Memories
by Suma99
Summary: The woman sat motionless, gazing into the infinite depths of the water below. She had failed. Reaching out, a single finger touched the smooth surface, spreading ripples across the glassy pool. When the waters had settled, an image had appeared on it. A little girl, scared, alone. When the finger touched the water again, the image did not distort, but began to move. OC story.
1. Child

**Memories**

Child

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

The woman sat motionless, gazing into the infinite depths of the water below. So sad. Nothing left. She had failed. Reaching out, a single finger touched the smooth surface, spreading ripples across the glassy pool. When the waters had settle, an image had appeared on it. A little girl, scared, alone. Her red hair shorn short, dressed in a loose white robe. Once again, the hand reached out, but when the finger touched the water, the image did not distort, but began to move.

* * *

><p>The little girl cried, sobbing for a family she barely remembered. A word she knew was important slid past her lips.<p>

"Maman"

The smooth, featureless metal walls began to distort and a tall bearded man in a pristine lab-coat entered. The girl withdrew, suddenly terrified. The man's lips twitched, as if he was holding back a smile. The child drew back, only to find the chain around her wrists and neck had tightened, preventing movement. A dart fired from the wall, hitting her in the arm. A slight widening of the eyes, a flash of fear and then she was unconscious. The man busied himself, removing the heavy chains swiftly before signalling the stretcher through. The child was lifted as if she weighed nothing, placed with infinite care on the rough white material. Moving fast through the corridors, the man began readying himself.

The theatre was pristine, unused. With a slight smile he placed on the mask and gloves, as a strip of hair was shaved from the child's head, leaving an area perfect for entry. The shining pieces of metal on the tray, destined for the girl's brain, glistened, full of knowledge. Knowledge that would make the perfect weapon. Knowledge of what she one day would be. Humming softly to himself, he picked up the delicate scalpel for the first incision…

The girl sat, groggy and confused in her cell, feeling the blood dry on the back of her head. Thoughts that didn't belong to her were rushing through her head, too fast for a three-year-old to comprehend.

"The recoil on a AK-47 is…"

"The expert in battle moves the enemy…"

"A fatal mistake in unarmed combat is to…"

"A single strike to the suprastrenal notch can cause severe internal bleeding…"

As the first sting of a salty tear began to well up at this intrusion to her thoughts, she realized she could understand the words spoken outside the cell for the first time in their entirety, instead of the few words she had picked up over time.

"Did the Prof say what this thing was capable of?"

"No, but the way he's acting, it'll be better than an army."

"You're telling me. Apparently, the first one killed everyone in the facility in under ten minutes when it broke out."

"And we're guarding this thing?"

"Don't worry. The last one was an adult. The most this one can do is bite our ankles."

"I don't know. I can't help but feel a little bad. Locking up a kid and all…"

"Are you kidding? That isn't a kid, okay? That's a weapon in training. Don't **ever **yet the Prof hear you call **it **a kid."

An image flashed through her head. A man. Short. Dark hair. Snarl sneaking past his lips. Three claws, gleaming with metal extended through his hand, standing over a man, bleeding on the floor. And then a whisper in the darkest corner of her mind.

"This is what you will one day be…"

Scared, alone and not even safe in her own head anymore, the girl-weapon cried herself to sleep.

* * *

><p>The woman leaned back, a sad smile on her lips. So scared. So alone. She longed to reach out, give the child a promise of the beautiful things to come. But she couldn't. There was nothing left to reach out to. The waters swirled, blurring the sleeping girl and replacing it with another image. The same girl, now a few years older, her hair growing into a bob, with a single defiant black streak against the red. Dressed in identical white robes and holding a sword with two hands, trying hard not to over balance. The woman looked at the image and then, almost as if she didn't care- how could she not care, she cared so, <strong>so <strong>much- waved a hand, starting the image moving.

* * *

><p>The girl danced, dodging the lasers and ducking under darts. The sword flashed and a flying bot was cut down in midair. The sweat running down her face was a testament to the difficult challenge. The Professor was watching with interest. Of course he was. Here was <strong>his <strong>experiment, his **creation**, running a gauntlet most adult agents at the peak of their ability couldn't handle. Even at six years of age, it appeared he had chosen well. Even though the digital implants enhanced her learning ability a hundredfold, she appeared to be naturally intelligent, agile and resilient to anything they could throw at her.

"And that is without it's power activated…"

The child finished with a broad sweep of the sword, decapitating the final robot. She held the sword, which was almost as big as she was tall, in a momentary salute before allowing her exhausted arms to drop. Instantly, a huge shock of electricity from the collar around her neck caused her to snap back to attention, a single tear rolling down her other impassive face. Once again, there was the hum of electricity as the collar did its job. The Professor strode out and began berating her.

"Tears are weak! We have **no **weaklings here! And show respect. The exercise has not finished until the instructor says it has. What are you?"

There was a flash of something, almost rebellious, in her eyes until the veil of indifference dropped down and she replied in a dull monotone.

"I am a weakling. I am nothing. I am not worthy of the honour bestowed on me. I will never be Weapon X. I owe my life to the Professor's kindness. I will be the best. I will be Weapon X-ii."

The Professor smiled and turned away. Deep down, in a twisted way, he cared for the child. She would be his legacy. She was perfect. And her spirit was his.

* * *

><p>The woman watched in silence as scene after scene of this barbaric cruelty ensured. The girl grew stronger, the tasks harder, the thanks less. She began to listen, to learn. Not out of choice, but out of a desperate need to be recognized. She learned what was already in her mind. It wasn't so much being taught as being reminded. She grew faster than a child should, becoming an adult in some areas, a child in others. Gradually she was almost trusted. No more was she tranquillized any time they wanted to take her anywhere. The chains were still there, but they were slowly loosened. She was able to move, explore the room that was her home. But it wouldn't be <strong>her <strong>home for long.

* * *

><p>The girl entered the room, exhausted after training. She had done well enough to be allowed sleep and food. A stirring in the corner had her on instant alert, hands snapping up to a guard position, feet moving quickly, taking her weight on the back leg, ready to snap round in a roundhouse kick. The bundle in the corner moaned again, more pitiful than threatening. She moved closer, warily but not with her usual caution. Her steps were carefully placed, silent. She didn't walk like a child. She walked like a predator. A dishevelled head, eyes red with tears, appeared from under the blanket, saw the girl and ducked back in as a hand swung round, smashing into the concrete floor. The head peered out again and saw the same expression of fear and surprise on the girls face as it's own. Gradually, almost as if to show it meant no harm, the figure uncurled and stood up. A second girl, gangly and awkward looking, all arms and legs, gazing at the other, wary, graceful girl, a whole head shorter but who could obviously beat the other in an instant if required. The eyes were different as well. The newcomer's eyes were those of a child, innocent and scared. The shorter girl had a look of world-weariness not seen even in adults and suggested suffering and sorrow. But there was still a hint of steel in their golden depths, as if there was still a little uncrushed spirit, still a child deep down. The other girl seemed to sense her confusion and launched in.<p>

"I'm Eva. Who are you?"

The girl's mind raced, finding the language in her data banks and translating it.

"Weapon X-ii."

If Eva was surprised, she didn't show it.

"Too long. I'll just call you Xii."

The girl appeared surprised. In all her years, no one had ever treated her with such frank friendliness. Tentatively she tried the facial expression of the other. The corners of her mouth moved up and her lips parted, showing her teeth. The result was astonishing.

Eva flung her arms around the newly named Xii and gave her an exuberant hug. Only for both to be racked with the pains of an electric shock. Xii remained upright, the smile dropping from her face and went silently to stand against the wall and place her arms above her head for the cuffs to slide out of the wall to shackle her wrists. Her eyes showed only resignation and sorrow that the hard work of the day had gone unrewarded. Eva lay crying on the floor, as shock after shock ran through her body and she couldn't stop the tears.

Xii just sat and looked on. Even when the other girl looked at her pleadingly, she didn't react. She stared into space and tried to escape the living hell of her life.

* * *

><p>Once more the woman moved back from the water. Her face was pensive, thoughtful. The girl Eva was so full of life. She had obviously grown up in a normal family. It was Xii who was the enigma, Xii who she was interested in. The child who was an adult and a weapon and so many other things. The child with a heart of fire and ice and a spirit of adamantium. The girl with a thousand names. The girl with so much to gain…and so much to lose.<p>

* * *

><p>The two girls danced around in a barrage of lasers. Xii was still swifter, stronger but Eva had lost her awkwardness. They were best of friends. Xii carried the brunt of the work and Eva helped in her own, unique way. She reached out to the image of a gun on the wall and concentrated. The image solidified and burst out of the wall and she threw the gun to Xii, who immediately began the difficult task of shooting the weaponry on the walls. They moved in unison, graceful and smooth, towards the next image and the one after that. Eva's mutant ability keeping them safe, while Xii's perfect aim, a mixture of natural talent, training and data banks, prevented either from going down to a burst of white fire. The last turret fell and the girls exchanged smiles. They had grown closer as the years went by, with Xii showing Eva the ropes and helping her when she wasn't strong enough to complete tasks. Strictly speaking, Eva was Eden. But she still remembered the family who had sold her on discovery their third child was a mutant and sometimes thought about her brothers. For Xii, Eva was her only family. Their only other friend had been a guard, the one who had expressed doubts about "locking up a kid", who had become their greatest ally. He talked to them and they learnt more from him of the world than anywhere else. He had remained out of a need to protect the two children who were growing up faster than a child deserved. At ten, they acted more like people who had lived a lifetime. He had left though. Xii never mentioned the sound of a gunshot she had heard on the night he had signed off for the last time.<p>

* * *

><p>The woman sat back. She wished she could go back and tell the man what he had done. He had given a child the chance to be a child. The waters swirled again and she recoiled. Not this. Please not this. She didn't want to see this again. But the images moved on regardless.<p>

* * *

><p>The two girls squeezed through the ventilation shaft. It was hot and every ten seconds a blast of air sent them sliding backwards. It had been the work of years. They had studied schematics, sketched portraits of themselves on the wall. To the guards watching, the two girls were sleeping in their cots. It was the tenth anniversary of Xii's arrival. She was twelve. Eva was thirteen. Just. She had used much of her energy creating bodies from the sketches, effectively brain-dead clones. Xii was helping carry her. Finally, they pushed back the last air vent and stepped into the driving blizzard. They struggled through wave after wave of thick snow, one girl carrying the weight of the other. Both were strong and healthy, but neither had eaten that day and they weren't going to last long. Sooner or later something was going to go wrong. Xii took a step wrong, caught her ankle in a hidden burrow, fell and heard her leg give a sickening crack. Eva stopped, but Xii waved her on, a single word passing through her lips that passed a death sentence on one of them.<p>

"Go…"

Eva looked back once, then continued, as Xii lay back and waited for the howling dogs to find her.

* * *

><p>Once more the woman looked on in sadness as Xii was found, half dead from exposure and pain.<p>

* * *

><p>The guards were shocked. Years of being told to care for the Weapon and now they were being told to punish her, <strong>it<strong>, as they saw fit. They had finally decided on the dogs. She sat there, expressionless. Gazing through the unbreakable glass, golden feline eyes locked in them. The dogs attacked and a slight whimper past her lips and then nothing. She sat as wave after wave of pain ran through her. Suddenly, the door slid back and a body was thrown in. Eva. Broken, the life passing from her as Xii pushed her way through the vicious dogs to get close. But as she reached her, she smelt the life slip from her battered body. Xii screamed. The scream of someone who had lost their dearest friend, their only reason for living. Her hands bunched into fists and sudden pain caused her to scream again. Smooth bone slid from her hands, passing through her finger joints, telescopicically unfurling, lengthening. At the same time, the wounds in her stomach and legs began to heal. Pain beyond any torture the Professor could devise ran through her and a rage so cold and terrible lost the child. There was no Xii, just the beast, the murderer. The human who moved so fast and so ruthlessly that the dogs didn't know what hit them. Then the child gained control and screamed. She screamed with the pain of someone who had lost their innocence forever.

* * *

><p>The woman again paused in her reflections. Was that it? The first time the beast had been released. How crude. That anger wasn't animal. That was the anger of the worst of humanity. An animal's rage is pure. And the emotions swirling from the pool were tainted with hate and fear and cruelty. And above all, a thirst for revenge.<p> 


	2. Weapon

**Memories**

Weapon

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

She was dangerous. They all said that. Ever since Project: Eden had died, Weapon X-ii had become lethal. She had mauled a guard, went on hunger strikes, stood under a pile driver in a suicide attempt. No one dared enter her cell unless she was restrained. To move her, they required vast amounts of tranquillisers. Her healing peaked then dipped, her claws would cut through concrete yet shatter on wood. They said she was insane. And quietly, in the dark corners, they whispered that had been the plan all along.

Xii knew none of the whispers. All she knew was that she was responsible for Eva's death. She was the strong one, the one who had been able to survive the blizzard. But she had ordered Eva on and in doing so killed her greatest, her only friend. The claws that slid from her hands were special. Cuts from them didn't heal. She could smell the fluid that slid along their length and realized it halted her fast healing. Now, heavy gloves covered her hands, after yet another suicide attempt. Scars ran around her wrists, but they had taken to solving that. Cuts along the scars, perfect healing. No nasty marks to detract from the appearance of their perfect weapon. She wasn't beautiful. She was too wiry, her eyes haunted by ghosts of the past. But there was something about her fierce golden eyes, eyes that dug into you, confronted you. They were the eyes of a predator. The perfect predator. The one who could, who **would** hunt anything.

* * *

><p>No child of 13 should have those eyes. The woman's eyes flickered, soft and golden. The eyes were liquid, full of love and caring. As different from the anger and hate in the girl's eyes as could be. The eyes of the woman were sad though. Sad in a way you could only be when you were so happy and then lost something dear to you.<p>

* * *

><p>The girl was bound. Her eyes were as filled with hate as they had been for the past two years. Twelve years to the day after being brought to the facility. It was her fourteenth birthday. She was strong. She was important. She'd realised that when Eva had been killed. Eva had been disposable. Xii was unique. No one else had her ability. No one but Weapon X. Once Xii had <strong>admired <strong>the man. The closer she had been to him, the better she had been treated. Now she hated him with a passion reserved only for him and the man who had killed Eva. And now they wanted her to **become **him. They were attaching the various drips and syringes, cowering beneath her fiery gaze. Despite the bonds, every man in the room knew that she could break free is she could be bothered to. They heard the argument coming closer.

"…but she is not ready. The process could kill, or at the very least cripple her. Her bones aren't strong enough…"

"Professor Robson, I suggest you follow through with your pet **project**. My employers are not in the habit of waiting for things they have paid for."

"She isn't strong enough. Weapon X was an adult when the process was initiated."

"Perhaps my employers will take their business elsewhere. I hear a group in the States has managed to clone Weapon X…"

"This project is superior to Weapon X or any other Weapon Plus project so far. She is capable of killing Weapon X, something ever other weapon has **failed **to do…"  
>"Spare me your excuses. I have come to inspect the <strong>goods<strong>. I'd better be impressed."

The Professor entered, followed by an imposing man, a stranger. Xii couldn't see his face but she didn't care. Nothing mattered. Anyway, she barely used her eyes anymore. Smell told so much more. The man was calm. He wasn't afraid and he had little scent. So different from the other men who came to talk to the Professor. They were subordinates. This man was a leader. His hand grabbed her face and turned it towards him. Her lips slid apart in a feral snarl, she snapped her head away. He laughed coldly.

"Start the process."

And she was lowered into the tank and her bones froze then burned.

* * *

><p>Echoes of pain sounded inside the cavernous room. The woman recoiled, breaking contact. Pain… Fire and ice…breaking and strengthening at the same time. The girl was becoming unbreakable. But at the same time she was so fragile.<p>

* * *

><p>She lay there, cold, motionless. At first glance it looked as if she was dead. But a slight movement of the chest, a flicker of an eyelid betrayed her life. She was broken. The pain had seen to that. She had felt her bones trying to grow and the metal laced into them pulling it together. It had hurt so much. It still hurt. Deep down she knew the pain would never go away. She was broken but they called her unbreakable. She was the girl with an adamantium skeleton. The girl to equal Weapon X. The stranger had been the one to pull her back out. She had been half-dead. The words he had whispered ran through her head.<p>

"There now. That didn't hurt too much, did it?"

She couldn't answer. She was dying. She had felt the poison in her bones, passing into her bloodstream and knew that unless her healing kicked in soon she'd succumb to the deadly bite. Finally she felt something happen and her laboured breathing calmed. She would live. She looked at the steel gloves and concentrated. She was still pain-drunk but the four hollow bone claws slid from her hands and through the holes in her finger bones. But the claws were bone no longer. Smooth metal tore through steel, flawless, unbreakable. Now angry, she shattered the chains with one swift strike and then proceeded to carve deep into the concrete the one thing she wanted more than anything.

LEAVE ME ALONE!

* * *

><p>The woman sat back. Now for the test of Xii's humanity. Now to see if she was human or animal. Now to see how brave she really was.<p>

* * *

><p>Xii stood at the end of the training room in silence. She'd been unfit to train for weeks as her body had acclimatised to the metal that had bonded with it. The man had planned to come later to see how worthy she was of his mysterious employers' money. The door at the other end of the room opened and a man was pushed in. Her nostrils flared as she caught the scent. The scent that had permeated Eva's body. The scent of death. Eva's murderer. And they were <strong>giving <strong>him to her. She leapt forward, powerful and lithe. The man had a gun but the bullet wounds healed almost as soon as they tore her skin. The gun fell apart, cut lengthways in a single adamatium stroke and the claws were digging into the man's neck. A voice came across the speaker system.

"Kill him."

Xii looked into the eyes of the man she had hated for two years. And recoiled. The eyes could have been Eva's. Scared, confused and sad. So sad. Eva had looked at her like that. In that moment Xii made a decision. Her claws slid smoothly back into her hands and she offered her arm to the guard. Hesitantly, as if he didn't believe this was possible, he took her outstretched hand and she pulled him upright. No words were spoken but the meaning was clear.

"I forgive you. Killing is wrong."

The man tried a tentative smile that changed to a look of shock as a smoking bullet hole appeared in his chest. Xii turned, claws sliding out with a "Chikt" noise and then collapsed as the chips in her brain blocked the neuron pathways.

* * *

><p>So she had listened to her heart. The woman sat back. Xii had chosen the darker of the two roads but would be rewarded in the end for her compassion. But the rewards would come later. First there would be pain.<p>

* * *

><p>She woke face down in darkness. Metal bands help down her wrists, waist and neck. Her back was bare and the room smelt of blood. The lights flared on, hurting her already sensitive eyes. There was a noise as a motor above her whirred into life and then she sensed it. Blades moving downwards. Towards her back. She tried to move but the bands held her tight. She couldn't turn her head, couldn't apply enough force to lever off the surgeons stretcher she was on. And then her back was ripped open from shoulder to hip, on both sides. An X of fire, permanent. She could smell the heal-halter on the blades. There was blood and lots of it. The swords stopped when they reached her spine, unable to slice through the unbreakable metal. But it was still deep enough to make her spasm, and scream. Screams that couldn't be heard. Who listens in the wilderness?<p>

* * *

><p>The woman's eyes were sad and angry at the same time. This child was suffering for her beliefs yet none were there to see her triumph. If people knew of her plight, would they respond? She knew but the answer puzzled her.<p>

* * *

><p>The scabs were cracking on her back. She knew they were permanent. But she welcomed them. She wasn't whole physically, like she had never been whole spiritually. The words from outside bore into her skull.<p>

"You promised me a weapon. Not a spy, not a bodyguard. An assassin. One who would do anything we asked. And now you tell me she has a conscience. We're withdrawing our funding. The X-23 project is a better choice."

"You don't understand. Even if she is useless as a weapon, think of the breeding possibilities. We could splice her DNA with that of Weapon X, Sabretooth or any of the other weapons…"

"Don't make excuses. She's a coward. A weakling. We have no time for weaklings."

"Even if she refused to kill the man, she is still a perfect spy. She hacked the Pentagon security when she was six. That 23 project wasn't able to do that."

"How do you know about the X-23 Project?"

"We have sources…"

The voices faded as Xii snarled. Moved from weapon to breeding factory. A producer of new, better weapons. She'd rather die. In fact, if they gave her that status, she'd kill herself. She'd slit her throat with her own claws rather than be a factory. So why was she waiting. It would be so easy. One swift movement and all her troubles would be over. One stroke…

The claws slid out. Hand moving slowly. Why move slowly? Just get it over with! She moved carefully, determined not to make the guards notice her. The first smooth metal tip touched her throat. One movement. That would be all it took. So promising. Just to die and never be hurt again…

She glanced round, to make sure that no one was watching. Her hand dropped down in shock. A woman's face gazed out of the smooth metal wall, where Xii's reflection should be. The face was covered on the right side, a mask of ice in a curious shape. It looked like a lizard, but no lizard had that carved intelligence. And the woman's eye that was visible was sad. It was golden like Xii's but the pupil was silver, with a coiled serpentine creature writhing. She tilted her head and smiled slightly. The sad smile of someone who cared for Xii. Xii raised her head, tried to reach out to the woman, but she was no longer there. How?

* * *

><p>The woman recoiled in shock. The girl had seen her. She had responded. She could see through the Eye. Was she truly so powerful? Even then. Oh, how much hope Xii would have if she knew the truth. Her power was stronger than it seemed. Her physical mutation was only the weakest of her gifts. She had a great power deep down, a power she didn't realize she had but had been using since she was a child.<p>

* * *

><p>Xii sat silently. The woman <strong>had <strong>been there. She was sure of it. She had been watching and had reached out when she was giving up. Perhaps someone did care… Perhaps, if she wanted to reach out again she would see her…

Questions, questions, always questions. But there was something to live for. She sat in silence, for days on end. She managed to get enough water, but by the end of the week there was no food left. It seemed like everyone had forgotten her. She was considering whether her teeth would halt her healing when, finally, the slot in the door slid open and the bowl of food slid in. She gave if a cursory sniff and then, happy that it wasn't drugged she began to eat, swiftly, with the movements of one who had went without food often and knew starvation well. There was fear there as well. The collar hummed, almost in readiness. She couldn't remove it. The hooks cut deep into her neck and the last attempt to cut it out had almost killed her. She finished and sniffed once more.

The Professor entered. He looked and smelt edgy. There was sorrow in his stance. Interesting. Suddenly she could read him like a book. There was another scent. One outside. One heavy, male and animalistic. The Professor opened his mouth.

"Weapon X-ii. Unfortunately, our funding has been removed. We have had to sell this facility. You are one of the experiments here and as such, you will remain. The new owner has promised that you will not be terminated but your training will continue or you may be released. Please meet your new master. Mr Creed, if you would come in…"

The man was tall. He had long blond hair and heavy gloves and clothes. There was a familiarity to the scent. Where had she smelt it before? It had been in a lesson. One of the scents she had been ordered to memorize. But the data banks were not responding. They often didn't when her brain had been shut down. It would take a while for the connections to join and until then she had lost her perfect recall.

Come on, come on, work you stupid pieces of metal. You're supposed to be useful. You're the result of over two million dollars of research and you don't work when I need you to.

The man, Creed, walked over to her and pulled her head back, pressing his fingers in the corners of her mouth, forcing it open. He gave her sharp canines a cursory glance and removed his hand, causing her head to drop in pain. He seized her wrist and twisted it until her claws slid out of her knuckles and she screamed in pain. He smiled slightly and walked out, murmuring as he did so.

"I'll buy everything."

The Professor looked at her, fear in his eyes. There was something else, a feeling that he cared about her. As if! He hated her. They all did. The scars on her back were proof of that. They still cracked when she moved but if she kept still there wasn't too much pain. She'd got used to there always being pain. She'd learned to live on it. Pain kept her sustained when food couldn't. She controlled the pain, as it controlled her. In a way, she was pain, pure animal pain. It defined her.

* * *

><p>The woman once more relaxed, breaking contact with Xii. The pain had reached a point where it had been interfering with the memories. So many memories. So much knowledge still unused. Perhaps this had been a bad idea. Gazing into the past simply stirred up old fears and sorrows. But she had started this and she had to end it. She didn't know why she decided to read Xii's life like this. Perhaps… But no, she wouldn't be so child-like as to want to relive that. She was rambling again. Back to the subject. Back to the Eye.<p> 


	3. Lost

**Memories**

Lost

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Xii was afraid. She had been sad before, wary and nervous. But never afraid. Never all-consuming fear. The scent had been remembered. Mr Creed. Sabretooth. How had he got the money to buy this place? Her fingers slid round to her back, over the scar tissue on her right shoulder that ran down to her left hip. Then to her left shoulder. The blood ran fresh there. Creed…Sabretooth had laughed as he had ripped the partially healed scar open. He derived pleasure from her pain. He fed her when the whim came to him and he only touched her to tear open the scar or to make her fight him, using the old combat rooms. The fights always ended the same way. She couldn't chikt her claws through the adamantium gloves and starvation blunted her abilities. She always ended up being thrown back into her cage…not a room anymore, but a cage, with one of the scars torn open. They healed. But the scar tissue didn't. That confused her. Perhaps the blades were more than her heal-halter. They had taken the blades. That and some of the more usable equipment. Otherwise, she had been left. Left to a murderer.

* * *

><p>The woman sighed. Creed was brutal. His book was a testament to that. She had seen it once. Written on animal skins, with blood for ink. He was primitive in methods, but not in thoughts. That was his strength. And Xii. The girl who had no book. An impossibility to be sure, but every rule had its exceptions. And the books were really just a form of telepathic recording. If you couldn't reach into the mind, the book couldn't be written. Actually, that was a lie. She did have a book. A huge book. Several volumes. Volume One slid off the pile nearby and rushed to the woman's hand. The pages were blank. Blank, blank, blank. It took a while for you to realize there <strong>were <strong>words on the page. They were faint and could only be seen from a certain angle. So interesting. Such contradictions. Such a child. So dangerous and so delicate. And the figure standing over her in the pool. Here to was a man of mystery. But not as great as the girl. The book lay there next to her. If she removed more from the Archives, the Heart would collapse, leaving only the Sceptre. She waved a hand and all the books other than Xii's rose and moved, held on streams of water. At the final book floated away, it bobbed and the title became visible.

ROMULUS

* * *

><p>The girl sat in the cage, chains holding her arms behind her back and the collar wrenching her head back. Sabretooth was watching as a shadowy figure stepped out from behind a pillar. He glanced at her.<p>

"She is not Lupine."

"But sir…"

"At the most, her mutation is feline. She is not Lupine."

"Of course…sir."

Sir! Creed called someone sir! And he stank of fear and sweat. Whoever this was, Creed feared him. That was good and bad. Anyone Creed feared was dangerous. But it was good to see Creed grovel, as he made her grovel. Somewhere deep inside she still had pride and strength. She'd suffered four years of this. And she had never once struck back, never once tried to gain revenge. Words from the guard who had cared still resonated.

"Hate weakens you. Revenge steals your life. Forgive but do not forget. When somebody injures you, offer up the other cheek to humiliate them. Most people don't realize but the expression, turn the other cheek comes from the rule you could slap slaves. Backhand was reserved for equals. By turning the other cheek, you forced them to acknowledge you as an equal. All the pieces in that passage are like that. All keep your self-respect. Remember that Xii. You don't have to be what they want you to be."

"I will remember. I remember. I…I…I can't forgive. But I can try…"

She saw his face. Worried. He hadn't meant to be here. It had been an admin accident. But he had seen the pain she was in and had decided to stay. On his shifts she could drop her guard. The chains would be loosened and she could listen to him talk. Sometimes he had played music. She still recalled him singing in a pure voice the words to that song. He had laughed when she had attempted to join in and sounded terrible. She had given up hopes of ever learning to sing. She couldn't carry a tune and it was too late for her to learn. He had given her a chance. Kept her sane. And she didn't even know his name…

* * *

><p>How often things like that happen. The woman smiled sadly. Another book she couldn't find. What was the point of the Library if you couldn't find the book you were looking for. For goodness sake, every piece of knowledge in the universe was stored here and she couldn't find the thing she wanted to. How typical. Of course she could simply recalibrate the Eye to follow the guard but that would be cheating. She had a better idea. Ice groaned and creaked as water swirled, forming a face. The guard. The water sparkled and shone and gradually settled, leaving a face carved in ice. A tribute to kindness<p> 


	4. Found

Memories

Found

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Six years. Six years of living hell. Ever since the others had left and she had been left to Creed's less than tender mercies, Xii had learned to black out the world. It was easier just to give in. Then he'd tire of hurting her and throw her away. The more she fought, the more enjoyment he got. So she didn't. She just stood silently, refusing to raise a hand to defend herself. And so he simply tore open her back again and pushed her back into the cage. It hurt, but she'd learned early on he could hurt her worse than that. The beating had left her unable to move for a day even with her fast healing. She hadn't given up though. In her mind, she fought back and beat him, holding her claws under his throat and then…then she didn't know what. Her imagination couldn't stretch far enough to imagine killing him. One day though…One day…she'd find out. And she couldn't wait.

* * *

><p>The woman laughed. One day. Next day more like. Finally Xii would learn. Learn the things a child knew. And maybe forget the things no child should. Was Xii a child? She was…how old? Twenty? So much older in many respects. So much younger in others. This would be interesting. Perhaps to switch perspectives? Who to choose? Ah, yes… Herr Wagner…<p>

* * *

><p>"Elf, we ain't got much time."<p>

Kurt sighed. He didn't see why there was so much fuss about this. Apparently Wolverine…Logan…had been told there was something important deep in the Northern Rockies. What it was exactly was…well…unclear. Logan acted like he knew what he was doing but when Kurt had asked him, out of the range of the other X-Men what they were going up against, he had shrugged.

"Not a clue. Can't remember anything from then. All I know, it's to do with my past. And that's all I care about."

Frankly, it was amazing he had managed to persuade the others to come. Kurt had always been for coming. Peter hadn't taken much persuading. It was the Professor and Cyclops that had been difficult to persuade. Somehow Logan had managed it. He'd got the Professor to do the mind-reading thing and after a hurried conference with Cyclops the X-Men had been given the green light to go. There had been that slight problem with Kitty wanting to come but hopefully this time they'd left her behind. They'd made sure to check to storage locker this time. The Blackbird was nearing it's destination. Through all the snow and earth, a glimmer of metal. There. Was that what they were looking for? It looked small. Insignificant. As they prepared to touch down, Kurt couldn't help but wonder…

"What have we gotten ourselves into?"

The place was deserted. The corridors were silent. It was like someone had just said a word and everyone had upped sticks and left. The equipment they had left behind… Some of it was more advanced than the stuff back home. Who were these people? Kurt shivered and hurried over to talk to Logan.

"This place is empty. Whatever you're looking for mein Freund, it is not here."

"That's what you think. There's a scent. It's faint. Can't quite pick it up. But it's there."

"Do you know where we are?"

"Haven't got a clue. Whatever this place is, it ain't where I was. Stop. Got it. There's a woman here. Smells like she's in a bad way. It stinks of blood."

Wolverine sped up, causing the other X-Men to run after him. How could someone so short go so fast? What was there that was so important anyway. Finally, after what felt like miles of winding tunnels (this complex must be huge), they reached a pair of huge doors. Wolverine was already cutting out a gap to allow them through. The doors fell in on themselves and Kurt staggered as the stench hit him. The walls were covered in gore. A massacre had obviously taken place there. And at the opposite end of the long room was a cage. There was a figure there, but whoever it was appeared to have collapsed. There was a chain holding his head up. As they got closer Nightcrawler gasped

"Is that a…a child?"

The figure looked up. Fierce golden eyes glared out of a grubby and bloodstained face. Rough, filthy hair framed a face that was obviously that of a young woman. But the eyes that burned and accused were like Logan's only deeper. Someone who had suffered and screamed and in the end given up. Storm moved closer, reaching for the cage door only to withdraw her hand as the woman within snarled and snapped, revealing sharp canines.

"Ororo, for all we know, this woman might be responsible for this…massacre. I don't think you should…"

"Scott, this is a child. She is scared. Let her be."

As the others bickered about the girl, Kurt watched as Logan crouched down, so his eyes were level with the girl's. They sat there for a while, just looking at each other. Wolverine spoke first.

"I reckon you'll understand me. It hurts doesn't it? I guess you're like me 'cos they put you in an adamantium cage…"

Gradually the others noticed what he was doing and turned to listen. The words soon dropped into the background. It was simply the tone that mattered. The way you talked to a spooked animal. The girl never broke eye contact with Wolverine, just stared at him, gaze never waivering from his face. Finally she spoke.

"Please…get me out… I can't stay here any longer…He will return soon. Please."

Kurt shuddered. Who was the "he" she referred to with great fear? Storm began the slow job of picking the lock as the others took turns to keep watch. The girl…so hard to think of her as a woman…moving restlessly. She seemed unable to remain still, so unlike the corpse-like figure they had seen when they first entered. She was odd. There was something about the unblinking eyes that scared him. It wasn't the feline pupils, or the unnatural golden colour. No he was fine with that. It was the look of years in her eyes. The same look that Logan had, only the outer layer had none of the steel. But look further and you saw the metal, unbreakable. The eyes of someone guarded and dangerous. Someone who could kill with the flick of a hand. Yet someone who wouldn't. He gave up trying to read her eyes. There was no point.

The door swung open and with a swift tug, Colossus broke through the chains. She collapsed. Peter passed her out and Kurt felt how thin she was under the loose once-white robe. Storm offered her an arm but the girl pushed it away, managing to stand. She swayed slightly but then steadied herself. There was a strength there. She refused all help other than what she obviously needed. She began to walk away, towards the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm not going to hurt you. Everything I touch dies. That or it hurts me. He'll be back soon. I have to run. Have to get away. Have to escape. Have to be free. Never been free before. Wonder what it is like to be free."

Wolverine was there first.

"Kid, you're a walking corpse. We'll get you out of here. Don't worry, we'll look after you."

The girl withdrew, fear in her eyes as a figure rose up out of the darkness and thrust a clawed hand through Wolverine's chest. The girl screamed, her hands bunching into fists. A blond man stepped out of the shadows. Was it a man? There was the look of an animal about him.

"Now, now little one. We can't have you escaping can we? Oh dear, this will lead to punishment. After I've dealt with your would-be rescuers."

The girl snarled and dropped into a low combat stance, smooth metal sliding out of her hands.

Oh no, not another one! There are enough mad lunatics with claws.

She launched herself at the man. There were no threats, no posturing. She simply flung herself into the fight like she was born fighting. The fight was no place for anyone else. It was the fight between animals, only one was cheating and the other was cheating even more. The girl had the upper hand. Claw marks on the man didn't heal while all the injuries he gave her simply healed. Suddenly, with a fierce roundhouse kick, the man was down and the girl rammed her claws under his throat. As they watched she seemed to falter as if she couldn't quite bring herself to ram the lethal looking claws into the man's brain. The man sensed his opponent's weakness and flung her the length of the room, where she crashed into a wall and slumped to the floor. In a second, all hell had broken lose. Something the girl had hit had caused the room to go insane. Lasers burst, pile drivers came crashing towards them. It was like the Danger Room only even more intense. A movement wrong could result in death. A very, very painful death.

* * *

><p>The woman watched as unnoticed Creed slipped away. Now she would go back to Xii's perspective. After all it was her she was interested in, not Nightcrawler, as endearing as he was.<p>

* * *

><p>The blackness cleared and Xii looked up. The short man was bending over her and she panicked. She swung her fist in an arc, managing to connect before realizing it wasn't Creed. She tried to apologize but the man waved away her feeble attempts. One of the others, the metalman, offered her a hand up but she managed to pull herself up, before collapsing again. This time the blue man with the brimstone scent caught her and pulled her up. The man in blue with the odd glasses came up and looked in her face.<p>

"Was he responsible for this?"

"Yes. He tore and hurt. Kept hurting. Wouldn't stop. Blood's mine. All mine."

"All this?"

"Mine. Mine, mine, mine. Tore and hurt and wouldn't stop. Kept hurting. Wouldn't fight back. Refused. Be strong. I humiliated him by refusing to fight."

Suddenly what she had been saying clicked in her head.

"My apologies. I think the force at which I was thrown must have scrambled my language banks."

"Come again."

"My language banks translate for me and give me fluency in many tongues. It is a most useful skill to have. Now if one of you would be so kind as to show me the exit."

The people like her glanced at one another and she knew they were going to refuse.

"Please…"

The short man with the scent she knew she should know but frankly couldn't care less about was the only one who tried to talk.

"Kid…"

"I am not a child. I am an adult. I think I'm twenty. I don't really know. It's hard to keep count. Let's say I'm definitely twenty plus."

"Okay, okay. Listen, you're half-starved and you're having trouble standing up. It's mid-winter out there. No way will you survive."

"I did before. And I didn't have my powers then."

"Look. You can come with us. We won't hurt you. We all were hurt. I know what you've gone through…"

"How? You don't know what I am."

The man didn't speak. Instead, he bunched up his hands and smooth metal claws snikted into position. Xii curled her hands into fists and allowed her claws to chikt out. She held them up to his. They were smaller, lighter. They looked spindly compared to his. She moved quickly, claws flying at his. His claws stopped hers. Adamantium. His eyes didn't leave hers.

"See. I know. We all have suffered. Some more than others. Will you come with us?"

She couldn't refuse. How could she? Another sufferer. Someone like her. Someone who knew the never-ending, never-ceasing pain of metal in his bones.

"I…I will come. But I cannot stay for long."

* * *

><p>The woman laughed at that. "Cannot stay for long." Brilliant. Of course, with Xii's lifespan she didn't actually spend that long with the X-Men. But she stayed longer than she anticipated. They all did in the end. That was the magic Xavier had created. Speaking of Xavier…<p>

* * *

><p>Xii stepped out of the plane…the Blackbird, the blue one-Nightcrawler had called it. A girl came running up but faltered when she saw Xii.<p>

"Storm…who is this?"

The woman turned to look at Xii.

"Who are you? We do not even know your name."

"They called me X-ii. I think of myself as Xii. It's the closest thing I have to a name."

She realized instantly that she had said was somehow wrong. The others spluttered and looked shocked. The girl was the first to speak.

"You don't have a name? Well I'm called Kitty and this is Scott, Ororo, Peter, Logan and Kurt. I'll take you to meet the Professor. You have heard of the Professor haven't you? Charles Xavier?"

"I am sorry…Kitty. I…I have heard of Professor Xavier but only in passing. Professor Robson called him one of the great minds of the day."

As the girl reached out a hand to Xii, she felt a sharp stab of pain. She was like Eva on that first day. So open. So trusting. She'd be hurt. And hurt badly. Xii shuddered. What danger had she put these people in?

The girl pulled her along a tunnel until they surfaced in a house. A man in a wheelchair appeared. He smiled at the girl…Kitty…must remember to call her Kitty. He looked at Xii as well and smiled. Not the smile of the people she was used to. This man seemed genuinely pleased to see her. She tried to smile in return but was panicking inside. Where was the famed Professor Xavier? There were no more people in the house and Professors were tall and angry and spoke loudly.

"Greetings Xii. My name is Charles Xavier. I hope you will see my home as yours during your stay here. Scott has filled me in on your situation. Perhaps Ororo could take you upstairs and find you some new clothes while you clean up?"

No, No, No! This was all wrong! Professors weren't soft-spoken and kind! Especially not one with a reputation like Xavier's. But there he was, treating Xii like a person… like an equal. He was the third. Second really. The other…Wolverine didn't count. They were the same. But the other X-Men had been wary around her. Not that she blamed them. She was dangerous. She knew that. Wolverine knew that. But did the others? They thought they did but in reality they hadn't got a clue. The sooner she could get away from here the better.

* * *

><p>Yes. Yes, Xii was dangerous. But only to herself. That's what she couldn't grasp. Alone for all those years she had decided that she would never look another human in the face again. Never care about someone again. And that had changed as she made excuses for her decision, as she tried to persuade herself to remain detached. The woman sat silent and still for a second…or was it for an eternity. Time has no meaning here. There is no then and now, no future. But time still happens. People create time. The woman decided that time was a useful thing. She didn't like running into versions of herself that she knew more than or they knew more than her. So she tried to keep the second going on forever. Her second. Her gift and her curse. She was living the same second again and again, it's just each time round she did something different. How boring. That's why she spent her second watching Xii. So interesting. So full of life. So much history. When you're bored stiff, you want to watch something long but with lots of action. Pretty much summed up Xii.<p>

* * *

><p>Xii looked over the clothes that Storm…Ororo…had pushed through the door. Why so many? All different colours. How did you choose? She was tired and hungry and the warm water hadn't helped. She'd never realized water could feel so good. They used to turn a cold hose on her when she got too dirty. It had never occurred to her you could use hot water and that sweet smelling stuff. Actually, she'd probably used too much of that fat-based product. But she'd wanted to get rid of all of the scent of that place. She'd used so much she no longer smelt of blood and gore and Creed. That was good in her eyes. Finally she grabbed some of the darker clothes that looked like they wouldn't drown her and covered the worst of her cuts that were still in the process of healing. When she stepped out Ororo gave her an odd look but passed no comment on her choice of clothing. Xii knew she had probably made some error but she really wasn't that bothered about clothes. A smell was permeating the house. Something sweet and sharp and mouth-watering. Food. When had she last eaten? Four, five days ago at least. Storm lead her to a room where the scents were stronger. She was having trouble not leaping for the food they placed in front of her.<p>

"Calm. Calm. You've gone for longer without food. Much, much longer."

Unbidden she remembered the day she realized she couldn't count on Creed bringing food and she'd been forced to reached out of the cage and scoop up the only source of food nearby. She had been sick, retched and retched until there was no more food to bring up, but for a short time she'd not been hungry so had to eat more. Cyclops…what had Kitty called him? Oh, yes…Scott glanced at her.

"You're starving. We can all see that. Eat."

Xii gave the bowl a cursory sniff, more out of habit than anything else before attacking the food with gusto. Gradually she slowed, realizing that the food she was being given was better than anything else. The scents and tastes melded. She noticed the other smiling, withholding laughter. When had she last laughed? Not since Eva died. Was it really eight years since she had last laughed? Was it six years since they had left her? The dates matched up. She hadn't been certain in the facility. Days blurred. Lights were on all the time. It threw her body clock off. At the moment, her body thought it was night and registered surprise at it being evening. Finally she finished and Kitty pushed another bowl in front of her. Xii pushed it away.

"I thought you were hungry."

"Too much rich food after starvation causes sickness. I haven't had a proper meal for many years. Just what Sabretooth gave me and …what I could reach when he withheld food."

All the people paled as they realized what she had been forced to eat. Xavier and Kitty had obviously been filled in on the room she had been in. All paled. Except Wolverine.

"Sensible."

She glanced at him, not long enough to be perceived as a threat but long enough for her to get a good look. He was about an inch shorter than her. His hair looked wild. He smelt like Creed. But not. It was complicated. He smelt like her. But not. So confusing. And he stank of ethanol and barley. Some of the guards had smelt of that. They were the ones who were callous. She glanced over again and saw the slight smile that made it obvious he'd realized what she was doing and thought it funny. And she couldn't help but notice he'd been doing the same. The others had all stared. He'd just glanced. And he'd noticed more than the rest put together. She wanted to laugh. So she did. She'd forgotten how good it felt to laugh. How it felt to get your feelings out. The others looked at each other hurriedly and Xii realized she'd come across as happy to have been forced to eat…what she'd had to.

"Sorry. Had a funny thought. I wasn't always…as you saw me. I used to laugh and smile. But I lost something. I lost the power to smile and instead got my other…gifts."

The Professor exchanged a glance with the others.

"The others have told me about your fight. I am interested in your ability and would like you to stay here permanently. And also I would like to give you the opportunity to explore your powers fully…"

There it was. He wanted her as an experiment. She tensed, ready to run and keep running. The only ones who could keep up with her would be Nightcrawler- Kurt and Ororo. And she could probably beat them in one-on-one. Her eyes flickered around, gauging distances. Finally, like a coiled spring she leapt, managing to slip between Peter and Scott and out of the door. She ran and ran, along the corridors and caught a breeze. Follow it. Sooner I'm out of here the better. She reached the door then stopped. No one had followed her. If they wanted to keep her, wouldn't they follow? She hesitated then walked out the door.

Then turned and walked to the kitchen window and listened. Wolverine was arguing with the Professor.

"Chuck, that kid's spent her whole life by with people being interested in her. She heard you talking about her power and panicked. If I go, I can talk to her. She's scared stiff. All of this is new to her. And she's been in Sabretooth's hands for who knows how long. That man's a lunatic."

"Logan, I wish you would tell me your relationship with this man."

"We don't have one! He hates me, I hate him. End of."

Logan…was that his name…she hadn't quite caught it…marched out. She watched the others argue. Some- Scott in particular- were all in favour of allowing her to leave. Ororo and Kurt were saying she shouldn't be allowed out. She wouldn't be able to cope. She was so absorbed in hearing what they were saying about her she didn't hear him sneaking up on her.

"Hey."

She turned, claws already out and swiped, only to be stopped by his. She relaxed. She felt…somehow…secure near him. Mainly because he was like her. He knew all the pain. And he'd realized what she had been doing and thought it was funny. Just like she did.

"What did he mean?"

"Charles wants you to join the X-Men. Be one of us. We can help you. He helped me. Helped me sort through all the fear and pain."

"I'm too dangerous. I shouldn't be here. I endanger people."

"Don't think you're as bad as me. Number of times I've almost killed someone I shouldn't."

She glanced up. Questions burning.

"You're like me. Who did it to you?"

"Government. Same as you I assume?"

"I think so. But there was someone paying for me. Don't know who it was. If I meet him again I'll recognize his scent. Aside from that…"

"Will you come back in? It's cold."

"I don't feel the cold."

"Neither do I. Don't tell the others, they'll just be jealous."

Smiling slightly, Xii followed Wolverine back into the warm house.

* * *

><p>The woman smiled. The first time Xii followed Logan. Definitely not the last. They would become close as time went on. Shared suffering did that. They'd all suffered the same. Of course, the others became friends. But Logan was the one she trusted first.<p>

* * *

><p>The X-Men looked in surprise as she stepped back into the kitchen. Wolverine grinned slightly.<p>

"Told ya I could bring her back Chuck."

"Where were you Xii?"

"Just outside the window."

"Oh."

That was it. No asking for an explanation. Just accepting she needed to have time on her own. That was new. She tried to smile. Kitty looked edgy.

"Sorry, Xii. But don't you have a **real** name."

"If I do I don't remember."

"It's just I don't feel right calling you Xii. It's like a nickname but you haven't got a name."

"I wouldn't know what to call myself."

"How 'bout Tora? Japanese name meaning tiger. Goes with your hair."

She turned and looked at Wolverine…Logan, curiosity burning.

"Why that name?"

"Came to me in a flash of inspiration."

Xavier looked at him oddly but then smiled.

"You will need a Christian name and surname if we are to get you identification. It's almost impossible to live these days without some sort of licence."

"In that case, I'll go with Tora. It's better than the name they wanted to give me."

"Which was?"

"Emilè Robsen. The Professor was Emil…"

"Ah. He named you after himself."

"Yes. I don't want that name."

"Understandable."

She sat quietly. Thinking the name over and over. Tora. Tora. It sounded odd. She liked the way the syllables meshed together. Funny. She'd never assumed she could have a name. It was just one of those things about her. Suddenly she was aware she was exhausted. That fight with Sabretooth had taken a lot out of her and she'd been weak to begin with. Followed by a meal and warm water, she was now half asleep. She wouldn't help the yawn slipping out of her mouth. Xavier looked at here in worry.

"I am sorry…Tora. I didn't realize you were so tired. I will have Ororo take you to a room."

"Thank you. I don't know how to repay you…"

"There is no need. If you were to try and gain money, you would be unable to cope."

"I don't want to be a problem."

"I would give all mutants a home here if I could. You have no home and I feel you deserve some luck after what has happened to you. If it is anything like Logan's experience, I cannot doubt you have suffered greatly."

Wolverine shifted slightly at that.

"Professor. I think it's worse than you assume. All the signs there were that she'd been there for most of her life. I have some memories of before it all, but the files she went through went back eighteen years."

Xavier gave her a sharp look.

"You went through files? Why?"

"I hoped they would contain information about before. All I remember before they gave me the knowledge was a single word. I don't remember anything about life. Just a word that I think I kept repeating. In French. …Maman. I think I wanted my mother and was so afraid that word burned into my brain. Without I wouldn't have a clue what language I originally spoke. I can think in English, French, Spanish and Japanese but the other languages I speak fluently I am conscious of them being translated for me."

"Thank you. I realize you have spent a long time alone and your honesty is refreshing."

"Honesty? You asked me a question and I answered. I do not understand the word honesty."

"Honesty is telling the truth."

"There is only truth. Truth and mistakes. Truths and misinterpretations. So why are you so surprised? I know my own mind."

"Do you have a concept of dishonesty?"

"Pardon?"

"Do you know about lies?"

"No. I do not know the word. What are they?"

"Imagine I said something that was mistaken. But I knew the information was mistaken. That is a lie."

"There is only truth and mistakes. No one says a mistake when they know the truth. It just doesn't happen."

"It does Tora. It does."

"Why?"

"Many reasons. Fear, hatred. People lie because they want to cover up their mistakes."

She looked shocked at that. Could someone not be mistaken but telling untruths? Would someone do that? A face flashed to the forefront of her mind. Yes. Yes they would. Perhaps things would be easier running free. The breeze outside. The scents to follow. The promise of running wild and free. But these people had offered her sanctuary. Things had been easier back at the facility. But these people seemed willing to allow her to stay. And the idea of being with people like her and Eva appealed. She nodded slightly.

"You have given me much to think about."

"As you have me."

She turned let Ororo lead her out of the kitchen upstairs. She knew that the eyes followed her up the stairs but she tried to ignore them. Every instinct caused her panic. She knew deep down this wasn't how she was meant to live. Nor was the facility. She was meant to run free. No walls. No barriers. Just her and the wind and rain and sun. She shook her head, dispelling the thoughts. She wasn't thinking clearly. But the breeze from outside had been so promising.

"I don't have to stay here. I can leave whenever I want."

She closed her eyes and allowed her other senses to guide her movements. While Ororo's scent gave her the general direction, the noises she made gave her an idea of obstacles. And the movements in the air as she passed gave her an indication of speed. It was good to see she could still function without sight.

She sense Storm stop and halted. Eyes now open, she saw her open a door.

"This is the room. I hope you like it."

Her first impression was of space. Then of objects. Things she had never seen but knew the names of. Large windows overlooking a wood. A door leading to a balcony. A good place to hide a snip… Oh for goodness sake. Couldn't those stupid chips be quiet for once? Now they had started they wouldn't stop, noticing every piece of furniture and turning it into a weapon. She must have shown her discomfort because Storm was there.

"Are you alright?"

"I am fine."

"The door there leads to a bathroom."

"Thank you."

She stood quietly, waiting to be left alone to her own thoughts. Ororo took the hint and left, shutting the door behind her. Finally alone, she relaxed, dropping her guard enough to allow herself to breath easily. She compared the room with the cell she had shared with Eva. It had at least double the space. Instead of the two narrow pull-down sheets of metal, there was a large bed in the centre. A glance told her all she needed to know. She walked over to the balcony door and opened it. As the breeze filled the room she lowered herself to the floor beside the bed and curled into a ball. The scents wafted into the room and the low murmur of voices downstairs slowly lulled the woman who now thought of herself as Tora to sleep.

* * *

><p>The woman smiled. Already she was dropping her guard. The X-Men knew how to make someone feel comfortable. But old habits die hard.<p> 


	5. Forward

**Memories**

Forward

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

She woke. There was water coming in from the open doors. It was raining. She closed them and sighed. She glanced at the clock on the table beside the bed. She'd got enough sleep to feel healthy. She'd never needed much. And she always felt more awake at night anyway. It sounded like everyone else was asleep. Everyone? No. There were voices downstairs. Quiet. Confidential. And only two. Kitty was along the corridor and Ororo had walked away from the stairs recently and not gone back down. Curiosity piqued, she opened the door. The corridor was dark but her pupils, normally oval, widened until the irises were no longer visible. She could see the outlines of the corridor and more. She'd realized it was special when Eva couldn't see the colours. She'd obviously had that gift before hand. She could see the sleeping form of Kitty through the wall, in reds that weren't red. As she'd grown older she'd realized she could see into infrared. It was useful. Not very far in but enough to allow her to see objects that radiated heat. She couldn't really tell how warm an object was but it was useful. Anything with a temperature difference of about 10°C showed in different shades. And the rooms had a temperature of about 20. It wasn't a big difference, but if you could see a rabbit in the heather, you could tell the difference between two shades of not-quite-red. She moved silently, on the balls of her feet. If you knew how, you could move more softly than a cat. And with more grace. With that she eased herself onto the banister. The empty space to the bottom of the house gaped below her. She stepped into the void.

As she fell, she twisted in the air, braced herself and landed lightly on her feet. It had been a while since she'd tried that trick. She had to stop herself from laughing. She remembered the bruises she'd gained learning how a cat twisted in the air and then the work that had gone into landing silently. It had been her coup d'grace and she knew it. Then she remembered why she had come downstairs. She sniffed the air. They were in the living room. Scott and Xavier. Once more she became one with the shadows. The words were there. She listened intently.

"What do you mean, you couldn't read her?" Scott. He sounded annoyed.

"I mean, Cyclops, that she has shields unlike any I have seen before."

"What do you mean?"

"I have encountered two types. The first type I have placed the X-Men's heads. A telepath can still sense you are there, but not your thoughts. The second is completely hidden. The astral plane is uninterrupted. Unless I physically meet the person, I do not know they are there."

"And this Tora?"

"At first I took her to be one of the second type. I couldn't see her at all. And then I found it."

"What?"

"With her, there is a tear in the plane. Absorbing. So miniscule I didn't notice at first. But there is a hole in the universe and it's in her mind."

"What!"

"I don't know Scott. It could simply be those digital chips she mentioned. Or it could be a natural mutation. Either way, this is something new."

"Logan thinks so too. He said she's different from him. I think he likened her scent to that of a cat. It was either a lynx or an ocelot. One or the other."

"Yes. I got the scents from him."

She had heard enough. It was all she could do to stop herself from confronting them. And the words sunk in. Xavier was a mutant. And more than that. He was a telepath. He could read minds. He'd obviously been trying to read hers and couldn't. Well that was his problem. She wasn't going to listen to them talk about her anymore. She recalled the steps that creaked as she walked upstairs. When she reached the second landing, she froze. There was someone there. Watching. For how long?

"Impressive jump."

Wolverine. Somehow she thought he wouldn't tell the others about this.

"I heard them talking."

"`Bout you?"

"What do you think?"

She felt, rather than saw his grin.

"Give Scott space. He lost someone he cared a lot about recently."

"How?"

"No one really knows. Her powers got out of control somehow. She spiralled into the darkness and couldn't get out. In the end she died to stop herself from killing him."

"What darkness?"

"You ever feel as though there's something inside you, eating away at you?"

"…No. I am the thing that eats away at myself. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah. That's what it's like for me. Don't reckon anyone else would get that."

She turned to go. There was no reason to hang around. She could feel his eyes burning on her back as she walked away and the beast sang within her.

There is someone like me. I am not alone anymore. Someone who understands.

* * *

><p>There was nothing more than curiosity from the water. That and a faint hope for comradeship. Tora didn't understand love. In all the languages she knew, not a single one had a version of that. Perhaps it would be interesting to see that confrontation from another angle…<p>

* * *

><p>Logan hadn't heard her. He'd been preparing to go on one of his frequent nighttime walks when he'd happened to glance up and see her climbing up onto the railings. He'd withdrawn into the shadows and watched as she'd jumped. The grace with which she'd fallen and landed gave him an idea as to the differences in their "training". He was the assassin, used when you needed mass slaughter. She was the spy, the one in the dark. While he was sent to do the messy jobs, she'd have been sent for the ones that needed to look like an accident or the ones brute-force couldn't get at.<p>

He'd heard Scott and Chuck talking and realized she must have overheard. Poor kid. She was just a kid. It was like that time with Kitty and the Brotherhood only opposite. She had the body of a woman but she moved, talked, smelt like a child. But it wasn't because of time changes. This was because a kid had been messed with. She was more weapon than warrior. He still couldn't quite believe what he had seen. She'd hit out at Sabretooth. Cut him and hurt him. But he hadn't healed. She had taken every one of his hits and he'd bled from hers. He'd still been bleeding when he'd run. All the fights he'd had with Creed and neither of them were ever permanently injured. But this girl was different. She was coming back upstairs and he shrank into the shadows. She stopped. Sniffed the air and Logan cursed. Course she'd be able to smell him. Well he might as well talk. He cast around for something to say.

"Impressive jump."

He watched as tension slid out of her. She turned towards him

"I heard them talking."

"`Bout you?"

"What do you think?"

He grinned. Then was serious.

"Give Scott space. He lost someone he cared a lot about recently."

"How?"

"No one really knows. Her powers got out of control somehow. She spiralled into the darkness and couldn't get out. In the end she died to stop herself from killing him."

"What darkness?"

"You ever feel as though there's something inside you, eating away at you?"

"…No. I am the thing that eats away at myself. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah. That's what it's like for me. Don't reckon anyone else would get that."

She turned to go. She was blunt and to the point. She wasn't the sort to waste words. A loner. And something sounded within him.

There is someone like me. I am not alone anymore. Someone who understands.

* * *

><p>She couldn't help but smile as feeling of responsibility came rushing around her. He wanted to help the girl who hurt deep down. Which was really rather like him. Well, like he'd be shortly. Relatively speaking. Considering life-spans and so on. At the moment he was still throwing up walls around him. It would take a lot to pull them down.<p>

* * *

><p>The light woke her. Tora…that was her name now. She uncurled and stretched, wondering whether she would leave today. It would be hard to. Now she wasn't alone. So many new scents. So many new words and colours and things to do and learn and see. She wanted to know so much. All she had learnt. It was only a fraction of all there was to know. And she wanted to know. She wanted to find out everything. But to begin with she'd find out all she could about the X-Men. She was good at finding out stuff. All it would take is ten minutes alone with a computer. She was good with computers. Computers did what they were told. They were easy to read. Not like people. Some of the X-Men were easy to read. They couldn't hide their stance or scents. Others were better. The best was Wolverine. He kept deliberately changing stance, changing body language when she tried to read him. But to be fair, she was doing the same.<p>

A tentative step out of the room. It was quiet. There was no one on this floor. They were all downstairs. She then had to decide the conventional route and the quick way. In the end she walked. It was easier to explain than dropping out of the sky. And she didn't want to be asked questions. She wanted to be the one who asked them.

They looked up when she entered. Half of them smiled openly. The others tried to. But she could tell it wasn't a real smile. Of course they were nervous around her. They knew less about her than anyone else they offered their home to. Xavier would simply read their mind for their intentions. But her…she was different. Unreadable and therefore a wildcard. An uncertainty. She liked the idea of being an uncertainty. She been so uncertain and now she was sure. It was everyone else who didn't know. In a rare moment of thankfulness she smiled as she remembered the difficult times spent learning to read a persons body language. The teacher had been a curt old soldier. He'd spent hours drumming the knowledge into her. And when she'd finally managed to read him, through all the layers of subtle poses designed to confuse her he'd smiled slightly and never came back. But not before she'd overheard him talking to the Professor.

"Best pupil I ever taught."

She'd felt so embarrassed. He'd never given her any hint he had been pleased at her. And she'd not seen it. She was good but she'd realized then he hadn't taught her **all **his tricks. From then on, she'd watched her tutors carefully. Gradually, without any of them realizing it, she learnt to see what they didn't tell her. Watched her fencing tutor and learnt how he always disarmed her. Watched her martial arts tutor and realized exactly where to apply pressure to cause your opponent to collapse. Noticed how the firearms master always used a gun with a slightly skewed barrel, to throw her shot off. They were all cheating and when she learnt their tricks she soon surpassed them. They'd all left, echoing the sentiment that her first teacher to leave had.

"Best pupil I ever taught."

The words from around the table dragged her back to reality. She hadn't realized they'd been calling her by her new name. The name she'd… rather embarrassingly… forgotten.

"Tora, are you alright?"

"I am just thinking. Remembering something I was once told."

She noticed the worried glances between Scott and Xavier. If they had guessed… But they wouldn't. Not unless Wolverine told them. Logan didn't strike her as his real name. It was like hers. One name. The others all had two. But she only had one and so did he. But if he was like her… No. He'd lived outside. That much was clear. He spoke with slang, something she still couldn't get her head around, no matter how often her teachers had tried to explain you sounded like a foreigner if you spoke with the proper grammar. She hadn't got that. Why would people not speak properly? Once more she noticed they were all looking at her.

"I am sorry. I cannot help but remember my past."

Once more, nervous glances. Logan was the only one that looked at her.

"I know it's hard for ya to adjust. With me it took years. Still am if you want the truth."

She shrugged. She didn't really care about adjusting. All she had noticed was the fear when she had mentioned her past. She decided to make them uneasy.

"If you don't want me to talk about it, I won't. I heard it is hard to hear about another's suffering."

She hit home there. They looked guilty. She had read them all correctly. They feared her but they feared what had been done to her more. They couldn't begin to comprehend her suffering so they tried to ignore it, pretend it hadn't happened. There was nobody there who would begin to understand the pain. The hurt and beatings. Oh, they had told her on the flight here. Kurt had almost been beaten to death in Germany because of his appearance. But that had only been one time. It had been every single day. No reprieve. And the physical signs had faded, leaving only the memory and the nerves. For weeks after the first beating she'd flinched whenever a guard had moved too suddenly. She was dreaming again. Why couldn't she stay in the present?

"We were planning to have a training session after breakfast. If you would like to watch, then we could see the extent of your mutation…if that is what you want."

She shrugged again.

"I have a better idea. Do you have a computer anywhere?"

"Yes. Why?"

"I copied my files. I can give you the articles on my abilities."

"I would prefer to see them myself. Where did you copy them too?"

"My head."

Once more the nervous glances.

"I don't forget anything. They saw to that. Every little detail I notice is recorded and placed on the chips."

"How much memory do you have?"

"You mean how much backing storage. Memory isn't that good. I don't really know. I've never reached the upper limits. Oh, and would I be able to train? I haven't had a proper training session since Creed took over six years ago. I did enjoy them."

Logan…it was easier to give him a name, even if it wasn't his real one, seemed worried about something.

"Six years with Creed. What did he do to you?"

So he definitely had a past with Sabretooth.

"Tried to make me fight him. When I wouldn't he beat me and later cut. Once he'd hurt me he'd throw me back into the cage. Sometimes he'd forget to chain me. But once I'd been hurt, he'd forget about me."

"Never anything other than beatings?"

"He used to say stuff that I didn't understand but I got used to ignoring it."

He didn't exactly relax but his shoulders lost some of their tension. What else could Creed have done to her that made him so nervous?

* * *

><p>Naïve. The girl without a clue in the world. Of course it wasn't her fault. She had enough drugs to prevent her from gaining the unfortunate scent and Creed had kept them up, partially because it was easier to control her but mainly because the needles were so deadly looking. The poor woman would be in for a shock soon. She wasn't really a woman. She was stuck at an earlier stage, drugs preventing her from developing. But it would be interesting to see how she reacted to the training.<p> 


	6. Adjusting

**Memories**

Adjusting

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

She sat beside the Professor, watching them fight, working together to beat the room. It looked ludicrously simple. But perhaps that was part of the challenge. There would be a catch. And there it was. The razor wings leaving the wall. This was what she was meant to be doing. She looked over.

"You are fine with me training?"

He nodded, absorbed in his wards progress. Tora glanced down at the clothes he had offered her. It looked like the costume Kitty was wearing. Xavier had given it to her. She quietly went to change and prepare herself for the challenge. She realized she was looking forward to it.

"Is that what I have become? Someone who needs to fight to feel alive?"

But she hadn't really been living. Never had. Never would. Not since… Stop it, stop it. Don't think about that. You'll just upset yourself. Concentrate. Once you're in the room you'll be fine…

More than fine actually. She dodged and laughed. It was too easy. No lasers. No surprise attacks. Just a simple gauntlet. As she began to enjoy herself for the first time in years, the X-Men watched from above.

"Logan, this woman is almost as good as you."

Wolverine just grunted in response, slightly annoyed that they were making assumptions already.

"Now that's not fair," he chided himself. "You were saying the same thing last night."

It wasn't the hardest setting but it wasn't the easiest either. She…Was she **laughing**? Brilliant. They open their home to someone who gets a kick out of fighting. But then they realized she wasn't trying to destroy the robot. She was dancing around it, dodging the blasts. No attack. Just defence and avoidance. Suddenly, as swiftly as she had been dodging, her claws were out and the robot collapsed. There was something about the sudden change. It was like she had been fighting in one style and when the robot had worked out that she had changed as quickly as she could. That was definitely a new one.

Scott was looking hard at her. He tried to decide what made it obvious she was a mutant. It wasn't the black strip in the wild reddish-gold hair, a shade lighter than…no don't think of Jean, or the golden eyes with the oval pupils. It wasn't even the stare that bore into you or the way she scented the air every few seconds. It was more the overall look and body language. She had a look that reminded him of Logan. She was feral. But was this woman the same as they had taken out of the cage yesterday? She was too healthy. No one, not even Logan…well perhaps Logan…would be so full of life after starvation. Just as that thought passed through his mind she collapsed.

* * *

><p>Always overdoing things. The woman couldn't help but laugh. Every single time in her life, Tora would do this. She'd be half starved or recovering from torture or just plain exhausted. And then she'd go and exert herself. Of course she took longer to tire. Could go for days. But she wasn't indestructible. She was so child like when it came to this. She'd stick her hand in the flames and then think if she did it again it wouldn't hurt. Of course she'd eventually learn. The important word in that sentence being eventually.<p>

* * *

><p>Tora woke, the darkness clearing away. Stupid. Blacking out like that. She was still in the training room. It looked so <strong>weak <strong>collapsing. Kurt was leaning over her and she got up quickly before he could offer her a hand. She didn't need help. She probably shouldn't be straining herself so soon but if there was one thing she'd learned in Creed's _care_ it was that she hated sitting still and not being able to get her angst out of her system. That and the fact Creed was a sadistic freak. But that wasn't exactly top-secret information. What was wrong with her? Those statements weren't like her at all. She could tell they wouldn't allow her back in for a while. She might as well get those tests out of the way.

* * *

><p>She broke contact. Why was she doing this again? Oh yes. Boredom. She'd skip the tests. They were dull and Tora had considered all sorts of ways to liven things up. The only good point had been when Xavier tried to take a series of photographs as her claws extended and they had come up blank. She'd let him stew for a while before offering to switch off the digital scramblers. She'd heard the laughter as Kurt disappeared to tell the others that Xavier had been tricked.<p>

* * *

><p>It had been easier than she expected. He'd just wanted to take an X-Ray of her hands and had swabbed one of her claws at her own suggestion. He had also taken a blood sample but that had been it. While he had been waiting for the machines to produce the results he'd talked to her. Asked her about her abilities. And she couldn't help herself. She'd told him about the way she saw reds that weren't and about the colours of scent. She'd told him about moving in the darkness and the knowledge. Not just the stuff about languages and weapons that were intrusive. But how scents melded and air patterns shifted. How she could feel the slight rise in air pressure before the storm. She told him how she could hear a mouse moving in the wall three rooms away. She'd been about to go into how she could see the tiny scratch on the other side of the room when the machine had beeped. He'd reached over and pulled the printouts over.<p>

"Now Tora, I'm going to tell you what they say and I want to see if you agree."

"Yes Professor."

"You have four telescopic claws stored in your metacarpals?"

"Yes."

"The claws pass through the base of your proximal phalanx, where there is a gap in the bone."

"Yes."

"The claws are hollow and contain glands."

"Yes."

"The glands produce an enzyme that somehow secretes through the adamantium to coat your claws."

"Yes."

"The enzyme produced attacks the mutant healing factor preventing your fast healing."

"Yes."

"Does this only work on yourself?"

"No."

"Thank you for clarifying that." He moved onto the next sheet.

"You have high levels of hormones that increase your pain resistance and also speed up the rate of healing."

"Yes."

"We could probably go faster if you were more elaborate in your answers."

"You told me to tell you if you agreed or not."

"You don't have to reply with monosyllables."

She shrugged.

"Or with gestures. You said you could speak fluent English, Spanish, Japanese and French."

"And lots of other languages. It's just I can also think in those languages."

She faltered, realizing she'd fallen into a trap.

"That was underhand Professor."

"It worked in getting you to speak."

"Can we continue?"

"Of course. You have extreme hormonal imbalance that I would not expect in a woman. Where you ever given drugs in some form that Sabretooth kept up."

"Only one shot. I don't know what it was but it was smelt like Creed and one of your X-Men. Logan."

"Ah. In that case, I think a talk with Ororo may be in order."

"Why?"

"I do not feel as if I should be the one to give you the talk."

She didn't press him. His smell told her he was embarrassed enough at the moment.

"Would you like to continue evaluating me? This is very interesting. Your methods are very different to the ones I am used to."

He shifted in his chair, trying to find his place in the sheets before settling.

"You're adapted to living in outdoor conditions."

"I would not know. I have only been outside twice in my life. Once was yesterday."

"However, while Logan is adapted for an Artic climate, I think you are adapted to a more temperate climate."

"Would that give you an idea of where I came from?"

"Your adaptation seems to be for a climate with short mild summers and long middling winters."

"Would that give me any insight into my past…my…family?"

"Unfortunately Tora I cannot say."

"Thank you Professor. May I go now?"

He glance round and saw she was sitting deathly still. Very different from the numerous small movements she had been making through the entire questioning. The stillness of a cat just before it leaps. She obviously didn't like talking. Or perhaps all she wanted was that last sentence. About her family.

"You may leave."

She leapt up, the stillness evaporating as she dived towards the door.

"Tora!"

She stopped, frozen in mid-step. It would have been comical if he hadn't realized she was terrified about the punishment she would receive if she hadn't stopped.

"Perhaps Kitty can take you to get some clothes. You cannot live in the X-Men uniform and Ororo's clothes are too large for you. You could also possibly get a haircut."

She nodded then shot out of the door. He should have realized. This room was like the ones she was used to. She'd been trying to ignore it but she didn't want to spend too long there. What had they done to this girl that made her so confused? At one moment she'd be confident and calm and the next she was a cowering wreck. He quickly contacted Storm and told her all she needed to do. Let's hope that she wouldn't be too embarrassed.

* * *

><p>She was always going to be like that. Slowly, the nervous spells would decrease but it would always be there. The fear. Anything could trigger the paralysing attacks that left her like a rabbit in the headlights. But nothing would scare her more than what was to happen that afternoon.<p> 


	7. Choices

**Memories**

Choices

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Kitty was sulking. If only she hadn't looked so shocked at the choice of clothes she had picked out. But there wasn't a chance she was wearing those clothes. She'd pulled her out of the shop and wandered the streets, catching scents, wanting to follow them up. Finally Kitty had seen sense and taken her into a shop where the clothes looked and smelt well made. The stitching was strong and there wasn't one of those long skirts that she'd been wearing out of necessity in the shop. She'd felt bad about using Xavier's money but he'd told her she couldn't be expected to have any. She'd tried to explain she couldn't repay the debt and once again he'd waved aside her objections. Tora had a moments panic when it came to actually buying the clothes but Kitty had been wonderful. She'd only started getting annoyed when Tora had started a low growl in her throat as a man had passed. Kitty had dragged her past but when she'd finally found a public toilet in which to yell at Tora, she was a wreck, shivering and scared.

"Know him. He's one of them. One of the guards. He used to hurt me and laugh. He…he was the worst."

Kitty had offered all sorts of help but Tora had brushed them off, fear making her curt. Kitty had taken offence and was now sulking. Tora hadn't a clue on how to deal with her and they'd gone back to the mansion in silence. Only when she returned did she realize she was supposed to have had a haircut. Luckily, she didn't need scissors. Sure, the fringe was a little wavy but at least her hair had a definite shape again. She'd just cut it straight across. Anything else and she'd risk a severed ear. But at least there were some clothes that she wouldn't trip over the skirts of. As if she'd wear a skirt.

* * *

><p>That would remain the same. She'd never agree to wearing a skirt, dress or any other clothes that restricted her fighting ability. It was really rather amusing. The number of times she'd get in trouble for that. There was that charity event that Stark had wanted a mutant to give a talk on their rights and she'd turned up in her usual outfit. She'd been turned away three times before anyone realised that the woman in jeans and a long-sleeve shirt was the mutant lecturer.<p>

* * *

><p>Scott sat tense in the corner. Kitty had locked herself in her room after the shopping trip and Peter had spent the last half-hour trying to get her downstairs. And Tora was nowhere to be seen although Ororo had found her clothes neatly folded outside her door. When Peter had came down all he had to say was that Tora had seen an old guard in town and panicked, upsetting Kitty.<p>

"It couldn't have been a mistake, could it?"

"Nah. She'll remember the scent of anyone who hurt her. That's if they didn't mess around with her memory like they did mine, but Chuck says they didn't."

"Would she panic if she saw them again?"

"Scott, just think about what you said. Would you panic if one of the men who tortured you when you were a kid and helped turn you into a weapon went past you in the street?"

"Excuse me."

He turned and looked. She was standing quietly in the corner of the room…how had she got there? She'd managed to get her haircut and instead of the wild mane, there was an obvious fringe, straight across the forehead, shading the eyes. Her hair hung long and straight down over her shoulders. She sure looked better than she had in Ororo's clothes. Skirts didn't suit her. It was almost funny. She was wearing trousers and a checked shirt that looked as though they came out of Logan's wardrobe. She wouldn't…no the shirt was a woman's.

"I am sorry about Kitty. I was…afraid and she offered to ring you but I snapped at her. And I told her I didn't like the clothes she had picked out for me."

Ah. Not the best of trips then.

* * *

><p>She remembered that. The love-hate relationship with clothes shopping. She couldn't spend more than ten minutes in a clothes shop before she got edgy and started looking for assassins in the kids section. But put her in a bookstore and she'd be there from dawn to dusk. That was one of the things that drew the woman to her. She would spend a week in pursuit of one small fact. In fact, she'd do all sorts of stupid things to prove a fact true. Hence two weeks into her stay with the X-Men…<p>

* * *

><p>…She was trying to prove to Kurt that just because he could teleport, he wasn't as fast as her. That was the reason she was diving through the woods, speeding up, leaping over logs. If she could get to the mansion three seconds <strong>under <strong>her previous record then she had won. He wasn't allowed to do it in under four jumps and she knew she could get there first if she wanted to. It just was annoying the snow slowed her down. She'd move faster if she didn't have this stupid scarf getting in the way. Why was she wearing it anyway? Or the gloves? Or the hat? She didn't feel the cold. Not the way the others did. OK then, she felt it but it didn't **bother **her like it did Kitty and Scott. Logan was fine with it and 'Ro didn't feel differences in weather. She assumed that Peter must be acclimatised. Right, the scarf kept getting caught. She left it in the snow. She'd go back for it later. Claws cutting through the brush, she leapt out onto the lawn. Only a few hundred metres to go. Almost there. And suddenly she was hit between the shoulder blades. She turned, ready to fight only to see Kurt and Logan on the edge of the woods. Kurt had thrown some snow and as she watched, Logan threw his, hitting her full in the face. Laughing she scooped up some snow, but being uncertain, simply threw it as it was, so it flurried and swirled, not landing anywhere near either of the men.

"Elf, this ain't a fair fight. Let's say you versus us. Loser buys the beer."

"Until she learns how, then it's us versus her mein Freund."

"Sure Elf."

The fight was swift and unmerciful. As soon as she had been shown how to compact the snow to form a projectile, Logan switched sides and when Tora finally came in, race forgotten, she was soaked to the skin.

It was difficult to believe she was the same person. While she was still slight- the Professor explaining that the adamantium implantation had halted her growth- she was no longer painfully thin. She had lost the paleness of someone who never went outside and she no longer moved as warily. That talk with 'Ro had come in handy as well. Why hadn't the Professor or any of the other staff told her about that? She'd come to like it here. The X-Men were friendly and open and they didn't laugh when she made mistakes like when she assumed that the man who came to sell double-glazing was telling the truth about the insulation properties. It had taken a while to persuade the glazers that they didn't want every window in the manor downgraded to double-glazing from triple glazing.

But a few mistakes aside, she had grown to care for the X-Men. Kitty, with her endless questions and enthusiasm reminded her of Eva. Ororo had helped her through trials and tribulations, protecting her from some of Kurt's more overzealous jokes. Kurt seemed to think that she needed to have water thrown at her every time she walked into a room. Charles- she no longer thought of him as Xavier- had taken to spending time with her to talk about her past. It helped. She unloaded a lot of stuff to him. But not Eva. Somehow she couldn't talk about her. Scott had gradually warmed to her and had been the first to take her side on training. Now she trained separately and also with the X-Men. She'd been the one to start the sparring contest by accident. She hadn't **meant **to say that she thought she could beat Logan. Peter was the one who stuck up for her. He liked the fact she could talk to him in Russian and spent time telling her about his family. Logan was…well Logan was the one who looked out for her. He had given her hints in combat. The man knew more tricks than her old teacher. But what he had that his teacher didn't was **honour**. Until now, all fights had been skewed in Tora's favour. Now she saw the world from her opponents' view. It was…interesting. He'd made her fight him without her claws and in an inhibitor field from which he was shielded. She'd been beaten in a moment. Deep down she knew she had stayed too long, she should move on. But every time she thought that she answered I'll leave soon. Within a few days. I'll go and I won't come back.

* * *

><p>As if. Not a chance of her going. In fact she was about to make a choice that shaped the rest of her life. Should she get the Eye to play it in slow motion? Probably not. It was impressive enough as it was.<p>

* * *

><p>She sat quietly with Charles as he explained the rules of chess to her. The others were on a mission. Nothing dangerous, just surveillance. As she wasn't officially an X-Man she didn't go. She didn't mind. It was at this point Charles discussed her past. He was good at helping her see the way out. He made her think about what had happened. He tried to tell her again and again it wasn't her fault. Easy for him to say. He didn't have his best friend's death hanging over him. She couldn't tall him about Eva. That pain she kept to herself. But the talks still helped. They eased the pain of life. And chess was rather interesting. Strategy mattered. Also, Charles couldn't read her and she could read him. She'd still never beaten him though.<p>

They often sat like that, in silence, waiting for the other to make their move. They rarely spoke except when he asked her if she was certain about a move she had made. It was at this time her guard could drop. Which really wasn't a good idea right now.

The walls suddenly burst in on themselves. Stupid. Let her guard down. She tried to get into a low combat position to leap towards him but an arm like a hammer slammed her across the room and into the opposite wall. Half-stunned she tried to get up only to see Charles knocked out of his chair and their assailant towering over him.

"No!"

She managed to stand upright and then leapt, hoping against hope this man would turn to see her. He did and she managed to punch him in the face before dropping down, grimacing at the fact that this was her first proper fight in the real world and she didn't have a clue about her opponent or his abilities. The man- whoever he was- seemed surprised that the woman he had thrown across the room and who should now be unconscious had just broken his nose.

"Wotcher doin' here? X-Men should be 'way."

She snarled and leapt again, hoping to take him off balance only to be caught around the neck.

"You don talk much. You'll talk less when I've finished."

He twisted his hand, expecting to hear a sickening crack and have this irritating little woman stop getting in the way of his job. Therefore, he wasn't prepared for her to kick out with her dangling foot, hitting home. She hit the floor hard, the bruises around her neck already healing. As the man crouched over, groaning she dived towards Charles, righting his chair and pushing him into it.

"Go."

She turned and once again, the hammer fist slammed into her. But while the first blow had clouded her mind, this one cleared it. The pieces of metal in her head gave her the information she needed. They broke down the man into sections, giving her all the stuff she knew about him in bitesized chucks.

He's strong. Hits like Peter.

He isn't a mutant. You can smell mutants.

His powers are tech-based.

That wire on the right arm. That's the wire you need.

She considered, then decided. She moved as though she had been injured, dragging her left arm.

"You ain't gonna last much longer witch. I'll kill ya if it's the last thing I do."

"I could arrange that."

"Ya talk alright. Ain't heard anyone that proper since…Well I ain't never heard anyone talk so proper in my life. Now step aside and lemme get to Xavier and I'll not hurt ya. I'll just kill ya."

"People have tried, believe me. None have succeeded. I am good at surviving. And I cannot allow you to hurt Charles."

"Yar wings clipped. Ya'll not last long."

With that he stepped closer, towing over the slight woman who looked preposterously small in comparison.

"As a matter of fact, I'm not."

She leapt, going straight for the face, nails clawing at his eyes. Damn Logan and his honour code. She was going to win this fight. This man would kill Charles and Logan wasn't here to stop it. Fingers caught the wire and she tugged, pulling it out of place. She landed and spun a roundhouse kick, heel landing firmly in the man's stomach. He collapsed and she pinched her fingers at the base of the nerve cluster. The man couldn't move.

"Damn you."

She let the smooth metal slide out of her right hand.

"Yar a mutie!"

"I am a mutant. And now I have a question. Answer it or you'll find how sharp these claws are."

He paled. Charles looked worried. She didn't look at him. If she had to, could she, would she kill him? Let's hope she didn't have to find out.

"Why are you here?"

"I was hired. Kill Charles Xavier. The X-Men would be out of the picture."

"Who hired you?"

"Some mutie. Don't know his name. All I know, the cash was there and it wasn't fake."

She snarled and then hit him between the eyes…with her left hand. He collapsed, unconscious and she looked round to see Charles.

"Tora. Thank you."

She smiled, a light sparkling in her eyes.

"Where shall I put him?"

"I'll ring the police."

"Charles…"

"Yes?"

"I was wondering… Would you allow me to stay? To become an X-Man?"

"Child, I would like nothing better."

She bent over to drag the man out of the room and then turned, pointing to the broken chessboard.

"I was winning that game."

* * *

><p>She had decided. She wouldn't regret that decision. Even when she saw the world die, Tora would never once disagree with that impulsive moment after saving Xavier's life. The woman with no family now had one.<p> 


	8. X Man

**Memories**

X-Man

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Logan was exhausted. It had been a false trail and he'd not slept. As he walked into the living room, he gaped.

"What happened?"

The outer wall was covered in a tarp and the opposite wall had a huge dent in it, like someone had been thrown across the room.

"Charles."

"I am here Logan."

The other X-Men entered the room.

"_Mein Gott. Vas_…?"

"We were attacked tonight."

"Where's Tora?"

If something had happened to her… She was so unsure. Just a kid really.

"I think she went to bed."

"What?"

"She said something about fighting murderous maniacs making her feel tired."

"WHAT?"

"Suffice to say, I would not have survived tonight without her."

He took the stairs three at a time, the other X-Men following. When he got there, Kitty stuck her head out of the door. She'd obviously gone straight up.

"She's not there!"

They dived through the door. The windows were open and the bed unslept in.

"Where is she?"

He sniffed. Then grinned.

"Shh. She's still here."

"Where?"

Still grinning he went over to the bed and pull up the heavy quilt. Curled up cat-like under the wooden slats, Tora slept.

"Didn't think she slept in the bed."

* * *

><p>Old habits die hard. After the first night when she'd tried and failed to sleep on the bed she'd found that under it was comfortable enough and darker. It was easier to stay with her own methods of sleep. She'd sunk into the mattress and decided the floor was a better option.<p>

* * *

><p>It was dark. The room seemed empty. Typical. First real mission with the X-Men and she managed to get herself captured. OK, the others were captured as well. But not the most auspicious start to a career. But the chains. Wait. They weren't too strong. She twisted her arms, hoping against hope. There. Claws free, now to break the chains. It didn't take long. The idiots had used steel. Steel didn't hold her. She massaged her wrists, getting the feeling back in her hands. Then she walked to the door and slid the smooth metal claws down the sides, cutting neatly though the hinges. She stood back, letting the door fall towards her. Now to bust the others out. She calmed down. Slowed her breathing until her heartbeat slowed to a steady pace. No need to panic. Scent. Logan was two doors on her right. He'd be the best in this situation. But Scott was leader. Finally she chose Logan. It was easier. Claws gently edging up the sides of the door. The door fell in, almost crushing a now unchained Logan.<p>

"Beat me to it."

She laughed.

"Help me get Scott out."

"Why don't we leave him?"

"Tempting. But I have an idea. You get Kurt and Peter. I'll get Scott and 'Ro."

"I still can't see why we have to rescue him."

She ran down the corridor, scenting the air. There. Scott. The claw approach again. Once she was in, it was a moment's work to shatter the metal visor that stopped him from firing his optic blasts.

"Good work Tora."

Under the mask she blushed. She wasn't used to being complimented. She'd gone for an almost full-face mask, leaving only her mouth and lower nose uncovered. She'd also insisted on the solid piece of burnished black metal that acted as protection to her nose and around the eyes and jawbone, as well as pinning her hair back. She'd done a single drawing and that had been it. Uniform awarded. She hadn't wanted talks. She'd just wanted to be in the field. Who cared if she wore yellow and red or orange with black stripes. All that mattered was she helping her friends- because they were friends- fight for what they believed in. Now to rescue Storm. When she got there, she realized what they'd done. She was in a tiny space. She knew about Ororo's claustrophobia. How could she not? It was something she in part shared. She preferred the outdoors. But if she was out there and found a small cranny, she felt safe in it. That's why she still didn't sleep in the bed. She liked the area under it. It was safe and small and warm. So all she could do was hold Ororo close, whisper words of comfort until she stopped shaking. Then they had fought. Fought for their lives. And she had loved it. Every second. The adrenalin rushed, giving her reflexes, already fast, a boost. There wasn't fear there. Just enjoyment and the thrill of fighting.

They turned to leave. Scott glanced at her.

"Good work…Tigress."

* * *

><p>The name had just been there. Like the name she now took as her own. Tora. Tiger. With her red and black hair, golden eyes and graceful claws, it was who she had become. The claws. Thin. Thinner than Logan's. A full three inches shorter. But she'd soon learn that fighting wasn't the thrill she thought it was.<p>

* * *

><p>She could see why Logan had wanted to bring her here. He'd said she hadn't lived until she'd seen a Noh performance. He'd tried to get the others to come but they wouldn't. Kurt had a date with Amanda, Charles had work to do, Scott didn't want to go anywhere with Logan, 'Roro was doing <strong>something <strong>in her attic that meant water was coming through the ceiling again and Peter and Kitty just didn't want to go out. So it had just been her and Logan. She now knew the word that she felt about him. He was like a father. Overprotective, watching out for her. Dragging her off to see performances. But he'd been right this time. She'd loved every minute of it. Now they were leaving. The good point of there only being two of them was that they were able to travel on the bike. She didn't like the cars. They enclosed her, but not safe enclosure. Cage enclosure. The bike gave her a freedom not usually allowed. Logan still wouldn't let her drive though. Fine, she didn't have a license but she could drive. She was trying to get a license but she couldn't. Not with only one name and no proper ID. How had Logan managed it? But then he'd had a past before hand. He just couldn't remember it. She moved towards the bike outside, so intent on hearing about other plays Logan had seen, guard down as it rarely was, she didn't see the garbage truck coming. The first thing she knew was Logan trying to push her out the way and then the gas filling her lungs and blackness swirling as she reached out and caught his hand and he tried to tell her she'd be fine, that she'd be out soon. But the confinement terrified her. She was meant for the wilderness, not a dark space. Chains were her greatest fear. And they were chaining her with sleep.

* * *

><p>That was very like her. Her whole life she'd want, need freedom. The freedom the X-Men gave her was an example of that. She was wild at heart, needing freedom like an animal does. Some animals can't survive in captivity. She was one of those. To thrive she needed space and room to roam. She'd survived as a child because she didn't know anything else. Now she breathed freedom.<p> 


	9. Doubts

**Memories**

Doubts

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Her sense of smell was the first to return to her. Amanda was there. Please no! Not Kurt! Where were the X-Men? They wouldn't have killed them and left her alive. Please no!

Then her hearing returned slowly but surely.

"Course you already know the rules of Murderworld. Play to live. Live to play."

She could feel again. She was in a box of some sort. It pinioned her arms. But with enough force she could tear her way out. But not without her sight.

Gradually the darkness blurred out. She was in a control room. A man with red hair and a ridiculous bow tie was watching screens of her friends fighting for their lives. A slight turn of the head and she could see Amanda, all done up like a present. Was that what she was in? Oh no. There was a bow and everything. Who was this madman?

"Ah darlin' you're awake. Didn't think anyone who took that 'mount o gas would be alive, let alone awake. So what's a lovely lady like you doing with a madman like Wolvie?"

"He isn't a madman. If anyone here is insane, it's you."

"Aw and we haven't even be introduced."

She snarled, lips curling back to reveal her sharp canines. It was an impressive threat, made even more so when the low growl from the back of her throat resonated around the room.

"Looks like Wolvie's been teaching you some tricks."

"If my hands were free, you'd not have enough breath to insult Logan."

He laughed and turned away, already bored with insulting her. She tensed then relaxed, allowing the claws to slid out of her hands and then swiftly ripped up, tearing herself free. The man turned and collapsed as she hit him. She moved swiftly, freeing Amanda and giving a quick smile to alleviate her fear. And then she felt something hit her between the shoulders. She turned and saw a woman holding a dart gun. Tranquillizers. Good thing they didn't work too well on her. She advanced, only to be hit again. She staggered but managed to remain upright. The third caused her to collapse but she still tried to crawl towards the woman. The fourth hit her but she didn't feel it. There was only the darkness clouding her mind. In her head she screamed. She was needed. The X-Men needed her. In reality she collapsed without a sound.

* * *

><p>Of course she couldn't make a sound. She'd just been given enough tranquillizers to subdue a herd of rampaging elephants. She'd be groggy for days. If she survived the next few minutes.<p>

* * *

><p>There was nothing she could do. She had been changed into costume. Why would he do that? Unless…Unless he wanted her to fight her way out. But where? There was a corridor but the room was lined with mirrors. There was only one exit. That meant it was a trap. She turned to see a crazy figure of herself. She was still woozy from the sedative. Couldn't think straight. She was hit in the face by the doppelganger. The wound healed. Whoever this character was, it didn't have healing halters. And it didn't have a scent. Robot. Good. That meant she could destroy it. She slammed the robot hard, tearing through delicate circuitry. And then she heard the other noises and turned. Lots of hers. She was too tired to move fast and was soon surrounded. Rough hands pushed her down and she felt a single glassy claw at the base of her skull. She didn't know if she'd heal a direct injury to the brain.<p>

Why? The question screamed. She had so much to learn. Why? Why did she have to die when she'd just become free? She didn't try to fight. She couldn't. Her limbs were like lead. She bowed her head. Calm swept through her. If she was going to die, it may as well be quick. She stopped the ineffective struggling. No pain. The sedative would see to that. Odd. She'd survived all Creed had thrown at her, managed to live with metal in her bones. And now she was going to die without a fight in a corridor of mirrors, surrounded by distorted robot versions of herself.

Nothing. No emotions. No light. Just darkness. And then a voice.

"Do you realize you're a lot heavier than you look?"

"K…Kitty?"

"You **so **owe me. Those bots were about to cut your head off."

"Shouldn't have…"

"Shouldn't have rescued you? Tora, what are you talking about?"

"Not good enough. Second best. Have to be best."

She didn't hear Kitty's answer.

* * *

><p>Why? That would be a question that would resonate for Tora's life. Why? Why did they do that to me? Why did I let them do it? Why do people fear me? Why am I what I am?<p>

* * *

><p>She sat in the melting snow, letting the cold move through her. Her limbs were freezing. She knew she wouldn't get frostbite. Sitting in silence in the woods. Allowing the drugs time to get out of her system. She had no worth. No meaning. She'd failed. Kitty should have left her to die. She'd rescued the hostage instead of taking out the hostiles. Basic mistake number 21. She should be more responsible than that. She could hear Logan coming. Should she hide?<p>

"Kid, you're wearing shorts!"

"And…?"

"I know you feel you're invincible but…"

"I know I'm not invincible. Today proved that. I'm useless."

"No…"

"Don't deny it."

"You made a mistake…"

"I'm not meant to make mistakes. I'm supposed to be better than Weapon X."

Silence. She looked round. He was stock-still.

"Who?"

"Some Weapon Plus Project. They lost their precious Weapon X. I was the next step. A weapon fully controllable. Been in their control all **it's** life and so mouldable. No memories of a past. Beats me how they knew I was the right mutant."

"I used to be part of Weapon X."

That statement, so softly given changed everything.

"What was your number?"

"Doesn't matter. That's all in the past."

"I hate him you know."

"Who?"

"The original. If he hadn't done what they wanted, if he'd had a shred of humanity, they'd have left the rest of us alone."

"You can't be sure."

"Yes I can. I was trained to **be **him. I know all there is to know about him."

"Tora…"

"Can you just give me some time alone?"

"If you do this to yourself every time you make a mistake, then they won."

She could hear him walking as if to go back.

"Logan…"

* * *

><p>They still had a hold on her. She was scared and insecure. She'd never find the balance if she let them hold onto her, let their legacy rule her fear.<p>

* * *

><p>She moved silently through the woods, hunting and being hunted. It was cold and dark and she really shouldn't be out here. It <strong>had <strong>been fun breaking out of the manor though. She tensed then leapt, landing gracefully in a tree. Logan walked under the tree and she grinned. Gotcha.

She leapt neatly, landing silently behind him. She moved in, ready to fight. And her boot caught on a branch which grated along a rock. Logan turned and snarled. She managed to dodge the first blow and extended her claws. They danced around each other, neither wanting to risk a move that could result is injury. Then she flipped forward and rammed her fist forward, claws touching his throat. Then she glanced down and saw his claws over her heart. She looked back, to the cowl behind which she knew Logan would be smiling grimly.

"Stalemate?"

He laughed at that.

"Sure. Kid, you're good. Didn't smell you at all. How did you cover your scent?"

"Take my word that you don't want to know."

He sniffed then gagged.

"You didn't have to go **that **far."

"I should probably go to get a shower."

The two walked back up to the mansion, Logan upwind.

The door was unlocked and they were laughing as they walking it. Only to stop when they realized that Scott had just come out of the kitchen and was staring at them. Suddenly Logan was conscious of the filth Tora had plastered on her hair and costume to hide her scent. It would be so easy for Slim to misinterpret the fact they were returning to the house after midnight, having not mentioned going out, especially with Tora's slightly bedraggled appearance. She was totally oblivious to what could be read into appearances. She saw him as a friend, nothing more. But would she see him as a friend if she knew he was the original Weapon X. Probably not. She saw things in black and white. Friend or foe. Fight or flight. Me or them. It was how an animal saw things. She had things easy. To her there was truth or mistakes, not lies. She had placed everything she saw into good and bad and wouldn't waver from what she saw. He'd got that from much from her stance. But then it was guarded. For all he knew she could be hiding behind layers upon layer of posture. No hint of thoughts would glow for a moment in her eyes.

She already bounded up the steps and he got another nosefull of the stuff she'd used to cover her scent. And he was left to try and explain to Scott what he'd been doing in the middle of the night with the new X-Man.

Of course she saw things in black and white. She didn't know better. Her life had always been those who were kind to her and those who tried to hurt her. She not yet met someone who she liked that would hurt her. She'd not found the people who hated her but would save her. And so she still hadn't become human. Oh, she was nearly there but it would take a lot more to cause her to move the last few feet and finally feel as a human did. With all the shades of grey and the complexities of right and wrong.

She had managed to get all the muck out of her hair but now the shower was filthy. She'd clean it tomorrow…today. It was early and she could do with some sleep. For the first time since she arrived she collapsed on the bed instead of underneath. And she slept.

_She was screaming as Creed and Robson moved in on her, needles and claws glinting. She felt pure pain and then looked over and saw the other X-Men chained. All of them? No. Logan was there, unchained, snarling, hair long and ferocious. His claws were out and he was guarding the X-Men. Then Creed, Robson and the X-Men faded away and she was left with Logan. And his claws dug deep into her stomach and she didn't heal._

There were arms around her now and whispers.

"Hush. Hush. It's just a dream. A nightmare. It's not real."

'Ro.

"It was. I was there. You were too. Logan… He was dangerous. Worse than Creed. Please…"

She felt Storm stiffen as she mentioned Logan's name and managed to get loose. It was then she saw what she had done. The room was wrecked. She'd thrown stuff and the sheets and mattress were shredded. The windows had been smashed when she'd thrown the collar. Logan had cut it out shortly after her arrival and for a reason she wasn't quite sure of she'd kept it.

"Please 'Ro. Help me. Help me out of this."

Every night. Every night she woke screaming in the darkness. But all it had been before were memories and she could handle them. She'd lived through them once. Twice wasn't too hard. But this one was different. This one left her shaking and gabbling, clinging to Ororo like a baby. Why? Why now?

* * *

><p>It was the first time she had dreamed. Before they were simply memories. But now she was almost there. Few more steps and she'd be there. A human, plain and simple. Not a weapon, not an animal. A person, full and complete.<p>

* * *

><p>Ororo hadn't mentioned the nightmare. Tora made her promise. They'd cleaned up and she'd managed to get 'Ro to leave and then she'd sat in fear the rest of the night, not daring to close her eyes. She'd not been able to sleep. At least she always woke early so she didn't have to sit in the silent room for too long. As soon as she heard the grandfather clock downstairs strike six she'd leapt off the bed and dressed in her uniform. Long sleeves and gloves, black and orange. It was designed to put the opponent off, sharp lines leading away from the vital areas and leading to the shoulders and arms. Stripes of black on the orange suit, orange on the black gloves and boots. Finally she reached out and pulled the cloth mask over her face before brushing the burnished metal of the black headdress. A moment's hesitation and then she raised it to her face, feeling it clamp into place, down the nose and round the eyes, then down the jawbone to the sides of her mouth. It was stylised, shaped like a child's drawing of a tiger's stripes but it kept her other mask in place. Her design hadn't included it but when she'd opened the package it had been on top, empty eye sockets staring up at her. Something about it had intrigued her and she'd put it on and worn it. No one had noticed.<p>

She knew what she was doing. Sure, she wasn't **meant **to go on a combat workout when everyone else was asleep but she found combat cleared her head. She walked the first flight of stair and then jumped the rest. She did this often. It wasn't hard to program the Room. The memory of the runs were wiped so as long as she wasn't caught in the act it would be fine. She entered the control room and programmed a sequence. Then ran as quickly as she could around the house to get to the door. She entered just as the program started and she danced and dodged. All she had to do was hit the button on the opposite side of the room. She felt a razor wing slice her neck but the blood flow soon stopped. She slowed down, taking her time to traverse the room, enjoying the rush that came with a fight. Then she reached out and lazily pressed the button. Everything stopped. In the silence only found after lots of loud noise, she relaxed, letting the tension slide out of her.

"Ahem."

Charles was in the control room. How long had he been there? She waved, hoping he wouldn't be annoyed.

"Good morning."

"What have I told you about running Danger Room sessions unobserved?"

She concentrated and then a voice eerily like Xavier's filled the room.

"The Danger Room should **only **be used when supervised. If you were injured then there would be no one to help you. Would you like me to continue?"

"How did you learn to do that?"

"What?"

"Impersonate my voice."

"Oh, impersonations are easy. I can be from anywhere Senor. You see Herr Xavier, I can not only speak languages but I can imitate any accent."

Throughout this statement her voice had changed, flipping from a slight Italian accent to heavy German. Then she turned and left the Danger Room leaving Charles to silent introspection.

* * *

><p>She grew to enjoy doing that. Walking off in the middle of a conversation simply because she didn't see a point in continuing it. It drove people up the wall, round the bend and down the plughole. But if she saw a topic had reached the end of what she wanted to talk about she'd leave. She didn't like it when people tried to change the topic to cover up. So she came across as blunt and slightly tactless. The woman smiled. That's what Tora wanted.<p> 


	10. Coffee

**Memories**

Adjusting

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

She sat there in the kitchen drinking the coffee she had made herself. She **really **liked this stuff. The first time they'd given her some she'd sat there for ages just enjoying the scent. Kitty had to remind her it was a drink and she was supposed to ingest it. She blushed and gulped it down, burning her throat. And then gasped and went to get another cup. After she went back for the third, Scott had stopped her and told her that she'd get addicted to caffeine if she carried on. He didn't see why she burst into fits of laughter until she explained her body flushed out drugs almost as soon as they entered her system. They'd asked her how she knew. And she'd gone back to the time when she was thirteen and they decided to see how good her immune system was at flushing out foreign contaminants. They'd started small with the Class-C drugs, increasing the dosage and monitoring her responses. And they'd worked their way up to the Class-A drugs. To begin with they affected her. The hallucinations were terrible. Because they didn't affect her the way they apparently affected everyone else. Instead her immune system went into overdrive and completely took over and she lost all knowledge of where she was, **who **she was. And when you have so little, memories mean a lot to you. Then they stopped. All the hallucinations and pain stopped. So they declared the test a success and moved onto radiation.

When she'd finished telling them, she had started to shake and the others had just looked horrified. They did that a lot. And then they'd asked if she wanted to cry. And she'd turned round and told them she hadn't cried since she was six years old. That crying was a weakness. And Charles had looked her in the eyes and told her crying wasn't a weakness. It was a gift. And then she told them why she couldn't cry. They'd torn out her tear ducts. When she'd got her powers they grew back but she couldn't remember how to cry. That shocked them more than the explanation of the drugs tests. She didn't understand them at times. But she shuddered when she remembered the radiation tests. That had been the closest she ever came to dying. They hadn't realized those tests they'd done when she was a little kid made her immune system sluggish when it came to radiation. They had only realized something was wrong when she had stopped screaming and just curled up and pressed her hand to her head. She would have done it too. But they stopped and burst in all armoured up, not realizing she was too sick to move, let alone kill anyone. They'd stopped the experiments for a while then. She didn't really remember. She'd been too ill, too wrapped up in the desperate attempts to save the multi-million dollar weapon from dying. They hadn't been interested in her life. It was only the money that had been spent on her they cared about. But she hadn't told them about that. She didn't want them to pity her even more. Oh, she'd seen the looks on their faces. Pity. She didn't want pity. She wanted them to forget about it all, act as though they hadn't happened. It worked for her. She blanked it all out, aside from the annoying buzzing in her skull as the computers turned everything she saw into a weapon and recorded every piece of information she gathered. At times she wanted to tear them out but she couldn't. The metal skull saw to that. A scent was entering the room now.

"Logan."

"I'm not used to people knowing who I am before I even open my mouth."

"You do it all the time."

She heard him chuckle at that.

"Guess I do. But I hadn't realized how disconcerting it was."

She turned. He wasn't in uniform and he had his hat tucked under one arm.

"Going out?"

"Yeah. I normally like to be alone this day every year."

"Something to do with your past?"

"You could say that."

"Do…do you remember anything? I can't but I was just a child…"

He frowned as if he hoped she hadn't asked that question.

"Not really. A few faces, couple of blurred memories. That's it."

He hurried out, as if he was worried she'd ask more questions. She heard his bike being kick-started and he had left. She busied herself making the coffee for the others, then glanced at the clock and counted to ten. As she finished she caught the scent of brimstone.

"Morning Kurt."

"Fraulin, why are you in your uniform?"

"I'm not all to sure. Coffee?"

"Tora, I could get used to this service."

She smiled and swung the cup round. The sight of Kurt sipping delicately from his cup as he hung upside-down always made her grin. He made her laugh and he enjoyed the protracted conversations they had in German. He finished and then ported over to the sink to clean the cup.

"I thought you weren't supposed to port in the house."

"Ah, but you won't tell on me will you?"

"I might. If you put a bucket of paint on my door again."

"Ah, yes. Pray tell why you only saw fit to enter your room at one thirty in the morning."

"I was training."

"You are always training."

"I don't really know what to do with my time. When I was younger my entire life was scheduled. When I was older, I lost all notion of time."

She rummaged through drawers, trying to find a bread knife. In the end she gave up and simply extended a claw and attacked the loaf. When she turned, Kurt was looking at her claw.

"Does it hurt?"

"What?"

"When you extend your claws. Does it hurt?"

She turned away. Then turned back.

"Have you ever had a skewer pushed into you? Now imagine that, but it's coming from inside you. The skewer's a part of you but it hurts when you push it through the skin."

"I'll take that as a yes."

She glanced down at the claws. They were short, nine inches. Enough for them to fold in on themselves twice. Three three inch sections. Each thinner than the one before. The thickest section no thicker than the narrowest point of her smallest metacarpal. Next to Logan's foot-long claws, twice the thickness, they looked insubstantial. But they were useful. She'd taken to using them when she couldn't find cutlery. The first time Kurt had come down and found her trying- and failing- to eat noodles with her claws, he'd fallen off the ceiling. When she'd explained that he'd forgotten to do the washing up again he'd disappeared pretty fast.

Storm was next in. She glanced at Tora but soon realized that she was fine after the nightmare of the night before. She glanced upstairs.

"Whose turn is it to wake Kitty?"

Tora pointed to Kurt. Kurt pointed to Tora. Then they both glanced upstairs, then at each other and chorused in unison.

"Scott's."

Storm smiled slightly.

"Ah, ganging up on our fearless leader. Do you know where Logan is?"

"He left. At about half six. Said he wanted to spend today alone."

Storm looked slightly surprised at that but then turned to walk away. As a passing remark she completely crushed the hopes of the two others in the room.

"By the way, Scott's out. You'll have to decide who wakes Kitty up."

A swift but brutal fight ensured. Only to stop when Kitty fell through the ceiling fully-dressed.

* * *

><p>The woman relaxed her hold on the Eye. The waters faded, losing the image to become just plain water. She turned her head. She always knew when someone entered the Library. One word was spoken. Her voice was low and soft.<p>

"Thana."

"I wish you wouldn't call me that. It sounds like Thanos."

"You can first. What do you want me to call you? Mort? Death?"

"Death will do. Are you still spending all your time at the Eye?"

"What else can I do?"

The other woman entered into her vision. For a second a cowled skull grinned out at her but that disappeared to show a beautiful black haired, black-eyed woman. She sat next to her friend whose ice mask appeared more expressive than the side of her face still showing.

"Show me."

The woman glanced at Death. Then smiled and reached out to the pool. The images reappeared and then moved.


	11. Birthdays

**Memories**

Adjusting

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Tora was standing on the balcony in her room. For the first time ever, she'd managed to beat Charles at chess. She'd been careful, tried not to sacrifice too many pieces and then given up and just played to win. Charles, so used to having her always using subtly wasn't able to change his strategy quickly enough and it slightly surprised him when she glanced up and murmured, "Checkmate."

He'd smiled and then they'd played again and again and again. By the time they'd finished the last game it was late and neither had noticed time passing. She'd enjoyed it because it was a challenge, something to stretch her mind, whilst he enjoyed playing against someone whose next move was a surprise. He always played white. She played black or red, depending on which chess set they were using. The pieces kept going missing, possibly because when they played they completely blanked out the rest of the world.

An engine stopped her thoughts. Logan was back. But something was wrong. The bike was stuttering and there it was. The smell of blood. No! Please not Logan. Without a second thought she leapt off the balcony landing hard on the gravel drive, the grazes healing quickly. She ran, managing to get to Logan just as he slumped off the bike. She caught him and her hand brushed against blood. He glanced round at her.

"Tora? What yer doing out here?"

"Helping you. I'll get you inside."

Straining against the weight of a man who whilst being smaller than her was a lot stockier she somehow managed to get him inside and upstairs to his room. As soon as she had lowered him onto his bed she ran down to get the First Aid kit. She didn't know if she'd need it but she felt she should at least **try **to stop the blood flow. On an afterthought she also grabbed two of Logan's beers from the fridge. He looked as though he'd need something to dull the pain.

She took the steps upstairs two at a time. She knew he'd heal but that part of her brain wasn't working properly, shoved aside by the part screaming No! No, please not another Eva!

When she got up there the bleeding had definitely lessened. She passed Logan the beer and he looked relieved.

"I want you to play doctor ever time I injure myself."

She shot him a dark look. It was alright for him. He knew what had happened. She didn't. For all she knew the wound could have poison in it. She didn't fully know the extent of his healing. But then a scent made itself plain. Why? Why did it have to be Creed? At least it meant there wasn't any venom in the wound. She bandaged it, just to stop the sheets from being stained worse than they were.

"In the morning, put them in cold water with sodium chloride. It should lift the blood out."

She could tell he didn't understand.

"Salt, you idiot."

"Ah. Wondered what you were going on about."

She hit him with the metal First Aid kit then.

"Why did you do that?"

"Because you're an idiot and you knew when you left this morning this was going to happen to you and you went anyway. And because you went after Creed and didn't let me come to help. And how did you know he'd be coming after you today?"

He shifted uneasily at that. Then looked into the golden eyes that accused and burned.

"Fine. It's…well…every year on the same day he comes after me."

"Why?"

"Because it's the first time he came after me. Because it's his way of reminding me of our past. …It's his way of wishing me a happy birthday."

She wasn't expecting that. She blinked twice and then lowered the intense gaze that dug and bore into people.

"I…I didn't realize."

"It's fine."

Embarrassed she left. Silence reigned. Then Logan pulled out one of his cigars and despite various warnings from Charles, Ororo, Kurt and Peter and death-threats from Scott and Tora, he lit it.

* * *

><p>The dark haired woman laughed as the final thought rose from the pool.<p>

"Did she really hate cigar smoke that much?"

The other woman, the one with the mask of ice, smiled. It was slightly scary. The left side of her face moved but the mask didn't shift in the slightest.

"It was about the scent."

"You would know."

The shorter woman rounded on the raven-haired beauty.

"I haven't smelt anything since I lost that fight. I haven't lived. Haven't had anything. Just one stupid second to live over and over again. Do you realize how **boring **life without change is? It's fine for you. You have your entire afterlife. I've managed to move everything into the Archives in the time it took you to visit me. And I still haven't come to terms with my losses. Understand?"

Death stepped backwards, slightly surprised by the ferocity of the attack.

"Dra…"

"Don't talk to me. If you want to stay to watch you can. But unless you shut up, I want you to leave.

"I'll be quiet."

* * *

><p>She was sitting in her room. Sad. And then she had an idea. She flew around the room, gathering the stuff she needed. Then ran down to the lab. And to the kitchen. It may take a while but she'd manage it. Back to the library. She could read well. It was just writing that slowed her down. But all the stuff she needed was in the book. She spent ages working on it. Then calmed down and glanced around. It was early and no one was down. So she simply got the present and left it outside Logan's door.<p>

* * *

><p>"Erm…"<p>

"You can talk now."

"OK. What did she give him? I got confused."

"I'll switch to his memory of what happened next shall I?"

"If you would."

* * *

><p>When Logan woke the bleeding had stopped. He glanced down and smiled. There wasn't too much blood everywhere. Tora had managed to stop the worst of the blood leaking out of him. By tomorrow there wouldn't be a scar. He opened the door and promptly tripped over a package. It was wrapped simply in brown paper and printed in slow steady letters, as if the person who had written it wasn't too sure around pens was his name.<p>

He looked around but no one was there. Then he shrugged and picked up the box. It was light. There was a clink of glass inside. Hopefully Kurt had brought him that beer he owed him for those fights. He opened it. No beer. Just a few stoppered test tubes, all containing the same colourless liquid. And a note in the same precise printing.

"Put this on your claws next time you fight him. Store at around 37°C. T"

He pulled out the plastic stopper on one and sniffed it. It was that stuff that secreted from her claws. The stuff that halted healing factors. How on Earth had she got this stuff? Unless… Was she harvesting this stuff? Surely she wouldn't remove it from her own body? And why did she mark it in Celsius for Pete's sake?

"Why did she mark it in Celsius?"

"All will be revealed Death. All in good time. All in good time.

* * *

><p><em>A.N. I'll be without an internet connection for three weeks. So I'll not be able to update this story. I'll still be writing though.<em>


	12. Secrets and Scars

**Memories**

Secrets and Scars

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

She was sitting quietly on the bed. Logan would have it by now. Would he be angry she gave him that? It had hurt to remove the fluid but she'd done it. It had been done before. It hurt but it worked. She unsheathed one of her claws. Smooth metal slid into position. And then she leant her head forward so she could see the tiny piece of bone visible in the metal. The place the syringes used to be injected. And she couldn't stop them drawing out the liquid. She knew most was stockpiled but that some was sold to the highest bidder. She shuddered at the thought of people all around the globe having access to that fluid. Then she got up, turned, bared her back and looked at it in the full-length mirror on the wall opposite. The scar tissue was dark, an X running from shoulder to hip. Testament to the potency of metal tempered with heal halters. She moved her hand from smooth skin to knotted scar then shrugged her shirt back on. No use brooding on the past. No use wishing the pain in her back would go away. It never would. It would always be there, deep inside her, a part of her. Like the claws and the chips and the adamantium. Pain defined her. In a way she was pain. But she controlled it. As she finished this train of thought, someone knocked on her door.

"Yes? _Oui? Ja? Da?_"

"Tora, it's Logan."

"Are you angry at me?"

"No. May I…"

"Come in."

He was looking slightly worried about something.

"How did you get that stuff out?"

She showed him a claw. Pointed out the piece of bone.

"They're natural?"

"Yes. I…I remember when I first used them."

"Thanks for that stuff.

"You're welcome."

* * *

><p>Death glanced at the woman.<p>

"I thought Howlett's claws were natural."

"At the time, he thought they had been added in with the adamantium."

"He was always an …interesting… person."

"That he was."

"Do you miss…?"

"What do you think?"

"I have to say, things definitely livened up when he came to my domain."

"As yes. You have the most power now. Only the avatars survived. The end of all things is rather…final."

"I don't understand why the Phoenix and yourself kept your bodies."

"I like having me around."

"Do you realize how odd that sounds?"

"Odd? Excuse me, but don't you realize where we are?"

"OK, I was asking for that one. Can we go back to this? I've never seen this part of her life before. It is…interesting."

The masked woman smiled eerily and reached out towards the water again.

* * *

><p>They were chatting, enjoying the ten-minute breather between the training sessions. Each was having a drink and discussing the new propositions Senator Kelly was supporting.<p>

"We saved his life and now he's trying to get us outlawed."

"Kelly…Kelly…Wait. I know that name!"

"Tora?"

"Robert Kelly, Minister for Weapons Research?"

"I think he held that job for a while…"

She dived towards the computer. This was going to be difficult. She'd only done this twice. Once to show she could do it and once to download every piece of information in the facility. She knew this was going to hurt. She sat down, using her implants to shut down all unnecessary body functions. Then she connected herself into the computer network. On the screen opposite an image appeared. A typical computer documents folder.

"I chose this interface. I find it easy to deal with."

"Fine with us."

She concentrated and a folder was opened. The display flashed, trying to keep up with all the speed at which she dived through the folders. Eventually she slowed and reached a folder marked "Memos- US Government".

"Whoa. Hold it. The Government **knew **about this?"

"They were the third highest financer. After two private owned companies."

She entered the folder and scrolled down through the files.

"Found it."

A date and time stamp. She then opened it. It looked like memos from any Government department. Until you read the content.

_"Robson, I want to see this 'Weapon' you're producing. This thing's costing a fortune. And what on earth do you want 80 lbs of adamantium for? I've read all your reports and I can understand this thing's good. The files on the last Weapon were impressive to say the least. But words been filtering back that this Weapon's a teenager. I can condone an adult who volunteers but this project's been ongoing for twelve years. Just how old was Weapon X-ii when you started it's training?_

_Kelly"_

She exited and entered the answer.

_"Kelly, Weapon X and Weapon X-ii are mutants with healing factors. X-ii has been at the facility since it was two years old. It's training didn't start until it's third birthday. The adamantium is for the bones of the Weapon. The process, while fatal for a normal person, is relatively low risk for a mutant with the healing capabilities of Weapon X-ii. Because of equality laws, X-ii doesn't **legally **count as human. It is a mutant, plain and simple._

_Robson"_

She scrolled down to the answer.

_"Robson. Why didn't you say this Weapon X project was about mutants? I've signed the order for the adamantium. You have the permission of the Department to go ahead with the bonding process._

_Kelly"_

She exited the file and disconnected herself from the computer. Then turned and was surprised at the looks of horror on the other's faces.

"What?"

"The evil, twisted, lying…"

"Logan…"

"We saved his stinking life and then it turns out he authorised the torture of a teenage girl, just because she was a mutant. I'm going to have a conversation with him. A short one with claws."

"LOGAN!"

"Why is everyone so shocked by this?"

"Tora, this is the USA. We don't…shouldn't condone the torture of anyone. Especially not children."

"I've not been a child since I was two years old. I've been a weapon, a prisoner and an X-Man."

"You were still a child…"

"It doesn't matter. I've been used to it."

"That's not the point"

"It doesn't matter! I hate the way you **pity **me! I'm don't want pity! I don't want anyone tiptoeing around me, or not mentioning espionage near me! I don't want you all treating me like I'm made of china! I can handle a lot! I had a choice when I was twelve! Break or become strong! I blocked them out! I can block **everything **out! I don't **want **your pity, your fear! I'm not what I once was! I'm not a weapon or a child or any of those things you **think **I am! I'm me."

She left the room, going back to the Danger Room, leaving silence behind her.

* * *

><p>"She always did hate people pitying her."<p>

"Yes. It has been known to drive me crazy."

"I always wondered about her. She seemed very…forceful."

"She was more secretive than forceful."

"Ah."

* * *

><p>They were fighting in silence, Tora's last, angry remark quieting them all so there weren't any of their usual jokes. She seemed oblivious to the fact she was responsible for the brooding atmosphere and was concentrating fully on flipping through the lasers. She fought differently from the rest, never bothering to talk when she was fighting, simply striking or dodging in silence. It was slightly off-putting when you were expecting a sarcastic remark or an insult to just get a snarl or a cat-like hiss and suddenly have a 5-foot-4 clawed spring attack you. She'd change tactics on the slightest provocation and it was disconcerting to have a person who used textbook karate defensive tactics suddenly switch to street-brawling attack. The others had been slightly worried ever since they saw her pivot on the ball of one foot, swing the other round and drive her heel straight through a robot's head. Her boot had been shredded but her foot, despite the copious amounts of blood, was apparently completely unharmed. She'd shrugged of the questions and disappeared again for half an hour. They could only assume she went down to the lake. They'd seen her once down on the bank, a look of quiet concentration on her face. Then she'd moved so quickly, the only sign she'd actually changed position was the ripples in the lake and the fish beside her, which she then released back into the water.<p>

She was so busy dancing around the light beams she didn't notice the razor wings until too late. Her uniform was ripped badly, a large section of the back torn away. Then she heard the intakes of breath and heard Kurt's murmured whisper.

"_Vas im Himmel_…?"

She froze and reached around, hoping to feel the reassuring smoothness of her uniform. She touched the smooth material and ran her fingers down until she came to a tear over three inches wide. She turned, nerves causing her to bite her lips, so blood welled up before scabbing over. The program had been stopped and the others were standing there, just looking at her, a mixture of shock and revulsion on their faces. Scott looked as though he was struggling to find words.

"Who…what…did…**that** to you?"

She shifted uneasily.

"What?"

"That scar. And I don't think that two inch wide, three inch long was all."

She backed away, nervous.

"It doesn't matter. It's fine. Seriously…"

She never got a chance to finish. Storm suddenly had her arms held back.

"Please Tora. How bad is it?"

She didn't bother to struggle. They'd seen only a fraction of the whole scar. Perhaps she could downplay it. But how? How could she say a mistake when she knew the truth? Instead of trying to explain, she simply hung her head down.

"Please Tora. How bad is that?"

"Let my arms free. I'll…I'll show you."

Ororo released her arms on the nod from Scott and Tora used her claws to tear the back off her already ruined uniform. Eyes still downcast, she slowly turned, fearfully.

She heard Logan swear loudly, Kurt murmur his familiar "_Gott im Himmel_" and Piotr say something unprintable in Russian. Scott, when she turned back round, looked dumbstruck.

"Who…who…would…?"

"Was it Creed?"

Logan was apparently the first to recover.

"Later on, yes. But he was just reopening old scars. They healed. But the first time…it didn't."

"How…how did they…?"

"I…I don't want to talk about this Scott."

"Tigress, tell me right now!"

She flinched, as if she expected a blow to the face any second now. When none were forthcoming, she looked up, her shoulders still shaking slightly. Then, as if she was steeling herself for something painful, she finally looked Cyclops in the visor.

"I was fourteen. I'd just had my adamantium implanted a few weeks beforehand. I'd only just recovered. They were planning to show me off to one of the main financers. They sent me to the training gauntlet and then put a guard in. One I…I had reason to hate. I won't talk about why. But he had a gun and I broke it. I…I had my claws under his throat…They told me to…to kill him…And…and I…I couldn't. I looked into that man's eyes and saw such **fear**. I couldn't have driven my claws into his head if my life had depended on it. And so they strapped me to a table and cut my back open with blades that had been coated with my healing halter. And they burned open my back. Again and again. My back burned as they cut again and again and again and again. I screamed. I pleaded. I begged. I tried to die. And when they'd finished **punishing **me, they sold me to Creed."

She stood there, silent, the slight shaking of her shoulders all that betrayed her fear. She was gulping in the air, fear making her cower. Then she suddenly pulled her mask off and ran out. They heard doors slamming as she tried to run, run from the one thing she couldn't hide from. Her memories.

* * *

><p>"That is one messed-up human."<p>

"Death, a little more sensitivity if you please."

"Sorry dear. I keep forgetting your ridiculous attachment to that race. They never reached the power of the Skrulls, Shi'ar or even the Kree."

"But they have more **interesting **history than all three combined. So many powered people. And if I may remind you, both I and Phoenix hail from that insignificant race. Isn't that a little worrying? Phoenix, who danced from person to person found the perfect avatar. I found the one person I was willing to share my power with. All from one little **insignificant** race. And if I remember correctly, which I always do, you once possessed a Mrs Marlo Jones."

"Well everyone else was taking human avatars left, right and centre."

"Exactly my point old friend."

"You only call me that when you want to rub my nose in it."

* * *

><p>She sat in the woods, high in the trees. She could see people coming from a mile off. She could hear them coming from three miles off. She was listening, watching, scenting. Feeling the shifts in air patterns, tasting the sour car fumes from the road over a mile and a half away. She hated the city. It confined her, trapped her. She wasn't meant to be here. She was meant for the mountains and forests and plains. She was meant to roam freely, survive on what she could catch or gather. Not sit for most of the day talking. She needed to be tired, so tired she's sleep without dreaming, so tired there wouldn't be any of the memories played again and again and again.<p>

She moved slightly then dropped down and began to run. Feet hit the ground and she powered forward, running and running, round and round the grounds. When she reached the lake she didn't bother to skirt it, just dived in and swam. She wasn't going to stop, was just going to charge in a straight line until she dropped with exhaustion. And if she dragged herself up again and kept on running, maybe then she'd just drop down and die. She remembered the peace flowing through her when she thought she was going to die. She wanted that feeling again, that calm and that certainty no one would ever hurt her again. Sometimes when you'd been hurt so badly, not physically, but mentally, then you'd just not be able to go on. You'd be fine and no injuries would be there, but you'd be broken inside. Tora hadn't ever reached that point. When it came to the time most people would break, she'd just placed even thicker barriers between her and the rest of the world. But now her friendship with the X-Men was breaking them down and the fragile child who'd died in a room that smelt of death and dogs and blood was being subjected to all the pain and trauma that had been kept away.

Suddenly she stopped swimming. She felt the extra weight in her bones drag her down and she remembered something that she'd read in Xavier's library. Drowning was apparently the most peaceful way to die. Maybe she'd just let the metal drag her down. The X-Men would think she'd left them and no one would ever bother to check at the very bottom of the lake. The metal would stop her body from being dredged up. She felt the water close over her head and fill her lungs. So easy. Just peace and no more pain. Then someone grabbed her arms, there was a feeling of exhaustion and then she blacked out.

* * *

><p>"I don't remember that…"<p>

"There never was a chance of her dying so you didn't need to be there."

"She seemed pretty close to dying."

"Kurt had been watching her the entire time. When he saw her go under he bamfed in to rescue her."

"What was that stupid tag line he used to say?"

"Nightcrawler by name- swashbuckler by trade, damsel saving a speciality."

"Yes. Very stupid."


	13. Betrayal

**Memories**

Betrayal

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

She was lying down and a blurry face was looking down on her. A word slid involuntarily past her lips.

"Eva…"

"Are you alive again? We all thought you were going to die. When Kurt brought you in you were so still."

"Kitty…?"

"Oh, I forgot. PROFESSOR! She's awake!"

She closed her eyes, hoping Kitty would be quiet. She'd been so close. She thought for a second she'd heard Eva calling her but the words had been blurred and she hadn't understood them fully.

"Tora."

"Professor."

"You'll make a full recovery. It was lucky Kurt had been there. He's resting at the moment. Teleporting with another is very tiring."

"Wh…What?"

She tried to sit up only to be pushed back down.

"You need rest. I'm taking you off training for a while until you're in a more stable mental state."

"Please! Please don't. I need to train!"

"Tora, I let you into the X-Men when you were still obviously recovering from your past. It was irresponsible. You hadn't time to adjust. I want you to get used to living as normal a life as possible before I ask you to risk your life on missions."

"Please Professor. I need to do this alone."

"Tora, I cannot let you fight when your mental state is so fragile…"

"You can't read my mind so you haven't a clue about my mental state."

His kindly smile dropped for a second and then he turned to wheel himself away. As he opened the door he glanced back.

"I think someone should stay with you for a while. I'll call Ororo."

So, he didn't trust her. She tilted her head back on the pillows and shifted uneasily. She hated being force to stay still. She needed to get away, escape. A noise made her start.

"'Ro couldn't come so Chuck sent me up."

"Hello Logan."

"Why did you do it? Kurt told the others that you blacked out when swimming but he told me you were fully conscious and just stopped swimming."

"I don't know. It was just quiet and peaceful. And…and when I thought I was going to die- in Murderworld- it was so…so…"

"Calm?"

"I…I think so. There was just that promise of no more pain, no more hurt. And I wanted that. Just to not have to live with this. The poison in my bones. The throb in my back. The whispering in my head. The ache in here."

She pressed her hand to her heart, feeling the steady beat. She knew what the dying heart felt like. Fluttering, desperate. Trying to beat stronger but failing. Unable to do it's job of pumping blood around the body so the brain slowly starved of oxygen. Her heartbeat was strong and regular, in perfect order.

"There was someone else there, wasn't there?"

She stiffened slightly then, almost tentatively shook her head.

"There were no other living people at the facility when you arrived."

There- a fully truthful answer, just not to the question he had asked. But she felt terrible, as if she'd just torn out her own heart. She would never do that again. Luckily Logan didn't press her any further. He just glanced at her then shrugged. She liked that about him. He took what she said and didn't push any further. The others either pushed for answers so hard she wanted to resist or seemed edgy around her. She was just beginning to drop into a sleep when Logan said something she didn't quite catch.

"I'm sorry…"

"Oh. I was just thinking. The way you act, it's like there was someone I knew once like you. Someone important. There's just a few words, like a lesson, and mint. I remember the smell of mint. I'm not exactly sure who but I think it could have been a teacher of some sort."

"What are they saying?"

"Something about the things inside being the most important things we have."

"That doesn't sound like me…"

"No. But the tone, the **way** it was said was like you."

"Mint's a common soap or shampoo scent. I must be one of millions who use it."

"Yeah. But the **other **scents from that time are all things like lavender and rose and in one case jasmine. Only one mint."

"You don't remember faces so how could you possible think of this person when you see me?"

"Don't know."

The conversation petered out and the two feral mutants sat in comfortable silence, each lost in their own thoughts. They often sat like that when everyone else was out, at opposite ends of the sitting room downstairs, Tora reading whatever dusty old tome she'd found in the library, Logan either practising his Japanese calligraphy or reading a L'Amour. Then without any given signal one would get up and go and get drinks for them both. Because both were very alike in powers and, to some extent, past, they got on extremely well. Their silent comradeship only really worked because Logan didn't press questions on Tora and she didn't judge his more violent tendencies like the others did. They were both reaching the ends of the respective muses when Kurt arrived.

"Hello _mien Freunds_. How are the X-Men's suicidal X-ii and their Weapon X?"

Logan sensed rather than saw Tora sit up.

"_Pardon, mon amis?_"

He'd noticed that. When she was worried or angry about something she slipped into French, the only clue into her origins.

"Oh, has our surly Canadian not told you all about our fights with Alpha Flight in Calgary? Too bad. That was one amazing fight. You see, _Herr_ Logan over there was the precious 'Weapon X' of the Canadian government. He resigned to join the X-Men so the Canadian equivalent of the Avengers only more government run, was sent to bring him back."

Kurt could tell he'd said something wrong. Logan had his head buried in his hands and Tora was sitting stock-still. Whatever was wrong, he guessed it would be better if he wasn't there when the fireworks started. He 'ported away as fast as he could and decided he'd go out with Amanda for a while.

As soon as Kurt had left, Logan turned to look at Tora.

"It's not as bad as it sounds…"

"Don't talk to me."

Her voice was icy, harsh. She was deliberately not looking at him, her eyes focussing on the wall behind his head.

"Tora…"

That seemed to crack the smooth veneer.

"GET AWAY FROM ME! DON'T TALK TO ME, DON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME! Every word you ever told me was a lie! You pretended to be a friend, when all the time you were responsible for this! You lied and lied and lied again, all covering up your past!"

"Please Tora, let me explain…"

"How many people did you kill 'Weapon X'?" The name was filled with hate.

"How many men and women have pleaded with you and you killed them anyway? Can you remember their names, their faces? Or have you killed so often they're all one to you?"

"Tora, please…"

That was it. She exploded, launching herself off the bed Xavier had ordered her to remain in. Claws slid out of her tightly clenched fists as she screamed at him.

"GET OUT! JUST GET OUT!"

And rather than face the delicate, spindly claws that could actually kill him, Logan fled, leaving Tora to scream after him in English, French, Japanese, German and Russian.

* * *

><p>"And they ended up…"<p>

"Oh, please Death, don't interrupt a perfectly worded outburst like that. Better than those stupid films Miss Lee insisted on watching when she arrived."

"I never saw her lose her temper that much except when the Parker boy stole her coffee."

"She lost it when Summers was caught with Frost."

"Well she **was** Phoenix's best friend."

* * *

><p>None of the other X-Men knew what had caused the painful silence between Logan and Tora. The training sessions together had stopped and Tora took pains to make sure she was never alone in the house with him. Even when others were there, she'd leave a room as soon as he entered. She took to spending most of her days with Ororo, reading her books up in her attic. She'd take Kitty into the city whenever she asked, and gradually had gained a few stores she would happily spend hours in. They were mainly tiny bookshops in which she would browse through for most of the day before Kitty dragged her out. She'd also found the song that the guard had used to sing to her by accident, hearing it being played in a restaurant and Kitty had happily identified it. She'd bought the CD with it on at a music store as well as trying to find a surprise present for Kitty's birthday. In the end she'd simply sneaked into her room, gone through the CDs and bought the new album from the most prominent artist there, someone called 'Dazzler'. It sounded as if she was popular. But apparently she'd made the right choice because Kitty had hugged her very hard when she'd opened it. She then started gabbling so fast Tora almost didn't catch that Dazzler, who was really called Alison Blaire- according to Kitty- was a mutant who could convert sound into lights. Hence the name. But apparently it was a secret because of all the mutant phobia right now.<p>

She'd also started drawing. Peter had offered her some of his art equipment and, in a futile attempt to forget all the feelings she'd been betrayed by someone she liked a lot, she began sketching furiously. She soon gave up the more realistic drawings as her photographic memory and enhanced hand-eye coordination made it too easy. Instead she started drawing small cartoon or caricatures. She found them more challenging because you had to decide what to emphasize.

But in some ways she was becoming a lot more approachable. She'd lost the slightly surly walls she threw up and a quietly sarcastic sense of humour was slowly developing. After a particularly bad training session, in which Scott had managed to get on everyone's nerves, she had Kurt on the floor in stitches with the perfect imitation of Cyclops. She'd shifted her position, her accent had changed and her voice deepened and she'd **become **Scott for a few short seconds. The illusion had been spoiled by Kurt laughing so hard he'd fallen off the ceiling and landing on top of her, breaking her concentration. But after that she'd do impersonations of the other X-Men on request. She still avoided the TV room though. When they finally asked her why, she mentioned she didn't see the point of staring at a series of still, unfocussed photos with a soundtrack and a high, irritating buzz. Xavier had whisked her away for more tests before discovering she saw about 30 images a second instead of the usual 20. And her hearing gave her a much higher frequency range. Therefore, the buzzing she heard was outside the usual human range and very high frequencies caused her extreme pain.

After about a month of this behaviour the Professor finally agreed to let her return to the active team roster. She hid her happiness well, guessing that if she appeared too eager to return he'd advise another months rest.

* * *

><p>"She's acting more human by the day."<p>

"Of course. But she has still a few more things to do before she's fully human."

"Like that robot- Vision. He could only become human by dying."

"A good analogy, but she doesn't have to die."

* * *

><p>It was a month after she'd returned to the roster and Tigress had quickly become a fixture in the X-Men. The press interest had died down and she was fitting comfortably into the group. She still hadn't spoken to Logan in two months except for one cursory "Pass the mustard please," at a meal but she would fight with him if required. He'd tried to talk to her but she'd always have something important to do and would rush off before the first syllable was out of his mouth. She'd tried a fastball special the day before and proved to be a useful long-range projectile. Because her skeleton had been smaller than Logan's when the adamantium was implanted, she had about 20 pounds less in her bones. She knew the bone was brittle and would crumble without the adamantium otherwise she'd have tried to remove it.<p>

They'd been playing baseball again, Girls versus Boys. However, Ororo could fly and Kitty had a habit of working out vectors so they were pretty equal against Scott, Kurt, Peter and Logan. They'd been about to equalize when the Professor had appeared looking grave.

"I've found out a Sentinel factory has been built. If we go now, we may avoid the fiasco of the last time we were attacked by them."

"Er… What or who are Sentinels?"

They all looked at Tora who was sitting looking slightly worried. She shrugged then defensively said, "Creed never really kept me up to date on current affairs. I can remember the conversations the guards had the day before about the founding of the Fantastic Four but that was the only conversation I remember overhearing. I assume the X-Men have been going for as long."

"The Sentinels are mutant hunting robots. Each model has a different weaknesses and they have almost wiped us out on occasions."

She chewed her lip, obviously deep in thought.

"Are their visual sensors digital? If they are I can get in undetected and do what I'm best at. Espionage and sabotage. I wasn't very good at assassination. Actually I was rubbish. I got a good mark in principal protection though but my teacher said I'd never be an efficient bodyguard. Apparently I'm too emotional."

The description of quiet, reserved, practical Tora as **emotional **would have had even the most humourless person snorting. As it was, Kurt, who had been preparing to bowl, got so hysterical he 'accidentally' threw the ball at Scott's head. The Professor gave him a sharp look and then turned his attention to Tora.

"I don't think going against the Sentinels alone is a viable option. But your offer will probably come in handy. Perhaps the others could provide a distraction? Scott?"

Scott looked up only to find his head was still ringing.

"Er… I think it might work."

* * *

><p>"Did he even hear what he said?"<p>

"Sadly, no."


	14. Injuries to Go

**Memories**

Injuries to Go

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

"WHAT! I AGREED TO SERVE AS A DISTRACTION WHILE SHE SAUNTERS IN AND BLOWS THE PLACE UP!"

"Sadly, you did fearless leader."

"Shut up Logan."

"Well, what's done is done Scott. And Tora has extensive black ops training. Whilst you were…er…still slightly confused, she got the plans and then used the Danger Room to break in, dodge through the Sentinels and blow up the place, within twenty minutes."

"Twenty…"

"_Ja! _She's amazing. And when she did that triple backflip and then started tap-dancing on the Master-Mold, just because she could."

"WHAT!"

"Fuzzy there's having you on."

"Good. That didn't sound like Tora."

Logan immediately looked away. He didn't like long conversations about Tora. There was still a lot of bitterness there. She had taken to blanking him whenever she walked past. And that girl could blank with the best. Most people would still react slightly to you, such as a flicker of the eyes or a change in stance. But she didn't even see him. The only stupid thing she had said to him in **two months **was a request for a tabletop garnish! And that had been directed at Kurt.

She stuck her head into the Blackbird cockpit.

"Where's the powerpack on a Sentinel? I've been studying the schematics for the last lot and I can't find it."

Logan looked round at her and she looked right through him. It would be worth a try.

"It's in the base of the head."

She gave no inclination she'd heard him. Storm, Cyclops and Nightcrawler glanced at each other. Kurt spoke up.

"It's in the base of the head.

"Thanks Kurt."

She disappeared, probably to continue dissection the hologram. The others all looked at Logan.

"Why does she ignore you?"

"Shut up Elf."

* * *

><p>"I still can't believe…"<p>

"Shh. Watch this. This is the master at work."

* * *

><p>She moved quickly, claws digging into the walls, avoiding all the delicate sensors. The alarms on the other side of the compound were ringing loudly so the other X-Men were obviously doing their job well. There was a tall robot on the other side. It looked straight through her, the digital sensors simply seeing a panoramic, <strong>empty <strong>horizon. She flicked over and pressed her fists deep into the metal. The robot squawked and keeled over. She grinned. She **loved **doing this. Oh, there was a big door with a big number pad. What was **wrong **with her? She was sounding like…like…well she wasn't sure **who **she sounded like. She sauntered over. She'd be running on the way out. Of course, she could just set up a remote bomb but she preferred the old fashioned timers. Call her nostalgic or whatever. There was just something more **personal** about the countdown. And if she wasn't fast enough then there would be extreme pain. Not death. She'd had bombs go off within a hundred feet of her and survived. But having your flesh hanging off and full thickness burns were extremely unpleasant, not to say the X-Men would probably assume she's died in the inferno that was about to engulf this place. There were no living people in the building, something she'd made certain of before agreeing to blow it up.

She glanced at the code box. A four-digit passcode. She then leant in and placed one claw carefully on the edging. She removed the outer panel so the wires were showing. Now… It's a standard model so if the third wire from the left is cut 3.65cm precisely from the main power supply then… the door slid open. She grinned even wider. Nice to know she was as good as ever. She glanced down the wide corridor. There **shouldn't **be any traps but you never knew. She moved slowly, with deliberation. When no sudden attacks left her without any important organs she began to speed up, moving at a long easy lope that, if well fed when she began, she could keep up for days on end. After all, she had promised twenty minutes, a half-hour tops. Right. Right. Left. Third Left. The map was emblazoned in her mind. Advantage of a photographic memory. Left. Right. She concentrated on her steps. If she tore a tendon now… Sure it would heal but it'd add an extra fifteen minutes to her schedule. And those fifteen minutes could mean the difference between life and death for her friends.

When she reached the control room she wasn't even out of breath. She pulled off the bag she'd been wearing and began to assemble the bomb. She was out of practise but she still was a lot faster than most people would ever be. She placed the last component in place and flicked the timer. Right. Better start running. Five minutes would give her enough time to get out of here. She moved fast, her feet hitting the ground, the launch from one foot pushing her forward even further. She shot don long corridors, Sentinels looking straight through her. She dived out of the door and considered swearing. The gates- which were supposed to be open- were closed. She'd have to scale the wall again. She leapt, claws digging in as her feet scrabbled for purchase. She knew deep down she wouldn't be able to climb over the barbed wire in time. But she had to try.

She pulled herself over the top of the wall. And then felt the searing heat on the back of her neck as the plant exploded behind her. She didn't scream as she fell. She was already unconscious.

* * *

><p>"What…"<p>

"I'll show you the accident from the X-Men's point of view shall I?"

"Please"

* * *

><p>It went bad from the start. They couldn't get the gates open. The fight was fine as no one got injured. But the gates wouldn't open. They'd been watching and then the tiny figure had reached the top of the wall. The blast had pushed her out and they'd been unable to do anything as she'd spun like a ragdoll and landed badly. Then the wall came down on her.<p>

They'd dived in, digging through the rubble to get her. And when they finally did it was obvious something was terribly, horrifyingly wrong. Blood was everywhere. There were burns on her neck but they were healing. What worried them was the rips in her chest and stomach where she'd fallen her claws. There was so much blood… It wasn't stopping and the scars on her back were oozing blood as well. It wasn't pretty. Peter tried to take a pulse but he looked at them in worry.

"It's there. But it's so weak. I think Storm may have to act as a defibrillator soon."

They eased her out of the rubble. The sooner they got her back the better. They improvised with a stretcher made of Storm's cape and tried to stem the blood flow with ripped sections of their uniform. How on Earth could anyone who'd lost that much blood and still be alive? Suddenly her eyes snapped open, revealing pupils so slit-like with fear they were lost in the gold. She tried to sit up but fell back down and a low, animal whine slid from between her lips. She seemed unable to focus on them, simply having her eyes open because the light was preferable to whatever nightmares hid behind her eyes. Her breathing was short, shallow. The eight gashes had apparently been sustained when one hand had spun, ripping in just below her ribcage and tearing down the right side. The other hand had ripped horizontally directly across her stomach. She seemed to be trying to say something, voice so quiet they almost couldn't hear her.

"No…thought…if you go…survive…please…Ev…"

"I think she's delirious."

"Anyone who's that messed up shouldn't be conscious."

"I suppose you know all about that Logan."

"Slim, we have a dying team-mate here. Stop biting my head off."

"I'm glad Kitty isn't here."

They all exchanged nervous glances. If Kitty saw the terrible tears in Tora's stomach or if they weren't fast enough, saw a corpse, how would she react? With Thunderbird there were no recognizable features. Jean had effectively vaporized herself. But Tora's face was twisted with pain and a trickle of blood was running from her mouth. They'd seen the injuries she'd got in training and even when she'd fallen badly and dislocated a shoulder, her face hadn't shown a trace of pain. Now it was writhing as she tried to cope with the sudden draughtiness in her intestines.

As they moved her into the Blackbird and started using the emergency first aid kit, contacting the Professor and making sure Kitty had an unscheduled visit to see her parents. There'd been some argument because she was an X-Man- albeit one in training. But the general consensus had been that the injuries wouldn't even be shown in an X-rated movie and were definitely not something a fifteen year old should be exposed to.

When they got back her heartbeat was so weak they thought for a second it had gone. Only Logan had been able to sense the fluttering, dying heart, pumping the blood out of her wounds. Her breathing was laboured, every breath causing pain. Charles had called any and all doctors he could think of. Hank McCoy was there and Dr Strange. Apparently Reed Richards was offworld and the Avengers could only spare one Hank. Hank was the only one who dared speak.

"Oh my stars and garters. Charles, I'm not that good."

"I, however, am good enough. But my hands… I can show you how Dr McCoy."

"Do ya think she'll survive?"

"Wolverine, with injuries this bad, it would be a miracle if she is remains in a semi-vegative state for the rest of her life."

As if to express her disdain for that statement, Tora's eyes flew open and she murmured a word, a name.

"Logan…"

"Impossible. No one with such extensive injuries should be able to speak."

"Logan…sorry…so sorry…"

A fit of coughing stopped this, spewing blood everywhere. The impossibilities of her ability to speak and react were pushed aside by the more important task of preventing any more blood from leaving her already deathly white body. Stitches were used but her healing rejected them. Under his blue fur, Beast was looking pale.

"I don't know what to do."

"If the contaminated flesh had been cut away as soon as possible she may have healed. As it is, her immune system has started ignoring the injuries."

"What if another healing factor was wired up to her? Cut away the 'contamination' or whatever and give her blood transfusions from another with a healing factor."

Everyone gaped at Wolverine.

"I remember it happening to me."

The flurry of activity that followed was frantic. Logan suggested direct transfer, while Hank was nervously removing the skin, muscle and intestines that had been torn into. Finally the thin needles and tubes were placed in her arm and Logan's blood, filled with the hormones that allowed him to heal, reached the fluttering, dying heart. As they watched, hopeful, desperate, the gaping wounds began to slowly, oh so slowly, knit together. The monitor of her heartbeat showed it strengthening, starting to beat in time with the other heart attached by the plastic tubing. Her golden eyes were open now but still slightly unfocussed. There was no fear in her eyes. In fact, her pupils had dilated, becoming almost round and finally not looking lost in her oversized irises. She looked calm and almost happy. At any rate, the pained look on her face had gone and there was a slight twitching around the eyes that looked like she wanted to smile.

"At the rate she's healing, we'll have to either take some of Logan's blood and inject it in at regular intervals throughout the night. Or Logan could remain here with his blood being used as a healing factor by someone who apparently hasn't spoken to him for two months."

* * *

><p>"I think I remember that. It was definitely borderline. I didn't attend in person of course. I sent Reave to that."<p>

"Reave? The Edinburgh doctor you tried to kill then offered a job?"

"Yes. That one."

"The one who ended up joining the Avengers?"

"Yes."

"Is he still around?"

"Yes. I left him in charge. He's very responsible. Can we see more? This is better than those Mojoverse TV shows."

"You **liked **Mojoverse shows?"

"I spent a lot of time there."

* * *

><p>It was dark and both were asleep. Tora lying on the medilab bed and Logan slumped over in the seat beside her. There were only a few thin white lines to show where, mere hours before, blood had been flowing freely. She had still been slightly delirious when she'd fallen asleep, muttering something about not being able to run the gauntlet. Logan had fallen asleep a while after. Tora was creating her own blood now but it was doing a double circuit. Round through one heart and into the other. Screaming woke him. She was struggling, trying to get out. He knew what was wrong. He often woke like that as well, screaming as he thought all the good times with the X-Men were just him imagining a better world. He reached out hesitantly. She'd probably gut him if he tried to touch her hand. Then her eyes were fixed on his. She wasn't looking through him but at him and somehow he could almost read her. She gestured weakly to the various drips and pipes that had been inserted into her bloodstream.<p>

"What happened?"

"You…you're not going to start ignoring me again are you?"

Her eyes filled with a deep sorrow. For the first time ever he saw true emotion in them. Not the guarded emotions that she allowed out. He began to realize the depth with which she felt emotions and exactly why barriers were thrown up. Then she seemed to realize he was reading her and the barriers were up again. But he sensed it wouldn't take so much to push them down again.

"I…I…I'm sorry."

He tried to wave the apology aside but he realized how important this was to her.

"I messed up too. Should have told you straight out when I realized it was my fault."

"It wasn't though. I blamed you for something you had no control over. I got lucky, had someone there who told me not to lose hope. If he hadn't been there I think I'd have been everything they wanted me to be –and more."

She shuddered as if she was thinking of the fate that could have been hers.

"I think I would have been worse than you ever could be. It's still there. All the darkness swirling away, eating away at me. I have it under control, have had it there for years. Creed showed me what would happen if I gave into it, but before that I was frankly…I suppose you could say I was ill. I mauled a guard so badly he'd never walk again but I deliberately stopped before I killed him."

"If you didn't kill him, it can't have-"

"I destroyed his life. By the end of it he was begging me to kill him but I just continued to…play with him, like a cat plays with a mouse. They dragged me off him and punished me. That's when I got this."

She tried to tug her boot off but lapsed into a fit of coughing. Logan carefully removed it and gasped. Branded into her calf was the word 'ANIMAL'

"Each letter was done separately and when they'd finished they burnt it open again. After that I learnt better so I took my anger out on myself."

She traced the lines around her wrists and lower arms that were so faint even Logan with his enhanced senses hadn't seen them before she pointed them out.

"I've countless reminders of my time there. Each one still hurts a little."

"If those were done with your claws, how did you heal?"

"They cut out the enzymes as soon as they could. Then they put the adamantium gloves on so I'd do stupid stunts in training instead."

"Like?"

"Standing under a pile-driver. Jumping in front of lasers. Stupid stuff."

"You're right. You sound like you were pretty messed up."

"So what happened?"

He started as he realized she'd asked him a question and he'd totally forgotten about it.

"We think you fell on your own claws. And about three tonnes of concrete fell on you. Oh and you also suffered severe burns but those healed."

"Oh. So not too serious then?"

"WHAT!"

"I've had every injury under the sun. Dislocated limbs, torn tendons, amputations, broken necks…"

"Broken neck**s**?"

"Three times. I think I was 13- that must have been it. I'd only just got my healing and I accidentally said 'Sir, may I throw a wine bottle at you' instead of 'Sir, may I pass you a glass of wine'. I think that was in Latin. I'm not very good at it."

"WHAT!"

"Shhh! You'll wake everyone else up."

"Oh yeah. Sorry. Forgot. But they broke your neck for messing up a single phrase…"

"I'd also accidentally on purpose alerted the FBI to the fact I'd been hacking their secret files for years."

"Ouch."

"Then I messed up a training exercise –that was the second time and called the Professor some of the…erm…choicer words I picked up from the guards –that was the third."

"I bet that was some ripe language."

"I think I managed to swear at him in over thirty languages. And I said '_Wewe mafuta __nguruw_' which didn't help my case at all."

"What did you call him?"

"Translated it means 'You fat pig'. It was the inventiveness he didn't like. He was fine with me spewing out all this terrible stuff I was obviously just copying, but come up with an inventive insult of my own was neck breaking punishment. It was worth it to see him face though."

"You thought having your neck broken was worth seeing some freak in a lab coat looking shocked?"

"Well I was bored. Sitting in a cold room for three days with nothing to do because your teachers are stuck in the snow is boring. Really, really boring."

"You were bored so you took to chucking cheap insults…?"

"I was thirteen. Sometimes I'd forget myself and stopped acting as they deemed appropriate. I'd laugh or smile and they'd punish me."

"How did you cope? Not go insane?"

"There was a guard who treated me like a real person. Used to play music outside the cell, chat to me, tell me about his kids. Dash of normalcy in a crazy world."

"What on earth was he doing there if he treated you like that?"

"Admin-"

"-error. I think I was once sent on a mission to do something I'd rather not have done."

"I thought there was nothing you'd not do."

"Yeah well I wouldn't do this. It's not nice so I ain't telling you what it was."

She smiled slightly but he couldn't help be feel that how they reacted to each other had changed. He wasn't as protective of her, was seeing her more as an equal than someone to be looked after. She suddenly looked up and voiced the very thing he was thinking about.

"This isn't like before. I've lost the feeling you're like a father. You're a friend. Just a friend. But I trust you. I haven't been able to tell the others about all…that. You're the only one who understands. I couldn't show them the brand or the cuts. They'd be scared or pity me. You just listen."

"Thanks."

She reached out and touched his shoulder. A gesture of friendship she hadn't been able to give before. She'd changed in the two months she'd been ignoring him. She was more human but with that slight suggestion that deep down an animal was curled up comfortably. That was the main difference between them. She accepted the animal and it fitted in with her, became a part of her. It was the human portion that caused her trouble. His animal wasn't like hers. His was a beast that tried to dominate.

* * *

><p>"So that's when it all started?"<p>

"Of course. But it started before that and after that and in a way it started when she was born."

"You've been taking to Fate again haven't you?"

"Of course. Some **friends **drop in before you do."

"I had the entire population of the **universe **to process remember?"

"And I had the biographies of every single person, plus all the sub realties **and **the basic laws of Physics to file. I rearranged the Archives **eight **times before you turned up."

"Time works differently, remember? I stayed away for eight days. Afterlife time."

"Pff."


	15. Family?

**Memories**

Family?

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

As with their spilt, no one other than Tora and Logan knew what had caused their sudden, stronger friendship. Someone would come down in the middle of the night and hear them talking quietly in the living room. In the Danger Room they'd fight back-to-back, becoming an unstoppable fighting force, using their enhanced senses and similar training to allow them to know what the other would do and compliment it at exactly the right time. It would be slightly scary for them both to go into a low crouch and then, whilst Wolverine launched himself at the enemy, Tigress would flip over backwards and land on it's head. As soon as it was down they'd be back to back again, chatting about reading material or something stupid like that. When they were yelled at Tora had just turned her predatory golden eyes on them and said that the digital chips in her head really did most of the fighting and she could shut off connections between parts of the brain so she could multitask effectively. Logan had just told them he'd been doing it longer than anyone else in the room because the original X-Men team had only been founded seven years beforehand, in 1998*.The second team had been going for three years. He'd been doing what he did for much longer than that. At which point Tora coughed slightly and mentioned she'd been training years before that, back in the 80s. '87 to be precise. She'd managed to successfully stop that conversation. Probably it was the fact she'd been born about 1984 that did it.

And after training they disappeared into the computer room. People going in and out saw them sitting at terminals having arguments about whether to include New Orleans into the search. What search was a bit of a puzzler. Bets were going in thick and fast about what they were searching for. Course, no one wanted to be the one to ask. In the end the subject was tentatively raised at dinner. The answer had been nothing anyone had a bet on.

"We're lookin' for her family. Going through the birth records for the years she could have been born in, following them up, trying to find anything at all."

"Why didn't you ask for help?"

"Cos you can't understand. Peter and Kitty have families, Kurt has his foster family, 'Roro and Scott know what happened to their family and Scott has Alex. But me. I don't know who my family are. Closest I've got are the Hudsons. Tora ain't even got that. She's been alone and I know what that's like. No surnames, no clue to who we might be. Just a few empty words and a couple of scents. That's all we have."

She was sitting there quietly, head down slightly. Then she looked up quickly with that motion that was so catlike.

"I don't want to continue. It hurts. We've already gone through all the Quebec and major French speaking areas of Canada. We've done New Orleans and countless other cities. I don't care anymore. For all I know they sold me out when they found I was a mutant. And if I do find them they won't want this. A scarred, broken warrior. They lost a child. They won't want a woman who's seen far too much and will always be looking over her shoulder."

* * *

><p>"But…"<p>

"She'd been looking through all files, seeing children who grew up happily, had everything she'd lost out on. When you have nothing, even those who had very little seem much higher than you."

* * *

><p>Logan was walking past her room in the night when he heard the screams. He hesitated before knocking once and going in. She was writhing under the sheet, claws out. He heard the words she was crying in pain. Things about metal burning and freezing. Begging to be left alone. Screaming insults to people he couldn't see but picture oh so well. Then she caught his scent and the thrashing stopped. She was still asleep, still in pain, but she relaxed. The screaming quieted to a low muttering. For the first time he properly looked around her room. It was blank, impersonal. The only suggestion that someone lived there were the book on the bedside table, a metal collar that caused him to snarl slightly and a coffee cup which Kitty had bought her with a cat on it. Her animal whine of pain remembered brought him back to reality. He'd known she had nightmares but so bad she screamed out like it was happening all over again? No, he hadn't known. She threw back her head and howled loudly. Why weren't the others coming to help? He hadn't a clue how to help his friend from the demons in her head. In the end he reached out and caught her flailing hands. She still tried to pull away and he didn't want to move in closer. But gradually she calmed down again and he felt better about leaving her to sleep.<p>

When she woke the following morning she realized the night had been almost entirely nightmare free. Instead she'd dreamt she was running, running free and wild in the woods and there was no one to hurt her, trap her, pull her down. And for some strange reason Logan had been there too.

* * *

><p>"She never stopped having the nightmares did she?"<p>

"They lessened over time. But she never shook them of entirely. Sometimes they'd come back worse but overall she eventually got them under control. Other nightmares pushed them out the way."

"Can we get onto the bit I really want to see?"

"You're hopeless Death, you know that?"

"That's me darling."

"DON'T call me **darling**!"

* * *

><p>"Hello Monsieur Circen, Madame Circen. My name is Ororo Munroe and I'm a student at the Xavier Institute. Until the lectures start, would you like to see the grounds?"<p>

The lectures had been Stark's idea. The leading researcher in genetic mutation Charles Xavier using his school to host lectures on human-mutant cohabitation. Various lecturers had been invited and most had accepted. Word had got around that Dr Henry McCoy, Avenger and former X-Man would be giving some talks. Maybe some of the X-Men would be there. And the Circens, the French mutant rights activists who were all completely human. All except for the daughter who had disappeared. For weeks the pictures of the toddler with a huge smile on her face as she tugged at the fur of a cat who seemed quite happy to be mauled by the child had been on the front pages of papers everywhere back in the eighties. But bigger and better news had pushed it out of the way. The other daughter, a fifteen year old raven haired girl looked like she was bored senseless.

Tora was the only student not giving selective tours but was weaving in and out of the crowds reading some of important documents and running errands for the Professor. Her hair had been pulled up in a tight ponytail that didn't really suit her. There was a look of slight concentration on her face as she took in the statistics on the sheet, stepped neatly around people and absent-mindedly offered out drinks from the tray on the other hand. She'd gone and separated all the parts of her brain again to multi task effectively. However, Storm was quickly whisking the lecturers around the school.

"Over there is Scott Summers. He was one of the original students and brilliant at spatial geometry. Over there is Kurt Wagner, a gymnast. He used to work in a circus as a trapeze artist. Kitty Pryde, a fully certified genius. Can do almost anything with computers. Peter Rasputin is an amazing artist. I know Logan's around here somewhere, he's…well he can do quite a lot. And Tora's helping the Professor I think. She's a linguist."

Logan suddenly shot past making a remark about rescuing Johnny Storm from Tora before he tried to flirt with her.

"What was that about, _Mademoiselle_ Munroe?"

"Tora will sit quietly listening to him and then go 'Pardon?" in whatever language she's learning at the moment. She doesn't do relationships very well."

"_Porquoi?_"

"Speak English, Eloise."

"Fine then. Why doesn't she do relationships?"

Kurt suddenly arrived at Ororo's shoulder.

"Are we talking about Tora? She may be a genius at languages but she can't hold a decent conversation for _karamelle_."

"That isn't her fault Kurt. You haven't had to hear her nightmares. Some of the stuff she screams is…horrific."

"What happened?"

The two X-Men glanced at one another. They couldn't exactly tell the Circens that Tora had been tortured, beaten and turned into a living weapon. In the end they settled for the closest thing to the truth.

"She grew up in care homes where she was abused. She still has some of the scars."

"_Paurve fille._"

"She doesn't talk about it. She'd rather everyone forget about it. Logan's the only one she talks about it too."

"Why does she ignore it?"

"She finds it easier. She refused the therapy when offered it. I think she had to become detached from others. At any rate she has a habit of wandering off in the middle of conversations or hopping from one thing to another."

All five turned to look at the young woman whose brow was now furrowed as Logan tried yet again to explain that the blond man she'd been talking to was trying to hit off with her. He was saved from her questions by Beast bounding exuberantly up to the platform to begin his talk.

"Greetings. I feel most welcome back at my old place of learning whence I once studied hard and probably cheated in lots of tests with my partners in crime. That was before all my escapades with the X-Men and Avengers of course. Well-"

Hank launched into one of his lectures with lots of long words and scientific terms. Tora sat completely still, committing the entire talk to memory and probably also translating the whole thing into twelve different languages as well. She was nearest the door so she was the first to hear the people outside. Therefore when the people burst in with anti-mutant banners it was to see a petite woman with a slight smile on her face dropping reams of paper onto the floor. You couldn't blame them for laughing when she asked them to leave politely. And when she wasn't so polite you couldn't blame them for running. A 5 foot 4 martial artist who seemed to have experience dealing with multiple foes at once is rather scary. Especially when they saw her eyes. Eyes with slits for pupils that widened playfully when she saw their fear. She dealt with them so quickly no one had the heart to intervene. After all she'd spent the whole day trying to be something she wasn't. She turned round when the last one had run screaming like a baby out the door.

"Mr Stark, I thought you had hired security?"

"I did. Can I hire you? Where did you learn that?"

"When you grow up like I did, you learn to fight. And I already have a job."

She sat back down, oblivious to the fact all the gazes at the meeting were now on her and rearranged her notes. Most of the people in the room were wondering who the girl was and what her upbringing had been that meant she could take on an anti-mutant mob single-handed. Ororo saw the Circens frown at one another. Then he leant forward and asked to meet Tora.

The rest of the talks went without a hitch. When it was over Tora was approached by Ororo leading a middle aged couple and a teenager over to her.

"Ororo?"

"Tora, will you meet the Circens. Henri Circen, Esme Circen and Eloise."

"_Bonjour Monsieur, Madame Circen. Et salut Eloise._"

None of them answered. The woman leant in and looked at her closely.

"Henri, I think it's her."

"_Pardon?_"

The man looked at her, taking in the black streak in fiery red and then looked at her eyes.

"_C'est sa! Esme, c'est sa!_"

Tora backed away slightly in confusion. Her lips opened and closed slightly.

"_Pardon Monsieur, Madam? Qu'est-ce-que…?_"

"Marie. Marie is that you? Please let it be you."

"_Pardon? Madame, je ne pas compris…_"

"It is you Marie. I'd know your eyes anywhere. _Cherie _where were you? All this time… Don't you remember us? Oh, Marie what did they do to you?"

Tora's eyes were widening, her face showing an expression of pain, confusion and maybe, just a little bit of comprehension. Stuttering out a word she had held close all this time.

"_Maman?_"

Suddenly she turned and ran, trying hard to get away from things that were hammering on the barriers thrown up around her. Logan came running over.

"What's wrong with Tora?"

Storm was just looking slightly dumbstruck.

"Tora? Is that what you call her? She isn't Tora. She's Marie. Our daughter Marie."

Logan swore.

"You went and told her that straight out didn't you? She's lost and confused and she'd just got it all under control then you come barging in and shatter everything she's built up."

And without another word, the feral mutant went charging after his friend.

* * *

><p>"She is extremely messed up."<p>

"Death, shut up. Do you want to be expelled for excessive talking just as we reach the point you've been dying to see ever since you turned up?"

* * *

><p><em>*I'm working on a 14-year timeline, with the first team of the X-Men starting in 1998 and the ongoing Schism arc happening in 2011.<em>


	16. Accident

**Memories**

Accident

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though. If you want to use her, can you PM me about how you plan to write her.

Logan tracked her to a clearing in the woods. He moved towards her, until he was close enough to see her shoulders shaking. It was only when he got closer that he heard the large gulping breaths she was taking.

"Tora?"

She turned and he saw her face was soaked with tears. She voiced the question he couldn't answer.

"How? How can they be here? After all the searching, they just drop out of the sky and ruin everything."

"You're crying."

"Stupid isn't it. Haven't cried in years. And then they turn up and I can't stop."

He reached out and tried to comfort her. She was scared and alone and afraid of what was being offered to her. He looked into the golden eyes, the eyes that were the only ones that could meet his and see the animal and not look away, and saw the last of the barriers drop away and he could fully understand why she put them up in the first place. They were an ocean of emotion. She felt so deeply, so completely she was forced to shield those she loved from the storms within. Every single piece of pain and hurt and betrayal was swept up in those eyes and squeezed out in the form of salty tears.

And then he felt the emotion in those eyes pull him in and he was kissing her, inhaling her unique scent of mint and coffee. At first she stiffened and he thought he was about to die with a bunch of spilled guts. Then, slowly, tentatively, she began to respond, like a nervous teenager. And that was what caused him to break contact.

"Logan?"

"I shouldn't have done that."

"Logan? Why not?"

"Because you're twenty and I'm who knows how old. Because you don't know what you're doing and I should know better. Because we're supposed to be friends."

"It didn't stop you loving Jean, did it?"

He started at that.

"Who told you about that?"

"It's obvious. Anyone mentions her name and your heartbeat goes through the roof. I'm not blind, no matter how much you want me to be. I'm not a child, even if that's how you see me. But you're right. I don't know what I'm doing. Why can't I control my heartbeat near you? Why do my hormone levels change? Why does my stomach feel like I'm about to throw up? What's wrong with me that means the animal tries to take control every time you walk past? What's so wrong with me that you feel like that one kiss was so terrible?"

He looked at the woman who was now crying even harder. But she was angry as well. Angry at him and the Circens and the world in general that had hurt her so much.

"It wasn't terrible. That's the point. You're closer in age to Kurt or Piotr-"

"Kurt and Piotr are like brothers. And I can't relate to them properly. You're the only one who understands. The only one who understands this."

She pulled her trouser leg up to reveal the brand again.

"The others can't talk properly to me. There's always the fear of what was done to me, the pain that is me. But you understand. At least, I thought you did. But then you have to go and kiss me and confuse me and then back off."

"Tora, please-"

"You have to make a choice now. Pretend this never happened or-"

"I'll take the 'or'. And you know it."

And then he kissed her again, brushing her lips and then wiped away her tears with his sleeve.

"Come on sweetheart. Better get back up to the mansion. And if the other ask, that never happened."

"Why?"

"Cos Kurt'll make our lives misery."

"Oh. And don't call me sweetheart."

* * *

><p>"Oh, how romantic."<p>

"Don't you have other things to do, the sarcasm is dripping from your voice."

"Actually I should get back. I trust Reave but enough to leave him in charge? See you darling."

"Tell Phoenix to come round when she has time."

The dark woman faded away, leaving the other to her musings. Finally. Tora learnt to cry. She learnt to love and to cry and now, finally she was fully human. With all their failings and pitfalls.

* * *

><p>When she walked back up to the mansion she'd managed to stop doing her water fountain impression but was still looking rather red eyed. Inside her heart was singing, every nerve on fire. But none of this was conveyed to those watching. The barriers were back up, but not as strongly as before. She looked up and saw the Professor and the other X-Men with the Circens.<p>

"Tora, would you mind coming into my study?"

Her golden eyes met his blue and she nodded once. Then she looked at the others. Her friends.

"Can the others come as well? I don't want to do this alone."

"Tora?"

"Please Professor. Charles…"

He looked slightly annoyed then nodded.

"Thank you."

The office was slightly crowded with one wheelchair, seven X-Men and a family of three. Tora refused a chair when offered it but stood head slightly down, like a child caught in wrongdoing. Then she looked up with a fierce look in her eyes.

"Before we start I'd like to say something. I don't remember being Marie Circen and if I once was then you should know she's dead. I was recreated. I had to do it to survive. If I was Marie then I died and Xii was born. She may still be in here somewhere but if she is then she'll have broken years ago. Xii survived through pure luck and hiding inside shields. No child could live through what I did. I wasn't a child. I never was."

"Xii?"

"Ororo has told me the story she told you. If you are Tora –Marie's parents then you have the right to know the truth. The X-Men brought her here six months ago after they found her starving and half dead in some sort of facility where she has spent the last eighteen years of her life. Until she was fourteen she was trained to be some sort of living weapon-"

"I was trained to be an assassin, a spy and a saboteur."

"-Thank you for that input Tora. At age fourteen she had the metal adamantium bonded with her bones. Would you care to show them?"

Metal claws chikted into position. Slight gasps of pain and realization that what Xavier said was true masked the noise of them being sheathed back into her hands.

"They then attempted to turn her into the perfect weapon by making her kill a man. She refused and was sold to Victor Creed, a man more commonly known as Sabretooth. She spent six years in his keep before being rescued in December."

"Why did they bring her here?"

"Because the Xavier Institute is a school for mutants."

"More to the point, what did they do to her? She doesn't recognize us at all."

"My memory was wiped when I was taken. I assume I was taken."

"What did they do to you?"

"Ya don't wanna know."

"You're…Logan, right?"

"Yep. Seriously, you don't want to know the state she was in when she came here."

"Why are you here? The others I can understand but you don't look like a youngster to me."

"I'm protection."

"Logan, that's cruel. How many times have we saved your life?"

"Three. Compared to twelve times for you, eight for 'Ro, three for Petey, nine for Scott and once for Tora."

"That transfusion doesn't count."

"Yes it does."

"No it doesn't. Because it was your fault in the first place."

"My fault?"

"You didn't stick to the plan."

Their argument with grins on their faces was interrupted by Esme Circen.

"What do you mean, transfusion?"

The X-Men glanced at one another.

"When you have eight knifes in your hands, accidents are bound to happen."

Tora smiled gratefully at Xavier.

"Logan's mutation meant his blood was the only thing to stop her bleeding."

"I normally heal. It's just my claws stop me healing."

"_Tu cicatrises?_"

Tora glanced around then picked up the Professor's letter opener.

"Tora, what are you doing?"

Before any of them could stop her she brought the sharp edge down her arm in a single fluid motion. Blood spurted and she grimaced in pain.

"Think I severed a major artery."

She held her cut arm close to her body, hoping it would stop quickly. Then she extended it again to reveal a scab that faded to a scar and then disappeared completely.

"_Oui. Je cicatrise_."

"Tora, you shouldn't do that as you well know."

Golden eyes met Xavier's and she shrugged.

"I never really learnt not to hurt myself. If I damaged myself they wouldn't make me train."

"You hurt yourself?"

"Look, people can't understand. Unless you're the same and have the pain in your heart and bones all the time then you can't understand. If you haven't had your organs removed to see how fast they grow back, then you can't understand. I live with all that and all the pain that's still there but it doesn't rule me. I rule the pain. I am pain. But I live because I have people who care. I chose to survive because if I die, if I give in, then they win."

She turned and walked out. Just before she shut the door she looked back in.

"I was never human, mutant or animal. I was just a weapon. I'm trying to change that. Don't try and stop me. Don't try and help me. I need to do this alone."

* * *

><p>Still so many doubts about herself. She was human but now she doubted. But doubts were part of being human. She was desperate to escape her past but she did it in her way. She hated owing debts.<p> 


	17. Becoming

**Memories**

Becoming

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Logan's eyes narrowed in the bright Provencial noon. He didn't want to be here, alone with Tora, but reports of Sabretooth near her family's home had caused her to beg him to come. He still didn't know his exact feelings towards her. Their relationship wasn't physical. They spent more time talking than doing any of the usual stuff couples did. They couldn't really. He didn't want the others to know. It wasn't like Mariko although that hadn't worked out. It wasn't even like Jean. Instead it was…he didn't know what it was. She wasn't like anyone he'd met. Or to be more precise she wasn't like anyone he remembered meeting. So fragile yet so strong. Broken yet unbreakable.

Her parents came rushing out and hugged her. She didn't hug them back. In the month since she'd found out who she really was, she'd become much quieter, retreating into herself. She spent more and more time outside, especially when it was raining. She'd sit in down by the lake, legs curled under her and hum that tune she seemed to love. Over and over again. He asked her why she loved it when the words were so sad. And she'd smiled and said sometimes you needed just a little sadness in your life to appreciate the good times. Then they'd brushed lips and sat for the rest of the night talking.

They showed him the guest room then taken her to the room that had once been hers. It was as different from her room back in the States as possible. Whilst that was all cool, dark colours this room was decorated in warm pastels. It was the girl she had been not the woman she was. The happy child with a family and hope, not the scarred woman with fears and little chance of a real life. That girl had died, replaced by someone who had to hide behind walls of steel to feel safe. She looked lost and alone on the brand new bed that had been bought for her visit. No matter how she'd tried to explain that she wasn't the same person, they ignored her. His eyes met hers and she mouthed 'Later' and jerked her head towards the window, towards the woods that surrounded the secluded villa deep in the heart of Southern France. So he'd went back to his room and found Eloise standing outside. She looked lonely so he asked her what was wrong. He hadn't expected the outpouring of the soul.

"I don't know why Maman and Papa had me. All they wanted was their Marie back. Their precious Marie. The red-haired baby who laughed and giggled, not a sullen _enfant_ who never really put down roots. And she's not at all like they described her."

"Eloise, your sister's had a difficult childhood. Think about it this way. Your life can't have been worse than hers. I've seen some of the scars she has and they ain't pretty. But what's worse is how her mind was messed with. For a while after she came she'd flinch if we moved too suddenly. She'd obey any commands we gave her as if her life depended on it. You may not have had a lot of love but you've been fed and I bet your parents have never raised a hand to you. Well Tora –Marie as you call her –she was almost beaten to death when she was five. When she came to stay with us, she was so thin you could see her ribs. And for six years she'd been in the –I won't call it care –possession, of Victor Creed who's one of the most twisted, evil, foul mutants you'll ever meet. She'd eaten what she had to survive and she was still half dead when she was found."

Eloise looked slightly shocked at she managed to put what Logan was saying into perspective.

"_Mais _she still was rescued by _le_ X-Men. I'd do anything to meet Nightcrawler. He's so cool. And Storm…"

Suddenly a look of comprehension dawned on her face.

"_L'Institue_…"

Logan put a finger to his lips and grinned. The kid was smart. Then he snikted out one of his claws.

"_Vous êtes le Carcajou, vous êtes Wolverine._"

Then she looked even more excited, if that was possible

"_Marie est Tigress, correctement?_"

He didn't speak much French. German, Japanese, Russian, Spanish, yep he could hold his own in any conversation. But French? He knew enough to understand what she was saying and how to answer.

"_Oui."_

There was a look of pure delight on her face.

"It's our secret, OK?"

"_D'accord, c'est nous secret. Mais c'est tellement cool!_"

"_Qu'est-ce-que c'est 'tellement cool' Eloise?_"

Tora was standing there looking slightly amused.

"_Vous êtes Tigress_."

"_Tu, pas vous Eloise. Apres tout, c'est souers. Et c'est vrai, je suis Tigress._"

Logan was now beginning to feel a little left out by all this conversing in rapid French.

"Will somebody translate please?"

Tora turned with a slight look of embarrassment on her face.

"_Désolé._ Sorry Logan. I forgot. You wanted to go for a walk?"

"I'll come!"

They both bit their lips. They hadn't had a proper chance to be alone for a while. First there had been some trouble with Magneto but that had turned out to be an impostor. Then they'd teamed-up with the Avengers to bring down a rampaging robot in Manhattan. Spider-Man had shown up but he hadn't been needed. At any rate, it had been a good time to introduce Tora to those who didn't know her. And since they'd arrived here on a commercial flight (the Blackbird being out of commission again), they'd been surrounded by a series of relatives, all of whom wanted to see the miraculous return of the stolen child. He wanted some time alone with her and he could see she felt the same way. And now her teenage sister wanted to go with them.

"Eloise…"

Suddenly the girl's eyes widened and she appeared to suppress a giggle.

"Oh. So I take it you two X-Men want some time alone to 'train', _oui?_"

Somehow she knew. Somehow she'd seen through all their layers of pretence and guessed about them. But no one, not even Chuck had guessed. That was one astute kid.

"_Merci beaucoup Eloise_."

They hurried outside, across the hot drive outside and into the cool shade the trees provided.

"That's one clever kid."

"Yes. But I don't think she's very happy."

"She seems to think her parents cared more about you –or their vision of you –than her."

She sighed and let the layers of protection slip away from her eyes and stance. Now she was walking with a lighter tread, almost stalking. She didn't even do that with the other X-Men. It was when with him, and him alone that she let her animal out. And it was a proud and powerful animal, like the tigress she took as her name. When she was like that she became grace and power personified. It was in those moments she looked beautiful. Most of the time she was standing next to Storm and few men would ever see the small, slight, almost masculine figure next to the beautiful, exotic Ororo. She camouflaged herself effectively, hiding in plain sight. Late development had meant she'd never be 'well-endowed' in the chest area but she didn't seem to mind. Her body was more muscle than anything else and as far as he knew, she resisted all Kitty's attempts to allow a razor near her legs. Something about the hair being a natural part of her mutation, allowing her effective insulation from the cold. At any rate, her arms, whenever he actually saw them, had a layer of dark hair, nowhere near as thick as his, but obvious. She didn't pay much attention to her appearance. There was something refreshing about her hatred of changing her looks to pander to standards of beauty. But then, she didn't seem to care about beauty. She'd learnt the hard way that looks didn't matter. When people hurt you, you don't care what they look like.

They walked together in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. That was another thing that was different about her. She could make silence as good as words. A lot of things could be said in their periods of silence. He moved towards her, wrapped his arm around her waist and she leant her head on his shoulder. She was about the same height as him but nowhere near as stocky. They continued to walk like that for a long time before anyone spoke.

"Are you afraid?"

She turned her golden eyes that glimmered with fear to his glacial blue.

"What do you think Logan? I still have nightmares."

He'd heard her screaming in the night. But he'd never given in to the temptation to go in and chase the nightmares away. He might end up being the worse nightmare if he lost control. Partially because she was different from all the others he didn't want to ruin it by rushing their relationship. And in some ways she was so childlike.

"If Creed attacks, are ya going to fold?"

"Logan. I may be scared of him but don't you dare suggest fear will stop me fighting."

She pulled away. He should have learnt by now. She was fine as long as you didn't show doubt at her fighting skills. If anything, fear would make her more dangerous. She seemed annoyed at him though and he just waited when she walked off. She'd need a little time to get it out of her system. When she came back she didn't move in to return to their prior position but stood slightly away from him. He could only assume he'd hurt her deeper than he'd thought.

"There are tracks in the wood. And Creed's scent everywhere."

"Here?"

"Yeah. I'll show you."

She walked quickly, moving through the woods although without her usual grace. He could only assume fear made her like that. When they reached the clearing he gaped. There had been a fight here. Blood was everywhere and it smelt of Creed and …Tora? He turned just in time to see her fist come out of nowhere and slam into his face, knocking him unconscious.

* * *

><p>The woman sighed slightly. Of course he thought it was her. In a way it was.<p> 


	18. The Other

**Memories**

The Other

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

She was smiling cruelly at him when he woke up.

"Tora…?"

"Oh, I'm not Tora. She is."

He looked to where she was pointing and struggled against the chains that were holding him. Tora, the real Tora, was being held up by one arm, Creed twisting it almost 180 degrees. She raised her head and he saw the cuts and bruises of a bad beating just beginning to fade.

"My thanks Runt for bringing my little pet back."

Her eyes were dark with fear and sorrow. When she spoke, she was in obvious pain.

"Logan. Sorry. Didn't smell them coming."

"Shut up you worthless piece of trash!"

Suddenly she was dangling from one of his huge hands, claws digging into her neck, blood welling up so Logan could smell it.

"You look a lot better than you did seven months ago. I'll enjoy this."

She was trying to fight, trying and failing desperately. The other woman, the one who looked and smelt like her walked over and hit her in the stomach.

"You're nothing. Just an imitation of me. You're a clone. A shadow of the real Marie. And that's me."

Tora was trying harder to get away, animal rising to the surface in panic. She struck out at Creed, claws catching in his clothes.

"Gotta try harder than that frail."

The woman who claimed to be the true Tora laughed at the other woman's obvious pain as Sabretooth's claws dug deeper into her windpipe.

"Leave her for later. I'll watch them. You go and deal with…the plan."

Creed grinned, then threw Tora across the room so she landed limply at Logan's feet. Her eyes, that almost looked defeated, bore into him. How could Creed do this to her? He'd already shattered her confidence. And now he was threatening to hurt her even more. When he'd left to put whatever plan he was doing into action the other woman strutted over.

"Wolverine I assume. Such a pity all you ever saw was my shadow. I was Weapon X-ii, the success. That there was a failure. But what would you expect of a clone? They gave her adamantium as well and not just in her claws. No, she got the full skeleton. What a joke. Such a pity."

Now he was closer he could see all the differences between her and his Tora. She'd put on make-up while he was out. She hadn't changed her clothes though but he could bet when she wasn't disguised as his Tora, she'd wear something revealing. And the eyes were bitter and harsh while hers were shielded but caring. Suddenly Tora's hand snaked out and she tugged the other woman over. By now her injuries had healed and she quickly broke through his chains. Then the other woman hit him and he blacked out for a second. When his senses cleared he panicked. The two women were now both covered in blood, both had smooth metal claws out. And he couldn't tell the difference. Both smelt of Creed. He didn't dare fight when he could injure his sort-of-girlfriend. Not that it was really official or anything. More a sort of understanding.

The two were equal as injuries from their claws didn't heal. One swung out and missed, the other brought her hand down over the right side of the first's face, splattering the black stripe of hair with red. The injured one howled then struck out, sending the other flying. The downed woman looked up at Logan with pleading golden eyes.

"Help me."

That sank it. He struck out at the woman at his feet, pinning her down. The bloodsoaked woman looked at him with a grimace of pain.

"How did you know I was me?"

"You asking for help? Give me a break."

"Congratulations Miss Circen. Managing to beat your clone like that. I'm impressed."

The woman pinned between Logan's arms screamed.

"LIAR! I AM THE FIRST! I AM THE TRUE ONE!"

Creed was smiling, like he was enjoying the show.

"Actually, you were the clone. I…edited your memory and brain pattern. It's a pity only claws were adamantium. I could have done with some for fightin' the runt."

Logan slammed his captive's head down to knock her out and followed Tora into the attack on Creed. He felt quite happy she was so defensive of him,

"LOGAN IS NOT A RUNT, YOU OVERGROWN-"

At this point she was winded with a blow to a stomach so whatever she thought Creed was, she didn't get a chance to say. He sort of wished she'd had time to finish the comment. But by now the adrenalin was pushing intelligible thought out of the way. There was just dodging and striking, two-on-one animal brawling. But she was having trouble seeing, the blood from her mutilated face dripping into her eyes, throwing her vision into turmoil. In the end she had to pull back to try and stop the bleeding. In the end Creed decided it would be easier to run. When Logan turned he saw all the bleeding from her fight with the clone.

"Cut them out."

She was looking at him with the single eye he could see. And he understood. She yelped as he tried to carefully cut her skin. He didn't want to do this. She'd had enough pain but if he didn't do this she'd have even more scars. But when he came to her face he knew he couldn't help her. The cuts went to the bone so he could see the dull metal of her skull. They had pierced into her mouth. He couldn't cut away the contamination without hurting her too much. At least the cuts were clean. Four parallel lines, from forehead to jaw, cutting over the brow but somehow managing to miss the eye.

"You need a proper doctor to see to this."

She nodded slightly and he realized it couldn't be as bad as falling on her own claws. Then she turned and gave a cat-like hiss.

"She's gone."

He turned and saw a trail of red dots peppered on the ground. They both began to follow the scent, injuries forgotten. It was when they heard the scream they realized what had happened.

"Eloise!"

She pushed past him and ran faster than he thought possible. She may not be close to her parents but she'd come to like her younger sister. He hadn't known exactly why until he'd talked to her earlier. She was smart and in some ways very grown up. But when he got to the point in the woods and saw her confusion at seeing two of her sister, one bleeding from numerous injuries, the other with her face torn open it hit him she was 15. The same age as Kitty. She'd obviously been attacked and now the two women were fighting. Only this time it was different. It wasn't testing each other's limits, pushing then retreating. This was a proper fight with both knowing how the other fought and both determined to beat the other. One desperate to protect, the other to lash out and hurt. But now he knew which was which. He dived in to help her and the other her ran yelping, like a wounded dog. He was all for going after her but Tora was trying to pick up Eloise and go back.

"We need a doctor for her. Please Logan, I need help on this one."

* * *

><p>So typically her. She was incapable of asking for help for herself but she needed help with her sister. So he dropped the chase and helped her carry her sister back to the house where there was a lot of screaming, accusations thrown and panic.<p>

She watched in silence as Tora absorbed the pain of having her face stitched up. She couldn't exactly tell the doctor the painkillers didn't work. She'd insisted on having Logan there. She gave the reason that the doctor she normally went to would want to know exactly what was used and she wasn't in a fit state to remember. Their fingers had interlaced and the doctor hadn't noticed. They'd got back and the stitches had been rejected. But by then the flesh had begun to knit together. She wore a power suppressor for as long as she dared before she began puking up from adamantium poisoning. And also watched the movies suggested by the other X-Men. Then she'd walked out into the pouring rain. The woman smiled slightly and reached up to her mask. Slender fingers traced over the carved ice.

* * *

><p>Logan was walking out in the rain. Her hair was plastered to her head and she was looking upwards into the clouds. She turned and he saw the left side of her face first. The unblemished side. Then she turned to look at him fully and he saw the scars. Nothing anyone could do would get rid of them. They weren't like normal scars. The skin was perfectly unchanged until the sudden dark lines that now dominated her face. The edge of her mouth was twisted around the first scar. All four had ruined any chance of her ever leading a normal life without an image-inducer on permanently. And he knew her fierce animal pride wouldn't allow that. She was too like him in that respect.<p>

"Shouldn't you come in? It's chuckin' it down."

"I love the rain. It makes me feel alive. There never used to be rain."

She stretched a hand up to the heavens to catch the water then let it trickle away through her fingers.

"But it's polluted. All the water smells of acid and smoke and humanity."

She looked sad. He knew she hated the scents of cars and smoke. She spent a lot of time outside, just sitting or standing in the rain or sun. For some reason she now avoided the mansion, only spending time there to eat, sleep and train. She turned her eyes on him. Now, whenever she was alone with him the barriers would drop. It was partially because she trusted him to be able to let them down, partially a need for someone to understand. He couldn't help but shudder at the mutilation of a face that would have been beautiful. If it hadn't been for the age in the eyes that shouldn't have been there. For a short while the promise had been there. That if, in a few years, she was able to put her past behind her, something beautiful would have appeared, like a butterfly from a cocoon. But a single mistake had destroyed that. One second of hesitation from driving her claws into a living, beating heart and no amount of surgery would ever hide the scars.

"It troubles you doesn't it?"

She had no trouble reading him now. She knew when to back off and when to push a point. She was

pretty much the only X-Man who dared to look him in the eye. And tell him straight to his face when he started being obnoxious. And then didn't run away.

"Come on. Slim wants you to get a physical just to make sure you're OK to go."

"Scott knows full well I'm fine."

"Well we can go back in. Or just go for a walk?"

She smiled and slid out a hand. Scott was probably going to kill them but he threatened to kill them every other day so what was the difference? As soon as they were out of sight of the house he brushed the scars with one hand and noticed she flinched.

"I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's fine. They're just sore after that time with the collar."

"I can't believe you volunteered to wear that thing."

"It was that or bleed on the carpet. And Charles is annoyed enough at me already."

"What did you do to annoy him?"

"I sort of used the banister as a scratching post."

"You mean the banister on the staircase that was original and has survived all the attacks on the mansion so far?"

"Sort of that banister. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know catnip had that affect on me. Neither did Kurt."

"Great. My girlfriend goes crazy around catnip."

She dropped his hand and stepped back a bit.

"Did you mean that?"

"What?"

"The girlfriend comment?"

He looked into the eyes that had a slight hint of fear in them. She thought he was teasing her. She was preparing for him to hurt her like she'd been hurt before only worse.

"Course I meant it. We're a couple OK?"

She smiled weakly and he couldn't help but kiss her.

* * *

><p>A soft voice startled the woman out of her reverie.<p>

"Death said you'd missed me."

"Hello Phoenix."

"You know to call me Jean."

The red hair, green-eyed woman in a white costume stepped into the light.

"I'm sorry about the whole burning away the universe thing. It's how I work, remember? Just like it's your job to try and stop me."

"It's fine Jean. I knew it was going to happen. Frankly I'm amazed you took so long. Everything was going stagnant."

"You've changed since we last met. Have you become bitter?"

The woman turned to look at her 'sister'. They were dark and light, fire and ice but they got on.

"How close are you to finishing the reserves in the Stores?"

"Close. Just enough left for some…pondering."

Jean Grey-Summers, also known as Marvel Girl, Phoenix, Red, Jeannie and at a few down points in her life Dark Phoenix, Ravager of Worlds, but no one mentioned that if they were smart, sat beside the woman in black.

"You're still getting upset about it aren't you?"

"It's fine for you. You chose to be Phoenix. I just got told I had to do this and I never got a chance to back out."

"Yeah. I sort of know what you mean. Do you mind if I…?"

"Sit down, enjoy the party. You're about to come back as it is."


	19. Renaissance

**Memories**

Renaissance

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

They were sitting on a log by the lake, close to one another, but with enough space between them to dart apart if anyone came within sight of them. They were always careful when people could see them. Him out of fear of what the others would say, her out of a need to have something precious to herself. He looked at her, with her golden eyes gazing into the distance.

"We could do more couple stuff if you want us to?"

"Like what?"

"Go see plays, films. Go out to dinner together or something."

She smiled that infuriating smile that made it look like she knew more than she was letting on.

"I think I'd like that."

They both smiled slightly shyly at one another when a whiff of brimstone sent them to opposite ends of the log.

"Hey Elf."

"Logan…you have to come now! It's…it's…it's-"

"What? Skrulls invading, Magneto blowing stuff up? What?"

"It's Jean. She's back!"

Logan was up faster than you could see.

"What do you mean 'she's back'?"

"I mean, the FF have just called and she's on her way over NOW!"

"WHAT!"

Logan didn't give him time to answer, he just ran back up to the mansion as fast as he could. Kurt sighed.

"Fraulien Tora, would you like me to escort you up to the house?"

She grinned and reached out a hand. There was a 'BAMF' of imploding air and both disappeared.

* * *

><p>"How did she react to that?"<p>

"She didn't understand then. Not how he once felt. And how he still felt in a way. Would you mind me watching this from your point of view?"

"Go ahead."

* * *

><p>Jean looked around the mansion. The others were all coming out, laughing, crying and generally acting as though all their Christmases had come early. Ororo had pulled her into a hug and she'd seen Scott standing slightly apart with a huge smile on his face.<p>

"So Scott, Charles, Ororo, Piotr and Kitty are here. Where are Kurt and Wolverine?"

Half her question was answered when Logan burst into the hall looking slightly out of breath. Then a brimstone stench made her nose wrinkle and she saw Kurt. Whose arm was being held by a short redhead with her back to her. She was wearing jeans and a loose checked shirt and her orangey-red hair fell straight down to the small of her back. A black streak ran down the right side of her head. She turned and the first thing Jean fixed on were the scars. Four of them, running down her face to her jaw. Then she saw her eyes and almost- almost- recoiled. The golden irises were slightly outlarged for her eyes and her pupils were slits, like a cat's. But as she watched they enlarged, becoming more rounded but still not fully circular.

"Kurt, remind me never to bamf with you again."

"Of course Tora. Next time you may walk."

"Logan beat us here, if you hadn't noticed."

Kurt didn't answer because he'd just seen Jean.

"_Fraulien!_"

And Jean was suddenly being hugged by the damp mutant who now smelt of wet dog.

"_Excusez-moi, mais_ who is this?"

Everyone turned to look at the new mutant in slight shock.

"_Désolé,_ but nobody talks about her. You all go shifty when I ask."

"I'm Jean Grey, one of the original X-Men. I've…er…been away for a while. Who are you?"

"Tora. Properly I suppose I'm Marie Circen but I'm not very good at remembering that."

Jean carefully reached out to see if she could find her mind and found…nothing? Until she found the tiny pinprick in the astral plain where the centre of the newcomer's mind should be. Who was this person who wasn't even slippery like the few people with natural telepathic shields. She just wasn't there at all. Then something she'd said registered.

"You're Marie Circen? Where have you been the last 18 years?"

The golden-eyed woman's gaze met hers and she felt like a predator was staring her straight in the face.

"I go by the name of Tora. And as for where I've been? You don't want to know."

This person of so many secrets turned and walked out of the mansion, back into the pouring rain.

* * *

><p>"When I first met her I wondered why on Earth Charles had allowed her into the mansion."<p>

"That was before you found out, wasn't it?"

"You can imagine how terrible I felt when she finally told me about her past."

* * *

><p>Ororo, Kitty and Jean were going out to catch up on things Jean had missed when the Phoenix Force had been masquerading as her.<p>

"Is Tora coming Ororo?"

Jean glanced round. She wasn't certain she wanted the newcomer to the mansion going out with her. There were so many unknowns about her. She also seemed to be distant and imperious, with her scars and aged eyes. It was like she'd been looking at Jean and saying "I know more than you do. I've done more than you'll ever do. I've seen more than you could ever dream of seeing."

"Hey Tora! We're going out! Do you want to come?"

Curse that child.

"I am afraid I cannot come Kitty. I planned to train tonight and I also offered to help Logan strip down his bike. And your companion doesn't like me very much."

Jean stared at this intruder into life with the X-Men.

"How do you know that?"

"Your body language suggests disdain for me and your fight or flight hormone levels flair up when you see me. It suggests you wish to fight me because I am an interloper into your group."

And without bothering to listen to a reply, the infuriating woman walked off towards the Danger Room. Jean glowered after her.

"Why on Earth is she with the X-Men?"

Kitty immediately leapt to the defence of the woman she'd known longer.

"Tora's great. She just doesn't relate to people well. And with what happened to her, it's amazing she's not a homicidal manic."

"What did happen to her then 'Ro?"

"I'm sorry Jean, but that's Tora's story and I wouldn't tell it without her permission."

* * *

><p>"I didn't realize how you felt about her when you returned."<p>

"I'm ashamed of it now. But she was someone I didn't know, an exotic woman with all those scars and those eyes and I kept thinking, what if Scott fell in love with her?"

"She never saw herself as beautiful. She saw things in animal terms. She wasn't a mate to be desired because she had been injured badly. But because she had survived those things, she was a mate to be desired. It was a matter of weighing up the permanent injuries with how she'd survived them."

"I used to fear her animal instincts. Until I realized people didn't talk about them. Just like they didn't talk about Phoenix. She didn't fear it. Probably because the animal saw there was nothing to fear."

* * *

><p>Jean could hear the noises from the Danger Room. Who was running it this late at night? She walked downstairs and looked into the control room. Warning lights were flashing. All the safety parameters had been switched off. She looked in and saw the new woman in an orange and black costume fighting robot versions of the original Brotherhood. She was perched on Blob's head, counting things off on her fingers. Intrigued, Jean turned on the microphones.<p>

"I can't cook pork, Kitty doesn't eat it. It's probably best to go with steak because I know Logan likes that and Scott eats it…"

She leapt into the air just as Magneto sent a blast at her that missed and fried the Blob robot's circuits. She was moving quickly now, kicking the Mastermind robot in the groin as she started listing vegetables. She was moving with a grace and power that Jean had never seen before. Actually, she had seen it once. On a nature program when they showed a tiger hunting. It was the same smooth flowing muscular motion, the same ruthlessness when she slammed her hands into the Quicksilver robot and removed a part that was apparently vital. Then the Scarlet Witch sent in hex bolt right into her chest and the woman fell. Only to struggle back up and spun a kick that smashed into the robots face. Now she was going toe-to-toe with Magneto and listing the kitchen equipment she'd need. Suddenly she was twisted up into the air. But how when her uniform didn't have any metal in it? Smooth metal claws slid out of the woman's clenched fists and she slashed at the Magneto robot. That was how. She was just a Wolverine wannabe. But a good one. She was capable of destroying almost the whole Brotherhood. She twisted and her claws somehow managed to smash into Magneto's helmet, shattering his circuitry and causing her to drop to the floor.

She landed neatly then without even looking up spat out the words,

"Enjoy the show?"

Jean turned on the speakers so she could hear her answer.

"Aren't you just a wannabe Logan?"

The face surrounded in burnished black metal turned towards her.

"My handlers wanted me to be that. Not me."

"Your handlers? What are you, a zoo exhibit?"

"I was less than that Miss Grey. You with your perfect life can't understand."

"I wouldn't call my life perfect. I've been missing for two years and I've just found out the man I loved got married and divorced while I was away."

"Whereas I live with poison in my bones and military knowledge in my head. I'm sorry, your disappearance really puts my suffering into perspective."

This blatant sarcasm annoyed Jean even more.

"So what did you suffer?"

The empty eye covers looked up at her and she knew behind them those golden eyes would be fixed on her unblinking.

"While you enjoyed your first mission with the X-Men, I was having my bones pumped full of poisonous metal. While you swanned around as Marvel Girl, I was in the hands of Sabretooth. When you lived a charmed life with your family, I was being tortured because I wouldn't kill a man. While you chose this path, I've been steered down it since I was two years old."

She gave a bitter laugh.

"Miss Grey, may I present Weapon X-ii. The perfect spy, solider, saboteur and assassin. The child who was tortured because she had one extra strand of DNA. But I haven't suffered as much as you have, let's hear your heartwrenching story."

Jean was looking at the woman gazing up at her with a determined set in her mouth. Now she looked harder she could see the wariness in her stance, the fear that made her so dangerous. This was someone who had been torn apart and was picking up the pieces of her life and then she came in as if she owned the place, someone the others all liked and tried to exclude her. Of course she was upset and hurt that Jean tried to ignore her.

"I'm sorry. I…I…"

The other woman walked out, leaving Jean to deal with her feelings of confusion and anger.

"Why is this woman so cold?"

* * *

><p>"Fire and ice those two."<p>

"Tell me about it. She just blew off all attempts to be friendly."

"Hasn't it occurred to you she sensed Logan's attraction to you?"

"They were going out at that point?"

"Oh, yes I forgot you didn't know. Oops."

* * *

><p>She slammed her hands into the wall, leaving impressions of her fists. Stupid, beautiful woman, with her head of fire and green eyes and soft scent. The woman who Logan appeared to love. Why? But he'd never told her to her face that he loved her. It had always been talking about other stuff, like training or things they remembered. She couldn't control the feelings inside her, the pure anger and confusion. She knew she was being stupid and she was acting on instinct about him but she couldn't help it. The animal had looked around, found the male with the best traits for survival and the alpha personality and latched on. The more rational parts of her mind had simply followed on. It was an ancient instinct, the instinct to have the alpha male, the one who would survive. Only in her it was amplified by her very nature.<p>

A knocking on the door sent her scurrying into the bathroom where she locked the door and turned the shower on full blast. It was Logan. She heard him come in and knew he was scenting the air to find out where she was.

"Tora, I know you're not in the shower. Your coffee's still hot."

Stupid coffee. She knew she'd forgotten something.

"You're avoiding me. Why?"

He heard her knock something over in the bathroom. Ever since Jean had come back she'd been edgy. And Jean didn't seem to like her. Wait! Jean! Of course. She could tell his attraction to her hadn't faded and she was distancing herself from him. Stupid, stupid, stupid. And now she was hiding in the bathroom. Which was the sort of thing a teenaged girl would do.

"Have you been talking to Kitty again?"

"_Non!_"

He heard more noises, like she'd tripped and knocked the shampoo over. At any rate, something that sounded quite rude in French was murmured.

"_La menthè est…_"

"Come on Tora. Please come out."

"_NON!_"

He dropped his voice, pleading now and hoping against hope no one would walk in on him begging Tora to leave the bathroom.

"Come on Tora. You're behaving like a teenager. I thought we could go out later and…"

He didn't get any further. She opened the door and was glaring at him. Her eyes were narrowed and he could tell she wasn't ready to believe him yet.

"_Et Jean?_"

"Jeannie doesn't even look at me Tora. You know she's eyes only for Slim."

The sharp lines around her eyes softened and he knew in a few more seconds he'd win her over. He just had to be careful.

"And you heard me calling you my girlfriend."

She smiled and he relaxed. He wasn't going to end up mauled by a cheesed off girlfriend.

"Just as long as there isn't any catnip involved, I'll be fine."

He laughed.

"One of these days I'm going to see what happened when Kurt hid the cat toy in your room."

"It's embarrassing."

"Even better."

* * *

><p>"Catnip?"<p>

"You were never there when they tried it. Think big pussy cat on steroids with metal claws."

"Oh."

"Yep."


	20. Confessions

**Memories**

Confessions

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

It had been an almost perfect night. Jean had apparently caught Tora leaving but she'd answered the question of where she was going with a cursory "_Sortir_". Logan had left half an hour later and caught her up on his bike. He'd taken her to a Japanese restaurant he went to a lot and they'd talked about how they were together. She asked him about Jean and suddenly he'd found himself talking about the past he remembered. All the pain and blood and one-night-stands. And she'd listened and not judged and tried to comfort him when he remembered Mariko and Silver Fox. She hadn't been angry or hurt that he wanted to talk about them. More she understood and let him get it all out. Then she'd given him directions to a park outside the city and they'd sat and watched the stars. Then a band of red fire burst through the sky, which was joined by a strip of green. And as these bands of light lit up the sky, he looked over and saw her mutilated face and realized it had happened again. He'd fallen in love with the wrong person. She wasn't like the others. She had the adamantium, tough as nails exterior but inside she was hurting far too much. And she had a Past. Which deserved capitalisation.

She was gazing up into the sky when she felt him move closer. Five little words sent her reeling.

"I think I love you."

And under the stars they kissed gently before getting up and going back to the mansion.

* * *

><p>"I really was an obnoxious…"<p>

"No profanities in the Library please."

"Oh, I forgot your feelings about swear words."

"She didn't swear either. Other than that time when she was thirteen and had her neck broken for punishment."

* * *

><p>"Where has she been going the last few weeks Chuck?"<p>

"I've already told you Logan, I can't find Tora. And if she wants some time alone, then it's her business."

Logan snarled as he turned away. She'd been disappearing every weekend for two or three hours. She would just grab a coat and walk out, without telling anyone where she was going or what she was doing. He'd tried to worm it out of her, tried to get Kurt to worm it out of her, tried to get Charles to order it out of her. But to no avail. She'd just not answer the question or start talking rapidly in French to throw him off the scent. He was really contemplating French lessons. But "_Je t'aime_" didn't exactly require translation. She asked him once if she could tell the others about them but he'd said no and she'd dropped it.

This time he was going to follow her. She was his frail, even if she'd gut him if she heard him refer to her as that, and he was going to look out for her. She was walking fast, almost as if she knew she was being followed. She'd double back and go down alleys, all in an attempt to shake him off. And if he were a normal person, not a mutant with a highly developed sense of smell, he'd have lost her about eight times now. Then she turned into a building and Logan did a double take. A church. She was going into a church? OK, now he needed to talk to Kurt. But first he was going to get a drink.

* * *

><p>"I never understood why she took to religion like that."<p>

"She needed help that Charles and the others couldn't give and she saw how Kurt was so sure in his faith so she went along one week and well, she kept going back."

"You'd think with her past, she'd be more atheist."

"Actually it made her more theist. She sort of lost hope in humanity so she tried to find something better."

* * *

><p>Kurt was uncertain exactly why Logan wanted him to do this talk but he could understand why he out of all the X-Men had been asked to talk to her.<p>

"Tora, Logan said you went to a church this week."

She turned her golden eyes that had softened slightly since July.

"Why does that matter?"

"I was just wondering…why?"

"Because…because…I need something to hope for. A promise of something better than this."

She gestured at herself with a slight hint of despair.

"And because they accept me as what I am. There was someone at the facility who used to talk to me. Treat me like I was more than a weapon. He used to quote parts of Scripture to me. And you…"

"Me?"

"You're so sure. So happy. So I wanted to see what it was that made you you. It was only supposed to be once but I ended up going back. They welcomed me. I don't need an image inducer there. They know I'm a mutant. They think my face was damaged in an anti-mutant protest. I think I've found what I believe. It helps me cope with doubt about myself."

Kurt smiled widely.

"Welcome to our faith Tora."

She smiled slightly at him and her eyes sparkled.

* * *

><p>"She kept going didn't she?"<p>

"Yes. Every time she could. Which wasn't very often when you continue to save the world."

* * *

><p>It was Christmas and Tora was just nearing the year mark with the X-Men. And her birthday was apparently just after that but she insisted they didn't make a fuss about it. She claimed she didn't have good memories of birthdays. She wouldn't go into more detail than that except to hang her head and murmur something in French. Thankfully she'd got on better with Jean since that night on the hillside and had gradually warmed up to her so the two were now inseparable. You'd walk in on the three X-Women having a chat in the sitting room and be glared at until you left. Sometimes Kitty would be there to.<p>

She stepped into the hall, feeling self-conscious in the Japanese kimono she'd found wrapped up outside her door in the morning. She had been prepared to wear her usual loose shirt and jeans but she had a sneaking suspicion someone had spent quite a lot on the dress, even if it wasn't exactly her style. She was standing around, feeling like an idiot when Kurt stepped in and did a double take.

"One word Kurt, and your tail will be hanging from the ceiling without you attached to it."

"I wasn't going to say anything Tora, I promise. I brought your present."

"Thanks Fuzzy. I have yours somewhere. This stupid outfit doesn't have any pockets. At least I added those pouches to my belt otherwise I'd go mad."

"So I assume your…erm…unusual attire was a gift?"

"Well if a gift is something found wrapped up outside your room, then yes it's a gift."

Kurt gave one of his impish grins and she laughed back.

"Found it. It's not very original but…"

Kurt opened the tiny packet to find a rosary, wooden beads looking as if they had been whittled away by a knife. Or by claws.

"You made this for me?"

"It's not like I can get the Professor to buy your presents for me. So I improvised."

"Open yours. I'm afraid it's second hand but I think you'll like it."

She flung her arms around him and brought him into an impulsive hug. Something she wouldn't have done six months ago, no matter what.

"Kurt, _c'est belle_."

A tiny silver cross hanging from a chain.

"A friend of mine gave it to me at the circus. He told me to pass it on."

"Thanks Kurt. I know it means a lot to you."

"You mean a lot to all of us."

The two friends stepped into the sitting room and there was a shocked silence. Tora hadn't worn a dress since the first few days she had been here. That time undercover on a stake out at Stark Industries didn't count. Apparently he couldn't relax the rules on female office workers wearing skirts without it looking suspicious. She'd got very close to attacking him. She glared around the room.

"One word from anyone about this…"

She left the threat hanging in the air. Why, oh, why had she decided to wear this kimono? She slid the drawstring bag off her back and sighed.

"I think I have everyone's present here. Since this dress hasn't got any pockets, I had to resort to the bag."

She noticed Logan shifting slightly. Ha! Got him.

Laughter and a lot of teasing ensured. Kitty was teased about two years back and wrecking the mansion, so of course Jean and Tora had to be filled in on that. As Tora was walking from one end of the room to another, Kurt ambushed her with a piece of mistletoe.

"_Mien Fruends_, I have succeeded in making Tora blush. I think we should all humiliate her further."

The red flush sneaking up her face was enough to cause Piotr to lean over and peck her check, turning her crimson.

"Logan! Seeing as you're officially single, will you help in our attempt to turn Tora red?"

Shifting slightly, Logan tried to look anywhere but at Kurt, who was grinning hopefully at him. It was all he could do to stop himself from striking out. He caught the slight smirk on Slim's lips and decided he might as well play along. She was wearing the kimono he'd bought her. It suited her but he had a feeling she wouldn't wear it often. She was too practical for that. Jean wore skirts, so did 'Ro and Kitty but Tora never did. He leant forward to brush the scarred side of her face only for her to turn her face at the last second and catch his mouth with hers. He heard the gasps of astonishment from around the room but he decided to enjoy the moment. She rarely kissed him. It was normally the other way around. When she broke contact he looked into the golden eyes that were challenging him. Testing to see if he'd play it down or tell the truth.

"Well I don't think Logan classes as single any more Kurt."

It was going to be OK. They weren't going to make snide comments or try and hurt him about this.

"They are **so** not allowed to be alone together."

"If you come near us with a camera Elf, you will so regret it."

"He won't see me. He'll just pick up you so I'm fine with that."

"You're supposed to back me up here!"

* * *

><p>Phoenix giggled and then noticed the other woman giving her a Look.<p>

"What?"

"You're a cosmic entity. We don't, I repeat, don't giggle."

"Oh, you're such a stick in the mud."

"Perhaps I'm having an identity crisis because you burned away the entire Universe."

"No need to rub it in. It's my job."


	21. Catnip

**Memories**

Catnip

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Kurt had been planning to watch a few movies that night and generally relax. But when he saw Tora curled up of Logan's lap, fast asleep, he couldn't resist. Since Christmas, they apparently had become joined at the hip. The only argument that they'd had was something about Logan being overprotective in battle and getting in the way of her fighting. But everyone in the mansion sensed the other undercurrent of dissention between them. Logan was all for them sharing a room –and a bed. Tora was apparently dead set against it. They were being completely civil and courteous about it but bets were being placed on how long it would take Tora to crack. Or, in Jean's case, how long it would be before Logan proposed out of necessity. Kurt gave an impish grin. Those photos were so being sent to the Avengers. And the Fantastic Four. And all the B-list superheroes. Oh, this was going to be good.

Thirty minutes later, Kurt was cursing. Stupid Tora and her stupid digital scramblers. All he had was photos of Logan. And not even Logan doing anything stupid. But he could still make their lives misery. He rummaged in the box of circus memorabilia for the cat toys.

Logan ran his fingers through the black streak in her hair. There was something about it that meant he loved twisting the silky black hair around his hand. Perhaps it was because it was a representation of her dark streak, the side she kept so well covered but he sometimes saw reflected in her eyes. He hungered for her but she kept him at arms length, which was probably the best way of getting him to stay. And she didn't even know she was doing it. Suddenly she bolted upright. She was scenting the air. Could he have missed something? He sniffed as well and caught a scent. He was going to kill Kurt. The scent of catnip was winding its was into the nostrils of both ferals. Logan remained unaffected while Tora seemed to be going into a state of euphoria. He'd seen that before but only in cats. She was tracking the scent, trying to find it. Then she pounced. It looked as though Kurt had bought three hundred cat toys, slit them open and poured all the catnip into one huge bag. She was plucking at it like a cat does and making soft noises in the back of her throat. She was purring! Purring! A ferocious warrior, an X-Man, purring! He was so going to tease her about that when she returned to sanity. She looked at him and her pupils were huge. OK, this was getting out of control. In the end he had to get some pickles from the kitchen. She hated the smell and the taste. They were too strong for her enhanced senses and they managed to shock her out of her madness. After she'd shaken the worst of the clouding around her mind away she looked up at him.

"I. Am. Going. To. Kill. Kurt."

"You do know you purr."

"I do not!"

"Oh yeah?"

He started tickling her until she collapsed then started scratching under her chin and behind her ears. The low purr came out before she could stop it. She looked slightly shocked.

"Well what do you know? I do purr."

The look of slight surprise on her face caused him to start laughing his head off.

* * *

><p>"I never heard her purring."<p>

"That only happened when she was alone. With Logan."

"Oh, spare me the mental image."

"How much did you make out of that bet?"

"A tidy amount."

* * *

><p>They were dodging falling debris. How often did this end up happening? Tora had given up counting. She loved this. The adrenalin shooting through her system as she ducked and leapt. She felt alive and she planned to keep it that way. Backing up, she met Wolverine and the two began their long perfected double strike.<p>

"When we get back Tigress, I have something I want to ask you."

"Can't it wait Wolverine? If you hadn't noticed…LOOK OUT!"

She pushed him out the way of the heavy metal girder. He crouched down to look at her.

"You okay?"

"_Aïe_"

She naturally switched to the French version of "ouch". Deeming if she was able to be sarcastic about it, she was fine. Leaving her under the girder wasn't the best bet but she'd be safer than fighting.

"Wolverine, don't you dare leave me under this thing. I have a right to fight as well."

"Sorry darling. But Colossus is busy."

"I am so going to neuter you when we get back."

"Just let me ask you that question, then I swear I'll stand still and let you attack me. If you still want to."

She twisted under the girder, feeling her back scars break open. The pain gave her the incentive to tear her way out and go back into the fray. Hank wouldn't want to help her so she was going to have to sneak into the medi-lab. Things had got crowded when the original X-Men had decided to come home. With the Mississippi girl who'd joined things were actually getting quite crowded. Things had almost reached breaking point when Logan had insisted that the LA kid, Jubilee stayed there as well. Another reason to strangle him. That girl either followed Logan around like a puppy or made snide comments about her relationship with him. It had started driving her slightly insane. Of course she liked Miss Lee. It was almost impossible to dislike her. It's just that she was slightly overpowering.

It's not that there were too few rooms, it was just the feeling of being crowded. The library wasn't a safe haven anymore, even if Dr McCoy was the only other one who went there regularly. People would stick their heads in all the time, meaning it was impossible for her to read properly. Even her thinking spot down by the lake wasn't private anymore. Everyone knew they could find her there. She didn't know why everyone seemed to like offloading their troubles to her. Bobby told her about doubting his powers, Jean about the fact the Phoenix Force was coming back (whatever that was. Details seemed to be a little hazy), Ororo about how she had to control her emotions all the time, Kitty about the 'Piotr Problem' and Angel about Wolverine (Thankfully that conversation didn't last long. She'd just pointed out it was her boyfriend he was being rude about so shut up). She'd helped in what ways she could, mainly by listening to what they said. And then word had got out she would listen to all your troubles just as long as you weren't rude about her boyfriend and now everyone came flocking to offload their troubles. They seemed to think she could hold their secrets close, help them with the problems they had. Even the new woman, Rogue, came and talked about the fact she couldn't touch anyone. And in a single moment of empathy, in the second when she saw someone like her, Tora had reached out and brushed her bare fingers to the other woman's face. Not enough to allow her memories to pass to her. She wouldn't wish that fate on anyone. But enough to give the green-eyed woman a taste of her abilities and also the emotion that she was being trusted. The ex-Brotherhood member had just looked at her with a shocked look on her face and Tora had just walked away.

She slid back into the present as she twisted under a blow. She'd 'leant' her powers to Rogue for the fight and it was quite interesting to see how she fought. Tora grimaced as she felt her reopened scars heal shut. Unfortunately that was another costume soaked in blood. She heard a camera shutter close and she had a feeling a picture of her uniform with the X of blood on the back would be splashed across the papers that had nothing better to print. But the scent of that photographer… Her head snapped round and she saw a brown-haired, brown-eyed man in his early twenties taking photos. She smiled slightly. All she needed was an excuse to get close. And there it was. One of their opponents about to attack him. Tora tensed and leapt, pushing the man out of the way. Then smiled slightly.

"_Salut mon ami_."

"I'm sorry?"

"See you later Spidey."

"Sorry?"

"No fooling the nose Wall-crawler. See you around."

She dived back into the fray. Ten minutes later he swung in. She knew he couldn't resist a fight. The two were soon having a small chat as she threw her opponent and he webbed his.

"How did you know it was me?"

"Highly advanced sense of smell, remember? I'm amazed you were stupid enough to come."

"Why?"

"I catch your scent, Wolverine catches your scent then bang, secret identity down the drain."

"You won't…"

"I'm not about to reveal your little secret. I don't even know your name so…"

The man dressed in red and blue lowered his voice.

"Peter."

"Tora."

The two heroes exchanged smiles. At least it looked like he smiled.

"So, are the rumours I've been hearing from the Avengers true?"

"What rumours?"

"About you and Wolverine?"

"What do these rumours say? I can't answer unless I know."

"It depends on who you listen to. Ask Iron Man and you're sleeping together. Ask Quicksilver and he tried to kiss you and you attacked him. Ask Cap and he just says that he hasn't even met this guy so isn't going to spread rumours about him."

"I really need to meet this Captain America."

"So then, are the rumours true?"

"None of the things you said are true."

"Comeon. Please. I really want to know so I can annoy Logan next time we team-up."

"If you don't shut up I'll shout your name out loud."

The conversation faltered as they chose new opponents and dived in.

"Did you hear that the Avengers are hosting a party for New Year? The X-Men are invited."

"Sorry, big parties aren't my thing."

"But I could introduce you to Cap."

"Maybe."

* * *

><p>The being who once went by the name of Jean Grey turned to look at the other person. Her companion's head was bent over the pool, long silver grey hair almost touching the water.<p>

"You miss the old times."

The side of the face uncovered by ice showed pain.

"Of course I miss them. Sometimes I think I managed to keep more of my humanity than you."

"I miss them too. But you can't let that get to you."

"I thought for a few sweet years I would never have to lose those I cared for most. Then all my friends aged away. And my children died and even the man I loved passed away in his sleep. I'm supposed to protect, Jean. Why couldn't I protect them?"

"You tried. That's what mattered."

Out of the ice mask a single red tear dropped from the carved eye. For a second another face appeared there. Hair bright, face whole as the force inside her withdrew from the pain only those who lived could feel. Then the mask reappeared, the hair lost its brilliance. The thing inside her settled back into it's shell and the sorrow of many lifetimes was swept from her face.

"I never understood why you let your hair fade."

"Perhaps I needed to remind myself, that for all I seem to be more, I'm still only a mortal."


	22. Shadows of Questions

**Memories**

Shadows of Questions

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

They were standing in their clearing. It had become theirs over time. Feelings from the first kiss still lingered. The others had soon learnt if they went off there together not to go anywhere near it. But now she was looking at him with her arms crossed.

"This had better be good else we're going straight to the Medi-lab."

Logan shifted slightly. This was different to when he had been trying to ask Mariko. But then Mariko had never been slightly unpredictable. Most of the time he could guess what Tora was going to do but then there would be those few times when she'd change tactics and either lash out at something he thought wouldn't bother her or meekly accept something he thought she would hate. This was one of those times when things could go either way. She'd either be incredibly insulted and attack or she'd forgive him for leaving her under the girder for her own protection.

She was giving him that look that meant she was getting impatient. He better talk quickly.

"Tora. Er… erm. This isn't looking good is it?"

She shook her head. She wasn't making this easier for him with her unwavering stare.

"Er…I was wondering that….er…since we've been going out for-"

"Six months. Can you please think out what you're going to say before you actually say it?"

"Well ya ain't helping, staring at me like that. The only thing I've seen that blinks less than you do are fish. And they don't have eyelids."

He watched the slight smile play across her lips. He wished he were able to charm her into this. He closed his eyes and complied everything he wanted to say, hoping she wouldn't put him off with that look.

"Right. I think I have everything I want to say. Please don't kill me, not until you've heard me out. Ya know I'm not very good with words, that I prefer to fight than to work out my troubles. I can't pretend I'm good at this. But in the time I've known you, it's like everything has changed. No really!"

The sceptical look on her face told him she wasn't buying this.

"What I'm trying to say is, either of us could be dead tomorrow, or captured by some evil megalomaniac. And I was sort of thinkin'. If I had to die, I'd like to know I had a family. Someone who cared about me. So…"

"So…"

"So I was wondering…er…"

"You're doing it again."

"That's it! I give up on words."

And he drew out the tiny box he'd bought. He glanced up and saw a slight flicker of confusion through her eyes. Of course! She didn't get it. He flicked the box open, revealing the brown-gold flash of tigers eye. He's thought about that for hours before choosing the warm golden stone because it was the same colour as her eyes. The silver band that twisted around the stone and held it in place. Her eyes were darkening with more confusion and the tiniest flash of comprehension.

"Do you know what this represents?"

Her mouth opened slightly but no sound came out. She started to shake her head then nodded so gently he almost didn't see the movement.

"I suppose I'm trying to ask you to spend the rest of your life with me. If you want to that is."

A single tear was sliding over the ruined side of her face. But the barriers were up and he couldn't tell if he was about to hear a yes or a low hiss. He didn't get either. Instead she had moved so fast all he saw was a blur and soft lips met his. Hoping this meant she'd accepted he enjoyed the kiss then broke away and whispered hoarsely "Does that mean yes?"

Her warm eyes were sparkling with tears and he saw the love that was burning inside them.

"Of course it means yes, you idiot."

Then she grabbed his hand.

"Come on, we have an appointment at the Medi-lab."

"WHAT!"

"I did say I couldn't forgive you for leaving me out of a fight. Don't worry. It should grow back."

He spluttered then saw the slight look in her eyes he'd come to recognize as 'pulling-Logan's-leg-look'.

"You're having me on, ain't ya?"

"Of course."

And they were kissing again, gently, probing. In the end they had to break contact to breathe.

"My Wolverine. _Mon Logan. Mon Carcajou._"

"You can call me Carcajou if ya want to."

Standing in silence the two just remained close for a while before walking back together, hand in hand.

* * *

><p>"That was <strong>so <strong>sweet."

"Jean, please try not to patronise."

"And they didn't tell anyone for **ages**."

"They told everyone three days later."

"Yeah but so much happened in that time."

* * *

><p>When they got up there they wouldn't tell anyone. They ate with the others, laughed with the others but were still slightly apart. The small box was burning in Tora's pocket so she made an excuse and went upstairs to hide it in her room. As she'd moved downstairs all the lights had gone out. They'd congregated in the sitting room and been talking about what to do when the low voice had spoken.<p>

"James…"

They looked round.

"James. It's me."

Logan had been the only one who dared speak.

"There ain't no James here."

A sad moan had followed that statement.

"What did they do to you James?"

Even in the dark, Logan felt everyone's eyes on him.

"My James. My student. The boy I call my son."

"You know me?"

"When your love had chosen another, when you were still a boy you went running into the forest. I found you, I taught you. I cared for you and I called you my son. I who had no children was given someone to love and be loved by in return."

"When was this?"

"You expect me to remember the year? When you have lived as long as I have James, you don't put stock on the year number. I remember it was before the War."

"The War?"

"The War. The Great War. The war that set Europe aflame."

"Wait a second, you are talking about World War One."

"That is one name for it. But at the time it was the Great War, the War to End All Wars."

"That's impossible."

"Not for me. I, who have seen empires rise and fall, seen kingdoms burn and dynasties die."

"Who are you?"

"I go by many names. The Fallen Angel, The Darkwing, The Shadow, The Good Demon. But the name I was given when I was a baby was Etana."

"What are you?"

"I am one of you. Mutant. But I was born of the two races. Neyaphem and Cheyarafim. They entered your mythology as angels and demons. The Cheyarafim are dead, destroyed by Azazel himself. Lord of the Neyaphem. He goes by many names. Semihazah, Duma, Keriel, Mastema, Beliar, Gadreel, Beelzebub, Satan. But he is like us. He is my grandfather and he hates me."

"Why?"

"Because his daughter betrayed him. Fell in love with a Cheyarafim and I was born. His blood, mingled with that of his worst enemies. He's been trying to kill me ever since. And it doesn't help that I banished him and his precious clan to the Brimstone dimension. Centuries back."

"Are you telling me, you've been alive for centuries."

"I was given to my uncle in Hebron, around 1010BCE."

"You're lying."

"But my dear James, why would I lie?"

"No one lives that long."

"I am not the eldest of our kind. Before me there was Selene. And the Cloaked One. The one who manipulates you and I cannot touch him."

"You know the person who did all this to me?"

"By reputation only. Now James, are you ready to believe me?"

Suddenly the lights flickered back up and they all gasped. Gazing at them from the ceiling was a woman with silver hair and silver eyes without pupils or scleras. Her body was covered in a soft black fur like Kurt's but around her ankles, wrists and eyes delicate black feathers were picked out. She seemed oddly hunch-backed and a tail, not quite as long as Kurt's but edged with feathers swung under her. Her hands and feet were entirely human though. She looked around and gasped slightly.

"Cheyarafim and Neyaphim together…"

"What?"

She pointed at Warren.

"Cheyarafim."

Then at Kurt.

"Neyaphim."

"W…What?"

She dropped from the ceiling and as she straightened up the hunchback twisted and unfolded into a pair of gleaming black wings. She was looking hard at Kurt.

"Uncle."

"_Vas?_"

"Azazel is the only Neyaphim able to leave his dimension through his teleporting skills. All Neyaphim born since I trapped them are his children. By default, you are my uncle."

"Why are you here?"

"Because when James left he told me not to contact for him until he found peace. And being a fool, I agreed."

"Excuse me, but why so you keep calling him James?"

"Because that was the name I knew him by. The name he went by at seventeen. Of course I suppose he has a different name now."

"Yeah."

"Is it Logan by any chance?"

"How…?"

"You went by James Logan from aged twelve when you were forced to flee your home. But I know the name you were born under. But you yourself told me that boy was dead. I leave it to rest. Logan."

"You don't look like you're millennia old."

The woman smiled, showing brilliant white teeth which had no suggestion of Kurt's fangs. She did look like a mixture of Kurt and Warren.

"Excuse me, can we get back to the place where you called me Uncle?"

"Sorry, but it's true."

"How old am I?"

She sighed.

"I don't know exactly. I had been taking a decade or so off when you found me. So I wasn't sure of the exact year. But I'd say you're about…"

"About?"

"One hundred and thirty."

For a few moments no one could talk.

"I can allow you to examine my memories if you wish."

"How?"

"I know you wouldn't be stupid enough to start a mutant group without a decent telepath. I'm lowering my shields now."

"Jean, I'd appreciate it if you weren't the one to do this."

"Why Logan?"

"Just trust me on this."

Charles looked at the dark-furred woman. She looked like she was in her late twenties. But there was a look of age about the way she held herself. She glanced round.

"Would you mind me getting my equipment? It's pretty special to me but I thought it prudent not to bring them in with me. They are very…specialised."

"Erm, what sort of specialised?"

"I assume you know what Logan specialises in. Well, I taught him the basics. Just martial arts and languages. When you've lived as long as I have, you get bored and learn all sorts. The martial arts were from my trips to China and Japan in the 14th century. I think my Russian may be obsolete now."

"Oh."

"Miss…er…"

"Etana. They hadn't quite got around to surnames when I was born."

She gave a flash of white teeth then disappeared in a light absorbing black cloud.

"I may be prepared to admit I am related to her."

Suddenly a burst of blinding white light appeared where Etana had been standing before. She was now holding a bag from which various swords, knifes and throwing equipment protruded. She noticed their looks.

"I deal in protection for those without a voice. No fee. But some of the people I go up against don't take no for an answer. I do aim to scare rather than kill. A maimed enemy can be more use that a dead one."

"What do you mean?"

"I protected a small Jewish community in Poland in the Second World War. My only regret was I couldn't save more of my people. But after I fought off some of the invaders, many of the native Poles switched sides to join me."

"Your people?"

"I was raised in a Hebrew family. Things have changed since then but I remain faithful to my foster parents. And their faith. I never really was able to put down roots. Longest I ever stayed somewhere was around the first century BCE. I sort of gave up on life then. Thought I'd done everything. Made some stupid mistakes, made deals with the wrong people. Managed to break free but they didn't like that. I kept a low profile for a couple of decades. Hid in Africa, took what I needed to survive and in return I told stories. Of angels and demons, of far off lands. Of people with skins of blue and of white bears. They loved me. Their storyteller, their protector. Their fallen angel."

She smiled sadly.

"Best fifty years of my life."

She said it in the tone that most people would say 'six weeks'. That showed them how different her outlook was to theirs. They planned a few weeks in advance. She planned years or even decades in advance. She was old. So old they had trouble comprehending how ancient she was.

"May I?"

She turned to look at Xavier and nodded.

"Would you like a quick tour through the centuries or just the memories concerning Logan?"

"You can control what I see?"

"I used to work a lot with telepaths. Sometimes I needed their…er…special abilities. They taught me how to create shields and one showed me how to give psychic tours."

"I have never heard of how to do that."

She laughed.

"You wouldn't. It died with my friend. We were partners for thirty years. I still have his imprint somewhere in here."

The woman who had seen centuries fly past tapped the side of her head.

"You have an imprint of your companions in your own mind?"

"I couldn't let him die."

The Professor nodded. And then she reached out a hand and touched his head. Images flashed by so fast he almost couldn't see them. Years, centuries worth of knowledge and experience. He saw how her friends aged while she remained young. He saw the different aliases she used over the years to protect those without voices. He saw how she gained experience, becoming a fighter who rivalled Logan. Then the images slowed and he saw a young man of about 17 screaming in the forest. He felt the kinship Etana had felt for him and flicked her wings to land beside him. The boy hadn't seemed afraid.

"Are you here to kill me?"

"And why would I do that little one?"

"I want to die. Rose chose Smitty. He's like my father but I love her. Will you kill me?"

"I don't kill little one. I protect. But I'll teach you if you want me to."

The boy turned to look at her and Charles saw the ice-blue eyes he knew so well only without the look of intense suffering.

"Why?"

"Because we are the same. Because you would be the best student I could ever take."

"You're a teacher?"

"Among other things."

"I had a teacher. Miss Douglas. She was amazing. She made me laugh. At times I thought she was more of a mother than my own mother."

"Then come little one and I will show you. Show you how to protect those you care about."

She sped up the memories so a few days passed in what felt like seconds. Then the boy came running to her crying.

"Little one, what is wrong?"

"I killed her. I killed her. She got between me and Dog. I didn't mean to kill her, it was an accident."

Etana didn't say anything but simply held the boy close to her as he cried.

"Come. You can stay with me until you are ready."

Again the memories sped up as The Fallen Angel trained the boy she now knew as James. Whatever his original name had been she kept it hidden from Charles. And she saw him less as a student but more as a son. Then the day when he had almost killed her in training.

"I can't teach you any more James. I've given you centuries worth of experience but you've absorbed it in under a year. Perhaps I should have taught you how to control yourself more."

"I need to go."

"James, why?"

"Because I need to find someone like you. Someone who can look me in the eyes. I need to find some sort of peace. To get away from what happened that night. And maybe to find a way of forgiving myself for Rose."

"James, I understand."

"You do?"

"Of course Little One. But I will find you. And I will watch you."

"Please don't interfere. I have to do this on my own."

Charles felt her misgivings. Then…

"I swear I shall not intervene or make contact until you have found what you are searching for."

Time sped up again. He watched as Etana kept her vow despite it breaking her heart. He could only watch with her as the women Logan loved were killed and as his humanity was stripped away. Then the World Wars where others required her help more. He watched as Logan's pain continued and finally the Weapon X Project. Etana couldn't help him. She watched as he roamed the Canadian wilderness and became an employee of Department H. Then she watched as he joined the X-Men, helping where she could. So that was who let the X-Men out in that scuffle with the new Brotherhood. Then she watched as he found the peace he craved and also the woman who looked him in the eyes. So she had come. Charles withdrew from her mind with the knowledge this woman was no fraud. No body could have constructed the things she had seen from books. Her eyes that looked like Kurt's stared into his.

"See. He was my son, despite there being no blood to tie us."

He looked around at the X-Men.

"Aren't you going to scan her?"

Amazing. She'd given him a guided tour of three millennia in so short a time the others hadn't even noticed he was gone.

"She is no fraud. And also Logan does appear to be about one hundred and thirty years old."

Wolverine just walked to the wall and started hitting his head against it.

* * *

><p>At this point Phoenix forgot the no-giggling rule and burst into fits that subsided into hiccups.<p>

"It was funny the first time around. It's even better seen like this."

"It's not funny. He just found out what he thought were the seven-eighths of his life that had been wiped were actually about twenty-five twenty-sixths of his life."

"Yes but Logan thumping his head on the wall. He made a hole in it!"

"Respect the adamantium."


	23. Old Friends, New Friends

**Memories**

Old Friends, New Friends

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

The Avengers party seemed to be going very well. At least until Etana arrived. She seemed quite friendly with the X-Men but insisted on living outside. But when she turned up later than the X-Men most people just stopped and stared. She was dressed comfortably in a red vest top and trousers. It wasn't the clothes that made people stare. After all, it was a party of heroes. It was the weapons she was carrying. A quiver of arrows fitted on her belt, along with what looked like a folding bow. Katanas crossed down her back, fitting in between her wings. Various other weapons were strapped onto her belt but they all had things in common. Everything had been invented before guns. There were swords, knifes, throwing stars and sais but no guns. She turned around.

"I am sorry I'm late. There was a drugs cartel I've been meaning to deal with for weeks. The entire New York cell is now outside the police HQ with a sudden urge to confess."

"Shadow? Shadow, is that you?"

She turned and her face spilt into a smile.

"Captain! I was pleased to hear about your recovery from the ice. It's been…62 years?"

"More like nine years for me."

Iron Man, visor flipped up looked between his colleague and the strange woman.

"You two know each other."

"I worked with The Shadow in the War. Best hand-to-hand fighter I ever met. We had each other's backs for a while in Poland. She was protecting a town there."

"It's Etana to you Captain. I've been hiding behind Shadow, Fallen Angel and so on for much too long."

"Excuse me, but you expect me to believe this woman fought in World War Two? She'd too young."

"Are you saying that three millennia is too young to have fought?"

"Impossible! Are you some sort of god?"

"No. My grandfather fought for the title Satan but really he was just a mutant. Like I am. But some of us are almost impossible to kill. Selene for one. The Cloaked One for another. Not that I can't be injured. It's just very hard to do."

"I thought you preferred to work alone?"

"I'm staying with the X-Men for a few days. And I came here to renew old acquaintances."

"I'm honoured. So any of our others friends survived."

"Actually, one is here tonight."

"Really? Who?"

"Guess. LOGAN!"

Wolverine came over, Tora close behind.

"Logan, will you take your mask off for a second?"

"Why?"

"An old friend."

Logan grimaced then obliged.

"Jim… Lucky Jim Howlett… I don't believe it…"

"Great, someone else who knows me."

"We were on the D-Day landings together. Remember?"

"Nah. Memory wipes."

But a flashback suddenly drove through him. Running beside this tall man with his shield and a boy next to him dressed similarly. The man turned to look at him and grimaced, speaking but the words were muffled. But what was clear was they were friends. He staggered slightly and felt hands catch him.

"Logan?"

"Memory got through."

"You called yourself Logan when we first met. In Madripoor. 1941. Rescuing Natasha."

"Sorry, haven't a clue. Some high and mighty government types wiped my memory. Along with turning me into a living weapon."

"What happened to the girl you were with?"

Etana answered.

"Murdered."

Logan turned and spoke with ice in his voice.

"You were watching the entire time and never helped."

"You told me not to."

Tora's hand tightened on his arm. Most people wouldn't notice the fact she was putting a lot of pressure on his arm. But in a room of people who's lives are often on the line unless they can read a single movement it was as plain as day.

"Logan, don't."

He relaxed as her grip lessened. She switched to Japanese, to give them some privacy.

"You heard what Charles said. You told her not to interfere in your life. "

"But she stood by while whoever this woman was died. "

"At the time she had other things to worry about. The town she was protecting for one. "

He scowled slightly then noticed a look of polite indifference on Etana's face. She knew. She spoke Japanese, she'd told him about it when he'd asked her more about his past.

She gave a slight nod then turned to go. But not before turning and speaking in Japanese.

"When were you going to tell me about your happy news? "

A single silver eye disappeared as she winked.

"You know? "

"You were like a son to me. I can read you like a book. "

She smiled slightly then disappeared to do whatever was next on her list of things to do. She knew more about him than anyone and he couldn't help but feel glad that out of all the people in the world, it was her who knew about his past.

"So 'Logan', what have you been doing over the last six decades?"

"Haven't a clue. Everything is sort of blank until what I suppose was the mid-eighties when I started running wild in the Canadian wilderness. Since then I've been a spy, a assassin and various other things."

"Any other woman since that apparent failure from the War?"

"Lots. But only a few who were worth anything."

"Logan, I think 'Ro wants to talk to me."

"Who's the girl? Whoever she is, she guessed you wanted to talk to me alone."

"Tora. Tigress to most people. My successor at Weapon X. Not someone you want to cross."

"A successor? What does that mean?"

"It means they kidnapped a toddler and tortured her until she did what they wanted. And when she refused to kill, they sold her to a homicidal, raving manic."

"What happened?"

"She learnt how to control the beast inside her. Something I can't do. So you knew me?"

"Lucky Jim Howlett. So called because you'd survive absolutely everything they did to you. You were taken prisoner just before I had my 'accident'. Haven't a clue what happened to you. The Shadow seemed to know, I'd ask her. The only time I ever saw her scared was when she thought you'd seen her. Wouldn't tell me why."

"She made a promise years before she wouldn't interfere in my life. Stupid thing to make her promise. Most of the bad things in my life wouldn't have happened if she'd been there."

"You know her?"

"She calls me her son. Adoptive only."

"How old are you? If she thinks you're her son then…"

"I'd rather people don't ask about my age."

"So you're helping this Tora deal with her past?"

"She does that by herself. If anything she helps me deal with mine."

"She seems pretty unique."

"That's the word I've been trying to find to describe her."

She returned and pulled her mask off.

"This place is so crowded. Is there anywhere I can breathe?"

"There's the balcony. Along the corridor, right and out the long windows."

"_Merci._"

"Don't you want me to repeat the instructions?"

She tapped the side of her head.

"Photographic memory."

She walked off then turned round and smiled at Logan.

"If Etana guessed, shouldn't we start telling people?"

He shrugged and she mouthed a final "Love you" before leaving the room, but not in the same dramatic way Etana had.

"What's she talking about?"

"For some crazy reason I feel like telling you. I suppose I must get some of the memories of trusting ya, so here goes. We're engaged. It's stupid, we've only known each other for a year but when either of us could be dead tomorrow then it doesn't seem to matter."

"We all bond quicker with those in our walk of life. It's the constant fear that does it."

His short companion from the war gave that slightly scary smile of his.

"If it's any consolation, you don't seem to have changed much. By the way, what happened to her face?"

"She refused to kill a villain in the course of her job and got her face sliced up for her trouble. She's too kind fer her own good. And it ain't the worst of her scars."

"What do you mean?"

"We found her back had been ripped open when she was a kid. And for a while she flinched when we moved too fast."

"What happened to her?"

"Ya don't wanna know."

* * *

><p>Phoenix sighed.<p>

"He told Cap before he told any of us. His friends!"

"Cap was his friend."

"Yes but he didn't remember that."

"Why am I always the voice of reason?"

"Because you're balanced and sensible and as grounded as a cosmic entity can be."

* * *

><p>She stood on the balcony overlooking the city. She'd needed to get out of the crush, out of the multitude of thronging heroes. Suddenly Etana was standing beside her.<p>

"Tora."

"Etana."

"You're right for him."

"_Pardon?_"

"Out of all the women he's been with, you're the only one who I feel has the slightest chance of surviving the Cloaked One's manipulations."

"Who is this Cloaked One?"

"I don't dare fight him. He has been scheming for almost all of humanity's life. He was old when I was born. Most of what I hear is rumours. He leads the Lupine, a sub-sect of mutants. They are as powerful as the Neyaphim were in the height of their powers."

"I thought you banished the Neyaphim."

"I did. But I had an advantage. The Cloaked One relies on shadows to hide his existence. He uses his people as a shield. And he's trying to groom Logan to take over from him. For even us, the so called Immortal mutants age, wither and die. Selene steals life-force so she doesn't count. But the Cloaked One is aging. Dark hair has become grey. He needs a successor. And Logan is everything he prizes."

"Why are you telling me this? Shouldn't Logan know?"

"Because another is being groomed for the role. One who Logan would kill me if he knew. One day the two will have to fight to be the new Pack leader. One will have to kill the other. Logan will either kill or be killed by his own son."

"He has a son?"

"The man is sixty years old. And he's been trained to hate Logan."

Tora looked the woman who looked only slightly older than her in the eye.

"Who are you? Really I mean?"

"I am the one who studied under the Dragon. The one with the power of a god but was not a god. She taught me everything. And she told me that when I met a boy who had a wolf inside him I was to train him. She told me about the future. She taught me a lot."

"Who was she?"

"She made me swear not to tell. One day you may meet her. Then you'll understand."

She reached around her neck and unhooked a silver chain. Hanging from it was a tiny stone, all the colours of water.

"She told me to give this to my daughter. I'm not exactly the sort to have children. Logan is like my son. When I was raised, if a woman married a man, the man's mother called her daughter. So you're the closest thing I'll ever have to a daughter. Here. The chain may need replaced over time."

She pressed the small necklace into Tora's hand and disappeared before she could protest. Tora held the blue stone up to her eyes. It was carved into a winged Chinese dragon and when she flipped it over, a tiny inscription in Hebrew made her look at it harder.

"I am She Who Rides the Waves of Time."

That was odd. She held the tiny stone in her hand and felt the heat being drawn from it. But the stone didn't warm. She suddenly felt a kinship with the Fallen Angel she hadn't felt with anyone else. Etana had suffered in a way few could. She had friends and comrades and they died while she lived on and she made new friends and they died and she was stuck in an eternal cycle of losing those she was close to. That was the sorrow in her eyes. The sorrow of watching everything she built being destroyed. A familiar scent caught in Tora's nose.

"Ororo."

"Logan just told me."

She didn't need to know what Logan had told her. She turned and felt warm arms wrap around her.

"You deserve some good luck Tora."

"I don't believe in luck. It's all probability. That and pure skill."

She felt 'Ro's arms tighten even harder around her. Caught the exotic plant scent that she used all the time.

"You know what I mean."

The short woman smiled at the tall woman who she considered a friend.

"You realize you're suffocating me?"

"Sorry. What's that?"

Storm was looking at the tiny necklace in Tora's hand.

"Etana gave it to me."

Ororo scooped up the silver chain and swept back Tora's hair, deftly fitting the chain next to the cross Kurt had given her that Christmas.

"Thanks."

Suddenly something dark-haired and moving incredibly fast knocked into Tora.

"'tbelieveit!"

"Hello Jubilee."

"And Logan's now sitting at the bar with **Captain America **and they're laughing. And drinking quite a lot. Or rather Logan is. Cap's just sitting with one drink."

"Is he?"

"And Iron Man just took one look at Wolvie and walked out."

"Oh-"

"And the Invisible Woman's looking for you along with She-Hulk, Jean, Ms Marvel, Wasp and pretty much every female superhero here."

Tora went very pale.

"What happened?"

"Well Logan told Cap, who told Iron Man who shouted it out through his speakers."

"'Ro will you please just kill me?"

* * *

><p>"Please can I laugh?"<p>

"Fine. Just don't blame me if you slip on the ice."

"She was so scared when we all descended on her and started planning everything for her. I heard she gave Etana half her book collection for 'rescuing' her."

"Tried to. Etana had a pretty impressive collection in her various safe houses."

* * *

><p><em>It may be a while until I update. One of my best friends' dad died recently and I need to be there for her.<br>_


	24. Broken Hope

**Memories**

Broken Hope

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Logan could smell her. He crept up downwind. He knew she wanted some time alone but he worried about her. She was sitting cross-legged on the earth, hands cupped and reaching out, head tilted back slightly. She was speaking with great respect, even more respectful than with Charles.

"Am I doing the right thing? Please help me make the right decisions. I'm lost and confused and afraid. Jean seems to have taken over. Ororo's trying to help and Jubilee seems to think she has the right to plan decorations. And I'm worried as to how my…family will react. Am I rushing this? Am I being foolish? Father, help me make the right decisions."

She lowered her head and seemed to listen. Knowing he'd seen something she would hate him to see, he crept away, realizing she was deeper than he had thought. A lot deeper. She sounded as devout as Kurt. She rarely opened up like that to him. And she'd been pleading, begging, asking for help. She never asked for help.

* * *

><p>The two women didn't say anything. It was sometimes better not to say anything. Peace was hard to come by. They were both remembering times long since dead. A world consumed by fire and water. Two men so unalike. Oddly the personality was the opposite of their respective element.<p>

* * *

><p>He wished he could understand the words being screamed in the room next door. Both Tora and her mother were yelling at each other. The words were dropping thick and fast and he was beginning to regret coming. He had heard his name twenty-four times in total. Tora's mother hadn't taken well to the knowledge her daughter had got engaged without asking for advice. He heard "Xavier" then "<em>divorce<em>". He heard Tora snarl, never a good sign because she rarely lost control but when she did, she was deadly.

_Logan?_

He shook his head. There weren't any telepaths here.

_Please Logan. It's me. Eloise._

Oh, please let him be imagining it.

_Logan, I'm scared. I can hear Maman's thoughts._

He was going to have to start projecting.

_How long have you been doing this?_

_It's only just started. Maman's so angry. I can hear Papa and you but not Marie._

_Tora has telepathic shields. Not even the best telepaths can get past them._

_Oh. Can I come with you? I can't block anything. Everyone is hurting._

_I don't think your parents would like that._

_Please…_

He was stopped by Tora marching out of the door. She turned and fired a parting shot.

"_Ils sont plus de ma famille que vous!_"

She reached out for his hand and pulled him up. She was marching, murmuring under her breath. He didn't want to know what she was saying. She was in a quiet rage he had grown to know as her 'only just keeping a grip on self' state. When she was like that it was normally better to be quite far away. Like on a different continent. She was walking quickly, like she was afraid she'd turn back and attack her parents if she slowed. She deliberately slammed the front door on exit and broke into a run, towards the far off Blackbird. When out of site of the house she chikted out her claws and slammed them into a tree, keeping on punching until she mangled her fingers to a pulp. She then ran even faster, until she got to the Blackbird and was initiating the start-up procedures when he finally caught up. Tears were slicking down her face and she was shaking.

"What darlin'"

"She…she said it would never work out. That Charles should stop it. That it'll end in divorce and unhappiness. That I should be marrying someone closer to my own age. That I'm not their daughter."

He held her close as she began to shudder.

"And I said terrible things. I said it didn't matter what she thought because she wasn't there when I was screaming for her. That you're the only person who can understand. I told her that the others were happy for me. And…and I said that they were my family. I can't go back. I can't."

She cried quietly, sorrowfully for a long time as she let the bitterness out. Then she sat up and returned to her usual efficiency. She flicked the last few switches and set the Blackbird for take off. He could tell she didn't want to talk for a while. She just sat there, hands clenched tightly so her knuckles went white. He sensed she wasn't mad at him but she might snap if he tried to talk to her. He waited until they were over the Atlantic and she had relaxed a bit before he dared speak to her.

"You want food?"

"_D'accord._"

He unstrapped the safety harness and walked over to the storage locker when a scent caused him to stop.

"Oh, please no! This can't be happening."

He carefully opened the locker to find Eloise napping in it.

"What Logan?"

"Your sister, that's what!"

She turned in the seat.

"ELOISE!"

The girl shook her head to wake herself up.

"_Quoi? _Oh, hi Logan, Marie. I decided to hitch a lift."

"Right, we are turning straight back round."

"Please Marie. I'll even call you Tora. Just I can't shut them out."

"Shut whom out?"

"Everyone. All their thoughts and feelings."

Tora just looked like she wanted to thump her head off something.

"By the way, I'm totally cool with you and Logan."

"Eloise, there's a mobile in the third locker along. Ring your parents."

"They're your parents as well."

"Not anymore."

"_Mais…_"

"Just do it, OK."

"Good idea to do so kid. Tora ain't exactly in a good mood today."

* * *

><p>"Remember what happened when she returned home?"<p>

"It's hard to forget. She was very protective of Eloise."

"Phoenix, do you ever regret things that we sacrificed to save the world?"

"Everyday, every single day."

* * *

><p>As they walked towards the door to the kitchen, they heard something being said in French. Eloise giggled and Tora snarled before marching in.<p>

"WHO SAID THAT? There's an impressionable young girl here whose first language is French."

A man with auburn hair and sunglasses glanced round. He was leaning on the fridge, giving the impression of complete boredom.

"Gambit say dat. Problem _chere_?"

"To right there is a problem. I don't ever want to hear **anyone **say that when my sister is in earshot. And who are you anyway?"

"Remy Le Beau _cherie._"

Logan could tell she wasn't impressed.

"The Remy Le Beau with a thirty page Interpol file?"

"How you find dat file?"

"I take it from your indignant expression that you are The Remy Le Beau, Prince of the Thieves Guild."

"Dat be Gambit."

"Two things. One, stop referring to yourself in third person. Two, try pronouncing TH."

"Remy be _tres _upset."

"Take it from a native French speaker, your accent is atrocious."

Logan couldn't help but laugh. She was running rings around him and was now mocking his accent.

"Who's da shortie?"

"SHORTIE?"

He was going to gut the newcomer when Tora beat him to it. She struck out, knocking his sunglasses off to reveal red on black eyes.

"I think I'm going to enjoy being an X-Man."

"Eloise, you are **not **joining the X-Men. You are here to learn to control your powers."

"Not fair."

"Logan, take Eloise to Charles."

"How come…"

"Because I don't trust you to not kill Mr Le Beau here."

"Da name's Gambit."

"I read your file. Let's see. Street kid, adopted by Jean Le Beau of the Thieves Guild. Speaks English and Cajun French. Early twenties, notorious ladies man, _correctement_?"

"How da…"

"Expert thief, exiled from New Orleans for killing your brother-in-law the day you got married."

"No more, please no more!"

"Goes by codename of Gambit. Risk taker, mutant with ability to do something with cards, that bit of the file had been wiped, suspect for over three thousand major thefts…"

"Please _cherie, _stop dat!"

"Don't call me _cherie_. Major gambler, worked for Nathaniel Essex-"

She was cut off by him running out of the room screaming about freaky women who knew too much. She gave a slight smile.

"Hopefully that will teach him not to swear when kids are around."

Etana appeared in a flash. She was allowed to teleport in the house, as all she was responsible for were flash burns to the eyes. As she walked over to the fridge she smiled at Tora.

"Why was that rather nice young man screaming?"

Eloise was looking at the black-furred and winged mutant with her mouth open.

"Wow…"

"Hello. Are you Eloise?"

"_Er…oui._"

"Pleasure to meet you. I haven't been to France in centuries."

"Er…"

"When she says centuries, she means it."

"I don't think I've been there since I rescued Jeanne. That was a close one. I did tell her not to get captured."

"You're the Dark Angel…"

"I think I was going by that name at the time…"

"Huh?"

"A student of mine got into some trouble so I rescued her at the last minute. According to the history books she died but the English didn't exactly want people to know a black angel had flown down, beaten up a crack regiment and rescued the Maid of Orleans from the stake. They rounded everyone up and told them 'this didn't happen right'."

"Maid of Orleans… I've heard that name…"

"Jeanne d'Arc or Joan of Arc."

"You mean…"

"Look, it doesn't matter. Eloise, I am Etana. I am three thousand years old but don't let that bother you. I find it easier to tell people straight out."

Eloise just gaped at the matter of fact way Etana mentioned her age.

"Etana, you just terrified the poor child."

"She'd have found out anyway. And if you enrol her in a normal school, it would make it easier for her school history projects. I have the unfortunate habit of being where the action is most of the time."

She shrugged, found the pitta bread and disappeared.

"I can see why you turned out like you did Logan."

"Shut up."

"What?"

"Etana calls Logan her son."

"Cool. So she's my future brother-in-law's _maman_?"

"No! She sort of adopted me."

"So she is your _maman_."

"NO! Tora will you explain…Tora…"

For Tora had managed to disappear yet again.

* * *

><p>"Remy never got over that first day did he?"<p>

"He started shaking every time she entered the room for weeks afterwards."

"And charging cards when she said hello."

"And then she beat him at poker."

"Logan taught her well. I never saw a poker face like that."

"Lucky she refused to gamble for money."

"He was doing all her laundry except her underwear for three weeks though."

"But if she hadn't… Can you imagine Logan's reaction if he tried to flirt with her…?"

And despite her repeated comments on cosmic entities not giggling, she joined in with Phoenix.


	25. Shopping and Talking

**Memories**

Shopping and Talking

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

She was standing in abject terror looking down the stairs. Almost every female superhero was waiting to take her on The Shopping Trip.

"Jean, I thought you said this was going to be a small trip."

"Everyone wanted to help."

She felt like burying her face in her hands. She wasn't even certain she wanted a wedding dress. And she was regretting telling Jean she could plan most of the stuff for her. Ororo would have been a better choice. Tora hadn't a clue about half the stuff that was being planned but Sue Richards had given her a talk about getting married when in a full-time heroing post. Apparently almost every wedding was gatecrashed. Then there had been the honeymoon talk, the kids talk and she was going on to start another talk when Etana rescued her. She felt like she owed Etana her life. At any rate, she'd been the single dash of normalcy in her life. She was taken with Etana's suggestion they just eloped and got married in a registry office but Jean had locked all the papers she would need somewhere and she wasn't going to get married on forged papers. It was all about principles.

She had disappeared when The Shopping Trip had been suggested and Tora was beginning to wish she hadn't. She might need teleporting out. But Etana had been pure gold. She'd even offered her Japanese house to them for the honeymoon. Apparently she had safehouses in every major city and proper homes in the Scottish Highlands (for saving some British monarch's life), Japan's mountains (bought in the 14th century), a Venice townhouse (built on the site of her old home), New York (just a apartment for American operations) and some sort of Eyrie in the Canadian Rockies where she had met Logan. Apparently some people insisted on paying her for helping them and when the interest over the years reached a million she realized she was going to have to do something. She invested in a few companies and donated the rest. She had offered Xavier the houses for the X-Men but he'd refused. She was becoming a fixture. Sometimes it was handy not to have to ask Warren for money. She mainly lived simply, preferring the food she had grown up with and living in pretty much the same way. Therefore money sat in bank accounts for decades, accumulating interest while she forgot about it. So with a cause to give her money to she had finally got round to doing accounts. It was impressive to say the least. Along with the 'antiques' that she had bought new, she was actually richer than Angel. She didn't realize that the earrings she'd been given some time in India and she'd kept clean out of some sense of duty were now unique and worth more than the Blackbird. She'd quite happily sent them anonymously to a museum and laughed over all the articles. Apparently she hated them.

Tora was seriously wondering why she agreed to do this. A black haired woman who looked quite like a lawyer introduced herself as "Jen", a woman dressed in red as "Wanda" and a slight brown-haired woman as 'Jan'. Then she had her arms grasped firmly by 'Carol' and Sue before being dragged outside to the waiting minivan. She had a feeling she wasn't going to get home until very late.

Three hours later when she'd been forced into the favourite dresses of every hero and was then told that none of them suited her and Jan would design her one she finally managed to get a word in edgeways.

"I was actually just thinking about wearing my costume."

Everyone just looked at her in amazement then Kitty, who'd tagged along, started laughing. Jean was trying not to look hurt and 'Ro just looked amazed she'd lasted as long as she had.

"But you have to wear white…"

"It isn't a tradition. In France, white is traditionally the colour of mourning. Mary Queen of Scots caused a shock by wearing white at her wedding."

She'd sunk them. Hopefully they'd just let her go home now so she could curl up with a coffee and a book. No such luck.

"Well then, we'll go onto the dress for going on the honeymoon."

"What? I was just going to wear my usual clothes."

"Tora, I saw all your clothes when I went to do the laundry. I think Logan would appreciate something more…er…"

"Sexy?"

"Thanks Carol."

"Why?"

"First, what's with the jeans and shirts? It looks like you're imitating him."

"They're practical."

"Second, I've seen your underwear. And it's as uninspired as your clothes. It's all white cotton."

"And?"

"So we're going to get some nice outfits for your honeymoon and some underwear to send Logan reeling."

"Please don't do this to me Jean…"

"So, does anybody know any good shops?"

"Please Jean…"

Before she could protest anymore, she was dragged out of the bridal boutique and into the sorts of shops she would normally never set foot in. It took another hour to explain "I don't do skirts, I can't kick people in them." No one believed her when she said she was quite happy dressed as she was. It was when she saw the shop they were planning to go in next that she finally snapped.

"No, please don't make me go in there."

The models in the window all showed skimpy lace underwear. In various garish colours.

"Please no…"

"Come on."

"Help…"

"Right, which ones do you like?"

"Etana, if you can hear me, now would be a good time to rescue me…"

"I think the red…"

"No, the black…"

"Please, someone get me out of here."

"This is nice…"

"Anyone?"

"I think she should buy this…"

"Please let the Brotherhood attack…"

"Logan would flip for this…"

"Or failing that, can I have a stroke…"

"No, they don't do them in her size…"

"Or is you can't do that, can I have a heart attack…"

"I might get some of these. Even if she doesn't…"

"Please just let me die…"

"I think we need to go smaller…"

"Father, please, please, please stop this torture…"

"Tora, you haven't said anything?"

"Please, please, please somebody rescue me…"

"Come on Tora, are you even paying attention?"

"Please someone get me out of here…"

"Tora, are you OK? You have a glazed look…"

Suddenly hands slid under her arms and she felt the now familiar feeling of Etana teleporting.

"I owe you one."

"Sorry I wasn't there earlier. I was busy. And I couldn't find you."

They were in a spacious penthouse apartment with a view of the New York skyline. Etana noticed Tora's impressed look.

"I like to have space to practice."

"Thanks Etana. They were getting overexcited."

"Tell me about it. Coffee?"

"Please."

"I really wouldn't mind if you eloped. You could have any of my other houses. Just as long as you tell me."

"Jean stole my identification. I don't know where she hid it."

"Forge the papers."

"I can't do that. OK I can do that but it's not morally right. And I wouldn't feel like I was married to Logan."

Etana smiled and disappeared into what Tora supposed was the kitchen. She looked around the room decorated simply in a minimalist style. Photos were scattered across the cabinet. Tora wandered over and smiled. Every single one was of Logan. Logan smiling, Logan laughing, a young Logan hugging Etana. Even a photo of her and Logan. It looked just like a display a proud mother would put up.

"I can't think what to get you two. The only thing Logan wants are his memories and I don't think he should have them. I thought about a house but you'll be staying at the Institute."

"You don't have to get us anything…"

"I'm the closest thing you have to the groom's mother, I have to get you something…"

"Etana!"

"Tora, I need to tell you something."

"What?"

"I'm not going to live forever. No one does. That's why everything I own is willed to Logan or any children he may have. Unfortunately, Logan's son **was **legitimate, even if he has never met him. Unless Logan wills everything to you or any children, the boy will get everything. I'd rather he doesn't get his hands on some of my stuff. I spent too long gathering information for it to fall into the Cloaked One's hands. That's why I'm changing my will so you get everything to share with Logan. Your children will get precedence over Akhiro."

"I'm not even certain if we want children. We touched the subject, but only briefly. And Etana, I'm not certain you should give all this to me."

"Tora, I trust you. With my life. Very few people can say the Fallen Angel would sleep in the same house as them. Understand?"

"But…"

"Tora, trust me. I am very stubborn. More stubborn than you. The sort of old woman stubbornness. So don't try and change my mind."

"Etana?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

* * *

><p>"Akihiro?"<p>

"Between your times."

"Oh. No one mentioned him."

"Daken."

"Ah… I did terrorize her, didn't I?"

"You could say that."


	26. Midnight Chats

**Memories**

Midnight Chats

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Tora felt guilty on skipping her own pre-wedding party but once again, she was being crowded and spoken to far too loudly for her sensitive ears. She was beginning to regret even telling anybody. After her disappearing act on the shopping trip, her clothes had been bought for her and she now had to stay in the room with her washing else it would mysteriously disappear to the same place as the papers. And this morning, on entering her room after a training session she'd found all her usual clothes gone. Jean had magicked then away and put the clothes bought on the trip in her drawers. Fortunately she'd been expecting something like that and Etana had the clothes she'd need in her attic. She'd also taken the case with the clothes Tora actually wanted to wear to her house in Japan already and so Jean had been able to pack other clothes. That case would also be taken but not opened.

But she had put her foot down on going out for the night. So all the X-Men had been ejected from the mansion for Logan's bachelor party that she knew was touring every bar in New York and she'd been descended on. So when Etana suggested a combat workout to get the frustration out she'd agreed.

The two woman now stood at opposite ends of a bridge over a huge chasm. Etana pulled out a katana and threw it across the bridge so Tora could catch it. She weighed it in her hand and smiled. Her opponent drew her favourite sword and smiled at Tora.

"No powers?"

"Fine."

The two women both moved at exactly the same time, swords clashing in the centre of the bridge. Etana's grin became a grimace.

"You're good."

"Trained from childhood."

The two women danced around one another, each blow being parried by the other. One whose talent had been honed over the centuries to make her a superb combatant, the other whose talent had been implanted as a child. Both two of the best traditional katana fighters in the world. Almost perfectly matched. But not quite. Tora feinted then brought her sword round in a blow that stopped just where Etana's neck had been. Only to feel cold steel pressed on her own neck.

"You 'ported."

"Of course. Rule Number One."

"Which is?"

"Always, **always **cheat."

"Fine."

Tora dropped her sword and in one smooth movement cut through the ropes of the bridge and dug her claws into the wood. She heard Etana fall then the steady wing-beats. She kept forgetting that just because she could teleport, it didn't mean those night wings were useless. Apparently it took her centuries to realise she could 'port so she flew everywhere. Hands caught around her waist and she was flown to the top of the chasm.

"Good. You almost had me."

"End program."

The chasm, ruined bridge and echoing walls faded away.

"I have to say, you should definitely fight more often with a sword. Even if your skill was implanted, you still have the natural talent."

"Thanks Etana. You're better than anyone I ever fought."

The two women walked out of the Danger Room and past the main party.

"I can't think of it as mine. It's more Jean's engagement party."

"I have to say, I expected Scott to propose before that."

"I think Logan giving him four Canadian beers in advance shocked him into proposing."

"My adoptive son is more trouble than he's worth."

"That conversation we had at your flat…It got me thinking."

"About?"

"Our line of work. It's not the safest. So I've left instructions and directions to Weapon X. It's enough to blow everything out of the water. Proof. Photos. And video footage. Of my…my childhood. If shown, it will destroy everything they worked for. People will be prepared to turn a blind eye to adults. They get called volunteers. But a child?"

"Why not reveal it straight away?"

"Because with my scars I won't hide, I'm easily recognizable. And I don't want pity. Only Logan can guess what they did to me. It's better to let people make their own conclusions. It can't be any worse than what I had done to me."

"What did they do to you?"

Tora stopped on the steps out to the grounds. Etana could see the pain contorting her face.

"It hurt…"

"Tora…?"

"It hurt and they wouldn't stop. They beat me. They cut me. Blasted me with radiation. Gave me drugs. Burned me. Hurt me."

"What did they do to you?"

Tears were now running down her ruined face.

"One day a guard beat me. He beat me and wouldn't stop. Then he…he…"

"He?"

"I now know what he was going to do. At the time I didn't understand…"

"Tora?"

"He was going to hurt me. Then the Professor came. Screamed at him. Told him I shouldn't be touched like that. They were saving me see. Saving me for Weapon X."

She was shaking now, trapped in her memories, unable to escape from them.

"Tora, I'm sorry. Don't say-"

"And he told the guard to go and when he was running away the Professor shot him. I saw a man murdered. I was…I was five years old."

She was crying properly now, tears streaming out of her eyes. Wordlessly, Etana held her close as the five-year-old girl finally was able to cry out the pain she had suffered. Finally Tora pulled away and ran into the darkness. She needed time alone. Fear and a feeling that she was just playing out the life that had been planned for her were playing on all her doubts about the next day. A scent caused her to stop and look around in shock.

"Mystique?"

"Tigress."

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm coming to warn you."

"Warn me about what Mystique?"

"Logan. He burns child, he burns those he cares for."

"I'm not afraid of fire."

"You should be child. You shall be."

"Shut up Mystique! Give me one reason not to call the others?"

"Because they're all passed out or too drunk to notice."

"Not all of us Raven!"

Mystique whipped round to see Etana perched on a branch.

"YOU!"

"Yes Raven."

"But…But."

"You never thought that I would survive your double-cross. Why else did your son survive?"

"You…you…"

The hate in both women's voices was obvious.

"Er…"

"I'll tell you later Tora."

"Tell her? Will you tell her everything? About how you warned me away from your grandfather? Or about how you stole my son?"

"You threw your infant son into the river."

"Or about how you told my husband resulting in his death?"

"I did not kill him Raven. You did that yourself."

"Or how you tried to kill me when I was with Azazel?"

"You know I wouldn't try and kill you. It was him I swore to kill. I swore it on my uncle's graves and on the memory of my mother. He killed his own daughter Raven! Why do you think you meant anything to him?"

Suddenly Mystique lashed out, hitting Etana with a branch.

"You act so superior. You're just a bitter old woman."

"Coming from you Raven, that doesn't mean much."

She was moving faster than the blue shapeshifter, striking with wings as well as fists.

"You left me to die. You told the people I was the demon that cursed you. You said I was a witch who pretended to be an angel to cure you of your childlessness. And you were going to kill your son because he destroyed the life you had built for yourself. I'm the best Raven, but even the best can't fight off a mob when holding a baby."

Suddenly she backed off.

"Run little shifter. Run before I lose control."

Mystique didn't need any more invitation. It was obvious who would have won that fight. Shapeshifting was no match for someone who could fly then drop you. And Etana had much more experience. She was crouching on the ground, struggling not to go charging after Mystique.

"What was that about?"

"Raven and I have a past together. She had an affair with Azazel and I attempted to stop it. She had a son and in labour revealed herself as a mutant. I rescued her son but she called me a demon that had enchanted her and I was forced to flee with the child. I gave him to a family but the mob caught up with me. Almost beat me to death. I was able to teleport but my wings were broken. Since then it has hurt for me to fly."

Tora remembered the pained look Etana had had when she'd been forced to fly over a mile. It was a miracle her wings had reset. She managed to get back up.

"And she toyed with Logan for years. That's the real reason I hate her. But she can't know about that."

"Etana, can I talk to you? In private?"

She reached out a hand and Tora grasped it to reappear in Etana's room. She looked round. No one really came up here. After all, the only entrance was a trapdoor which had now got a cabinet over the top of it. That and the open window. The room was very simple and looked as though it was only used for sleeping in. Meaning Etana spent the time alone doing whatever it was she did. For some reason there had been lots of confessions in New York recently. She denied all knowledge.

"Etana, I'm worried about…"

"Tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Do you-?"

"I'm not exactly an expert on marriage."

"It's not the marriage. It's…after…"

She blushed.

"Tora, I'm not the person to ask about that."

"But you're three thousand…"

"Yes and I was raised in a time I could have been stoned to death for having a physical relationship."

"But…"

"And while it was common for us to marry young, no one would marry me. I was the angel-girl. Then I stopped aging and the thought of taking husband after husband depressed me."

"But now…"

"And I don't enter relationships for a single night because firstly, I'm not that sort of person, secondly, I've lasted over three thousand years so why start now and finally, I am about the most Orthodox Jew you will ever find."

"When you put it like that…"

Etana smiled slightly.

"In fact, you could probably find out more from the women downstairs."

"Please don't send me back. Charles almost started therapy sessions after the shopping trip."

Etana's slight smile grew even wider.

"I am really looking forward to having you as a 'daughter'-in-law."

"I'm not certain I can think of you as a mother-in-law."

"Naomi and Ruth got on well enough."

"I… Why do you keep doing that?"

"What?"

"Making allusions to Biblical times and name-dropping."

"Ruth was before my time."

"By how long?"

"Enough."

"But I'm still worried about tomorrow."

"Tora. Look at me. Don't. Worry. At. All."

"But…"

"Look, I don't know if this will make you feel better, but you won't be Logan's first."

"I know that. He told me shortly after we first started going out."

"So trust Logan if you don't trust me."

"I trust you Etana. I…I'm just scared, that's all."

"Aren't we all? Logan wanted to talk to me this morning about exactly this."

"You mean…?"

"He's just as scared as you are."

"But…"

Etana's silver eyes sparkled.

"Do you think he'd forgive you if you decided to back out now?"

"Good point."

"So do you want to get a coffee or something?"

"Are you a telepath Etana? I may need decaff because I'll be awake most of tonight anyway."

"Come on Tora. I have to say, my life improved when coffee became common."

"You're as bad as I am."

"No. I'm addicted to caffeine. You just like the stuff."

"I go shaky if I don't have any."

"It's all in your head."

"Everyone says that."

"You have a healing factor. Logan can give up beer and cigars any time he wants. He isn't addicted."

"He attacked Scott when he removed the beer."

"But that's because he's Scott."

* * *

><p>"I don't remember her leaving the party."<p>

"Jean, were you actually paying any attention to her?"

"Er…Not really…"

"See."


	27. Joining and Breaking

**Memories**

Joining and Breaking

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

"I can't go out."

"Tora…"

"Everyone's there!"

"Tora…"

"They'll all stare at me!"

"TORA!"

"I can't…"

"Tigress, you will go out there right now or my name isn't Jean Grey."

"Please Jean, don't make me go out there."

"Tora, Logan will kill you if you don't go out there right now!"

"But everyone will stare."

"No they won't. I'll make sure of that."

"I'm scared."

"Tora, you made a choice."

"Please…"

Suddenly Jean, Ororo, Kitty and Eloise were all hugging her.

"It will be alright Tora. Just one step and then take another. One step after another and you'll be beside Logan before you know it."

She was pale, from fear and lack of sleep. And it looked like every hero since World War Two was there. But she could see Cap standing beside Logan and Kurt looking expectantly down the aisle. And she could see Etana with her silver hair covered in a blood-red scarf. She still went by the old tradition of keeping her head covered for special occasions. She also offered to take Kitty to the synagogue on the Sabbath but Kitty had refused. So Etana went alone, face covered. She refused an image inducer. And the legends had been passed down. The woman who kept her face covered at all times, who never spoke. Who listened then left. She never missed the Sabbath. She never fought or used her powers either. She often remained locked in her attic room.

But now she was sitting quietly with the other X-Men. Or rather Scott, Warren, Hank, Remy, Charles and Piotr. Kurt had been a little worried as for a week he'd thought he was going to have to be best man **and** the priest but Logan had ended up asking his old/new friend to best man to stop Kurt getting Sinister to clone him or his mother to pretend to be him. Jean, Ororo, Kitty, Jubilee, Rogue and Eloise were all crowding her, trying to persuade her to leave the house.

"Right Tora. If you do not walk out there in ten seconds I will paff you."

"Thanks Jubilee. Tora really needed that."

"No Jean. That's just what I needed."

And in a sudden flurry of movement so at contrast with the deathly stillness of moments before she swept down the steps. The others had to rush a bit to keep up. Jean only just remembered to send everyone a message about not staring. Most people ignored it. Tora had vetoed the dress. Instead she wore a white version of her costume with a silver headdress and no facemask. The long silver-grey cloak Etana had given her finished off the outfit. She didn't so much walk as stalk, with all the fierce animal pride that made her look almost beautiful. And the beauty didn't matter. Anyway, many knew if Logan heard any of what they were thinking, they would probably lose a few limbs.

Nerves were screaming, but Tora ignored them. She glanced at Jubilee.

"If it looks like I'm getting scared, paff me, right."

Jubilee gave a huge and evil grin. She was **so **going to enjoy this!

* * *

><p>"How many times did she paff Tora?"<p>

"Five. Twice when she was trying to say the vows."

"I loved the fact she told Kurt to cut out the obeying bit unless Logan had it as well."

"She knew he'd either order her out of battle or something stupid. And she didn't do obeying well."

* * *

><p>Etana finally stopped hugging them both and started crying. She'd held up remarkably well during the service. As she pointed out, she was the closest thing to the groom's mother possible. It was her job to cry. The feathers around her eyes were soaked.<p>

"I wasn't certain what to get you. Then I remembered these."

She held up two rings.

"Soul-bands. Linked. If you wear them, you'll always know where the other is and if they are in danger. I was going to give them to you in place of wedding rings but you'd already bought them. I understand if you don't want them. But they work. I used to use them for work purposes. I know how to make them change owner. But you have to be wearing them so they work."

She didn't get any further as Tora gave her a quick hug.

"Thank you."

The slender silver bands with tiny gemstones were worn immediately. Etana gave a slightly sad smile before leaving to allow others to get on with crowding the couple. Somehow she managed to be on the edge of the celebrations so no one saw the sadness in her eye.

"Shadow?"

"It's Etana, Steve."

"Etana then."

She turned to see the handsome blond man.

"You know something don't you?"

"Yes."

"What?"

"My teacher, the one I trusted more than anyone told me what would happen. I know what's going to happen to them. I know how I'm going to die."

"Etana?"

"I'm not afraid. If anything, I'm happy with how I choose to go. Remember asking me in Poland why I wasn't afraid of dying?"

"Yes. Your answer threw me. 'I know when I am going to die. I choose to die.'"

Etana was gazing sadly into space.

"Etana?"

"Steve, no matter what happens, I need you to tell Logan that the darkness won't last."

"What?"

"I have to go. I only stayed because Logan and Tora needed me. I thought I would stay but she told me I didn't and since I got to know Tora I can understand why."

"What are you talking about?"

Tears were staining her short fur.

"I…I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because if I tell you, you'll tell them and the entire time stream will go shooting off at an angle."

"You said you knew when you were going to die. When?"

"Not for a year."

"You're telling me you have a year to live."

"May 19th, 2007. It puts a damper on their first wedding anniversary."

"You know you've less than a year to live and you're talking about ruining their wedding anniversary?"

"When you've lived as long as I have, death is actually quite promising. All those I never got a chance to say goodbye to."

"How?"

"Oh, I'm not dying violently. Even if I decide I don't want to die the way I will, I'll die anyway."

"What?"

"When I die, I'll be ill. Dying of a plague. A virus. A Legacy. It's easier the way I chose. I know it's not exactly my religion but '_A man can show no greater love than to lay down his life for his friends_'."

"Stop the classical quotes! Shadow, you've just told me quite calmly you're going to die!"

"Death isn't the end Steve. Surely you know that. You have died and come back."

"I was frozen in ice. There's a difference."

"Really?"

"YES!"

"Steve, I've accepted my death. You should too. When you find out how I die, you'll understand."

"I can't believe you don't try and change things!"

"If you continue in this attitude Steve, I'll leave."

"Shadow… You can't die. We never talked about things…"

"At the time it wouldn't work out. Now, I won't hurt you anymore."

* * *

><p>"That's why Steve came bursting in and told us to find her. A day late."<p>

"Yes."

"I cried for hours."

"She chose to die. She gave her life for us. All of us. Remember that Jean."

* * *

><p>Etana smiled slightly. She looked back at Logan and Tora sitting in the back of the Blackbird talking animatedly. Ororo was acting as pilot. Kurt had challenged Spider-man to a wall-crawling contest and in the confusion that resulted, Etana, Ororo, Logan and Tora had slipped away. Etana because she knew where the house was, Ororo because Etana couldn't fly. She couldn't drive either. Apparently she never got round to learning how.<p>

"Logan, we will be there soon. Ororo, you need to adjust the course slightly. You're aiming too far south."

"Is that better Shadow?"

"Yes."

She stood up and walked to the back, dived into the food locker and removed the painkillers. Her wings were screaming again, the pain getting control. Once upon a time, she'd loved flying. Now it hurt just to move her wings too fast. She never used to teleport, preferring to run or fly. Now it was an easy way of moving. She downed half the recommended dose and put the pack back. She couldn't forgive Mystique for being responsible for the breaking of her wings. And the attempted infanticide. Sometimes she wondered about having her wings amputated. They weren't much use as they were. She caught a snatch of conversation as she walked past.

"Yar certain?"

"Yes, I am certain Logan. I heard the words exactly."

Wondering what they were talking about, Etana returned to her seat and began correcting the flight path. If she had stayed to listen, she may not have been pleased.

"She says she dies?"

"She told Captain America she dies next year."

"How can she know?"

"Something about her teacher…"

"Why did you have to tell me this?"

"Because I felt you had a right to know."

"You were eavesdropping…"

"I couldn't help it. I was going over to talk to her and I heard her telling Cap she dies on the 19th of May."

"That exact huh?"

"It's not funny Logan. Our friend is going to die!"

"We don't know that for certain. She's not a precog. She doesn't know for certain…"

"She knows Logan. She was taught by a time-traveller. She told me. Her teacher is someone close to us. A incredibly powerful mutant."

"An X-Man?"

"She didn't say. But she said we'd know her when we met her. Said she was one of the greatest warriors of all time. Apparently she defeated Magneto in single-combat. With her powers blocked."

"Defeated…Magneto…"

"Hard to believe. I've been practising against the Magneto robot and I've only ever beaten him at 40%. And never with the dampeners down."

"Any other clues?"

"Something about her being Jean's sister."

"Jean's sister is human though."

"I think she meant it figuratively. The only person I can think of is 'Ro, but I'm not sure she could beat Magneto without her powers."

"Did she actually say Jean's sister?"

"No. She said 'My teacher was the sister of the Phoenix.' Does that mean something else?"

"It could. The Phoenix could mean Jean. Or the Phoenix Force."

"So, could the person be, I don't know, another Phoenix Force avatar?"

"Possibly. I don't think there could be anything like the Phoenix. It's pretty unique."

* * *

><p>"PRETTY UNIQUE!"<p>

"Calm down dear."

"Jean, he just completely **ignored **my existence and the existence of countless other cosmic entities. We aren't even as powerful as Eternity."

"He didn't know you existed. You always were the more quiet of us. And he certainly knew your avatar existed."

"I'm fine, I'm fine. Moments when I let my pride get the better of me."

"You've only lost control four times in the whole span of the universe."

"Yes, but I'm worse than you. I apologise in advance for throwing you in the black hole."

"I shattered you throughout the multiverse."

"Yes, but I chucked you into a black hole."

"Look, that was ages ago."

"Yes, but it's only a few years in the Eye."

"Look, that's all in the past. To be fair, you fixed it in three minutes. I left you shattered."


	28. Alone

**Memories**

Alone

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

"There should be enough food to last the week. I'd eat the sushi within two days, as I'm not sure how well it will keep. Everything else is non-perishable. I'm not always sure when I'll come back so everything needs to last."

"Thanks Etana."

"People don't come here often. This place was supposed to be demolished in the 1800's but I bought it. I learnt most of my Japanese here. I better go. Leave you two alone. Oh, and watch out for the fish. I accidentally introduced some piranhas into the pond and they've bred like crazy."

"Er…piranhas?"

"I thought they were carp. The meat to feed them is in the bottom right cupboard in the kitchen."

"How did you mistake piranhas for carp?"

"OK, I decided I wanted pet piranhas. They are brilliant. Watch out for Horace. He's the big one who runs the pack. He was tiny when I got him."

"Horace?"

"Ex-friend of mine."

"Ex-?"

"Sold me out to the Nazis. My entire village was killed. That's when I bought the piranhas. I didn't kill him. I just dangled him there for a few days until he begged for mercy. Then I took him to the International Court. He was sentenced to death. Got off on the grounds he was insane. Kept babbling about the black angel who was going to kill him. Committed suicide in 1947."

"Your village?"

Etana shuddered.

"I promised them safety. I even had a boy who would have one day become like Logan to me. Max. I rescued him from Auschwitz. But Horace sold us out, told how to get into the village without being seen. They were slaughtered as they slept. I woke in time to hide Max and did my best to protect the children. I killed every single attacker. But my village was destroyed. They burned my house down. Max was still in it. But that isn't the point. I'm ruining your honeymoon. There's a radio transmitter in the tower room. Pick any room you want. Except mine. That's the little room with the wireless."

She disappeared. Logan and Tora looked at each other.

"Your mother keeps piranhas."

"She's not my mother!"

"She's as good as."

"You feed the piranhas. I'll make the food."

"Fine. I've always wanted to study piranhas."

"You're kidding."

"No I'm not. They're very interesting animals."

She started rifling through the cupboard and found the food with a note. 'Feed piranhas every third day. One side of cow.' And a food chart with a notice saying that they were due to be fed tomorrow.

Tora walked out and gazed into the pond. Which had about ten piranhas swimming back and forth. There was no doubt which one was Horace. He was giving her the evil eye from the bottom of the pool. She could almost guess why Etana chose them to scare the traitor. They **looked **evil.

She decided to try a test. She extended a single claw and carefully put it into the water. The change was immediate. The fish all started trying to take chunks out of the metal. She removed it and shook off the single very determined piranha.

"Communing with the wildlife?"

She turned and grinned. Logan was looking slightly depressed at the mess on the plates.

"I never could do sushi."

She sighed slightly.

"It was prepared for us. You simply had to open the packets."

"Oh."

"Yes. Oh. It's the food used for commuters."

"Well. There's another packet. And we could feed this to the fish."

He tipped the ruined food into the pond and the fish went into a feeding frenzy. Then they went into the kitchen and tried to make a halfway decent meal out of the food left. In the end they gave up. It wasn't worth it. Logan glanced at Tora who was looking over the numerous books in the corner of the room.

"No wonder she didn't want any books. She has first editions of most classics. And the original Sherlock Holmes, as printed in the magazines."

"Are you more interested in the books, or me."

She turned and smiled.

"Definitely more interested in the books. But I'm not sure we're allowed to touch them. So I'll have to make do with you."

"So shall we choose which room we'll be spending the week in?"

"Might as well."

They moved around the building. It was an old monastery. Etana had obviously spent time there, as a series of painted walls attested. It showed her arriving, being hailed as some sort of god. Then her learning to fight. An image of her with a katana. The paintings were faded, obviously not looked after. All the other paintings had been restored. But any containing Etana was left to fade. Or rather, everything except her was repainted.

Logan glanced into one of the rooms which had a low futon bed and windows with a view of the mountains. Traditional Japanese tapestries decorated the stone walls.

"This one?"

Tora glanced in, then smiled slightly.

"Definitely."

He leant in to kiss her, glad that he had finally got her. As she responded with a warm kiss, he began to plan the night in detail.

* * *

><p>The pool's image faded to darkness.<p>

"Why did you do that?"

"It's private Jean."

"You are so **moral**."

"Do you blame me?"

"Not really. I take it it hurts too much."

* * *

><p>Logan woke as the sunlight spilled into the room. Tora was close to him, head resting on his chest. Red and black hair splayed over him. He could tell she was totally relaxed. Even when everything was fine, there was always a slight tension in her that suggested she was prepared to fight at a moments notice. He inhaled, catching her scent which was now overlain with his. She was purring slightly. He'd found she didn't snore in her sleep or move too much. Instead she lay almost motionless until the dreams started. Then movements started slowly, as she began to pull against invisible bindings. It escalated until it reached her screaming and begging to be released. Then she'd go silent and simply shudder. He could tell what she was going through. First there was the beginning of the procedure, when they strapped her down. Then they began the initial tests and she'd try and fight back. Then the weary resignation as she realized she wasn't going to get free. When the nightmares had begun again he'd held her close until she relaxed into his arms. He'd heard a few words muttered, mainly to someone named Eva but he wasn't going to intrude. He knew she wouldn't want him to intrude. And he knew she would have heard his nightmares as well. He'd not been at Weapon X. Instead he'd been screaming over the body of a murdered woman. He couldn't remember her face or anything like that. He wasn't certain what caused the nightmare. All he knew was he'd seen a part of his past he would rarely see.<p>

She was stirring now, going from asleep to awake in a few seconds. None of the bleary-eyed urgh moments most people suffered. Instead her eyes opened and she was fully awake. He knew she normally woke up earliest in the whole mansion, although Etana often came down shortly afterwards. They often woke everyone else up when the mansion started shaking. In the end, training sessions had been banned before seven thirty. It was funny how well the two got on. One over three thousand years old, the other in her early twenties. But they would sit and talk for hours. Tora was the only one who didn't get teleportation sickness with Etana, which was impressive seeing as a bamf with Kurt sent her reeling. Something about them travelling through different dimensions. Etana had tried to explain and Hank had got all excited but everyone else just gave blank looks.

Tora stretched, cat-like then started to get up.

"Want a coffee?"

"Not yet."

He reached his arms around her, felt the raised scars on her back and pulled her in towards him.

* * *

><p>The woman in black pulled her head away from the pool. She thought things would have gotten easier over time. But sometimes time made things hurt more. She was being hopeless, trying to gain meaning from ancient times. They were dead and gone, with the rest of them. Everyone, everything died and she couldn't stop it.<p>

Phoenix reached out and touched her reflections arm. They were more than sisters. They were the same, reflections of the other. Pain from one could be felt by the other. Once they had been separate entities. But since everything burned, their link had grown. Soon they would be ready to start again. And they would break apart, ready to begin their eternal fight to burn and to save. But by then, the woman would have gained the thing she desired most. Death.

* * *

><p>Tora was glancing through the food in the cupboards. Etana wasn't the best when it came to cooking. Nights when it was her turn to cook normally resulted in everyone going out. She couldn't get the hang of the oven. She could work everything else technology wise but she was hopeless around the hob. She preferred to cook over an open fire. When she was allowed to, she was a pretty decent cook. It's just she had to light the fires outside and it normally rained on her nights. So it was no surprise that the fireplace was the main cooking area. In the end she'd given up and taken to ordering out. It saved people suffering from food poisoning.<p>

So it came as a surprise to find the place well stocked with various ingredients and a few well-thumbed hand-written cookbooks. Some looked like they had been written on vellum. A few had been circled in ink and had notes saying she thought Logan would like them. They all seemed easy to do and the ingredients were all there. Etana had done it again. Done her best to make everything easier for her. She pulled out the food and sighed.

"Logan, a little help would be appreciated."

He looked round. She sighed again. Somehow he'd managed to find the alcohol. Which was impressive seeing as Etana was almost completely teetotal. But…she had bought beers for Logan. The beers Logan had accused Scott of stealing.

"What?"

"Can you help?"

They both began sorting out the meal, splitting the work equally. Joking about as they got the ingredients prepared, the fire lit and pans heated. Teasing each other as they waited for the water to boil. Forgetting all about the meal. Blaming themselves when the fire was put out by the boiled over water. Laughing when they finally got the meal cooked. Talking as they ate. There were no threats to the world or even just mutantkind. For one week, they were a normal couple. Or as normal as you could be when you're in an old monastery belonging to a three-thousand year old mutant and still plan to train every day. She had a fully operating dojo in one side of the building.

"So, are we going to continue with the training Scott put us on?"

"Not a chance. He'll never know."

They grinned at each other. It looked as though the dojo would go unused.

* * *

><p>Jean was the one who looked sad this time.<p>

"What's wrong Phoenix?"

"Even when everything seemed perfect with me and Scott, we were never like that. Never able to laugh and be properly open. Even though Logan didn't openly display his affection for Tora, he was always –aware of her. She'd enter the room and he'd immediately be looking at her. But they were always equals. Even later, they never allowed another to be the dominant one. So unlike Scott and me."

"Jean…"

"And she was so lucky. How many proper arguments did they have? Did Logan ever cheat on her? Even when she was dead, he never so much as **looked **at another woman in the way he looked at her. And when she came back, I could feel his happiness. I couldn't block it out at all. Even when I offered myself to him, he looked at me like I was nothing. Before her, he would do anything for me. After that, I was a friend. Or maybe even just his wife's friend."

"Jean, I know, I know…"

"She got everything I wanted so much. Family. A faithful husband. Children. Sure, she had a terrible childhood, but after that, everything became perfect. Perfect marriage, perfect kids, perfect powers."

"Perfect? Jean, she had to live with herself. With what she did."

"What did she do that was so terrible?"

"She took a life. Killed a defenceless opponent out of hatred and rage. She, who swore never to kill. She, who placed life so highly."

"But… She wouldn't kill. Why would she kill…?"

"You'll see. I think you deserve to know the truth. Logan lied, protected her. Said he was the killer, just to stop you from looking down on her. Not that you would have. But she let go of her control for a second and it resulted in a death."

"He thought…? Oh… Her."

"Yes. Her."


	29. Following

**Memories**

Following

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

At first glance, the two woman appeared to be Jean Grey and the now Tora Logan. But the Tora double had no scars and there was a madness in her eyes. The Jean had a slight difference in her facial features and her eyes were perfectly sane, but bitter. Both were clones. Both were seething oceans of hatred. Both hated the other but were working towards a common goal. Revenge. One determined to strike out at the man who abandoned her. The other determined to kill her template. They'd met in a New York slum. Tried to kill each other, but that was normally how villain partnerships worked.

"I don't care about planning. I need you to tell me where she is. Then I go and slit her throat."

Madelyne Pryor-Summers rolled her eyes. She'd once met Sabretooth. This mutant was possibly even more twisted and murderous. Maddie had seen her kill a man after enticing him into an alley. For no reason other than she could. Then she'd eaten parts of him. And rung 911. When the police had turned up, she'd gone quietly, and then broken out of the high-speed security van. She was completely insane. A murderous, insane, feral mutant with the capabilities to kill even Wolverine. That was the only reason she agreed to work with her. She would be able to get her into the mansion and strike at the X-Men's heart. In return, she'd find this "Tigress" Miss Circen seemed so desperate to kill. Unfortunately, she couldn't sense her psychic signature. She guessed that Tigress had the same shields as Maddie's new partner. There was absolutely nothing where the woman who called herself Poacher's mind should be. So Maddie was trying to scan for Wolverine. He didn't seem to be in Westchester though and Poacher had assured her that where Wolverine was, Tigress would be as well. Maddie had never really thought of the Canadian being one to settle down.

"He's not in the US."

"Check Japan."

"I'm trying!"

She found the trace. It was in the mountains of Shikoku. She started the searching. Apparently an old monastery had been there. It was scheduled for demolition in the 1800s but an anonymous buyer had saved the place. It had passed from hand to hand since then, last being bought in 1983. The deeds were in the name of a Miss E. Ombre. When she went back through the records, a pattern emerged. The surname of the owner was always the same word in different languages. Shadow. However, she assumed Logan hadn't bought the place, as every single buyer had been female. So a friend? She wouldn't be surprised if Logan was friends with an ancient woman. She began looking up the history of the place. Apparently there used to legends of a black angel who studied there. She decided to look up this "Dark Angel". What she found was incredibly interesting. Throughout history, the Black Angel, the Shadow, the Darkwing, kept popping up. Always where you least expected it. Always when something interesting was happening. And always fighting to protect the weak. She followed a link to a conspiracy theory site. Some people thought it was an organisation of women, others thought it was the same woman throughout all the stories. The last recorded sighting was in Vietnam. So Logan knew this "Shadow". Very interesting. Especially since there was a story about the Shadow killing a man who was going to kill a man with Logan's description then fleeing when this Corporal Logan went to investigate.

"He's in Japan. Shikoku. Why do you think she'll be with him again?"

"They're an item. Not sure how deep they are. But Wolverine will lose another woman."

Maddie rolled her eyes. Poacher was definitely a compulsive maniac. Even with the shields, hate was radiating from her. But she was beginning to regret agreeing to work with her.

* * *

><p>"I hate clones."<p>

"Me too. They make the filing horrendous."

"You can talk about filings at a time like this?"

"I just finished archiving everything."

"Good point. You never were much of an archivist in life. It's amazing how well you adjusted."

"I adapt. It's who I was."

* * *

><p>Tora sighed as she finished packing. It had been lovely to have a break, especially one alone with Logan. She blushed slightly as her digital chips picked out memories and replayed them. If anyone copied them, they would have a field day. She had a feeling Scott would have them straight back on active duty when they got back. She sighed. Jean would know soon enough that her case had been unopened. She had to remember to turn on her digital scramblers when she got back to the States. She checked to make sure she had the card that stated she had been a victim of a terrorist attack and had metal pins in her bones. Apparently, two war veterans would draw attention, especially with her being so young. She checked her passport. French citizenship, but not under the name of Marie Circen. That name was too well known. No, she was travelling as Tora Logan. She stuck the passport into her bag and did a final sweep of the room. Nothing forgotten. She inhaled and caught the various scents in the room. Luckily, Etana didn't have enhanced senses. If she did, she'd catch all the scents. She wondered if they should have switched rooms a few times, just to play the scent down. She shrugged. It wasn't as if anyone would be coming here for a while. She gave everything one last check before picking up her case. Logan arrived behind her.<p>

"Got everything?"

"Yes."

"How long before One-Eye puts us back on active duty?"

"Two minutes."

"You're on."

"How long do you think?"

"One minute."

"Deal."

They grinned at each other. They still made the jokes they had before that day in July when she'd found her family.

"Ready to go?"

"Think so. I'll miss this."

"So will I. I'll definitely miss some of the stuff we've done."

She blushed at that.

"You're hopeless Logan."

"Come on. The plane leaves in four hours."

She did one last sweep of the room before leaving. She was really going to miss this place.

* * *

><p>"She loved that house. She kept going back there."<p>

"Of course she did. Some of the best things happened to her there."

"Then she abandoned it."

"Wouldn't you?"

"Considering what happened there, I don't blame her."

* * *

><p>The air hostess glanced at the couple in seats 4B and C again. They looked so content. Both looked asleep, her head resting on his chest, his head on hers. They had both addressed her in fluent Japanese, which was a nice change from most Americans. Although it turned out they weren't American at all. The man was Canadian and the woman French. According to one of the ground staff, the man had been injured in some war and the woman in a terrorist attack. The woman had some bad scars on her face. It looked like she'd been mauled by an animal. She leant over towards the man.<p>

"Excuse me sir. We will be landing in five minutes."

He nodded once and gently shook the woman's arm until her eyes snapped open. She glanced at him then nodded briskly, like she had guessed why he had woken her. Her eyes were odd, a deep gold colour with slightly outsized irises and more oval pupils than a normal person. The hostess wondered if she was a mutant. It would fit with the streak in her hair which was a different shade of red to the rest of her hair. In fact, it looked as though the hair had been dyed. Odd. That weird woman on the flight out looked like her. Only she didn't have the scars. Perhaps she was her twin? Not wanting to appear nosy, the hostess moved on to the next person she was supposed to wake.

* * *

><p>Phoenix reached out and touched the water. The image rippled once but didn't change.<p>

"I still can't work this thing."

Her companion smiled slightly and waved a hand, changing the image.

"Show-off."

"It's not everyday I get to do something better than you."

* * *

><p>Maddie could tell the place was empty. Her companion was scenting the air of the courtyard.<p>

"They were here. They left a few hours ago."

"So they've gone back?"

Poacher didn't answer. Instead she continued to scent the air.

"There was someone else here. Not for a week but has been here for years. Female, smells of bird and cat. Mutant."

"The Shadow?"

"Probably."

The feral clone padded inside the building. Suddenly she opened the door to a room with a view of the mountains and sniffed hard. A cruel smile slid over her face.

"Naughty, naughty Tigress."

"What?"

Maddie's companion didn't answer. Instead she just moved on. Eventually she came back to the courtyard. Maddie suddenly noticed the pond and became aware of how sore her feet were. The other woman got there first, sliding her feet into the water without bothering to look into it.

The screams echoed around the mountains.

* * *

><p>Phoenix gave a self-satisfied smirk.<p>

"Idiot."

"Be fair. You don't expect piranhas in a pond."

"Good point. Too bad her feet grew back."

"Remember Etana when she found her darling pets slaughtered."

"Oh, that was bad. Very bad."


	30. Troublesome Discussions

**Memories**

Troublesome Discussions

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Jean gazed over the crowds in the airport. Where on earth were they? Their flight had come in half an hour ago. Suddenly her phone ran. She flipped it open.

"Hello?"

"Jean, we may be a little late."

"What happened?"

"Logan's been arrested."

"WHAT?"

"He got a bit annoyed when they insisted on searching me at the metal detectors."

"Oh…"

"Didn't you hear the sirens?"

"Er…"

"Well that was Logan."

"Oh…"

"Don't tell Scott will you?"

"I'll try not to. Oh…"

"What is it? That was the 'Oh dear, Tora isn't going to like what I have to say' tone of voice."

"The news channel is just showing Logan being leapt on by airport security. You're on national news. Scott is going to kill him."

"No he won't. I'll have already killed him."

"Good point."

Jean heard the tone that told her Tora had rung off and sat down for a long wait. It was three hours before they released Logan.

"Sorry Jeannie."

"It's fine Logan. Etana will be the one who's upset."

"Why?"

"Because she had a meeting at four and may be away for three days. She was hoping to see you before she left."

"Ah…"

"Yes, ah. And Kurt just rang. Scott is going to kill you."

"Like to see him try."

"Logan, I'll be helping him. That was so embarrassing. And what did it achieve?"

"Er…"

"Exactly."

"I got you a female security staff member to search you."

"And all the male security was too terrified to search me. Because you kept glowering at them."

Jean giggled.

"So that's why he went crazy."

Tora went to collect their bags from the lost property office, leaving Jean spluttering with laughter and Logan getting annoyed with all the security staring at him. When she came back with the bags, they walked out to the Professor's Rolls Royce, which Jean had commandeered to bring them back. She could feel Logan's emotions plainly. Where Tora should be, there was still absolutely nothing. Jean had given up on ever reading her mind. The shields were too strong.

* * *

><p>Phoenix smiled slightly. It was quite interesting to go back to see how she used to be. It was a good idea to relive the past.<p>

* * *

><p>Etana had stayed long enough to say goodbye to Logan. She mentioned she may be gone a while. Three days at the least, a month at most. It all depended on what leads she could get. They'd had time to thank her for the use of her home before she disappeared to do some mission for Nick Fury with Captain America. Apparently to do with them working together back in the War.<p>

The other X-Men had decided to surprise them by moving all their stuff into a room away from the others. Tora's books lined one wall, Logan's Japanese artefacts another. There was a desk with a small album put together of wedding photos. The only thing they hadn't quite been prepared to rearrange were the bathrooms. That didn't take long to sort. Within twenty minutes of returning, Scott had them back in the Danger Room, training to show that they hadn't lost their edge in the week away from the others.

Later in the evening, Tora, Jean, Ororo and Rogue were in Storm's attic, talking about all sorts. Then Jean gave a slight glance at Tora.

"So, what was the house like?"

"Amazing. Apart from the piranhas."

"What?"

"Etana keeps piranhas. Horace kept trying to eat me."

"Horace?"

"The big one."

"Let's get this straight. Etana keeps piranhas. As in the carnivorous fish that can strip a cow to the bone."

"Yes. Those piranhas."

"May I ask, why?"

"She bought them to punish a traitor. She didn't kill him. Just terrified him."

"Why can I imagine Logan doing that?"

The conversation ebbed there, as people tried to find a topic that could eventually lead to the thing they were all interested in. The piranha comment showed them a side of Etana not usually seen. The side of her that meant she was able to do what she did with ease. Jean managed to get back to the subject.

"So, what did you do?"

"Went walking. Talked a lot. Avoided anywhere we could hear news from the States."

"You really took the 'under no circumstances are we to be disturbed' thing a little too far."

"'Ro, you know as well as I do that Scott would have us back at the slightest hint of a problem."

"She has got a point sugah."

Finally Jean managed to get to the thing she'd been trying to ask.

"What's it like to sleep with Logan?"

Tora glanced at her then an odd look crossed her face.

"He snores a lot and hogs the quilt. But he doesn't mind me using him as a hot-water bottle."

"No…"

Tora shook her head then jerked it towards the door, mouthing 'The girls'. Jean scanned and found Kitty, Eloise and Jubilee all leaning against the door, listening in. She decided to tease them.

_Girls, stop listening in. If you want to find out about Logan snoring, come in. If not, scram._

She felt them run to get away before anyone else caught them.

"You know what I mean Tora."

But Tora just gave a slight smile and offered to get drinks and making a remark about being tired.

* * *

><p>"I admit, I was interested. She never mentioned anything she wouldn't say in front of the girls."<p>

"She never said anything about someone she wouldn't say to their face."

"Like when she told Tony Stark she thought he was an arrogant twit but he was basically okay."

"You weren't there."

"I heard about it. I must say, I wish I had been there."

"You'll see it, don't worry."


	31. Just A Little Sadness

**Memories**

Just A Little Sadness

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

They heard Scott shout over the com-link that they had to go to Manhattan now, as there was some sort of emergency. Tora sighed and put her half-drunk cup of coffee down on the desk. She looked at the sketch she'd been doing and grinned. They'd only been back for two weeks and in that time Dr Doom had tried to take over the world and a building in San Francisco had been blown up by Mystique. The Brotherhood job had been easy. Find them, fight them, beat them, just like they always did. The Doom problem had been harder. They'd been captured but Gambit had charged his chains so they blew up and got everyone else out. Then it had just been a charge through the castle and threats to electrocute the good doctor until he promised to give up on that plan to rule the world. She'd been hoping for a break. Not a chance.

She went downstairs with Logan and they got changed into their uniforms before the Blackbird took off.

"Why are we flying? Parking's terrible in Manhattan."

Everyone just groaned at the joke and didn't answer. Tora grinned under the mask. The other women all had open facemasks or headdresses. Jean, who had returned to Phoenix, and Rogue didn't wear anything on their heads and Storm wore a headdress. Kitty, who was now going by Shadowcat, couldn't chose. She was veering towards the no-mask course though. Eloise was angling for a position on the X-Men but Tora adamantly refused to allow her anywhere near the Danger Room, let alone the basement or the Blackbird. Jubilee, despite going around a lot with Logan, who she called Wolvie, wasn't officially an X-Man. She was getting there though. However Eloise had said if Jubilee became an X-Man, she should be allowed to be one as well and Tora had gone upstairs with a headache.

When they landed, it was obvious where they were needed. Just follow the cloud of smoke and go the way everyone else is running from. Scott was in full leader mode.

"Angel, can you find out what's going on? Tigress, Wolverine and Colossus, go ahead, clear the way for us. Beast, Storm rescue civilians. Rogue, Gambit, Iceman try and reduce the amount of structural damage. Shadowcat, Phoenix, with me. Nightcrawler, go with Angel."

He didn't bother to check to see if everyone was obeying his orders. He knew they would be. In times like this, they worked together. In the corner of his eye he saw Angel and Nightcrawler fly and teleport towards the smoke, Colossus, Wolverine and Tigress running after them, getting abandoned cars out of the way. They knew what to do. They all did. Jean linked their minds. He could sense everyone but Tora, who would be listening to Logan and Piotr. Cyclops led them towards the explosions. Angel sent a message back to him.

_New bad guys. Looks like they're tech-based. There's twelve of them. So two of us will have to team up._

_I can count Warren. See if you can work out who should fight whom._

_Well, there's a big guy with Colossus's name on him. And Wolverine should fight the insane chick with the whip._

Cyclops heard Jean's psychic laughter. Then Angel sent an image of the three forerunners arriving and getting into the swing of things. When Cyclops and the rest got there, they appeared to be outnumbered and it showed. Tigress was fighting four, Wolverine, the three most dangerous looking, Colossus was in a headlock from the largest of the lot and Angel and Nightcrawler fighting two each. The help that the others gave them meant the fight didn't go on for long. Tigress was batted over a few blocks, but she got back in time to help take down the leader. No one noticed that she could have got back earlier or that she seemed down.

"Good work everyone."

Most smiled happily. Piotr armoured down and Warren and Ororo landed. Logan took a few steps towards Tora and suddenly everything went wrong. A shot echoed and Tora pushed Logan out of the way, staggering backwards with a long dart sticking out of her stomach. When Storm stepped towards her, Tora waved her back. A single trickle of blood ran from her nose. For a second, it seemed like time had stopped. Then a second blast emanated from the dart and she fell. Logan caught her and she managed to put her hand to his face. Slow, stuttering words were whispered. He had to strain to hear her.

"So sorry…don't cry _Carcajou_…I'll be watching…from…somewhere. I love…"

Her hand slid down his face, landing on her chest. The fingers on the other hand scrabbled at his chest then were still.

"Wolverine, what happened?"

For a long time, the Canadian didn't answer. When he did, it was in a deadpan tone, making it obvious he was just speaking because he had been asked.

"Healing halter on the dart. Shrapnel pierced her heart and lungs. Internal bleeding. Should have caused instantaneous death."

He was holding her close, cradling her head to his chest. His uniform was being stained with seeping blood and red hair was brushing the ground. No one was quite able to believe what had happened. Doom had slit her open in front of them and she'd laughed it off. She'd made a stupid joke on the way here. She'd been making a sarcastic remark in French to Gambit ten minutes beforehand. She'd been taunting her opponent. An hour ago she'd been having an argument with Eloise about joining the X-Men. At lunch, she'd entertained them all with a Magneto impersonation which was surprisingly accurate, despite her having never fought him. It was inconceivable that the spark inside her that survived torture, brutality and the efforts of numerous supervillains could be extinguished by something as mundane as a dart from an anonymous sniper. But then the realization set in and Kitty began screaming.

In a room in a castle in Scotland, a tiny silver orb set with sapphires started buzzing. A graceful black hand scooped it up and silver eyes examined it. Etana placed the orb back on the table and pressed the largest stone to halt it. She hung her head sadly.

"It is done."

A soft, musical voice spoke out of the gloom.

"And it has not yet ended. Go. The X-Men need you. And Etana? You mustn't tell them the truth. That will come with time. And they cannot know you know. Understand? Even Hunter mustn't know."

The Black Angel turned towards the shadows. A single tear soaked her midnight fur.

"I know."

* * *

><p>Phoenix shuddered.<p>

"I remember that. All too well. When we removed her mask her eyes were so empty. And Eloise was crying for hours. We wouldn't let her see the body."

"Do you want me to skip telling her parents?"

"I couldn't believe her mother could be so cold. She told us to our faces that they only had one daughter. And then to find out…"

* * *

><p>Everyone had glassy eyes. The final words of the service were uttered. Finally Scott stepped up. Logan hadn't said a word since Tora died. Cyclops gulped a few times before he began his talk.<p>

"We all trusted Tora. But I don't think she trusted herself. You all saw it in her eyes. That fear that she was dangerous. But we all trusted her with our lives and she never once gave us reason to doubt her. She suffered a lot more than most could and she came out of it with her humanity intact. She was a good hero and X-Man. But she was more than that. She was a good friend. The best. I know a lot of you were here three weeks ago. I don't think any of us expected to be back now, especially not for this. I'm not certain I should be the one to do this…"

Eyes darted to Logan, who was almost being held up by Etana. Everyone knew what had happened in the days since her death. He'd disappeared and been found in a bar, having drunk enough to kill an army in a desperate attempt to become intoxicated. Etana had been able to get him home and when they got to his room, he'd backed away and ended up sleeping outside. Jean had tried to scan him and just found a rolling sea of pain. Scott finished his piece on Tora and everyone dissipated. No one noticed the figure standing far away, watching the proceedings. Her face was covered in a blank metal mask which went with the armour she wore. A face below turned to look at her and the Fallen Angel made a single signal with her hand. 'Go.' The woman nodded then pressed a button on her wrist and faded out of existence.

* * *

><p>Phoenix sighed slightly.<p>

"Etana knew all that time."

"She had her reasons."

"I know that know. But at the time I thought she was a selfish monster for hiding that from us."


	32. No One But You

**Memories**

No One But You

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though. The song doesn't belong to me either.

Logan looked around the room. Her scent was everywhere. On the books, at the seat, on the bed. He stepped over to the desk, where she'd been sitting. A stone-cold mug of coffee was next to a half finished sketch of him. Her scent was strongest there. It looked exactly as she'd left it. He inhaled, catching the scent that was so fresh it was as if she'd just left the room. He couldn't stay here. Scents could linger for weeks and memories for even longer. He closed his eyes as the memories came swirling out of the fog that was his mind. Her laughing. The slight sparkle in her eyes that meant she was going to say something funny. The twitch of the lips that meant she was going to laugh but was trying not to. The fire that sparked up when she was angry. The way the tip of her tongue slid out of her mouth when she was concentrating. The way she unconsciously flicked her fringe out of her eyes in a single impatient movement. Words came next. Joking words, kindly words, words for missions and words spoken in private. Before the memories got too much he moved over to the bed and pressed his face into a pillow. Here her scent was in the nose version of HD. A single, long red hair tickled his nose. His scent was there as well, overlaying hers. And other scents from the night before her death. He ended up pulling away from the bed before he soaked the pillow too much with tears. He rarely cried. Now he seemed unable to stop when he was alone.

He'd avoided their room until today. A year to the day from their first kiss. He had planned to do a disappearing act with her but instead all he could do was come here and commit her scent to memory. He wasn't usually sentimental but it was the way she'd pushed all his advances away that made her all the more unique. Then when she'd finally, wondrously given in and for three short, perfect weeks there had been someone he couldn't hurt, someone who he was able to lose himself in. It hurt to even think her name. She was just that. She. A book was resting on the foot of the bed. She'd been going through photos. He flicked through them, memories sparked. He found the one he was looking for, of her gazing over the mountains with a preoccupied look on her face. He'd got it when she wasn't expecting it. It had been lucky she'd had her scramblers switched off. She'd moaned at him for taking it but he hadn't been able to resist. He then slid the photo out of it's slip and placed it in his pocket. Then he slammed the book shut. He looked round the room one last time, taking in the scratches on the headboard and the few personal possessions. Then he turned and left, locking the door behind him. Maybe, one day, he could go back in there. But not just yet. A quick step made him turn as Etana rounded the corner. Something clicked in Logan's head and the next thing she knew she was being pressed against the wall with claws under her throat.

"Ya knew! Ya knew all this time! Ya coulda stopped it but ya didn't!"

Silver eyes filled with tears as she looked at him.

"I cannot say what I could or could not have done."

Then she launched herself off the wall, powerful wings beating to get her out of the hold and down the corridor. She could have teleported but she had sent a message. 'Don't do that to me. I can beat you easily. I am stronger and older and better at fighting than you.' Logan hadn't expected her to do that or for her to be so strong. He should have known better. Etana had all of Warren's natural strength and had spent centuries honing it until she was stronger than most men. And her wings, despite the slight twist that suggested they were not entirely whole, were still strong enough to launch her into the air without her having to jump. He just didn't expect them to be able to push 300 pounds of adamantium reinforced feral away.

But then Etana was an uncertainty at the best of times. She wasn't an X-Man or anything like that. You could never tell where she was or what she'd been doing. And there had been a rumour that the Punisher was in town when all the heroes knew he was in Columbia dealing with drug cartels. According to Daredevil, the Kingpin had been found in by his lieutenant with knifes pinning him to the bed. And a knife stabbed half an inch away from his heart. He had survived though. Just. Which wasn't the Punisher's usual mode of operations. At the time, Etana was supposedly in Japan but according to Charles, her signature was actually in Hell's Kitchen at the time.

It was like there were two Etanas. One was compassionate and the face they mainly saw. The other was a warrior who wouldn't hesitate to kill if required. It was rarely seen but when it was, there was no doubt she could kill with an ease that even Logan couldn't manage. She'd gone on the Doom mission and Logan had seen her strike a man in half with one of her swords. Then she'd been the one to speak in favour of killing Doom. For a moment, the would-be ruler of the world had seemed afraid. Then it was like Etana had shaken the blood-lust off and gone back to being the usual Shadow. She'd dropped the knife and backed off, shaking her head as if to dispel the other her.

Logan gave up trying to puzzle her out. She was in a completely different mindset to the rest of them. Instead he carried the single box with all the things he needed back to his old room. When he got there, a CD was on the bed with a note from Kitty. _Tora asked me to burn this for her. I thought you might want it._

He knew what it would be. She was always humming it. Always playing it. And he knew that it would just be that one song over and over again. He flipped the CD in his hands for a second before placing it in the player and pressing play. As the first few bars began to play he began to talk to the woman he wished was standing beside him.

"Why? You always used to ask that. Why are we here? Why are we fighting? Why did you kiss me? That was a good day. You'd found your family and I'd found you. And then you played me that song. I can't get the words out of my head now."

_A hand above the water_

_An angel reaching for the sky_

"You always loved this song. Are you up there now? Watching over me? Kurt says you are. I hope for my sake that's true. I need you to be there. Maybe then I'll be able to live with myself. I still think it's my fault. If you'd been less selfless…"

_Is it raining in heaven? _

_Do you want us to cry?_

"You told me not to cry. As you lay there in my arms with your lifeblood dripping away you looked me in the eye and told me not to cry. You loved the rain. I hope it's raining wherever you are. You said you came alive when it rained."

_And everywhere the broken-hearted_

_On every lonely avenue_

"No one wants to talk about it. We're all grieving in our own ways. 'Ro's spending all her spare time in the attic, Kurt's praying, Peter's painting. Scott gazes out of the window. Eloise spends all her time up here talking to me."

_No one could reach them_

_No one but you_

"We didn't realize how much we'd come to rely on you. That smile when we were down. Those ridiculous impressions of Scott when he was bugging us. Listening when we needed to talk. I can't reach out, can't get help. I don't want Chuck in my head."

_One by one_

_Only the Good die young_

_They're only flying too close to the sun_

"Is that why I can't die? You were young. Twenty-one. I was far too old for you. But you shoved that aside. Told me you didn't care. You were good though. The best. You're all dying. The great and the good. I ain't neither. You were both."

_And life goes on -_

_Without you..._

"It's hard. I know you'd been trying to get me off the booze but without you there to tease me into giving it up no one stops me. It drowns the pain. It's difficult to live when you're not there. The number of times I've thought about ending it all."

_Another Tricky Situation_

_I get to drownin' in the Blues_

"We were in a fight last week when 'Ro ordered you to take out an opponent. We were all assuming you'd leap in and beat him up without breaking a sweat. As it was, we only just escaped with our lives. I stayed in the bar till closing time that night."

_And I find myself thinkin'_

_Well - what would you do?_

"You'd hate me for trying to kill the people who shot you. You were always forgiving. You forgave me for not telling you about Weapon X. You forgave your parents for trying to stop our wedding. You'd forgive Magneto if you had the chance."

_Yes! - it was such an operation_

_Forever paying every due_

"You never let a debt stand for long. You were going to leave until you saved Charlie's life and felt that you'd done something to allow you to join. I didn't do that. I just grabbed the chance for independence. You wanted more. You wanted freedom."

_Hell, you made a sensation_

_You found a way through_

"Those files you left me have got the world on tenterhooks. I did as you asked and published them. The lawsuit's expected to last over a year. Longer if you include the appeals process. People are saying you were killed because of those papers."

_One by one_

_Only the Good die young_

_They're only flyin' too close to the sun_

"You were always there for me. Standing quietly in the background, ready to help but also to back off. You were like the sun. The light in the dark hell of my life. Now it's like the light's all gone. And I can't see in the dark anymore."

_We'll remember -_

_Forever..._

"I don't remember the other women. I lost that at Weapon X. But they'll never take you from me. I've told Charles to kill me if I ever forget you. We'll all remember you. Chuck just stares at his chessboard all the time. I think he missed your games."

And now the party must be over

_I guess we'll never understand_

"We'd only just got back from the honeymoon. If I'd known I'd have asked a lot earlier. You were so old-fashioned in your morals. I guess having no real knowledge of basic biology until 'Roro gave you that talk was to blame."

_The sense of your leaving_

_Was in the way it was planned..._

"Did you know when you pushed me out of the way of that dart that it was designed to stop your healing? You must have. You didn't try to take it out. That's what killed you. You knew you wouldn't heal and left it and then it exploded and took you away."

_So we grace another table_

_And raise our glasses one more time_

"We leave your seat empty. None of us want to sit there. We still do that silly old tradition of the toast to friends departed. But this time we cry. None of us are ashamed of it. We cry and cry and the tears don't stop."

_There's a face at the window_

_And I ain't never, never saying goodbye..._

"After the funeral I thought I saw you. The number of times I see a red head pass by and I get a whiff of coffee and mint and I think it's you. But it's never you. I know you told me to live but I can't let you go. I'll never give you up. "

_One by one_

_Only the Good die young_

_They're only flyin' too close to the sun_

"I keep thinking I can hear you coming out of the shower and expect to hear you calling me _Carcajou_. You're the only one you ever called me that. You'd whisper it in my ear when we were alone. Gasped it out when we became one."

_Cryin' for nothing_

"It took you years to learn to cry. It'll take me years to learn to stop."

_Cryin' for no-one_

"You never cried about your past. And neither do I."

No one but you

"Tora, I never cried for anyone but you."

* * *

><p>Phoenix tilted her head back and looked at her companion.<p>

"We knew it was bad. But like that? No."

Her companion just nodded absent-mindedly, fingers tracing the water. Phoenix realized that to talk to her right now would be pointless. She was lost in old and better times.


	33. Dreams of Nightmares

**Memories**

Dreams of Nightmares

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

The court case was all over the news. A gross violation of human rights. Torture and government funding turning a tiny child into a living weapon. Senator Kelly was facing severe punishment. His career was ruined at any rate. Footage was being shown. For many of the X-Men, it was the first true idea of her suffering. The one the press seemed to enjoy showing was of a girl being shocked again and again by an electric collar and crying and being told that she shouldn't cry. It was hard to believe it was Tora but when you looked closer you realized it had to be her. No one else had those golden eyes or streaked hair. Another one showed her sitting still as dogs mauled her. It was cut halfway through for some reason. The one that had been shown once showed her with her claws under a man's throat then backing off, offering him her hand. That was Tora through and through. They did show a few of her darker moments to gain extra pity. Her running her claws across her arms. Howling like an animal in the darkness. One had shown her raising her claws to her throat for a second then dropping them. Another showed her being beaten and just looking at her oppressers with no feeling whatsoever in her eyes.

Ororo turned off the TV in disgust. It was hard enough for most people but when it was your best friend who had been killed two weeks ago, it was agony. The sight of empty eyes staring at her tormentors was enough to scare most people senseless. She looked over at the others. Scott and Jean were looking disgusted, Kurt was murmuring under his breath, Piotr was sitting deathly still. Rogue was shuddering in the corner and Hank, Bobby and Warren were deathly pale. Logan was looking into the distance with dead eyes. Ice-blue eyes that had not one spark of fire and steel so often there. Etana was leaning on the wall, her face blank. She had taken to disappearing for most of the time and Storm guessed it was just loyalty to Logan that kept her there. She had been close to Tora. Storm had heard her crying in the night. You wouldn't normally be able to hear that but Storm had been wind-riding past her open window. And seen Etana drive a sword into a dummy and scream. Which meant she was hiding behind her silver eyes that were unreadable. Kurt's yellowish-gold eyes were always open to see humour, sadness or friendship but Etana's eyes rarely showed emotion. It was a part of her, the quiet indifference that suggested that she couldn't care about the normal people whose lives were so short. Logan, whose life-span was longer than a normal person, Tora, who should have had a extended life, Fury, who had some sort of potion to keep him alive and Cap, who was about 90 were the few people she seemed to see as equals. Everyone else lived in a flash compared to her. Even the people she seemed close to were much younger than her. But according to Charles, Etana had once been more open with her friendships. And she'd watched her friends die. So it was hard to blame her for being distant. And Tora had said something about Etana thinking she was going to die soon.

The TV was turned back on in time to see Jennifer Walters trying to get Senator Kelly to appear in court. Something about hiding behind his position in government to pursue his feud with mutants. They seemed to have stopped showing the video clips. Tired, upset and fed up of strangers picking her best friend's life apart, Storm got up to go to bed. She heard Logan follow shortly after and definitely heard him stop outside the room he had shared. Then he walked the short distance to his old room and Storm knew he'd soon start the nightmares again. Only this time she could understand the words he screamed. Before they had been pleading or begging for release or else screaming names of women. 'Silver-Fox, Itsu, Mariko.' Now one name was all that was screamed. Over and over again as her death replayed in his dreams. Jean had tried to access his mind and she'd collapsed. Apparently he'd forced her out again. Storm sighed. She was going to wind-ride again tonight, just so she didn't have to hear the screams. Logan wouldn't let anyone near his mind to try and sort out his agony.

* * *

><p>Phoenix didn't even bother to look at her companion as the waters swirled again. She was surly, disagreeable and hurting badly. It was funny that the one thing the healer of the universe couldn't heal was herself. She had definitely taken the whole 'end of the universe' thing pretty badly. Worse than she let on at any rate. But if it was that bad, why hadn't she fought harder?<p>

* * *

><p><em>He turned in the forest clearing and she was there. Golden eyes full of love and reddish-orange hair catching in the wind. Logan held her close, kissed her and couldn't believe that she was back. But Jean had returned, so why not Tora as well? For a few minutes he thought everything was perfect. Then she started crying.<em>

"_Why couldn't you save me?"_

_He looked at her in horror as a faceless figure stepped up behind her and raised a knife. Strong hands held him back as Tora was stabbed once and melted away before him. The arms let him go and he turned to see Etana._

"_The time-stream must be kept on course."_

_Then Etana faded into a dragon who roared and lunged at him, tearing away, breaking through adamantium and holding his heart aloft triumphantly._

"_Mine!"_

Logan woke, covered in sweat. He reached out, hoping that she'd be there. Nothing. She was dead and lying cold in the grounds of the mansion. If she had been there, her arms would have been around him. She had always used him as some sort of teddy bear. He stuffed his face into the pillow in a vain hope no one would hear the crying. He couldn't stop. He'd even taken to using the shampoo that she had. This death was affecting him worst than most. He wasn't certain what it was. Maybe it was the faint hope that she would be able to survive everything the world threw at her. And it wasn't how he thought she would die. He had thought deep down they'd go out together, fighting against Magneto or some other megalomaniac. Not having her die in his arms from a sniper that he wasn't able to track. He'd tried and failed. Whoever it was had rigged a bottle of ethanol to drop after they left. The harsh scent had caused him to gag and he couldn't find the scent of the sniper.

His fingers caught on the chain around his neck where the soul band hung. He'd known because of it. Felt the tiny buzzing that meant she was there fade away. It had become a part of him, that little tugging sensation that told him where she was. Hank had checked them and they appeared to be some sort of DNA sensitive tech that had him all excited. Apparently it was far beyond even Richards' newest innovations. Tora had quietly pointed out it was a gift. Maybe Etana would agree to have them dissected, until then they were remaining with them. Hank had tried to date them but the machine had exploded. He had said that would only happen if the rings were older than the universe. Tora had snorted and then said they'd ask Etana later. Everyone had forgotten in the aftermath of her death.

He couldn't sleep so he got dressed, preparing for a nighttime walk to the grave to talk to her. He couldn't go in daylight. Everyone else would be there. Night was a time to be alone with her. He was about to open the door when he heard soft steps walk past his door. Etana. What was she doing up at this time? He decided to follow her. He still didn't fully trust her. Especially not since the funeral. He opened the door silently and watched her walk on by. She was wearing a long coat that hid her wings and tail and a hood covered her inhuman silver hair and dark face. He could smell the old leather and guessed that Etana had that coat made sometime in the 1800s. The care she must have put in to stop it from wearing suggested it was a favourite. He followed her silently and carefully as she left the mansion grounds and walked through Westchester. Finally she came to a warehouse which she entered through the front door. Logan followed and found it was almost entirely empty. He hid in the shadows, knowing Etana wouldn't be looking there. She seemed focused on a spot in the centre of the huge room.

"My Lady."

A soft, musical voice that sounded vaguely familiar echoed around the room.

"Dispense with the My Lady nonsense Etana."

A wave of water swirled and a figure cloaked in what looked like ice that flowed and swung like cloth appeared.

"Would Master suffice?"

"If you feel that is appropriate, then yes. But do not call my human Master before I become this. Which you will miss. I am sorry Etana. I wish there was another way."

Etana nodded slightly.

"I understand. But with your power. Can I have one gift?"

"You may have more than one, as you know."

"The other me's. The other realities. Do I ever gain peace?"

He sensed a smile.

"Yes. In some, you do not die and he still loves you. In others, he survives the fighting and comes back for you like he promised. In all those worlds, you live happily and finally age."

He saw the slight change in stance that meant she was pleased. He wondered who this 'he' was. It must have been someone special to make Etana speak so softly.

"You still love him?"

"More than I thought possible. He tried to kiss me again when we last alone together. I was rather hurtful. But I don't want him hurt. I have less than a year."

The cloaked figure nodded. Logan couldn't get a scent to pin down. She…it was definitely she… smelt of the sea and rivers and rain. But not of life. It was like it was a façade, a fake. It smelt a bit like the Phoenix Force. The fire that wasn't fire. The life that wasn't life. Etana had bowed her head as an arm reached out and brushed her forehead. Then a flash of silver and a mark burned on the air above her forehead. A dragon, roaring to the sky. Wings outstretched. Serpentine body twisting. Then it faded, plunging them into darkness. Etana looked back up.

"Thank you."

"The time of rebirth nears. When Hunter comes, you must sponsor her entry to the X-Men."

"I understand."

"She knows you know. She saw you at the funeral."

"I needed her to know she wasn't alone."

"It is appreciated. And keep an eye on Logan for me. I don't want him dying in the six months before he gets a reason to live again."

"I thought he didn't die for centuries."

"There is always a slight chance for change. I'd rather it didn't happen. I'm behind schedule as it is."

"Agreed."

"You better go. A certain man is determined to get your feelings out in the open."

"He knows why I don't let him see how I feel about him."

"He can see how you feel. He wants you to act on them."

"Not going to happen. I won't hurt him more than I already have."

"Maybe you are hurting him by refusing to love him."

Etana slumped slightly.

"I try to refuse, try to tell myself I'm not in love. It hurts so much. But I…"

She didn't seem able to finish.

"I'll go. Discus-Boy will want to talk."

"Give him my regards. On second thought, don't. I'm supposed to be dead. He won't take it well."

"Supposed to be dead now or **now**?"

"Well both actually. You know about now for you. For me, I committed suicide. Again. Things got a little out of control."

"As they always do."

"Goodbye Etana."

"Goodbye Master."

Etana teleported away. Then the figure turned towards Logan.

"I know you are there."

He didn't see a reason to hide anymore. This being wasn't human, he wasn't going to hurt it. He leapt, claws out and tugged at the ice hood that fell away. Revealing a familiar face composed of water. He staggered backwards as the Tora that shimmered in the half-light looked at him. He could see ripples in the water, had felt his claws go right through her head. A drip pooled from the icy eye and somehow slid over the rest of the water like it was solid.

"Sorry. So sorry…"

Then the face dissolved as it changed to become a dragon.

"I take a form that means much to me. Tora is precious."

"Was precious you mean!"

All consuming rage enveloped him. How dare this thing take her face? How dare it look him in the eye and say empty words? This mockery of life hide behind those scars and asymmetrical face that he loved. He slammed his fist into the water and the thing shattered, droplets of water falling to the floor. He heard another whispered 'Sorry' before there was only the sound of him panting and the warehouse creaking. He left, determined to confront Etana in the morning about this. And about this 'Discus-Boy' she seemed fond of. He wanted to know who was good enough to make a 3000-year-old celibate act like a nervous teenager. But first he was going back to the grave. He had a lot to tell Tora.

* * *

><p>Jean glowered at her companion.<p>

"That isn't a part of this time-stream."

"Everything is about her and her time-stream. She is the link. The thread that ties the rest together."


	34. Conversations with the Dead

**Memories**

Conversations with the Dead

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

His fingers dug into the earth and then he reached out and touched the catnip planted next to the gravestone. He had a feeling Kurt had done that. Tora would have thought that was funny. He knew 'Ro was responsible for the different types mint surrounding the grave. But the catnip was pure Kurt. He liked the gesture. He didn't have cut flowers. She hated those. A family friend had brought them in France and she'd got riled up about it. So instead, people had planted flowers over the grave. Etana had brought some exotic plant that came from one obscure valley in an obscure country and it had taken root and started to spread. 'Ro had taken most of them to cultivate. But the grave was a mass of teeming flowers. Foxglove, hollyhock, lavender, heather. Wild flowers mainly. Beast had told him about the nitrogen in her body being used by the plants. It seemed oddly fitting that this sea of colour was a part of her. He reached out again and dug his fingers into the earth.

"I want you back. Even if you were ignoring me again, I want you back. I just want to see you again. Not some impostor. The real you with your eyes and smile and scars. To hear your voice and see you standing up for the kids on the street, or the woman in the bar. I want you standing beside me, with that warning hand on my arm. I want the you that planned the Bastille fireworks for Eloise. I'd do anything to have you back."

A low cough made him turn round. Kurt was standing there looking worried.

"You better see this."

His tone made it obvious this was important. Logan followed him after a whispered goodbye. It stood to reason everyone knew about his nighttime prowls. He lived with two of the world's best telepaths. They could sense the pain rolling off him all the time. And a couple of times he'd sensed Jean standing behind him, watching as he knelt beside the simple grey marble stone. He let her stay and let her hear him telling Tora about what had happened. He stepped into the mansion hall and saw the others looking worried.

"What?"

"They were searching for ex-guards. Three were reported dead. Within eight hours of each other. Stabbed. Exactly the same way. And DNA evidence points to it being Tora who did it. It was the night before…you know…she died. Her healing halters were diagnosed as poison by the coroner."

Logan couldn't believe what he was hearing. Tora, a murderer? No. He couldn't, wouldn't believe it. And anyway, it was impossible for her to have been away that night. He somehow remembered every second of it. She'd been with the others until ten, first playing chess with Charles, then joining him, Cap and Remy for the poker which she had won. Again. Then she'd gone upstairs and he'd followed five minutes later, to join her in the shower. She couldn't have left at all in the night. Etana and Storm both wandered a lot in the night and both would have heard Tora moving. Or not… She was light on her feet and could easily jump out of a window if required. But he had woken up a few times and she'd been curled up next to him. It was impossible for her to have killed them. And she wouldn't have been so stupid as to use her own claws to kill someone. No, she'd have used a knife or a bullet if she thought there was the slightest chance of being caught. But he knew if she had to, she'd use her own claws. It gave them a chance to fight her off, a chance to escape. Not a big chance, but a chance none the less. Why was he thinking like this? Tora would never kill anyone. **Ever**. And even thinking that she would, that was the worst thing he could do. Etana tilted her head back.

"She's not guilty."

No one doubted the statement. Etana had been right about things before. She's even been able to predict exactly what Sue Richards would be wearing on the day of the wedding. Down to the shoes. Which was impressive seeing as she had changed her mind eighteen times beforehand. And she'd sent a letter of consolation that had been posted three days before Tora's death. She kept saying she wasn't a precog but she definitely had prior warning to important events. And not so important events, like Jubilee roller-skating down the stairs and ending up being held up by Eloise, who now seemed to be gaining telekinetic powers. At any rate, Etana had been there with a camera, to get the look on Jubes' face. At least they'd had **something **to smile about just now. Smiles were hard to come by. Eloise was simply going through the motions, not really bothering with her powers and relying on her shields to keep the pain out. Jean, Rogue and Ororo were spending a lot of time sitting in the attic together, often taking up three coffees and an herbal tea, just for 'old times sake'. Everyone knew they used to talk together up there. About what, no one really knew. 'Just stuff' was all the three would answer. Kitty seemed to miss having someone to talk computers with and everyone knew Hank had been crying in the library over the books she had made a note in 'Give to Hank in case of death'. No one mentioned the deep-set pain in their hearts. Could a year and a half really be long enough for someone to become the glue which held the X-Men together? Yes. That quiet voice of reason, that ear that listened. She was important to them. Had been important to them. It was so hard to think of her in the past tense. There was something –present about her. The image of her in the group photo, which had seemed to be hiding, now seemed the most prominent figure there. Standing behind the Professor, a slight smile on her face. Hand linked with Logan's, head tilted slightly to one side. Taken two weeks before the wedding. She couldn't be dead, not Tora, not the consummate survivor. People kept asking what she thought of things, or what she was going to do. Then an awkward silence when they realized no one would ever answer.

Far away, a woman completely covered in plain armour rose from her crossed-legged position on the mat to walk over to the window. The carved eyes, the only things that suggested there was a human inside, glowed softly with a faint green light. Inside the helmet, data readouts flickered. Even Iron Man's most advanced armour wasn't up to this level of tech. However, it couldn't fly and it didn't have repulsor cannons. But it gave her all round protection and a level of anonymity unheard of before. And inside her adamantium shell, the woman shuddered. She had a mission to complete. Then she could live again.

* * *

><p>"Can we skip ahead to September? When Luke came?"<p>

"Of course."

The waters swirled once more.


	35. The Hunter and The Hunted

**Memories**

The Hunter and The Hunted

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Luke looked around the place nervously. Ever since he'd sent his teacher into a series of haunting illusions that had driven her mad, he'd been terrified he'd be caught out as a mutant. And he had been. But by the X-Men. Two of whom had been in a team with Captain Britain. But news didn't filter across the pond much about the X-Men. So he was intrigued by the woman in the photo. She never appeared in solo photos, only groups. She was a redhead, with a black streak in her hair and warm golden eyes. She seemed to like hiding in the photos, so all he saw of her would be a flash of hair or an arm. The only one where she was on show was the group photo, where she was standing behind the Professor. Eloise had just looked sad when he'd asked about her. So when he found the locked room, he was intrigued. Using the skills Remy had taught him, he'd picked the lock. And was now in the bedroom of an obvious couple. A proper king-sized double, not the queens from the other rooms. Books lining one wall, a small collection of katanas and Japanese art the other. A desk with an empty mug that had a cartoon cat painted on it. Two influences were there. He walked over to the desk and saw the half-finished drawing. Wolverine, a look of kindness on his face Luke had never seen before. Someone obviously came here often and dusted. A downy black feather told him who. Etana had been the only one who hadn't avoided his questions. She'd just answered that the woman had been a friend. He examined every part of the room, reading the titles on the books, looking in the bathroom and finally spotted the photo album. Hidden under the pillow. He pulled it out and opened it. The woman, head tilted to one side, pensive. It continued with photos of all the X-Men. Then the woman he was interested in suddenly gained scars on her face. She looked happier though. And then there was a photo of what he knew was last Christmas as each had been dated in a flowing hand. Her and Wolverine kissing under mistletoe. Then it became obvious they were a couple. Finally he stopped. A wedding, dated May. Wolverine and the Woman. Then Japan when it was only the two had been there. The book had a gap for one photo dated May and with the note 'Wish Logan had told me he was talking this' then the flowing hand had stopped and the rest had been finished in a spiky, almost illegible hand. Tears had stained a few photos, mainly ones that had Logan and her together. A quiet cough made him turn. Etana was standing in the door, feathery eyebrows raised slightly.

"This room was locked. Now the door is open. I need to have a word with Remy. Anyway, there are better ways of opening locked doors. I'll show you how to open a door with a needle."

"A needle?"

"Very tricky thing to do, but a lot less incriminating than a lockpick."

"Who is this woman? Why isn't she here? I didn't know Logan was married."

Etana's eyes registered a slight sadness.

"Not anymore."

"What? Did she leave him or something? Cos I can understand if she did, he's obnoxious."

She tilted her head in a bird-like movement.

"She left us all. To cry and to wish she would return."

Luke was confused. But Etana always talked like that, in riddles and half-riddles.

"Where is she?"

"I will take you to her."

She offered him her hand and Luke got the crushing feeling that came with being teleported. When the light reappeared, he wasn't in a house. Instead he was in the woods.

"What?"

Then he saw the stone and the words carved on it.

_Tora Logan_

_December 1984-10__th__ June 2006_

_Hero, Friend, Lover_

_Never to be Forgotten_

Luke gulped. Suddenly he became aware that under him, a woman lay dead. A woman who had hopes and dreams, a mutant like him. His hand slid to the tiny book tucked into his jumper. A notebook. He'd snatched it from the desk. He wanted to read the words this woman had traced onto the paper with a living hand. Etana saw the look on his face.

"That is why we are sad and why Logan acts like that. We mourn for her that has left us, never to return again. For those that cross the darkling stream, may not return, unless you're a superhero or villain and have severe problems with friends."

He glanced at her slightly worried look. She pointed.

"House is that way. Would quite like to have a little chat later."

And she disappeared, just like she always did. Luke pulled out the small book and sat down with his back to the gravestone. He opened it and found the flowing handwriting.

_My Dreams_

_One day, I'd like to stop being a hero. I want to live a normal life, be normal._

_I want to have the horrors that haunt me erased._

_I want to find a way of making up with my family._

_I want to learn how to sing._

_I want to get a job._

_I want to be able to walk down a street without pitying looks._

_I want freedom to be myself._

_I want there to be the slightest chance this will happen._

Luke turned the page. The next sheet made him feel terrible.

_Reasons I love Logan_

_He listens._

_He loves me._

_He understands._

_He's like me._

_I see the man beneath._

_He's Logan._

Turned the page again, trying not to cry.

_Things I Love_

_Logan_

_Coffee_

_Mint_

_Etana being Etana_

_Being an X-Man_

_Queen_

_Mornings_

_Stuff I would write down but there are kids in the house_

_Things I Hate_

_Shopping with Jubilee._

_Shopping for clothes._

_Sabretooth._

_Bigotry._

_Weapon X_

_Being forced to be something I'm not_

_People talking about films when they know I can't understand_

_Villains attacking between 8:3o and 9pm on a Saturday_

_Myself_

Luke couldn't help himself. He started crying. Tears smudged the ink of the last word.

* * *

><p>Phoenix looked at the other woman.<p>

"Myself?"

"What had been done to her."

"Okay…"

* * *

><p>The battle was ferocious. But they lost. Each X-Man had a knife under their throat. An emotionless artificial voice rang out.<p>

"Drop the knives. I will take them to the holding cells."

They turned and saw a woman encased in metal, with a blank full-head mask that had dull green glowing eyes. The leader of those they were fighting snorted.

"You! Ya may be second in command Hunter, but ya ain't orderin' me about no more."

"Please refrain from speaking, you lower the average IQ of the entire human race."

"Ya $£%*& £*%$."

"And may I remind you, I am senior in this operation. You follow my orders or you answer to Strucker."

"I ain't afraid of no mutie £%$."

"I did warn you."

And the woman moved so fast they almost didn't see her and the man fell with a knife in his chest.

"I avoided wounding you fatally. Next time, you won't be so lucky. Listen all you. You are wondering, if we all leap on her, will we beat her? Well the answer is no. But feel free to have a shot."

The men all shifted. They obviously feared this woman. She turned to the X-Men.

"HYDRA will accommodate you until the trial by combat."

Wolverine obviously didn't think much of that. Twisting free he leapt, claws outstretched, only to find them stopped.

"Adamantium armour."

The woman was twisting his arm with relative easy.

"You see, I know the properties of adamantium. I may not be able to break your arm but I can dislocate it. Like so."

She twisted and Logan screamed.

"Stop whining. Look, I've put it back in place for you."

She dropped him and he almost collapsed, managing to pull himself back up at the last minute.

"Follow."

The guards led them to a cell. The woman who seemed to be called Hunter stood aside.

"Enter."

"Can you speak in anything **more** than single words?"

"Yes I can Miss Shadowcat."

She turned and Wolverine, in usual fiery impulse, attacked. A knife swung round and his costume was torn. A single photo fluttered to the floor. Hunter picked it up, looked at it then her head snapped up to look at Logan.

"Take him to the interrogation rooms. I want to speak to him. All video evidence must be destroyed."

The guards nodded nervously. Wolverine was soon hustled into a room which seemed oddly empty of machines of horrendous torture. Hunter turned to look at him. Then pushed the photo of Tora in Japan over towards him.

"What is your relation with this woman?"

Logan looked at the expressionless mask in astonishment. That wasn't what he was expecting. He didn't see anything wrong with answering.

"My wife. Why, got a problem with that?"

The glowing green eyes dropped.

"No. I want to ask. Did she find her family? How did she escape? Is she…is she happy?"

OK, that was weird.

"Why do you want to know?"

The voice gained a little emotion. Not much, but enough to show how the person inside the armour was feeling.

"Because that woman, Xii, was my best and only friend for most of my childhood. She sacrificed her freedom to give me hope."

Logan couldn't quite get his head around this. The woman answered his unasked question.

"My name is Eva De Souza and Xii was my companion at the facility we were held at."

"What…?"

"I was Project: Eden, a spin-off of Weapon Plus. I was never the star but Xii looked out for me and kept me safe. She was always better than I was. And when we escaped, she ordered me on while she remained behind. She hurt herself and couldn't keep ahead of the dogs."

Logan remembered the slight change in width around one ankle, a bone reset before adamantium was implanted. Hunter was staring at him with a look Iron Man would have coveted.

"Where is she? Xii would never consent to remain away from a battle."

The question hurt Logan more than he was prepared to admit. He mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that?"

"DEAD! She's dead and I wish I was too! She was **everything**! She was everything."

He wasn't expecting what happened next. The woman screamed, a scream of loss and pain. Then she fell to her knees and he heard the muttering.

"No…can't be…needed to thank…you always survive…please no…you saved me…always…there…Xii…can't be…no…"

He watched as she suddenly stood up and looked at him.

"The trial will be in three days. I will not be there. I have a meeting with a rather angry person. Private business. If you survive, you will spend the rest of your life in a comfortable cell. No evil tests run on you or anything. I will have food sent to you later. And Wolverine…I'm so, so sorry."

Then the HYDRA goons entered and dragged him back, leaving the woman encased in metal to cry quietly in the empty room. But the tears were trapped inside the armour she was forced to wear. No escape. Except one.

* * *

><p>The image stilled on the blank mask. No emotion. A robot that happened to have swallowed a human. A human hiding. A dagger in the dark.<p>

* * *

><p>When the sandwiches were pushed through the door, no one knew why Hank burst into tears over his Twinkie sandwich. Jean scanned him and found memories of Tora bringing down an identical sandwich when he was running some tests to make sure she'd healed fully after Doom removed most of her intestinal tract. This lead to some gentle teasing about the unhealthiness of sugary treats in what was supposed to be a meal. Eventually Beast managed to get down to snuffles and Logan was able to tell them what he'd discovered. But the last comment had a line wandering around his head. 'A meeting with a rather angry person'? That was code. An angry person? Furious? Fury? Was she working for Fury? OK, he could almost believe Fury would be able to get a twenty-something woman into a position of power in SHIELD's worst enemy. And she had mentioned Strucker. Was that just a threat, or did she personally know him? If she did, was Nick planning a hit on the main HYDRA leader? And Tora? She was still there. How was it the person who saved their lives also knew Tora well? It was like she had managed to get Hunter –Eva –into HYDRA just in time to save them. Not that Logan believed in guardian angels. Anyway, if he did, then Etana had him covered. But Tora seemed to be still there, finding a way to keep him safe. From the note he found on the healing halter 'Don't you <span>DARE<span> use this on yourself!' to the scribbled message on the back of the unfinished sketch saying that she loved him. Somehow he thought she guessed something was going to happen to her. He was still thinking about Christmas when a wall slid away. The X-Men just looked at each other. Trap or a viable option? Piotr stepped out and picked up a sheet of paper.

_Third left, second right, right, left, eighth left and you're out._

_This is for Xii._

_Tell Fury to keep an eye on HELMET._

Ok, that classed as very weird, even for the X-Men. Meeting a deceased teammate's childhood friend who she had never mentioned, who was working either for the most evil man on the planet or for Nick Fury and trying to bring the aforementioned most evil man on the planet down, who rescued them from insane HYDRA grunts, locked them up and then showed them a secret passage out. That was stretching the belief brain cells a little too far. Aliens? Easy, dealt with them every other day. Mutant Terrorists? Come on, little more credit **please**. Ex-members' childhood companions? HELP!

They followed the instructions and were soon blinking in the sunlight before heading off to where they had landed the Blackbird.

And inside the HYDRA base, Hunter stood impassive as her fellow second in command prepared to tell tales to Strucker. She didn't really get on with him. If she worked in a **normal **post, she would have reported him for sexual harassment. As it was, she didn't trust Strucker alone with her. He was looking at her in the usual lewd way.

"I might not tell him the X-Men escaped on your watch. If I get to see under that armour of yours."

"I'd rather face Strucker."

He rammed his face up close to her mask.

"One day I'm going to see you. All of you. Whether you want me to or not. Then you'll suffer."

She struggled to stop herself deploying the knives in her arms and beheading him. He was irritating beyond belief. She would enjoy visiting him in prison. And removing her helmet so he could realise how close he had been to a horrendous death.

* * *

><p>Phoenix grinned.<p>

"When I met her, I assumed Tora's shields must be implanted. Exactly the same. And the adamantium blocked the scent."

Her companion smiled back slightly.

"Christmas Eve?"

"If you please."


	36. Masks

**Memories**

Masks

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Christmas seemed empty this year. Etana was upstairs with Kitty putting the finishing touches on their Hanukkah celebrations. Rogue was locked in her room doing who knew what, although it sounded like she was having a party with Carol Danvers. Remy was charging things and flicking them out of the window in an effort to stave off boredom. Hank was locked in the lab trying to find out about the new mutant virus. Jubilee was wondering why she had even bothered to come back. Gen X would be having better Christmas celebrations right now. Piotr had gone back home to be with his family and try and explain **why **Illyana was now thirteen. Storm was communing with her plants. Bobby was icing up the engines of every vehicle he could reach. Eloise was with her parents and Logan was down at the grave with two-dozen cans of beer and a plan to stay out all night.

So when the Professor sent out an emergency intruder warning, they came running. To find Hunter standing in the study, having got in without setting off a single alarm. She stood silent, waiting for them to attack her. Etana stopped them.

"In case you don't remember, Hunter got you out of the HYDRA cell."

"Yeah. After locking us there in the first place."

Hunter tilted her head back.

"I was forced to work undercover at HYDRA. I assume you know about the digital chips in our brains. Well I was told that unless I agreed to work for them, unless I faked my own death, I would suffer a stroke and my entire family would be destroyed. We both had…you know Fury's LMDs? Well, in the attempt to create our clones, they made brain-dead copies of us we could control remotely. They were designed to change as we did. If we got a scar, they'd get a scar. If we broke a bone, they'd break a bone. It was in case we needed to fake our deaths on a mission. I was forced to take over No. 3 and be shot in front of those I cared for. I woke up and I'm stuck in this armour. Entirely wired in. IV's for nutrients. I've not looked through my real eyes for six months."

The time she had been like that sunk in. Was that why Tora died? Did she refuse to work for these mysterious enemies of HYDRA? Or what if she had and was just now trying desperately to get home?

Hunter bowed her head.

"I came not to fight but to beg. Turn these things off. Stop them from ruining my life."

And she removed a slender silver control panel.

"If you can turn off the control chips, I can be free. If I try to open it then ZAP!"

Hank grabbed the box and started looking it over.

"I think Stark would be better for this."

Kitty snatched it off him.

"I can work computers you know Hank. And Etana's really good as well."

Everyone stared.

"What can I say? I like being up-to-date on technology. Who do you think flew Franklin's kite? It sure as anything wasn't him. And who do you think persuaded Logie Baird that his radio-with-pictures was really a brilliant idea?"

She sighed.

"Hand it over. I happen to be **good** with mind-control. Just don't ask me about SHIELD teleporters. I **knew **it was a bad idea at the start."

She started carefully prying the box open. She opened one of the many pouches on her toolbelt, some of which contained explosives, and slid on some glasses. She started gently probing through the wires, fingers moving swiftly. It was odd. No one had assumed she could be any good at electronics. Now it seemed stupid. She'd have learnt to fight earlier in her life. Then learnt languages. And now she was on electronics and appeared pretty good at it.

"Kitty, have you **seen **this thing. We'll have to send it to Richards later."

Kitty leant over and sighed.

"You are hopeless. You must be the oldest person to get the Internet."

They saw the slightly smug look on her face.

"It's not too hard. It's just like a psi-link."

Then there was a shower of sparks and the silver box dropped. There was the smell of singed fur and Etana grinned.

"Finished. The control chips are disabled. I've not turned off the other ones. I assume you want to keep them."

Hunter nodded.

"Thank goodness. They implanted the story I had to tell. Every time I tried to tell you, the other story came out."

Everyone glanced at one another. Hunter somehow managed to seen nervous.

"I fully understand if you want to thump me. Actually I'll probably feel better. Er…"

Now mouths were open and Etana had a slight smile.

"You should get it out before you freak out and run away."

Hunter nodded then she brought her had up to a small series of buttons on her shoulder. She pressed one and the helmet folded up, clicking into place on the back of her neck, revealing red and black hair, golden eyes and four parallel scars on the right side of her face. She was biting her lip in the way that meant she was very, **very **nervous.

"Happy Christmas everyone…?"

* * *

><p>Phoenix was laughing and crying at the same time.<p>

"The look on Logan's face… Priceless."

Her companion wasn't smiling.

"Didn't you feel the fear just now? She was terrified she'd be rejected. Scared you would push her away."

Phoenix stopped laughing.

"I can't believe she would even **contemplate **that."

Her friend didn't answer.

* * *

><p>Logan snarled at her.<p>

"I can't believe you didn't **tell** me!"

She wasn't speaking, her head hanging low.

"Tora, look at me!"

She looked up with sadness in her eyes.

"I couldn't. I tried. Every time I tried, the words came out wrong. Logan, they controlled what I said. What I did. What I thought. It was only the hope of getting back here, back to you, that kept me going."

She meant it. The sincerity in her eyes was obvious. He could see her trying not to cry.

"I understand if everything's changed since June. If you just want me to go. We can pretend I'm still dead. No one will ever know."

His heart stopped. Did she, could she mean that?

"No…"

He saw her look at him, eyes softening.

"You want me to stay?"

Then he wrapped his arms around her.

"I need you to stay."

She relaxed in his embrace, allowing the tension to drain out of her.

"I need you as well."

And he kissed her gently, allowing all the pain and loss of the last six months to drain out of him.

The others were sitting downstairs yelling at Etana. She was talking it rather well, just absorbing their insults. A smash upstairs stopped the ranting.

"Was it safe to leave her with Logan?"

"Don't worry Scott. I'd be more afraid with what she'll do to him. And I wouldn't go up. They aren't likely to forgive you."

This comment made everyone remember they were mad at Etana and they were supposed to be yelling at her. She remained stoically listening to their rants until half eight then check her watch.

"Sorry, I have to go out. I have a sort-of date. He wants it to be a date, I tell him it isn't."

Then she teleported, leaving them with no one to yell at so they returned to being happy. Piotr and Eloise had been contacted and from the cheer from them both, were desperate to get back and see Tora. Luke was now trying to find out exactly **who** Tora was and how on earth he was going to put her notebook back in her room. Remy was gabbling over the Vincent Rapide outside the house, that had parked up and was just being **left** there. Which was practically an invitation to have it stolen. Especially when it was a '49 Series C. Apparently they were discontinued because they were **too **good and therefore expensive. Storm shut him up and slowly the Christmas spirit started to seep in. So no one had the heart to yell at Etana when she returned at ten, humming 'Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree" and with a wide smile on her face. She grinned at Remy.

"I know you're planning to steal Tora's bike. She will probably never forgive you."

"Da bike is Tora's!"

"You think she'd have anything other than a classic? Especially when I told her to pick whichever she wanted from the garage in June."

"So…"

"When a classic motorcycle disappears from a garage to which only I and one other person –who is supposed to be dead- have the access code to, then yes, I assume it was the other person. Unless you have permission to enter, you will regret it. And Remy, don't try it. You'll be in hospital for weeks. I happen to **like **my bikes. I defend them with all my considerable talent."

"Remy thought you couldn't drive."

"The only motorised vehicle I can drive is a motorbike. Cap taught me in the forties."

"So Etana, who were you meeting."

Her black fur took on a tinge of red.

"Doesn't matter. I'm going to bed."

She marched off before anyone could quiz her further, which usually meant she was hiding something. They heard her footsteps stop, a door opening then closing and a mental picture relayed by Jean showing Logan and Tora snuggled together in the dark, both sleeping soundly.

"Thank the Goddess. Can you imagine how that could have gone?"

* * *

><p>Phoenix started snuffling.<p>

"Please don't cry Jean. I haven't got any tissues."

"Can we move on before I start bawling?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Now I'm going to make an offer. If you have questions, ask them and I will answer them **if and only if** they won't ruin a surprise later in the story._


	37. How and Why

**Memories**

How and Why

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

They were still getting over the whole dinner and arguing over what to watch that night when the wall had come crashing in. There had been the moan that Christmas was supposed to be peaceful when Magneto had burst in and Logan had charged him, only to end up buried in the wall. The X-Men had done their best but they were relieved when Etana burst in, wearing red armour that included spikes on her wings. And she'd faltered and dropped her sword. Magneto had turned towards her, did a double-take and then pulled her towards him before flying of, with Etana in a state of shock floating behind him, wings flapping helplessly and obviously too stunned to teleport. Then Magneto had disappeared somehow and the X-Men were left with trying to work out to rescue her. Remy was all in favour of letting her rescue herself, Scott was trying to make himself heard over the racket and Logan was making muffled noises from the wall. Tora cut him out and then spent a few minutes trying to get the plaster out of his mouth. Then they went to get the tracker from Etana's room and work out where she was. Thankfully she was nearby and it didn't take long to get into costume and charge after her. When they broke into one of Magneto's many houses (how exactly did he pay for them?) they heard the words being yelled.

"Fight me! Lash out! Do it Shadow! You've broken me before, so why not now?"

Then, so quietly they almost couldn't hear it, they heard Etana speak.

"I could never raise a hand to you."

"So you abandon me! Is that all you do? Make people think you care, then leave them in a worse scenario than you found them?"

"I thought you were dead! I cried for you."

"Really? Then why didn't you try and find me?"

"The house fell in! How was I supposed to know you survived? Not to mention it was on fire. And did I mention it falling in on you!"

The X-Men crept round the corner to see Magneto towering over Etana, who appeared to have collapsed. Then they saw the tears and pain on her face. She was looking Magneto in the eyes.

"Kill me then. Show I was wrong about you. Kill me and prove you are all I tried to teach you not to be."

A piece of metal was ripped from the ceiling and hovered above her chest. The armour was pulled off and they saw her eyes half-close.

"Do it."

And the makeshift blade wobbled then fell. Missing her chest entirely. Shadow opened her eyes and almost nodded. Scott was now panicking.

"Attack."

Optic-beams, a lightning bolt, a ball of ice, fireworks and a thrown Logan all made contact. In the confusion that followed, Etana was screaming "NO!" and Magneto was forced to flee.

* * *

><p>Phoenix sighed.<p>

"One day I'm going to find out about those two. He would try to kill her and she would try not to kill him."

"I'm not going into an in-depth study of Etana Jean. Later, maybe."

* * *

><p>"I am not going into my relationship with Magneto. We knew each other years ago. A minor incident meant we lost touch. That's all you need to know."<p>

Her shields were up, an adamantium wall around her thoughts. They were obviously not going to get any more out of her tonight. In fact, they knew she'd gone to her flat in Manhattan, probably to escape from them. Things weren't made any easier by Cap ringing and Tora obliviously answering the phone, which resulted in the entire Avengers roster turning up, followed shortly by the Fantastic Four and Dr Strange, at which point the Danger Room was booted up to allow Tora to escape. Therefore people could see her beating up robots just to prove that, yes she was alive, no she wasn't an evil clone and no, she wasn't leaving the room until the house was quieter.

It was half-eleven before she dared leave.

* * *

><p>Phoenix smirked then laughed.<p>

"Let's go on to New Year's Day, shall we?"

"Fine."

"Hello Tora. Why do you grace my lab with your presence?"

"There's something wrong with me."

Hank was immediately beside her. If Tora had the Legacy Virus, so soon after her return…

"Is it a continuation of the Hunter armour? I noticed some slightly unethical cut corners…"

"No. I wouldn't have noticed it unless I had my chips. At first I thought it was just from being back. Then it didn't stop. So I thought I should come down."

"What's wrong?"

"My hormone levels are spiking. I have chips that keep an eye on them for me and alert me if things go wrong."

"And are they going wrong?"

"Not exactly… It's odd. It's like they wouldn't normally be doing this but it's…**right**."

"Can you run that past me again? Wrong but right?"

"I can't explain it."

"Well let's take a look at you then. Right. Where exactly is this wrong-rightness emanating from?"

Tora sighed.

"Look, would it just be easier to upload my hormone level charts for the last month onto your laptop?"

Hank smiled.

"If all my patients were as considerate as you…"

Tora grinned and started the delicate task of turning on the wireless, which resulted in some wincing and connecting to Hank's computer. She didn't normally like doing this. It was like allowing people into her head. And there was always the slight chance of a computer virus messing up her memories. She finished and withdrew, leaving Hank with the graphs up and her entire medical history on her file just to make life easier for him. Hank was looking at the graphs with an odd expression on his face.

"Tora, would you mind me asking you a few personal questions?"

"What do you think it is Hank? Don't lie. I can smell lies."

Hank told her. And Tora grabbed the bench to steady herself.

"How?"

* * *

><p>The woman turned to look at Phoenix, who seemed both happy and sad at the same time.<p>

"Jealous Jean?"

"Just a little…"


	38. Questions Delayed

**Memories**

Questions Delayed

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

"Logan?"

"Not now Tora. I'm trying to fix this bike."

"Logan?"

"Give it a minute. We're in the Danger Room in two minutes."

"Logan?"

"In five minutes. I'm busy."

"Playing poker."

"That's busy."

"Logan!"

"Whurh… Go away… jus' sleepy…"

"Logan!"

"Can this wait till after lunch?"

"LOGAN!"

"What?"

"I don't believe you."

"What?"

"I've been trying to tell you something important for twenty-four hours now."

"Well, what is it?"

"I'm not certain I want to tell you now."

"Come on Tora…"

"Tora?"

"Not listening…"

"Tora?"

"Lah-li-lah…"

"TORA!"

"Now you know what it's like."

"So are you going to tell me?"

"No."

"Please…please Tora."

"No."

"Please…"

"No."

"Please."

"Maybe after I've finished stripping down my bike."

"Please…"

"I promise I'll tell you later."

"Now is later."

"No it isn't."

"Yes it is."

"Fine. Er…Dadda?"

"Oh…" -THUMP

* * *

><p>Tora sighed and went to get Hank. Logan was never going live down his fainting fit.<p>

Phoenix giggled, as did her companion.

"It's always the tough ones."

"Richard Parker went white…"

"Yes, but Logan fainted."

"Imagine what would happen if it was Fury…"

"Oh… Now I can't get the mental image out of my head. Little Fury kids with eyepatches."

* * *

><p>Hank silently left after a muttered 'I won't tell anyone else. Not until you want me to at any rate.' He also had some brilliant footage of Logan coming round that he was now going to use as his screensaver. The spluttering alone was priceless as blackmail material. And the 'How? When?' lines were pure gold especially with Tora's dry 'The way it normally happens I imagine' comment. Somehow sarcasm had snapped Logan back to reality and he'd started asking questions nineteen to the dozen. Hank left, leaving them to discuss in private.<p>

"How?"

"I am going to pretend you didn't ask that Logan."

"No, I mean how did you know?"

"I can sense the slight change in hormones that preceded it and Hank double checked it."

"When? We've been careful…"

"Not on Christmas Eve. If I remember correctly-" Of course she did, she couldn't forget anything, "-you were a little preoccupied on the whole, welcoming me back with open arms to think about protection."

"Oh…"

"Please don't faint again. Hank will never forgive me."

"But…"

"Please don't start the whole But lines. But I need to know, are you OK with this?"

"OK? OK? Tora, it's…it's brilliant."

"I'm not telling anyone else until I'm absolutely sure. And maybe not for a while after then. They'll throw me off the team."

Logan was about to answer when they heard a scream upstairs.

"JUBILATION LEE AND ROBERT DRAKE!"

They managed to open the door in time to see a shocking pink Etana charge past, screaming death threats in her native tongue so fast, Tora wasn't able to keep up. Logan was able to close the door before they both fell about laughing.

* * *

><p>Jean smirked as well.<p>

"Pink Etana, best laugh I'd had in ages…"

"Yes, but then Jubilee and Bobby turned their attentions to you."

"Oh yes. My hair colour was changing every other day."

"And the problems Etana had removing hair dye from feathers…"

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>__Jeanniebird- Yes, Luke will be important later on._

_Yes, Hank is working on the Legacy Virus._

_As for the timeline, chronologically, this is taking place three years after the Dark Phoenix Saga, which happened in November. The Christmas of that year (2003 in my timeline), Kitty was attacked by the N'Gari demon. Tora was rescued a week after Christmas the following year(2004). The Christmas after that(2005) was Tora's first Christmas she remembers celebrating and she returned on Christmas Eve the year after(2006). At the moment we're going through the Legacy Virus story arc, with things like the formation of the New Mutants happening off-screen as it were. _

_And yes, Eva died when Tora was twelve. However, we still have her greatest wish to be fulfilled…_

_As for your other question, I believe I just answered it.  
><em>

_Adelphe24- Yes, Tora was always Hunter. She needed an excuse to help the X-Men and what better excuse than once knowing an X-Man. Eva was convenient as if the X-Men ran checks as they surely would, it would show there had been a Project: Eden. _

_Any more questions?_


	39. Training with a Tiger

**Memories**

Training with a Tiger

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Luke edged slightly. He had been put on a training course with Tora, which was rather embarrassing because firstly he didn't know anything about her and secondly the other X-Men seemed so close to her. She was looking at him with those cat-like golden eyes that were slightly scary.

"So _Monsieur _Luke, how does your gift work?"

Luke shifted uneasily.

"I understand how you feel. I was just like you when I first joined."

He could see the sincerity in her eyes. She meant it. Relaxing, he brought his hands up and plucked the light threads out of the air, weaving them together into a net and throwing it over Tora who nodded as the illusion played out.

"Good, but you may need to work on scents. How would you keep illusions for a combat situation when you won't have time to weave them?"

Luke grinned and pulled out the pack of colourful nets.

"I have a series of pre-created illusions."

"Good. Now, what basic self-defence training do you have?"

"Er…none."

"Good. I don't want to have to undo mistakes. Right, first I'm going to see your natural talent."

"What!"

She didn't answer except to send a fist flying towards him. Luke ducked only to get caught on the foot coming up. He could tell she was going easy on him but he was nowhere near good enough to keep up. Finally she stopped.

"You'll do. We'll work on a style for you later. First, go and see Hank otherwise you won't be able to move in the morning."

Luke winced and limped off to get his bruises seen to. All he could say, he was glad it wasn't Logan, who would be even worse or Etana who would make him fight with sharpened swords. Tora went relatively easy on him and he'd got a good idea about her personality. It was like she was concentrating inwards, mind on something deep inside and she drew her strength from there.

Tora relaxed then straightened.

"Danger Room Protocol Five. Scenario Eight. Level Twelve."

"Warning. Level Twelve has no safety parameters."

"I know. Level Twelve. Else I'll reprogram you."

The room whirred to life and Tora got back into the swing of her fighting skills, a low spin kick sending a robot flying. Suddenly the program stopped.

"What?"

Logan was glaring at her.

"Level TWELVE! Tora, you can't do that!"

"I am perfectly capable of doing a Level Twelve, thank you very much."

"But you could get injured…"

She glared at him.

"That's what it's about isn't it? Well you should know that it may not even go full-term."

Logan yelped.

"WHAT!"

"In case you hadn't noticed, I have adamantium implanted into my skeleton."

"And…"

"And therefore my blood is full of adamantium, which is only not killing me because of my healing factor. And nutrients from my blood…"

She let the sentence hang in the air. Logan was round into the Danger Room in under ten seconds.

"Why didn't Hank…?"

"Because it's too early to tell. Later, if the…child…has a healing factor, it should kick in and keep it alive. If not…"

Logan almost forgot to breathe. He had never thought of that in the heady moment of happiness earlier that morning when she had told him. Idiot. He should have known about that. It had come up in one of their discussions before the wedding. It had been one of the reasons Tora had been against having kids. That and the fact they would be kidnapped every other week. He could see it was affecting her. More than she was letting on at any rate. He held her close and heard her heart beating, still faster than normal because she had been exercising. Which meant he couldn't tell if she was afraid or not.

* * *

><p>Jean sighed.<p>

"I understand her fear. Did she ever…"

"No questions Jean. No questions."

"Oh."

* * *

><p>Logan charged through the house managing to reach the Medi-lab in record time. Hank was sitting with Tora hooked up to various machines. He could tell she didn't like them. But what worried him more were the cuts that weren't healing on her arms.<p>

"Hank, what's wrong?"

"From what I can ascertain, her healing factor is rerouting, leaving only enough to stop her from dying from adamantium poisoning. The rest is keeping the child alive. When are you planning to tell everyone? Tora can't fight if she doesn't heal. And her immune system was weakened by the experiments performed on her. As such, a virus could severely weaken or even kill her."

Tora's head snapped up.

"You are **not** putting me in quarantine for eight months."

"I assure you, that was never my plan. All you have to do is be careful and not go on missions."

Tora groaned and buried her face in her hands. The sight was actually quite amusing.

"And Logan, that means you can't smoke anywhere near her. Passive smoking could harm the foetus even more."

"EVEN!"

"Despite the healing factor, there is still a chance the foetus could suffer heavy-metal poisoning."

Claws snikted out and Hank went cross-eyed trying to keep an eye on them.

"Ya mean, the kid could still die, even with Tora's healing factor?"

"Er, yes, that was the gist of it."

Logan slumped, claws retracting. Hank relaxed now his brain wasn't going to be skewered.

"You need to tell the others. They need to know why Tora isn't able to train or go on missions."

Tora nodded and Logan snorted. Hank took this to mean yes and called everyone down. Etana was there first and she winked at Logan, which meant she already knew or had at least guessed. When everyone was there, Hank had to cough to make then stop looking at the cuts on Tora's arm. Etana padded over and ran a knife over the back of her hand then pressed the blood to the cuts.

"What are you doing!"

"I am Cheyarafim. Our blood heals all but Neyaphim. Unfortunately I am enough Neyaphim to mean I do not heal. Warren's blood would be a better healer than mine. And I would never use my blood on Kurt as it is liable to increase his injuries."

Tora lifted her arm, showing a scar where the cut had been

"It won't heal any further Tora. I'm sorry but my healing isn't as good as yours."

"It's fine 'Tana. Just another scar."

"Don't call me 'Tana please."

"I heard Cap call you that."

"It was retaliation for Stevie-Boy."

"Will **somebody** please tell me why Tora isn't healing? We need her on missions."

"She won't be going on missions for at least eight months, probably more like a year Scott."

"WHAT! Why? Tell us why she isn't healing Hank."

"She isn't healing because her healing factor is engaged with another task that will lower her healing and immune system for eight months. She cannot use it as another lifeform is needing it to stay alive."

There was a moments silence until Jubilee went "Huh?" Scott froze.

"Like the Brood? Hank, why didn't you tell us earlier? This is important-"

"No Scott, it's not the Brood."

"Then WHAT IS IT!"

Tora glanced round for a place to hide. There was nowhere.

"Tora's pregnant."

There was a shocked silence then a scream of happiness from Jean and Tora was suddenly surrounded by arms. A muffled "Help!" caused Bobby to giggle. Etana reached over and touched Logan's arm.

"Good luck. You'll need it."

And on that cryptic remark, she left.

* * *

><p>The woman sat backwards but Jean stretched.<p>

"Do you do chairs in this place?"

"Pull up a cushion."

"I hate you."

"I know you don't mean that."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N.<strong>__ Adelphe24- Tora's wish hasn't been mentioned explicitly. It's more a matter of what thing haunts her most and she wishes she could undo it. Cough*Eva*cough._


	40. A Game of Questions

**Memories**

A Game of Questions

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Luke wandered into the kitchen to find Tora muttering what sounded like death threats against Hank, Logan, Scott and life in general. He was about to edge out when she called him back in.

"It's okay Luke. Do you want something to eat?"

Now she mentioned it, he was starving. She set about making some killer sandwiches and put most of them back in the fridge with a note telling the others to help themselves. She pushed a plate over and sat down.

"You've been avoiding me. Why? Did I injure you too badly when we sparred?"

"No. It's just I don't know anything about you."

"Fine. I don't know much about you either. I have a game. A question for a question. You can ask anything you want. Sound alright?"

"Suppose yeah."

"Then you go first."

Luke paused. She was leaning back in her chair, a look of polite concentration on her face. In the end he settled for the easiest question.

"Who are you?"

"I am many things. I was born Marie Circen-"

"So Eloise is your sister?"

"One question at a time please. For a long time I was Xii, a weapon with little knowledge of humanity. Then I came here and became Tora and Tigress. Does that answer your question?"

"Yeah, I suppose. Who-"

"Ah. My turn. You said you span illusions. How did you find out about your gift?"

"I was angry at a teacher. I ended up spinning an illusion that drove her mad. I wasn't in control and it scared me. How did you learn about yours?"

"It's not pretty. I always knew I was a mutant, just not what kind. I attempted to escape my prison but I was caught and thrown to some savage dogs. While I was there, my friend was thrown in. She was dead. The emotional pain caused my mutation to kick-start."

Luke couldn't really think of anything to say. Tora was looking at him politely.

"So you exactly are you?"

"I'm…I'm just Luke Hargreaves. Born in the Lake District, lived there all my life until I found out I was a mutant."

"And that isn't a proper answer. No one is **just **anything. I was never **just **Xii or **just **Tora. I have always been Xii and I have always been Tora."

Luke stared. The look in her eyes and the measured tone of her voice suggested she was mildly interested but the line of questioning suggested a greater interest.

"I'm not spoiling a party am I?"

Etana was standing in the doorway looking slightly harassed.

"Does anyone have Cap's number? Fury is pestering me again. Oh, lunchtime…"

She dived into the fridge and began to search through the sandwiches.

"Oh, found one. So, do you know Cap's number? Not the Avengers number, his private line?"

"Logan might."

"Logan happens to be away with the others. Oh well, I'll just go and see Steve in person."

"You see a lot of him don't you?"

"So? We're friends. And I'm going over all the stuff his other friends forgot to tell him about. He's never seen Monty Python Tora. He hadn't even **heard** of them! So we've been sitting through all four series and I've got him hooked on The Holy Grail. Now all I have to do is show him The Meaning of Life and he'll be addicted. I had Captain America rolling on the floor laughing at the Hitler in Minehead sketch."

Luke gasped.

"You like Python?"

"Love them. Never missed an episode. Went to Tunisia to see them filming Life of Brian."

"Cool…"

"Now I have to go. My best record is two minutes before he fell off his chair laughing. Just wait till I show him the Goodies…"

There was the usual light burst as she teleported away. Tora sighed.

"Learn something new about that woman everyday."

Then she got up.

"I have some errands to run and I apparently have a lunch date with Sue Richards. I hate the way we heroes gossip."

Then she leant over the table and grabbed a coat.

"Tell Eloise to help herself to the food. I shouldn't be gone too long. Try not to set the place alight. Hank's in the lab if you need him."

"I'll tell her."

Tora walked swiftly out of the house. It shouldn't be too long a walk and now she was banned from training she needed to exercise even more. Hiding just outside the mansion, a figure watched as the woman marched along the street. So close… Just a little closer…

* * *

><p>Jean shifted.<p>

"How long are we going to be looking at this for?"

"I'll go to your wedding if you want. But this is about Tora. About sacrifice. About the past."

"It always is the past."

* * *

><p>Tora watched from the window as the dancing took place. She couldn't dance. Fight, yes. Dance, no. But she could see Etana doing some sort of complicated solo dance that had people watching in wonder. Then she swept up Logan who grumbled and pulled away so she grabbed Cap's hands instead. Logan stumped in shortly afterwards.<p>

"What happened to the real Etana?"

"I think she's just happy. Why didn't you dance?"

"I don't dance."

A giggle disturbed them as Jean and Scott came in. Logan pointedly looked the other way before leaning in to whisper to Tora.

"See no evil, hear no evil, smell no evil."

She nodded. They left the kitchen, walking up the corridor in comfortable silence. A scent caused Tora to stop. Logan frowned, sniffed then smirked. He walked over to the library door and pulled it open to reveal a kissing couple.

"ELOISE!"

Tora's sister disentangled herself from Luke and blushed.

"_Eloise! Un garcon anglais, comment pourriez-vou!_"

There was a slight smile around her eyes that suggested she actually found this highly amusing.

"We were just kissing Tora."

"And in a public place I might add."

"I saw you kissing Logan on the sofa last night."

"I am married and an adult. You are sixteen and single."

"Hypocrite."

Luke was edging towards the door.

"Come here you two."

And she hugged them both.

"I think you better go out and dance with Kitty and Jubilee. They seem very lonely."

Rather relieved that she wasn't going to tease them anymore, the two teenagers ran out. Logan and Tora continued walking down the hall. A raised voice caused them to pause.

"You're pushing too hard Discus-Boy! Give me time! I've never done this before. I'm centuries old. I can't just go against my entire life in a year."

A low male voice, somewhat distorted so it was impossible to tell who it was spoke next.

"Etana, I'm not asking for that. All I want is to know if you meant it."

"Yes. No. Maybe. I don't know."

"I understand…"

"No Discus-Boy, you don't understand. This is against everything I taught myself to be. It's like you suddenly deciding you weren't human anymore."

"Etana, please…"

"Look, give me time. I'll know before the year is out."

"You told me you'll die in May!"

"Time is never stable. I could die, I may not. It's just highly probable."

"Etana, why are you so…cold. Sometimes I think there's something there. Then it goes."

"I'm sorry."

Then the door flung open and Etana walked past, her fur streaked with tears. Logan tried to peer round the door but Tora yanked his arm and prevented it.

"We shouldn't have heard that."

* * *

><p>Jean sat back in shock.<p>

"Etana…?"

"Yes."

"You will have to enlighten me."

"Maybe later."


	41. Old Promises

**Memories**

Old Promises

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Hank was sleeping on his keyboard when Logan burst in and shook him awake.

"Whur…Logan…? It's six in the morning…?"

"Yeah, and Tora ain't up!"

"What's wrong with that?"

"She normally wakes at five!"

What Logan said was true. Hank swore and ran upstairs, finding Tora curled up under the covers looking ill.

"Who slipped the gamma emitter in my coffee?"

"What?"

"This feels like radiation poisoning…"

Hank glanced over at Logan. Unsaid words flashed between them. When had Tora learnt what radiation poisoning felt like? She looked slightly green and she was curled up in a ball.

"This is worse than…"

What it was worse than never came out because she threw up. Hank blinked then smiled slightly.

"Logan, I think Tora is just suffering from morning sickness."

"Oh…"

Tora's red head stuck out from the covers.

"I want my healing factor back."

* * *

><p>Jean groaned.<p>

"I'd forgotten that. That was why I didn't have kids."

Her companion laughed.

"Oh, that's only the beginning. Then you get sleepless nights, puke on your shoulder, smells and who knows what else. Oh, and intensive trouble finding a half-way decent babysitter on short notice."

"I remember the letter. 'Will all supervillains give me twenty-four hours warning before you try to take over the world so I can get a babysitter.'"

* * *

><p>Etana reeled back with the force of the punch, blood splattering on fur. She glared at her assailant.<p>

"In case you hadn't noticed, I am **not** the evil, twisted wife of Apocalypse from your reality. And I know that because my teacher was a time traveller and reality jumper."

The big man shrugged.

"I'm never going to get a chance to do it to her, so I felt I needed to get it out of my system."

"Well, that's my eighth broken nose this century. I'm going to get Hank to patch me up."

He nodded at her.

"You seem pretty decent in this reality."

"Blame Captain America. Him and his morals."

He laughed. Then frowned.

"Have you met Apocalypse in this world?"

"Yes. I threw him off the top of a pyramid. That was after he proposed…"

"You…threw Apocalypse…off the top…of a pyramid…?"

"Yes. After I told him he was an arrogant, er, there isn't a word for the next bit in English. Just insert the rudest word you know. Times it by a hundred and you're almost there. Then I broke his nose and threw him off the pyramid."

"I think I'm going to like you."

"Good to know. So Nathan, when are you going to tell Scott?"

"Probably not for a while. And remember to call me Cable."

"Sure…Nate."

"Surrup."

"Oh, and don't make any references to Tora throwing up. Her healing factors on the blink."

* * *

><p>The two women laughed.<p>

"She never did tell us how she broke her nose. Or that Apocalypse proposed to her."

"It was a long time ago…"

"You think you'd remember that."

* * *

><p>Tora sighed. March and the boredom had set in. No missions, no training. All she could do was help Hank and he'd banned her from the lab because she hadn't got her healing factor. So now she was reduced to babysitting Franklin Richards, which to tell the truth wasn't actually that boring. He was a smart kid and he seemed quite easy to deal with. And he could play chess which meant they didn't have to watch TV or anything like that. Instead they talked and laughed. Franklin told her things that she had missed out on, like games and childhood jokes. She told stories from the books she had read and introduced him to Etana. That had been a touching moment. He had tilted his head to one side and then asked, very plaintively 'Can I touch your wings?' Etana had smiled and extended one out for him to touch. It ended up with a game of hide and seek that involved teleportation, flight and something being set on fire. But once Etana had put her wings out and they'd aired the place to get rid of the smell of singed feathers, Franklin had gone to sleep with his head on her lap and the look Etana had given him made Tora wonder why Etana had never had children.<p>

* * *

><p>The image froze of the tender look in Etana's silver eyes. She did look gentler than she normally did. Her hair had been pulled up into a ponytail, at odds with her usual loose hair or elaborate hairstyles for fighting. The fur and feathers around her eyes were slightly singed but she looked content and slightly wistful.<p>

"I never saw her looking like that."

"She wanted children. She never had the chance to have them."

"Yeah. It's sad."

* * *

><p>Etana looked at the raw skin under the patchy fur. Exactly as the Master said it would happen. She'd been avoiding the others for days. It was now mid-April and she had one last thing to do before she went to see Hank and tell him. She closed her eyes and teleported, arriving outside a door.<p>

Etana stood at the door for a second before knocking.

"'Tana?"

"Steve. I need to talk."

"What about?"

"I've contracted the Legacy Virus."

She tilted her head back, waiting to see how he reacted.

"You better come in."

She stepped in and smiled slightly. The room was a typical 40's bedroom, with the shield hanging above the bed.

"Who knows?"

"Just you."

"Beast will find a cure."

"Yes. Yes he does."

He was finding it hard to see how she was taking it so well. She'd just informed him she had a fatal illness in the tone one used to say 'I have a dog'. She gazed at him with those silver eyes.

"I came to tell you that if you come to see me I'll refuse. Not because I don't want to see you. I don't want you to have to see the effects of the Virus. It's not pretty."

He knew about the virus. Everyone did. But it was something that happened to other people. The idea that the Shadow, the Darkwing, could catch it, much less die from it was inconceivable. She had lived through war, genocide and numerous assassination attempts. Steve reached out a hand and touched her arm. Aside from dancing, this was the closest they'd been physically in years. Somehow the comforting touch on her arm became an embrace as Steve tried to deal with what he'd been told and Etana's bleak future. She pulled away from him, silver eyes sad.

"Captain, what we had died. Don't try and bring back the dead."

He looked hurt but simply nodded.

"You better go then."

Etana nodded then turned to go.

"See you around Discus-Boy."

Steve didn't see the tears in her eyes or the thoughts in her head. It was better for them both this way. Less hurt when she died as she surely would. Steve didn't know she was hoping, praying that he would call her back. How could he? He wasn't a telepath. Both knew deep down that Steve would never see Etana alive again. And that old questions would never be answered. Old dreams never lived. Old promises broken.

* * *

><p>Phoenix gasped.<p>

"Cap!"

Her companion smiled.

"Yes."


	42. Swansong of An Angel

**Memories**

Swansong of an Angel

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Tora could see Etana standing in the early morning sunlight. Her once glossy black wings were extended to dry but that just served to highlight the raggedness of them. Her hair, which had been silky silver was now dull grey. Her fur was patchy. She knew Etana was dying. Etana knew she was dying. But everyone else was saying that she'd survive, that there would be a cure. It would almost certainly be too late for her. 3000 years of history was about to lose one of it's driving forces.

"Etana?"

"Tora."

"I brought a coffee.

A shaking hand reached out, missed the cup and hit against the tray. She rarely allowed the truth of her weakness to show. Tora and Tora alone knew how weak the Legacy Virus was leaving her.

"I won't make it to August Tora."

August. When the baby was due. All Etana wanted was to see the baby.

"You will last to August, even if we have to drag your bed next to mine."

Etana just smiled wistfully. She wasn't in pain yet but she was weak.

"I'm a dead woman walking Tora. You know that, I know that. Everybody knows it."

"You'll survive Etana. You have to."

She managed to look even sadder. She managed to pick up the cup and drank slowly, savouring the taste. Her sight had almost completely deserted her. Her hearing was going. She could no longer tell you by your step. Her breathing was slow and shallow. A virus was managing to do what countless others had tried and failed to do. Kill the Fallen Angel. Her wings were no longer angelic but crow-like, with flight feathers moulting. The feathers around her wrists, ankles and tail had dropped out completely. Black fur was scattered over the mansion. Etana's death, when it finally came, would be slow, painful and humiliating.

"If it's a boy, will you call him James? For me?"

She didn't say anything else, just gazed into the distance. Tora knew deep down that she was preparing herself for the certain future. She was going to die and soon. The only question was, when?

* * *

><p>Phoenix burned away the tears on her face before her companion could see them. Etana had been difficult at times but she had always been fiercely loyal to Logan, Tora, Cap and Fury. And beneath the sometimes brusque exterior she had sensed the passion with which Etana felt things. She looked at her companion, real tears streaming down the human side of her face, red liquid sliding down the mask.<p>

* * *

><p>"Piotr, Tora wanted to speak to you."<p>

Colossus turned and frowned.

"Etana, why are you out of your room? Hank ordered you to get bed rest."

"I needed to find out if this miracle cure is real."

"It is. But Hank won't let us use it."

"I know. Now Tora is out in the grounds. You better hurry up. She seemed pretty worried."

He nodded and walked away. Etana managed to stumble to the elevator, in which she collapsed as her legs buckled. She managed to pull herself upright before the doors opened.

"Etana, what are you doing down here?"

"I heard about the cure."

"Yes. I'm making refinements and then we'll have you healthy again."

She smiled.

"Good. Can I see it?"

Hank pointed to a small syringe in a rack.

"Don't touch it. I don't want you dying on me. They'll accuse me of injecting it into you."

"Like anyone would do that Hank."

He laughed. She brushed the glass tube.

"Thanks Hank. For everything."

"I think I'll have the cure by next week."

She smiled and managed to get to the lift. As she did so, she slipped the small metal syringe into her pocket. Didn't Hank remember she had the best sleight of hand in the mansion? Or rather, sleight of tail.

Once she was out of the lab she slipped it back into her hand as she hurried up to her room. When she got there she checked the eight letters on her bed. Logan, Tora, Fury, Charles, Kurt, Hank, Max/Eric/Magus and Steve. Steve…

Pushing aside doubts she stepped up onto the windowsill. Her inky wings spread wide and she launched herself into the air, every beat a sword thrust into her back. She climbed, grimacing with pain. Reaching a hovering altitude she sped up her wing beats and pulled out the syringe. Fingers caught as she pulled down the high neck of her top to reveal a vein. A moment's pause then metal pierced flesh. The cure shot through her bloodstream, reaching her heart and she was falling. The syringe span out of her limp hand and she felt a calming blackness engulf her. Then she wasn't falling but flying. Strong arms held her up and silver eyes opened. Warren was letting her fly again, letting her fly without pain. A single word slid past Etana's lips.

"_Adonai…_"

Then the silver orbs lost their spark and her body went limp in Warren's arms.

* * *

><p>Neither woman made any attempt to hide their tears. Both had known people who died of the Legacy Virus. And Etana's death had been so…unnecessary. Hank had managed to create the cure within a week, just like he had promised. But it would never be needed, due to Etana's stubbornness.<p>

* * *

><p>Tora had been sitting the library, reading the books Sue Richards had given her which she found incredibly dull and wondering how long it would be before Hank allowed her back on active duty when Piotr had come in.<p>

"I thought you were in the garden. I just spent ten minutes looking for you."

"Why would I be in the garden?"

"You sent Etana to speak to me."

"I didn't. Where was she?"

"I was going down to the lab…about the cure. And she was going down as well…Oh…"

Tora was already standing up.

"Piotr, go and see Hank **NOW**! I'm going up to her room. Get Warren and Storm to do an aerial sweep."

"You think…"

"Haven't you noticed the date? I was so stupid! It's the 18th of May! She told Cap she died tomorrow but I bet she was lying."

Piotr swore and went running off to see the others while Tora moved quickly to get upstairs to the attic. The window was open and eight envelopes were on the bed. One was addressed to her. She ripped it open and read the letter inside, before looking in confusion at the second envelope that had been inside the first.

_Dear Tora,_

_I'm sorry I never had a chance to say goodbye properly. I wish I could have stayed alive long enough to see your child born but even if the Virus was cured I would have been too weak to survive. So I decided to do the only thing that I feel able to do. If I hadn't done this, then Piotr would have. Ask him if you don't believe me. And tell Scott that Nathan is coming home. I met him._

_I hope you don't think too badly of me, or that I am taking a coward's way out. Tora, do you remember the conversation we had the night before your wedding? You must do… The real reason I have never loved was because I felt I was unclean. You will always be a better person than me. What 13-year-old girl kills eighteen men? That was I. I killed before I learnt that I could teleport. That's all I thought I was. It took a good man to show me I was more than that._

_As for the other envelope, do not open it until the symbol on the seal has meaning to you. True meaning, so you know exactly __**what**__ and __**who**__ you are._

_From _

_Etana_

Tora crumpled the letter and the other, beautiful blue-white envelope with a silver seal into her pocket and hurried downstairs. As she reached the door she saw Warren land. Even from here she could see the black body in his arms and smell the death on the breeze. She screamed and ran towards the wings and tail trailing on the ground. Etana hadn't a mark on her other than a spot of blood on her chest. Tora wiped it away and caught the last fading scent of Etana. Warren looked her in the eye.

"I caught her when she fell. There was nothing I could do."

"I know Warren. She was too weak to do that. She shouldn't have flown."

"I think she wanted to die flying. Tora, what does _Adonai _mean?"

"Why Warren?"

"It was her last word. I think it meant something to her."

"Of course it did Warren. _Adonai _means My Lord. It's traditionally used in Jewish prayer."

"She was praying?"

"What do you think Warren? She was a devout Jew and she was dying. What else was she going to say?"

"I don't know? How about 'Please, I don't want to die'?"

"She injected herself Warren. She knew what she was doing!"

Then the tears came and she couldn't stop them. She heard the others coming up behind her and Logan's choked gasp. Etana had started to tell him about his past and flashbacks were meaning he had been a lot closer to her than the other X-Men. Only Tora was as friendly as he was. A warm arm wrapped around Tora and she heard Hank muttering about how it was his fault. Tora rounded on him.

"Don't you **dare **blame yourself Henry Phillip McCoy! Etana made a choice. Respect it and the fact she gave her life for us."

Beast nodded and then watched as Tora broke down even further, leaning on Jean even more.

* * *

><p>Jean sighed.<p>

"Remember Nathan's first words when he came home?"

"'Where is Etana?' How could one forget?"

"She didn't deserve to die like that…"

"How would you have her die? In battle against an opponent who would have to resort to trickery to kill her? In bed, dying of an illness she could not fight? Or giving her life for those she cared about, in the most honest way she could?"

"When you put it that way…"

* * *

><p><strong><em>A.N. <em>**_For those of you who can't wait for the time-travelling section of the story and want more Etana, read my Cap/X-Men crossover about Poland 1944 and her relationship with Cap._


	43. Friends of the Shadow

**Memories**

Friends of the Shadow

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Kurt was looking at the letter in disbelief.

"I think you should read this Tora."

"What?"

"Etana's letter to me."

_Dear Uncle Kurt,_

_Hope you don't mind my familiar name for you. I had hoped that your mother would be the one to tell you this but she didn't. Margali and I are old friends. So when I rescued the mutant baby from the cliff his mother threw him from, I brought him to her. That baby was you Kurt. I feel terrible to know that if I did my duty as I was supposed to, you would never have been born. Now I know what stayed my hand when I prepared to kill Azazel. It was you and the fact that the world would be a worse place if you had not been born. And when all feels wrong, remember I gave my wings for you. I used my wings to shield you. So never doubt your worth Kurt. You were the one the Shadow gave her flight for. Until we meet again at the gates of Heaven._

_Yours,_

_Etana_

The final sweep of the 'a' looked incredibly final. Tora held out her hands for Kurt to cry into. Then her thoughts slid to the blue-white envelope with the silver seal embossed with a flying dragon, serpentine body twisting, wings open, head roaring defiantly to the sky.

* * *

><p>Phoenix sighed.<p>

"He never forgave himself. He couldn't"

"He wasn't supposed to feel guilty."

"But he did."

* * *

><p>Cap burst into the room.<p>

"Where's 'Tana?"

Then he saw the black clothes and the sad expressions and he sagged.

"No…"

A blue, furry hand reached out.

"Steve, I knew you and Etana were friends. You were one of eight people she left a letter for."

"Yes. Yes, we were friends…"

A smaller hand reached out and he was looking into golden eyes.

"Etana always spoke of you with the greatest respect and fondness. I think she classed you as a best friend."

"Thank you Tora. Will…Will I be able to see her?"

"I don't think that's a good idea. Firstly, viewings of the body aren't a part of Jewish culture and secondly, you haven't seen Etana since she contracted the Virus. It's better that you remember her the way she was. She had one of the worst reactions to the Virus so far."

"What do…?"

"Her wings were pretty much ruined. Her fur had started moulting. You get the idea. If anything, you have the best memories of Etana. As a whole, healthy warrior who was proud, honourable and stubborn as a mule."

Cap managed to squeeze out a slight laugh.

"Yes. She was always stubborn. Always…"

"You better come upstairs. There's the letter and a few things she left to you."

He realized what she was doing. Giving him the privacy to cry, without the others seeing him. Sometimes he wondered exactly how much Tora knew. He let her lead him upstairs. The room was pretty empty, unlike the other houses she had. He'd seen the Manhattan apartment a few times when she invited him over for coffee and Python marathons. But here was functional only. The letter was pressed into his hand. Then a small package. He could feel a frame and canvas through the paper and knew what it was. She had told him about it on a mission. A painting done by Da Vinci of her. She'd been complementing him on a sketch he had done of her while she was asleep and mentioned how Da Vinci had been a perfectionist who wouldn't let her move while he was painting her. That had led into a conversation about famous people she knew. He opened the letter and read it. He couldn't help but cry. It was simply put and to the point, very like Etana herself, telling him why she had pushed him away. Tora's hands were on his face, letting the tears slide away and he knew she would never speak of this moment to anyone. She knew and she always had.

* * *

><p>Jean looked at her companion.<p>

"How long had she known for?"

"Every time Etana went on one of her not-dates, she smelt of no one. Logan noticed but Tora ran into Cap one day and he smelt of Etana. So she guessed."

"Ah."

* * *

><p>They all stared open mouthed at the tall man with a metal arm.<p>

"Let me repeat the question. Where is Etana?"

"Nathan…?"

"Yes. …Father. Where is Etana?"

"She's dead."

He looked sad.

"I liked her when I met her. Much better than my reality's version at any rate. That one kept trying to kill me."

"You met Etana?"

"She was waiting when I arrived for the first time."

"Why is it she always **did** that?"

"You mean the being in the right place at the right time?"

"No, the being in the **wrong **place at the **wrong **time."

"When did she die?"

"A week ago. The funeral was four days ago."

"Wasn't that a bit quick?"

"We found someone to do the service."

"Oh…"

He noticed red eyes and realized people probably didn't want to talk about this right now.

* * *

><p>Jean sighed.<p>

"Can we skip to August? Aside from the Shi'ar diplomatic incident, it was pretty boring in between."

"If you want to."


	44. A Life to Look Out For

**Memories**

A Life to Look Out For

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Logan was working on the bike to take his mind off things when Kitty came down looking worried.

"Logan!"

"What?"

"Logan, it's…it's…Tora…"

He leapt up and swore. The journey to the medi-lab never took so long. When he got there, Jean stopped him.

"What?"

"Dr Reyes and Hank are busy. And Tora told me to keep you out."

"WHAT!"

"Her exact words were 'Don't allow my idiot of a husband in here because one, he'll faint or something equally embarrassing, two, he'll end up going feral on Hank and killing everyone and three, I really won't be feeling very friendly towards him and will almost certainly try to stab him.' Is that a good enough reason?"

"She won't let me in?"

"Yes. She won't."

"Why not!"

"Because of the three reasons I just gave. And also, she may need a C-section. She has adamantium bones, which means that her hips may not be wide enough. Especially with the fact she was only fourteen when the metal was implanted. You can ask Hank about it later."

A scream stopped the conversation. Logan tried to run through the doors but Jean held him back telekinetically.

_Logan, hold yourself together._

She spoke telepathically, hammering the words home. Logan growled and reduced himself to pacing backwards and forwards outside the door, trying to block out the noises. He didn't know how long he was there for. The other X-Men came down, Kurt staying for longest. Rogue sounded wistful and Storm brought some food. But the thing that kept him sane was Jean's little titbits. Like that Tora was almost there. That a C-section would not be needed. That he could go in now.

The last comment almost didn't register and then he was leaping through the doors. Hank looked slightly flustered and Tora looked exhausted but otherwise healthy. And then Reyes held out a tiny bundle of blankets.

"Meet James."

"James?"

"Etana asked me to name the baby James if he was a boy. If you don't like it…"

"No. James is fine."

Then he looked at her.

"And you. Are you fine?"

"I'm fine Logan. Aren't you going to hold him?"

He backed off sharpish.

"I'd drop him."

"Logan, you never drop anything you don't mean to drop."

And then Reyes placed the tiny bundle into Logan's arms. The thing…the baby…his son, stirred and then looked up with ice-blue eyes the exact shape of Tora's.

"I think he'll have blue eyes. I was born with golden eyes."

The baby squirmed then started screaming.

"What am I doing wrong? Doesn't he like me?"

"I imagine holding him directly under the light has something to do with it."

Logan moved and looked down at the boy sheepishly.

"Sorry kid."

The boy gurgled and nestled in closer. Logan was vaguely aware of Hank and Cecilia leaving quietly but that was about it. Tora reached out a hand.

"You look so sweet like that."

"What?"

"You're just gazing down at him with this soppy look on your face."

"I am not!"

"You are. You're going to make a good dad. Just try not to spoil him."

"I won't!"

"Then why, pray tell, were you planning to buy him a little toy push-tricycle Harley?"

"You know about that?"

"Jean told me."

"Oh…"

"Yes. Oh. I think he wants feeding."

"Here."

The tiny bundle was passed from one to another.

"So little Jimmy, do you like your family."

"I don't think he's a Jimmy. He looks too like you for that."

"Odd. I was going to say he looked like you."

"He looks like both of us?"

"Fine."

"How about Jamie?"

"If that's what you want to call him."

His hand brushed the delicate head with a thin layer of black hair. He had a life to look after. And that was why they were leaving in a week's time. Leaving for Shikoku and Etana's, now his, house there. The others were theirs as well but the Professor had accepted the Canadian Eyrie as a holiday house for the students who were trickling into the school. Excalibur were using Aingeal Castle as their new base and the Venice townhouse was being lent to Fury for a SHIELD mission. And Spider-Man was staying in the Manhattan apartment with MJ while his house was being rebuilt. And the safe-houses had been given to the X-Corporation. Etana had deliberately willed them to the mutant cause. There had been a problem with birth dates and surnames but a few letters; including some terrible Italian love-poetry signed Giovanni had proved Etana had been around three thousand years. That and a series of Roman scrolls talking of the Jewish angel of death, who stood proud in the Temple and fought off the soldiers until a spear pierced her side. Also there were a few documents and a single piece of cloth, which Hank had carbon dated and discovered it had fur follicles that belonged to an infant Etana. The fur was around the right age and Reed Richards had verified it. The US government had decided that he didn't have to use his experimental time-travel machine to interview a twenty-year-old Etana. Also, the exact date would have been hard to pinpoint. She had apparently given up counting her birthdays when she reached 730. It depressed her. And she couldn't place her birthday into a Georgian calendar as she counted by the Jewish calendar and had the stubborn habit of referring to the year as 5768. They'd seen the painting she'd left Steve. A typical painting of David about to kill Goliath, only this one had Etana –and it was obviously Etana- guiding his hand. The note called it "_L'Angela della Morte guida della Pietra di David_" or "The Angel of Death Guiding the Stone of David". Which Kurt had noted was rather inaccurate seeing as she claimed to have been born in David's reign and therefore had missed the entire Goliath episode by several years. This had resulted in Piotr countering that Etana had simply been modelling and Kurt had responded with "In a toga? With a sword? And a helmet that was wrong for the era?" On the whole, it had been rather funny.

* * *

><p>Jean froze as a corner of the room lit up, revealing the painting. It had been restored countless times, until the original paint had flaked away and the canvas was gone. It had ended up being the eldest material thing left in the end. Her companion had treasured it above almost all else. And now it's shade hung in the cavern. Shades and copies. That was all that existed now.<p> 


	45. Cry for the Children

**Memories**

Cry for the Children

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Tora kicked Logan as the screaming reached a new intensity.

"Whur…?"

"It's your turn to look after him."

"What?"

"I fed him and that was last time. He'll need changing now."

"I am not…"

"You are Logan. And I'm catching up on sleep."

Her head hit the pillow and he could tell she wasn't going to wake up any time soon. Grumbling he went into the room next door and started the distasteful task of changing Jamie's nappy as Tora insisted on calling it. He didn't see what was wrong with diaper but apparently she'd been talking with Meggan Braddock and picked up British colloquialisms. When he finished the boy gurgled happily and snuggled up. In the two months since his birth he had grown and he was now alert to everything that happened. In looks, he had the black hair and ice-blue eyes of Logan, but his skin was the slightly darker shade that Tora's skin had gravitated to. It seemed impossible for her to tan or get sunburn, her skin was just naturally a warm olive. Like Eloise, like most Provincial French. Jamie gurgled and Logan became humming a tune he half remembered from somewhere. A tune that had been sung in a soft, gentle voice that he felt he should know.

"Blow the wind, blow;

Swift and low;

Blow the wind o'er the ocean.

Breakers rolling to the coastline;

Bringing ships to harbour;

Gulls against the morning sunlight;

Flying off to freedom!"

He heard a noise and turned to see Tora standing in the doorway.

"Where did you learn that?"

"It was just always there."

She smiled slightly.

"I think he's asleep."

And he was, eyes tightly shut, hand curling around Logan's finger. So small, so fragile. So perfect. He placed him back into the cot and pulled the warm blanket, a gift from Jean, over him. The little mobile swung round and the small Bamf doll at the foot of the bed looked over Jamie like a guard against the real world. Etana had known they would come here. Just like she'd known the money would be unwanted and sent most of it to mutant charities and a bit for financing the Avengers and the X-Men. And a trust fund for Jamie. The room was painted in warm colours, with the X-Men on the walls. Kurt was on the ceiling over the cot and Warren was just landing. Etana was conspicuously absent. Jean and Scott had their arms around each other and Remy and Rogue were on opposite walls but their eyes had been painted to be meeting. Hank was standing looking intelligent and Bobby was throwing snowballs. And Logan, Tora and a baby stood where the cot had been placed. Logan was looking at the painted Tigress when arms had wrapped around him and the real one had rested her head on his shoulder.

"You'll need some sleep. You have to go into town tomorrow, to pick up the generator."

He sighed and left the room, glancing back wistfully at the chair next to the cot.

* * *

><p>Jean looked incredibly wistful as well.<p>

"He was a good dad."

"One of the best."

"He would kill for his children."

"So would she."

* * *

><p>Tora was standing in the kitchen getting ready and talking to Jean who she knew had her on speakerphone.<p>

"Look, I'm exhausted. Babies happen to wake up in the night. Yes, the generator broke and we can't fix it, so Logan's going down to get a new one."

"No, it's not going to be a problem."

"I don't know when we'll be coming back. We'll visit at Christmas."

"We may not come back to active duty until Jamie's a teenager."

"He needs to be able to understand"

"I heard that Scott! No, we are **not** teaching him how to fight. He's two months old!"

"Yes, we are training. Look, I've got to go. I need to feed Jamie. Bye."

She fitted the mobile back into the box they kept for emergencies. Like the generator failing and plunging them all into darkness. Then she allowed her pupils to widen, giving her better vision of the dark corridors than most. She reached the door and instantly knew something was wrong. According to her nose, she had been here just minutes previously. She pushed open the door and froze. An empty cot, and a broken window. And above all, the scent of Poacher rolling on the breeze.

* * *

><p>Jean froze.<p>

"It's about to happen isn't it?"

"Yes."

* * *

><p>Logan was in the middle of buying the generator when the soul band started battering his mind. Tora is in danger, Tora is in danger. He needed to make an excuse and his phone buzzing did just the trick. Apologising for having to go, 'Family troubles and all that', he used his bike to get up to the house as fast as possible. When he did he knew instantly what was wrong. The Tigress costume had disappeared and there was a scent he recognized. Poacher had been here. And she had taken Jamie.<p>

Without bothering to get into uniform, Logan charged after the scents on the wind, running so fast, he tore some tendons but they healed and he kept on running. He had to get to Tora. He had to.

* * *

><p>Jean looked at her companion.<p>

"He didn't make it in time."

"How could he?"


	46. One Must Die

**Memories**

One Must Die

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Tora ran across the land, ignoring all scents other than the one directly in front of her. And then she was there. Poacher was holding Jamie aloft, as if she was an Aztec priest and he was the knife. He was crying, knowing somehow that this person wasn't his mother.

"Hello 'Tora'."

"Give. Him. Back."

An evil smile twisted around Poacher's lips.

"So **protective**. So…**touching**. Are you like this with everyone?"

Tora snarled.

"This is our fight. Don't drag my son into this."

"I have my plans for this boy. Wouldn't it be bittersweet if your own son killed you? I could raise him as my own. Teach him to hate you. Or…I could just do **this**."

Claws ripped through the sleepsuit and Jamie screamed. Then he was dropped and Tora howled. Poacher's eyes widened in fear as she saw the animal break free. An animal whose greatest instinct was to protect her infant. Claws chickted into position and she charged, screaming. There was no strategy, no plan. Just a deep-set desire. Kill. Kill. Kill.

Tora seemed oblivious to the claws tearing into her arms. All that mattered was her cub was dead. And this female was responsible. Therefore, this female must die. Her training came into play and she dodged a swipe to the chest. Tora was deep down, but even she was baying for blood. Then claws pierced unresisting flesh.

* * *

><p>Phoenix recoiled in horror.<p>

"Oh…"

* * *

><p>Logan was running when he heard the scream. He picked up the pace and Tora appeared ahead, charging Poacher. A small body lay on the ground. NO! Please no! Then he saw Tora take a swipe to her arm and he was still too far away to help and then he saw her snarl and claws ripped through flesh and bone, piercing a heart and lungs. Then Tora screamed again, this time a scream of regret and pain. And she sheathed her claws and the body slumped away from her. She looked down at her bloodstained gloves and blinked, then she collapsed to the ground murmuring under her breath. Logan could almost hear the words.<p>

"Father…accident…I have…hate myself…one of us…had to die…"

He wrapped his arms around her, allowing her to cry onto his shoulder, then she stopped and crawled over to Jamie. He heard her intake of breath and moved quickly, to see the gashes healing in his chest and the blue eyes opening.

"Impossible…"

Then Jamie started bawling that showed he was hungry and Tora peeled off her gloves and threw them aside. As she comforted him, Logan walked over to the body. She looked scarily like Tora. A dead Tora, lying spread-eagled on the ground, blood pooling over her chest from the eight puncture wounds. He knew what he had to do next. He carefully changed the injuries, so it looked as though he had been the one to stab her and stab her in a fit of berserker rage. Tora… He couldn't let them look down on Tora for what she had done. The way he knew Scott looked down on him. Then he glanced over at Tora, holding Jamie close, tears streaming down her face. Her eyes met his.

"If I ever, **ever **do that again Logan, no matter the circumstances, swear to me, **swear to me**, that you will kill me before I become **her**."

"Tora…"

"Swear to me Logan."

He could see she meant this.

"I will swear if you agree to one thing."

"What?"

"That you will back me up when I say that I killed her."

"Logan…"

"Tora, I will only swear what you want me to, if you agree to this."

He saw the conflict in her eyes. The love of the truth and the fear of what she could become. He felt terrible doing this, but it was for her own good.

"I swear."

He nodded.

"Then I promise that if you ever murder anyone, no matter on what reason, I will…kill you."

She nodded and then she looked away, returning to soothing Jamie. He turned round and hoped he had a signal up here. They needed to go home. Here was unsafe. And just now, the mansion was the safest place to be. Where people could be watching out for Tora and Jamie.

* * *

><p>Phoenix looked at her companion.<p>

"She killed…"

"Of course she did."

"But I've killed. I killed two men, while in my right mind. Although Prism was an accident."

"I know."

"She knew as well."

"But Logan knew how Scott would react."

* * *

><p>Hank's first thought when he stepped off the Blackbird was that Tora was hurt. Her arms had been bandaged and she had an impressive black eye that was already fading to green and yellow. Then he saw the blanket on the ground. He knew why he was here. The blanket pulled back to reveal a face that looked scarily like Tora had once looked. He pulled down further, revealing the slashes in her chest and stomach.<p>

"Who did this?"

"I did."

He turned and saw Logan standing looking defiant.

"How, when she has a healing factor?"

"Tora gave me some of her healing halter. I used that."

Hank nodded. Then he saw the travelling cot that lay beside Tora.

"How's Jamie?"

"He's asleep."

Hank glanced down at the child who was indeed asleep and cuddling close to the Bamf doll that Kurt had given his godson. This was going to be difficult. Not to mention they now had two Tora clones dead. One buried in the mansion and with a changed gravestone. The other lying at his feet. How many were there exactly? Tora wasn't entirely sure. She knew how many brain dead versions there were as she had learned to control them. But if they were like Poacher then she hadn't a clue. She thought Poacher was unique, a back-up in case she did something that damaged herself permanently. Then she would be 'culled' and Poacher would be removed from stasis and continue from where Tora had left off. But she couldn't be certain. Hank sighed and helped Logan move the body into the Blackbird. Cremation seemed the best option. That way it would be almost impossible for her to be brought back.

* * *

><p>Jean shuddered.<p>

"I can't believe Tora insisted we give Poacher a proper funeral."

"It was a matter of respect."


	47. Lesson Plans

**Memories**

Lesson Plan

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Tora stood for a second before going into the classroom. With the influx of students increasing, she had been roped into teaching the Languages class and also ran the elective Espionage, Principal Protection and Mutant Rights classes. As such, she was glad Scott had allowed her off active duty, especially since they'd put her in charge of a group on six young mutants. She had wanted the self-defence classes but Logan had taken them. Piotr was teaching Art, Kurt, Drama, Scott Tactics and Elective Leadership, Jean, Telekinesis and so on. Apparently, despite the ex-New Mutant Moonstar teaching American History, they couldn't find anyone to teach World History as the most knowledgeable person had died. And Emma-not a baddie anymore-Frost was teaching English and Ethics. Tora entered the classroom and a quiet hush descended.

"_Salut. Je m'appelle Tora Logan et je suis votre professeure des langues. Cette leçon, nous allons étudier la langue français. _Can anyone tell me what I just said?"

There was silence.

"It wasn't too hard. French is based in Latin, and English has many roots in both French and Latin."

Again silence.

"I don't bite."

Then a tentative hand rose.

"_Qui?_"

"What happened to your face?"

Tora sighed then resigned herself.

"My megalomaniac clone attacked me."

That only drove the class into a deeper silence. This was going to be an uphill struggle.

"Does anybody speak any other languages?"

More silence. At this point Tora gave up and sat down, sitting in a silence that seemed to cut through the room. People shifted, nervous until finally a hand went up.

"Yes?"

"Can you please stop doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"Just…staring at us."

"I am simply mimicking you."

A ripple of voices at that, then someone laughed.

"Right, can we get on with the lesson now?"

A chorus of 'Yes Miss'es rang out. Tora smiled slightly and started scribbling on the board.

"I will not be teaching you set sentences. Instead I will teach you the rules of the language and basic nouns and infinitive verbs. Irregular verbs must be learnt by heart. We have here the three verb endings. –er, –ir and –re. Can anyone give me the verb endings?"

By the end of the lesson she just wanted to hit her head of the desk. Thankfully things had picked up in the end and she had them laughing. But now she had the Espionage class, which had proved to be so popular they'd split it in two. Sighing she stood up. She'd have time to feed Jamie before going to the Danger Room. She'd programmed it last night.

* * *

><p>Jean laughed.<p>

"That was a hilarious lesson to watch. Can we see the other one?"

"If you wish to."

* * *

><p>Tora stood looking at the class.<p>

"So who took this class because they thought it would be all James Bond style stunts?"

A few hands guiltily were raised.

"I know it's more than those three."

The rest of the class raised their hands.

"Well it's not like that. I happen to be one of the best covert operatives in the world. Maybe only the Black Widow is as good as I am. So today, I am going to have each of you take a test to see how suited you are to the course."

It would be simple. Each person had to try and deliver a folder of secret documents to their contact. The first two people blundered straight into the first alarm and had the guards arrest them. The third was shot as they tried to grab the folder. And so on. None succeeded. Then Tora turned to look at them.

"You all acted as if you were in a film. I am going to show you how it's done."

She walked in and first found the security booth. In there, she stabbed the hologram and watched as it collapsed. Ruthless and she would normally have just concussed him but she needed to show the students that spying was a merciless business. For a second, the man's body changed into that of Poacher's spread-eagled on the ground and with fearful eyes. She shook the vision away before it distracted her.

Then she hacked into the security network and put the cameras on a loop. Standing, she sauntered down the holographic corridors, waving cheerily to a man walking past her, as if she had every right to be there. She reached the filing cabinet and carefully removed the wallet folder, making sure she didn't leave fingerprints. Then she photographed each page. Placed the folder back into the wallet then sauntered out. She was about halfway out when the alarms sounded, meaning the Danger Room had decided the body had been found. She walked with the others to the main foyer and spotted her contact. She walked past him, dropping the camera. He picked it up and then Tora saw him nod. She broke for the door, pulling out the knife as she did so. The guards levelled the stun guns at her and she knew she could have made it to the door but the students wouldn't. So she turned and brought the knife up to her throat. The guards lowered the guns slightly. She knew that. Try to keep the infiltrator alive for interrogation. Then she started to lower the knife, before stabbing herself in the chest. She heard the screams from both the holograms and the students. She saw her 'contact' slip away in the confusion and then the Danger Room voice stated quite cheerfully,

"Mission successful."

The students filed in looking slightly terrified.

"I needed to show you that espionage isn't all explosions and card tricks. By the way, word of warning, never play poker with Gambit. He cheats. But I digress. Sometimes the only way to complete a mission is to die. I programmed this scenario so that the only way for my contact to escape and therefore my mission to succeed was my death or mutilation to distract the guards. And if given the choice between death and capture, chose death. It's normally better in the long run."

The students shifted slightly.

"Right, the period ends in ten minutes. I'm dismissing you early. Go get lunch."

The students hurried out and she heard the whispers. She'd scared them. But it was for the best. They would need to learn what they might have to do if they joined the X-Men. Unbidden, Etana's face swam to the forefront of her mind. Sighing, she wandered out of the mansion, stopping to pick up Jamie, and walked into the cold November air. She wandered, almost as if she didn't know where she was going, but her feet took her to a black marble stone, with carved wings heading it. It was incredibly plain, not even much of an inscription. Etana had asked for it to be discreet. To name all her accomplishments would have taken up too much room. Tora turned and saw the large man walk towards her.

"Hi Nate."

"You miss her."

"Yeah. She understood better then most about Logan and everything else."

"In the short time I knew her, I liked her."

"What was your Etana like?"

Cable frowned then sat down as well, scooping Jamie up in his techno-organic arm.

"You have to understand that alternate realities can lead to…changes in those we love."

"Nate?"

"In my world, or the world I grew up in at least, Etana was the Horseman of Death, Apocalypse's most faithful servant…and his wife. I had a number of run ins with her, all resulting in my injury."

"Etana…"

"Yes. Take the Etana you knew. Turn her modesty into hubris. Turn her compassion into cruelty. Turn her into a living, breathing maniac and you still wouldn't be anywhere near."

Tora shuddered.

"I could show you. Not her, but the one survivor of the attack on the X-Mansion."

"Someone survived? But I thought it was three-thousand…"

"Yeah. Someone survived. Or something at any rate."

"Something…"

"I wouldn't say she was human anymore. Not after what Death did to her."

"What happened?"

"Her family were exterminated. She begged to be killed but she was simply scarred and injured. Then they kept her in a room alone for over thirty years. She ended up as Etana's slave. This was from a person who valued freedom so highly, she would die rather than let herself be chained. Then she ended up as Stryfe's personal slave. In the end, we rescued her but it was too late. This brilliant mind had been shattered. We do our best, but she just sits on a bed all day in her old costume and rocks backwards and forwards. And since I've met the person she used to be, I grew to hate Etana even more."

"Who was or is it?"

"I'll show you tonight. After lessons, I'll take you to see what Etana did to her."

Tora nodded and picked up Jamie from Cable's arms.

"Why do you want to show me? Really I mean."

"Because there are some questions you could answer about the person."

"So…"

"Yes. We can't get a sensible answer out of her. You may be able to help her recover."

"I'll see you after lessons."

"Yes. And Tora…?"

"Yeah Nathan?"

"I understand if you don't want to see this."

"It can't be worse than what I've gone through."

She turned and walked away before Nathan could tell her that nothing could prepare her for what he was going to show her.

* * *

><p>Phoenix frowned.<p>

"I never heard about this."

"You wouldn't have. Tora never mentioned it."

"Why?"

"You'll see."


	48. Past and Future

**Memories**

Past and Future

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Tora walked down the dark, slightly grubby corridor.

"Don't tell Stark about this. He's always going on about the future being a time of gleaming white metal and advanced robots."

Cable chuckled.

"This world isn't like that. We're almost there. I should warn you, what you are about to see is…horrific."

Tora nodded and they rounded the corner. One of Cable's soldiers nodded then did a double take.

"What the…"

She waved cheerily at him as the door opened. They stepped through into a room with a long glass window and a door. Through the window they could see the woman sitting on the bed, long, scraggily, white hair falling down her back. She was dressed in a deep aqua blue with soft silver gloves and boots. Her hands covered her face and she was rocking back and forth, crooning softly. Cable flicked a switch and the words came through, in a voice scarred by the years.

"-the wind o'er the ocean.

Breakers rolling to the coastline;

Bringing ships to harbour;

Gulls against the morning sunlight;

Flying off to freedom!"

Tora frowned slightly then gasped as the woman raised her head and let her hands fall away. Over one of the empty, bloodied eye-sockets, four parallel scars ran down her face.

"That's me?"

"Yes. That's you."

Tora reached out a hand to the glass and touched it. The other, ancient, hag-like her frowned.

"I know you're there Scott. And who's with you? Eloise?"

"What do I say Cable?"

"You chose."

"_Oui. C'est moi._"

The lined face split into a wide grin.

"It's good to see you again. But I've been having the nightmares again. Where you're all dead."

"Tell me about the nightmares."

"I'm at home. Happy, happy. Then the Black Angel comes. She…she…k-kills everyone…then she kills my babies. Kills them…then she makes me…makes me…st-stab Logan in…the heart… And I beg her 'Let me…d-die' and…and she laughs. Tears out…tears out…my cl-claws. Hands me to…to…the soldiers… They hurt me…do what only…only Logan should do. Then they…they leave me in…in the dark…for…for years… Men come… Hurt me… Then I'm chained…not allowed to walk…light hurts eyes. Then eyes…eyes torn out… hurts so bad…won't grow back… Then I go to boy…boy hurts me…even more…and then He comes…like an angel…Cable… And…and…WHO ARE YOU! WHO ARE YOU! CABLE, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!"

"Hush Tora, hush."

Cable spoke softly, carefully.

"I'm here. She's a friend, she won't hurt you."

"Everybody hurts me."

"I didn't."

"You hurt me! You leave me. Every time you say you stay, you go."

"I have work to do Tora."

"DON'T YOU DARE TRY THAT LINE!"

She slammed herself against the window and for a second, the empty eye-sockets were filled with a silver light. A pitiful noise was made as the claws tried to extend and nothing was there. The hollow metal, torn out of it's housing. Then used to gouge out the eyes. Tora could only watch as this person who looked and smelt so like her try to lash out at the window.

"The others all left me, left me alone! I call to them but they ignore me. Say I'm insane. Only one listens. Only one…"

"Only one what?"

"The others. All the others. I can hear them. They hear me. But they ignore me. Only one listens."

"Who are the others?"

Suddenly the empty eyes burned into her.

"I know that scent! You! You are the one that listens. Only you! But you are not you yet."

Tora frowned.

"What do you mean, I am not me yet?"

"You are too young. And the Song has not yet joined you."

"The Song?"

"The Song, The Song. It has kept me alive all these years. I curse it. Curse it with all of my heart."

"What is the Song?"

"The Song is…the Song is…Eloise, shouldn't you be with Luke?"

Tora pulled her head away and looked at Cable.

"Is she… Am I always like this?"

"She isn't you. That's the important thing to remember. And yes, she is always like this."

Tora sighed. She looked almost ill.

"I think I want to go home Cable. And I don't want **anyone **to know about this."

"I understand. It might look bad that in my world, you're an insane relic from the past."

"Why is my uniform different?"

"We don't know. We found her in Stryfe's quarters and she recognized my scent. We brought her back, looked after her. Managed to treat the worst of her physical injuries. But the spark, that little thing that makes you you. That was missing. And she made that uniform herself. I wasn't there when she did it, no one was. It just turned up one day, like it was meant to be."

Tora turned her head away in a hope Cable wouldn't see the tears. Tears for a woman who could not weep.

* * *

><p>Phoenix gasped.<p>

"Oh… I never knew. If I had, well, me and Scott would have been there when we were raising Nathan."

"It wouldn't have worked."

"But Tora was our friend. We should have saved her!"

"And exposed yourself to her reaction? You know how she would have behaved."

"Yes. We never would have been able to survive one of her…moments."

"So sweet of you to call them that."

"Well she sure kept better control than I did."

* * *

><p>Logan grinned when Tora entered the adult rec room.<p>

"We thought Cable had taken you off to the future."

She laughed, hating the fakeness there.

"Yeah. Cable took me to the future to meet my future self."

Everyone laughed but very few people noticed the slight redness around her eyes.

"I was at Etana's grave."

The laughter stopped as people guiltily thought back to the last time they had been to the grave. For many, it had been over a month. Whilst Etana had sacrificed herself, and been close to Logan and Tora, she had always been slightly distant to the rest. Very few people knew what she got up to when she went away on 'business', or what Nick Fury required her to do on a regular basis. Apparently it involved a lot of screaming. Perhaps only four people truly knew her. Magneto had treated the letter bearer with distrust but the fact it was Tora, who was rather open-minded about the whole 'let's enslave the rest of baseline humanity' thing, or at least didn't try and beat him up every time she met him, and who at the time was six months pregnant, definitely suggested it wasn't a trap. He wouldn't read the letter while she was there though. Actually, he'd been rather courteous and invited her to stay for a de-caff coffee but she'd declined, knowing it would lead to the whole 'Join the Brotherhood my fellow mutant, and you shall be avenged'. And she could do without that. Oddly, Fury had turned up at the funeral and he **never **went to official meetings. And Jean swore that she had seen his one good eye filled with tears. Of course, Nick denied it vehemently. All he said was 'Shadow was one damn good agent', which from him was about the greatest praise you **could **give.

* * *

><p>Phoenix sighed.<p>

"It was times like that I wished I could read her mind."

"Yes. You only broke through her barriers…twice?"

"Yes. And at both times, I was in full Phoenix mode and she wasn't exactly **sane**."


	49. Still to Come

**Memories**

Still to Come

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Tora was sitting in the corner of the attic, gazing out of the window. The official reason she was up here was to look for parts for the Danger Room. The **real **reason she was up here was because she could see the grounds and the students in them. She loved watching the younger kids playing but there was still the heartwrenching point that soon Jamie would be out there, playing with children his own age. And then after that, he'd be with the teenagers watching calmly, playing basketball, growing up and not needing her any longer. That thought hurt. But he needed her now, the tiny baby who she could see Remy throwing in the air outside, with Ororo keeping a **very **close eye on him. The others were all so protective, acting as parents as well. Just yesterday, she'd seen Jean and Scott playing with Jamie. But even with his surrogate parents, if he saw her or Logan, his arms would instantly stretch out and he would cry to be picked up. It had been so funny when Cap had come round and Jamie had blinked at him then stuck his arms out to be picked up. Then when Stark turned up, Jamie stared at him for about a minute before turning away and snuggling further into Steve's arms. At that point, Bobby had cracked a joke about paternal instinct which resulted in Jamie doing the baby pout thing. Sometimes she swore he understood every word she said. His responses seemed faster than a normal child's of his age but then that could just be mother's pride speaking. Although he did have his favourite people and places. He liked Hank and the lab, willing spending all his time there with him, until he got hungry. Then he would bawl until Hank sent her a message to come down as soon as possible. But he seemed to love being carted around in a sling over Beast's chest, little hands clutching at blue fur. And Beast seemed to like having someone to talk to who listened politely and didn't interrupt with 'What's or 'How's. According to Hank, Jamie was the best listener other than Reed Richards, and even he could be trying as he would always insist on pointing out all the mistakes as Hank talked.

She stood up and scooped up the equipment. She had an appointment with Sue who wanted to talk baby talk with her. And to see if some of Franklin's old toys could be given to Jamie. Although Hank, Logan and Tora had all vetoed the Nuclear-Powered-Rock-a-Bye Crib that Reed had invented. There were some of Reed's inventions that were just **questionable**. What sane man invents a machine to attack a cosmic entity? She entered the room and stuck her head into the space where Hank was lying on his back, carefully taking the mechanisms apart.

"Got the parts Hank."

The blue hand reached out.

"I really appreciate this Tora."

"Do you want me to go and get a sandwich or eight?"

"Tora, you are a veritable life-saver. Not to mention your son is a brilliant listener and I may be forced to kidnap him to have someone listening to my plans. I believe he may have a brilliant scientific career ahead of him."

She laughed at that.

"You and Stark both. He saw Jamie messing about with one of the kids' phone and immediately tried to explain how it worked. I had to point out he is only four months old."

"But you have been playing him the Mozart CD I got for you?"

"Among other things…"

"You've been playing him Queen again, haven't you?"

"Er…yes."

"Tora, what are we going to do with you?"

* * *

><p>Phoenix laughed.<p>

"I remember walking in to find 'Who Wants to Live Forever' being played on repeat. And Jamie just listening to it. Well, it **looked** like he was listening to it."

* * *

><p>Tora finished making the sandwiches as the coffee brewed. One thing she had missed while she was pregnant was coffee. Along with training and being allowed out on her own after a certain point. Kurt, Piotr or Logan ended up walking with her down the road to buy essentials when the others had used them up. Which <strong>completely <strong>defeated the point of her walking down there. She balanced the coffee mugs in one hand and Hank's sandwiches in the other, ready to begin the perilous journey downstairs to the Danger Room. Halfway down, Kurt had the misfortune to bump into her and ended up with the sandwiches. By the time she was there with Hank, she realized Remy would be looking for her, as it was time to feed Jamie. Managing to give her excuse to Hank, she hurried upstairs to find Remy charging leaves and blowing them away so they exploded about a metre away from him. Jamie was blinking owlishly, wondering what the pretty explosions were and forgetting that he was hungry. It was almost as good as the funny girl's paff-paffs. Then he was scooped up and heard 'Thanks Remy', a 'No problem' and then was being taken inside, away from all the pretty lights! He opened his mouth to scream and then realized he was hungry. The pretty lights didn't matter as much then.

* * *

><p>Jean laughed.<p>

"I didn't expect you to suddenly change perspective like that. But that was so…**weird **being a baby again."

"I thought you'd appreciate it."

* * *

><p>Jamie wasn't really aware of what was going on. He'd been warm and safe in his cot, snuggled to his bamfy-doll when the bangs and crashes had started, waking him up. Then hands he knew had picked him up and he'd been placed in his carrycot. The person he trusted moved fast, running, bouncing him about uncomfortably. He started crying and then he heard Mama scream, a scream he'd never heard before. She was in pain, and he saw her lying on the ground, leaking red-stuff. Dada lay there as well, along with Uncle Kurt. He saw her head raise and her pretty-ill face register sorrow, then she collapsed back onto Dada. He saw Uncle Peter holding Auntie Kitty, both against a wall with something through them. What was happening? Then he'd left the house and Tante Eloise had continued running and when she stopped she'd hugged him close and started crying, but he didn't understand why she was crying because she'd been so happy earlier with Uncle Luke. Then he heard a voice demanding the 'Runt's Pup' and then Tante Eloise had pushed him away with her movey-without-touchy trick and then he'd heard her scream.<p>

Jamie started screaming and then Mama was there, warm arms cradling him, hushing him because 'it's just a nightmare _chéri_, just a nightmare', but Mama can't understand because **it's still happening**, only it's in the background and it's a different Jamie. Then the thread is severed and he was able to relax and believe it really was 'just a nightmare'. And in another world, Victor Creed savoured his final victory over the Runt.

* * *

><p>Phoenix froze.<p>

"Such an early manifestation…"

"Yes."

"But then they were all like that."


	50. Angel Day

**Memories**

Angel Day

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

"I'm worried Hank. Jamie's acting…oddly. It's like he'll scream when he should be fine and he's calm when he should be scared. It's like he's in a different world."

Hank frowned.

"Maybe he is Tora. According to Reed, a link has been opened between a number of different realities. But most of the realities have a few things in common. You and Logan are together and have a son. There are about three where that hasn't happened or isn't entirely obvious. Although 1610 has got Logan's son by an unknown mother so it is possible that he could be Jamie."

"An **unknown **mother?"

"Well, Logan is extremely mysterious in that reality. Er…no one is entirely sure who he is."

"And in this world?"

"Only Etana did…"

"Which is now the same as nobody is entirely sure who he is. So you and Reed Richards go around poking your noses into other realities, think my son is responsible and don't **bother** to tell me what is happening?"

"Yes, that's sort of it."

She sighed and then unstrapped the armband. She needed these check-ups to make sure her healing was keeping up now it was back at full strength.

"Er…Tora…?"

"What is it Hank?"

"Brian Braddock got in touch last night. They…well…Excalibur has…well…"

"Hank, spit it out."

"They've found Etana's diaries. Going back centuries. They've sent them over to you, as Etana did will you all her personal papers and so on."

"They read them!"

"No. All papers have been left as they were. Also, none of Excalibur can read Hebrew. Tora, Etana kept a diary since she was eleven, an impressive feat given the time she was brought up in."

"She told me about that. Her uncle believed she needed to be useful, as she wasn't going to be a wife or mother."

"Her uncle…"

"Believed she had the potential to be something special. He taught her to read and write and told her to live up to her father's ideals. She said sometime she thought he never saw her as Etana but as Eitan, her father. Achav and Eitan were extremely close as boys. Her aunt Mara was never as welcoming."

"Her uncle was entirely baseline I assume?"

"He was. Her father was apparently identical to Warren in terms of mutation, and possibly that Guthrie kid."

"I did notice their X-Gene was almost identical in DNA terms."

"That's the Cheyarafim for you. Look, Hank, when you get the diaries, send them up to me."

"You're going to read them?"

"I'm going to burn them."

* * *

><p>Jean gasped.<p>

"All that history…"

"All those personal outpourings. Jean, Etana guarded her diaries with greater care than Irene Adler guarded hers."

"But…"

"It was respect for Etana's wishes."

* * *

><p>Tora dropped the match onto the pile of papers. The papyrus scrolls caught first, ancient ink faded away. Then the paper notebooks and bulky vellum tomes. All Etana's life, recorded in beautiful calligraphy and in a steady hand, burning over the grave. Smoke swirled and for a second, Tora thought she saw a girl in the smoke, a girl standing excited as she prepared for her Bat Mitzvah. The guilt Tora felt. She had read one scroll, read the diary of an eleven-year-old Etana, read her dreams and fears. She knew that Etana had wanted to be like Deborah, that her aunt had beaten her for voicing that wish. Read about Etana's dreams, about her wish to find her mother who she had never been told about. About her wish to have black hair and no fur and to have normal eyes. All a child's hopes, so contrasting with the woman Tora knew. Where there had been poise, there was nervousness. Where there had been strength, there was shyness. But there were still a few comments that showed that it was Etana. Including a few references to the Master. The Master who had brought Etana and her father's body home. The Master who had only said 'Her name is Etana' before leaving into the night.<p>

The final piece of fluttering ash fell to Earth. Tora turned and walked away, not noticing the words written there.

Maybe if she had, everything would have turned out differently.

* * *

><p>Phoenix frowned.<p>

"I can't read Hebrew."

"It doesn't matter what it says."

"It does!"

"I'll tell you later."

* * *

><p>Logan frowned. An extra few lines had been added to Etana's epitaph. Unfortunately they were in Hebrew. A low cough made him turn.<p>

"Hey Chuck. Didn't you have difficulty getting out here?"

"Nothing I couldn't handle."

The paraplegic reached out a hand and ran it over the inscription.

"It's been a long time since I last needed to read Hebrew."

"What does it say?"

"Here lies Etana, daughter of Eitan, son of Caleb of the tribe of Judah."

"She…tribe?"

"One of the twelve tribes of Israel. Don't you **know **that Logan?"

"I did. It's come back now. But at the time? No. Why are her father and grandfather's names there?"

"Because I think Etana was proud of her heritage and someone knew how proud she was of it."

"Who?"

"Who had access to Etana's diaries?"

"Tora?"

"I think this was a apology for reading the diary."

Logan glanced at the slightly wobbly letters but knew how heartfelt the message was.

* * *

><p>Jean sighed.<p>

"She felt so guilty for reading **three **pages."

"It was private."

"It was **three pages**."

* * *

><p><em><strong><span>A.N.<span>** I did have the Hebrew translation for Etana's diaries but unfortunately, the fanfiction and my word processing document can't format the right to left stlye of writing and invert the symbols, scrambling the meaning._


	51. Shades of Blue

**Memories**

Shades of Blue

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Tora sat bolt upright, the last of the nightmare slipping away. It had been a mix of past, present and an odd distorted universe, where things were different and she was running wild in the woods, searching for something precious. And then a voice had spoken out 'Heal me, let me join with you'. Then something had burned her mind, trying to break through the barriers thrown up around her.

She got up, slipping on her bathrobe as she did so. Logan was breathing steadily. No nightmares for **him **tonight. She pushed the door into Jamie's room open and sat in the chair next to the cot. He looked so peaceful and quiet. It would be his first Christmas soon. Christmas was good. She'd been rescued just after Christmas. The Christmas after that she had revealed her relationship with Logan and Etana had come to them. Last Christmas she had come home. Ergo, Christmases were good. She placed her hand on Jamie's chest and watched as a hand curled around her index finger and the soul band on it. Her other hand went up to the slender chain and the stone hanging from it. In the year and a half she had worn it, the necklace had never warmed. Looking at Jamie, she sighed, Somehow, she thought Etana would have loved to help with him. Suddenly, shockingly, an image came to mind. Etana rocking Jamie and cooing softly. But it was so **real**. Like Etana was actually sitting in the chair opposite with Jamie. Then the silver eyes looked up and she spoke.

"Don't worry. You'll understand soon enough."

Tora shook her head and Etana disappeared. Even the scent faded away. That was just plain weird.

* * *

><p>Phoenix sighed.<p>

"She should have come straight to us."

"She was working eighteen hours straight and having interrupted sleep. She thought it was a hallucination."

"Good point. Another reason I decided never to have kids. That and Nathan and Rachel were quite a lot of hassle."

"Tell me about it."

* * *

><p>"HANK MCCOY, YOU LEAVE THAT LAB <strong>RIGHT NOW<strong>!"

"No…"

"Right then, I'm coming in."

"NO!"

Tora ran her claws down the length of the door, breaking in.

"Right Hank, I need to see what's wrong **now**."

"It's not pretty…"

"Come out from under the table **this instant**. According to Tessa, you ran away just after she touched you."

A blue fur covered hand extended from under the lab table. A very **pawlike** hand.

"Hank…?"

Beast straightened up, stumbling slightly with his new build.

"Hank… You're beautiful."

He shook his head.

"I'm an animal Tora."

"No Hank! If anyone is the animal, it's me. You weren't here, but when I arrived, I ate with my bare hands. I lived on instinct alone. You're the most human of all of us."

Hank buried his face in his paws.

"I can't even hold a pen anymore."

"So what Hank? You can dictate and we can write. You're still one of the eight smartest people on the planet."

"Am I though? I'm devolving Tora. Going further back down the evolutionary tree."

"Hank, you are an idiot. A very smart idiot. Your senses are almost as good as mine and Logan's, you're almost as flexible as Kurt, you're stronger than most. Hank, you're not devolving, you're evolving."

"But I'm not **me **anymore."

"Right."

Tora walked over to the comm-link and flicked it on.

"Logan, can you bring Jamie down to the Medi-Lab?"

Hank sat in uncomfortable silence while Tora glared at him for being an idiot. The doors slid open but stopped half-way, Tora's forced entry having broken them. Logan froze.

"Hank, I can tell you, ya smell a lot better than ya used to."

Tora glowered at him and snatched Jamie before holding him out to Hank. At the sight of his favourite cuddle-toy, the baby reached out his hands.

"Bew!"

Hank froze.

"Bew?"

"UNCA BEW!"

Then Hank reached out and Jamie snuggled into the rich royal blue fur.

"See Hank. Jamie still knows you're you. And if anyone doesn't, then they aren't worth the atoms they're made from."

Hank smiled slightly, displaying sharp canine teeth as Jamie cuddled his favourite 'Uncle'. He was happily spending more and more time with Hank than anyone else. He would sit and watch as Hank did experiments and had taken to playing with the test-tubes when no one was watching. Hank was planning to introduce him to Amadeus Cho and wondered if Jamie could be the next Reed Richards. At any rate, he seemed quick.

* * *

><p>Phoenix laughed happily.<p>

"It took Jamie to show Hank he was the same person after all those changes."

"Sometimes children can see with one eye what adults miss with a thousand."

"Yes."

* * *

><p>Tora sat in silence and watched Kitty and Piotr. They were dancing around each other, both afraid to make a move. Why couldn't they be like Luke and Eloise who had admitted they fancied each other like mad and were now going out? Piotr had taken to painting Kitty and she seemed fine with modelling, it was just any conversation about a relationship and they would both make excuses and leave. Tora was in favour of locking them in a room together until they admitted they loved each other. It would be so much easier on her nose. They were throwing out enough pheromones for her to be able to sense. Sighing she got up and walked away, passing the mansion's other 'problem couple', Remy and Rogue were either fighting, just friends or dating. Yet another couple she wanted to lock in a room with a power dampener. Actually, that may not be a bad idea… Rogue really wasn't that fond of her powers.<p>

She passed some students and heard the whispers. Of course there were whispers. Unfortunately for the students, Mrs Logan had very, **very **good hearing.

"_Excusez-moi_, but I ask you not to make assumptions about my married life, _merci beacoup_."

She left students blushing and walked along to Jean's office.

"I can't keep up Jean. You want me to teach three different subjects at five different levels, counsel six students, look after Jamie and act as mission controller whilst also training two hours a day. I'm good Jean, but not that good."

"I'm sorry Tora, we're all rushed."

"Give Gambit half my Espionage classes. He can deal with the theft side of things. He only has Projectiles to teach. And Rogue can take over Sabotage if I train her. And I'll teach French and Japanese, but not German, Russian, Spanish and eight other languages."

"I'll speak to Scott about it."

"Thanks Jean. Oh, and we're having a girls night in in the rec room. No men allowed and I've got a student to babysit."

"So who's coming?"

"Me, Kitty, 'Ro, Betsy, Tessa I think, maybe Danielle…"

"But not Frost?"

"I asked her but apparently she has better things to do. Hank's helping her with her secondary mutation."

"I'll be there."

* * *

><p>Phoenix laughed.<p>

"Those girl nights kept me sane."

"You and the rest of them Jean."


	52. Gazing

**Memories**

Gazing

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Jean closed the door and collapsed onto the rec room couch.

"Whoever arranged this, I owe them my life."

"_Merci beacoup_. It is nice to be appreciated."

"**You **planned this Tora?"

"I needed a night off."

"So did everyone."

"So what are we doing first?"

"You tell me Rogue."

The green-eyed woman considered.

"Ah think we should revert ta childhood and play some stupid games."

"Like Truth or Dare!"

A chorus of excited voices from people who spent all day being responsible adults made it obvious Kitty's suggestion was a good one.

"What's Truth or Dare?"

Except for that. Everyone turned to look at Tora.

"We spin a bottle. The person it lands on chooses to answer a question truthfully or to do a dare. No backing out and once you've completed it, you get to spin the bottle and come up with the next question or dare."

Tora smiled slightly.

"Maybe."

Kitty grinned.

"Now where's a bottle?"

The game soon ended up in ruins, with embarrassing secrets brought to life. After Tora came up with several humiliating questions, when it was Kitty's turn she gulped.

"Dare."

Tora smiled. She'd trapped her.

"I want you to go downstairs, into the lounge, and kiss the man you love."

Kitty glared at her but everyone was watching, so she dropped through the floor. When, after ten minutes, she still hadn't returned, Jean leant over and hugged Tora.

"Finally…"

The laughter ran out through the room. And then Tora's vision blurred and she was sitting in the rec room, only Etana was sitting on the chair opposite, in the middle of some story.

"Well I **told **Leo, I said 'Look Leo, this isn't going to work. I know, I have wings.' But he didn't listen to me and I ended up rescuing him when he jumped off the wall. And then it was all 'Oh, Etana, you were right all along, please forgive me'… Tora? Tora?"

Etana slid off her chair and clasped Tora's hands.

"This isn't a dream or a hallucination. It's just the beginning. I'm afraid it's going to get worse before it gets better. You see…"

"Tora? Are you alright?"

Jean was shaking Tora's arm and Etana faded away.

"I'm fine. …Just a little tired."

* * *

><p>Phoenix reached out to her face. She looked identical to her, so unlike the other woman, whose mask had distorted the one uncovered side of her face until she was almost unrecognisable. Maybe she shouldn't have forced her to take on the burden that had been in a single moment's indecision that resulted in immortality. Jean still felt the guilt of forcing her companion's mind to accept it's unearthly lodger.<p>

* * *

><p>Tora finished placing the final decorations on the tree. All the students were either at home or in the Eyrie that Etana had willed the Xavier Institute. The X-Men were on a low risk mission and Tora was at home alone. She stepped off the ladder and smiled. A surprise for the others, with spirits low as Charles was with Lilandra on the Imperial Centre. Walking upstairs, Tora laughed at the thought of Logan's present hidden under the Danger Room, the only place he <strong>wouldn't <strong>be able to tear up in search of it. Laughing at his not-so subtle questions to find out what she had got him, Tora walked upstairs. In her room, she placed Jamie on the floor and started wrapping the presents, stopping to place a sticker on his head and laughing at the look on his face. She leant over, pulled it off and planted a kiss to his forehead. A noise downstairs made her laugh.

"_Papa_ is home Jamie. Let _Maman _take you down to see him."

The baby gurgled in her arms as she walked downstairs. She was about halfway down when her nostrils flared. It wasn't Logan, or any of the X-Men. She knew that scent! She knew it! Then a blast destroyed the stairs, and, unable to catch anything with Jamie in her arms, Tora fell, managing to twist so she wouldn't land on him. A foot was planted on her stomach as she lay winded, running a check on her vitals. Heartbeat? Fine, only a few bpm above average. Breathing? Yes, although minor diaphragm spasms could lead to hiccups. Jamie? On that thought she bucked upwards, trying to displace her unseen assailant. Her arms were suddenly pinned to her sides.

"Now, you see, I thought only the little maniac's boy could help me, but you are **so** much stronger. Of course, it has not reached full strength, but you have more control. How else would you have locked it away all these years? I will have to take you both, in case you do not survive the process. And you will obey me, if your son is threatened, yes?"

She snarled and tried to get the leverage to launch upwards.

"Ah, ah, ah. No we don't."

An all to familiar silver box was lifted into the air. She struggled further, trying to get out from under him. Then her brain howled and she felt it go into shutdown, screaming all the way.

"Jamie…"

The man smiled and got up. He picked up the baby and placed him in the chest cavity. Then he slung Tora over one shoulder, the extra forty kilos from the adamantium mattering little to him. He walked out of the front door and stepped onto the private jet.

"Where to sir?"

"Latveria."

* * *

><p>Phoenix shuddered.<p>

"Evil geniuses are so…**evil**."

"I am going to pretend you never said that. It was either incredibly deep or incredibly stupid. I wonder which one it was? And yes, that was a rhetorical question."

* * *

><p>Hank frowned.<p>

"Incoming call from the Avengers. And the Fantastic Four."

Scott set the Blackbird onto autopilot and spun his chair round. Hank accepted both calls and soon had Reed Richards and the entire Avengers roster yelling at him.

"…letting them stay alone, **completely **undefended, with his mutation…"

"…end of the world…"

"…unless we agree to his demands…"

"ONE AT A TIME PLEASE!"

"I think it would be better Steve, if we just showed them."

"Fine Reed. This was just broadcasted on all channels."

The screen went fuzzy and then Dr Doom stood there, resplendent in his armour.

"Citizens of the world and my soon-to-be subjects. Listen well for your master is calling. Doom has a mutant with the ability to see alternate realities…"

"JAMIE!"

"Shut up Logan! Listen to the megalomaniac."

"…unless the world leaders surrender to Doom by midnight tonight, I will tear the veil between the worlds open. And to prove it, I show you my captive. Her…"

"Her?"

"…should recognize her."

The camera panned, revealing Tora hooked up to some evil looking device, her head lolling to one side. Doom pulled out a silver control box and flicked a switch. As they watched, Tora shook her head slowly then jerked upright.

"JAMIE!"

The footage cut off there.

"But… But…"

"We are going to Latveria **RIGHT NOW!**"

"Agreed. The X-Men don't leave one of their own in danger."

* * *

><p>Jean shuddered. The number of times Doom threatened to destroy the world was impressive. He never gave up, never seemed down for long. Like the proverbial bad penny, he kept turning up.<p> 


	53. Shattered Song

**Memories**

Shattered Song

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

_**A.N. **__At last, I've included the 'Song'. But still no major hints as to what it is! What can I say? I'm evil._

* * *

><p>Tora tugged at the metal bonds around her wrists, cursing Doom's foresight as to pin her fingers straight so she couldn't extend her claws. Because the gaps for her claws to slip out of were in her proximal phalanx, she needed to have her hands in fists to extend them. And when they were out, in fists her hands must remain. She tugged again but was forced to admit she couldn't break free. At least she could see Jamie, sitting afraid but unhurt, watching her with his blue eyes that were so like Logan's. Then Doom was blocking her view.<p>

"I can't believe that imbecile Beast wasted all his resources on your son, when you are **so **much more powerful. Of course, he is no match to the genius of Doom."

Tora blinked once before slowly raising her head, aiming and spitting, hitting Doom in one eye. He cuffed her and she felt a small flash of pleasure at the slight dent he made in his armour. That evaporated when he walked over to Jamie.

"Disrespect the personage of Doom one more time and your son makes the sacrifice. You see, when I tear open the veil between the worlds, you will die as universes collide."

She tugged hard on the bonds again before looking up at Doom.

"I have killed a woman who threatened my son. I would not hesitate to kill again."

"So now your true colours show through. Do you 'friends' know? Or are you just a hidden murderer."

She growled, a low, impressive snarl from the base of her chest. Prolonged exposure to an angry Sabretooth and a grumpy Wolverine had given her a good base for her snarl. Doom smiled.

"I think we have exchanged enough pleasantries. The world leaders have only an hour until they surrender to Doom. In the likely event they refuse, I need to be able to start immediately. Therefore your latent mutation must be kick-started."

Then he flicked a switch and the machine hummed to life. She screamed as the barriers around her mind were torn into and then suddenly, inexplicably, memories came rushing to her, memories of lives that were not her own, but were being lived by her. She felt her mind, her last sanctuary, her safe haven, becoming embroiled with countless others in a mishmash of minds, thoughts, hopes and dreams. A mind never brushed by another was now being forced to crash into other, near-identical minds. It was a case of the proverbial unstoppable cannonball and immovable post. Neither could give, neither would give. She knew what Doom meant when he said it would kill her. And then she was pulled away from the others, although she could still brush against them. Reaching out, in a morbid curiosity, she found Etana standing in front of her, head thrown back laughing, smelling suspiciously of Captain America and not even pretending to look embarrassed. They were in the mansion and Etana grinned at Tora and winked.

"Understand now?"

"Yes."

Had she just made another her speak? She must have done as Etana laughed.

"Is that the reality where I died?"

"Yes."

"Well I assure you I am not a ghost."

Then she was flicked away and was standing in chains, with Logan crouching next to her. They were wearing military style fatigues and men were hurrying around them. Then she heard the words.

"I assure you, Weapons X and X-ii will get the Senator and his family out alive, with no survivors of the kidnappers."

"They're mutants."

"They are animals. Highly trained, and in the case of X-ii, highly intelligent animals, but with no real knowledge of humanity."

She tried to speak but only a low snarl came out. She couldn't talk. Or rather, as the memories came to her, she didn't. Not since she was beaten for answering back. Better to be a dumb animal than a prisoner. She tilted her head at Logan, who gave a wolfish grin. Then a hand pulled her face around.

"Wolverine and Tigre, you know the drill. Tigre, get the hostages out. Then you can fight."

Unable to help herself, she whined.

"You know what happens when Wolverine is on hostage management."

"You treat them like humans."

"It's just my little way. Of you go pets. If you're good, I'll let you loose in the grounds together overnight. And we know how you like that. They seem ashamed to mate in front of the guards you see. We're working on a way to remedy that."

Then he ruffled Logan's hair like he was a dog and stroked her behind her ear. Then they were dragged outside and pointed towards a large house. The chains were unloosed and they moved swiftly and stealthily, using their improvised sign language that was two parts signing and three parts stance. Low sounds emphasized their points.

Then she moved again and again, seeing snippets of lives, moving so fast that she couldn't register them. She couldn't stop, couldn't find her way home. And then a baby crying brought her home. Jamie was screaming and Doom was looking at him in distaste.

"He's hungry."

"You think I'll let you near him?"

"He'll cry until I feed him."

"You spoil him."

"He needs to eat."

"I have a better idea. I shall simply sedate him."

She suppressed the snarl.

"Won't work."

"Why not?"

"Healing factor."

Doom frowned then pressed a button on his console and spoke into a microphone.

"Bring baby food."

"He's not quite on solids yet."

"Bring bottles."

"He doesn't drink baby formula."

The look of horror in Doom's eyes would have been funny if the situation wasn't so dire.

Then crashes could be heard and a cloud of sulphurous purplish-blue smoke appeared over Jamie who was gone when the smoke cleared. Tora smiled. The X-Men were here. Then Doom pressed a button and started screaming.

"Because you **dare **attack the personage of Doom, your world shall end!"

Then her mind was being torn into shreds as all the other hers were pulled towards her, pressing down on her shields. Then something small and cool flitted into the burning centre of her mind. A soft almost-voice ran in her head.

_Let me help you._

_What are you?_

_I am the Shattered Song. Let me help you._

_What do you require in return?_

_What makes you so sure I require something in return?_

_Nothing is given freely in this world._

_Then yes, I require your help as well. I am Shattered. With your gift, I can be healed._

_What do you want me to do?_

_Give me head room. Let me stay in your mind until I am healed._

_Why do you need to be there?_

_My sibling shattered me through the multiverse when I oppose her reign of terror._

_How do I know you are telling the truth?_

Images flashed through her mind of a protector, a scholar. Who was forced to fight but broken by a dark force. Then all the power spread across realities.

_I AM the Truth._

_How will you help me?_

_Like this._

Then barriers, stronger than anything else were launched up around her, keeping a tiny door for her to pass through as she wished, to see the other realities. But the worst of the deluge was over and then hands were slapping her face.

"WAKE UP! WAKE UP!"

She moaned and shook her head.

"Tora, please wake up!"

She slowly opened her eyes. A tiny part of her mind was conscious of an intruder, sitting quietly in a corner, a little burning lamp. Then she sense rather than saw a tiny firefly slip through the door and join the candle, so it burned all the brighter. Then Eloise slapped her again.

"Wake up you _idioteé_!"

"I'm awake."

Then suddenly Hank was carefully checking her pupils and forcing a thermometer in her mouth.

"I'm fine. Get me out of this thing."

Then Logan caught her as she fell.

"Don't you **dare** get kidnapped ever again!"

She wasn't able to think of a sarcastic remark. She was just so relieved to be with her family again. Then she became aware of Hank trying to take her pulse.

"I'm fine."

He frowned then continued to check her responses, and various other things. She chikted out her claws and placed them on his forehead.

"I tell you, I'm fine."

"Doom really was stupid this time. Thinking you were the one with the multiverse perception."

Tora didn't say anything and Kurt's mouth dropped open.

"Are you…? You…? Oh…"

He blinked a few times then Scott crouched slightly to look Tora in the eye.

"You mean Doom is right?"

She wasn't able to talk so she simply nodded. She heard Hank drop a thermometer.

"Oh my stars and garters…"

* * *

><p>Phoenix laughed.<p>

"Oh, the tests Hank and Reed did on her. It was brilliant! Then she marched out because Reed was treating her as a subject, not a person."

"It did wonders for his bedside manner though…"

"Good point."


	54. Strange Visitations

**Memories**

Strange Visitations

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Tora carefully lowered herself into the stream of data. Thoughts, feelings and memories all washed over her. She frowned, trying to pluck the reality out of thin air. Then it was there and Etana was grinning and the other her budged up to allow her into her mind.

_Hello Tora._

_Hello Tora._

Psychic laughter bubbled as the two minds melded together.

"Hello Etana."

"Which one are you?"

"Tora."

"Ha, ha. I mean really."

"I'm the other one."

"What other one!"

"Your other one."

"Yes, but which other one?"

"There are more than me?"

"Put it this way, when Doom ripped your mind to bits, all of you got the perception."

"Oh…"

"And I assume you're here to ask me a pressing question on which the fate of the world depends."

"Well, not exactly. What should I get Logan for his birthday?"

"Oh. One of **those** questions."

"What do you mean?"

"A difficult one."

And back on her bed at the mansion, a single tear slid down Tora's face.

* * *

><p>Jean laughed.<p>

"Oh yes. Etana could advise on the fate of the world easily enough. But ask her for present ideas and she would struggle for ideas for ages."

"Didn't Jubilee do that, just to annoy her?"

"Yes. It was rather funny."

"Funny for you."

* * *

><p>Jean shuddered slightly as Tora went past. For some reason, Phoenix went wild whenever Tora was nearby. It had started after the Doom incident. Each time, the feeling had escalated, getting stronger with each passing day. It wasn't a <strong>bad<strong> feeling as such, more just one of pleasant surprise, like she hadn't seen Tora in years after hearing she had died of some sort of illness. Jean just put it down to Tora's minor personality shift, making Phoenix think of another avatar. Since the kidnapping, Tora sometimes shifted in personality, never too drastically but enough to suggest there was someone else at the steering wheel. At times like this, Jean wished she could read Tora's mind. That and she'd heard her whispering when she was sleeping on the way back about 'the Song'. Whether it was just nonsense or something more, Jean didn't know, but she intended to find out. Then she heard the screams and ran towards them, Tora joining her shortly. They charged out to the grounds, ran to the lake and stopped. A huge orange meteorite had landed in the lake. As they watched, the rock changed to neon orange goo, which twisted into an almost-human figure. A low voice, made by the goo rippling, rang out.

"I am His High Imperial Majesty Xixswalstar; Lord of Sareel, Herald of the K'meer Empire, Heir to the Legacy of Galactus, Ender of the Karmari People, Destroyer of the Periman Empire, High Admiral of the Most Glorious Imperial Fleet, High Lord of Perima, Speaker of the Imperial Council, Arch-Duke of Emeril, Purge of the Phoenos, Second Son of His Most High Imperiax Elstvalmer; Emperor of the K'Meer People, Leader of the Three Free Peoples. I come in peace. Where can a guy get a drink around here?"

Tora blinked twice before running away to prevent her laughter from causing some sort of diplomatic incident.

"Er, can you repeat that? I didn't quite catch your name. I am Cyclops, leader of the X-Men."

"I am His High Imperial Majesty Xixswalstar; Lord of Sareel, Herald of the K'meer Empire, Heir to the Legacy of Galactus, Ender of the Karmari People, Destroyer of the Periman Empire, High Admiral of the Most Glorious Imperial Fleet, High Lord of Perima, Speaker of the Imperial Council, Arch-Duke of Emeril, Purge of the Phoenos, Second Son of His Most High Imperiax Elstvalmer; Emperor of the K'Meer People, Leader of the Three Free Peoples,."

"Can you say it again, only slower?"

"Just call me Prince Xixswalstar. And please tell me this planet has alcoholic beverages."

"Er, yes it does…"

"Good. I'm parched."

Tora came back, hiccupping slightly. The next bit caused her to run away again, laughing.

"I really, **really** need to get drunk. I sort of ran away from home."

"Home being?"

"Meer'K, the most beautiful world in the universe, where the golden skies are graced by the blue sun."

"Er…"

"Look, I just got fed up of fighting with the Skrulls and Kree all the time. So I told Father I'm taking a holiday."

"Er…"

"This is a nice peaceful planet, isn't it?"

Tora, who had been walking back, ran away again, laughing her head off.

"Er, not exactly…"

"Wait a second. This is Earth, isn't it?"

"Yep."

"Oh… _birstx_."

"Er…"

"This is the world with all the insane superpowered people who saved the universe over the whole M'Kaan business, isn't it?"

"Er… yes. That was us. As in the people here, now."

"You saved the universe? I shake you… wait a second; my translator is on the blink again. What's a hand?"

"This."

Scott waved a hand around. The alien didn't seem to be a threat, actually being slightly amusing. Tora had come back and seemed able to not laugh for the rest of the encounter.

"Oh. What's the use of that? Our plasma bodies can do so much more."

A slight snort from Logan made Xixswalstar turn.

"Oh, a berserker warrior!"

"Er…"

"All berserker warriors have the red plasma."

"It's called blood doofus."

"Doofus- one of idiotic stupidity. You will play for that insult, small human male."

"Oh, stop the macho posturing Logan."

"Tora!"

"Look, he's an advanced alien. Do not antagonize him."

"The little woman speaks sense."

Tora turned round and raised an eyebrow.

"I am not little. It's a problem caused by adamantium implantation into a teenage skeleton."

"Adamantium- a virtually indestructible metal alloy. Cool."

"Please tell me he did not say cool."

"He did."

Then the goo started moving, slowly changing into a figure, which solidified. An imposing man about seven foot tall, with neon orange hair and still slightly gooey eyes.

"Since you poor carbon based life forms were obviously dazzled by my good looks, I have adopted a form more suitable for your environment."

"Is this guy for real?"

"Oh, he's for real. Lilandra told us about the K'Meer, remember."

Blank looks greeted Tora's remark.

"The K'Meer are a race of warriors who believe that battle is a holy rite. The Empire believes it should always be at war and K'Meer nobility must make a certain number of kills based on their social status before they become a man. For example, a K'Meer of the lowest caste or any non-K'Meer citizen must make one kill. A K'Meer Imperial Heir must kill the require twenty of a normal High Prince, but also lead an attack on a planet. Look, it's complicated. You should have been listening to Lilandra."

"Oh."

"Excuse me, but would I be able to stay here for a while? It appears my navigation system has shorted out."

All eyes turned to Scott who froze.

"Well, I suppose it **is** Christmas…"

* * *

><p>The two women burst out laughing.<p>

"What's going on?"

They turned and both perked up.

"Xixy just turned up."

"You mean His Most High Imperiax Xixswalstar, Emperor of the K'Meer People, Lord of the Gate, Leader of the Three Free Peoples, He Who Fought The Chaos, Lord of Sareel, Herald of the K'meer Empire, Heir to the Legacy of Galactus, Ender of the Karmari People, Destroyer of the Periman Empire, High Admiral of the Most Glorious Imperial Fleet, High Lord of Perima, Speaker of the Imperial Council, Arch-Duke of Emeril, Purge of the Phoenos, Second Son of His Most High Imperiax Elstvalmer, Emperor of the K'Meer People and Father of His Most High Imperiax Makastarval, Emperor of the K'Meer People, Leader of the Three Free People…?"

"Yes, that Xixy. Death, how's Reave? And the others?"

"Reave is coping well. I've put him in charge of Earthly characters. I'm not certain if Norrin Radd, Teddy Altman and a few others like Marr-vell should be included there…"

"Let them go where they want to go."

"Now I never thought of that Phoenix… Congratulations on doing your job. I should mention, the other Phoenix avatars are petitioning to have transfer to the White Hot Room."

"No."

"Come on…"

"Are you just here to talk business?"

"No. I'm here to join the party."


	55. Healing Song

**Memories**

Healing Song

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

"He's an idiot."

"He's a guest."

"He's an **alien**."

"So is Lilandra."

"Yes, but Lilandra isn't an arrogant lump of orange goo."

"Is that a bit of speciesism I hear Logan?"

"He's orange goo!"

"And one of our students goes by the name of 'Glob'. Logan, if he picked anywhere else to land, people would run screaming, unless it was the Baxter Building where people saunter out, still chatting whilst they wait for Reed to notice or the Avengers Mansion, where Stark would blast him senseless."

Eloise sniggered slightly. Since the Doom Incident, she had started training as an X-Man as Tora more often than not was in another world, having some 'intelligent conversations'. But you could never be quite certain if she was merely concentrating on some long thought process or actually having a conversation with another version of her. Therefore, as Bobby had learned the hard way, running up to her and saying 'Who's Logan's pretty pet kitty?' was a short road to being knocked unconscious and dragged down three flights of stair to Hank, at which point he was well and truly concussed. No one else decided to make cat jokes in her earshot. It was difficult to believe that Tora and Bobby were the same age. Whilst Bobby was carefree and rather immature, Tora often acted rather world-weary and her eyes were incredibly old. The only difference came in classes, when Bobby ruled his Accounting class (Accounting? What twisted person made **Bobby **teach **Accounting**?) with a fist of steel, often freezing fidgeters to their seats and Tora's Language classes were normally full of laughter. However, that may have been a result of the students who took the time to learn the language, normally heard her muttering under her breath about a colleague who had annoyed her (cough *Bobby* cough) and she did just to reward the students who paid attention. The Espionage lessons were going well, with the students **almost **up to SHIELD standard. Fury had come over one day to get the paperwork about signing off an entire SHIELD squadron and allowing the Avengers to attack another country to rescue her and ended up watching. He had shrugged then asked Tora if she was interested in becoming a SHIELD training instructor. She had laughed.

"You asked Etana **exactly **the same thing, didn't you? Well my answer is just the same as hers."

"You don't agree with our gung-ho attitude and were a member of the Brotherhood of the Shield for decades so would rather stick with them?"

"Almost. Just no suffices."

And Fury had went off wondering how on earth Tora Logan had known he'd offered Etana a position in SHIELD at the end of the Second World War. And Tora had relayed the memory of his face to another Tora, who told Etana who laughed quite happily before disappearing again, to return three hours later humming happily and smelling of the Avenger's Mansion.

* * *

><p>Death and Phoenix laughed cheerily as the memory flickered across the pool then glanced at their silent companion.<p>

"Cheer up!"

"I am cheerful."

"Oh, so cheerful is sitting looking at a pool of water, reliving the glory days and wishing you were there again?"

"It's not like that Jean!"

"It is and you know it."

The two women on either side both reached round and hit her over the head.

"Stop being a morbid old idiot."

"Right. Out! Everyone out! I want to be able to mope in peace!"

Phoenix sighed and walked three steps before fading away whilst Death sat resolutely there.

"I said, get out!"

"And in case you don't remember, I outrank you."

"So what?"

"So, you can't order me to leave."

"I hate everyone."

* * *

><p>Tora stood still in her uniform again. In a few short seconds, she was going to step out of the shadows and attack the Sentinel. And the whole world would go crazy. So far, they'd kept her return secret, but after the Doom Incident, she had decided to return to active duty. At the moment, Sue Richards was babysitting Jamie. Tora closed her eyes, raised her hands and put the headdress in place. Then she tensed and leapt out, landing on the Sentinel's head. She heard the shouts, including one 'Major bad taste' and a 'Why won't those muties die?' before the battle took all of her attention. She flipped over the head and ran her claws down through it's main memory. The thing hissed and she beheaded it. She jumped clear as it collapsed then ran towards Bobby, who looked like he was having trouble.<p>

"Colossus, Fastball NOW!"

She went shooting through the air, feet first, smashing directly into the Spider-Sentinel's main sensor. Iceman gave her a cocky salute then ice-slided off to find someone else to annoy while she stripped the Sentinel of it's main components. The manual labour allowed her mind to wander and she instinctively slipped into the mind stream. Minds brushed and she allowed herself to enjoy living other lives. Then she sensed something and ducked, allowing a piece of flying shrapnel to bury itself in the building opposite. Logan charged past and smiled at her before leaping onto the Sentinel about to blast Scott. Jean was in full Phoenix mode, burning Sentinels to scrap. Then, as quickly as the battle started, it was over. Tora set to work slowing her breathing when a familiar scent came up behind her. She sighed and turned off her digital scramblers.

"Hello photographer."

"Ms Tigress, I'm Peter Parker, a photographer for the Daily Bugle. My partner Ben Urich was wondering if you would give an interview?"

"No. Ask Iceman. He's our PR rep."

"But it's you we're interested in. Weren't you shot and declared Dead at the Scene only a year and a half ago? Or are you taking on the mask of a fellow hero?"

She turned and looked at Parker's hopeful expression. She blessed the mask that hid her eyes.

"I do not give interviews. I value my privacy."

"Please…"

He lowered his voice.

"Tora, this could make my career."

"Ask Scott and Bobby. And check with Logan."

"You're a star Tora."

"You owe me one Spidey."

Parker nodded cheerfully. Running over to a grey-haired reporter he had a long discussion with waving arms. Smiling slightly, Tora went over to Kurt.

"Get me out of here."

"_Natürlich, mein Freund_."

The last thing she saw was Peter Parker's look of disbelief. When she recovered, she rang him.

"Come to Harry's. I'll meet you there. I couldn't resist that. Yes, I'm sorry."

* * *

><p>Death smiled slightly.<p>

"Parker has requested transfer to the Library to deal with Earth 'wisecracks'. Can you enlighten me?"

"Spider-man has a three-tiered level of verbal torments. Firstly he starts with sarcasm. Then he goes on to gloating, at which point you should be ready to leap in to save his arachnid backside then when he starts flirting, it's time to teleport him out."

"That didn't answer my question."

"I'm saying he doesn't really want to come. He's just trying to cheer me up."

* * *

><p>Tora stood by the window after classes finished and allowed her mind to focus on the lamp in the corner of her mind. The light burned brightly, almost supernova in intensity.<p>

_Are you healed yet?_

_Almost. I no longer require your bridge between the worlds. My final part comes._

A single firefly slid through the door and then the supernova burned so brightly, Tora's entire mind was dazzled.

_I am healed!_

_When you leave, will the barriers collapse?_

_When I leave?_

_You are leaving aren't you? My head's a little cluttered at the moment._

_But you are __**the Avatar**__. After all these years, you are the perfect vessel for my power._

Tora allowed her mental self to withdraw.

_I am myself. I do not accept lodgers in my head. My mind is precious to me._

_But you __**are**__ the Avatar. My 'sister' has had many. I swore to take only one and that being I would remain with for the rest of eternity and beyond._

_I don't want too live for 'eternity and beyond'. I just wanted to save my friends._

_Really? Then why did you allow me in? You built the barriers yourself. All I did was hold back the tide for a second._

_You tricked me!_

_I never said I would give you barriers. All I said was I would help you._

_GET OUT OF MY HEAD!_

_No._

_GET OUT!_

_NO!_

Tora screamed as the **thing** tried to wrap itself around her mind and link with it. Then the pain got too much and she collapsed to the ground, all her energy going into forcing the **thing** out.

* * *

><p>"It has started."<p>

"That it has Death old friend."

"And where will it end?"

"You and I alone know."

"You intend to go through with it?"

"Of course."


	56. Ascension

**Memories**

Ascension

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Jean froze as she entered the holding cell. Tora was curled in a ball, whispering for the thing to 'Get out, get out, GET OUT!' Then she raised her head and Jean recoiled. One eye was the normal gold with the slightly outsized iris and oval pupil. The other, whilst gold, had a coiled silver serpent in the pupil.

"Get out Jean. I can't hold this **thing** back much longer."

"You've been in here a week. I thought I could possibly try to get through your shields and do a little Phoenix magic."

To demonstrate her point Jean allowed a flicker of flame to run around her fingers. Then she leapt back as Tora took a swipe at her, claws extended.

"Evil thing! Get out of my head!"

This was what Hank had been talking about. For the first three days after Tora had woken up she had simply meditated in the holding cell she had locked herself into. Then the muttering had started and she had finally tried to attack Hank, seeing him as whatever was inside her head. Jean carefully allowed her mind to reach out, and instead of the usual none-existent mind, there were metal shields thrown up. Jean ran her mind across them, trying to find a flaw while the chains Tora had insisted on did their job. Then Jean found it. A tiny hairline crack in the barriers. She tried to force it open but to no avail. Then she let the Phoenix out. The crack burned, becoming larger and then she was in. And screamed.

The place was a battleground. She recognized the room from the other X-Men's memories, the place they had rescued Tora from three years ago. At one end of the room, crouching low and dressed in a curious white gown, almost surgical in appearance, was Tora, claws out. Only there was no dull metal and when Jean looked closer she saw a Tora she had never even imagined. Where there had always been twisted scar tissue, now there was smooth skin. But her eyes were older than Jean had ever imagined, ancient eyes that had seen too much and very rarely appeared. And behind her there was a door that had obviously been added in. Or maybe it was the only original feature of Tora's mind… It was low, dark, dangerous looking, an embodiment of the darker side of her gift. Jean saw images of torture, of pain. Tearing her eyes away from the door, she turned to the other end of the hall. And Phoenix flared up.

A serpentine dragon, made of smooth, flowing water sat coiled at the other end. The slightly leonine head with it's silver eyes were fixed on Tora. Bat-like wings curled around it's back. Then memories that weren't Jean's slid through her mind. The glorious insanity, flying through the stars as Dark Phoenix, singing her song of death and destruction. Then the Dragon flying out to meet her.

_Sister, do not do this! This is not what you are!_

_Leave me sibling! You are nothing compared to me!_

_I am the Dragon Song! I heal what is dying before it's time!_

_And I burn away what doesn't work!_

_But this place works!_

_It is my right to burn!_

Then raising her hand and sending her sibling screaming, shattering it into a million pieces and throwing it through the multiverse. Jean staggered back as if struck and then became aware that all of Tora's thoughts were now open to her. She watched as Tora pulled up her worst memories, used them as an anchor in the storm. Then the Dragon Song uncoiled and it's wings opened. All the room and everything else faded away and they stood in a huge gallery, with crystal pillars, some with metal running through them. It looked like a museum, with the large overhead windows and rooms off to each side. At first Jean thought that it must be something out of Dragon's memories. Then she realized, gradually, that the crystal pillars were covered with pictures. As she looked closer at one the image started moving and she felt sick.

_Tora turned her head and __**she **__was there. Beautiful, loved, perfect Jean Grey. She sensed Logan's attraction to her and wanted to scream. Powerful, lady-like Jean Grey. Why Kitty called her?_

"_I am afraid I cannot come Kitty. I planned to train tonight and I also offered to help Logan strip down his bike. And your companion doesn't like me very much."_

_She could smell the hostility surrounding the other woman._

"_How do you know that?"_

"_Your body language suggests disdain for me and your fight or flight hormone levels flair up when you see me. It suggests you wish to fight me because I am an interloper into your group."_

_And she turned and walked away, hearing the last, biting comment._

"_Why on Earth is she with the X-Men?"_

Jean turned away before any more of the memory was played. She was in Tora's mind. And it was beautiful. And terrible. And broken. The pillars had been smashed, shattered. And Jean turned towards her friend.

_Tora?_

Tora spun to face her and Jean saw the dread on the now scarred face.

_Get out Jean! When I lose, I need you to be ready. You're one of the few who can kill me._

_Tora, I'm here to help you._

The Dragon moved closer towards Tora.

_Sister, tell her of our past._

_Sister? Jean…?_

_This is the Dragon Song Tora. While Phoenix is fire and life incarnate, Dragon is water and life renewed. We are reflections._

_Yes. We are opposite and yet the same. Listen to your friend little one. I mean you no harm. Tell her the prophecy._

Jean saw the anger in Tora's eyes.

_Hear me out Tora. Then make a choice. And I will support you in that decision._

She turned to the water moving towards her.

_And if she does not want you, then you must leave._

The Dragon Song nodded it assent. Jean slid away and let Phoenix take control. Her hair flickered as it became flames and her eyes shone.

_The two children of life shalt fight for each world. _

_Neither can leave unless The Tribunal is told. _

_First is the Phoenix,_

_Fire and Life Incarnate,_

_Burns away the stagnant._

_Second, the Dragon,_

_Water and Life Renewed,_

_Heals what is dying._

_Phoenix flits, Dragon stays._

_Takes one life till the end of days._

Jean turned and looked at Tora.

_Dragon swore that it would only take one avatar. The Perfect Avatar. One who represented everything that Dragon stood for. Healing, the past, knowledge. That Dragon has chosen you is a great honour. Out of all the lives in the universe, only one can take the Dragon Song._

_I don't want this. I'm just Tora._

_Just Tora is the reason I chose you. _

_I don't WANT THIS!_

_But Tora…_

_Jean, I'm not like you. All I want, all I've ever dreamed of was a normal life. You chose this path. I was forced down it. I'm not a hero. Not really. I'm just someone who got swept up in all this._

_Tora…?_

_I don't want to be like Etana. Spend my whole life fighting for people who hate me. _

_Tora, this isn't you speaking. What's wrong?_

And suddenly the memory came. A broken woman crooning in the darkness, rocking back and forth, singing a nonsense lullaby.

_Tora, why didn't you…_

_GET OUT OF MY HEAD!_

And then the walls caved in and began pushing Jean towards the doors, forcing her out of Tora's mind.

_NO! Tora let me…!_

And Jean could only watch as the pillars cracked and fell towards Tora, who was too busy forcing her out to notice.

She gasped as her mind returned to her body. Tora was screaming and Jean knew that if she couldn't get back in, couldn't save Tora, then her friend would die. Tora's head snapped up, revealing eyes where whites were glowing silver and the dragon roared in her pupils.

"Kill me…"

Jean backed away.

"DO IT!"

"No…"

"Jean…please…"

Please no! She was begging now, pleading.

"One quick burst. One single telekinetic grasp around my heart. Please Jean…"

Then she screamed and her eyes shone with the power she didn't want and was now burning up her mind.

"KILL ME!"

Then she collapsed, the chain around her wrists cutting into her arms as she fell off the seat. Her eyes, now as normal as they would ever be, looked up.

"Please…please…"

"What about Jamie?"

"Better he never knows his mother than have a monster for one."

Jean turned and walked out, but not before one last word.

"Dragon and Phoenix are one and the same Tora. I thought you were different. Saw me as human. But I'm a monster to you like everyone else."

"JEAN!"

The door closed as Tora screamed to Jean. Jean wiped a tear from her eye before she walked towards the lift. Tora hadn't meant it, she had just hated the idea of loosing her independence. And a relationship with cosmic entity meant you were never independent again. While they were there, everything was shared. When they weren't it was like a hole in your heart. And Tora would hate to be completely reliant on something. Jean pressed the comm-link.

"I couldn't get into her mind. Send down Xixy."

Xixy. He'd turned up just before Christmas, planned to stay a few weeks at most. Ended up staying for a month and running Alien Culture classes after school, which resulted in Hank being very upset when Xixy blew up the labs demonstrating weapons of hyper-mass destruction. Xixy, who would have no problem with driving one of his many weapons that were a part of his goo-like body into Tora's skull. The final solution. If Tora couldn't control her raging battle, then she had requested a simple way out. A single swift severing of the spinal cord. So easy. So quick, So **clean**. And a life falls into the oblivion.

"Jeannie, please try again…"

"I'm sorry Logan. The…infection's spread. She looked me in the eye and ordered me to kill her."

"And you didn't?"

"How could I?"

"Yet you're willing to call Xixy down."

"That's different."

"No Red. It ain't. Ya learn that as life goes on."

Then Jean was shoved aside as Xixy walked in, imposing and tall.

"I will judge her mental state myself."

Then Logan came charging from his seat.

"Ya ain't killing her!"

Then they heard the noise. A scream so long and painful that Logan went crazy, pushing Jean aside and stabbing Xixy. The squelch as the claws withdrew would have been funny if the situation hadn't been so serious. The door was wrenched off and Logan's arms were wrapped around Tora.

"Hush darlin'."

"Dying. Kill me."

Then suddenly she looked up and her wild eyes met Logan's, his red with tears, hers weary with acceptance. Then something Jean would ponder on for centuries afterwards happened. The silver taint faded, her pupils returned to normal black. For a second Jean thought Tora had expelled the Dragon Song. Then she thought she had trapped it. And then a tiny sparkle in Tora's pupil told her the truth. Tora had accepted the Dragon Song. There were no wild bursts of energy, none of the pyrotechnics (aquatechnics?) that had accompanied Jean's ascension to Phoenix. Just acceptance. And maybe that was all that was needed.

* * *

><p>Death sat back.<p>

"Not very impressive. The way Phoenix tells it, she starts flying and then proceeds to resurrect her."

"That's later."

"Oh. So that was the real ascension?"

"Yes."

"Boring wasn't it?"


	57. Sacrifice

**Memories**

Sacrifice

Disclaimer: Shouldn't you know by now?

Tora stood at the window in Charles' office, concentrating on the light in her mind. She had thought the Song was a parasite, something to be forced out. Now she wasn't fighting it, she could properly see it. Strong, beautiful. Something that didn't need an avatar but wanted one out of a need to feel emotions. She hadn't even tried to push into the rolling waves of power. Why should she? She was willing to give Dragon emotions. Maybe even willing to give it limited control of her body. But use the power she didn't want, the almost infinite power that came with all cosmic entities? No. She would only use the gifts given to her by evolution and human meddling. The sea was going to remain untouched for the rest of her life. However long that might be.

"What was wrong with Tora Jean?"

Tora turned to look at the other X-Men.

"Nothing is wrong. I'm fine. It was just a minor problem."

"MINOR! Tora, you almost died!"

"And the crisis is over. No one need ever mention it again."

She saw Jean frown.

"Look, I just had a minor psychic crisis. I'm fine now. And Jean, I'm fine. No residue left."

"Residue of what?"

Tora turned to see Scott.

"Of the battle that took place."

"What were you fighting?"

Tora froze. She still had extreme trouble lying and she knew if she refused to say then Scott would force it out of her. She was saved by a slight beeping from Charles' desk. A hologram of Lilandra shimmered into the air.

"Charles, I'm so sorry."

"What…?"

"Our scientists detected the presence of the Dragon Song on Earth. And it was taking an avatar. The same reading as when Phoenix became Phoenix. The council…Charles, the council overruled me. They're going to declare war!"

"What!"

"The Dragon Song has never taken an avatar. That both Phoenix and Dragon are on the same world… That means that something terrible is going to happen. And to stop it, the council seems to think that the…the destruction of Earth is the only solution."

"If the Shi'ar attack the Dragon Song Empress, the K'Meer will wipe you out."

The hologram turned.

"Prince Xixswalstar. What are you doing on Earth?"

"Taking a holiday."

"With the X-Men?"

"They are very interesting. But make war on the Dragon Song and you make war on the Holy Empire of the K'Meer. We serve the Dragon Song, if you remember."

"Lilandra, what do you mean about the Dragon…Song taking an avatar?"

"Prince Xixswalstar would be a better teller of that tale. I imagine he has heard tales of the Dragon Song since he was spawned."

Xixy nodded.

"My people revere the Dragon about all else. When the world was young, we were attacked. Our gods were helpless. Our world was breaking apart. And then **it** came. Like an angel. Is that the right definition? The Dragon Song healed our world and sent our attackers fleeing. The legend says the Dragon Song roared to the sky and the hoards fell like leaves although I think that could be poetic license. It left, but not before leaving a single ice-scale behind, our most sacred artefact that crowns the head of the Most High Imperiax Himself. We send the first-born son of the Emperor to serve the Dragon. That's why I am heir to the throne while my brother is High Priest."

The Lilandra hologram nodded.

"Legends tell that the Dragon Song is more peaceful than the Phoenix Force, although there have been reports of armies being destroyed by it, normally when libraries are threatened."

"Libraries?"

"The Phoenix represents thought and the life that is yet to come. Dragon is knowledge and the life that has gone. Tied together. You cannot have one without the other and both are incredibly powerful."

"But Lilandra, no telepathic spikes have registered. Not a single one on Earth."

"You have to know what to look for. And Cerebo only detects mutants correct?"

"Yes but…"

"The Dragon is crafty. Other names for it include the Serpent…"

"Only by the Skrulls! They hate it because it defeated their attack on Sabar."

"Which you decimated three standard time units later."

"Beside the point."

"Tora, are you feeling alright?"

For Tora had gone a washed-out white colour.

"Darlin' are ya alright? Is it one of yer others?"

"No. Not one of the others."

"Tora sugah, what's wrong?"

"Nothing Rogue. I…I just think I need to get some fresh air."

She turned and walked out the room, seeing Jean's slight frown become even deeper. Sabar. She'd never even heard of it but suddenly memories came rushing to her. A peaceful world, with delicate spindly cities build between the beautiful rock spires. Destroyed? How?

"STOP IT!"

A group of students looked at her worriedly then tried to work out what they were supposed to stop doing. In a daze Tora walked to the lift, called it and headed down to the hanger. She frowned. The Blackbird wasn't ready for space flight yet. Wait… She walked over to the rock-like ship and pressed her hand to the control panel. Xixy had been giving her lessons and included her on the isomorphic controls list. She concentrated and let the quiet engines start up before sounding the klaxon to clear the basketball court. She finished setting up the ship then closed the door. She flicked on the message.

"Get me in touch with Majestrix Lilandra Neramani."

"The Empress of the Shi'ar Empire?"

"How many Lilandra Nermani's who happen to be Majestrix?"

"One."

"Well what do you think?"

"Linking with her flagship right now."

The hologram flashed up, revealing a frowning Lilandra as Tora piloted the ship up and out of the basketball court.

"Prince- Tora?"

"Lilandra, tell your men there is no need to attack Earth. Dragon is coming to them. At the Blue Area of the Moon."

She saw the look of Lilandra's face.

"I thought you didn't… ah…"

Tora glared at the hologram, daring Lilandra to voice her unspoken comment.

"Just tell them it's coming. And there will be no fight."

"Tora…?"

"Don't say anything Lilandra. Please."

Lilandra frowned and terminated the message before she made any promises. Tora sighed then programmed the computer to go to the Blue Area of the Moon then set it up so it would go back when she landed. Then she recorded a few messages onto the log. Mainly just explaining what she had done and why. A message for Jamie for when he was older. She closed her eyes and concentrated on what was to come. Every time she faced death she always felt so peaceful. But the peace wasn't coming this time. All it was were images of Jamie crying. Then Etana standing with her finger pressed on Tora's chest.

"I didn't die just so you could do this stupid stunt."

Tora shook her head and checked with the other Tora to see if Etana actually had said that only to find Cap kissing Etana then blushing so badly his ears looked like they were on fire. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. Tora burst into quiet, angry tears in the tiny cabin. It should be the Etana she knew, properly knew, that should be laughing at the look on Logan's face. So full of life and vive. Then the irritating computer told her it was T-minus 3 minutes and autopilot was being switched off. Tora pressed her hands to the control panel. The ship landed and Tora shuddered. She reached over to the mask and slipped it on. Then she impressed on the computer the importance of returning home straight away. She stepped out. And a roar hurt her ears. The entire Imperial Guard, amassed and preparing to fight. Then they stopped. They hadn't expected a single, unarmed woman who walked quietly towards the leader.

"You are the Dragon?"

"Yes."

"Are you here to fight?"

"I am here to die."

She spoke softly but the ripple of noise told her everyone had heard. Gladiator frowned.

"You are an X-Man. Where are your friends?"

"Back home."

"They let you come alone?"

"They don't even know I'm here."

Gladiator frowned.

"Why…?"

"Better me than the world. Just two requests. One for not fighting you. The other my last request."

He nodded.

"Ask, and if it is in my power, I shall do as you say."

"Don't attack Earth. Let Phoenix live."

Gladiator made an impatient motion.

"You are the uncertainty. Phoenix, whilst a threat, will not be engaged unless she attacks a Shi'ar vessel or one of our allies. Your other request?"

"I…I don't want to stay here. Take me...my…just take me home."

He frowned.

"My men will be attacked."

"You don't have to appear to them. Just…let them know it's me."

She didn't bother to say anything else. Just bent her head and whispered a quiet prayer under her breath. She and Kurt had a tradition of praying whilst on the way to missions. She wished he were there beside her, even if it was just for the company. The tear rolled off the ruined side of her face before she could stop it.

"Just do it."

She heard the sound of weapons being prepared. Even her healing factor couldn't withstand a hundred different fatal injuries, all made with different weapons. She heard the instructions being shouted in Shi'ar. Basic language training kicked in.

"Take aim…"

She wished she hadn't translated. It made it all the worse. She could easily die in battle and accepted that. But dying alone, not even on Earth, with not a person beside her felt…terrible. She closed her eyes.

"Fire!"

* * *

><p>Death winced.<p>

"Ouch?"

"Yes. Ouch. Only…"

"Yes. Only…"

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N<strong>. Now I'm going to be evil and not update until I get three reviews. I **live** for them people!_


	58. Flying on the Moon

**Memories**

Flying on the Moon

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

The first real idea any of them had was when the klaxon sounded. Kurt had been sent down to the hanger, only to report that Xixy's ship had left. Rogue had run in three minutes later to announce Tora was nowhere to be seen. This caused uproar, made worse by Lilandra relaying Tora's conversation with her to the X-Men. Logan went crazy and started yelling at Jean while Charles called Mr Fantastic and begged the use of one of his shuttles. The shuttle arrived in under ten minutes, by which point Logan had threatened to behead Jean three times and do nasty things to other people eight times. It was only when they were on the shuttle that they realized Xixy had disappeared.

"Some worshipper of the Dragon."

They sat in silence, waiting for Jean to explain herself. No explanation was forthcoming so they gave up. She was fiddling with one of the ties on her belt, head down. Then she looked up, her eyes burning.

"Tora's afraid."

"What?"

"I can feel her fear. It's like a part of me. Her emotions. Not her thoughts. Just emotions."

"You mean…?"

"I think we have gained an empathic link. Which means I'll know if…"

No one needed the sentence finished. The prospect was almost unthinkable. Going, but knowing they still might not be fast enough. The moment they touched down they charged out. And froze. Tora was surrounded by the entire Imperial Guard, her head bowed and her lips moving slightly.

"Take aim!"

They saw her blink and a trail slide down her face.

"Fire!"

"X-Men! Attack!"

The red beam of light hit Gladiator squarely in the chest as Phoenix burned brightly. Tora turned.

"YOU IDIOTS!"

Her claws chikted out and slid to her throat. Nightcrawler teleported down and caught her arm. She threw him off but the delay had allowed Logan to tackle her to the ground.

"DON'T YOU **DARE** DIE ON ME AGAIN!"

She snarled and tried to kick him off. Angel slammed into a flyer as Colossus chucked an opponent into the air. Cyclops managed to do an almost impressive growl as he ran past her.

"You are on triple training for a month Tora, if we get back alive."

She snarled, a much more impressive sound than Scott's rather feeble attempt.

"I had **everything** under control."

"You were going ta DIE Tora!

"And the world will live. End of."

He snarled and rammed his claws into the ground, pinning her arms down.

"I should be there, helping the others. But ya'd do something stupid and I'd be lost. Again."

He looked up and saw Beast leaping across rubble, Northstar outracing another speedster, Gambit charging what looked like a bottle of water, until he threw it and it exploded, suggesting he'd been brewing ethanol again. They were falling back. Colossus was crushed under some sort of size-changer. Cyclops was being forced into a corner. Nightcrawler was surrounded. Then a sound reminiscent of the X-Wings in Star Wars sounded.

A series of rock-like ships, each glowing a different colour zoomed overhead. Lasers fired and the Guard pulled back. Then the orange one that had been at the tip of the V formation landed and Xixy marched out, wearing black armour that seemed to be a solidified form of his goo. He marched forward, displaying impeccable strategy and tactics. He was obviously a solider and a good leader. Then Jean marched over to Tora and pulled her up after Logan got off her.

"YOU IDIOT!"

Tora didn't say anything.

"I didn't help you just to have you sacrifice yourself! The Shi'ar will kill your family as well Tora!"

"Shut up."

The anger of both women radiated and rebounded across their newly forged empathic link. Then Jean screamed as the laser, misfired by a Shi'ar Guardman, bore into her back. Tora ran towards her, not noticing the water spilling around her claws.

"JEAN!"

She checked her pulse and snarled.

"Wake up you idiot!"

Then she froze. In her mind, a voice was speaking.

_I heal __**all**__. Let me heal her._

_How?_

_Like this._

And suddenly the dam burst and the power swirled into her mind. She instinctively siphoned it into her claws, which glowed with the energy being run through them. Then the water burst from the tips, pushing the other X-Men back. The K'Meer warriors bowed their heads (gloopy front bits?). The water spun round her, enveloping Tora in the water and almost obscuring her from view. And a dragon roared to the sky. The leonine head threw back, the bat-like wings uncurled. And in the centre of this wild tsunami, Tora leant over Jean and carefully picked her up. She seemed oblivious to what was happening around her. Then the wings flapped three times and she hovered, not with the grace of Jean, but still impressive for someone with no gift in flying so far. Then she shot upwards, creating a cloud around her. The X-Men could only watch and hope. And then the Phoenix firebird burned brightly in the centre of the cloud and Jean descended. Cyclops grabbed her into an embrace as soon as she landed. The cloud above was thickening, become a dark rain cloud. It seemed to be forming a dragon shape as well. And then a figure almost floated downwards. Almost because it wasn't graceful enough to be called floating. She couldn't control her speed and crashed down hard. She straightened and looked at her gloves. No longer was she wearing orange and black. Instead she wore a deep aqua blue uniform with silver gloves and boots. She almost looked like Phoenix. Then she raised her head and the single piece of proof she had once been Tigress glinted in the light. A blue mask, framed with a silver headdress. Down the nose and round the eyes, then back down the jawbone to the sides of her mouth, pinning her hair back as it did so.

"Logan?"

No one dared speak. The first time Jean had changed had been frightening but also wonderful. This was just terrifying. Her gifts had changed so completely, so utterly, it was a wonder there was anything left of the old Tigress. She made as if to move towards them. Cyclops moved between Jean and Tora. Logan made as if to step forward but Gambit put a warning hand on his arm. Then Xixy walked up to her. And bowed.

"My Lady."

"Quit the 'My Lady' stuff Xixy. Just get us home."

At this piece of typical Tora mentality, the others laughed warily. The Imperial Guard had been pretty much subdued and Xixy waved a hand, ordering his men (globs?) to stop killing people.

"We go home!"

"Not yet, Lord Prince."

If goo could go pale, then Xixy did. His normally bright neon orange turned to washed out yellow.

"F-Father…"

"I thought you were tired of fighting?"

"I was saving the Dragon."

"Bring it to us. Bring our god home."

"I'd rather go to my home thank you very much."

Xixy frowned and waved the X-Men towards the FF ship that looked a little worse for wear.

"I shall follow when I have dealt with the tedious paperwork."

* * *

><p>Death snorted.<p>

"That sounds almost like the Tribunal."

"Oh yes. He told me I was 'too random' and I needed to submit reports more often. I submit a report every fortnight. At least, I used to. I haven't got anything to do. What am I supposed to say? I spent all my time daydreaming?"

"Bureaucrats."

"I hate bureaucracies. Do you know I once had **eighteen** forms to fill in to explain why I needed exemption from the SHRA? It would have been easier to join the underground Avengers."


	59. Acceptance

**Memories**

Acceptance

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Tora sat fiddling with the ties on her new belt whilst blanking Scott's lecture on 'Safety, Teamwork and your disrespect for it'. She seemed confused. Hank had ruled out concussion, but there was something not quite right about her. Jean diagnosed extreme power surge, which apparently caused extreme confusion, especially when accessed for the first time. Something about the brain trying to realize it had almost unlimited power at it's hands and therefore set to work sorting out what needed in terms of barriers and limits. Tora's entire mind was focussing on sorting out the knowledge and power into categories of 'Use', 'Emergency Only' and 'Do Not Under **Any** Circumstances Use This Power'. At least that's what Jean went through. Tora's headings were probably closer to 'Bad Idea'. 'Really Bad Idea' and 'ARE YOU CRAZY! UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU EVEN BE **LOOKING** IN THIS DIRECTION!' She apperently had a major freak out when she realized she was flying, hence the impressive crash-landing. Logan moved over to her and caught her hands. She turned to look at him and smiled sadly.

"Sorry."

"For what darling?"

"For this. All this."

The now silver eye covers looked at him.

"I didn't mean for this to happen."

He sighed. She was feeling **guilty**. Why did she have to feel guilty?

"It's not your fault darlin'"

She smiled sadly.

"I let it in. I shouldn't have."

"You were saving our lives at the time."

"And I risked them today. What if I couldn't heal Jean? Not that I did heal her."

"It sure looked like you did."

"I simply let it take control."

"Let it take control?"

"It's like when you just let go of rational thought and let your instinct take over. Only it's not **my** instinct."

"If you two lovebirds want to listen up, we're landing."

Both turned their heads at the same moment.

"SHUT UP BOBBY!"

* * *

><p>Death sighed happily.<p>

"So I'm not the only one who finds him intolerable?"

"Most people find him irritating and immature."

"Good. I may have created a private Hell for him though."

"Really? Normally he was creating them for other people. OK, I'm being cruel to him but it's still true."

* * *

><p>As soon as they touched down, Tora disappeared. Logan tried to follow her but Jean held him back.<p>

"She needs time alone. Needs to work out boundaries with Dragon and whether to accept the power as hers or give it back. Look, it's like trying to work out a very complicated bathroom rota."

"Bathroom rota?"

"It's not easy to make a good comparison. Look, she just needs time alone."

Logan nodded. He could follow her scent trail anyway. And what bothered him more was a student running out moaning about Jamie screaming. Knowing his luck, he'd need changing. And it was a lot worse with a highly developed sense of smell. Then he started crying again and making nuzzling noises, which meant he wanted Tora. Logan decided that she had enough time to 'work out the bathroom rota' and went off after her.

He padded through the woods and found her, sitting cross-legged, claws out, water running in spirals around them.

"Am I doing the right thing? Should I stay as Tigress? Or accept Dragon? Send me the answer. Please Father, send me the answer."

Wolverine stepped forward and she turned.

"Hello Logan. Is he hungry?"

"Yeah."

She took Jamie off him and sighed.

"I think we should go in. No need to traumatise spying students. Not to mention I need to find out where the zip on this ridiculous get-up is."

Logan snorted.

"I like it."

"**You** would. Do you **know** how tight this is?"

"Darling, I can see it all."

She snarled.

"Be glad I'm holding Jamie. Otherwise you may have just lost some teeth. And if you can see it, so can everyone else."

"I've changed my mind. Go back to your old uniform."

She laughed.

"I'm not sure. I may keep this one. Only once I've altered it of course."

"I'll help."

"Help how?"

"Help take it off?"

"Logan, will you ever **learn**."

* * *

><p>Death snorted.<p>

"He asked for protection when he first turned up. Something about keeping in one piece for Tora."

"Did you have any trouble with other people?"

"Well Sabretooth took the opportunity to have fights where **neither **could kill the other."

"They did that anyway."

"Well more so."

* * *

><p>"Look, you've flown once already."<p>

"That wasn't me!"

"It sure looked like you Tora."

"I don't like flying."

"You seem fine on the Blackbird."

"That's because science dictates it can be held up."

"You are impossible. Look, you flew, you can do it again."

"I can't fly Jean!"

"Yes you can you idiot!"

"You're resorting to cheap insults in the vague hope I will be annoyed enough to start flying. It won't work Jean."

"That's it."

And Jean grabbed Tora's arms and telekinetically dragged them both up.

"I am going to drop you. And I'm not going to catch you. You may not be injured much but the people under you will be."

"Jean…"

"Bye!"

And Tora fell. Jean blanked out the torrent of French insults and hovered, watching as Tora gained velocity. A single sentence floated up to her ears.

"I HATE YOOOOUUUUUUU!"

Tora didn't show any signs of slowing. Then, just as Jean prepared to grab her telekinetically, something seemed to click and waves swirled around the falling woman. The descent slowed and she touched the ground with the slightest of bumps. Then, before Jean could get down to congratulate her, Tora had marched off into the mansion, shields up full strength to prevent Jean even sensing her. Scowling, Jean contacted the Professor.

_I think I may have overstepped a mark Charles._

_Jean, readings show it wasn't Tora flying. It seems she is incapable of non-powered flight. Instead, something caught her. Something with readings I've only seen when Dark Phoenix manifested._

_WHAT!_

_I'm not saying it's bad Jean. I'm simply saying something powerful stopped Tora from having a serious injury._

_This is bad Charles. I'm coming to see you. Now._

* * *

><p>Death glanced at her companion.<p>

"Were you responsible for that?"

"No. She was."

"I hate you taking in riddles."

"I knew someone who talked in riddles about the future all the time. It's a tribute to her that I do the same about the past."


	60. Secrets of Etana

**Memories**

Secrets of Etana

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

Tora sat in the room thinking about what had just happened. She'd been falling and unable to stop, even if she tapped into Dragon's power. And then something had appeared around her, a body made of water, who caught her with it's immaterial hands (still working that one out) and slowed her fall. And for a second, she'd sworn she'd seen her own face looking at her. She brushed her hand over the smooth material of her new uniform. The silver symbol was irritating her. A dragon, roaring to the sky. Wings outstretched. Serpentine body twisting. Then she remembered. She dived into her personal files and brought out the letter, forgotten in the months since Etana's death. The symbol on the seal was identical to the Dragon sign on her chest. Frowning, Tora unsheathed a claw and ripped the envelope open.

_Dear Tora,_

_Hello again. I take it by now, you've joined with Dragon. If you haven't __**STOP READING THIS INSTANT!**__ Well, this is the last letter I'll ever write and it is the most difficult letter I'll ever write as well. You see, even now, I still have many secrets. Some are little. Some are my great regrets. But all of them aren't really secrets. You see, my Master knew everything about me. My Master. She was __**my**__ angel. She brought me and my father's body home, told my uncle my name. Taught me to survive when my guardians died. Guided my hand through the ages._

_In other news, I hope Jamie's doing well (you tell me all about him!) and that you are extra nice to Jean. Strokes aren't pretty. Right, I'm off to the Medi-Lab. See you soon. Or not. Well, you may see me, a young me. I may see you again. I'm not sure. Oh, and if anyone tries to resurrect me, can you stop them. I don't think I could __**stand**__ another five thousand years on Earth._

_Love,_

'_Tana_

The lighthearted tone of the letter was offset by the tear smudges. Tora crumpled it up and screamed an obscenity. Stupid, stupid, stupid! That explained everything. And then her hand went up to the necklace Etana had given her three years ago. For the first time ever, it was warm. Frowning, she pulled it off and started. The inscription had changed.

"She Who Rides the Waves of Time Is She Who Wears This Chain and Feels The Warmth of Ages."

Weird. Wait a second. Etana had got this off her Master. Who apparently got it off Tora. So that meant she would give Etana the necklace… After thinking about this for about ten minutes, Tora started looking for aspirins. There's only so many circular paradoxes a person can take before their head explodes. And even for someone who's just started thinking in twelve dimensions, time travel is still hellishly tricky. Especially when you've only just started thinking in twelve dimensions. Most people, scratch that, 99.999999999% of people, can't think in **four** dimensions, let alone **twelve**. Even Reed Richards could only manage ten. But when you suddenly let in something that **watched the Universe being formed** and **probably** had quite a lot of input into what happened, then all normal rules go flying out the windows.

_Actually, I think in infinite dimensions. I cut down to twelve just to acclimatise you._

_**Acclimatise**__ me! Wouldn't it be easier to get there, say one dimension at a time?_

_But you'll need to help with some of my duties, which are very interesting to say the least, and I need you to think in as many dimensions as possible._

_Go fish._

_I do not understand that phrase. And congratulations, you have mastered sarcastic tone in telepathy. Very few can do that._

_Just go away. _

_Fine. I'll be in the memories area of your mind if you need me._

_Why there?_

_Lots of emotion. Don't worry, I stay out of the room marked Private. I'm not __**that**__ desperate to be human. You could have given me warning yesterday._

_Yes. That was very polite of you, leaving like that. And the blindfold made me laugh._

_In between-_

_Right, conversation over._

Both laughing in their minds, Tora marvelled at the ease she felt with Dragon. And they'd only bonded yesterday. It was like a missing part of her, a piece that had been taken away when she was born and now it had been given back.

"It makes you feel that, you know."

"Jean!"

"Yeah. I guessed what you've thinking from your emotions. It's not like that. You think it's a part of you and then it thinks, or worse still **does**, something you would never do and you realize you aren't the same."

"Says the woman who can't tell if it's Phoenix talking or her."

"That's…That's different."

"Yes Jean. It is. You yourself said it. Dragon only takes one person. It's like I've come home Jean. After all these years of not knowing what I was, whether I was Marie or Xii or Weapon X-ii or Tora or Tigress. Now I know."

"So what are you?"

"I am Dragon. And I am Marie and Xii and Weapon X-ii, only not very much, and Tora and Tigress. But mostly I am Dragon."

She smiled and got up.

"I need to go. I have a class to teach."

And walking away, humming under her breath, Tora didn't notice the little water dragon floating alongside her. She was too happy.

* * *

><p>Death laughed.<p>

"She didn't notice a piece of her **soul** bobbing alongside her?"

"Human's have a thing with souls. They like putting them in swords."

"She just **had** to be different."

"Well you have to admit, Jeanne was a very good listener."

"She was a tiger. A grey-blue tiger."

"A Maltese tiger, thank you very much."

"Huh?"

"Coat colouration. Like white, tabby and golden tigers but Maltese tigers are much more rare. There have been sightings but nothing concrete."

"There are **tabby** tigers?"

"I am an archivist Death. I notice things. Or file them at any rate."

* * *

><p>"You hit him?"<p>

"I didn't hit him. I **threatened** to. I waved my claws at him. But I didn't **touch** him. And he didn't turn up to detention. Again. Trust me Charles, the Quire boy is trouble. I get this weird feeling every time I look at him. Not to mention Dragon starts panicking. Look, I know he's your 'special student' and all that, but Charles, he is more trouble than he's worth. He asked me today why I wasn't with Magneto after what people did to me."

"And what did you say?"

"I said that two wrongs don't make a right and I feel a lot better saving their butts because it makes them feel guilty and I don't even think we **should** be called mutants. It doesn't help our case at all."

"What are you suggesting we name ourselves? Homo Sapiens Superior isn't very popular."

"We should be Homo Sapiens Sapiens. No mutants, no mutates, no baseline humans. Life would be a lot easier."

"You still threatened him."

"Listen Xavier. That kid is a temporal catastrophe waiting to happen. Not to mention he's a dangerous mutant supremacist who can't wait to go off and start a new Brotherhood. You thought Magneto was bad Charles. At least Erik has a reason. But Quire? He's just in it for the kicks. And I think he's doing Kick as well. No way does someone gain control of their telepathic abilities so quickly, unless they're using something evil. And I should mention, that stuff stinks to high heaven of bad."

"Tora, your concerns are noted. But you can't scare pupils."

"I didn't scare him. He did not say a word, wet his pants or in anyway smell of fear."

"Tora…"

"Look, the things he said. Charles that kid shouldn't be here. I know you think everyone should get a second chance. But he's dangerous and he's got a plan. I'm referring him to Scott and Emma-" her distaste at White Queen's name was palpable, "-and I want you to lay off the special treatment. In return, I'll keep my temper when around him. Oh, and congratulations on your talk at the Senate. I thought it was inspiring, although I was rather annoyed you showed the photos of my injuries."

"I wanted them to see what happened to a mutant who listened to reason and to show we aren't all evil."

"Yeah, and my back was shown to the whole world. Next time, tell me please."

"Of course Tora. Just please stop threatening students. It's more in line with Logan's line of thinking than yours. And send Quentin in after you."

"Of course oh High and Mighty Lord of Mutants."

"Wah-What!"

"I had you on there Charles. Don't worry. I'm just teasing…My Lord. Different reality. Couldn't resist."

And laughing she exited the room, having reduced Charles to spluttering.

* * *

><p>Death smirked.<p>

"She had a sense of humour, I'll give her that."

"Tell me about it."

"Sarcastic, and able to come up with comebacks."

"Number One requisite for being a hero."

"I thought it was having a spandex suit?"

"That Two. Three is having a reason. E.g. Spider-man's uncle died, Logan sort of got dragged into it, Scott-"

"Right, you don't have to tell me the motives of every hero in the universe."

* * *

><p>"Tora, I've got the babysitter. We have two hours… Tora?"<p>

She was sitting in the corner of her room, crying her eyes out.

"What's wrong?"

"Look…"

He turned to the laptop.

"Weapon X? Tora, we've already been through all this-"

"Read it."

He crouched down. It was a list of financers. AIM, representative George Tarleton was first on the list, surprise surprise. Second was Roxxon Oil, again, big surprise. Fourth was the US Government. Then Logan's fixed on the third name. Shadow International, representative Etana Aingeal. Shadow International. A corporation/charity that was now an offshoot of Worthington Industries. A company Etana had set up to move her funds around and find ways of getting them to the people who needed them. Mainly buying crops for ridiculously high prices. Which she could afford to do. But financing Weapon Plus? Why would she do that? And Etana was **there**. Had watched Tora suffer. And never raised a finger to help her. Why? And what would he do when he got down to the grave. It would probably involve digging her up and screaming at her for an hour or two, then find a way to reality jump to a universe where Etana was still alive and stab her a few times. But Tora's hand caught his.

"She was trained by a time-traveller. I think I must tell her teacher to do that."

"WHAT!"

"If I don't get trained, then I join the X-Men aged fifteen and die on my first mission or join the Brotherhood and kill countless people."

"You mean…"

"Better that I suffer to get here than live a normal life and die or become something I don't want to be."

"Tora…"

"It's my life Logan. And read her letter. It's encrypted. A normal hacker would get the simple message. But if I do this… I discussed this type of encryption with Etana and she showed me a way of decrypting it even further. There."

New words scrolled over the screen.

_So Sorry. So Sorry. So Sorry. So Sorry._ So Sorry.__ So Sorry.__ So Sorry.__ So Sorry.__ So Sorry.__ So Sorry.__ So Sorry.__ So Sorry.__ So Sorry.__ So Sorry.__ So Sorry. _So Sorry._ _So Sorry.___

Logan snorted.

"She meant it Logan. She means it."

Death sighed.

"So she was responsible for my 9218 counterpart getting eighteen thousand simultaneous entries."

"Actually, that was X-ii."

"She blew up about eight cities!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>__I just realised I've past Chapter 50 ages ago! And I was going to have some sort of celebration. As for how much longer this will go on for- I honestly haven't got a clue. OK, I know how much more I have to write of my timeline before I get to the ending (already written) but as for how much content it will include? No idea. _


	61. Dreams

**Memories**

Dreams

Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or any of their characters. Tora and Weapon X-ii are my own though.

The words flowed around them. Neither was listening, just sitting quietly on the couch together. Everything was so busy nowadays, with new supervillains popping up every other day. The whole Dragon thing had caused about eight days of excitement until, fed up with the questions at a press conference, Tora had stood up, screamed 'It's just a Secondary Mutation, 'kay?" sat back down again and refused to answer any more questions. But now they had an evening off and time to relax. Couples were dotted around the room, Jean and Scott on the loveseat, Rogue and Gambit being careful not to touch but still close, Warren and Betsy watching TV. Kitty and Piotr with Eloise and Luke, sitting together, playing some sort of card game that involved rows and screams of 'That's a Jack of Hearts, not Diamonds!' etc. And Logan and Tora in the darkest corner of the room. To most people looking, they were sitting together. In actual fact, she had fallen asleep through overwork, broken nights and physical exertion. Normally she slept from ten till five and that would last her. But when you wake up every half hour to see to a screaming baby, stay up late to mark papers and then get dragged into battle, you end up getting very sleepy indeed.

"Darling, we have to go up now. Tora?"

She purred sleepily, which meant she wasn't going to wake up anytime soon. Sighing, Logan picked her up and carried her upstairs to their room. She moaned when he pulled the covers over her. For all she complained about him stealing the quilt, he had the right to grumble about her stealing most of the space in the bed. Her eyes opened.

"_Ne dort pas…_ _simplement__ me repos__ mes yeux_."

"Just get to sleep. I'll watch Jamie tonight. One night of milk formula can't do too much harm, can it?"

"_Non. Merci beaucoup…_"

She rarely did this, forgot how to speak English. When it happened, it meant she was either exhausted or in terrible pain. She understood, which meant her translator wasn't on the blink again but she was still pretty wasted. Logan knew her English that she **knew**, aka hadn't been implanted into her head by evil geniuses, whilst not entirely perfect, was pretty good. It was just easier for her to speak French. So when someone had fried the chips, Remy had laughed his head off at her rather hazy English, then had a rapid conversation in French with her. He had insisted that people took her home, she reinstalled her language banks and _voila_! She could speak perfect English again. Apparently she took backups of her own mind which was according to Kitty 'ever so slightly freaky'. He watched as she snuggled into the duvet and her soft purring started again. Then he went over to the desk and flicked through the Espionage tests. They were multichoice and as he'd guessed, she'd only marked about a third. Picking up the crib sheet he started marking the rest. It was obvious she had written the paper. Question 18 made him laugh.

"You are attempting to steal a disk. You have managed to get out of the building but are now backed against a cliff. You are unarmed and being threatened by eight gun-wielding thugs. Beneath you are rocks. If you jump, your colleagues will get to your body first. Do you

a. Try to climb down the cliff?

b. Attack the guards head-on?

c. Jump off the cliff? Your sacrifice will mean your mission is almost certainly a success.

d. Surrender and wait for an opportunity to free yourself?

The correct answer was c. with a. getting a half mark for sheer guts. d. meant you failed the entire test. Logan scanned the rest of the paper and ascertained he would fail miserably. Apparently his temperament was too fiery to be a spy. Then he noticed the last two sentences.

"If you have a healing factor, then you would be a deadly and efficient spy. I happen to know this as Logan is like that."

He chuckled then checked to see he hadn't woken her up. He hadn't. As a matter of fact, she had sprawled out across the entire bed and was purring contentedly. He grinned, finished marking the tests and joined her. As soon as his cold feet entered the bed she withdrew, then sighed and snuggled up. Every night, no matter what had happened previously, would always end with them curled up together, sleeping peacefully.

Until Jamie started crying that is.

* * *

><p>Death laughed as the baby's cries rose from the pool and Logan slowly got up, walked out and dealt with the screaming boy.<p>

"I should point out, I didn't **really** put Drake in his private Hell."

"Really? What did you do then?"

"Made him babysit."

"Brilliant. Has he begged you to stop yet?"

"About nineteen times. Can you show me **why** he's so afraid?"

* * *

><p>"I can't babysit Kitty!"<p>

"Look, Tora told me to find a responsible adult whilst Fury lectures her on ethical murder. Apparently she wouldn't kill an AIM agent who later blew up a SHIELD facility. In the absence of responsible adults, you have to look after him."

"I can't look after Jamie Kitty. I'll do something wrong and Logan will kill me!"

"Just treat him like porcelain, OK?"

"I drop plates."

"Bone china then."

"I can't… Kitty! KITTY!"

The baby gurgled.

"You and me both kid. You know, you look a lot like Logan. Aren't anything like him though. So kid, we're stuck with each other. Want to go ice-sliding?"

Jamie gurgled cheerily.

"Right. Let's go."

Twenty minutes later, and Bobby was lucky Tora hadn't perforated him. She'd chased him around the house and hit him on the head with the big pasta pan though. It hadn't exactly been his fault Jamie had spun off the slide and onto the floor. But he'd started crying, and Tora, with uncanny instinct when her son was in danger, stole one of Fury's teleporters, came home and started her attack on Bobby. When Logan came home, Iceman locked himself in the lab and only came out in the old Hunter armour, which was ridiculously small on him. He was threatened by most, including Jean, Ororo and Remy. Surprisingly, Gambit had a soft spot for the baby although Tora had told him 'teach him any of your Cajun French and I will gut you'. He had laughed and retorted with 'purist'.

* * *

><p>"Le Beau. That man started having parties with Casanova the day he arrived."<p>

"He was…how old? Time has made me forget."

"Old enough."

"Were you to blame for that?"

"I may have…**tweaked** their biographies…a little…"

"Death dates by any chance?"

"Er…"


	62. Stabbed in the Heart

**Memories**

Stabbed in the Heart

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Logan watched as Jean and Tora fought. It looked as if Jean was moving to control the Phoenix whilst Tora was standing still. And then he saw it. The slight twitch of a wrist and a clawed wave struck out at Phoenix. A flick from the shoulder and the wings curled round to shield her. Understatement, therefore giving her an advantage of unpredictability. The two women were almost matched. Then Jean went full Phoenix and the waves faltered, drawing back into Tora. Jean pulled her friend up and the words echoed across the speakers.

"You need to be able to dig deeper Tora. You're just scratching the surface."

"I want to be able to rely on my own gifts. Not just Dragon."

"You need to learn to control it."

"I'm fine as I am."

* * *

><p>"When <strong>it<strong>…happened the first time, what caused it?"

"I'll show you."

* * *

><p>"QUIRE!"<p>

Tora charged towards the telepathic student. Her claws glowed with the water around them. He had gone too far this time. Leading a riot on Open Day. When they were supposed to be showing the world that mutants were good. The idiot. He stank of Kick. The waves swirled around her. After being bonded for nearly six months, control was easy. She flung out a hand, one of her few major controlling gestures, and the dragon span away from her and towards Quire. She felt Jean's anger and added her own to it. Anger gave them both an extra little something.

She leapt, twisted around a thrown object and brought her foot up in a high kick. And then everyone was screaming and Emma was bringing out a body, one of the Cuckoos. And Tora realised what had happened.

"_Stupide fille_."

Jean staggered towards her. Tora caught her, took her to Scott and marched off. As she walked, she let her mind wander, screaming at the idiocy of students who believed Magneto was right. Etana had tried to make him better than this. She had failed. Dragon relayed sadness.

_The Dark Angel was always of special interest to me._

_I can't believe Magneto turned out such a…such a __**jerk**__ with Etana teaching him._

_The sins of the son washed onto the mother._

_I thought it was sins of the father, onto the son._

_It's a Watcher quote._

_Watcher?_

The image flashed through her head.

_Oh. The big-headed guys._

_Yes. Uatu is a…friend of mine. We share an interest in history._

_What exactly __**do **__you do anyway?_

_I recycle old life-force. There is only so much in the universe. Phoenix uses the new life-force. I use the old, and in doing so, it becomes new again. I am also the Librarian of Reality._

_A librarian?_

_It's a difficult job. I'm interested in the Dewy Decimal System. At the moment I'm using the Kree Mach-Zar filing system which is rather unwieldy._

_Okaay…_

Then suddenly, whilst she was thinking, something hit her. Hard. And she felt the blackness rain down on her. Her last thought was 'I am such an idiot.'

* * *

><p>Death sighed.<p>

"Why did humans insist on hitting each other on the head?"

"It goes back to when rocks were the preferred weapon."

"Oh."

* * *

><p>She groaned as her memories came back to her. She was an idiot. Wandering off after a fight. She wondered who had captured her. Whoever they were, they knew their metal cuffs. She couldn't move her wrists and her hands had been strapped into a flat position. A soft, mocking voice she knew and thought dead spoke out of the gloom.<p>

"It never occurred to you, did it? That I, with your DNA, may have been able to use a clone. You really think I would be as **stupid** as to go myself?"

Poacher stepped into the light.

"You're…you're dead. I saw you die. I held you as you died. How? WHY!"

"I'm relaying this to the X-Men. Won't this be a sweet little gathering? And why have you changed your costume? Is it because your old one had too many bloodstains on it? Gotten used to being a murderer yet?"

"I…I… I have never hated myself as much as I did then."

"Pretty little words. They don't mean a thing do they?"

"I have lived in hatred of myself since that day."

"Don't lie! We **are** the same. And I would never feel regret at killing you."

Tora sat impassively throughout the whole evil villain monologue that followed then looked up.

"You say we are the same. But I have explored my gifts much more than you. Do you know the meaning of Dragon? You don't? How then do you expect to beat me?"

"You mean that ridiculous Secondary Mutation? It is of little consequence. After all, we are identical. And in case you hadn't noticed, I have already beaten you."

"Really?

That was Tora's killer question. When she said that, students cowered, Remy hid under a table and **normal**, **sensible** villains ran away.

"Of course I've beaten you. You're here aren't you? At my mercy."

Tora smiled. Her dangerous smile. The one that had people running for the hills.

"No. I have beaten **you**."

And the water burst from the cuffs having eroded them away. She stood and advanced on her ex-captor. And when she spoke, her voice was the sound of oceans roaring.

"You never learn do you? I always beat you and this time you've bitten off more than you can chew. You see, I'm not Tigress anymore. I'm not just a mutant. I'm Dragon. And I'm more than human. I was there before the universe began. And I'm as powerful as Phoenix. If not more. I am the seas and the glaciers and the rain and sleet and snow and ice. How can you beat a force of nature? How can you beat the flow of Time itself? And you haven't a chance of beating all the life that has been throughout time."

Poacher backed into a corner as Dragon advanced, hair blowing wildly and the tips becoming water. Anger, fear and a desire to be free had made Tora dig deep into her reserves. Then she leant forward and whispered softly in her clone's ear.

"We are not the same. You are all the parts of me I deny. And I've placed the past behind me. I **am** the past. It's easy to change time. But I don't. You once wanted the name Marie Circen. You are welcome to it. I have another name now. And it's all that I need to know I'm needed, wanted, loved. You can't get that because you hate. Learn to love and you'll be loved in return."

Then she turned to go. That final humiliation, of turning her double into a quivering wreck, was all she needed to do. And now she was going home. A noise caused her to turn, just as claws punctured her lungs and heart. Dragon's eyes widened as she saw the insanity in her opponents eyes.

* * *

><p>Death whistled through her teeth.<p>

"Ouch."

"Yes. Ouch."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>__Yes. Evil little me. Again. And so soon after the moon incident. It must look like I love trying to kill her. Well this is the bad time for Tora. Sorry!_


	63. The Dark Within

**Memories**

The Dark Within

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

* * *

><p>The X-Men watched in horror as the claws were drawn out of Tora's chest and her mouth moved silently. The look of shock was prominent there.<p>

"See how my enemies die!"

Logan snikted out his claws and almost stabbed the scream when Jean caught his hand. She was frowning.

"Pain. Shock. Calm. Power?"

"What?"

"Tora is feeling…powerful…"

As they watched, she pulled herself upright. Water was spilling out of the cuts, healing them. Healing? Then they watched as her fingers changed, becoming water. It spread through her whole body until there was not a piece of flesh in sight, just rolling waves. Red hair was now sea-spray. Clever hands a still pool. And when she spoke, it was the sound of a huge wave rushing towards them.

"Thank you. Now we are fully in control. And we love it. We are pure power. We're immortal. We are Dragon. We are Tora. We are one. Forever and ever. Eternity and Infinity. We are never separated. We are a human and we are a goddess. Never forget. When you go against a god, you can only hope to lose. Understand what we have become. We are everything you are not and we relish it. You will always want this power and you'll never have it. As long as there is history there will be Dragon and as long as there is Dragon there is Tora. And don't even try to end the universe to kill us. We'll survive it. We don't even need a body now. We are older than the universe and we will outlive it."

Scott looked at Jean.

"We?"

"Full bonding. No individuality. Just being. You stupid, **stupid** woman!"

"I thought Tora said it wasn't a god…"

"It's not. I think the power's gone to her head."

Poacher lashed out, claws sliding through water. And the beautiful, terrible thing leant over and whispered something in the flesh-woman's ear. They saw the widening of the eyes, the fear there. And then the scrabbling to try and get out whilst the thing that had once been Tora backed off.

"We are coming home."

Scott stared at the others.

"Get Forge's power-dampener online NOW!"

"Slim, what'cha think yer doing!"

"Saving us all. Now **shut up** Logan and let me get my job done."

Wolverine glowered but did as he was told for once.

* * *

><p>Death winced.<p>

"Power dampener on a fully bonded cosmic entity? Were they **insane**?"

"You don't **get** many fully bonded cosmic entities. Phoenix, Dragon and who else?"

* * *

><p>The waves span around and reformed into the Tora-Dragon. She had changed, giving herself the Dragon's wings and clawed feet. She started to walk towards them.<p>

"NOW!"

The dampener fired up, surrounding her in pink energy. She tilted her head and frowned.

"We won't hurt you."

"Tora, whatever you've done, change it back."

"Why should we?"

"Dragon, get out of Tora's mind."

"We are the same. There is no Tora, no Dragon. Just us."

"Tora…"

"Let us tell you a story. Once upon a time there was a being who was so lonely. And it found a perfect partner. They met and when they were ready they bonded. They became us."

"Tora… You aren't like this?"

"Who knows what there was before the universe began? We do. It wasn't all that interesting. People are so fun. We mean, before we had no idea there could be something called boredom yet almost every race creates it. Life amazes us. That's why Dragon wanted to live. And Tora wanted to know. She has a thirst for knowledge and Dragon offered her all of history. How could she deny it? And so Dragon protects Tora and Tora shows Dragon how life works. How to live, how to love, how to feel pain. At times Dragon thinks she got the better deal. Sure we're immortal but we are human. We have a family and somebody who loves us more than anything. Why should we split? We are strong."

"Tora, that's not you speaking…"

"It is Cyclops. Phoenix, tell him."

"You shouldn't be like this Tora."

"Tell him!"

"No."

The water charged towards the barriers. And went right through. Then her hand went to Jean's head.

"Tell them sister."

"NO!"

"TELL THEM!"

And the Phoenix was pulled from Jean's mind. It screamed and Jean screamed with it.

_Dragon wishes only to live! It will not harm her._

The water-woman released the bird who fell back into Jean. She was still screaming with pain after the force had been ripped from her mind. Tora turned, her face full of hope. And the red beam of light hit her straight through the chest. She staggered back, shock registering on a face that flashed back to it's normal scarred flesh before turning to water. Then a low sigh was uttered and the waves fell apart, crashing to the ground. Logan rounded on Scott.

"She didn't know what she was DOING!"

"She hurt Jean."

"SHE'S CONFUSED!"

"SCOTT!"

They turned and froze. The water was pooling back together, only it was stained the colour and viscosity of an oil-slick. Then, from the heart outwards, the water started to shimmer and the Dragon symbol appeared on her chest. Except…

The once bright-soft silver was now tarnished. And as the flesh area expanded, they saw what had happened. The aqua blue was now a deep burgundy, the colour of dried blood. Then her face appeared. And it became apparent what had happened.

There were no scars. Her eyes were totally silver, burning with a light so intense it was impossible to look into. A slight smile was playing over her lips. And then the Dragon burst into life around her. Only this time it was different. Instead of the beautiful and wise-looking Chinese dragon, it was huge and reptilian. Like the illustrations of the dragon that burnt and tore through all. And she screamed in a voice like glaciers, cold and immense.

"I am water and knowledge incarnate. I am the flow of time and what has been. Fear me, for now and forever, I am DRAGON!"

And the waves swirled, pushing the others back.

* * *

><p>Death sighed.<p>

"At least she was never as destructive as Phoenix."

"OI!"

"Oh, Jean you came back."

"Ah. Is this the point I get dismembered?"

"Yes."

"Ow."

_**A.N. **__Yes, another cliff-hanger. Yes, I enjoy making my characters life misery. And now is the time I feel I should point out that in Chapter 28 Phoenix meant dead dead, not 'dead' aka pretending to be dead for six months. I'll let you work that one out on your own. : ) Wha-ha-ha!_

_In other news, I'm putting up a poll on my profile about Memories and my other story Cells.  
><em>


	64. Falling into Darkness

**Memories**

Falling into Darkness

_Disclaimer: What do you think? _

_If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me._

She flew through space, the wonderful power dancing through her. Insanity reigned in her mind. She was terrible, beautiful but terrible. The way a pride of lions hunting is beautiful. The way a storm is beautiful. The way that the raging sea is beautiful. She laughed, an exhilarated, manic laugh. All of history was running through her head. And she loved it. So much power, so much knowledge. All hers. Once again she laughed, wildly. Nothing compared to this. Flying free and unfettered. No limits, no sanctions. For who would **dare** face Dragon's wrath? She found what she was looking for. Huge, dark, tugging. She closed her eyes and the immense gravity ceased to affect her. Moving closer to the black hole she sent out a claw. And started dragging worlds towards it. None dared challenge her. None…

Then she heard the scream and turned. Far enough away to avoid the gravitational pull of the black hole, a ship hovered. And a figure flew towards her.

"Dragon, please stop this madness…"

"Phoenix."

"Please stop this. You've not killed anyone, not like I did. Come home. Please."

Her green eyes met empty silver and saw no trace of humanity. Instead a rage was building there.

"Tora…?"

"You enjoyed tearing me to shreds and sending me into different universes, causing me to lose my powers. Let us see how you like it."

She moved so quickly that Jean wasn't ready. Silently she cursed. Tora was quick, always had been. She tried to flare up as Phoenix but the water claws held her tight.

"Die."

And she was flung into the black hole.

Screaming she reached out to Scott, trying to find the telepathic link. Instead she found Tora's empathic link. And in a final, desperate attempt to show her friend what she was, Jean sent her dying emotions to Dark Dragon.

The thing that wore Tora's body staggered. Pain, fear, sorrow and above all the feeling of betrayal were now coursing through her mind. And she saw a terrible, evil being who cared only for destruction. She raised her hands, looked at the tarnished silver.

"WHAT AM I?"

And she screamed, screamed as the human won through and realised what she had done. The reptilian dragon shattered and the old one burst into life around her. The solar systems caught in the black hole's pull were sent back, and Jean felt a hand catch hers and pull her out. Tora's eyes were shining silver, but with the gold irises.

"Sorry. So sorry."

And Phoenix was forced away by the water as Tora allowed the laws of physics to apply to her. She didn't scream as she was torn apart, atom by atom. Her lips moved.

"Logan…We could never hurt you. So this we have to do. _Carcajou_…We…**I**…love you."

And pain radiated into Jean's mind. Never-ending, never ceasing pain. Which was snuffed out as suddenly and easily as a candle.

"Tora…"

And Piotr caught her and carefully pulled her into the airlock, waited, then turned back to flesh.

Jean couldn't move, was stuck without the link that had bonded her to Tora. Then she heard a scream and Colossus pulled her up to the cockpit where Logan had his claws under Scott's jaw.

"I have **never **and **would never** do a thing like that to Jeannie. So what made it right for you to do it to Tora?"

"I…I…"

"She didn't understand and ya hurt her. Yer responsible for this Summers. The only reason ya ain't dead is I can't think up a good enough punishment. Yer goin' ta be the one to tell Jamie where his mother is? Nah, ya'll leave that ta me, won't ya."

"Logan…I…"

"Nothing ya can say will make this any better Summers. Can ya bring back the dead? No. So shut up."

Then Wolverine turned to Jean.

"That wasn't Tora. Please say it wasn't Tora."

She gulped.

"Logan, Dragon was and always was Tora."

And at that final piece of proof that she was dead, Logan stormed out of the cockpit. Kurt glared at Cyclops and went after him.

* * *

><p>Death winced.<p>

"Ow?"

Phoenix nodded.

"Yes. Ow."

The woman laughed.

"Oh, it hurts. So much. Your legs are travelling faster than your head so you break in two and then you break in half again and again and again. It's the most horrible way to die imaginable."

"I thought having total body death when the universe burned away was pretty bad."

"Yes. Well, you were the one doing the burning."

"It still hurt."

* * *

><p>Blackness. Complete blackness. And then she tried to move and found she had no body.<p>

_Am I dead?_

_Yes and No._

_Yes and No? What sort of answer is that?_

_The truth._

_What am I?_

_You are totally human once more._

_Where am I?_

_The Library._

_What library._

_The Library of All. The Ice-Cold Library._

_Huh?_

_Can we stop playing 20 Questions?_

Lights flared up and she was in a huge room filled with row upon row of books. Tora looked around in confusion.

_If I'm not dead, then can I go back?_

_You'll need to rebuild your body first._

_My body?_

_You were torn into your composite atoms._

_I'm not a telekinetic!_

_Well you'll have to do it the hard way._

_How?_

_By going into the black hole and gathering your atoms, bringing them here and letting me help rebuild you._

_Can I see you?_

_I am a part of you._

Frowning, Tora glanced down at herself and did a double take. She was dressed in black with the silver gloves, boots, belt and symbol of the Dragon.

_What am I?_

_You are me._

_That really makes sense._

_Everything does._

_I was being __**sarcastic**__._

_Yes. But I find it easier to pretend you weren't._

_Are we __**bickering**__?_

_I would say we are._

Unable to help herself, the shade of Tora burst out into bubbling, joyful laughter.

_Am I a ghost?_

_No. You are the mind and soul. We just need the body._

_How do I get it?_

And she was somewhere she recognized and there were a stream of atoms she could suddenly see.

_How can I see them?_

_You are me. I see all._

_Riiight._

She flicked her non-existent wrist and began gathering up the base elements. This was going to take a **long** time.

* * *

><p>The three women sighed.<p>

"Molecular rearrangement takes ages."

"Tell me about it."

"Building a body out of atoms? Ouch."

"Very ouch."

"Is it just me or are we started to sound like Jan, Sue and Carol?"

"Oh. We are… HELP!"


	65. Those Left Behind

**Memories**

Those Left Behind

_Disclaimer: What do you think? _

_If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me._

Jamie looked at his dad. Logan almost thought for a second he knew what had happened. But how could he? He closed his eyes and held Jamie close. He was the most physical proof there was that Tora had ever existed. He'd heard her final call over Jean's comm. The way she'd struggled and regained her individuality in time to say she loved him made it hurt all the more. He heard Scott making the announcement to the students and held Jamie closer. He wondered what his birth mother was like. All Etana had told him was he had been an orphan when he came to her. Was she always caring for him like Tora cared for Jamie? Did she hate him? Did she die when he was a baby or when he was older? Logan gazed into the ice-blue eyes the exact shape of Tora's. Somehow this was both worse and easier than last time. No. There hadn't been a last time. Her death had been faked. This time it was for real. It was easier as Jamie was there, someone who was relying on him for care. But it hurt so much to look at him and see Tora there. The way he tilted his head when interested in something was identical to Tora. When he did something that reminded Logan of her, it felt like she was dead all over again.

"Just you and me now kid."

And with the uncanny knowledge of babies everywhere, Jamie started to cry, snuggling up to the person he trusted second most in the world. Third were big blue fuzzy and black feathery who wasn't here. As well as being perceptive, babies are rubbish at names. Elfy blue fuzzy was funny but not to be trusted. He made funny smells. But Mama wasn't there. Mama should be there. Dada was there and he was sad. Why was Dada sad? Mama. Where was Mama? MAMA! And Jamie did what he always did when he wanted Mama. He cried. But Mama didn't come. Mama? Mama? MAMA!

* * *

><p>Jean winced.<p>

"He cried day and night. I hated it."

"Do we see your death?"

"You **would** ask that wouldn't you?"

"I have a vested interest in that field."

* * *

><p>Logan sat on the seat that had been placed in <strong>their<strong> clearing. There was no grave and the clone that had been used to fake her death, as with the clone Poacher had used to trick Tora, had both been cremated. No grave, no place to grieve. Mainly people went to Etana's grave. Blinking back the tears, he opened his hand to reveal the little silver cross Kurt had given her that first Christmas. She would remove Etana's necklace, but her cross, wedding and engagement rings and the soul band would remain on. She'd taken the necklace off for the Open Day for some reason. The other jewellery had fallen with her. Pressing his head to the cold metal he tried to cry. He couldn't cry. He couldn't cry. Why?

"Logan…"

"Jeannie. What's wrong?"

She was crying, hard angry tears.

"Scott. And Emma. AND I FOUND OUT FROM A STUDENT!"

"Jeannie…"

"Did you know? DID YOU?"

"No Red. I didn't."

She was crying on his shoulder and he let her. But he drew back when her lips brushed his.

"No."

"Why not? You always wanted too."

"That was then Jeannie. This is now. You're married. And I am too."

"Wrong Logan. You're a widower. Tora's dead."

"She's Missing Presumed Dead until further notice."

"I could understand if it was Missing in Action, but Logan, she's dead."

"And so were you."

"One kiss can't hurt."

"It does Jean. Tora was…is yer best friend. And you'd betray her trust."

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!"

"It is Red. It is."

"Logan…"

"I'm not going to be your way of getting back at Scott."

"It's not…"

"Bye Jeannie."

_Logan, turn around __**right**__ now._

He snarled.

"Don't pull that stunt on me."

"Logan…"

"Back off Jeannie."

And he marched away, leaving Jean to stand shocked and wonder what on Earth she had just done.

* * *

><p>"Yes, I still feel terrible about that."<p>

"So you should."

"Well at least it turned out to be Shadow King making me do that."

"Says you."

"IT WAS! And can we skip my death, I don't want to have to watch it all over again."

"Ahem."

"No offence meant, no offence meant at all."

"It's fine."

"Death, do you remember when Phoenix and you first met and you put me on building duty?"

"How could I forget?"

"Or you, no Death, not you, and I first met?"

"Oh yes. That was…interesting."

"To say the least. How long did it take us to stop baying at each others throats?"

"Quite a while…"

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>I'll be without a good internet connection for a while so if I don't update, don't worry. I'm just writing even more_._ I'm up to Chapter 67 (Fluffy Bunnies) already. Please remember to review, it makes my day!_


	66. Bad Dreams

**Memories**

Bad Dreams

_Disclaimer: What do you think? _

_If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me._

_She turned to face him. Her eyes were totally silver and there was no trace of Tora in them. She raised a hand and the waves shot into Scott's chest, driving him back until he hit the walls of the mansion. Kurt was caught by a watery claw and screamed as it started to crush him. He teleported and Dark Dragon turn her attention to Logan. A smile tugged at her lips, both sides of her mouth able to move with the scars now gone._

"_Little Logan. Never able to save those he loves. Come to me little Wolverine."_

_And unable to help himself, drawn like a moth to the flame, he walked to her. And a vice-like hand tightened around his neck. _

"_I could kill you right now. I should kill you. Then the weak in me will fall."_

_He couldn't move, couldn't act as her silver eyes burned into his skull. Then she kissed him, like she knew it was their last, and flung him aside. The Dragon's wings opened and she shot into the air, leaving for space…and her death._

Logan sat bolt upright, gasping for breath. The memories, always coming back to haunt him. The inhuman eyes, the wild hair, the face that didn't look like hers due to the lack of scars. The final, passionate kiss before she left. He shoved the covers off him and walked to the window. A week ago they'd stood gazing out and pointing out images they saw in the clouds. Why? He remembered her pointing out a cat and him seeing a beer bottle, at which point she'd laughed. She hadn't been able to stop, her eyes sparkling in the dying sunlight.

_She'd been so free and happy in that single moment of joy. And unable to help himself, he'd caught her waist and made her laugh even more. And the way she'd breathed her love in his ear. Later, much later, she had turned serious and looked at him, her golden eyes thoughtful._

"_Logan, I don't know if I ever **will** be able to die."_

"_What's the sudden change of mood for?"_

"_I am Dragon. I will endure for eternity. And you saw how Etana was in the end. Alone, apart from the world. I don't want that. I want you with me. I can give you that."_

"_No."_

"_Logan…"_

"_I don't want eternity."_

"_But what if…what if you die and I can't?"_

"_Live. Get on with life. Learn to love another."_

"_I will **never **love anyone but you. This I swear."_

"_Don't make a promise you can't keep."_

"_I swear I will never love another like I love you."_

"_Don't make plans for the future."_

"_What if I'm like Jean. Dying and being reborn each time."_

"_Then I'll wait for you."_

_Smiling, she had embraced him then allowed him to plant a kiss on her forehead. She seemed almost asleep._

"_Love you Carcajou."_

"_I know darling. I love you too."_

_Carcajou_. Her pet name for him, used only in private. Wolvie was bad enough. Knowing Tora called…had called…him Carcajou would lead to car nicknames. Or worse. Again, he tried to cry. But he couldn't. It was like he still hadn't accepted she was dead. The photo on her side of the bed was of them together, holding Jamie. She was looking down at Jamie, but still looking at Logan who was holding him. Then, more in anger than anything else, he slammed the photo facedown onto the wood. And slumped back onto the bed. He felt despair, anger and annoyance but no grief. He guessed he was in denial. Then he felt something under the pillow. Frowning, he tugged out a book. Opening it, he found sketch after sketch, all of different worlds, all captioned in Tora's looped handwriting. She seemed to have come up with nicknames for the different universes.

_First glimpse of Logan in Witchkin World. See pg. 12._

_Etana & Steve from Witchkin._

_Earth as seen from Doom's Doom. See pg. 18._

_Age Of Apocalypse. Weapon X and Jean Grey. As seen when pens were destroyed. Unfortunately, contact was not made._

_Final stand of the heroes. My World._

He frowned. This final image showed a rag-tag bunch of heroes, Cyclops, Cap and Hawkeye charging towards the artist. He flipped the page over to find a transcript of events.

_Cap: Tora, stop this NOW!_

_I: Flee Captain. I do not want to kill you._

_Hawkeye: You killed everyone else Dragon. Why not us?_

_Scott: Stand down._

_I: Why should I? I rule this world. You are revolutionaries. _

_Cap: You would be a dictator…_

_I: Says the man who has allied himself to Doom. I have healed this world. Starvation is a thing of the past. No war, except for what **you** initiated._

_Scott: You destroyed everything Tora. How many have you killed? Ororo! JEAN! **LOGAN**! How many more?_

_I: Unless you stand aside, then three. I don't want this. I am willing to offer you a place in this world._

_Cap: You have killed hundreds with your own hands. Millions have died on your orders._

_I: And no more will die._

_At this point Hawkeye unleashes an arrow._

_I: This is how you respond to my offer? Then die._

_Hawkeye is aged until he becomes dust. _Her handwriting had wavered slightly as if she couldn't believe what she'd done.

_Cap: MURDERER!_

_I: I mean no harm. I would rather not kill you._

_Scott: You killed Jean. Killed your own **husband**. Tora, how could you?_

_I: It…it wasn't easy. Logan refused to see my dream. Of all the deaths, I regret his the most. But see what I have done. We were trapped, **trapped** in our endless cycle of death and destruction and hate._

_Cap: Tora…_

_I: Don't lecture me Steve. See what I have achieved. I am healing this world. I have given **everything**! Love, family, friends. _

_I was unable to watch anymore. Suffice to say, Steve and Scott did not survive._

He flicked through more pages and saw world after world of destruction and pain. Each one faithfully detailed, described and drawn. Details of crimes Tora had committed and prevented. And at the back, a list of ways she died. From molecular dismemberment to losing her healing. Each one numbered, dated and with a dry comment. She had never mentioned this, never spoken of the pain. Yet she confided in a tiny notebook, spine worn with use. Angry and slightly hurt he threw the book to the other side of the room. Secrets, always secrets. A page had fallen out. Frowning he picked it up and smoothed out the creases.

_Spoke with Etana today. She said that sometimes, dying to save the world from yourself is harder than dying to save the world from someone else. I think I know what she means. I asked her what the hardest thing she has ever done was. She told me it was knowing that people she cared about were going to die and not being able to do anything about it. I asked if it was like Cap's accident. She went all silent and then turned and told me that someone had offered her the choice to rescue Cap. She watched him fall. Returned to her village and found them slaughtered. By not acting, only watching, two things that mattered to her were lost. Maybe she needs some time alone… I am sort of crowding her. But she is like a teacher at times. My tutor in this maze of worlds. She…knows what I am and taught me how to remain in my world. Logan keeps me here and now but Etana challenges me to use my gift and to dance between the worlds as lightly as a feather. Between a rock and anchor such as Logan and an offer such as what she gives me, how can I choose? Sometimes she acts like a teenager. I blame Steve for this. Since the time he kissed her in front of everyone, Etana's been so much…freer with her emotions. And slightly reckless. I suppose, no longer knowing what will happen means a great burden has been taken off her back. Hark to me, I'm rambling. I miss Etana. Has it only been a year since she died? It feels like longer. I still wonder exactly who she is. I-_

The writing was cut off, as if she had been called away. And Steve? Cap? With Etana? That must have been one of her more insane realities. Like Cap would ever be anything more than a friend of Etana. But so much she wouldn't tell him, so many secrets. Why? Then he picked up the book and found the message in the front.

_Happy Birthday Logan! Long piece of my ramblings because you're always asking me to tell you what's on my mind._

He was as well. She'd obviously started it and never had the chance to finish it. He flicked through it again, seeing now the comments that he had taken as personal reflections and now saw as notes to him.

_Memories, not sure of accuracy, from Earth-1610. In this world, I seem to have been born in WWII. Met Logan's unit as a Resistance fighter, ended up getting married. He got arrested, I went with him and we were experimented on. You know, the usual torture etc. Had a son, James, aka Jimmy. Given to Mac for safekeeping after Magneto tried to take him from me and raise him. I've been living wild since Victor Creed attempted to kill me after I had an argument about Jimmy's future with Magneto._

It was a drawing of a café and three soldiers sitting together laughing. One was obviously him, another he didn't know and the third… the third had a Fury look about him but it couldn't be… Nick wasn't black. But the caption caused him to frown.

_Privates Fisk and Fury with Sergeant Howlett._

Howlett. Cap had called him that. Was that his real name? He flicked further through the book, finding sketches, including one of Etana sitting in a throne-like chair with someone who looked like him standing beside her.

_Witchkin World. Semi-medieval in technology. Mutants are used as slaves. Ferals consider themselves to be separate, calling themselves Wildkin and serving the Father Wild-King. I was captured and bought by Logan, vassal of Lady Shadow. There, I ended up in a great deal of trouble for my rather rebellious attitude, not to mention I treated Logan as an inferior for becoming 'domesticated'. More to follow._

Each picture was carefully detailed and captioned. Worlds where they lived in space, where they lost pivotal battles, where heroes were different and above all, where mutants were accepted. He reached the end of her writing and flicked through the empty pages. He wasn't crying. Instead he was smiling, seeing the care she had put into this for him. Her humour, not quite as undeveloped as certain students thought it was, shone through. He wanted to laugh. Some of her remarks were so tongue-in-cheek, they would have him laughing in other circumstances. Instead, he contented himself with a slight smile. He placed the book back where it had come from and turned the photo back up.

"Night darlin'."

And he switched the light off, knowing there would be no more bad dreams.

* * *

><p>"So <strong>that's<strong> where the notebook came from. He was always flicking through it, reading it at mission briefings and so on."

"**Wolverine** read at mission briefings? I'm…impressed."

"Well, the book looks interesting…"

* * *

><p>Tora sighed. She hated piecing together the ionic lattices. And don't get her started on the covalent networks. She was beginning to hate her own body. Not to mention the hellishly tricky structure of adamantium. Sighing, she decided that she wasn't going to have her hair as long as it had been. And she might have to drop some of the muscle tissue. She reached into her for Dragon<p>

_How much longer will this take?_

_You are nearly there._

_How long has passed on Earth?_

_Around a fortnight._

_A fortnight?_

_Time has no meaning here._

_You still haven't properly explained where **here** is._

_You still haven't master twelve dimensions. You're not ready for the explanation of the Library. Even the easiest version requires thought processes in eighteen!_

_Oh. Then give me the idiots' version._

_Big room. Lots of books. Books contain all knowledge. Biographies etc._

_There, that wasn't too bad. Wait. Biographies?_

_Works in progress cannot be changed._

_Fichu._

She sighed and went back to unravelling the polymer chains. This was wrecking her eyesight. If she had eyes that was.

* * *

><p>"I hate doing that."<p>

"Yes, building new bodies are a pain."

"It's easier to reanimate a cadaver."

"The body had been destroyed."

"Then it would be easier to make a whole new body instead of rearranging the old one."

"Yes, OK. We don't need hindsight to make you all cocky."

"But it's true…"

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>I'm aiming for 100 reviews by Chapter 75. Sorry about the delay but I've been without an Internet connection. However, I've written to 71 of Memories and 33 of Cells._


	67. Fluffy Bunnies

**Memories**

Fluffy Bunnies

_Disclaimer: What do you think? _

_If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me._

"Tora wasn't just some woman. Ya gotta understand that."

"Yer drunk Logan."

"Not quite. But I'm givin' it a damn good try. But Tora… She could hold her own in any battle… Never backed down… Stubborn as a mule and with a kick three times as good… Best field agent Fury ever met… I loved her…"

"Logan, yer drunk."

"Maybe."

"Yerv drunk enough to fell an army. Even yer healing can't keep up wi that amount."

"Only just realised she'd dead… So came down here… Decided ta try and get drunk… Last time I managed it…I was…can't remember…it's almost impossible fer me ta get drunk… But I think I've managed it."

He rocked back slightly. Even his healing factor couldn't keep up with a glass every few minutes. **Especially** when the glasses spiralled right across the bar.

"Right old man, lets get you home."

"Elf?"

"Charles told me you'd be here. Now come on. You're going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow."

"It'll be gone in five minutes…"

"Yes. But you still have a hangover."

"Makes me forget…"

"Right. We're getting you home **now**."

Kurt hauled Logan up and dragged him outside. He'd only seen Logan drunk once before and that was the night after 'Tora's' funeral. After that he'd been cranky for a day. Odd. This time, it hadn't been Tora's death, but Jean's that had driven him over the edge. The idea that the two most powerful X-Women, even if one denied it vehemently, could die within two weeks of one another, had been inconceivable. But Tora had destroyed her inner gorgon in a way so final and absolute, it was likely she would never return. And the Magneto impostor had seen to it that Jean died in agony. Scott had taken it badly. But Logan had taken it even worse. Therefore, he was drinking in a grubby, rather shady establishment on the edge of town. Somehow, Kurt had the feeling Logan wouldn't be drunk by the time he got home, but when he woke up, the hangover would kill him for about five minutes before his healing kicked in. Normally, Tora would have found him, dragged him home and given him a pack of breath-mints before he went this deep into a drunken stupor. But Tora wasn't here. Sighing, Kurt managed to get Logan into the pick-up and drove home quickly. Sometimes, Wolverine was more trouble than he was worth.

* * *

><p>Laughing, the three cosmic entities, two nestled inside human minds, leant on each other's shoulders. Millennia of playing safe and keeping in with immortals had created a bond of trust and friendship that was almost impossible to break.<p>

"I never knew my death had such an…adverse…affect on him…"

"You and me both sweetheart."

"DEATH!"

"What?"

"Where did you pick up those ridiculous colloquialisms?"

"Reeve spent a lot of time with the Avengers, remember?"

"Reeve? Death's Apprentice? The one with the half burned body and the skeleton on the other side?"

"That's him."

"He used to freak me out."

* * *

><p>Tora stepped backwards, as much as a being of mind and soul can 'step'. A body, fully assembled, was in front of her.<p>

_Finished!_

_Finally. You were getting rather…tiring._

Moi_? You tell a lie._

_You were moaning and moaning about how bored you were and so on._

_Maybe… So how do I get back into my body? And how do I get back._

_Step into it as if you were getting into clothes. Then step into the pool yonder._

_You actually said **yonder**. I'm impressed._

_I felt poetic language should be used. Now, I believe you wish to return home?_

_You bet I do._

_Then slip back into your body._

Tora moved forward and felt the comforting flesh and bone slip into place. Her mind found it's niche and her soul went…**somewhere**. She wasn't certain exactly **where**.

She flexed her arms. The well-defined muscles had been forfeited for a quicker return. She had a feeling Scott would have her back on intensive training for over a month to make up for the loss of strength.

_I'm ready._

_Then walk into the pool and concentrate on where you want to be._

The water was cool, but not unpleasantly so. Frowning, Tora thought the same two words over and over again.

_Jamie's Room, Jamie's Room, Jamie's Room, Jamie's Room, Jamie's Room, Jamie's Room._

Her head sunk under the water and suddenly colours blurred to form the bedroom. She gasped as air, **real, fresh** **air** filled her lungs. Scents drove her nose wild and her eyes, having not been used for about a month, struggled to adjust.

_I'm home… I'm HOME!_

She laughed, happily and freely. Suddenly the door burst open and Logan charged in.

"GET AWAY FROM MY SON YOU… Tora?"

"_Salut_. Do you **know** how long it takes to rebuild your body from the individual atoms?"

"Tora…"

"I've been trying to find out where a **single** carbon atom went because my body wasn't working."

"Tora? Oh… Why? Tora…"

"It's me Logan."

Then the claws were under her throat.

"Prove it.

"You hog the duvet, complain about me playing Queen but happen to love 'Crazy Little Thing Called Love' and 'Another One Bites the Dust'. You hate me waking you up before seven, unless I'm prepared to stay in bed until half-eight. You're ticklish on the soles of your feet and you like calling me _Taiguresu_ when we're-"

And now he believed because deep down he wanted to.

"OK, OK. Tora, please don't let this be some sort of cruel trick."

"I'm back _Carcajou_. You aren't getting rid of me that easily. I was sort of busy for the last… How long have I been gone?"

"A month…"

"Well, for a month I've been trying to rebuild my body. I didn't think you would like me back incorporeal. I think the others should know. Where's Jean and 'Ro? We're overdue a long chat over coffee."

Logan fidgeted nervously.

"Logan?"

"Jean… Tora, Jean died last week."

She froze, the smile on her face turning into open-mouthed shock.

"What…? How…?"

"Magneto… gave her a stroke. She possibly could have healed but…"

"But?"

"I don't know… When Scott was caught with- No. I shouldn't tell you…"

"Logan."

It was her warning tone, the words used when she was leaning on the edge towards anger.

"What did Scott do?"

"Tora… He swears it was nothin' more and it sure smelled that way but…"

"But?"

"Jean found him with Emma Frost."

"Right."

It was her dangerous voice. Her pupils had a roaring dragon in them.

"Right."

"Tora?"

"I think I'm going to have a little word with our fearless leader."

"Tora, please don't… The others will want to know you're back… Tora…"

She marched out of the room, ignoring his pleas to calm down and let the others know she was back before she smashed Scott's head through a wall. Students who saw the wiry woman who still hadn't changed out of her blue Dragon costume dropped what they were carrying and stared. Hank, who happened to pass in the corridor stopped, turned and ran after her.

"Tora. Tora? I think you should come with me to the Medi-Lab just… Tora? Logan, what's she doing?"

"I'd say she's going to do something horrible to One-Eye."

"You told her? Logan…"

"Look, she asked for Jean. Can you go and tell the others?"

Muttering about Canadians who should know better, Hank ran off to find the others. Logan managed to keep up with Tora until she reached Scott's office. Not even bothering to knock, she pushed the door open.

"Tora? You're back? That's…that's great…"

She didn't answer. Instead, she raised a fist up and chikted out her claws. Water swirled around them. Then Scott saw Logan standing behind her, looking slightly guilty.

"Tora…?"

"_Vous…Vous connard!_"

She slammed her other fist into Scott's nose. The glasses he was wearing cracked, allowing a splinter of red light to fly out. Cyclops managed to fit his glasses back in place but wasn't ready for the knee brought to his groin.

"_Vous __mensonge, tricherie__ bâtard!_"

"Tora…?"

"_Je __**vais m'assurer **__que vous __**n'avez**__** jamais**__ plus avoir d'enfants__, __si c'est __la dernière chose que__ je fais_."

Logan managed to grab her arm before she sliced Scott's face. As much as Scott deserved a good slap for treating Jeannie like that, he didn't deserve an angry Tora castrating him. He was surprised Tora had sworn. Normally, she preferred not to use profanities. Now she was cursing with the best of them. He would have to get Remy to translate what she was screaming at Scott right now.

"_Puissiez-vous__ mourir d'une mort__ lente et douloureuse__ impliquant__ lapins__ pelucheux__!_"

"_Des lapins pelucheux?_"

Gambit had arrived and his red-on-black eyes were wide with shock.

"Remy, help me here."

"_Des __**lapins**__ pelucheux?_"

"Remy!"

"_Des lapins __**pelucheux**__?_"

"_Monty Python __et le Saint Graal._"

"Ah."

Kurt and Ororo soon turned up and managed to restrain Tora, whose screams had Remy rolling on the floor laughing.

Finally, the others dragged her out, still screaming death threats. Scott turned to Remy.

"Gambit, what was she saying."

"Da _femme_, da _femme_…she say, she hopes you die a slow and painful death… involving… involving… **fluffy bunnies**."

And unable to hold it in any longer, Gambit started laughing so hard he fell over.

"Fluffy bunnies?"

"_J'ai __**dit**__ qu'elle était__en colère!_"

A final scream flowed down the corridor. It sounded like Tora was more than a little mad.

* * *

><p>"I'm touched at her care."<p>

"I thought that was very un-Tora-like of her."

"She had just spent ages rebuilding her body. She was allowed to be grumpy."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>And let that be a lesson to never cheat on your wife when her best friend (who may or may not be dead) is 'dead' and then let your wife die, so when her friend comes back, she has an extra reason to hate you._


	68. Très Tora

**Memories**

_Très Tora_

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"Someone sedate her!"

"We don't have anything to sedate her **with**!"

"I. Am. Going. To. Kill. Scott."

"Can't we just, I don't know, let her get it out?"

"Get it out? She'd kill Scott!"

"Good point."

"What's wrong? Dragon?"

"Emma Frost."

Tora lunged forwards, her eyes glowing silver. Hank pulled her back before she got to Emma.

"After Scott, you're next."

"Who told her?"

Sheepishly, Logan raised a hand.

"And you didn't tell her **what** Jean said to Scott when she died?"

"She ran off before I got around to it."

"What did she say? What did my sister say?"

"Live Scott. All I ever did was die on you."

Tora sniffed the air but was apparently satisfied. At any rate, she stopped struggling.

"I'm still not talking to Scott."

"I think I understand that."

"And Ms Frost, this doesn't mean we're friends."

"Of course, **Mrs** Logan. Friendship requires a bond of trust. You don't trust me to be a good guy, I don't trust you not to have a repeat of your breakdown where you may have killed the late Mrs Grey-Summers."

There was silence and then Tora burst out laughing.

"Emma Frost. As imperturbable as ever."

"Tora Logan. As uninhibited as ever."

"I do have limits. I just chose to ignore them in your gracious presence."

Logan and most of the other staff just looked blankly as the two women smiled at each other. Hank tried to grab Tora when she jumped up but didn't drag her off when she leant over and pressed her cheeks to Emma's in quick succession.

"I think you may grow on me White Queen."

"And you on me. I must say though, fluffy bunnies?"

"Etana told me about Monty Python. She then strapped a power inhibitor around my neck and made me sit through the Holy Grail."

"Etana did that? Wait. Monty Python?"

"Yes. And the Goodies and the Goons and the Comic Strip. She said the British at least have satire down to a tee and the use of understatement in certain comedy acts made them all the funnier."

"She said we weren't funny?"

"No. She said she preferred British humour. Yes, Minister and so on. I think it was her distrust of authority. And I found the Discworld books in her apartment."

"Discworld?"

"I did say she was full of surprises. She also had Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. All the books. And the film. And the TV series. And the radio series."

"Are we talking about the same person here?"

"Tall, black fur and wings, tail, over three thousand years old? Yes, we're talking about the same person."

"She didn't strike me as the sort to-"

"Tell me about it."

And suddenly they were smiling slightly at each other. Hank looked at Logan who shrugged. Sometimes, Tora was rather unpredictable. This was one of those times.

"But Ms Frost, I feel I have to ask."

"Yes?"

"Don't you ever get cold?"

The White Queen couldn't hold it in any longer and started giggling. Tora soon joined in and Hank started to scan her to see if she had any brain damage. In the end he concluded that she must be feeling ambivalent towards Emma and was willing to forgive. When Scott turned up however, her eyes flashed silver.

"I haven't forgotten **or** forgiven yet Scott."

Cyclops simply nodded and hurried off. He had a feeling Tora probably could kill him with a rabbit. At least she wasn't trying to strangle Emma.

* * *

><p>Jean sighed.<p>

"I suppose they were sort of going to end up friends. Both rather sarcastic, both with a darkish streak and then they were both totally devoted to the students at the school."

"Opposites attract huh?"

"No, not exactly."

* * *

><p>Tora was walking in the corridor, discussing the finer points of the English language with Emma. They were having an argument about the lack of gender made it easier to learn when Scott went past. To most people, the two women didn't react. Looking closer however, Emma's glance at him was clear, as was Tora's clenched fists. White Queen glanced at the woman she was beginning to think of as…not a friend, but an ally.<p>

"Why are you still angry at him, but not angry with me?"

"Because… It's complicated. You fell in love with him, which wasn't your fault. I've fallen in love with someone without even realizing it for heaven's sake. It's not all bad. Even Etana…"

She trailed off as if she realized she had said too much.

"What do you mean you fell in love without realizing it?"

"I didn't understand love. I split things into emotions and physical. There was no wish for physicality. Just an emotion towards Logan I couldn't comprehend. I didn't mention it until he kissed me. And that's when I realized there had been physical side effects as well. It was complicated."

"And Etana?"

"That is private between me and Discus-Boy. Suffice to say, he was cut up at the news of her death and allowed his guard to drop, confirming my suspicions. But let's get back to you and Scott. Scott swore to be faithful to Jean. You made no such promise. And even when you told him you loved him, Scott could still have refused you. Heavens knows, Jean used to refuse Logan all the time. But no, Scott let himself be tempted and didn't resist. That's why I feel that he was to blame. If you'd forced yourself on him, messed with his mind, then yes, I would probably hate you. But he made that decision of his own free choice. Look, like I said, it's complicated."

"I wonder how many people see the logic you possess."

"Tell me about it. I have claws and enhanced senses. I'm not supposed to be smart, or one of the best covert operatives in the world."

"And you're not supposed to be the avatar to the Phoenix Force's sister. An honour normally reserved for a telepath."

"One, I'm a reverse telepath. No one can get in but I can talk to the other versions of myself. Two, if you want Dragon, you can have it. If you don't object to having spiteful remarks made about your relationship with Scott."

"I detect a certain dislike of me from Dragon."

"Hold on a sec. I'm giving it control of my larynx and tongue."

"Ms Frost. A pleasure to be sure. Have you finished torturing the spirit of my sister? Or will I have to-"

"Sorry. It's quite outspoken at times…"

Emma gaped. Tora's voice hadn't changed but the tone had. There had been a deep-rooted hatred in Dragon's words while Tora had a slightly friendly tone when addressing her. Not to mention Tora's slight accent, not quite strong enough to pin her down as a French-speaker, but enough to make it obvious she wasn't American and Dragon's thick accent that Emma couldn't quite place. When that happened, a shiver had went up White Queen's spine.

"Don't let that thing take control anywhere near me."

"Of course, _ma amie._"

"Did you mean that?"

"What?"

"_Ma amie_?"

"What do you think Emma?"

"You meant it?"

"Of course."

Smiling at the slightly shocked look on her companions face, Tora walked halfway down the corridor before turning back.

"We're X-Men. We look out for our own and protect them. We are team-mates and colleagues but firstly we are friends before we are X-Men. _Compris_?"

Emma tilted her head forward.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For trusting me."

"Who said anything about trust Emma? I don't trust you. I'm just friends with you."

"I thought friendship implied trust."

"We'll get there Emma. We'll get there."

* * *

><p>"They did end up as friends, didn't they?"<p>

"Of course. What with the whole splitting of the X-Men, sometimes they needed two people with half an ounce of sense between them to act as liaisons. They met up a lot in order to share information and so Logan sometimes had a halfway decent telepath."

* * *

><p>"WHAT! Charles, you can't be serious."<p>

"I hate to go against you Professor, but Dragon is right."

"I'm sorry but my mind is made up. You and Tora have been at each other's throats ever since her return. I can't get into Tora's mind to give you some telepathic meeting ground. So I'm sending you to an official physiatrist to work out your differences."

"Please Charles. If they want to go into my childhood, what am I supposed to say?"

"The physiatrist happens to know that I run the X-Men. Therefore, she will be ready for almost anything you tell her."

"Professor, this is a bad idea."

"Nonsense. The two of you must work out your differences."

He hovered out, leaving Tora sitting looking blankly at the wall and Scott swearing under his breath.

* * *

><p>Phoenix and Death both burst into fits of giggles.<p>

"They sent them to a **shrink**?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Unfortunate for who?"

* * *

><p>"So, Scott and Tora. I am Dr Reese. According to my friend, the two of you are not speaking and refuse to be courteous to one another when previously you were amiable. Can you tell me why? Tora, would you like to go first?"<p>

"I plead the Fifth."

The physiatrist gave Tora a look that just said 'Oh %$£'.

"Scott?"

"Tora was a friend, a close friend of my wife. She, Tora, went…away… for a month. When she returned, my wife had died after I…I"

"After you were caught cheating on her."

"Scott?"

"Er…that was pretty much it."

"Why didn't Tora know your wife had died?"

"I imagine being dead at the time would be the reason."

Dr Reese's mouth fell open.

"You were…dead. In a coma?"

"No. Dead. Kaput. Torn apart atom by atom."

"Can you tell me what being dead was like?"

"Boring. I was in a freezing library, piecing my body back together."

"Er…"

"Of course, death for me is different from death for almost everyone else."

"Could you tell me why?"

"Well, it's a long story. You see, Dr Doom decided to use me to end the world. A cosmic entity by the name of Dragon helped me out and sort of decided to stay. Well, after a while I had a minor…breakdown and tried to end the universe. I committed suicide and found myself in a big Gothic library and was told I couldn't die as Dragon, an immortal, had linked itself with my mind and soul. However, my body was a different matter altogether. So… that's how I ended up piecing my body back together in a freezing library."

Dr Reese made a note then looked back up.

"I feel you may need to come back on your own Ms Logan."

"Dragon, can you show our friend here that I'm telling the truth?"

The dragon flared around her and gazed at the unfortunate physiatrist.

_I greet you Doctor. I am Dragon, water and life renewed. I also deal with knowledge, as my sister deals with thought. It's complicated. Will you believe me?_

"Er…"

_It is of no matter. I must say, I will be reading your biography later. I do apologise for leading to your nervous breakdown._

Scott snorted. Tora turned and frowned.

"Scott?"

"Tora, have you been teaching a cosmic entity your personal branch of sarcasm?"

_I like sarcasm. And satire. Although Tora's sense of humour may be rubbing off on me._

Tora blinked then burst out laughing.

"Sorry Slim. It's just a little annoying to come back and find out your best friend died and her husband had been cheating on her with an ex-villain."

"I feel pretty bad about that. Are you talking to me again?"

"What do you think **idiot**?"

"You're talking to me?"

"Well, in Jubilee's words, **duh**."

"Dr Reese, it seems you have done your job very well. Thank you."

"Mmmm-urrr."

* * *

><p>Phoenix and Death started laughing.<p>

"That is very like her I must admit."

"_Très Tora, oui_?"

"Yes, very Tora."


	69. Whe Wana?

**Memories**

Whe Wana?

Disclaimer: What do you think? If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Piotr frowned and tried again. Tora looked at him blankly.

"Speak Russian or English Piotr."

"I am speaking Russian."

Her hands flew to her mouth.

"I **knew **I shouldn't have cut corners. I dropped a few of my data-chips. According to Kurt, my German was rusty."

She hurried down to the lab and had a hurried conversation, followed by tests which came up with an odd result.

"Budge up. I want to see why you all like TV so much."

"Ah thought you couldn't see the movement."

"I couldn't. However, I sort of forgot to rebuild the chip that speed up my image processing."

"So we can show you all these films you **have** to watch."

"Maybe."

"Great. Girls night in tonight, with everyone bringing a movie for Tora to watch!"

"Oh dear."

* * *

><p>"So, what did she think of it?"<p>

"She hated romantic movies, liked action thrillers and fell in love with classic Disney stop-motion, especially Beauty and the Beast, Mulan and Lion King."

"Hated romantic movies?"

"Did like Austin though."

"Favourite film?"

"Can't remember."

* * *

><p>"Happy Birthday Jamie."<p>

Jamie wondered what the fuss was about. Maman had been back ages. Why were the aunts and uncles throwing a party now? He mentally shrugged. Then he noticed someone important wasn't there.

"Whe Wana?"

"Did he say something?"

"Whe Wana?"

"I think he's saying something. Get Tora Eloise. Jamie's saying something."

"**Whe Wewana**!"

"Did he say 'Where's Wewana'?"

"Oh dear…"

"What?"

"I think he said, 'Where's **Etana**'."

"Wewana!"

"Oh dear…"

"Hey sweetheart. Etana can't be here today. She's busy."

Jamie frowned. But Maman was always right. She was Maman.

"Hank, we need to talk about this."

"If he knows Etana, that could cause problems."

"The thing is, Etana in the world I think he's referring to, really is busy just now. I think he's a little blurred on what reality is which."

"I was wondering Tora, could you find technology based on other universes? It could further our understanding greatly."

"Hank, I don't know how it works. It just **does**."

"But…"

"Look, I only know what the others know. And I must congratulate you on your recent marriage from an entirely different reality."

"I hate it when you do that Tora."

"I know."

* * *

><p>Death laughed.<p>

"The friendship between the two was most interesting. Was it… 8667 that they got married?"

"Yes. Her mutation was accelerated by exposure to radiation, mutating her into a feline very close to her Purian ancestry that never became a problem in this reality."

"You never told me about this. Can you show me?"

The woman concentrated and an image appeared in the waters of Beast with another animalistic creature with soft reddish-orange fur and a thick black mane running around her head and down her back. Four parallel scars ran across the right eye. But then the image shattered.

"It's hard to focus on other realities."

* * *

><p>"Hey Hank."<p>

"Tora. I must say, only Jean has shown your temerity for ignoring death. How many times has it been now?"

"Only once Hank. The first time didn't count."

"That's once more than most others come back from the dead."

"Look, I don't think I was properly dead. I just went to a creepy library and had to play 3D Jigsaw with my atoms."

"I won't ask. So, why have you decided to grace me with your presence."

"Er. Remember the last time I was 'dead'? And what I came to see you about afterwards? Well… I've got the hormonal imbalance again."

"So soon after Jamie's birth? Ah… Separation from him. Your body assumed he was dead or no longer feeding. Correct?"

"Yes. I couldn't fix that. I tried but… Logan has him on mush anyway."

"I must say, the sight of Logan having the 'Blackbird'-spoon sweep into the 'hanger'-mouth was most amusing. So, you wish to have a check-up."

"_Merci beaucoup _Hank. I don't know what we'd do without you."

"Wallow in your own ignorance?"

"Ha Ha. _Tres amusante._ May I remind you, I have the equivalent of three university doctorates in Computer Science, Languages and Politics."

"Politics?"

"If you want to be a spy, you need to know your liberals from your conservatives."

"So you're a Dr?"

"No. I simply have the equivalent training for the doctorates."

"So, lets take a urine sample to start with."

* * *

><p>"That time was rather…troublesome, right?"<p>

"Tell me about it."

"I'm sorry, I don't understand Phoenix."

"You know Poison? Well…"

"Ah… That sort of trouble."


	70. Who Was Eden?

**Memories**

Who was Eden?

Disclaimer: Nope, not a chance of me ever owning the X-Men.

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"**Two**!"

"Look Logan, I wasn't expecting it either. But Hank was interested because they both appear to have healing factors."

"Does that mean…?"

"I'll have my healing this time round."

He laughed and pressed his head to hers.

"Never thought I'd have a family. Too violent a past. But you've looked past that."

"I've had a pretty violent past."

"Was it…was it Eva?"

Her head snapped round.

"What do you mean?"

"You're always having nightmares where you shout out that name. And you called yourself Eva when you were Hunter."

She sighed then gestured for him to sit down.

"It's a long story and I will only tell it if you promise not to interrupt."

"Of course."

"I was…six. I went back to my cell one day and another girl was there. She was a mutant with the ability to bring pictures to life. Imagine that Logan… She could take an image of a person and turn it into a living, **breathing **copy. How else do you think they were able to make so many braindead clones? Eva showed me how to smile. We trained together for **seven years**. Shared everything and helped each other. No one, not even Jean, was as close to me friendwise as Eva was. We told each other **everything**. Then one day I came up with a hare-brained scheme to escape the facility. I was twelve, nearly thirteen. She was just thirteen. I managed keep a security photo of the pair of us hidden. Eva created the fascimiles and I managed to get us into the ventilation shaft. We crawled over five hundred metres where scorching air was blasted at us every ten seconds. We survived. We trecked over three miles in a blizzard, in sub-zero temperatures, wearing only our fatigues. You saw what I was wearing when you rescued me. I was wearing another version of those. We survived. Then I caught my ankle in a rabbit hole and broke it. This was before my healing. I ordered her on and waited for the search party to find me. They punished me by setting dogs on me. I was being torn to shreds. And they threw someone in through the door. Eva… Eva was… She had been torn by dogs… And shot thirteen times. I managed to get to her just as she… died. And I was mad… So mad. My claws tore through my skin and I killed every single one of those dogs. And I tried to kill the men inside the control box. And later, I tried to kill the man who had killed Eva and hurt her so, **so** much before she died."

Logan didn't say anything. Instead, he held her close as she cried quietly.

"It was my fault. I made the plan to escape. I told her to go on when she was never as fit or as strong as I was. I killed her… I killed my best and **only** friend!"

"Hush darlin'. Hush Tora. It's alright. I'm here."

"Thank you Logan…"

"There. Let it out."

They sat like that for a long time as the guilt Tora had kept hidden for twelve long years was allowed out.

Then he carefully tilted her head back.

"This is supposed to be a happy occasion."

* * *

><p>"She was always trying to heal the world. She'd carry the whole world on her back."<p>

"A useful trait for a cosmic entity who primarily healed."

* * *

><p>"Hey. Sorry I've not been here for a while. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff that's been happening."<p>

Tora curled up by the gravestone.

"I wish you were here for this time. I know you'd love Jamie. And in another world you just got married to Steve. Then teleported him away for three days. No one could find either of you."

There wasn't an answer but Tora felt slightly better for telling Etana about what had been happening. Last week, a group of fanatics, who seemed to belong to a religious order that worshipped the 'Black Angel' had tried to dig her up and resurrect her. Tora had shoved Etana's letter to her with the message about **not** being resurrected under the nose of the leader and they accused her of forging it. In the end, Luke had spun an illusion Etana, and Eloise and Emma had 'persuaded' the people that it was a spirit from beyond the grave.

Pressing her hand into the earth, Tora frowned. Something tiny was there. A trace of power. Not power being used but power that had been. Dragon power. Digging into the trail with her mind, she found a…memory. Etana, standing in front of an angelic man with cream coloured wings. He opened his mouth and spoke in an archaic dialect of what sounded like Latin.

"_It won't work."_

"_It will Michael. It has to."_

"_My people have been wiped out by Azazel. What right do you have to hate him?"_

"_He killed my parents. Ordered my uncle's death. Tried to kill me. If anyone has the right to kill him, it is me."_

"_Darkwing, your exploits are legend. But you are his granddaughter."_

"_And I have almost killed him twice. I hate the man with a passion."_

"_Are you ready then?"_

"_I was always ready."_

_And they clasped hands. A red man burst into life in front of them and Etana shouted "NOW!". The Cheyarafim broke open a smooth egg-like silver, bejewelled orb. And the cloud around the man who looked like a parboiled Kurt was swept into it and the rift tore open. Azazel was swept towards the dark, rolling portal. Men and women, all demonic in appearance began to be swept into it. The dark eyes fixed on Etana._

"_A worthy opponent. You are more Neyaphim than you care to admit."_

"_Silence!"_

_She broke hands with the man and she reached out to the demon leader._

"_I am not like you!"_

_Her outstretched hands knocked him off balance and he was pulled into the rift. Then his hand caught on her wrist and she began to be pulled with him. She snapped the bones in his fingers but it was too late. As he fell into the portal, Etana began to be tugged along as well. A voice called out after her._

"_All Neyaphim must pass through the portal. All Cheyarafim die in the Brimstone Dimension. Die Darkwing. DIE!"_

_She screamed and her partner tried to catch her outstretched hand. Black wings beat hopelessly as she was pulled further into the portal. _

"_Darkwing!"_

"…_Master… Help me…"_

_And then black waters burst into life around her, a dragon encircling an angel. She was pulled out of the portal and landed on the ground. The water crashed to the floor. Her head tilted back._

"_Thank you Master. You always know best."_

_The Cheyarafim knelt down beside her._

"_Darkwing? What was that?"_

"_My Master gave me a fragment of her power when I was born. I cannot normally access it. But then… She gave me permission to draw on the life that was. It was just a splinter of her power."_

"_A splinter? Who do you serve who is so powerful?"_

"_The Dragon. I serve Knowledge Incarnate and Life Renewed."_

"_The Dragon?"_

"_You have heard of how Fernon met the Phoenix. I serve her sister."_

"_The Phoenix… has a sister?"_

"_Yes."_

And the memory shattered, leaving Tora breathless. Dragon had relayed the memory and it had been recorded on the Dragon fragment. That Tora recognized as the piece that had come to her in her fear and confusion. How long had Etana allowed a splinter of a cosmic entity to rest inside her? The memory was vivid and incredibly detailed. Sighing, Tora rose, knowing she'd have a class in five minutes. Then she was going to have a long, **long** conversation with Etana.

* * *

><p>"She was a Dragon avatar?"<p>

"No. She was Dragon-marked, with a fraction of the power placed in a 'black box'. It's a bit like Korvus. His ancestor was a Phoenix avatar but he was never touched by Phoenix. Yet he could wield the Blade of the Phoenix."

"Ah… I understand. I think…"


	71. Lessons with Xixy

**Memories**

Lessons with Xixy

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Tora sighed as she walked down the corridor. Everything was slightly out of control right now. Fights, anti-mutant sentiment at a high, Jamie with colic... She pressed her hand to the fingerprint sensitive gel on the door to Xixy's private lab.

The door slid open and she padded into the huge room, with the blackboard at one end and various pieces of alien tech in various states of disassembly. The Alien Culture classes had quickly expanded to Alien Technology, Alien Tactics and Humanity–As Seen from the Stars. Xixy, in his human form, an imposing seven-foot tall hulk of a man who sometimes forgot to get rid of his neon orange colour, was sitting in a chair, gazing down what **looked** like a microscope. This time however he'd remembered he was supposed to be a different colour. He glanced up as she walked over to him.

"Greetings Tora."

She smiled.

"Hey Xixy."

"I don't understand why you don't call me by my full name."

"Xixswalstar on it's own is a bit of a mouthful. Calling you by even your shorthand version of your titles takes about three minutes. Heaven knows how long your full name takes."

"My full name, including all my titles, used only at extremely important ceremonies, takes over eight of your hours to pronounce fully. Fifteen if the honorary pauses are included. For some reason though priests tend to rush it."

"I wonder why."

"You know, for our god, you are very flippant. To us, humour is considered a failing."

"You need humour to keep your mind Xixy. At times, I think everyone must be a little bit insane just to deal with this crazy world of ours."

"I must admit, your people are very interesting."

"Why thank you."

"That wasn't meant as a compliment."

"Xixy, the reason I'm down here is students are all flocking up to join your class and won't say why. Scott has ordered me to sit through a lesson. I thought you ought to know and you have to teach exactly as you would normally."

Xixy frowned.

"I do not understand. Would you object to me taking my normal form?"

"Go ahead."

His features melted away to become his gloopy orange goo. It stretched and expanded until he was the usual blob-like K'Meer. He hummed contentedly as small globules fly off him to various experiments around the room. Tora sighed. Sometimes she wished she could do as Xixy did and send off peripherals. His body was exceptionally adaptable, allowing him to stretch like Reed Richards and split himself in two or even three smaller bodies, whilst remaining in control of them all. However, severe dehydration caused him to dry out, and fire caused him to crack. The main section of his body settled into the specially moulded chair, taken out of his ship.

"Why do you wish to sit through my lesson?"

"Apparently I'm to make sure you aren't brainwashing them as to K'Meer superiority and the other major races such as the Shi'ar, Kree and Skrulls all get fair representation. Can I see your lesson plans?"

"Of course. This term we're studying the culture of the Watchers and their Code of Non-Interference."

Tora grinned and called up Xixy's lesson planner on the computer. K'Meer technology with a human HCI, making it easier for the others to study.

"I can't read K'Meer Xixy."

"Decrypt it. Third button along the second toolbar. The image of a blob turning into a human."

"Thanks."

She scanned the pages of text, reading Xixy's lesson plans and smiling slightly at the mentions of races she knew. However, one race was missing.

"Where's the K'Meer Xixy?"

"The whole of next year will be devoted to K'Meer culture, weaponry, legends and history."

"Xixy, if you had a sense of humour, I would think you just made a joke."

"I assure you Tora, I did not make a joke."

She sighed.

"I know. That's partly why it's funny. I'm going to get some hot drinks before the class starts. Want a coffee?"

"Please."

She pressed her hand to the gel and was allowed out again. She waited until she was halfway down the corridor before started to smile broadly. You could always rely on Xixy to cheer you up. He was so… **Xixyish** and his proud assertions of K'Meer superiority were slightly offset by the fact he had a habit of walking into things. Tora decided not to go all the way to the staff room and ducked into one of Hank's labs she knew had a coffee machine. She set up the two cups, one medium, milky coffee, no sugar for herself and a strong, black coffee with four sugars for Xixy. She balanced the two mugs in one hand and walked back to Xixy's lab. Xixy poured the drink straight into a gap in the goo and for a second, the neon orange was a darker brown. He made the fluttering of his edges that was the K'Meer equivalent of smiling.

"So, lessons start in three minutes. Where will you sit?"

"I'll stand at the back. By the way, appearance."

"Oh. Thanks. I almost forgot. Yesterday I had a student ask about my **mutation**!"

"Well, we have been quite quiet about housing an illegal alien for almost a year, even if you disappeared over summer."

"Huh?"

"Well, normally aliens have to register with the Avengers or the Fantastic Four. We may be one of the eldest hero teams but we don't carry the clout the others do. It's because we're mutants. We're planning to unveil you at some point, possibly after you help save the world and then no one else will mind. At least, that worked for Mar-Vell. And Radd…"

"Radd?"

"Norrin Radd? Zenn-Lavian? The Silver Surfer?"

"Oh. You know the Silver Surfer?"

"We're not on first name terms. We've met…four times, and the first three he pretty much passed right over me. The last time was in…August, at that meeting with Stephan… and he proceeded to drag me aside for a severe questioning about Dragon. Apparently, I've not been using anywhere **near** the amount of power needed to do whatever it is Dragon does."

"What did you say to that?"

"Frankly Surfer, I couldn't care less about what Dragon is supposed to do as at the moment, I'm getting used to being **alive** again. Excuse me, I have to go and speak to Jen about Bruce."

Xixy smirked as he became his humanoid self, with the neon hair and solid orange eyes.

"Pompous Zenn-Lavian."

"Says the man who last week told **Tony Stark** that his armour was primitive. That was **stupid** Xixy."

"It was true!"

"Yes, but here, the Iron Man armour is the most advanced combat suit on Earth, although War Machine has more guns."

"You have an extremely advanced combat suit that you call…Mandroids?"

"We stole them off a weapons dealer and added Shi'ar tech."

"Cerebo?"

"Improved a hundred-fold with Shi'ar enhancements."

"Blackbird?"

"Same again."

"Danger Room?"

"We used to have **real** lasers, forcefields, fans and so on. The **Shi'ar** holograms are **so** much safer."

"You had eighteen almost fatal wounds last week!"

"I was off form. Ol' Danger has safety parameters. That program is…almost sweet. She passed the Turing Test last month."

"She?"

"We chat. I interface myself with **it's** circuits and place stratagem onto **it's **hard disk. We compare fights and run through battles together. Sometimes I swear that program sentient. I just call it she because… I'm not sure why…"

She was saved difficult questions by the bell ringing. Smiling, she settled in a seat in the back as the class filed in. Xixy inflated as they sat silently, with their faces turned towards him. Then he smiled.

"Greetings. Today, this class will study the culture of the esteemed and gracious Watchers. The Watchers have a long and illustrious history. This is a Watcher."

A hologram flashed up, showing a face Tora had been briefly introduced to by Sue Richards.

"As a matter of fact, this is **your** Watcher. His name is Uatu and he has recently been placed on trial for breaking the Watcher Code of Non-Interference…"

Tora didn't so much listen to what Xixy was saying, as to **how** he said it. There was a great deal of care placed in how he spoke. He dictated and the students took notes, then questions could be posed. And finally, the dreaded question was asked.

"How do Watcher ships work?"

Xixy smiled.

"I will show you."

A table was cleared and then a convoluted piece of glassware was brought out. Frowning, Tora leant over to see what they were doing.

"The Watchers use warp drive technology. They…"

The students weren't listening to Xixy. Instead, they were grinning at each other, as if to say 'well done'. Then Xixy struck a match and they ran, diving under benches as the glass exploded, peppering Tora with glass and boiling liquid. She didn't scream, simply sighed, limped over to the First Aid kit on the wall and started tugging the glass out of the deep cuts and washing the liquid off her bare arms. Xixy looked up apologetically, his hair singed black and slight cracks appearing around his hands.

"It wasn't meant to do that."

"'S fibe. Jub wul-wickwes burbs an glabb wutb."

"Excuse me?"

She waited for her tongue and larynx to heal from the boiling liquid and glass, then tried again.

"It's fine. Just full-thickness burns and glass cuts."

Then she continued to remove the large bits of glass then turned to the students.

"Mr Summers' office. Now."

One student, braver than the rest spoke up.

"But Mrs Logan…"

"No buts Mr Keller. Office. Now. Else I'll send you to Miss Frost. And all of you are on after-school training with me and Logan for three days.

"But…"

"No buts. Go. Now."

Then she turned to look at Xixy.

"I **hope** that was a one off."

* * *

><p>They laughed at the slightly sheepish look on Xixy's face.<p>

"She was the only person to **ever **get a K'Meer to look embarrassed."

"Of course. Xixy pretty much worshipped the ground she walked on, even if she didn't realize it."

"Is that why the garden and bits of floorboard kept disappearing?"

"He was sending them back to Meer'K as holy relics."


	72. Never Any Words

**Memories**

Never Any Words

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Scott frowned. Tora had been crouched by the wall with the bucket and sponge but when she'd heard him coming, she'd leapt up and covered the wall with her arms.

"Tora?"

"Scott?"

"What are you hiding?"

She went slightly red, glanced at her feet, in the air, at his chest. Then looked him directly in the eyes.

"Hiding?"

"Behind you. On the wall."

Again, she seemed unable to look him in the eyes. Then she blushed.

"Just some graffiti. I was cleaning it off."

"Just some graffiti? Then why won't you show me?"

She mumbled something that sounded like 'students shouldn't…"

"Students shouldn't…?"

"Students shouldn't have to see it."

"What?"

She glanced around, scented the air and then stepped aside to allow Scott to see the tricolour letters, each a foot high, spelling 'MUTIES OUT!". And next to that, as if the message wasn't clear enough, a noose dripping blood. The noose had been partially scrubbed away.

Without a word, Scott moved over, picked up a sponge and began scrubbing at the letters. Tora flashed him a smile before renewing her attack on the noose. Soon they were joined by Kitty, Ororo and Kurt. No one spoke. Instead, they all worked quickly and quietly, cleaning the wall.

* * *

><p>Jean smiled slightly.<p>

"I never thought we could go public with the school."

"It was…fraught."

"You would know."

* * *

><p>"Logan, who is Laura?"<p>

He shifted uncomfortably as Emma and Scott sat opposite him.

"A daughter? A sister?"

"And more to the point Logan, why did she take one look at Tora, scream, and try to run away yet is now sitting, albeit edgily, with her and acting as if they are old friends."

"I don't know! She took one look at Tora, screamed that she should be dead then Tora called her '23' and Laura called her 'X-ii'. Then they just nodded at each other and Tora swept her off me."

In a room down the corridor, Tora sat opposite Laura Kinney, a girl she had heard of, as she had heard of her. Silence had reigned. Until now.

"X-23"

"Weapon X-ii. I have…heard a great deal about you."

"And I you. It is quite interesting to meet you at last."

"Until I was six, they were always comparing my progress with yours. And then I had Major-"

"Major 'Jones'?"

"Yes. He told me I would never have your natural flair for espionage."

"Odd. He never gave the impression that he liked me much. I meanwhile, was told, often, that I was a hopeless assassin and would never reach your standard."

"Then you just…dropped out of sight. I was still sometimes compared to you, especially on the language front, but… It was like they just dropped your project."

"They did. So Miss…Kinney, I'm impressed you escaped. I couldn't."

The girl looked down.

"My…mother…died to let me escape."

Tora placed a hand on the girls arm. A gesture of comfort."

"At least you escaped. My best and only friend was killed when I tried to escape. I still feel that I killed her."

The green eyes met gold.

"Tell me."

And quietly, gently, Tora told Laura about Eva. When she'd finished, the girl blinked.

"Why didn't you kill the man?"

"Because… I looked into that man's eyes and say Eva there in her last second. Afraid, alone and…accepting. He was so sure he would die. And I saw myself there as well. If you'd asked me a week before whether I could kill him, I'd answer he wouldn't have a chance to blink. But sometimes, what you think you can do and what you actually can do are completely different things."

"Can you kill?"

She sat silently for a second then nodded once.

"I have the gift…and curse to see into the minds of alternate reality counterparts. And the number of worlds I have killed in is impressive. But I assume you mean here. And yes I can and would kill if there was no alternative."

Laura frowned then blinked.

"You smell of him."

"Who?"

"Wolverine."

"Is that a problem?"

"Not…not really. X-"

"Tora. It's Tora now."

"You're not like I imagined. And you smell…different. Not entirely human."

Tora laughed. And allowed a little dragon made of water to curl from her hand, up her arm to her shoulder. The silver eyes of the dragon looked at X-23.

"I'm not."

"What the…"

"Dragon. I am Dragon."

And her eyes sparkled with a soft silver light.

"And I have placed the past behind me. I **am** the past."

"You are?"

"Complicated. Walk with me."

She stood and opened the door, hand stretched to show Laura to go first."

"I didn't think I was supposed to leave the room…"

"What gave you that idea?"

"Well, the guy with the shades told me I was not **under any circumstances** to leave the room and the blond woman in her underwear said she would leave me a vegetable if I left the room."

"Who cares what they say. Rules are there to be broken."

"But…"

"I will be with you. They trust me. And they know how…unpredictable I am. I have a reputation for breaking rules."

"Such as…?"

"Attacking Magneto head-on, going to the Moon after stealing Xixy's ship in a vague hope of saving Earth, committing suicide by chucking myself into a black hole…"

"Suicide? You looks healthy for a dead person."

"I came back. It happens…not all the time, but far more often than for normal people. Lucky them."

"Lucky?"

"Why can't I stay dead? It gets confusing. The other time though I wasn't actually dead, just faking it."

Laura stepped out into the corridor.

"Where will we go?"

"Where our feet take us."

"Huh?"

"Have you never just walked to see where you end up? I find it helps me deal with life."

"How?"

"Well, we pretty much walk through life and end up somewhere we didn't expect to be."

"Huh?"

"I thought I'd be a weapon, a spy, a prisoner all my life. Instead I'm a wife, mother, teacher, X-Man and Dragon"

"Mother? I can smell you're pregnant but…"

"Then let me introduce you to Jamie. Would he be your nephew or your stepbrother? Or to put it simpler, are your X chromosomes both Logan's?"

"What difference would that make?"

"I'm not sure. Hank's our resident brainbox. A sweetie but so **unsure**. He thinks he's devolving, see. For a genius, he can be **stupid** sometimes."

They walked up the stairs to the staff quarters and Tora entered the code to gain access to Jamie's room. You could never be too careful. The door hissed as the hydraulic lock opened and she was able to push it open. Jamie was sitting in his cot, looking at one of the picture books. Hank's by the look of it. For some reason, Jamie preferred looking at pictures of DNA, chromosomes and genotypes to dogs, cats and fish. Laura frowned.

"Smells."

"Typical. Have you ever stayed in the same house as a one year old?"

"No."

"Too bad. This one is okay I suppose. That means I get at least an hours sleep between him screaming and he isn't all clingy. He loves Hank though. I think it was love at first sight. With the lab."

"The lab?"

"Look at the book. Dr McCoy, how sweet of you to get my son a book on genetics for his **first birthday**. Not."

Jamie turned at the sound of his mother's voice and grinned.

"Maman! Dada?"

"Dada!"

"You must smell the same as Logan."

Carefully picking up Jamie she sighed.

"I can't **wait** until he's toilet trained."

Laura leant backwards, wrinkling her nose. Then the speaker crackled to life overhead.

"TORA!"

"Oops. I think they've found out about our little promenade."

"GET DOWN HERE AT ONCE!"

"Scott, darling, don't you think you're taking this a little far?"

"Tora's doing this to annoy me Em. She-"

Whatever Scott was saying was cut off as the tannoy was turned off.

"Aren't you worried?"

"Scott? Nah. He's easy to work. I just have to guilt trip him with what **Jean** would have done. You look him in the eye and say 'Jean would have done that' and he goes all red and shuts up. I'm the only one who plays that card though."

"Why?"

"We were the same. I suppose, in a way, I knew her the longest. Or rather, Dragon has known Phoenix since the universe began. And there isn't really a difference between us anymore. Me and Dragon, not me and Jean."

"TORA GET DOWN NOW!"

She sighed and pressed the button.

"Fine. After Jamie's been changed."

Silence. Then Laura started snickering. Tora soon joined in. Then pressed her hand to Laura's arm.

"Welcome to our dysfunctional little family… Laura?"

She turned her arms up to reveal the criss-crossing cuts. X-23 immediately tugged her sleeves down. Tora pulled her sleeve up then moved Laura's fingers over the dips and bumps on her arms, her golden gaze never leaving Laura's green eyes. A flash of understanding, and that was it.

* * *

><p>Phoenix smiled sadly.<p>

"No words. Never any words. But understanding all the same."

"Of course. Laura was closer to Tora than Logan. And for good reason."


	73. You Idiot!

**Memories**

You Idiot!

Disclaimer: What do you think? If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"You idiot!"

"Says who Cyclops?"

"Says me Dragon! THAT WAS JUST PURE RISK TAKING!"

"I saved the Senator, didn't I?"

"That's not the point! You **deliberately** disobeyed a **direct** order and risked not only your life, but that of X-23, who shouldn't even be in the field!"

"I didn't ask her to tag along."

"SHE STILL DID!"

"That is my fault."

"X, stay out of this!"

"But Wolverine…"

"Tora doesn't like people interfering in her battles."

"Cyclops, I weighed up **all** the possible consequences. May I remind you, I was trained by the best to be the best. I've fought with the Shadow, who said I was one of the best hand-to-hand fighters she'd ever met, and this is from a friend of Hua Mulan's."

"That isn't the **point**! The point is, you leapt off a eighteenth story, just to land on the head of **one** of the attempted kidnappers."

"And? Unbreakable skeleton remember? And may I remind you, falling into a black hole? I sort of survived that. Leaping off a building? Piece of cake."

Cyclops snarled and then sighed.

"I used to think that Wolverine was the difficult one…"

"Hey, it was my neck I was risking. So back off."

"This isn't over Dragon. And Beast's promised me your medical report this time."

Beast blushed as Dragon glared at him, the silver eye covers somehow conveying her anger.

"Sorry, sorry. But I can't keep putting this off."

"We are going to have a long talk about patient privacy Beast."

"You and patient privacy should never have been introduced."

"I'm hurt…"

"You use it to get away with going on missions, when I've **told** you that you need rest."

"I heal."

"Not fast enough."

She leant over and punched him on the arm.

"I've survived broken necks before. So leave me alone."

"You went out whilst your heart hadn't fully regrown!"

"So?"

"So…? To- Dragon, what are we going to do with you?"

"I don't know. Knowing you, lock me in the Medi-Lab for a week and steal my access key. And ban me from leaving the bed."

"Er…Excuse me?"

They turned to see a rather nervous looking junior reporter.

"I was wondering if you would be able to give an interview."

The X-Men frowned and looked at one another. Cyclops was the only one who spoke.

"Who?"

"Er…Well, I'd be happy to talk to anyone, but my boss specified…er…Ms…er…Dragon."

"I don't do interviews."

"Ben Urich interviewed you a year or so ago."

"Personal favour to a friend. Don't write that down."

"But…but…"

"Look, I have a phobia of open notebooks. Especially in the hands of journalists. My good friend Iceman over there may be prepared to talk."

"Er…thank you?"

"No problem. Oi, Iceboy! Reporter!"

Cyclops sighed and dragged Dragon aside.

"That was cruel."

"What? Sending the reporter to Bobby or sending Bobby to the reporter?"

"Both."

"Come on Cyke, he's maybe the most normal of the lot of us. Let's think. Hank- blue, furry genius, you- fearless leader, slightly too uptight, Logan- mad, berserker feral, Kurt- blue, fuzzy demonic priest, 'Ro- goddess, weather-witch, Emma- fights in her underwear, Bobby- accountant, bit of a prankster, good with media relations. Who else was I going to send her to? Especially when Bobby was majorly attracted to her."

"What?"

"Nose, remember? He kept glancing at her and I could smell mild attraction. Really, it's all in the body language. And she thinks Iceman's hot."

"How…?"

"The badge? Please tell me you noticed it? It was one of those Iceman fanclubs. You know, the one with the logo 'Too cool to die'?"

"There are Iceman **fanclubs**!"

"Don't worry, there are other fanclubs. I was searching for them when Jamie had colic. It was when he was asleep and I was bored. Sadly, the best Cyclops fanclub had about…three hundred members."

"Three hundred…?"

"Compared to eight thousand, nine hundred and twenty four for Bobby's best."

"Er… why were you looking up X-Men fanclubs?"

"I decided to search myself. It was…interesting. I have a Wikipedia page. I tweaked it a bit."

"Tweaked it?"

"They had everything wrong."

"Huh?"

"They had all sorts of rumours about me and Hank. And yes, I am going out with him in Earth-8667. But not this world."

"Wait! You… what happened?"

"Me and Logan broke up before it got really serious Just after I was scarred. It was to do with how dangerous he was. Guilt over Mariko and so on. I was exposed to gamma radiation and it completely changed my body. I ended up as a sort of reddish-gold version of Hank's body just now. He'd just changed with his secondary mutation and it was sort of set that we were going to help each other. And then things got slightly odd with him having just been dumped by Trish. That woman was never right for him anyway. Oops, digressing. Anyway, I comforted him when he was having one of his 'I'm useless' episodes."

Cyclops nodded. He knew **all** about those.

"And he sort of helped me when the press started labelling me a beast, as he'd already gone through that. And taking me to mutant conferences and so on. Opera. That sort of stuff. Reading plays. Then he started dragging me along to those smart-boy meetings with Pym, Reed, Tony and all that lot. And then it just sort of…happened. You know, the whole being kidnapped and rescued and Hank sort of accidentally on purpose kissing me on the way back."

"Hank?"

"I wasn't expecting it either. Look, it's worse when you happened to be in the same room as **our** Hank at the same time. He didn't get why I was giggling. I wasn't able to look him in the eye for a week. Don't tell Logan. You know how jealous he'd be, even if it was in a different reality."

Cyclops couldn't help it. The slight twist of the left side of her mouth made it obvious she was trying not to smile. The right side stayed dead still. It always had been. It was never more obvious than when she wore the mask. Only one of the four scars peeked out, the one nearest the centre of her face that had torn into her mouth. It had taken over a month for her to stop slurring her words as her lips wouldn't obey her commands. In the end, through sheer dogged perseverance and a lot of help from a speech therapist/ex-superhero, her voice had returned to normal. A few sharp-eyed photographers had noticed the scar but because the metal kept the cloth from being singed too badly, no one knew the true extent of the damage. Oddly, the few photos of Tora with a normal, unscarred face seemed to be someone else. He shook his head. Daydreaming in the field. He was getting as bad as Tora.

"How did we get to this point?"

"We were talking about fanclubs."

"Were we?"

"Yes. In particular, your lack of them. Apparently you're too humourless and Boy Scout."

"What!"

"Don't worry Slim. We all love you as you are."

"Please stop the sarcasm."

They had walked pretty much all the way to the Blackbird by now.

"I find sarcasm is my way of coping."

"With what?"

"All this."

She made a wipe, sweeping gesture, encompassing the rubble, the reporters, the X-Men and the police.

"All of the world."

* * *

><p>"All the world…"<p>

"All of reality…"

"Or was it just all of herself?"


	74. Others

**Memories**

Others

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

A little filler about the other worlds Tora lives in. If you want to see something that might not happen in this story, just ask. I might do a few more of these chapters.

* * *

><p><em>She was looking at him from under the oxygen mask, eyes so sad. Logan brushed the streak of black hair from her eyes. This nameless woman who was braver than he could ever be. She had refused to give in to her masters. And was going to pay with her life.<em>

"_You didn't ask for this, did ya? They stole yer life and sent ya ta kill me. And instead of killing me, you slit yer own throat. Who are you?"_

_And in her final, exhausted breath, she whispered a name._

"_Tora… my name would have been Tora… So much I had to do…"_

_The eyes rolled up into the skull. And the hand he was holding went limp. The bravest woman he had ever met. And she was lying dead, completely anonymous. No hero's funeral, no monument. Just an unmarked grave, one of the many in the world._

xXx

_She stared in horror at the newspaper. A list of heroes who had died in this 'Ultimatum'. And her precious Logan. Oh, no real name. Just Wolverine. She'd been the one to give him that nickname, many years ago. When they'd met in North Africa. All those years ago. She'd been a young, impulsive spy. A member of La Résistance, sent to work with M15. And when she'd been sent to work with his unit. All the men had looked at her with that…hunger. But only James Howlett had looked her in the eye and seen an equal. They'd fought together. And then they'd been captured and he'd looked her in the eyes and told her she was beautiful. They'd huddled together in the freezing van, waiting for the bullets that were soon going to go through their skulls. And she'd begged him, begged him that he would kill her before he let the guards take her. And he'd placed his hands around her neck and closed his eyes before tightening his grip on her windpipe. And she'd told him her real name, breaking **every** code that the spymasters had drilled into her._

"Je suis Marie. Marie Circen._"_

_And his blue eyes had filled with tears. And he'd released her neck._

"_Sorry. I…I can't do this."_

_And then, later, after the convoy had been attacked and they'd been rescued, she'd sent a message to her commander._

"Request permission to become involved. If no permission granted, will become involved anyway._"_

_And then the glorious response that permission to become involved with a Sergeant James Howlett (Canadian Militia) had come through. And James had got Captain America to persuade his commanding officer and they had ambushed the camp chaplain. Whilst it had lasted, it had been wonderful. All the others had been jealous. Lucky Jim Howlett, with his pretty French spy of a wife. And then he'd been stupid and managed to get caught with Nick and Wilson. And she'd refused to leave him. They'd been sent to that terrible place together. And even there, she'd refused to leave him. Even when they'd driven her so deeply into her mind, she didn't know **what** she was anymore, she never left him. They lost all memory of who they were. But guards soon learned that, even when they were less than animals, trying to remove the matching golden rings on their left hands was a bad idea. And then Nick had rescued them. Only she hadn't recognised him. They'd twisted her memories out of shape so she didn't know who she was anymore. The memories came back later. They'd wandered the world, not knowing who they were but knowing that they loved each other more than anything. _

_And then Jimmy had been born. She hadn't known __**why**__ the name James was special. But they were being hunted, so, with a heavy, heavy heart she had agreed to give him up. And as they had taken him to his new family, Sabretooth had attacked. He'd torn out her heart and slashed her son. And Logan hadn't been able to help her. He'd went after Sabretooth. And Jimmy, not injured too greatly, had healed. The Hudsons had found him and taken him whilst she had tried to scream. Not her son! Please, not her son! And Logan had come back and buried her in the cold, cold snow. And she'd healed. Slowly, forced to bite into her own arm to survive. Ran wild. Gained her memories of before. Then seen him that day in New York. Standing next to the helmeted man. And she'd known. She'd seen his eyes. Someone, a telepath, had stolen his memories of her. Nearly seventy years of love, companionship and care gone. All because they couldn't bear to have his allegiance spilt. And she'd watched as he'd joined the X-Men. Cried herself to sleep when the redhead _putain _had stunk of him._

_He'd saved her life at one point. Pulled her out of the way of an explosion. He'd frowned, as if he recognized her. She'd just thanked him quietly and walked on. He stood still, staring after her, almost as if the memories had come back. And then he'd shrugged and went back into the fight. And her heart had broken all over again. _

_And then she'd met old Etana Zilah. An old, old school friend. Her entire family had been killed in the Holocaust. And it had hit home how old she was, really was. Etana's face was lined, she couldn't walk, needed a wheelchair. And she had thirteen great-grandchildren. And she'd seen the old her, Marie Circen. Seen past the black streak in her hair, past the golden eyes. And dear, sweet, smart Etana had hugged her and cried over all the loss and pain and fear. She was well into her nineties, but her mind was as sharp as it had been that day Marie, Marie before she had become La Tigresse and Marie Howlett and Tora, had managed to hid her in the cellar. And they had cried and spoken in fast, fluent French. About Etana's life. _

_Meeting the American soldier who'd been posted in their village. And poor, lonely Etana had leapt at the chance to escape the hell France had become. They married within a month of the War's end. And she had regretted it. He wouldn't let her practice her religion. After all those years evading fascists and Nazis, she ended up married to one. She'd lived her life in misery, made even worse by finding her childhood friend was believed 'killed in action'. Then one day she'd snapped. Her husband had beaten her when she was carrying her first child and she'd miscarried. _

_Angry, ill and having lost everything, she prepared to kill him. Only to be told he'd been killed in a bar fight. Relieved, she had went to the nearest synagogue and poured out her sufferings to the rabbi. Less than three years later, she had married again, to a Polish Jew who had met her brother in Sobibor. This marriage had been happier and Etana had been able to enjoy the next sixty years of her life. And Marie had realised how **empty** her life was. So she'd gone to find the Hudsons. Only her son, her dear, dear son was gone. Screaming, Marie Howlett pulled off the golden wedding ring and flung it into the river._

xXx

_She flexed her paw-like hands. It had been the Witch's fault. Magneto had saved her life, although it had hurt so much when he'd tried, as carefully as possible, to remove the adamantium that was preventing her body from changing, changing as the Scarlet Witch had hexed it to. Magneto, who had whispered sorry over and over again as he carefully pulled out the adamantium, saving her life and turning her into this…this beast! The thick black mane that ran lion-like round her face was still soaked from the shower. She looked in the mirror. Her face was now covered in a thin layer of reddish-gold fur with delicate black stripes and the scars hadn't left. The whites of her eyes had completely gone. She tilted her head to each side to look at the thick white ruff around her jawbone. Odd wasn't it. She'd taken the name Tigress. She'd never thought she'd look like a human tiger. The reddish-gold fur thickened, especially around her torso, arms and legs. Her hands, three fingers and an opposable thumb (thank goodness for small mercies) had thin fur on the back of her hands, still thicker than on her face though. She turned her hands over, revealing the delicate pink pads. She moved away, marvelling as to how quickly she'd adjusted to the tail. Nowhere near as flexible or as strong as Kurt's, it helped her balance, especially with her new feet. Her legs had changed, becoming the most cat-like feature of her new body. She would never tease Kurt about his feet again. At least he had toes. Her hearing, impossibly sharp now, despite the removal of the data chip, caught the sound of someone coming to the door. She pulled the towel around her chest, regardless of the fact the fur was so thick nothing could been seen under it. Logan. She nodded. They were friends. In spite of their short and almost bitter romance. _

She'd been sitting in the rain, wondering about the scars. And Logan had come over, and she had **smelt** it.

"Logan?"

And he'd been crying.

"This is my fault…"

"No Logan. It's not."

"**It is**! Sabretooth only hurt you to get to me!"

"Logan…"

"It's true Tora. That's why… that's why this has to stop. Now. No more."

And she had understood. She'd nodded gently and smiled.

"Friends?"

"Forever."

_Logan smiled._

"_You look beautiful."_

"_Shut up Logan."_

"_It's true. Hank's one lucky guy."_

_She laughed and hugged him._

"_You stop it. Anyway shouldn't you be over with Hank. You know, stop him from having last minute nerves?"_

"_I'm more worried about you."_

"_I have Jean and 'Ro. What more could a girl possibly need?"_

_He laughed. Then kissed her forehead._

"_I knew there was a reason we broke up. You're happier with Hank than you could have ever been with me. Hank's fine. He's trying to calm Bobby down. Minor role reversal there."_

_She wasn't able to stop the bubbling laughter._

"_For heavens sake Logan. It's only a first date!"_

xXx

Tora's eyes opened. The other worlds. So many and so little time to explore them in. She almost smiled. Here was true freedom, being able to dance through worlds as the fancy took her. Smiling, she pressed herself closer to a sleeping Logan. Because, when it came down to it, she wouldn't trade this world for any other.

* * *

><p>Jean smiled sadly.<p>

"Lucky her. She was happy where she was."

"Not always."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Next chapter- Etana! Lots and lots of Etana! As requested by Jeanniebird. I've got quite a few alternate realities sloshing around in my head. So if you like this chapter, tell me and we can have lots more of them._


	75. Justice's Shadow

**Memories**

Justice's Shadow

Disclaimer: What do you think? If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She threw herself into the chair, hoping that she would have time to relax before the next lesson. She. Was. Going. To. Kill. Remy. What **idiot** took a year old infant on a **thieving** trip? Apparently, having a child made you look more trustworthy. At which point, Rogue had hit him over the head with a statue. The heavy, marble statue. At which point, Remy had tried to kiss her **again** and she'd hit him again. At which point she'd gone to Hank for the power suppressor.

She ended up slicing the curtains in an attempt to calm down. It didn't work. She was going to end up biting the kids' heads off. Then she did what always kept her calm and allowed the door to open. She slipped out, almost out of her head, with a thread of awareness keeping her tied to her reality.

_Etana was in front of her, fussing over some last minute plan._

"_I've managed to get in touch with a rabbi who's father owed me a favour. I can't believe I'm rushing this. I really should go through the entire long engagement. But I haven't got anyone to really care other than you and Logan."_

"_The others care Etana. We all care."_

"_Don't lie. They're going for Steve, not me. I heard them last night. 'Why's Steve with her? She's not right for him. I never thought **Cap** would sink so low'. It hurt Tora. It hurt. I'm not a hero or a friend to anyone. I'm just the Shadow, a necessary evil. The woman who's lived too long, seen too much. Do you know how many people I've killed? So, so many… I used to make a point of remembering their faces. Now only a few stand out… The first twenty or so. Men so evil I had no choice other than to dispense quick, unjust justice. You know why they never caught Jack the Ripper? It's because he was foolish enough to try to make a victim of the young woman who asked him to walk her home. I tricked him. He walked with me into the alley. Only I left. I scared him, terrified him. His last words were so…deep for a man so shallow. 'Are you an angel to punish me or a devil to bring me home?'"_

_She sounded bitter, so angry at what she was. And Tora couldn't help herself._

"_What did you say?"_

"_I am Justice's Shadow. And you are guilty."_

_She was sitting quiet still except for her tail which curled up to her left hand. She took the imaginary knife and appeared to weigh it in her hand. Then she made a careful, precise movement that Tora knew would have hit directly into the chest, between the ribs and piercing the heart. Then Etana started muttering in her archaic form of Hebrew that was close enough to the modern version Tora had learned for her to know it was a prayer for forgiveness. And then Etana just got up and walked to the window. She moved her wings carefully, despite the resetting process having gone perfectly and she now had full movement again. A present from Steve. He'd taken her to a bird specialist who'd fixed her wings. She'd walked around with bandages for over a week and hadn't dared move her wings for a month. And then, Warren had taken her for a tentative flying lesson. And she'd started flying and then done a series of acrobatics that totally outclassed Warren. And the teacher-pupil thing was swapped, with her teaching him how to dive-bomb and how to fly so low that your wings would brush the earth. And Warren had landed, totally wiped-out and had gone off to get some painkillers for his wings. Etana had outflown him and outraced him. And then Steve had turned up and she'd grabbed him under his arms and flown up with him and when she landed he'd pulled her close and whispered something that had made her stiffen and she'd teleported away. Still holding him. And she'd come back under five minutes later, and ran walked upstairs. Jean had frowned, touched her thoughts and then gasped before going to congratulate Steve. And Tora had known before Steve had even made his quiet announcement. _

"_No more dark thoughts Etana. You're getting married in a month."_

_A bitter laugh._

"_I was engaged once. My uncle had been killed and because I was the angel girl, I was sent to the court. And the king was clever. I was the angel girl. I was not for marrying. I was to be saved. But I could still please. Dancing, music, poetry. I could write better than many. So he made me, what could almost be… I've just realised. I was David's PA…"_

_Tora couldn't help but laugh at the look on Etana's face._

"_I was his **secretary**…"_

"_Get on with the story 'Pepper'."_

"_That was cruel. Anyway, David soon saw my potential as a fighter. I ended up as his bodyguard. The soldiers weren't allowed in the palace. With me there was no problem. And then there was some king, although he was more a petty warlord, who came for some treaty. And we put on a show. I wasn't the best dancer but I was the most striking so I acted as prop for our most skilled. She'd leap, I'd catch, that sort of stuff. And when we'd finished, I went to my position as wine pourer. David grew up with Achav and Eitan. He trusted me. And the warlord saw that. He requested a wife for the treaty. David brought out his daughters. The warlord, I forget his name, refused them all. He wanted the angel girl. And David was mad. I was his scribe, his personal servant. His old friend's daughter. And I drew him aside. Get rid of him. Quickly, quietly. Pretend to agree and let me deal with him. I can make it look like an accident. I was good at engineering 'accidents'. The treaty was signed, and that night, the pillar over his bed collapsed. I was good at accidents. A more friendly warlord succeeded him. And I went back to my usual job. With the added opportunity of being an assassin. I did as I was told, killed those I was meant to. How else do you think David was so sure Uriah would die? I didn't question. I was his faithful little angel, who did all the jobs no one else would do. And then he made me his son's guard. Little Solomon. He was actually a bit like… a bit like Jamie, truth be told. Always wanting to know about things, always getting into trouble. I was always running around after him, trying to stop him getting into things. Most people would be upset to have been 'demoted'. I wasn't though. I'd been promoted. David adored Solomon. And when David died, he made me swear to care for his son, as he had cared for me. By then, my place as an angel had been firmly cemented. I'd been fifteen when David took me in. I still looked about twenty five. I guarded Solomon, did all the dirty jobs. To most people, nothing had changed. But it had. I was his surrogate mother. He listened to what I said. I could twist him round my finger if I had to. And then when he died, I left. I'd sworn to David I would look after Solomon. I hadn't said anything about Solomon's children. And I went all around the world. Saw beautiful and terrible things. Went back to Jerusalem every year. And I was glad I'd left. For about three decades I just wandered, ignoring all the suffering. I told myself I'd already seen too much. And then Azazel came to me. He wanted me to join him. I ran and found the Cheyarafim. They didn't trust me but they told me about my father. And I decided to fight him. Then my eyes were opened, really opened. And I became the Shadow. You know, that is an abbreviation. My real name was Justice's Shadow. I would follow and deal with those conventional methods couldn't punish. And gradually, the number I killed rose. I don't know how many people I've killed."_

_She seemed sad._

"_Etana, you fight for a reason. You've never killed someone unless there is no other option."_

"_Really?"_

_Tora couldn't think of anything to say to that. So she tried to cheer Etana up._

"_Think of it this way. How many lives have you saved?"_

_Etana's silver eyes didn't change. Tora could only see the reflection and then she smiled slightly._

"_I can't even count the lives I've saved. And I remember every single face."_

"_Then remember them."_

_And Etana turned and smiled properly._

"_Thank you."_

Tora slid back into her mind. She wasn't angry at Remy anymore. How could you be, when you'd just heard about an old friend's past?

* * *

><p>"The Shadow got <strong>married<strong>?"

"Yes. Didn't you know Death?"

"That means I have to face up to Destiny. I bet that she would **never** get married, in any reality."

Phoenix frowned.

"You made a bet with Destiny? Irene Adler?"

"No. Destiny Destiny."

"Oh. **That** Destiny."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Wow. Chapter 75... I'm actually shocked I've managed to write this much. I thought it would be over in under thirty chapters, seeing as the plan was only about thirty pages long. And now I'm reaching 210 pages on my word processor! This is...worrying because I'm still nowhere **near** wrapping this up._


	76. Talking to the Dead

**Memories**

Talking to the Dead

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She was sitting in the cafe, bored out of her wits. No going on missions, although training was still allowed.

"Hey Tora."

"Steve. Glad you could come."

Captain America slid into the seat beside her. He was still limping slightly and was careful not to overstretch, which would have Pym refusing to allow him back on duty. Cracked ribs were no joke.

"Both of us invalids meeting up to gripe about our doctors eh?"

She laughed.

"Well at least **you're** only off for about two weeks. Hank won't want me to go back to work for another nine months."

"How far…"

His ears went bright red.

"Three months. Anyway, I suppose you're wondering why I invited you here today."

"Actually, I just thought you wanted someone to gripe at."

"Well there's a bit of that. But really, I want to talk. About Etana."

His face didn't change much.

"Tora…"

"Look, I know it hurts. But you know what I can do, what I can see…"

She didn't have to say anything else. Steve's eyes told her that.

"She's…she's still alive?"

"In many worlds. But I normally only talk to one Etana. The split point between these worlds was the eighteenth of May."

"You mean…"

"The world is identical except for the fact that Etana is still alive. She wasn't as fast as Piotr. He got there first and made the sacrifice."

"She's… she's…"

"Do you want to talk to her?"

His mouth opened.

"I know it would be hard. But you never really got a chance to say goodbye."

"And…and she's fine with this?"

"It was her suggestion. An act of closure for you."

"And… you're talking to her? Right now?"

She nodded and Steve closed his eyes. Then opened them.

"Hey 'Tana."

Tora's eyes unfocussed and she spoke, sounding uncannily like Etana.

"Hey Discus-Boy. Heard you missed me."

"It's true then. You're alive."

"What do you think, idiot?"

Steve smiled.

"That's you alright."

"I'm sorry about me…you…me… Tora, help me here. Right. OK. The Etana you knew was a… Tora, I can't say that. Tora? A version that doesn't sound like you've been talking to Richards. Oh. Fine. Sorry about this Steve. Anyway, the version you knew was a woman exceptionally similar to me but differing in tiny, seemingly inconsequential ways."

"Like being alive?"

"Like having a seizure when preparing to walk downstairs to steal a vial."

"You…"

"It hurt. But I survived and I woke up with you yelling at me for being an idiot."

"I was yelling?"

"Telling me that I could be a hero in my own time, thank you very much, and not to die on your watch."

"I actually said that?"

"Well I don't think you meant it."

"What makes you say that?"

"You kissed me."

His ears went red again.

"I did what?"

"You waited until Hank had left then you kissed me."

"And you came out with a sarcastic comment I bet."

"Actually, I did. 'If I knew all I had to do was almost die, I'd be suicidal by now.' You didn't think that was funny for some reason."

"Tora, this really is Etana, isn't it."

She nodded, too absorbed in listening to Etana and copying her pitch and tone. The other Tora was doing the same for Steve.

"Oh, it's me Discus-Boy. You want proof. The first thing I ever said to you was 'If any of you Nazi dogs enter my village', proceeded to tell you what would happen to each of your body parts and I had a knife to your throat."

Tora chuckled slightly.

"I then told you your German accent was appalling and you took my appearance a lot better than most. Do you want me to say any more?"

Steve smiled sadly.

"That's you alright. Do you remember the flower I gave you?"

"A snowdrop. I still have it. Pressed. If you want it, it's in the secret drawer in the Manhattan house, where I keep my DVDs."

"I never saw anyone who guarded their DVDs so fiercely."

"And? I've had people filch my videos before, thank you very much."

Steve sighed then smiled. Etana had been right. This was helping him get the grief out.

"How are you?"

"Better than I've been in years, thanks to you and that avian specialist friend of yours."

"'Tana?"

"You got my wings reset. And then you asked me to marry you, all polite and proper like. Told me you wanted to be alone with me for five minutes, then went down on one knee and came out with a beautiful piece of Hebrew. Who taught you that anyway?"

"Hebrew? I don't speak Hebrew."

"Oh. Then that's really sweet that you learnt that paragraph just for me. What…? Steve, I'm a bit bus-"

Tora stopped dead but the damage had been done. Steve reeled back.

"That's me, isn't it?"

A tear slid out of Tora's eyes as she nodded.

"Yes. That's you."

Steve slumped then looked up with a fierce resolution in his eyes.

"Tell him he's a lucky guy."

And Tora's voice deepened until it sounded identical to his.

"I know I am."

* * *

><p>Phoenix smiled slightly but sadly.<p>

"Poor guy."

Death laughed.

"Really? The Shadow sat outside my realm for over sixty years, waiting for Steve Rogers to turn up."

"She wouldn't enter?"

"She was always very useful for questing heroes."

"Yes. I remember going to Hell to rescue Wolverine. Etana sat at the point between the afterlives, pointing out where people were to go. We had a nice little chat and she babysat for me."

"You left your kids with a dead person?"

"She was the Shadow. She was the safest person to leave them with."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>As the ever-observant Jeanniebird (my first and 100th reviewer) pointed out, Tora told Scott that radiation was responsible for her being changed in a different reality, yet when Tora was 'lodging' there, I stated that the Scarlet Witch was responsible for it. The reason is thus… Tora has accepted that just because you do something in one world doesn't mean you'd do it in another. Cyclops may have trouble with this personal philosophy and to make life easier for Wanda, Tora lied about the cause of her transformation. And she has also requested Aca (from Cells) makes a cameo. All I can say is, yes oh mighty readers! And I'm thinking of making every chapter ending in 5 a sojourn to other realities. Roll on Chapter 85!  
><em>


	77. Taking on Pain

**Memories**

Taking on Pain

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"Where were you?"

"Meeting Cap. We were talking about Etana. I gave him a chance to say goodbye."

Logan put his hand on her shoulder.

"They were good friends weren't they?"

She smiled wryly.

"Yes. Very good friends. The best."

Hank frowned.

"He mentioned a Shadow once when I was with the Avengers. We were in a fight and he cursed and said that if Shadow were still alive, we'd have no bother. I never guessed Etana was Shadow."

"Do you know that was her first title? Darkwing, The Black Angel, they all came later. First she was Justice's Shadow. And that's who she was for years. The one in the dark who pointed out the guilty ones to blind Justice."

"You've been talking to her again."

"Yes. It helps me. I know she's still dead but I can still get advice."

"Does she still talk in riddles?"

"All the time."

And Tora turned away.

"I've got papers to mark. I should get them done tonight."

"You're a good teacher."

"I hope I'm better than my old teachers."

"That's not funny."

"Oh but it is."

And she moved quickly, hurrying up the stairs before either Logan or Hank could stop her.

"By the way Hank, the lab's on fire."

Hank froze, sniffed then went charging off, a name coming out in a roar.

"XIIIXXXXYYYYY!"

* * *

><p>The three women laughed.<p>

"Did he ever succeed in setting fire to the whole mansion?"

"He blew up the brig on Utopia once."

"He…blew it up?"

"No one knew exactly **how** he did it."

"He blew up the brig?"

"Yes. That's what I said."

"As in the brig designed to survive in outer space.

"Yes, that brig."

"How?"

"I just **said** I didn't know."

"That's the old you. Finally."

* * *

><p>She moved carefully, going through the motions slowly and precisely. If required, she could do it with the same precision at three times the speed and with fatal results. But at the moment, she was relaxing. So she moved slowly, concentrating on her breathing and the exact position of her limbs. She held each move for three seconds before going smoothly into the next. Back at the facility, this had always been done fast, with her teachers expecting her to get it perfect at full-speed. It was only later that she'd learned how to relax, how to do Tai Chi and so on. As once the moves had made her afraid, upped her heart rate and adrenalin, now they helped her breathe and let the stress out. And she <strong>needed<strong> to get the stress out.

She was on mission control **again** and in the last week over eight alternate reality versions of herself had died. One had been unable to take the strain of heroing, teaching and every other little job and slit her wrists in the bath (always trying to be tidy). Another had got on the wrong side of Magneto one time too many and found her body ripped to shreds by the very metal that held her skeleton together. One had been executed for the murder of over eight thousand baseline humans. Yet another had failed to catch Storm's hand as she had fallen down into the sea after blowing up the Sentinel. It turned out drowning **kept** her dead. Note to self, stay away from deep water. Molecular disarrangement also was a nasty way to go. Another note to self. Next time you go up against a powerful telekinetic, don't tell them to 'do your worst'. Actually, most her deaths had been as a result of her own stubbornness, although she didn't count the accident with the vaporiser. **That** was Reed's fault. What **idiot** puts a robot with a vaporiser on guard outside his lab when he **knows** he has visitors? Idly wondering what Scott had done to Reed, Tora finished the kata. It was quite odd feeling your life slip away and yet knowing you were still alive. The first time it had happened, she'd panicked. But Logan had held her tight as Professor Robson had slowly dissected her for failing on a mission. And out of compassion, Tora had remained, calming X-ii and taking the pain from her. It was difficult, tiring, but she'd managed it. And the **relief** from her counterpart had been so strong she'd taken to doing this often. Stealing pain and giving the better emotions. It was weighing down on her. The others were helping but there were so **few** with enough good memories to take the pain on. And then there were realities where mutants didn't exist. In those ones, she could read her own thoughts but they couldn't read hers. Although she **could **influence them. Not that she would of course. But if she wanted too, she could. She changed quickly, getting ready for lessons. Last day before the Christmas holidays. She was looking forward to some time alone. Peace and quiet. And more time with Eloise. She'd always known the whole X-Men thing wasn't for her. And so she was now quite happy taking the telekinetic lessons. And worrying about her relationship with Luke and whether eighteen was too young to be properly 'involved'. That didn't bother Kitty and Piotr much.

She smiled at Xixy as he walked into the Danger Room after her, his thickened goo forming fearsome black armour. He'd 'come out' as an alien and was actually one of the more popular heroes. Possibly because he kept coming out with ridiculous remarks in front of reporters. Oh well. Win some, lose some. She threw her pen into the air and caught it absent-mindedly, her thoughts already going to May. And the babies.

* * *

><p>No smiles. No laughs. Just sadness.<p>

"To do that to a child…"

"To do it to a mother…"

"Jean, it was worse for the child."

"I lost both my children, even if they **weren't** my children."

"And I lost every single one. They all died while I remained young. I never got a chance… Never had a chance…"

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>I've got prelims (mock exams) and I need to revise. Expect updates sporadically. Sorry for any inconvenience caused._


	78. Snow!

**Memories**

Snow!

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She crept up behind the man and suddenly dumped her armful of snow on his head before running away, laughing madly.

"TORA!"

"Catch me if you can."

Swearing colourfully, he chased after her.

"Going to kill you…"

"Really?"

Another face-full of snow came his way. Somehow, she could run in the snow, throw snowballs and **still** not run into anything. He tried to throw some snow but it fell short. Tora laughed again, her face sparkling with laughter. He was larger than she was and sank into the snow. She was quick and able to slip over it, as well as wearing shoes designed for thick snow. Then she tripped and he came up behind her with a pile of snow.

"Prepare to be punished for that."

Then he ran straight into Logan, Bobby, Kurt and Warren, all with evil grins on their faces.

"Er…guys? Please don't."

"Not a chance Slim."

And the leader of the X-Men was suddenly covered in the snow Eloise had been holding telekinetically over his head.

"And that, students, concludes our demonstration of what **not** to do when someone challenges you."

Scott stuck his head out from the snow.

"Not. Funny."

Which had the others rolling about in the snow laughing.

* * *

><p>Jean laughed as well.<p>

"That was brilliant. Freezing Scott **and** having a laugh at the same time."

"Yes. It was difficult to plan something like that."

"Very difficult."

"Later on though, it was easy."

"You know, Emma was good for him, in her own way."

* * *

><p>Laughter. Friendship. Sitting together, just like old times, presents flying as Bobby threw them across the room.<p>

"Xixy, this one's from Tora."

Xixy opened it to find a new set of labware.

"Now Hank can't complain about you blowing up his stuff. I sort of 'borrowed' this from Reed. I think his equipment is the most industrial strength stuff. I did put money down, it's just Reed's stuff is darn near impossible to get hold of."

"You stole it?"

"I placed three times it's worth on the desk. It's not my fault the bills were soon buried. Reed's lab is organised chaos."

They were laughing again. More gifts were exchanged, art equipment for Piotr, science stuff for Hank. They were a family, or as close as a family could be. There was teasing and jokes, nicknames used. Friends. Forever. No more, no less. At least, that's what everyone thought.

"Unca Bew!"

And Hank had slightly sticky hands grab onto his fur as Jamie snuggled into the warm chest of his favourite 'Uncle'. There was a contented snort and then small snores.

"Is it just me, or does Jamie like using you as his snuggle blanket?"

"I assure you, I am not his snuggle blanket."

"Then why will he only sleep with a royal blue faux fur heated blanket?"

Laughter followed this remark.

"Hank, it's official. You're Jamie's snuggle blanket."

"I am **not**!"

And Luke immediately chorused in a sing-song voice.

"Oh yes you are!"

"I am **not**!"

Betsy joined in.

"Oh yes you are!"

And no one was able to remain on their seats as they laughed their heads off.

* * *

><p>The three cosmic entities, who should know better, laughed as well, until a hand crashed into the water, shattering the image.<p>

"Careful! This is a highly reactive scrying glass powered by life itself. You do **not**, I repeat, **not** hit it."

"You used to hit computers."

"They were computers. I'm still not entirely sure how this thing works."

"You've had the entire span of the Universe and you **still** don't know how this works?"

"It's complicated."

* * *

><p>She frowned.<p>

_I'm not interested._

_But you need to learn._

_I can learn later. I'm happy where I am._

_But you need to know how to **be** Dragon._

_I thought I was doing it very well, thank you very much._

_You are still **too **human. You insist on holding onto your little worries. You must dispense of these._

_I am human. I cannot be anything else._

_You **must** be. You are Dragon._

_I am Tora._

_You **must** be Dragon. Else there is no hope._

_For what? You never tell me anything._

_You must trust me._

_After the whole trying to kill the X-Men thing? Not a chance. You need to trust me._

_This is difficult. I cannot explain the importance of what must happen in a language originating to scream insults to the monkey in the next tree._

_You're quoting Hex._

_I cannot help it. I am Knowledge. And the Past. I cannot change. You are adaptable. And this is why we will survive._

_**Excuse me**?_

_I need you. You need me. Simple._

_I do **not** need you. I managed perfectly well without you._

_So you would have survived that stabbing?_

_I'm an X-Man. Death is something that happens to other people._

_You are **impossible**. _

_Why thank you._

_That **wasn't** a compliment._

_I know._

And she cut off the link, fed up with the constant demands.

* * *

><p>"That was the beginning of everything going wrong, wasn't it?"<p>

"The beginning of her hating Dragon? Yes it was."


	79. Vases and Bookcases

**Memories**

Vases and Bookcases

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She stood quietly, waiting for the others to file in.

"You lot okay?"

"Logan got eviscerated after insulting the Leader but everyone's fine."

"What is it with him and insulting powerful evil men…or women?"

"Says the woman who spat in Doom's face when she was helpless."

"I was annoyed. I had a reason."

"You had a reason for insulting a megalomaniac?"

"Hey, I used to insult **Sabretooth** at the beginning. Not a mistake I will make again in a hurry. That man is **nasty**."

"Only you would call Sabretooth nasty."

"Hey, I prize sarcasm."

"And don't we all know it."

She laughed and Logan limped out. She immediately pretended to look annoyed.

"I let you go out and you come back in pieces."

"Says a woman who has died on me twice."

"Once."

"Twice."

"Once."

"Okay, okay. Died on me once and pretended to die in my arms once."

"That's better."

And then he hugged her.

"I missed your sarcastic comments."

"Like?"

"Well, no one called the Leader 'Big-Headed-Green-Boy."

"I only called him that **once**."

"And it will haunt you for the rest of your life. Why are you down here anyway?"

"Er…Cable's here. And he has a crazy merc in red and black. Who sounds…odd. I thought Scott should deal with this."

"You're giving Scott the horrible job?"

"It's his son. His problems."

"You are evil, you know that?"

"Of course. I would show you how evil, but then you'd go all hero on me."

"Are they **flirting**?"

"Bobby, shut up. And yes, I think they are flirting."

"That is just…weird…"

"Who's flirting?"

"Ah. Scott. Nathan's upstairs with someone called 'Deathpond'. I think that's what he said…"

"Deathpond…? Are you serious?"

"Look, that's what I thought Cable called him. I'm not an expert on these things."

"Says the woman who finds out what a villain's name is and then comes up with a derogatory version of it that soon becomes the real version. I never thought that 'Tame Brain' would stick."

"Look, Wild Heart was a **stupid** name to begin with. I just made it even sillier."

"Right. Let's go see my son."

"They were **flirting**…?"

"Drop it Icecube."

"_Touchè _Logan."

"Bobby, your accent is horrendous."

"Yeah well, I can't speak eight hundred languages."

"It's more like eight now Bobby."

"Yeah, it's still more than me."

They were laughing when they entered the room. Then Logan growled.

"Wilson…"

"Hey, if it isn't our resident grouchy-poo Logan! Say hello to your old buddy mate!"

"Wade…"

"Hey, you guys know each other?"

"Shut up Icecube. Wade Wilson, aka Deadpool."

"Oops. I called you Deathpond."

"Whoa! After this whole thing is over, do you want to come and get some tacos with me?"

Hank and Kurt immediately leapt over and caught Logan's arms. Unfortunately, no one thought to restrain Tora. There was a sickening thud and she stood, holding a stone vase over her head after hitting Deadpool right between the eyes.

"I. Don't. Date. Weirdos. I also happen to be **married**."

Cable looked as if he was trying to conceal a smirk.

"I did tell you Wade. **Mrs** Logan doesn't do chat-up lines."

"Wait, she's married to **Wolverine**? Why didn't you say…? Oh, I am **so** dead…"

* * *

><p>"Didn't he always try to ask her out?"<p>

"It was rather funny… Every time they met, he'd ask her to go on a date with him and she'd hit him with something heavy. It ended up becoming a ritual. They'd meet, he'd try to flirt, she'd hit him, they'd sue for grievous bodily harm and sexual harassment respectively."

"And Logan…?"

"Thought it was hilarious. And he didn't have to beat up Wade."

"Ahhh…Wade…"

"Lovesick cosmic entity alert! Quick, get the ice cubes!"

And Death sighed.

"Are you two **always** this immature?"

"Not very often. But sometimes we just have to be a little stupid. Here's the ice by the way. Three iced lemonades. At least I think they're lemonades… I haven't quite worked out how to make carbon dioxide out of nothing… Or lemons for that matter…"

* * *

><p>She stopped in the garden, facing Jean. Or what looked like Jean anyway. They made an odd couple. A tall, thin woman dress in red and gold, fiery hair flicking in the breeze and the other, shorter, woman, dressed in jeans and a loose plain blue t-shirt, red and black hair not moving at all. At first glance, the first looked more powerful. And then you realized just how strong the wind was… And you realized that the second woman was not afraid. Not like the others.<p>

"Who are you to stop me, Phoenix, Life Incarnate?"

"A good question. Unfortunately, I am Dragon. I am the only one who will stand up to you and **not** pull my punches despite the fact you are the best friend I could **ever** have. Because I know what it's like. The rolling, exhilarating darkness."

"You do not look like Dragon to me. Dragon knows **all**. And Dragon chooses not to live."

"A year behind darling. Because I am your best friend, sister and reflection, all rolled into one conveniently sized five foot four package."

"There is life in you…"

"Hole in one. Strictly speaking, I shouldn't be out here. Hank is going to **kill** me. But I'm the only one who understands. But there's something else **Phoenix**. I have an empathic link with Jean Grey-Summers. Not Phoenix to Dragon, but Jean to Tora. And Jean is screaming in my head. You aren't her. You're just wearing her body. And so I have no qualms whatsoever about doing **this**."

Her arms, which had been crossed over her chest, hands resting on shoulders, snapped down and the dragon burst around her, spinning towards Phoenix. The firebird instantly grappled with the waves.

"Again, we struggle. Odd isn't it. We never told the others the truth about us. Eternally fighting, to burn and to heal. And now we fight again."

The two women who were more moved swiftly, using instincts older than time itself. Back and forth, water and fire, past and future. Every world Phoenix burned, Dragon fought it for. And every world Dragon healed, Phoenix fought against. They were reflections and rivals. Equal and opposite forces. Old and new, used and unused life.

"TORA!"

"Get back Hank. This is my battle. My…_raison d'être_."

"Your reason to be? Tora?"

"_The two children of life shalt fight for each world. _

_Neither can leave unless The Tribunal is told. _

_First is the Phoenix,_

_Fire and Life Incarnate,_

_Burns away the stagnant._

_Second, the Dragon,_

_Water and Life Renewed,_

_Heals what is dying._"

"Tora… You're five months along. You can't do this…"

"I can do this Hank. This is what I **have** to do."

And then the fire struck her temples. She screamed and the dragon flickered, before becoming even bigger.

"I don't want to do this. But I am duty personified. Oh, I'm quoting Discworld again, aren't I? I promised not to do that… Or quote Queen…"

"Dragon? Are you insane Sister?"

"Only enough to deal with life. I'm afraid you're totally insane. Bonkers. Crazy. Mad. Off the deep end. Daft. Loopy. Berserk. Barmy. Completely and utterly nuts. Oops, I'm rambling."

And then the dragon caught Phoenix and pulled her in towards Tora.

"Jean, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Now trust me."

And they both disappeared. Logan moved forward.

"TORA! Where is she!"

Hank froze, staring at the small device he was holding. Then he spoke very, very quietly.

"Would you believe, out of this **multiverse**?"

The others looked at him oddly.

"What?"

"Our Tora has disappeared from all universes. There isn't a trace of her **anywhere**."

xXx

They burst out of the water and Tora dragged Jean to the side of the pool.

"Well that went well."

Jean was gasping, flickering between red, green and white costumes.

"Tora…?"

"Look, I'm about to do something I only know the **theory** for. I have two options. One, remove the Phoenix from you forever by giving it space in my head, which is cluttered enough already, or Two, bond you fully, preventing Phoenix taking any other avatar and solving your minor insanity problem once and or all. Your choice."

_And Jean looked at her._

"_Take it."_

_And to save her friend, Tora did just that and the last of her humanity burned away, turning her into a being of pure energy, a tiny piece of personality in the being that was Phoenix-Dragon. And she went home, only to be shunned and trapped for her power. And she lay in the cell, silent and resentful until she had gathered her strength. And the universe **burned** as she gained her revenge. All who stood against her, all who tried to trap her, died begging for mercy. The Shi'ar, the Skrulls, the Kree, the K'Meer, all the heroes and villains of Earth as her powers swept out of control. And when she realized what she had become, she went to the Library where the shades of Tora and Jean were in that familiar pose. Jean lying on the ground, Tora leaning over her. And she whispered what would happen into their ears._

And Jean looked at her.

"Bond us."

And Tora pressed her hand to her friend's head and found the Phoenix there. She reached out, brought it all together and knitted the bird of the Phoenix with Jean's glowing, warm, alive mind, binding them together forever. Giving Phoenix true, **genuine** life and Jean all the power of Phoenix.

"You are Phoenix and Phoenix is you."

And she dropped down, exhausted. That had been the single most difficult thing she had ever done.

_Now tell me you are not the true Dragon._

_I did what I had to do._

_Which means you are Dragon._

_I am **not**._

"Tora, can you stop yelling."

"I'm not…"

"I can hear your thoughts…wait, I can hear your thoughts?"

"Don't look at me. Now, your body is still in a partial state of decomposition. The best plan of action is for me to return your body to Earth and leave your soul in the White Hot Room."

"How do you know about that?"

Tora pointed to the book on the pedestal, golden cover and pages with a Phoenix symbol picked out in fire.

"I sort of read it."

"You…YOU READ MY BOOK!"

"No. I read **Phoenix's** book. Jean Grey-Summers book is somewhere in the main Library. Only the cosmic entities books are kept in the Heart. Wait, I haven't got a clue about all of this… DRAGON!"

What followed was the incredibly interesting and slightly disturbing sight of two people having an argument using the same larynx, tongue and mouth. Unfortunately, it was impossible to tell who was who as the accents gradually slipped until they were screaming insults in a language older than the universe.

"_Ast in rar kir br-_"

The words were cut off and another voice, identical, started up.

"_Ist mar del stu crrrt -_"

"_Crrrt? Stal mert ji swe na-_"

"Excuse me?"

Two voices chorused in unison.

"What?"

"Can you stop doing that? It's creepy."

"What?"

"The interrupting each other from the same mouth."

"Were we? We were…"

And suddenly there was the sound of two laughs coming from one mouth.

"We'll see you Jean. Wait a bit, rest, heal. I'll be there."

"You'd better."

And Tora smiled as she stepped back into the pool, concentrating. This was really rather difficult…

xXx

"Our Tora has disappeared from all universes. There isn't a trace of her **anywhere**."

"I'm back."

"Tora? What the… JEAN!"

She looked down at Jean's body.

"What happened?"

"I gave her peace. I didn't kill her… I just gave her a respite."

"Tora?"

"She'll be back in about… one hundred and fifty years."

"Tora?"

"Look, don't ask. It's complicated."

"Where were you?"

"Er… Would you believe the Afterlife?"

A foot tapped.

"Look, Jean's place is a part of the Afterlife. I'm still not certain exactly **where** I went. And I can't say before you ask."

"Tora…"

"Don't. Ask."

And she suddenly collapsed in the snow. Hank and Logan picked her up.

"Don't worry. It's just exhaustion. I think…"

* * *

><p>Jean smiled sadly.<p>

"She did a good job. Since that day, I never knew where I ended and Phoenix began."

"Is that a good thing?"

"…Yes… I suppose it is…"


	80. Down in the Alley

**Memories**

Down in the Alley

Disclaimer: What do you think? If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"Come on, you can't call a kid that. It's not a common name."

"I don't see what's wrong with Etana Logan."

"As a middle name, fine. But you can't call her that. Anyway, you'd end up confusing everyone."

"How?"

"By talking about Etana as in Shadow and people thinking you meant Etana as in our daughter."

"Like anyone would mistake a child's comments for Etana's. What?"

"Do you know what Jamie said yesterday?"

"What?"

"This smells worse than London in the 17th century. And where do you think he learnt that from?"

"Oh…"

"Hank took him to Stephan to make sure he wasn't possessed."

"Oh."

"How about Eva?"

"Logan… You'd call her that. If we have a girl."

"Yeah. I reckon you'd want some way of remembering her."

"And if we have two girls?"

"I… Why are you looking at me?"

"Eva Etana is our first choice and Eva was my friend and I wanted to call my daughter Etana. So you get first dibs on the second choice girls name."

"I… I've always… Rose. I like the name Rose. And Jean as a second name."

"Anyone you know? Or knew?"

"I… I don't…I don't think so…"

She sighed slightly.

"Right. Number One Girls Name, Eva Etana. Number Two Girls Name, Rose Jean. Boys names? I think Kurt."

"You can't call a kid Kurt when Elf's still alive. That would get way too complicated."

"Curt with a C? Short for Curtis?"

"Isn't that the name of the creepy scientist who turns into a lizard?"

"So? The name doesn't mean they're all bad. Anyway, he'd probably end up being called C or Lil' Wolvie or something."

"Don't. Call. Me. Wolvie."

"Jubilee calls you that. Now, we can't use Charles as that's Jamie's middle name. I'd use Steve as a middle name."

"So Curt Steve? Curtis Steven? I would want to use Logan but Logan Logan would just be a trifle too silly."

"I feel that I don't have much choice in this."

"No _Carcajou_. You don't."

"John? I remember the name John… from somewhere…"

"I like Henry."

"There are far too many Henrys. Hank McCoy, Hank Pym, Henry Peter Gyrich."

"Most of them are Hanks. And John Henry sounds fine."

"Right then. Put them on the list."

She smiled.

"I always get my way, don't I?"

"Well, you smile and I forget I'm supposed to be sensible."

She laughed.

"I really love you, you know."

"I should hope so."

He pulled her in for a hug, careful not to hurt her too much.

"I can't wait. You know that?"

She smiled.

"I've been working with Hank on the delivery notes. Twins are smaller than singles but there's still some dangers. Oh, and Emma is certain they have a telepathic link. At any rate, one calmed the other down with a bond. Charles doesn't think it's a telepathic link though. He's going for an empathic link at best."

He smiled softly and placed a hand on her stomach.

"You two kids have the best mother ever, you hear?"

"Don't bias them Logan."

"It's true!"

* * *

><p>"Bias? Only she would say that."<p>

"Well it's true."

"What, she was the best mother or Logan was biasing them?"

"Both… I think…Er…Um…"

"Cosmic entity of indecision coming through!"

"OI!"

* * *

><p>She stepped into the cold February air and breathed deeply. Alone. Logan and Hank would have <strong>kittens<strong> when they found out she'd 'ran off' to get out of the cosy, warm, **restrictive** atmosphere of the mansion. Not that it wasn't nice or anything. But she was a free spirit and needed to get out. Out of the cloying and coddling and niceties. She was Tora and she was a wild, feral mutant under all the layers of pretence. And Dragon… Oh, Dragon pretended as well. Pretended to be the scholar, the archivist. But really was as wild and free and Phoenix. Most of the time, Dragon pretended to be a plodding river or a calm sea. But in reality, it was the storm-swept seas, the tsunami, the wild rapids that were the true heart of Dragon. Of course, they both hid it well. They had to. Tora had learnt early on with the X-Men. Conform to civilisation, even if you do not understand. Well she was sick of conforming. So this was her little act of rebellion. Leaving the mansion, even if it was just to go to a coffee bar in the wrong end of town. The place was tiny, grubby tables and possibly mugs as well. The coffee was great though. So she came here once a week, never at the same time, never on the same day. Once a week but with enough variation to prevent the others becoming suspicious. She smiled as she walked along the street and down the alley. A short-cut. She could easily handle any low-lifes. All it would take was a flash of the claws and they ran screaming. Or if that failed, a little Dragon would scare them senseless. Of course, if a powered crook attacked her, the best thing to do would be to paralyse them and ring Spidey. Spidey would joke around and make stupid remarks but he was capable of keeping his mouth shut when he needed to. She sighed. Then turned as the scent caught her nostrils. Two men, both carrying knives.

"What have we here? A little lady walking all on her own."

"I don't want to hurt you. Just leave me alone and the police will not have to reassemble you."

"Bit stupid lady, when we're the ones holding the knives and you aren't in a fit state to fight."

"Really? I can already see eighteen ways to kill you, fifteen of which are slow and painful."

"What are you?"

"Have you heard of the Black Widow?"

"You aren't her. She's a Russian chic."

"Well, I'm about eight times better than her. And a **lot **more secret."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Really."

And the slender silvery claws slid out of their sheathes.

"Adamantium. Can cut through anything except proto-adamantium and adamantium."

Then why were the men leering?

"Good. You just confirmed you were our target."

The knife slashed and she brought the claws up. Normally the metal of her claws would slice straight through the metal of the knife. Instead sparks flew as they grated together. And her eyes widened as she realised that this had been planned.

* * *

><p>The woman in black with the ice mask winced.<p>

"That was plain evil, setting two thugs on a woman who was unable to defend herself."

"Well, it was the only way to defeat her unless you used a powerful electromagnet."

"That's cheating."

"Well it worked."

* * *

><p>"Xavier School for Higher Education."<p>

"Mr Logan?"

"No. He's teaching at the moment. Is he in trouble?" The last sentence was indecently hopeful.

"Who is this?"

"Mr Summers, headmaster."

"Mr Summers, I think that Mr Logan should come immediately. This is the Westchester State Hospital."

"What…!"

"I'm afraid I can't talk to anyone but a relative of a Mrs Tora Logan."

"Would…would her sister do?"

"I feel her husband would be a better choice."

Scott pressed the button.

"Logan, up here now."

"Slim, the class is in the middle of an exercise."

"It's important."

"X-business?"

"No. Logan, it's about Tora."

No answer. Then Scot started counting down from fifty. He'd got to thirty-eight when Logan burst in.

"Tora? What's wrong Slim?"

"I have Mr Logan here now. Logan, you should take the phone."

"Mr Logan?"

"Yeah. Who is this?"

"Dr Hamilton of the Westchester State Hospital. It's about your wife."

"Tora…"

"She was found in an alley after being attacked. She suffered multiple stab wounds and a beating. What worries us more is that she is six months pregnant. Mr Logan, I'd advise you to come to the hospital as soon as possible."

"What's wrong?"

"Your wife is about to have twins three months early. And there are…complications."

A series of swear words came after this remark.

"Slim, cover my classes. I have to get there as fast as possible."

"Kurt, can you come here please."

Logan smiled.

"Thanks Slim."

"Tora's my friend Logan. I care about her just like you do."

* * *

><p>There were no words. What could be said in this frozen room, where time had no meaning, by three beings that were not human about the most human plight of all.<p> 


	81. Screaming and Slipping

**Memories**

Screaming and Slipping

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She was screaming as the woefully unprepared midwives attempted to make unmoveable joints bend, gave painkillers that were expelled from her system in seconds. They were confused and scared and more than half had refused to help when they realized they were dealing with a mutant. And when Logan had arrived, fearful looks had been flung his way.

"Mr Logan."

"Yes."

"I'm Dr Hamilton. I need to talk to you about your wife. Nothing we seem to do can help her but her records say she has already given birth. Who was the doctor in charge?"

"Dr Reyes, with help from Dr McCoy."

"**The **Dr McCoy?"

"Yeah. I have the notes he made. He was preparing for this birth as well."

"And your wife. The infants are not going to be born naturally. We will need to do a C-section but each time we start, the incisions heal."

"I've got something for that."

The doctor frowned at the vial.

"What is this?"

"An enzyme that slows and in some cases halts the mutant healing factor. Sorry, I don't know what it means, I'm just regurgitating what Hank and Tora say when they get excited."

"Your wife knew what was coming?"

"She knows better than anyone the risks."

"And her bones?"

"Adamantium. Implanted as a teenager."

"I've never heard of adamantium being used as bone replacements."

"Who said it was medical?"

The doctor paled.

"Smart lady. No one works that out as quickly as you do."

"That's…that's Weapon Plus… No, I swear I wasn't a part of it. I reported my superior who used to brag about it."

No smell of lies.

"Let me in."

The doctor nodded and waved the vial.

"With this stuff, I'll be able to sort this mess out."

Logan nodded curtly and prepared to walk into the room.

"You need protective clothing."

Logan snarled.

"I have a faster healing than she does."

"And that's the point. It's infection to her that is the real danger."

Ten minutes later, Logan was having his hand crushed as Tora, no longer screaming, locked eyes with his. She half opened her mouth.

"Hurts…"

"I know. Well, actually I don't."

He was gabbling. He, Logan, Wolverine, grumpy, antisocial, loner X-Man Wolverine, was gabbling. He calmed himself. No use going to pieces when she needed him.

"You've been through worse, remember? Doom, Creed, that stupid black hole business."

Laughter bubbled up in her eyes before the next wave of pain hit her. Something undistinguishable in French came out through clenched teeth. One of the midwives giggled nervously and spoke to Logan in a New Orleans accent.

"She says you haven't got a clue about pain and she will introduced you to a whole new brand when she gets home. I've removed the swearing."

He blinked.

"Swearing? She doesn't swear."

"Oh, she was."

He suddenly became aware that if he didn't have metal bones, his hands would be splinters by now. Her pupils were slit like with fear and he was suddenly more aware than ever that she wasn't even thirty yet. Most of the time she acted so old, so sensible, had seen so much that she acted like she'd lived several lifetimes. And now he was looking into the eyes of a young woman who was afraid and… it wasn't Tora. It was Marie, the girl who had 'died' in the hell of Tora's life.

"Tora?"

"Others…helping…taking pain…"

"Can they do that?"

"I…do it…all the…time."

"You would."

A flash of a smile and then his hand was being crushed again. Don't look at anywhere but her face, try not to smell the blood, keep her occupied while Dr Hamilton does her job. Keep her from thinking about them cutting into her flesh, through skin and muscle. Keep her from going back to the hell of Weapon X.

"Hurts…Logan, it…**hurts**."

And she couldn't hold it in any longer. Waves started playing around her hands, and specks of blood appeared on her knuckles.

"Control yourself."

"Easy…easy for you…for you to…to say."

"Sarcasm. Sarcasm is good."

And her eyes changed, relaxing. Then going thinner than he'd ever seen them go before.

"_Où suis-je? Où suis-je? Qu'est-ce qui se passe? Quentin?_"

The New Orleans woman turned and frowned, obviously looking at Logan for direction.

"Calm her down. This doesn't happen often."

"_C'est bon, c'est bon, vous êtes sûr_."

"_Où suis-je?_"

"Westchester, New York."

"_AMÉRIQUE!_"

And her eyes relaxed and looked at him.

"Logan? Thought…thought you were dead."

"What?"

When she was like this, slipping through realities, it was best just to go along with her.

"Magento…pulled my claws out…made me stab you…killed you…I killed you…"

"Don't worry. You didn't."

"Didn't do what? Logan, where's Hank? He said he'd be here."

"He can't be here Tora."

"Tora? Who's Tora?"

Then she flushed.

"Sorry…didn't mean to…lose control… feel like an idiot."

She grimaced, both from pain and trying to keep her mind tethered to her body.

Then Dr Hamilton smiled.

"Girl. And a boy."

Tora gave a look of pure **relief** and suddenly collapsed backwards, unconscious.

Logan turned. Two tiny babies were being handed to a nurse of some sort.

"Where are you taking them!"

"Your children are not only twins but premature. They'll have to stay in intensive care for a while."

He didn't know what to do. Go after the twins…Eva and Curt…or to stay with Tora. In the end it was decided for him.

"Some people claiming to be friends of yours are outside."

He walked out, feeling odd, as if something terrible was going to happen. Kurt, sans blue fur and tail pulled him into a hug.

"How's Tora?"

"Exhausted."

"And the twins?"

"Curt and Eva."

"Kurt?"

"Curt-with-a-C."

"I am honoured."

"Tora's idea."

"Can we see her?"

"I don't think so."

Hank, also with an image inducer on, came over.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"It's okay Hank."

"Mr Logan, your wife is conscious now. Only three visitors at a time though."

Quick glances decided on Kurt and 'Ro to go into the room with Logan. The cuts on Tora's stomach were already healing, after Logan's suggestion to cut out the tissue contaminated with the healing-halter. She looked worse than he had ever seen her, except for the times when she was dead but he wasn't counting those. Actually, he had seen her in worse states. Normally hanging in manacles and singing 'I Know A Song That'll Get On Your Nerves' repeatedly.

"I. Will. Never. Forgive. You."

"My fault? You insult me like that."

"Couldn't you have brought Hank in?"

"The nice doctor would have been upset."

"Elf, I didn't ask for your opinion. Thanks for coming you two."

Storm smiled.

"You are in hospital again. We have to be there for you and for the doctors' sanity."

Tora grinned and looked like she normally did when she was about to say something biting and sarcastic to an evil madman with a torture chamber.

"Well-"

"Mr Logan? Mrs Logan?"

It was Dr Hamilton, an odd look on her face.

"A moment alone please."

Ororo and Kurt exchanged worried glances and left. Through the glass in the door, they saw the doctor's lips move, saw the look of shock on Logan's face. And the utter devastation on Tora's. And then the doctor walked out, head down.

"Dr Hamilton? I am Dr McCoy. What is… What is wrong?"

The woman, bags around her eyes and a look of pain on her face glanced up.

"The boy. The boy died."

* * *

><p>Death and Phoenix glanced at their companion whose face was fixed on the waters.<p>

"Friend?"

"Jean. Scan her mind."

"Why me?"

"I want guilt absolved from her."

Phoenix nodded and touched the face of the doctor.

"No. She wasn't responsible in any way."

"Good. Else I would have torn her soul to shreds."


	82. Vengence

**Memories**

Vengence

Disclaimer: What do you think? If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Logan sniffed again and followed the scents. Tora's blood was like a beacon, her own unique scent layered over the men's. When he found them, he was going to kill them slowly, preferably over a period of a couple of days until they begged him to kill them. And even then, he wouldn't. Turn right. They went into the bar. Two hours later by the scents, they left. Drunk. Good. That would make his job easier. Now keep on following that scent.

Anger. That was the most prominent emotion. And hatred and pain. What men would attack a woman who couldn't defend herself, yet stop short of killing her? If Poacher wasn't locked up in Ryker's in a maximum security cell, he'd have thought she was responsible. Of course, she was very like Tora, and Tora could have broken out by now. Sniffing again, he came to a door. Both men had entered, neither had exited. And he was most definitely not going to knock.

His fist slammed through the door and a charge broke it down. The two men started upright from their seats watching the TV.

"What the-"

And then they saw the claws, the hair, the snarling face and went white.

"He said he couldn't find us!"

"Who said?"

"Not gonna say."

"Wrong answer."

He hit out at one, knocking him down and rammed the other against the wall. The middle claw retracted and then his fist was under his captive's chin.

"You wouldn't-"

"I ain't a hero **bub**. I just look out fer my own. And you attacked one of them."

Fear in the man's eyes.

"You know, I won't kill you quickly. I'll take my time."

"Yeah right."

Logan swirled round and his claws sliced through the wrist of the other man who was preparing to attack him from behind. The severed hand fell to the floor and Logan turned back to the first man.

"Won't I? Next hand I take'll be yours. Then your other hand, then his other hand. Then your feet, and your lower arms. WHO HIRED YOU?"

The man started babbling then screamed as the middle claw began to poke up out of Logan's hand.

"SUBLIME! It was someone called Sublime! I swear I don't know anything else!"

Disgusted at the cowardice, Logan dropped the man.

"I would kill you but I don't want my record soiled by two snivelling babies."

He marched out. Tora needed him.

* * *

><p>Phoenix winced.<p>

"There had to be a better way of doing that."

"What would you suggest? Having Emma rip the knowledge from their heads? Ask politely? Get Hank to slam their heads together?"

* * *

><p>Hank sighed as he passed Tora in the library. Three weeks ago, she would have asked him what was wrong. Now, all she did was stare out of the window, getting up early in the morning and going to bed at who knew what time, refusing to talk to anyone and an apparent inability to eat anything when anyone else was there. She appeared exhausted and pretty much ignored everyone, even Jamie and Eva. Logan was doing pretty well on his own looking after Eva, simply bringing her to Tora for hourly feeds. Kurt, who had been in the library doing nothing other than looking for a play to use for his Drama class, had been sent scuttling out in a tirade of abuse. And Ororo had sworn that she had seen the ever-patient Tora throwing a book across the room because it was '<em>stupide<em>'. And in the letters he had seen he scribble, Hank had noticed that the usually flowing script was now spiky and illegible. It was all adding up and Hank didn't like the picture it was creating.

"Tora?"

"Please go away."

"Tora, we need to talk."

"What is there to talk about? I feel empty-"

Damn, another symptom.

"I'm sad all the time. I'm a rubbish mother. I can't cope. Why am I even here?"

Double damn. She was displaying almost all the symptoms. Hopelessness, a feeling of emptiness, lack of faith in her own ability, withdrawal from social situations, interrupted eating and sleeping…

"Tora…?"

"I said, **go away**."

And heeding to the little voice telling him an annoyed, irrational and depressed Tora would not be nice to handle, Beast did just that.

* * *

><p>"I thought healing dealt with all that?"<p>

"Think again."

* * *

><p>"Logan, think of a word to describe Tora. I need to know honestly.<p>

"Is this the only reason you brought me down here Blue?"

"Please Logan."

"Fine. Depressed. That do?"

"Logan, you have just confirmed. Tora **is** depressed."

"What do you expect! Our son **died** Hank!"

"No Logan. Tora is **depressed**. As is clinical depression. Normally we would have picked it up before now but with her being upset, it slipped past us."

"What?"

"I mean, that Tora is displaying all the symptoms of postnatal depression or enough to make me think that she is depressed."

"But… Healing factor."

"Which your memory testifies, is mainly dealing with physical injuries, not mental ones. And we have already seen that Victor Creed is insane, something his healing **should** deal with."

"Tora…"

"Look, I think we can help her with this. But it will be difficult and she'll need us all to be there for her. Will you help?"

Ice-blue eyes met Beast's.

"Hell yeah."

* * *

><p>Phoenix winced.<p>

"That must have hurt him."

Death suddenly frowned.

"Why are we using vocal chords? We can communicate telepathically here."

"I don't like telepathic communication. I get headaches."


	83. Therapy

**Memories**

Therapy

Disclaimer: What do you think? If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Emma sat opposite the woman –her friend- slumped in the chair opposite. Once glossy hair was now lank and sparkling eyes, always looking for the humour in a bad situation, had a deadened look.

"Tora."

"Emma."

"You have to snap out of this."

"Out of what?"

Emma gestured in despair.

"All this!"

"I thought we agreed not to comment on each others dress habits."

The blue lips fell open.

"Tora?"

"What?"

As suddenly as the little spark of humour, of the old Tora, had arrived, it had gone, swept away in grieving and pain. Emma sighed. This had been going on for three days, where they went back and forth, Tora not caring what happened. Emma frowned.

"I need your help for what I'm about to do next."

"What?"

"I know Jean got into your head once. I need you to lower your shields."

"I can't."

"You can Tora. You have to."

"NO!"

"Why?"

Tora dropped her head into her hands.

"Ashamed."

"Of what? Your past? I promise I won't go there."

No answer.

"Is there something you don't want me to see? I won't go there if you don't want me to."

Tora shook her head.

"My mind's a death trap for telepaths. Especially you."

"Why?"

And she felt the shields warily drop down. And against her gut instinct, Emma gently entered Tora's mind.

_The dragon roared and tried to get at her but Tora was holding it back. She turned to Emma and nodded, a single piece of affirmation. Go where you need to go._

_Emma nodded in return and watched with detached curiosity at the battle that Tora was fighting. It seemed to involve Tora pulling pieces off Dragon and throwing them back at it. Then a single crystal shield was slung up between Tora and Dragon._

"_Where did you learn that?"_

"_Jean gave me lessons."_

_Now Emma could look around properly, she could see that the shield was made of the same stuff as the walls of the cavernous room she seemed to be in. Tora grinned._

"_Yeah, it's pretty lonely in here. I keep hearing my thoughts echoing."_

"_You're not Tora."_

"_Well I am, but I'm not. I'm not **your** Tora but I am **a **Tora if that makes sense."_

"_Why are you here?"_

"_Well the other Tora, your Tora is over there, through the door."_

"_What door-? Oh."_

"_Yes, I thought that when I first saw it as well."_

_The door towered over Emma. Whereas everything else was made of the pearly white crystal, that distorted things you could almost see through it, this was made of jet black stone, carved with images that Emma didn't want to look too hard at. She thought she saw a girl being savaged by dogs but she looked away before she saw anything worse. The other Tora was staring at it glumly._

"_Worst moments in our lives are used to decorate our doors. Not sure why. Oh, there's Etana's death. She's always very quiet about that. I swear she spends more time piggy-backing in my mind to have a chat with Etana than she spends in here."_

"_Is that when she gets that blank look and comes out with something profound?"_

"_Yeah, probably."_

_Then a roar split the air. The Tora grabbed Emma and pulled her through the door just as watery jaws snapped at where she would have been._

_They were in a maelstrom, being buffeted by winds and what felt like metal slashing across their faces._

"_HOLD ON!"_

"_What do you **think** I'm doing?"_

"_I've never done this before. Oh, that's the one she's in."_

_They were dragged towards the door, the Tora seemingly holding onto an invisible thread._

"_Welcome to an alternate reality!"_

_And Emma was treated to a full-blown Technicolour version of herself, smiling oddly._

"I'm afraid I can't pick him up. This outfit **is** Dior, you know."

Tora's voice echoed around the space they were in.

"Look, he won't puke or anything. Just hold him while I change Eva."

_And Emma watched as her alternate self picked up a baby with a look of wariness._

"Can't I hold Eva?"

"_Curt's the quiet one. Eva here is trouble."_

_Everything became crystal clear to Emma. Then she turned and saw another Tora crouching in the corner, gazing raptly at the baby in Emma's hand._

"_Is that my Tora?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Right."_

_Emma walked over to the crouching woman._

"_You have a daughter Tora. Come back and look after her."_

_She snarled at the White Queen, who automatically tried to shift to diamond form._

"_Tora, you can't do this."_

"_Why not?"_

"_Because **we** need you. X-Men stand by their own and you aren't standing by us. You're wishing your life away. You have a son and a daughter Tora. Look after **them**."_

"_Logan-"_

"_Logan can look after them? Really? You think he can feed and change Eva, look after Jamie, teach self-defence **and** work with the X-Men?"_

_Sad eyes looked up._

"_Just go Emma."_

"_I can't."_

"_Why not?"_

"_My lift's gone."_

_And the other Tora, who had brought her here, had indeed left._

"_I can't work that thing out there. I was almost swept away. How do you manage?"_

"_With difficulty."_

"_Please, help me get back. I need your help. **We** need **you**."_

"_No one needs me."_

"_YOUR CHILDREN NEED YOU!"_

_And Tora looked up._

"_I failed one of them already. I don't want to fail the others."_

"_By standing by, doing nothing, you're failing them. Do you want us to have to tell them that their mother died because she stopped caring? Or maybe, we could lie and tell them their mother loved them and died to save them. COME BACK YOU IDIOT!"_

_Tora stood up and Emma suddenly had the impression of **height**. Tora, here, in a different reality and in her own mind, was stronger than Emma._

"_Fine. Hold on."_

_And they were swept through the burning void between the worlds before reaching the door. Just as Tora reached out to press her hand to it, Emma grabbed her arm._

"_Dragon's through there."_

"_So?"_

"_It tried to kill me."_

"_Not a chance."_

_And she tugged Emma through the door._

"_LISTEN YOU GREAT LUMMOX! EMMA IS A **FRIEND**! YOU DO NOT TRY TO EAT HER!"_

_The dragon backed up._

"_She hurt Phoenix."_

"_I ripped her to shreds and stuffed the shreds in a black hole. I don't see you trying to eat **me**."_

_The dragon sighed and suddenly became a lot less threatening, decreasing in size until it was able to curl up around Tora's arm and rest it's head on her shoulder._

"_Miss Emma Grace Frost, accept my humble apologies about my aggression towards you. **Happy now**?"_

"_Yes. Right, as Emma said, I have two children who **need** my help."_

_And Emma was pointed to the door marked 'EXIT'. _

She blinked. Tora's mind had been…interesting. A seething mass of contradiction and wilderness. Tora, who gave the impression of calm and refinement, actually seemed to be a person with a wild, free, uninhibited being. Maybe even more so than Logan. There had been no **order** to her mind. Everything was piled together and sorted through later. Emma had never even thought she could touch a mind like that. And then the shields were back up, so Emma couldn't sense Tora's mind anymore. Golden eyes blinked.

"I need to go and see Logan."

The dead look had gone. Tora was back. Emma allowed a brief smile to flit across her lips.

* * *

><p>Phoenix made a noise halfway between amusement and despair.<p>

"Tora was **always** like that. She'd go through hell and then make some quiet remark and go about as normal."

Death laughed.

"If Dragon hadn't got there first, I would have **loved** to have her as an avatar. That perfect mix of black humour and understatement."

"You stay well away Missy. No going back in time to possess her."

"Who said I'd do that? What?"

One and a half pairs of eyes were staring at her.


	84. Iron to Rust, Rust to Iron

**Memories**

Iron to Rust, Rust to Iron

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She stood, quiet and still, just looking at Logan, fast asleep with Eva resting on his lap. Eva's red and black striped hair, so like her own, was tufty and bright on his dark shirt. Tora smiled and shifted, carrying Jamie back to his bed then going to collect Eva. Logan woke the moment Eva left his lap and his hand tightened around her wrist before he saw who she was and let her go. He'd taken to Eva stronger than he had to Jamie, not liking to be parted from her for longer than necessary. Maybe it was the fact he had to look after her when Tora had been spending all her time in an alternate reality.

She carried Eva to the cot and carefully placed her down. Sad goldish-blue eyes looked up at her.

"Do you miss him?"

A gurgle. Charles had been scanning her. She had traces of an empathic link in her mind, shattered. Somehow, the twins had been linked and Curt's…death…had broken the link. Therefore, Eva was having to deal with an important part of her life disappearing. She pressed a kiss to her daughter's forehead then turned the light out.

Logan was stirring in the chair. Bleary blue eyes looked up.

"Whurh?"

"I think you need to sleep."

"You've been getting less sleep than me."

"**I've** been living off coffee."

"Do you have a cup for me?"

"Bed. Then coffee in the morning."

He nodded sleepily. She helped him up and dragged him the short distance to the bed.

"Sleep."

He made an odd noise. Halfway between a yawn and a snarl, it sounded as if her didn't like her bossing him around. Their relationship, on the most basic level, was that of two animals. Unfortunately, he appeared based of wolf pack dynamics while she gravitated towards tiger. Even if she were lion, it would have been easier. But no, she had to have the basic instincts of a tiger. Loners, hunters and territorial, females would still allow males, especially the father of their cubs, into their territory or even share their kills. But in courtship, the female dominated, very different from the patriarchal wolves. This meant that two alpha beings were together and subtle dominance struggles were common. Their more human sides held their animals at bay, preventing times when either refused to submit from becoming violent. She often saw it in his eyes, the beast snarling to have this pitiful weak female, his mate, put in her correct place. He'd never acted on those feelings, although she may have snarled at him a few times. They were matched in a way very few could be. Her husband. Her mate. The human and the animal both claimed him. Mine.

* * *

><p>Phoenix sighed.<p>

"I mean, the possessiveness that those to had. I'd say it was unhealthy."

"Says the woman who told her husband to go out with an ex-villain as she lay dying."

"You still enjoy teasing me about that!"

"Well, it **was** funny."

* * *

><p>Pressing her hands to the metal, Tora dug deep into the well of power inside her. The metal cracked under the glowing silver hands but didn't buckle. Snarling, she pressed even more power into it until rust started to blossom across the smooth silvery-grey iron. She allowed her anger and pain, especially over Curt's death, to burst out of her and gave it form in the snarling dragon around her. And then the metal crumbled to dust as it suddenly aged eight centuries in the space of three seconds. Tora leant back, satisfied. Hank came out and smiled.<p>

"Tora, that was amazing. I've only ever seen that level of cosmic power when the Silver Surfer went mad on a Defenders mission. And Dark Phoenix levels, but lets not talk about that."

She smiled weakly.

"I **never** want to do that again. It's like I've just run a marathon then gone into a half-hour sparring session. I'm supposed to **heal** Hank, not destroy."

"But…"

"Look, Jean could have burned that to nothing no bother. But I had to find a technical solution and apply just the right amount of pressure. In the past, we've both changed reality. Or Phoenix and Dragon have. Phoenix tends to change the big thing and worry about the cracks in reality later. Or dump them onto Dragon to fix. And I…Dragon, change the little things, find the pressure points and change the little details so the big picture changes. I can't do something like make sure that piece of iron was never forged. What I **can** do is make sure it was forged eight hundred years previously and badly kept so it rusted to nothing. And it **hurt**. Hank, I can't explain. But I'm not meant to destroy. I can do **this** no bother."

The dust reformed and iron, glossy and smooth was back in shape, a phoenix proud and strong. Hank smiled slightly.

"I never expected anything other from you."

She smiled wryly.

"She's not dead you know."

"You brought her body back Tora. And stopped the Shi'ar from killing us all. I think if anyone should know she's dead, it would be you."

"No. When I was 'dead' I was totally conscious and aware of everything I was doing. I just didn't have a body. Jean is…healing. And I'm…sort of helping."

"How?"

"Er…relaying weekly reports? Using more power so Phoenix gets stronger. Hank, you would **love **to see the Stores. All the life-force that is new and unused gets used, channelled back **into** a separate part of the Stores where Dragon uses it and then it channels back **into** the new, unused life. It's perpetual!"

"Perpetual?"

"I mean, 100% efficiency. Any waste is instantly cycled back into the Stores."

Hank's eyes lit up.

"100% efficiency? Tora, that's amazing."

She glanced down at her watch and gulped.

"Hank, I have to go. I have to return a favour."

"What sort of favour Tora?"

"An old friend gave me some very good advice on the night before I married Logan. At the moment, she's… yes, I really need to go and give her some emotional support. Marriage at her age **is** a little daunting I suppose…"

"Tora…?"

"Look, alternate reality."

"Tora, is **Etana** getting married?"

"Yes."

And leaving Hank open-mouthed, Tora hurried off to go and talk to her friend who at the moment was eating far too much sugar and panicking.

* * *

><p>Phoenix laughed.<p>

"Etana really went to pieces?"

"Oh yes. It was rather funny."


	85. Dance of Worlds

**Memories**

Dance of Worlds

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

_Etana was sitting on a rock at the top of the mountain, staring glumly into the little black and white checked paper bag. Tora frowned._

"_Is that…**sweets**?"_

_Etana nodded and pulled out a pale semi-translucent brown cuboid and popped it in her mouth._

"_They make it in this one little shop in a tiny town in the Scottish Lowlands. I'm running out. I'll need to go and get some more soon."_

"_What **is** it?"_

"_Toffee. Want some."_

_Tora found herself staring into the face of a ram in a bright red circle, the name of the shop printed on the side. She shook her head as the aroma of pure sugar danced into her nose._

"_It used to be this lovely old-fashioned place with big glass jars of sweets and a **wonderful** pick and mix selection. Then they got rid of the old buckets and shovels and brought in these little pink bags instead. They still do the toffee though, for which I am eternally grateful."_

_Tora resisted the urge to burst out laughing. Etana shrugged._

"_Odd how you get attached to the little things isn't it? I'm still not sure how I'll hold up tomorrow. There are **so** many people I want to be there. Father, Mother, Uncle, David, Michael, Leonardo, Joan, Albert, Mica… All dead. And Leo owes me a small fortune. He bet I'd never get married. I was tempted to take up Niccolò's offer, just to annoy Leo."_

"_Niccolò?"_

"_Machiavelli. A genius, a complete and utter genius. And rather embarrassingly, asked me to marry him, although I do think he just wanted to find out what I was."_

"_How many proposals have you had Etana? Just out of interest."_

"_Er… The warlord, one. Apocalypse, two, Michael, three, er…Alexander, four, the creepy alien, five, Nero, six, Niccolò, seven, Casanova, didn't count, That man whose name I've forgotten but I know he was famous for **something**, eight. Oh, Henry VII, nine. Steve, ten."_

"_Etana…"_

"_I never really seriously considered any of them except Michael. We were the last two with Cheyarafim blood. He succeeded Father as the Prince. And then I realised he just wanted me to increase the power of the Cheyarafim. Steve is the only one I ever loved properly."_

"_Then why so nervous?"_

"_Because I'm not naturally a wife or any of that stuff. I'm a fighter, have been since the day I was born."_

"_So have I Etana."_

"_But… Tora, Logan __**likes**_ _you as a fighter. I know Steve tries to hide it but I see the fear in his eyes. He doesn't like me fighting. And he's the sort of guy who wants a family. I wouldn't want any child saddled with me as a mother. My genes are pretty messed up as it is."_

_Tora couldn't help herself. Her hand connected with Etana's cheek._

"_Stop it!"_

_Etana's hand was touching her face where Tora had slapped her. She blinked almost as if she couldn't quite believe what had happened._

"_Tora?"_

"_Pull yourself together. Steve loves you. He was **this** far from a breakdown when we told him you were in a coma."_

_Etana made an odd face._

"_And no running away. You'd break his heart."_

"_I… Tora, I can't do this."_

_Tora slapped Etana again._

"_Don't. Say. That. You **are** Justice's Shadow. You faced down **Apocalypse**, you thumbed your nose at Roosevelt. I frankly feel one little ceremony shouldn't scare you so much."_

"_But…"_

"_STOP IT THIS INSTANT ETANA!"_

_The look of comically shock was worthy of a photograph. Then Etana burst out laughing._

"_I knew I could count on you Tora."_

xXx

_Steve froze as they rounded the corner. At first, Tora couldn't work out what the two black triangles and single line, both splattered with red, were. And then she saw Etana, hanging from the ceiling, blood pouring down her back. Her hair had been shaved off. As Tora got nearer, she could see the gouges in her back where someone had hacked through sinew and bone to tear out her wings and tail. Barely preventing herself from retching, Tora cut through the chains and Etana fell down, crumpling under her own weight. Steve caught her and knelt, allowing her to lie back, ignoring the blood staining his chest. Her half-closed silver eyes, pain drunk, tried to focus on him._

"_I swear this wasn't an attempt to get out of our marriage Discus-Boy."_

_Steve looked as if he wanted to cry._

"_Shhh. You need to rest. We'll get you fixed up. Don't worry."_

"_Too late… Dying… Healing comes from wings see? 'Fore I go, Steve… Sorry…'bout everything. Should have said earlier."_

"_Conserve your strength. 'Tana, pull through. You have to. I need you."_

"_Sorry…so sorry. Love you..."_

_And her head flopped back, blood trickling out of her mouth and nose. The blood pooled around Steve's knees as he lay there holding her close, ignoring the fact she was dead. Whispering to her._

"_Come on 'Tana. Beast's coming. Stay with me 'Tana. Stay with me. Please…"_

_And Tora, pushing her own grief aside, knelt down and pulled Steve in for a hug, Etana encased between them as Steve muttered and mumbled to a dead woman, hoping she would answer. Tora snarled slightly._

"_I will kill Cameron Hodge if it's the last thing I do."_

xXx

_She listened with bemusement as Reed, Tony and Hank argued about the coding._

"_I can't break it! Tony, you can't. AIM has finally created an unbeatable code!"_

"_Can I see it?"_

_Reed shrugged. Hank insisted she came to this meeting. She normally just sat there quietly._

"_If it would give you any satisfaction. Here."_

_Her eyes scanned the first line of numbers. A single golden-furred hand traced the numbers, lips moving as she ran through all the codes in her head._

77,79,68,79,75,32,116,111,32,97,108,108,32,65,73,77,32,97,103,101,110,116,115,46

_She burst out laughing. The men all frowned._

"_Tora?"_

"_MODOK to all AIM agents. That's the first twenty-four numbers."_

_She grinned at their open mouths._

"_You're thinking too hard. It's ASCII. You know, American Standard Code for Information Interchange? MODOK knew you'd intercept this. It was a test to see if you were able to think at such a low level. I mean, you can pretty much all invent a new language in under an hour so he chose the simplest code thinking correctly that you'd be looking for something complicated."_

_Silence. And then Hank hugged her and burst out laughing at the same time. And Tony was barking orders to his computer and Reed was blinking as he tried to realise that he'd just been outthought by a self-confessed not-genius. As she so eloquently put it, 'it's not my fault I have the brainpower of an infinite number of people at my fingertips. It's just genetics.' Hank was laughing again, pulling her tighter into the hug and she hugged him back because his joy was infectious._

xXx

_She slammed into Wolverine and danced away before he got a chance to swipe at her. She couldn't resist teasing him, taunting him, just to see him snarl._

"_Hello Wild-Boy. Miss me? How's Mariko?"_

_He snarled and she grinned._

"_Oh. Touchy subject? I admit, I was going to hurt her a lot more but you arrived too early."_

_He snarled again and slammed into her. Instantly, Magneto was there to help her._

"_Tigress, stop this taunting! We have a job to do."_

_Sulking, she withdrew, blowing a kiss to Wolverine._

"_Next time sweetheart!"_

xXx

_She turned in the dark, trying desperately to find a way out. She screamed, afraid, unable to see, unable to hear._

"JE NE SUIS PAS UN MUTANT_!"_

_The reply came back in English._

"_Oh you are little lady. And we're going to cleanse your kind from this world."_

"_Really?"_

_The low voice was dangerous, deadly. Marie shouted again, fumbling with a language she dropped early on in her school career._

"_WHO…THERE?"_

_Suddenly hands were pulling her out of the pit, carefully checking her for injuries and quiet voices surrounded her._

"_Cajun speaks French."_

"Mais… _Remy don't know if she'll understand da Bayou…"_

"Nouvelle-Orléans? Oui, je compris_."_

"Je m'appelle Remy. Je suis un ami. Nous sommes tout amis._"_

"Qui êtes-vous?_"_

"Nous sommes le X-Men petite._"_

"Aidez-moi. S'il vous plait…_"_

_And they carried her out into the light, which hurt her eyes. And the smells were too intense and the noises too loud and she'd covered her ears and closed her eyes and tried to bury her head in the chest of the man who was carrying her but that was even worse as he smelt of cloves and cinnamon and cigarettes and it was so intense. She couldn't cope, everything was so much brighter, louder, stronger. And a small man had come over to her and offered her a plug for her ears._

"_Hurts?"_

_She understood enough English to get that._

"_Yes… Everything…bright, strong, smell."_

_He nodded._

"_I understand."_

_How could he? How could he understand the intensity of her senses now? How could he feel every fold in the coat of the man carrying her through all the clothes she was wearing?_

* * *

><p>Phoenix shifted from her kneeling position slightly.<p>

"I don't understand how you can **stay** like that. With the straight back and your legs tucked under you like that."

The woman turned and frowned.

"What? Oh. This? I find it requires little concentration and is a good way to sit when you want to be able to reach the Eye."

Death rolled her eyes.

"Even **I** get uncomfortable sitting like that."


	86. Wild One

**Memories**

Wild One

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She wanted to be out there, wanted to be helping, but Scott had ordered her to stay with the students and her children. She snarled as Magneto tore through her home, tried to lunge when he destroyed the Phoenix memorial statue. And then everyone, all the students and the X-Men and her screamed as they felt their powers being blocked. And Magneto laughed. And Dragon screamed.

_MURDERER! CHILD-KILLER! DESTROYER OF WORLDS! BETRAYER OF THE ANGEL!_

Tora echoed that call as she leapt up and charged at him, ignoring Scott's shouts, ignoring everything but the man who had betrayed her old friend, the angel, the man who had ruined Etana's wedding by turning up to denounce her. She slammed into him, ignoring the bite of the adamantium in her veins, desperate instead to hurt this man who had hurt her kind with his hatred.

"STUPID GIRL!"

She was thrown across the courtyard and landed heavily, felt the blood run down her arm but she leapt forward again and shattered his helmet with her claws, ignoring the blood trickling from her knuckles, ignoring Logan begging her to stop. This man had caused Etana to run, caused the day that should have been perfect into a nightmare. He **deserved** what she was going to do to him. The swirling purple cape was torn to shreds, the armour torn as Magneto tried to grasp hold of the adamantium in her bones, like he'd done that Christmas day he made her kill her husband. And she snarled and kicked out, foot crashing into his nose. His head rocked back and he fell, unconscious after the equivalent of a heavy metal bar whacked him right between the eyes. The others gasped as their mutations returned to them and she crouched low, snarling, preparing to kill this man. And Logan pulled her back.

"Tora, what are you doing?"

"He destroyed New York."

"What?"

"He tore our world to pieces, destroyed the relationship between humans and mutants. He is responsible for the Sentinels taking over!"

Logan rested his hand on her arm.

"Tora, the Sentinels haven't taken over. You're slipping again."

She shook her head to dispel the other realities.

"What?"

"You're flipping through alternate realities again."

She blinked and then shuddered as she fell backwards.

"I…I was going to kill him…"

"It's okay. You saved us all. All our powers were down Tora. And you beat Magneto without any mutation, dragging a skeleton of metal which was poisoning you. Tora, that was amazing."

She had her head in her hands.

"I would have killed him for a crime he did not commit. What am I?"

"Tora, you just defeated Magneto **without** your powers. Is it just me, or shouldn't that be something you should be proud of?"

"For the wrong reasons…"

Scott moved towards them but Logan waved him away, mouthing 'Stay back'. Tora was whispering into her hands, muttering words in French that he didn't understand.

"Tora?"

"…_Pardonne-nous nos offences, comme nous pardonnons aussi à ceux qui nous ont offensés_…"

"Tora?"

"…_Et ne nous soumets pas à la tentation, mais délivre-nous du mal_…"

"Tora?"

"…_car c'est à toi qu'appartiennent le règne, la puissance et la gloire, aux siècles des siècles_."

She blinked and whispered a final word so quietly he couldn't hear it. Then she leant over and rested her head on his chest.

"If I'd done it, would you have kept your promise?"

He felt his heart skip a beat. He'd hoped, **prayed**, that she had forgotten that promise when she was covered in blood and holding an injured child in her arms. He'd hoped she would have forgotten, hoped she would have forgotten the promise that he could never quite get rid of. The words rang around his head as if it had only happened a few minutes ago.

_He glanced over at Tora, holding Jamie close, tears streaming down her face. Her eyes met his._

"_If I ever, **ever **do that again Logan, no matter the circumstances, swear to me, **swear to me**, that you will kill me before I become **her**."_

"_Tora…"_

"_Swear to me Logan."_

_He could see she meant this._

"_I will swear if you agree to one thing."_

"_What?"_

"_That you will back me up when I say that I killed her."_

"_Logan…"_

"_Tora, I will only swear what you want me to, if you agree to this."_

_He saw the conflict in her eyes. The love of the truth and the fear of what she could become. He felt terrible doing this, but it was for her own good._

"_I swear."_

_He nodded._

"_Then I promise that if you ever murder anyone, no matter on what reason, I will…kill you."_

He knew, deep down, that if that day ever came, he wouldn't be able to. She would stand there with her head bowed, like she had stood that day on the Moon, with her eyes downcast and a prayer on her lips. And he'd be expected to stab her, kill her. And he knew, he **knew** he would just stand there and refuse to do it. He felt her heartbeat as she clung to him. Knowing that for her, with her past linked so closely to him, that he had been the one constant. There as a child, as a idol, something to aspire to be. As a teenager, someone to hate as a reason for her predicament. As an adult, a friend, teacher, rival and lover. She had called him her glacier. The thing that shaped her, the thing that turned her into Tora. That was the reason she clung to him when she was unsure, afraid, needing reassurance. So rarely did she need it, when she did, she fell into the darkness so deeply, she needed every ounce of help he could give her. He knew what she had been 'designed' for. She had been trained to act as an ambassador or an important dignitary. And then she would have stolen the files or life required. She had finally told him about some of the things she had been taught to do. Get the target alone, no matter what cost to you. Even if you have to sleep with him, get him off guard and then… She hadn't been able to continue and Logan had felt relieved then horrified with himself for being thankful that all they wanted him to do was kill. What they had trained Tora to do had been worse. She was… the woman who could have been anyone, the ambassador, the soldier, the spy, the woman on the corner, selling herself. All lies. Even, at times, he thought that Tora herself was a lie. A lie so good she believed it herself. But he pushed that thought aside. He had to. For if Tora was a lie, then what was the life she was living? He saw her true self so infrequently, when he did, it was so…terrifying that he didn't **want** to see it. He had **known** Tora was real, the truth for years. And then Dragon had come and Tora had turned into something…different. Something that saw history as a tapestry, something that was incoherent when examined too closely yet with a picture when you stepped back and only it could see the picture and what was to come. And sometimes…sometimes he thought she would allow the world to end if it fitted in with the greater picture. Had Tora, the **real** Tora died in that cell below the mansion, when she had given her mind and soul to a being that answered only to itself? Or had it been when she had been killed by a woman now locked up in a SHIELD prison? Or when she had given her individuality to Dragon? Maybe it had been when she had tumbled into her own darkness? Or maybe, just maybe, Tora had never lived. But when she looked at him with her eyes full of fear and a need to be recognized, he pushed the thoughts aside. What was he thinking? And why? She was his. And she needed him.

Growling, the telepath slipped out of his mind, angry that the love had burned away the doubts he had tried to plant into Weapon X's mind. And then he felt something bright, something shining and silver, with traces of a darkness inside it. A questioning thought touched his mind.

_What are you? Why are you in the wild one's mind?_

The sheer **power** behind the thoughts sent the telepath reeling.

_What **are** you?_

_I am Dragon. Who are you little human? All the little humans crumble to dust in a few short decades. These ones are eternal. Why are you in his mind? WHY ARE YOU IN HIS MIND?_

The telepath recoiled as the words burned through his mind. This **thing** was dangerous. It could destroy the plan.

_TELL ME! I AM DRAGON! I AM LIFE RENEWED AND KNOWLEDGE INCARNATE! I DEMAND YOU TELL ME!_

And the telepath screamed as the being dove into his memories and stole his knowledge.

_YOU SEEK TO HURT THE DRAGON-BORN! YOU HURT MY HATCHLING! YOU HURT HIM! I HURT YOU! DIE LITTLE HUMAN! YOUR TIME ON THIS PLAIN WAS TOO LONG! FOR YOU HAVE HURT THE AVATAR AND HER HATCHLING! DIE!_

And he tried to warn his masters, tried to tell them they were fighting something a thousand times more dangerous than they had at first thought they were fighting but the icy claws closed around his mind and snuffed him out. The last thing he heard was the powerful being soothing another, more human mind.

_It was nothing little one. Merely a slight disturbance. Do not fear little one. Soon everything will be good._

* * *

><p>Phoenix shuddered.<p>

"I **hate** it when cosmic entities keep stuff like that secret."

"I know."

Death shrugged.

"Sometimes it is better to allow them to see time as linear."


	87. Empty

**Memories**

Empty

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She stood gazing at herself in the mirror. Then down at the bottle on the sink. Back up at the mirror. Her eyes looked so empty, even to herself. How well she hid it, even from herself. Dead eyes, cold eyes, gold eyes. Eyes devoid of emotion. It had been a difficult choice to make. Stay depressed or cut herself off from her emotions. In the end, she'd thrown up walls between the thinking part of her mind and the feeling part. She had no idea that the consequences were so…serious. She was unable too keep herself anchored, unable to hold herself to this reality. Readying herself, she let the barriers break away and flooded herself with emotion. She gasped as wave after wave of pain, loss and anger ran through her. Her hands clenched on the porcelain rim and it cracked as she snarled. Why? Why had he died? WHY? And the bottle of anti-depressants were knocked to the floor as she let the pain run its course. She'd been hiding, instead of letting nature and the mourning process take its course. Then she dropped to the floor and curled up into a ball and cried. Her fingers dug into her face, leaving bloodied marks. She felt Dragon withdraw. It couldn't handle the stronger emotions like love, sadness and hatred. Then she felt something odd. Something tiny and tugging, a part of Dragon and her, an amalgam, a fusion of their being, tainted with something that was neither of them. Then as suddenly as she felt it, Dragon pulled a shroud around it.

_It is not ready yet. You will understand soon._

She allowed it that. Instead of pressing on it, she felt for the thread that linked her with Jean and sent a series of emotions down it. A few images would make their way through as well. She felt happiness from Jean about the things she told her about the school, concern over the rising anti-mutant sentiment and sorrow over Curt's death. There was a thumping at the door.

"Tora, if you don't come out, I'm going to knock the door down!"

She stood up, wiped the drying blood from her face where the cuts had healed, rubbed the tears away and picked up the anti-depressants before measuring out two and flushing them down the toilet. Who honestly thought she needed them? She opened the door just as Logan charged into it and he fell on top of her.

"What the…!"

She burst out laughing at the look on his face as he rolled off her.

"Sorry."

"It's fine."

He helped her up and frowned.

"I can smell blood."

"I cut myself."

The words came out easily. Logan nodded. She'd worked out how to tell the truth whilst not telling the whole truth. It worked quite well. He pressed his head to her forehead.

"Are you okay?"

She blinked and lowered her head.

"What do you think?"

"Tell me what's wrong."

Her eyes flashed silver for a second before she started to walk away.

"Tora, tell me."

She turned around, a slight flare of silver light flickering around her face.

"Fine! This is what's wrong. Our son died and all I can think is **why**. Why Logan? I've danced with death, we both have, yet when it came to it, they took our son. Why did I have to lose him Logan? We've both done terrible things and he was innocent."

"We can't tell Tora. No one knows."

"Well, I'm supposed to!"

She brought her hand up to the silver chain with the blue stone.

"Do you know what this represents?"

"No."

"It shows I'm someone who knows stuff. Or is supposed to at any rate."

"What are you saying?"

"Logan, Dragon answers to only three authorities. Itself, The Living Tribunal and The One-Above-All. I'm **supposed** to know stuff."

"What…?"

"Logan, Dragon is more powerful than Galactus. Maybe not in outright power, but I can add bits onto the universe if required. I could stop a sun exploding if I so desired. I could piece together a shattered planet from the remnants. I have healed a world Galactus devoured. And I couldn't save my son."

"Tora…"

She turned and walked away. Just before she left the room she rested her hand on the doorframe and turned her head towards him.

"Why couldn't I save him?"

Then she slipped away whilst he stood with his mouth open, unable to answer.

* * *

><p>Phoenix tilted her head backwards.<p>

"I know the feeling, having the power inside you but being unable to harness it."

Her masked companion nodded.

"It is a curse and a blessing in one. No mortal mind should hold the power, but when they do they can work for good or evil."

* * *

><p>Her knuckles bled as she punched the metal again and again. She ignored the sounds of the students backing off, ignored the whispers. And then Storm was standing beside her worried.<p>

"Tora, Logan's looking for you."

"And?"

"He's going to Japan. A Yashida has been kidnapped. He wants you to come with him."

"No."

"Tora, please just come and speak to him."

"I don't want to see anyone."

"Tora, he's leaving in half an hour. If you won't go with him, Kitty's waiting to go."

Gold eyes met sky-blue.

"I'm empty 'Ro. I can't feel anymore. Everything is empty. I'm afraid that if I see Logan, I'll feel empty about him as well."

Storm pulled her friend into a hug.

"I know it hurts you. Just go and say goodbye."

Tora nodded then allowed Ororo to lead her to the War Room. Logan was arguing with Scott as Kitty fiddled with something on the table, Lockheed on her shoulder. They all looked up when Tora entered the room. To her relief, the emptiness faded, to be filled with warmth and love. Logan raised an eyebrow.

"You coming?"

"No. Someone has to look after Jamie and Eva. Anyway, I trust Kitty to look after you. Kitty, make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."

The young woman shrugged.

"He never listens to a word I say."

"Logan, Kitty is my voice understand? Her word is law."

He laughed.

"It's just a straightforward kidnapping but they want a huge amount of money. I'm going to get the kid out for them."

"Don't do anything stupid and try not to die."

He laughed.

"It's pretty tricky to kill me."

"I could do it and you might not remember but there are vast stocks of healing-halter, most of which were sold to the highest bidder. I don't know if it was synthesized or not but be careful."

"I'm **always** careful."

She smiled and let him hug her. His head was pressed to the top of hers and she heard the whisper.

"You stay safe as well."

"I will. Hurry home."

"With you and the kids waiting for me? Of course I will."

The others quietly left to allow them time to say a proper goodbye.

"Tora, try not to brood."

"I won't. Just…try and be back soon. For me."

"Tora, if I had my way, I would never leave you."

"Oh, you're just saying that."

"You know I'm not."

His arms tightened around her as he breathed in her scent.

"Wish me luck?"

"You don't need it. Anyway, you make your own luck. Now toddle of to save the day."

"That's **it**? No fanfare, no telling me how much you love me?"

"You know full well you hate it when we all crowd round to say goodbye and you know how much I love you and I don't think you need reminding. Your head would get stuck in the door."

He laughed at that and let go so he could look her in the eyes.

"Well then, no goodbye for you."

"Just go you idiot."

The words were fond, teasing.

"Goodbye Tora."

And he walked out, barely hearing the quiet words whispered after him.

"Goodbye _Carcajou_. I love you."

* * *

><p>Phoenix frowned.<p>

"Was that when everything went mad?"

"Oh yes."

Death groaned.

"I had so much trouble. People coming in then leaving, making a mess of the visitor book."


	88. Gone

**Memories**

Gone

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Emma, Scott and Kitty sat slumped in the War Room.

"How bad is it Em?"

"Scott, she's gone to stage three, wearing Logan's clothes. She's still looking after the children but any other activities she's shunning."

"Why did Logan have to go MIA right now? Tora's off duty so we've lost one of our ferals and an energy-based being as well as a senior member of the team **and** our espionage expert in one fell swoop. We **need **Tora because she's got the know-how to keep us safe and even when she's on mission control and keeping us all linked, we're not at our best because a vital part of the team dynamic has gone. And we need Logan for…well, for Logan work. Damn. We're two men down and they're possibly our best fighters."

"Scott, Logan contacted me saying he saw the kidnapper and then…nothing. It's been three weeks. Tora's having difficulties, as much as she tries to hide it. Eloise saw her slumped at her desk asleep."

Scott sighed and then allowed himself to slump in the chair. Things were getting to crisis level. Then Kurt bamfed onto the table.

"Scott, SHIELD's found Logan."

Scott pulled himself upright.

"Right, get Tora here **now**."

"What stage is she at?"

"She passed stage one, the sitting-moping-when-she-thought-we-weren't-looking two weeks into his disappearance. Stage two-"

"The talking-to-Logan-even-though-he-wasn't-there stage?"

"Yes, and we hoped it would stop there. According to Emma, she's in mild stage three, wearing his shirt."

"I heard her talking to his hat."

Scott swore.

"Hat stage? Damn, that's major stage three. Have we ever had a stage four?"

"No. I really don't want to see what happened."

Kurt gulped.

"I'll go now."

He bamfed away and Scott leant back.

"When did we decide to use Tora as a barometer for Logan's absences?"

Kitty laughed.

"Well, I think Jubes was responsible. You know, she'd come back from Gen X, take one look at Tora and guess how long Logan had been gone for."

"Well it's our saving grace. We **know** he's been gone too long."

Suddenly Tora entered and Scott knew instantly that something was wrong. Her face was white.

"Logan's in danger. He's…hurts…I know it sounds stupid, but I just **know** when he's in danger."

"Tora, SHIELD just picked him up. He's injured but they're sure he's on the mend."

She shook her head.

"I want to speak to Fury, **now**."

Scott frowned but shrugged and linked them through to the SHIELD Helicarrier bridge. Tora moved in front of the screen.

"Nick?"

"Dragon! Dragon! Get me to Cyclops **now**! Cyclops, Wolverine's gone wild! He's killing everyone in his way! Babbling about the Hand and HYDRA! HOW DO YOU STOP HIM?"

Tora pulled the screen towards her.

"That's my husband Nick and you **will** tell me everything you know."

There was an authority in her voice, something that Scott swore had more than a trace of Etana in it, a little bit of one of the few people able to make Director Fury listen.

"Fine. We found him in a coma in Minneapolis. We brought him here, started to treat him and he went crazy and killed-"

The screen went black. Emma was prepared and grabbed Tora when she lunged, diamond form struggling to hold the angry woman.

"Tora, we need you here and now to help us get Logan back to normal."

Gold and silver eyes met hers and Emma almost, **almost** let go. But she'd faced down Phoenix and in her opinion, Dragon was nowhere near as powerful. A deception carefully cultivated over the millennia by Dragon. The silver gleam from the whites of Tora's eyes didn't make Emma any more afraid than the little dragon roaring in her pupils. And in later years, Emma wondered what delusion had made her feel that Tora was a less of a threat than Jean. Why had Phoenix always been considered the more dangerous of the two? And then it had clicked. Phoenix left survivors. Dragon didn't even leave desolation behind. And with Tora, a human with the natural ability to destroy a pretty large chunk of the world if she so desired, Dragon was unstoppable. But that was in the future and in a tattered world. Right now, Emma saw Dragon as a powerful being, maybe on par with Dr Strange, but nowhere **near** the Phoenix in terms of power **or** strength. Tora snarled.

"Let me go Emma, or so help me…"

"Tora, calm down."

"If that was Scott, Emma, would **you** be calm? If that was the father of your children? I've already lost one son. I'm not losing my husband as well."

Emma froze. Logan survived. It was who, **what** he was. He'd been in danger before but Tora had never reached this level of irrationality. Scott caught her arm.

"Tora, there's **nothing** you can do."

She whipped round, throwing them both off.

"I can fix anything. I am Dragon."

And she charged out, to smash straight into Xixy who caught her arms.

"Ma'am, I must ask you not to leave. We have been given a message from the Avengers. All hero bases must be made secure. No entry or exit."

"Dammit Xixy. That's my husband!"

The alien had trouble holding her steady. Out of all the X-Men, he alone knew the true potential of Tora gone mad. So he did the only thing he could and enveloped her in his goo, preventing her from moving. Scott stepped out.

"Thanks Xixy. I really hope you have gods other than Dragon. I think we're **all** going to have to pray."

"Why Cyclops?"

"Because Logan's gone over."

* * *

><p>Phoenix winced.<p>

"Logan really was a terrifying enemy."

"Tell me about it."

"Did you ever hear about the time he got resurrected as 'a supply of souls when there is no war'?"

"No. Do tell."

* * *

><p>She wanted to cry, wanted to scream as Nick told the grouped heroes to be on their guard, to not let their trust in a man they all knew make them unwary. She wanted to shout out 'IT'S STILL LOGAN! IT'S STILL THE MAN I LOVE!' but she knew the looks she would get. She was getting them anyway, pitying glances from people who knew who she was and what she had lost. And she hated it. Nick should let her go. She could reason with him, make him trust her. But Nick had shaken his head.<p>

"We've already lost one of the best fighters. They get their hands on you, we're **all** dead."

She let Nick's briefing wash over her as she leant on Kurt's shoulder. He had a protective arm draped over her shoulder. A symbol of the close but platonic friendship between them. He'd been there for her for the last twenty-four hours. He'd watched Eva, ferried Jamie to Hank and back, and sat up with her all night whilst she cried. And he'd let her cry on him, let her tell him her fears. He felt her tense as Nick finished, sheltered her from the people crowding her, saying empty words of condolence, telling her everything would be alright in the end, that SHIELD would have Logan in custody soon enough. And the X-Men alone noticed the clenching of her fists, the slight tightening around her mouth, the signs she just wanted to get out before she blew. They ringed around her, a protective wall, unconscious of the fact they did it. More than once, Scott touched his visor but in the end, Kitty grabbed Tora's hand and tugged her though the crowds and people, ignoring shouts of protest as the two women passed straight through them. They remained intangible until they entered the Blackbird then Kitty stepped back and let Tora slump onto the seat.

"You okay?"

"They couldn't understand."

The brown-haired woman crouched down and touched Tora's hand.

"We'll get him back. Don't you worry."

She looked up, eyes dull.

"But at what cost Kitty? At what cost?"

* * *

><p>Phoenix winced. The pain radiating from her companion had changed the room they were in from large and bright to dark and oppressive. She touched her friend's shoulder and drew and regret away from her.<p>

"It's okay. Everything turned out okay in the end."

The carved ice turned to look at her.

"Did it? Was it really worth it? All the blood and tears and death? Was it worth what we gained?"


	89. Itsy Lil' Secrets

**Memories**

Itsy Lil' Secrets

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"She's hiding something Cyclops. Like it or not, Dragon is withholding information. The FF were almost killed last night and one of your men is preventing a criminal from being apprehended."

"Nick, just…just give Tora space. She's not herself right now. Last night, we had Nightcrawler sleep in a chair in her room. She's on suicide watch, even if she doesn't know it. We have someone watching her at all times. If she was hiding something, we'd know about it."

"Cyclops, it's time to admit that woman has her priorities in the wrong order. For her, and most ferals, it's mate first, then children, the rest of the world be damned. She's hiding the fact she knows where Logan is. Don't lie Scott. We were monitoring calls into the Baxter Building. We recorded Tora ringing Sue Richards and telling her, and I quote, 'Get the kids out Sue. Get them out **right** now. He's in there with you'. And if that wasn't enough, we looked at your security footage and what do we see? Your Dragon saying 'No, that's not Johnny, that's Logan, that's Logan'. And the accident wasn't reported for another three minutes. Cyke, your precious team-member is either working for the enemy or helping them. SO GET HER IN HERE NOW!"

Scott sighed and pressed the comm-link.

"Tora, Nick wants to talk."

"Yes, it's about Logan."

"Look, just leave the kids with Hank."

"Please. Thank you."

He glared at Fury, his glasses glowing ominously.

"She's coming. I hope you're not going to scare her."

"That woman is pretty much Shadow reincarnated. Nothing I could say will scare her."

Scott sighed.

"Tora isn't much like Etana."

"You didn't know her sixty years ago. She changed after the war. Part of her heart went out of it. In the Thirties, she was a lively, passionate woman, if a little mysterious at times. I swear she got a kick out of teasing us about her past. And when SHIELD was formed, she wrote most of the code, telling me 'It's based on the Brotherhood of the Shield's code.' You've heard of the first SHIELD director? The Fallen Angel? He was Etana's choice. Handpicked, trained and guided by Etana."

"Scott? Nick? You called."

Tora was standing in the door fiddling with a silver ring. Fury gestured to a seat.

"Cyclops will you leave?"

Scott opened his mouth to protest but Tora gave a barely perceptible nod and he left. Nick moved to the other side of the desk and glowered at Tora.

"You're hiding something from us."

"What?"

"You know where Logan is."

"I don't."

"Fine, you don't but you know **almost** where he is."

"I…I…"

"Look, loyalty is a wonderful thing but this isn't helping us. Tell us what you know or how you know it. It may stop more deaths."

"I don't know where Logan is."

"Right. I'm taking you to the Helicarrier. And we'll either call it protective custody or arrest for aiding and abetting an enemy of the USA. Your call."

"I'd like to see you try."

"Do you know what I could get you for? Withholding evidence, that's obvious. Possibly aiding a fugitive. Maybe even espionage. So tell us what you know!"

She continued to fiddle with the silver ring and Nick caught a glimpse of a blue stone. He snatched her hand.

"Where did you get this?"

"It was a wedding present."

"From Etana."

It was a statement, not a question.

"Maybe."

"Don't play games. That's one of Etana's soul bands. The one she wore to be precise. Oh, don't lie. I know about them. She used to wear it to keep in touch with an old friend whose name she never mentioned. Logan has the other, doesn't he?"

She froze then nodded.

"Take it off. TAKE IT OFF NOW!"

"No…"

"Tora, take it off. We can wire it back to find out where he is."

"NO!"

Nick snarled.

"FINE! The blood of every person who dies is on your conscience then."

She sighed then slid the silver ring off.

"He'll know."

"I don't care if he knows or not, all we need is a tracer on him."

Tora sighed and slumped back.

"I couldn't tell about that. I love him, no matter what those evil twisted _connards_ did to him."

Nick shifted uneasily.

"I know. I know. Just…stay out of trouble."

She gave a weak smile.

"With Logan working for HYDRA and The Hand? We're all in deep, deep _bouse_."

"Dung? We really need to work on your swearing."

* * *

><p>Phoenix laughed oddly.<p>

"Dung? Oh dear. I thought spending all the time with Logan would give her a much richer layer of **vocabulary**."

"Didn't you hear about the swearing incident?"

"No. What happened?"

"Logan was attacked by Sabretooth, came home spewing bad language left, right and centre and Jamie repeated a word, resulting in Logan sleeping outside. Again."

Jean's hand flew to her mouth as she started giggling.

* * *

><p>Tora stood in silence as the attack was planned, tears sliding down her face unnoticed. They were discussing how to stop Logan. Words like 'lethal force' and 'restraints' were being bandied about with abandon. She turned and left the War Room, walking up to her room with the two cots that had been moved in as well as Kurt's campbed. She placed Jamie on her bed and cradled Eva in her arms before curling up with Jamie.<p>

"Maman? Where Dada?"

"He's coming home darling. Maman promises."

Happy, the boy snuggled up to his mother and sister, ignoring her tears. Tora pressed her head to the unruly black hair that was beginning to show signs of slight points at the back. Eva squirmed and she loosened her hold on her. The two children snuggled up closer to the warm body that comforted them and was always there. Tora ignored the sounds of the fight outside, shut off her senses. In a few minutes, she would know the outcome. Either Logan would be carried in dead or alive or he'd be standing at the door, claws out or in. Half the ways would break her heart, one would crack it and the fourth would heal it. She shuddered. And then she heard the unmistakable sound of metal shield cracking on metal skull. She curled up tighter, ignoring the tears. And three-fingered hands touched her shoulder.

"He's being taken to SHIELD."

"He's not back then?"

"No…"

"Kurt? What's wrong?"

"Northstar… was…KIA."

She didn't answer, just curled up further.

"Logan attacked Kitty, she phased and Jean-Paul was right behind her. He never stood a chance."

He saw another tear trickle down her face.

"It's ok. Everything's going to be okay."

He hoped he wasn't telling a lie.

* * *

><p>A gloved hand touched the water and a salty tear caused a ripple to spread out. Kurt's face wavered then solidified, gleaming, eyes soft and full of care.<p>

"My friend."

"My friend."

"My…er…er…little helper, especially when it came to sorting people out. What?"

* * *

><p>"You can go in now."<p>

She stepped into the room where Logan sat on the other side of the reinforced glass. 'Deprogramming' had supposed worked but Nick was taking no chances.

"Hey."

He smiled, blue eyes soft, not the ice the images had shown.

"You were right. I need to be more careful."

She placed her hand on the glass and he put his on the other side.

"I kept seeing you. Mainly just standing there **looking** at me. With The Look."

"What Look?"

"The, 'Oh Logan, how could you?' look you get far too often."

"I **don't**!"

"You do."

"Look, I'm…I'm sorry. I've had Nick, Steve and Scott yelling at me for three hours solid for not telling them about the soul-band earlier."

"It's fine. You know what the…the…evil %£*s did to 'deprogram' me?"

"No. Nick wouldn't talk about it."

"They ran me through a simulation over and over again where I had to cut through SHIELD agents and then…you were there. With the kids. And every single time… I just cut you down without a second thought. Eventually, I started leaving the kids, then you and then the pregnant officer until they decided I was back to normal. But…I keep remembering the look on your face. The fear as you…"

She hushed him with a gesture.

"Later. I have a bad guy to track down and give hell for hurting my husband."

"WHAT! I getta stab the $%£*&!"

"I'm going after him. **You** are staying here."

"Not a chance."

"Logan, you **will** stay here."

He snarled and then saw the sparkle in her eye.

"Yer teasing me."

"Oh no! I'm far too afraid to do **that**."

"Yer teasing me."

"Yes, I am."

Nick stomped in and glared.

"I have two of my best agents monitoring this conversation and they've both fallen off their seats laughing. Tora, stop teasing Logan, Logan don't rise to it."

A tiny spark danced into Tora's eyes.

"_Oui…Papa._"

Logan wasn't able to stop himself from snorting at the look of outrage on Fury's face and burst out laughing when Nick arrested Tora. He swore he could hear two SHIELD agents screaming in the observation room.

* * *

><p>The three woman burst out laughing, the concentration of the host breaking so the water returned to glassy normality. The hand touched the water and the image returned, sharper than ever before.<p> 


	90. Lone Wolf

**Memories**

Lone Wolf

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She was standing slightly away from the others, a smile playing over her features. Logan gave her a smile and watched as she walked away. With things…while, not exactly back to normal, were okay, he had only just realised he'd been away for nearly two months. He made an excuse to Hank and walked out of the room, down to the library. Tora was standing by the window, her hand pressed to the glass.

"Hey."

He wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm sorry. Kurt told me about what happened."

"It…it was like you were dead to them. I heard them talking about whether to bring Polaris in to remove the adamantium."

He pulled her closer.

"It's okay. Everything's okay."

"It's not… It's not… You didn't see it… You weren't there… They didn't care Logan, they didn't **care**. You were a threat, not a friend. Wolverine, Enemy of the State, ex-X-Man, not Logan, not my husband, not a father."

He tightened his grip on her even more and blessed the adamantium skeleton. That amount of pressure on a normal person would at least crack a rib. She buried her nose into his chest and inhaled.

"I'd almost forgotten what you smelled like."

"I dreamt about you. Every single time I had a moment of realisation of who I really was, I smelt you."

She gave an odd smile.

"Good to know I have that much of an affect on you."

She pulled herself away and turned round so she faced him.

"I missed you."

"I know."

When Kurt opened the door to the library ten minutes later to see where they'd gone, they were kissing and showing no signs of stopping. Quietly, he closed the door then walked away, smiling softly.

* * *

><p>A finger brushed the surface of the water, skimming over it like glass. Ice hung in the air and energy crackled. Half-formed thoughts swirled around the room, power driving into the minds of the beings there. The black haired woman flickered and a gleaming skull appeared before she returned to the face she found most useful. Phoenix glowed as fire flickered around her, a flamebird lighting her features up. Only the host remained unaffected, absorbing the energy into her and becoming even darker, so the clothes she wore, previously jet black, deepened until the silver workings on her became so bright in comparison, it was impossible to look at her. No words were spoken. None were needed. When you were thought incarnate, Phoenix thought wryly, pain from friends tended to reach you faster than any other emotion from another person. And maybe that was for the best.<p>

* * *

><p>The man smiled indulgently at the teenage boy in front of him. He took in the red-flecks of hair in midnight black, the dark eyes, the way the jaw was set in a determined manner.<p>

"Are you sure you're ready for this Wolf?"

"I am Sir. You've been training me for fifteen years Sir. I'm ready."

"Ready what?"

"I'm ready **Sir**."

"Good. Now, your targets are exceptionally dangerous and will kill you without a second thought. This envelope contains photos and scents. Memorise them."

The boy slit open the envelope and glanced at the photos.

"Weapons X and X-ii? I thought you said I was never to approach them."

"We think you're ready. X-ii had minor…blemishes that resulted in the termination of her program. X has never been as focused as you are. Your dedication to the program is exemplary."

The boy's manic grin reminded the man that Wolf suffered from insanity. Maybe they shouldn't have messed around so much with his memories, but how else were you supposed to give someone fifteen years of intensive training in three months? Or it could have been the physical boosters. In fact, it could have been any of the many things they had done to him. Hell, it could even be that alien tech they used to get him to the point where he was of use. The boy gave a big grin.

"You really think I'm ready? Sir."

"Of course." Not. He was too weak, too inefficient. Too mad. But there was the slightest chance he would kill one of the Weapons and that would be a bonus. Of course, the other would automatically kill him and then find out to their horror exactly **who** they had killed. In psychological weaponry, it was the ultimate.

"Sir, thank you for allowing me the chance to do this. And my parents… have you found them yet… Sir?"

"Not yet. When we do, rest assured that they will be punished for abandoning you."

"Thank you Sir."

The boy leapt out of his seat and walked out of the door. On the screens hidden behind his desk, the man watched as the teen jumped in the air, unaware of the cameras.

"YES! YES! YES! AT LAST!"

The man let a cruel smile twist his lips. The boy was a tool, a way of getting to his purpose, that was all. Of course he pretended to care, acted like an indulgent father, let his minor mistakes pass, showered him with praise. And the boy who believed his parents had abandoned him, the boy who rightly believed he had spent almost his whole life here, but gave himself the wrong age, had lapped up the affection, soaked it in, thrived on it. And soon he would be dead, a casualty in the fight against the escaped weapons. The man swivelled in his chair and pressed the button.

"WHAT?"

"Sir, Wolf has taken the mission."

Laughter echoed around the room.

"Good. Send me the photos of the fight. I need something to laugh over."

"Of course Mr Sublime sir."

* * *

><p>Death allowed the slightest of smiles to twist around her lips. Phoenix looked as if she wanted to punch someone. And their companion had tight lips, a look of anger and outrage on her face.<p> 


	91. A Name We All Know

**Memories**

A Name We All Know

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Tora had to laugh as Logan swung Jamie up onto his shoulders. The boy chortled and clutched at his hair.

"Dada!"

People walking past laughed at the look of pure glee on the child's face. They were a part of the crowd, just a normal family. The image inducer saw to that. She'd aged herself a bit, got rid of the scars and removed the black streak in her hair. Her eyes were hazel, not the sharp gold they usually were. Eva looked small and warm in the pram. People cooed over her, told Jamie he was a smart little boy, to which he replied with great solemnity.

"Dat's what Auntie 'Tana says."

"And who's your Auntie 'Tana?"

"She's Dada's maman but not and she lives with us but not and she's married to Uncle Steve but not. She's dead but not too."

And the enquirer would hurry away looking flustered. And Logan would laugh and tug at Jamie's leg, teasing him and he would laugh as well, small fingers caught in his father's hair. The park was busy but there was still space for them to move about. Logan swung Jamie onto her shoulders and commandeered the pram, getting a slightly soppy look on his face as Eva stirred. Tora rolled her eyes.

"Oh, if Scott could see you now."

"What?"

"You look so…sweet."

"I. Am. Never. **Sweet**."

"Whatever you say."

They stopped with everyone else when Spider-Man swung overhead, returned his salute and laughed when he stopped and dropped down in front of them.

"Hello true believers!"

"UNCLE P-"

"Spidey Jamie, Uncle **Spidey**."

"Hello Uncle Spidey!"

"Hi Trubble!"

"Hey Spidey. Look, are you interested in dinner tonight?"

"Whose cooking?"

"Not Gumbo."

Tora punched Logan on the arm.

"I **like** Remy's cooking."

"You and him alone."

Spidey laughed and shrugged, a funny sight when he was upside-down.

"I suppose. Is it costume?"

"If you want it to be. I'd turn up in costume though, so we know it's you."

The mask twitched and Tora guessed the man underneath was smiling.

"I reckon I can come. Depends on if Doc Ock decides to rob a bank or not."

He scrambled up the webbing and swung off, yelling as he dodged the trees. Tora and Logan ignored the odd glances they were getting, as if it was perfectly normal to invite a super-hero round for dinner. And indeed it was. For them at least.

Then suddenly, someone barrelled into Logan and almost overturned the pram. Tora caught it and managed to get Jamie in as well, before crouching low over it, offering protection. Logan was grappling with the stranger, a boy of no more than sixteen by his figure. Logan's claws were tearing at the black suit he was wearing, causing blood to fall but the cuts sealed. Healing factor. Damn. Logan suddenly dropped back with blood running down his face where the boy had slashed it and Tora gasped. Two bone claws jutted out of his knuckles. As she watched, a third slid out of his wrist, encircling his hand in bone. She glanced down at Eva and Jamie, both crying and back up at Logan, whose face was now healing. She was torn. She couldn't leave the children and she wouldn't let Logan fight on his own. The boy was advancing, preparing to stab Logan. People ran, screaming but she ignored them.

"GET AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND!"

The dragon flared around her as she threw an arm out, sending water to smash into the boy. Her mouth dropped open. Instead of him flying backwards, the water ran around the boy and he started to absorb it. Then she caught a hint of his personality. Something she had felt before, something Dragon had hidden from her. An amalgam of them, with a hint of something, **someone** else she now recognized as Logan.

_See little one. All is going to be well._

_WHAT! DRAGON, WHAT IS THAT!_

And then she caught the scent and froze. The boy was absorbed in gathering the energy and when Logan lunged, he was unprepared. Tora threw herself between them and gasped slightly as the claws pierced her abdomen, breaking the image inducer. Her eyes met Logan's.

"Don't hurt him."

"What?"

The claws were withdrawn and she felt her flesh knit back together. The boy ran and she tried to reach out for him.

"No…"

"Tora, what the hell is going on!"

"His scent Logan. Didn't you recognise his scent?"

"No. Tora, what are you talking about?"

She staggered as a particularly ragged cut healed.

"He smelt of us Logan. Of **us**."

"I don't get it."

Tora pointed to the pram.

"He smelt like Eva."

"And what does that mean?"

She let a tear run down her face.

"We never saw a body Logan. Never saw a body."

And his eyes registered understanding and then sorrow.

"Don't kid yourself. It'll just hurt more. They could easily have made him years ago. And in case you hadn't noticed, he's far too old."

"Could a genetically engineered being have a Dragon-Shard in them?"

Logan's mouth dropped open.

"What…"

She turned and limped over to the pram and started moving, ignoring the looks from people, ignoring the photos being taken, ignoring the gasps over the four scars on her face. Dragon wore a mask but the hair was enough of a giveaway, as if the dragon around her hadn't been enough of a clue. Logan hurried after her.

"Look, I'm… I'm sorry."

She flashed him a look.

"It's okay. Look, let's get back and ask Hank and Charles to help find him."

"You do know, it might not work out."

She blinked away a tear.

"I just want to try and find him."

"Tora, you have to-"

She whipped around.

"Don't you **dare** say it! Don't. You. Dare."

And she marched ahead until Kurt burst into existence in front of her.

"TORA!"

"Get us home Kurt."

"_Vas_?"

"It's important. Please."

He frowned then noticed the looks they were getting. Hatred and fear. He grabbed her arm, the pram and Logan before disappearing them to the car.

"Logan, you drive."

"What?"

"In case you hadn't noticed Logan, Kurt's wiped out."

"FINE! Tora, this isn't going to work."

"It will Logan. It must. Else…"

* * *

><p>The white-haired woman was making an odd crooning noise, her hands clenched over her chest.<p>

"_Sar bit rah stal migh sta dif ssa._"

"Do you really think that old K'Meeri blessing will work?"

The head tilted backwards.

"It invokes a power greater than the Tribunal. Of course it will work. Time is irrelative to The First."

* * *

><p>She sat quite still as Charles scanned her memories and waited for Hank to bring back the results from the blood test. Logan had been splattered with the boy's blood and it hadn't been too hard to clean some off him. Charles carefully navigated around the crystal maze, attempting to find entry into her mind, something made even more difficult by the shifting walls. Finally, fed up of trying to get through the walls, he snapped at her.<p>

"Stop blocking entry!"

She blinked and the maze fell away, engulfing Charles with a memory, vivid and bright.

_The boy turned his masked face away from her. He caught the scent, of cold metal and empty spaces, of adolescence but also of infanthood, of a cat, but also of a wolf. A hint of musk, nowhere near as strong as Logan's. And something inhuman, something old, something that smelt like the sea but wasn't, something that smelt like a river, but wasn't, something that smelt like a fresh mountain stream but wasn't. And then the boy absorbing the power that was greater than anything any __**mortal**__ should be able to gather and everything slid into a jumble as Tora tried to make sense of what she had seen and Dragon tried to explain but it all ended up as a mess, a tangled ball of string, knotted together and unable to be sorted. Charles was prepared to go further but found himself _beingexpelled.

"Why?"

"I will never allow anyone in my mind."

"Why not?"

"My mind is the one part of me **no-one** has tampered with. Understand? No one goes there."

Hank burst in before Charles could answer, looking flustered.

"It matches up! The blood sample matches up with the one we took before the birth! And there are **none** of the usual slight chances you expect with a clone! It's him Tora! It's him!"

She didn't stand up, simply shuddered slightly. Logan came in looking grim, followed by Surge.

"You just found out?"

She nodded, seeming unable to vocalise her feelings.

"Noriko knows someone who can…help."

Tora's eyes met the student's.

"Who?"

"There's a name we all know, a person we all trust. A leader for the kids like me who don't want to be on the streets but are. A person who, in the end, we all end up gravitating to."

"Who? A name."

"But… She likes her secrecy. I doubt she'll want to see you."

"Please Noriko."

The teenage girl nodded.

"I'll talk to her. But there's no guarantee she'll talk back."

* * *

><p>Phoenix didn't say anything as the other two leant forward. Endings and beginnings, together at the end of the old universe…and the birth of a new one.<p>

* * *

><p><strong><em>A.N.<em>**_ Sorry about the delay. I've been sorting Christmas Cards for my Scout Troop.  
><em>


	92. Burned Wood

**Memories**

Burned Wood

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"Cia, please."

"Nori, I can't break the faith."

"But they're his **parents**."

"We don't **have** parents."

"Cia, they're X-Men. And that boy was kidnapped, forcibly aged and trained to kill them! I was there when they thought he had **died**. His mother refused to teach, refused to leave the library, ended up **depressed**, all because she thought he had died! They aren't like our parents! They **care**! Cia, we have to help them!"

Logan and Tora exchanged looks. Surge had been in that room yelling for the past ten minutes. They were in a derelict building, obviously not the main base of this mysterious 'Cia'. From what Surge said, it was somewhere in Manhattan. Suddenly, Noriko stepped out.

"She'll see you."

Logan stood up. Surge raised her hand in warning.

"But…"

"But?"

"But when you step into that room, you'll lose your senses of sight and smell. Cia… likes her privacy. You'll hear her and if you reach out, you could touch her, but you won't be able to find out what she looks or smells like."

"WHAT!"

"That's her conditions."

Tora frowned at the blue haired girl.

"Noriko…?"

"And…and I'm no longer a part of her group. I've agreed to a memory wipe. I'll remember her name and a few unimportant details. But appearance, hideout, important stuff… all gone."

"Thank you."

She shrugged.

"I wasn't really there for long. It was more a sort of stopping point."

"Why all the secrecy?"

"Cia…has had problems… with mutant supremacy groups trying to recruit her. She's an Omega Level if there ever was one."

"So her mutation is to do with memory? Or sensory input?"

"No. That's Ells. Cia…Cia has…has…"

She shook her head as the memories slipped away. Logan walked into the room, Tora stopping to touch Surge's arm comfortingly before following. As soon as they stepped into the room they saw…nothing. There was no one in the room. Then a voice, young, female, soft, rang out.

"You are X-Men?"

"Yes."

"You want to find the clawed boy?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"He's our son."

"Many of those who come to me want to escape their family."

Tora stepped forward.

"We care for him, we want him home," the claws slid out, "Men did this to me when I was younger than you. I am a weapon. And I do not want my son to suffer what I did."

"Metal in your bones?"

"And whips on my back and needles in my veins and fire on my arms and brands on my legs. Beatings, training, savaging by dogs. What mother would want her child to suffer that?"

"Prove it."

The voice was harsh.

"Why do you doubt me? Ah… Your parents betrayed you, didn't they?"

Silence was the only answer.

"I found my parents. Then I left them. They didn't, **couldn't** understand who, **what** I was. I was little more than an animal. I had two great friends and both are dead. And I've almost lost the one I loved and I had a son who was stolen. I have lost so, **so** much. Maybe I want to find it again?"

Then the air rippled and a young woman, only about nineteen appeared before them. She looked like a carved wooden doll. And one arm was blackened like charcoal with a white ash stump where the hand should be. There were other burns, other cracks in the otherwise smooth wood, but the arm was the worst.

"Look what my family did to me! My parents died years ago and when my guardian found me talking to the tree, she burned me! I was the Devil Incarnate! LOOK AT ME!"

Tora stood and met the carved eyes.

"I became this because it was the only way to stop the pain! I used to create flowers and vines and food. Now I'm stuck as a doll. This is what the people who were supposed to care for me did."

Tora reached out and the girl stepped back.

"I can heal you."

"No one can heal me."

"Trust me. I will heal you."

The burned wooden stump tentatively reached out and touched the flesh finger. And the ash and charcoal flickered as water coiled around it. The arm changed to smooth, glossy wood and then to flesh which spread across the body until the girl looked entirely normal. She gazed at her hand, previously half crushed and crumbling ash and flexed it. An odd look passed over her features and then suddenly flowers sprouted from her hands, a violently coloured bouquet. Then she laughed.

"You have my thanks. The boy headed north, towards the state line. He had black hair with red flecks that looked dyed in. Hetrochromia iridium. Yes, I do know medical terms. One eye was blue. The other was gold, like yours. He spoke oddly, like his mind was elsewhere. He couldn't fix on any one thing for too long. I gave him enough food for three days. He mentioned getting to Washington. But then, he also mentioned going to Miami, which is in the opposite direction. Keep an eye out on the train lines. I doubt he'll run the trains but he might use the tracks as a guide."

"Run the trains?"

"Fair dodge. You actually live on the trains, kip in the luggage racks and so on. I couldn't use it to get here but other kids do."

"Why not?"

"Not exactly inconspicuous, was I?"

Tora shrugged.

"You could have stayed still, pretended to be a statue."

The girl, her face now able to move properly, laughed. Logan frowned.

"Tora, what's going on? You disappeared a while ago."

The plant girl rolled her eyes.

"Ells, we're rolling out. Make the woman visible, and make me invisible, inaudible, untouchable and unsmellable."

A young girl answered.

"Sure Cia!"

Cia looked at Tora as she began to fade out of view.

"Debts are paid. You healed me, I gave you information. We never met. Understand?"

"Of course."

The greenish-brown eyes met gold and the girl grinned.

"Thank you. If you ever need help, ask for Acacia. I'll be willing to help."

"I'll keep that in mind. If you ever need help from us, go to the Xavier Institute."

Just before she faded from view, the girl nodded and smiled. Tora nodded and then Logan grabbed her arms.

"Don't you **dare** disappear like that again!"

She shook her head.

"I got the information we needed. And helped a young woman's life get a lot better."

Suddenly she staggered as thoughts bombarded her.

_Etana was standing beside her, lips tight. There was a look on her face that Tora guessed had appeared just before Etana had killed someone._

"_Once we have found Curt Tora, I am going to track down that girl's guardians and give them a piece of my mind."_

"_Etana, please don't go around torturing people. If we have to, we can bring it to court."_

"_Court? I never did very well in courts. Too many bad memories. I've been tried as a murderer, a demon, a witch, a fairy and a cross-dresser."_

"_A cross-dresser?"_

"_Look, I needed to wear armour and they don't make armour in women's sizes, so unless I was going to get Hephaestus to make me some more armour, which, seeing as he was making me some adamantine stuff at the time, was a bit ungrateful."_

"_Hephaetus? As in the Greek god?"_

"_Oh, didn't you know? Athena and me go back years. The Warrior Maidens. That's what they called us. Mortal and Immortal warrior maids who you really didn't want to get on your bad side. My armour was a gift from her at my three-hundredth birthday. I got on with Hercules as well. He kept asking if I was a demi-god and we had an argument about whether the Greek gods were actually Gods. I said they were just immensely powerful beings who allowed themselves to be worshipped and got taken in by their own deception…"_

"_And Hercules said?"_

"_Nothing. He just hit me over the head with his club. Luckily I was wearing my adamantine helmet, which prevented my head from rolling around on the floor. We didn't speak for the other two-thousand, seven hundred years until the wedding. Then all he said was, 'Athena sends her love'. Why are we talking about me? We have a prodigal son to catch."_

Tora staggered and felt Logan catch her.

"What's wrong?"

"Others…can't keep them locked out…"

"You don't have to come with me."

She pulled herself upright and slapped him.

"I. Am. Coming. _Compris_?"

Logan nodded and they walked out to where Noriko was sitting with an odd look on her face.

"I can remember everything. She didn't wipe my memory…"

Tora touched her arm.

"Cia found out about trust."

* * *

><p>Trust. A word with only one meaning, but so many shades. A word that could be used to mean a thousand things, yet truly only meant one. Trust. The one thing the three beings in the room felt for each other implicitly. They may not like each other, or even tolerate each other in normal circumstances. But they trusted the others to help them, lay down their life for them if required. Not that it <strong>would<strong> be required. But if it was, it was good to know that there were those who cared. How many people lived without care?


	93. Prodigal

**Memories**

Prodigal

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Wolf was confused. Why had the woman, who had been so angry before, stood between him and her husband? He had heard her pleading for him to come back, begging the man not to hurt him. Why? Why? WHY? So many confusing things. Who **was** he? Who were his family? And why had the waters surrounding him felt so…soothing. He could breath them, when before, water had been a hated substance. He had felt the power and absorbed it and become strong. And there had been something like him, something familiar. Something that had comforted him. Something warm and all-embracing. Something like what he thought a mother would be like.

Sometimes, when Wolf wasn't training, he daydreamed about a life he couldn't have. He'd have funny, vibrant parents who let him do anything he wanted, he'd have a little brother to use as an accomplish in his madcap schemes and a little sister to boss around. No older siblings. They'd boss **him** around. Wolf leapt up over the bridge and continued to run. He wasn't going back, that much he was sure of. He wasn't going to see the looks on his tutors faces when they realised he'd failed.

* * *

><p>Phoenix didn't say anything, just reached out and clasped the hand of her friend.<p>

"It's okay. Everything turned out okay."

"I know."

* * *

><p>Logan watched as Tora buried her head in her hands, shuddering. She was wearing the old orange and black costume. As she'd said, it was a matter for Tora, not Dragon. She seemed intrigued with the orange X on her black gloves and was deliberately not looking at him. Logan moved over and pulled her close.<p>

"It'll be okay. I promise."

She looked up, the white eyecovers hiding her emotions.

"You told me yourself. Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I promise I'll do my best."

She didn't seem to hear him, instead returning to looking at her hands.

"Look, please talk to me."

She shook her head.

"I…Look, I just don't want to talk."

He nodded and allowed her to move to the other side of the Blackbird. He didn't need Emma and Charles to tell him to know what she was thinking. Maybe it was just they'd started to get used to acting as a unit, finishing each other's sentences and going out of their way to make life easier for the other. She would leave out food when he was out late doing, as it was called by everyone in the house, 'Logan stuff' and operated on a 'don't ask, don't tell' basis that made her a lot easier to be around. In return, he would deliberately get up when one of the children cried to allow her to catch up on sleep. He'd noticed Eva was a much more difficult child than Jamie. She screamed a lot but then he was sort of to blame for that. Tora's approach to raising Jamie was, 'If he cries and he's not hungry, wet or tired, he's attention seeking. Leave him for five minutes. If he **still** hasn't stopped crying, go and check on him.' Logan panicked every single time Eva cried and ran to check on her straight away. Tora normally rolled her eyes and stuffed her head under the pillow at that point and groaned at this. He kept trying to make eye contact, but Tora was sitting cross-legged on the floor, concentrating on her breathing, meditating. Logan knew she was arguing with Dragon by the slight twitch around her lips. She was frowning now and then suddenly the dragon curled from out of her and reshaped into a small cat which solidified to a soft bluish-grey colour with dark black splotches on it's coat. The cat sniffed and padded over to a corner and curled up to sleep. Tora relaxed and looked up.

"I've got us a little extra help."

"What the…"

"I splintered off a little of Dragon as well as a little of myself to make the cat. Dragons are just a little **too** conspicuous."

"Great. What use is it in a fight?"

"Show him."

The cat uncurled and kept on uncurling until a huge tiger was glaring at him. Only the tiger was a different colour, the soft bluish-grey. It blinked slowly at him.

"Can it talk?"

"No. It's just a construct of raw power and with a part of my personality. Change back now."

The tiger blinked and turned back to the small cat.

"I didn't give it free will. Given more time, I could have allowed it to speak and given it basic free will. At the moment though, I just need something that can scout out and protect Curt if necessary."

Logan nodded and didn't say anything. Tora was in her pensive mood, the one where it was useless to talk to her. Sometimes, she remained silent for hours on end then would suddenly leap up and start talking before returning to her silent thoughts. He accepted it as a part of her. Not one of her best facets, but certainly one of the easiest to deal with. She closed her eyes.

"We should sleep."

He nodded and reclined the seat.

* * *

><p>"The beginning of a beautiful companionship."<p>

"Don't you mean the beginning of countless arguments?"

"What happened to Jeannie?"

"She was set free."

* * *

><p>Wolf was sitting in the alley, stroking the cat. The cat had just turned up. Wolf liked cats. Or maybe he just liked this cat. Wolf had never had likes and dislikes before. It was fun. He liked the outdoors and chocolate and running. He didn't like queues and prunes and crowds. And apparently he liked cats. And cats liked him. Well, this cat did. It was pretty. It had warm golden eyes and blue fur. Wolf hadn't known you could get blue cats. But then, there was a lot he hadn't known. He hadn't known you had to have bits of green paper to get on the train. He'd found some green paper and drawn the little faces on them but he'd just been laughed at and thrown off the train. So he'd walked until his feet had bled, then he'd walked even more. He just wanted to get away. From <strong>Them<strong>. He wasn't certain who **They** were. Maybe it was his trainers. Maybe it was the man and woman. Or maybe it was just her, with that terrible look on her face as she'd begged him to come back. Wolf wasn't certain. All he knew was that he wasn't alone anymore. He had…The Cat.

"You want a name?"

The cat blinked.

"I'm going to call you Cat. Because you're a cat."

Cat didn't seem too impressed with his (Hers? Its?) new name but Wolf had realized pretty early on that Cat wasn't easily impressed. He stroked behind Cat's ears and felt a rush of satisfaction when Cat purred. Then he heard a gun being cocked and scrambled up. One of the guards (who were there to 'protect' him) was standing in the entrance to the alley, gun trained on Wolf's head. Wolf moved backwards, preparing to attack. Cat though had no such reservations. It ran forward then leapt, suddenly elongating until a huge tiger (tiger? I thought Cat was a cat?) roared and suddenly tore through sinew and bone. The scream was cut off and then Cat…turned back into a cat? (Really, **really** weird!)

Who are you?

(I'm you.)

Cool! So I get a voice in my head, who **is** my head?

(Yep!)

Way cool!

(Look, shouldn't we be, I don't know, FINDING OUT WHY CAT TURNED INTO A TIGER!)

Sorry brain. But, we **are** clinically insane.

(Yes, well, you don't have to be sane to find out about the cat/tiger. Unless we're hallucinating, but we haven't suffered hallucinations before.)

Wolf blinked. He had a friend! Well, not a friend because Brain was a part of him, but **like** a friend. Then he heard the voices.

"He has to be here. The cat was with him."

"Tora, he'll have run by now."

And then the woman appeared him front of him. She was dressed in orange and black. Behind her was Weapon X, in yellow and blue. She held him back.

"Curt?"

The name was like a half remembered dream. Wolf shook his head to dispel the confusion.

"What did they do to you Curt?"

"Who's Curt?"

(**YOU**, Dumbo!)

Wolf blinked. He didn't move as the woman signalled and Cat leapt up around her neck, curling until the unblinking golden eyes fixed on him. The woman reached out a hand and Wolf batted it away. She reached out again and caught it, placing them palm-to-palm.

"What do you remember? What was your life?"

"I've been in training since I was a child."

"Curt, you're three months old."

No.

(Yes.)

"Who are you?"

"At the risk of sounding like Darth Vader, I'm your mother."

"LIAR!"

He span away, striking out at her face, bone claws sliding out, tearing the mask. And he saw golden eyes, just like his right eye.

"Who…?"

"Trust me. We won't hurt you."

"Everyone hurts me."

(She didn't. She was hurt **protecting **you)

The look of sorrow was deep in her eyes.

"You sent Cat to spy on me!"

"I sent 'Cat' to **look after** you."

"What?"

"You saw what it did to protect you. I would do exactly the same. Cat **is** me."

And Cat purred before turning into a trickle of water and curling into the woman's fist. She looked at him defiantly.

"I care for you. More than you could possibly know. Find the thread. In your mind. Eva's at the other end."

"Eva?"

"Your sister."

"I have a **sister**!"

"This is sounding like a Star-Wars spoof."

"Who's **he**?"

(Who do you **think** dumb-idiot?)

"Logan, if you come out with another Star Wars-esque line, I will never forgive you."

"I'm her husband. Yer dad."

Whoa. So not real!

"But your **Weapon X**!"

"I used to be."

"But… You can't be my… **dad**. You're… You're… a legend!"

The woman…

(Mother, Curt… Mother!)

Okay, **Mother** rolled her eyes.

"He snores. And hogs the quilt."

(You really thought a legend would be perfect?)

All Wolf could do was splutter. Were these really his parents? They were legends in their own right. He'd heard all the stories from the guards. The slaughter of the entire facility by Weapon X. The speed at which Weapon X-ii had picked up every little thing. They were the people he had been trained to be better than. And they were his parents! Somehow, deep down, Wolf- **Curt**- knew that this wasn't a lie, wasn't a cruel physiological trick. This was real. He swallowed, trying to make his mouth a little more moist after it had dried.

"I wanna go home."

(That's the spirit Curty-Boy)

* * *

><p>Phoenix gave an odd smile.<p>

"He never recovered, did he?"

"No. There was no way of undoing what was done to him. For better or worse."

**_A.N._**_ Merry Christmas everyone, especially Jeanniebird and adelphe24! I'm going to be without Internet over Christmas but don't worry, I'll keep writing._


	94. Home

**Memories**

Home

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Curt bounced up and down in the Blackbird on the way to his new home, ignoring the odd looks from the big blue beast who was flying. He was going to stay with Weapon X! His mother was X-ii! He was the son of the two most famous Weapons of all time. He blinked. He thought he was fifteen. But he was three months old. That was confusing. But he had his Brain now to talk to. Oddly, Brain was being a little quiet now. Hey, Brain was a little…well, unimaginative.

I know! Hey, Brian, wake up!

(What? **Brian**?)

Well, it's better than Brain.

(I like being called Brain. Brian's just a stupid name)

That's not very nice to people called Brian.

(I want to be called…Curt II!)

No.

(Please…)

No.

(Please…)

Curt suddenly realised that everyone was staring at him.

"What?"

"Who are you talking to?"

"My brain."

His parents exchanged a look and his father (YAY! FATHER!) opened his mouth. Whatever he was going to say was stopped by the blue beast shouting out that they were landing. Curt caught a glimpse of a big mansion. His mouth dropped open. **That** would be his home? WAY COOL! The plane landed and he leapt off the plane to see a teenage girl aged about fifteen with long black hair and bright green eyes. Mother hugged the girl.

"Are you my sister? Because if you are, I may have to develop an Orpheus complex for siblings!"

The blue beast and his mother both froze and the coffee the beast had been drinking sprayed out through his teeth.

"Curt, this is Laura."

"You're not my sister! Oh, that's **brilliant**."

"She's your father's clone."

Awww…

(Like she'd be interested in you.)

Not nice Brian.

(It's Curt II!)

Brian!

(Curt II!)

Brian!

(Curt II!)

BRIAN!

(CURT II!)

"Are you alright Curt?"

"Mother?"

"It's Maman. I'm taking you to see the professor. He'll give you the once over then Dr McCoy over there will give you a physical."

"Maman?"

"It's French."

"Oh…"

She offered him her hand and he followed her upstairs, past gleaming rooms. A blue demon gave Maman a hug and smiled at Curt.

"Welcome home Curt-with-a-C. I'm Kurt-with-a-K."

"Pleased to meet you Kurt-with-a-K but my name's just Curt."

The man burst out laughing.

"I'll see you soon."

Then he disappeared in a loud BAMF!

"Whoa…"

"That's Kurt. We named you after him. He's your dad's best friend."

They continued down the corridors and a man in a blue suit with red glasses caught her sleeve.

"Tora, I need that report on my desk by tomorrow. Fury wants all the threads tied up by Wednesday. And don't tell me you've been picking up strays."

"Do you pay **any** attention to me at all Summers? Why did I say I was going?"

"I was busy!"

"That boy is **Curt** Scott! CURT!"

"Oh…"

She slapped him and marched off grumbling.

"Hello Summers Scott. I'm Curt!"

Then Curt scampered off after his mother, leaving Cyclops standing dumbfounded. Wolverine walking past quickly, not even bothering to exchange insults, confused him even more. Maybe Emma could tell him what happened. Instead he caught Laura's arm.

"Curt? As in the baby?"

"Oh yes. She forgot to tell you. She went off with Hank to rescue him."

"Using the Blackbird?"

"She did clear it with the Professor first."

"And she didn't tell me?"

"You were busy."

And Laura hurried off after Tora, Logan and their son.

* * *

><p>Phoenix suddenly reached out with her mind and linked herself to the other two.<p>

_Why?_

_Because. It's easier to talk like this._

_Really?_

Flashes of memories, images for centuries past flew past. Faster and faster and faster until a blur was all that could be seen. Then everything ended in a cataclysmic fight that lasted so long it appeared as a single drawn out second in the speeded-up version of the universe. Phoenix felt once again the pain of burning but also the pain of burning from her companion. And it hurt…

* * *

><p>Professor Xavier withdrew from Curt's mind.<p>

"I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"I cannot help you. Your mind is fractured beyond what I can heal. I cannot even get a proper fix on you. Your mind is…changing. It seems to be on alternating frequencies. One moment, you have one mind, the next, another."

(That'd be me!)

SHUT UP BRIAN!

(It's Curt II!)

"Curt, are you alright?"

"I'm brilliant. Superb. Healthy. Happy. I'm home."

"Oh. Would you like to go outside for a while? Laura can take you to see Jamie and Eva."

"My bro and sis right?"

"Yes. Your siblings."

"Cool!"

He leapt up and ran out. Logan raised an eyebrow.

"He'll always be like that. I think that somehow, he was forcibly aged, possibly with Shi'ar technology. He's had memories implanted, some of Laura's and some of yours Tora. He seems to have a fractured psyche. He talks of a 'Brian', although if it's a friend or a facet of his personality, I wasn't sure. His mind is constantly shifting, trying to heal the damage done to it, and in the process, turning him insane."

"My kid is insane?"

"I'm sorry Logan. You're going to have to stand by him. He's confused and more afraid than he likes to make out."

Tora let her head fall.

"Why did people do that to him?"

"Because Tora, you and Logan together cost those people over three billion dollars and they want you back."

"They abandoned my project. They lost any right they had to control me then."

"But then you were weak. Now they look and see one of the most powerful mutants in the world, who is capable of defeating Thor."

"Thor wasn't trying."

"And neither were you."

"Look, I'm not some sort of omnipotent being! I'm just…just Tora!"

"Really? Tora, as Dragon, you reach levels that only Dark Phoenix could, without even trying. I know you think that Jean was more powerful, but even at your weakest moment, you are stronger than anyone else in this house."

"I'm not…"

"It's time you admitted it to yourself Tora. You are quite possibly the most powerful person on the planet, and that includes Thor and some of Stephen's more powerful adversaries. You control **history** Tora. And what is more powerful than history?"

"I said, **SHUT UP**!"

She turned and ran out the room. Charles sighed and looked at Logan.

"We need to get her to embrace her full potential. Our lives could depend on her using her full powers."

"Just let her make her own choices Charles. Let us make our own choices."

"Logan, Tora **must** learn to control her gifts. If not, I foresee we all suffer."

"Why?"

"Because Tora is a good woman. One of the best. And she controls a huge force that is neutral. Her potential… Logan, Tora can handle powers that even Dark Phoenix would have found difficult. Without even consciously realizing it."

"Look Chuck. Tora never wanted that. She accepts it. But you don't sleep with her. You don't hear the nightmares. It used to be she'd scream about Weapon X. Now she screams about other, worse stuff. Stuff about dying worlds and burning. Shattering, falling, being torn to shreds. It's killing her Chuck. And the worst bit is, she doesn't realise it."

* * *

><p>"She wasn't using enough power to be the true Dragon, but was using enough to change her from a normal human. She was the inbetween stage. And it would have torn her to pieces."<p> 


	95. Freedom

**Memories**

Freedom

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

_I am free. I am free._

_The words spiralled around her as she floated in the black oblivion. No more being forced to kill, no more hurting people. She let herself smile. Then she was being wrenched out of the comforting blackness._

"_NOOOO!"_

"_Kid! Stay with us kid!"_

_It wasn't her handlers. It was someone else. Her eyes opened and she saw a large white letter A._

"_Who are...you?"_

"_I'm Captain America. Are you okay kid?"_

"_I need…to warn…Charles…Xavier…"_

"_What? What do you need to warn him?"_

"_They…they…are going…to…kill him… He…knows…too…much."_

"_About what?"_

"_About…me…"_

"_Who are you?"_

_Now to die. Now to return to the beautiful dark._

"_I am…the…Assassin."_

"_What…?"_

_He didn't understand._

"_I'm…the one…you're looking…for…"_

"_**You** killed the Vice-President?"_

"_I…can't…help my…myself… If…if I…don't…Eva…will…die…"_

"_Who is Eva?"_

"_My…friend…"_

"_Where is she?"_

"_Back…at the…facility."_

"_What facility?"_

"_The place…they…did…this to…to me…"_

"_What did they do to you?"_

"_Turned…turned me…into a…monster…"_

"_Stay with me. Don't go…"_

"_I…I want… I want…"_

"_Tell me. I can get it for you."_

"_I want you…to…find…Eva… Save her… And…and…"_

"_Tell me."_

"_I want…to be free…"_

"_You are free. Now. You're free."_

"_Not…not yet…"_

"_Kid! Kid! Iron Man! Help! She's slipping away!"_

"_We can't help her Cap. She's dying."_

"_She can't die! She's just a kid!"_

"_I'm…going to…to be…be free…"_

"_Yes. Yes, you will. Just hang on and we can get you to a hospital."_

"_Don't understand… While…while I'm…alive…can never…be free."_

"_Kid! Kid! Stay with us!"_

"_It's too late Steve. Her heart's stopped."_

"_She…she can't just **die**."_

"_She did. But we can honour her wish."_

"_How?"_

"_Find Eva. Save Eva. And tell the world what this child went through."_

"_What?"_

"_She sent me a message via Extremis. She told me everything about her."_

_And as Xii finally fell back into the blackness, she smiled. Eva would be free. And she was free. Finally free._

xXx

_Xii limped as she was dragged down the corridor. Her mind cried out. WOLVERINE! Her mate. Her lover. He had been injured, so badly injured… She tried to tug at the chains._

"_Tigre, stay."_

_She let out a low moan._

"_She wants Wolverine."_

"_Put her in with Sabretooth. That should satisfy her."_

"_It won't. Remember? When we put her in last time, she almost killed him."_

"_Take her to her cage. When Wolverine has been healed, let them out into the forest for an hour together."_

_She looked up at her handler and tilted her head._

"_Yes. It's fine Tigre. He'll be alright."_

"_You're hopelessly soft on it Jonesy."_

"_She's smart. Come on, who doesn't know she's smarter than they like to make out. She used to be able to hack the Pentagon without breaking a sweat."_

"_Yeah. And the adamantium broke her mind."_

_She snarled. She could talk. She could be human. But she had seen what humans did and she had no desire to be one. Better to be an animal. With the animals, with Wolverine, there was a kindness no human had ever shown her. She yelped as she was pushed into her cell. Her handler smiled._

"_There sweetie. He'll be alright. Now, you get some sleep. You did brilliantly on that mission. I'll get you time in the forest, just you and Wolverine. How would you like that?"_

_She purred. He cared about her in his own way. Like you cared for a pet. She remembered a history lesson, all those years ago. The keepers in the Roman gladiator arenas cared for the animals, especially the ones kept to kill condemned criminals. He thought of her as an animal and she played up to that, learning that acting as a human meant you were treated badly. Guards had more trouble hurting a beast that cowered and whined. She pulled herself onto the mess of straw and rags that served as her bed. Once there, she carefully knelt and cut her boot off. Her leg was swollen and raw from where the dart had dug into it. She'd cut off the shaft but the head was embedded in her calf. She couldn't claw it out. If Wolverine was here, he'd do it for her, but he wasn't. Wincing in preparation for the pain to come, she leant over the wound. And began tearing into the flesh with her teeth in a desperate attempt to remove the dart._

xXx

_She sat in silence in the room. The people who had rescued her were kind but there was a hardness inside them. The language barrier didn't help, especially when only one of the men spoke decent French. Even then, it was the French of the Bayou. Not exactly what she was used to. The lucky English-speakers. English was pretty much the same the world over. But even the French of the Quebec was different from the French of her home. Remy entered._

"Etes-vous en bonne santé?_"_

_Are you healthy?_

"Un peu_."_

_A little._

"Quel est votre nom?_"_

_What is your name?_

"Mon nom est Marie. Marie Circen._"_

_She looked around the room._

"Combien de temps dois-je rester ici_?"_

_How long must I stay here?_

"Un, deux semaines_."_

_One, two weeks._

_Marie wanted to cry. She had to get home. Her parents would be worrying, her sister would be terrified. Remy crouched down._

"C'est correct. Tout sera très bien. Croyez-moi_."_

_It's okay. Everything's going to be just fine. Trust me._

_She smiled weakly. He touched her face._

"_I won't let them hurt you."_

* * *

><p>"The realities she visited told of her mood, didn't they?"<p>

"Of course."


	96. Creation

**Memories**

Creation

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Hank smiled at Logan and Tora.

"Physically, he's fine. He's just an average, teenage mutant boy. Eight claws, two that extend from each hand, two wrist claws and two foot claws that extend from between the toes."

"So like Laura with an extra claw in each wrist?"

"Precisely."

Curt gave a big grin.

"This place is **so** cool! I heard there's a cool room I can fight in! Please can I go down later?"

"You're a child Curt, despite the fact your body is that of an adolescent."

"But…"

"No buts. Maybe later. But not straight away."

He groaned.

"Pleeaase…"

"No."

"But…"

"Upstairs. We're giving you a room of your own until you adjust."

Curt grinned.

"Can I have Cat with me?"

"Cat?"

Tora smiled.

"I can do **better** than that. Give me an hour or two."

She walked off and let Logan and Hank talk to Curt. She walked into her room and sat cross-legged on the floor. Then she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. And dived into the heart of herself.

_It was odd. Each facet of her personality sat on a crystal throne. Xii, Marie, Tora, Dark Dragon, The Beast. And Tigress. Tigress was the wild side of her, the free, powerful part of her. The Beast, the part of her that was Poacher's main personality was chained to her throne. Tora, as the dominant personality had the largest chair at the apex of the semi-circle. Tigress and Xii, the next two, sat on either side of her, with Marie and The Beast next to them. Dark Dragon stood behind The Beast, hands firmly on her shoulders. That was the truth of Dark Dragon. Created **by** Tora to protect the world from the worst facet of herself. A jailor, created so that if Tora, Tigress, Xii and Marie were all indisposed, The Beast wouldn't have free reign. Dragon lay curled up at the base of the semi-circle._

Tigress. I can give you your freedom.

_Tigress inclined her feline head. She looked rather like Hank, the bestial version of Tora from another reality. In the same way, Marie was a toddler, Xii a twelve-year-old girl, Dark Dragon looked as she had when she materialised, in burgundy and tarnished silver and The Beast looked identical to Poacher._

I liked being separate.

_Marie and Xii both nodded. They had no desire to lead the body, as Marie was shy and Xii insecure. Tigress meanwhile was ambitious and often asked why Tora hadn't seized control of the pack. The Beast snarled._

Why does **she** get a body of her own?

Because **you** are too dangerous to be allowed out. **She** won't kill unless absolutely necessary.

_Tigress inclined her head._

As in the Poacher business.

I will find a way of making the construct permanent, with help from our lodger.

_Dragon let out a low chuckle._

It is a good idea. I'd keep her linked at all times. That way, you know what the Hatchling is doing.

_Tora, Marie, Xii and Tigress all nodded._

I don't want to be called Tigress though. I want a real, **human** name. You are Tora. She is Marie. Even Xii has a name that sounds real. But I? I want a name.

_Tora inclined her head._

Etana spoke of her friend, Jeanne. As in Joan of Arc. Would that name be suitable?

Jeanne? I like it.

_The newly christened Jeanne smiled. The Beast growled._

She gets a name. Why don't I?

_Xii rolled her eyes and made a slight motion with her hand. Instantly, Dark Dragon grasped The Beast around the throat._

Silence.

_The words thundered around Tora's mind._

You are the worst of us all.

_Marie raised a hand._

Yes?

_They all had a soft spot for the little girl. She was shy and sweet, a sign of what Tora could one day have been._

May I go with her? Just a little bit of me?

Jeanne, do you have a problem with a part of Marie going with you?

No. There won't be a problem. I assume you'll only sent a little bit of her?

Of course. About the same amount of you that will remain here. So we are decided?

_They exchanged looks. First Jeanne spoke._

Oui.

_Xii nodded._

Oui.

_Marie gave a big grin._

S'il vous plait!

_Dark Dragon nodded. She rarely spoke, as she had was normally engaged in a battle of minds with The Beast. Finally, The Beast snarled._

Fine! She can go!

_Tora looked at Dragon._

Your thoughts?

I like the idea. I'm in.

_Tora smiled. And left._

As soon as Tora left the heart of her mind, everything that had happened slipped out of her memory as all segments of her personality merged to create the normal Tora. She took the bits she knew had to be used and closed her eyes, allowing the power to flow through her. The water trickled from her fingers forming the cat, which span as muscles, internal organs and fur were formed. The cat form was finished but still appeared as water. Tora repeated the progress with the tiger form, then linked them together. And finally worked on placing the part of her into the body. Then she finished, tying the part of her in the cat to her main mind.

"Hello…Jeanne."

The cat grinned.

"Hello."

Tora tried to stand up but toppled as her legs tried to adapt from the position they'd been in for over an hour. The cat slid herself under one hand and help Tora lever herself up.

"Next time, tell me when I've sat in one position for…one hour, twenty-nine minutes and thirteen seconds. You can come in now!"

Logan stepped into the room and frowned.

"What took so long?"

"I wanted to be perfect."

His mouth dropped open as the cat proceeded to talk gently, calming Tora.

"Relax. Just calm down. Shhh. It's fine."

Tora smiled and managed to stand up, swaying slightly.

"Logan, meet Jeanne. Jeanne, meet Logan. I mean, you do know each other as Jeanne is a part of me, but she's now sort of separate so she should properly be introduced."

"I think you should go and lie down."

"Good idea Jeanne. Just go say hello to Curt…"

The cat nodded and padded off. Logan managed to catch Tora before she collapsed and managed to manhandle her onto the bed.

"Get some sleep."

"Stay with me."

"I have to go. Curt needs someone to stay with him."

"I'm with him."

"You're here."

"Jeanne is with him. She is me. I know what she is thinking, where she is. It's all in here."

She tapped the side of her head.

"Stay with me Logan. I need someone to keep me anchored."

"What?"

"Stay. Please."

He glanced at the door and then sat down on the side of the bed.

"I'll stay."

She smiled and caught his hand.

"Stay with me. Always."

"I'll never leave."

* * *

><p>"But you had to leave didn't you? Oh, you had years. Centuries. But in the end you decided to go."<p>

"Everyone goes."

"But he didn't have to."

Death closed her eyes.

"You cannot make a man undying for he will curse you with all his soul."


	97. Forbode

**Memories**

Forebode

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Curt grinned as Cat came into his room.

"CAT!"

"My name is Jeanne."

"You can talk!"

"Not before. Now I can. Now I'm pretty much a separate being, although strictly speaking I am a part of your mother and she is a part of me."

"Is she spying on me?"

"No. At the moment she's sleeping. She drew on too much power making me 'perfect'. In fact…" The cat closed her golden eyes. "She's curled up on the bed, dreaming about a Library that is a Labyrinth."

"What?"

"It's a Dragon thing."

"What is the Dragon?"

Jeanne curled up on his lap.

"Stroke me behind the ears and I'll tell you. Bear in mind, it's a long story."

"We have time."

"Right. Now, don't interrupt."

"OK."

"Once upon a time, when the universe began, there were two sisters…"

* * *

><p>"Jeanne was a part of her yet separate. Why?"<p>

"Well, you can talk to a cat. You can't talk to a sword."

"Well you can, but you look an idiot."

"And Jeanne could talk back."

"What happened to her?"

"She was set free."

* * *

><p>Jeanne had soon been petted by every student in the school. She seemed to enjoy it and ended up being widely accepted. Probably the fact she used a toilet rather than a litter box was what persuaded Scott to allow her to stay. Tora was still sleeping, still allowing her body to adjust. She wouldn't wake for another twelve hours. Splitting the soul was a tiring process. Jeanne sent back the thoughts on the thread. She liked being Jeanne but she was still Tora. Tora and Jeanne. Maybe she could be Tigress now. Dragon and Tigress. The unstoppable team. A part of each other, two bodies, one mind. Jeanne padded away from the children and stuck her head into Tora and Logan's room. Tora was lying on the bed, arms around Logan who was holding her to his chest, stroking her head. Jeanne smiled then went to the next door and sat watching the children. Jamie opened his eyes.<p>

"Maman…"

Then he fell asleep, his mouth moving slightly. Jeanne blinked her golden eyes then smiled. This was where she belonged, looking after cubs, caring for hatchlings. She would sacrifice her new life to save the younglings in the building.

In the darkness, Jeanne smiled. She had a purpose.

* * *

><p>"A cat with human thoughts. Did she have any <strong>idea <strong>what she had created?"

"No. But then, she was human then."

* * *

><p>She cried out, cried in the dark. She felt Jeanne inquire but blocked the link, determined not to allow anyone else into her mind, especially right now. Phoenix too was blocked and Dragon deliberately turned away. It was the one selfish aspect of herself. The one thing she could not, would not share. The door in her mind was barred. No one got in or out. There was just her, alone, as she hadn't been for years, ever since Doom tore down her barriers, allowed her to flit from reality to reality and gave her the gift to lower the barriers around her mind. And gave Dragon the entrance point.<p>

But now she was alone again and free to think and feel as she pleased. And the emotions were running wild. Wave after wave of emotion. She closed her eyes. For years, emotions had been suppressed. Then she had the freedom to feel. Then she'd turned into the Destroyer. Dark Dragon had been sustained by her emotions. So the emotions had been tucked away, hidden under the shields that had been put in place by a blood-soaked girl crying over the body of her friend. And now the emotions were free again. Free and out. And expelled in cries into the darkness.

* * *

><p>Emotion. A thing foreign to cosmic entities, beings who could not feel joy, anger, hate or love unless it was a part of their purpose. That was why it was so risky to take an avatar. The emotions were so overpowering, so wild, it could drive you mad. A risk few were willing to take. But if you did… Living was addictive. Very addictive. Which could result in terrible catastrophes.<p>

* * *

><p>She walked quietly down the corridors. Something was wrong. She could sense it in the very air. Something terrible was going to happen. She knew. She just…knew. And it would be soon. Very soon. She shook her head. She needed to help with other stuff. She shifted the papers. The school was her main focus now. Some women, such as Sue Richards, could juggle heroing and child-care. But add teaching duties to that and you couldn't, just <strong>couldn't<strong> do all three to the best of your abilities. She was off active duty, but on mission control and filing. And it was **dull**, so boring and empty. She was meant to fight, to save lives, not send reports to Nick Fury. She tapped in the code to the sub-levels and hurried down, trying to talk to Logan in the comm-link at the same time.

"Look, all I know is the schematics say there's a tunnel there."

"Whoops."

"No, that wasn't for you Logan. I just dropped some stuff."

"Right. You've found it? No, don't go right! I was just confirming. Straight ahead. Now turn left. Left. Straight on. Right."

She dodged past Moonstar, flashing her a smile and continued to hurry to the War Room.

"Now up. See the lift shaft? Good. You want to climb three floors. He's in the eighth room on the right. Until you've found him, maintain radio silence."

She heard him chuckle as he turned his comm off. Ducking under a big tray being manoeuvred by Eloise, she smiled softly.

"_Salut Eloise._"

"_Salut Tora._"

It wasn't much but it was confirmation. Eloise was fine. Tora was fine. But Tora didn't feel fine. Something terrible was going to happen. Something was going to happen to her people. But what? And which people?

* * *

><p>They winced. Death didn't but the other two did.<p>

"Look, you did sort it all out in the end."

"We lost so many…"

"Oh stop it!"

* * *

><p>She sat quietly, listening to the discussions.<p>

"Wanda trusts me Scott. Wouldn't it be better to send one person who Wanda trusts and calm her down like that? I can heal her mind. I know I can. Sending in the X-Men would be tempting fate."

"Tora, Wanda is dangerous."

"If you go, I-"

"Tora?"

"If you go, something terrible will happen."

"How do you know?"

"That's the thing! I don't know. It's just…a gut feeling."

"Tora, we can't trust a gut feeling."

"Fine then! It's a warning! Dragon is screaming and screaming in my head, getting louder and louder each time you make a decision that is going to lead to you attacking Wanda!"

"Tora, you aren't on active duty. You can go now."

She glared at him then stood up and marched to the door. She turned and pointed a finger at him.

"Whatever happens next in on your shoulders Summers. For good or bad. You are responsible. I warned you. I warned you all. I am not responsible for what happens next. And I will not be damage control."

She snarled and marched out, leaving the room in silence. Logan opened his mouth but Scott silenced him with a raised hand.

"We vote. Those in favour of going to Genosha to meet with the Avengers, raise their hands."

Gradually, one by one, the X-Men raised their hands. And Dragon screamed louder and louder.

* * *

><p>In the water, Logan finally raised his hand slowly. The masked woman turned her face away in disgust.<p>

"Fools…"

* * *

><p>White light. Burning, breaking… Tora reached for Jamie and Eva, called for Curt… But they weren't there. She watched as the mansion broke away around her, as the sky blanked over. THE FOOLS! And then she was no more.<p>

* * *

><p>No words could or would be spoken. Each person was brooding in their own way. Each being thinking of the losses sustained.<p> 


	98. Maison de Marie

**Memories**

Maison de Marie

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She breathed in and out, gazing out over the skyline. The nightmares were back, and worse. She pressed her hand to the window.

"I thought I'd find you here."

"Why are you bothering me…Eva?"

They spoke in English, to deter eavesdroppers. Eva went to stand beside her.

"Paris is beautiful."

"That it is."

"You're brooding Marie. You have to stop."

"Did you hear about it?"

"What?"

"Etana Rogers died last night."

"What…? She was old though. I mean, of course she was going to die at **some** point."

"She was frozen at thirty, as you well know and I think it is highly suspicious she died three hours after she agreed to meet with me. And the cause of death was given as a stroke."

"You think Magnus organized it?"

"I don't think. I **know** Magnus killed her."

"Why?"

"Etana Rogers trusts very few people. Every meeting place must be scouted out. But she trusts Magneto. He murdered her and I am partially responsible."

"Marie, you have to stop blaming yourself. You should get some sleep. I know you haven't been sleeping for the last few days."

"Everything's spiralling out of control Eva. I can't control all this."

"Look, you're the French President. Give yourself some time off or something."

"I can't. Not with the summit coming up. Did you hear about the assassin Magneto sent after me last week?"

"Yes. I must say, putting his mind in a **tomato**?"

"It was the first thing I could get my hands on. I think Jacques ate it… At any rate, I sent a tomato to Magneto."

"Get back to bed Marie."

She sighed and turned away.

"Tell Eloise I want to meet her tomorrow."

"Of course."

"Eva, you do know I'd be lost without you?"

"Yep."

They hugged and Marie walked down the hall.

"You know… I might just go to Genosha this year…"

"Bad idea Marie. You know Magnus hates you."

"I wonder why?"

"Maybe it's the fact you threw him out of France, stole his helmet and placed a power dampener on him until he listened to you has something to do with it."

"Well, maybe."

"Or was it the fact you turned France into a haven of equality."

"If we downtread the humans, then we're no better than them."

"Take a peace offering then."

"Do you think he'd like his helmet back?"

"Marie… You're about to plan a calculated insult aren't you?"

She span around and gave her a huge grin, her golden eyes sparkling with excitement.

"Finally! Something I can do that's a little **dangerous**!"

* * *

><p>"You'd have never thought she'd be a politician."<p>

"It was out a need to protect that caused that to happen. She didn't ask for it."

* * *

><p>The conversation was <strong>strictly<strong> off record. She leant forward to her two co-conspirators.

"Ororo. T'Challa. Magnus has gone too far this time. He tried to have all three of us assassinated within the space of an hour. He also sent an assassin to Britain, after Brian."

"What happened?"

"He never got there. My…associate Wolf saw to that."

Eva glanced up from her corner. She shouldn't really be there but they had soon realised she was the only one who could control an "over-excited" Marie.

"Marie, I assume everything is ready?"

"_Une momente._ I'll check with the others…"

She faltered then screamed. Eva was instantly at her side.

"_Ma amie_, what is wrong?"

"They've gone… There's no one there! I'm alone! I'm alone!"

Her claws were out and she screamed again. Gouges were ripped out of the table.

"Marie! Marie, are you alright?"

She grabbed at Eva, trying to steady herself.

"They've gone! They've all gone!"

"Who Marie? Who?"

"The link. The chain is broken. The others have gone! I'm alone!"

And then realisation dawned. The thing they were relying on –Marie's ability to see between universes –had gone. She'd lost her power.

* * *

><p>"Stupid reality warps."<p>

"They always hurt her mind. Any of the others would instantly notice the change so the warper had to mess around with her mind."

* * *

><p>The Red Guard shifted as they waited for their leader to leave Shaw's office. He'd been in there for over an hour. That meant their target would be a difficult one. When Mystique left, Rogue was the only one to dare ask the questions.<p>

"How many bodyguards?"

"None."

"Where?"

"Genosha."

"Will it be difficult?"

"£&$ yeah."

"Who is it?"

"Marie Circen."

They exchanged glances. She never came within a hundred miles of Genosha if she could help herself.

"Why'll she be on Genosha?"

"She's agreed to come to the talks this year."

"Surely Circen wouldn't be so **stupid**…?"

"No Drew. The question should be 'What's she planning?'"

"Planning…?"

"Circen is a military genius. She goes deep into enemy territory? She's got a plan."

"You don't know that…"

"She spends her entire life avoiding Genosha then suddenly decides to go to peace talks, right after she sent Nord home in a vegetable?"

"It was a fruit."

"What?"

"A tomato is actually a fruit. It's a common mistake."

"Just shut up."

* * *

><p>"Typical. She goes into an alternate reality and instantly someone tries to assassinate her."<p>

"Well, she did like stirring things up."


	99. Decimation

**Memories**

Decimation

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"That's the woman who defeated Magneto?"

She didn't look like much. Just a slight woman dwarfed by her companion. She had a slight frown on her face as she listened to the woman.

"Who's her companion?"

"Eva De Souza, her personal aide. They have a very close history together."

"You mean Project Eden?"

"Yeah. Unfortunately, all data on Eden was wiped courtesy of our mark down there. We know she's a mutant but what she can do is anyone's guess."

"Why are she here?"

"Circen won't go anywhere without her. Eden's the only person who can stop Circen from killing people when she goes crazy."

"And that's bad, right?"

Raven blinked.

"I was there when she lead the Revolution. Every mutant opponent I met had the French flag painted on their face. The red third was in her own blood."

"I thought that was just a legend!"

"Nah. She knows how to inspire loyalty in her followers. She cut her own arm and painted the flag onto her own face and told those who wished to fight to be marked. She stayed on the front line the whole time. I saw her kill who knows how many people. She's not just dangerous. She's lethal."

Once again they looked down at the slight red-head who was now shaking her head furiously at whatever her aide had said. Could that small frame be as dangerous as Wolverine, if not more? Suddenly the mark got up and walked over to Magneto. She stared him right in the eye and opened her mouth.

"Quick! Get the bug up!"

"Magnus." No trace of an accent. Flawless English.

"Marie. What brings you here after all these years?"

"A hope for peace. I apologize for not bowing, but as head of a Republic that executed their monarchy…"

"I understand. How may I help you this evening?"

"I bring you a gift. Something I took from you many years ago. I apologize but I had some trouble getting it and I wasn't able to have it cleaned. My fellow countrymen were a little…**overenthusiastic**… in their patriotism."

She handed him a box that De Souza placed in her hands. Magnus raised an eye and opened it, using his power to raise the trademark helmet to eye level. Even from their vantage point, the Red Guard could see it had been thirded into red, white and blue. The Tricolore. Raven winced.

"Ouch!"

"Why? What's that about?"

"**That** is a highly calculated insult. She gives Magnus back the helmet she took from him when she beat him, and it has been defaced with the French colours. It's her way of saying she's still more powerful than him."

"Does she do that deliberately?"

"You bet."

Raven stopped. Their mark now standing apart from the rest of the party.

"Now?"

"Now."

The gun was set into position. It would be such a tragedy, that such an inspirational woman was killed by members of the Human Resistance on Genosha right in the heart of the celebrations. They already had eyewitnesses prepared to swear under oath that she leapt in front of Magnus to protect him, expecting her healing to keep her safe. An act of selfless sacrifice.

But as the shot rang out, the black haired woman ran towards the already turning premier and pushed her out of the path of the bullet, staggering backwards as blood splurted over the black dress. She fell backwards and Marie Circen screamed. Then roared an animal roar. Claws now out, she moved so fast no gun could train on her and then she was behind Magnus's throne, claws held under his throat. Then she slumped forward and stepped away, walking over to the body on the ground, where she knelt down. A long, low moan, an animalistic cry of pain, a lament slid from between her lips. She cradled the head then closed the eyes before standing up. Turned. And walked out.

The Red Guard weren't entirely sure what had happened. They'd just let a target walk away. Why? Why couldn't they shoot the woman called Marie Circen?

* * *

><p>"Eva De Souza was a very important person, you know that?"<p>

"How? She died before her fourteenth birthday."

"She turned Marie Circen into Dragon. She deserved the tribute given to her."

They nodded as the statue flickered into view on the water. A swirl piece of water, shaped into a girl who stood as she had never been able to in life. Proud, free and strong.

* * *

><p>She collapsed after she had run non-stop for over two miles. Tears of pain and anger ran down her face. She shouldn't have come. Shouldn't have insulted Magnus. But she had. And now her best friend was dead and she was responsible. Eva would never worry about her again, never hustle her into a vital meeting Marie would much rather miss. Marie looked up. A teenage girl was standing in front of her.<p>

"My name's Layla Muller. I know stuff."

She stepped towards the girl who grinned.

"Cage said if we had any chance of surviving, we'd need you on our side."

A hand reached out and suddenly the others were there. And she realised what had happened and shuddered. Then looked the Miller girl in the eyes.

"_Merci beaucoup Mademoiselle Miller_. Now take me to Luke."

Silver light slid around her fingers and her pupils became coiled dragons.

"Right away Ms Dragon."

The woman who now knew herself to be Tora Logan smiled and followed the girl. This was going to be good…

* * *

><p>Death smiled.<p>

"It didn't take much to persuade her."

"Of course not. She'd lost her children. What else would she do?"

* * *

><p>"No more mutants."<p>

And Tora screamed as she felt her body being rearranged, as Emma shielded her mind from the warping of reality, as the others screamed out in anger.

She sat up suddenly in bed of her room, displacing Jeanne who let out an indignant yowl and reached out for Logan. Who. Had. Been. On. Genosha. When… LOGAN!

She leapt up and ran to the door, barely remembering to shrug on a dressing gown, slamming open the door. Students milled in the corridors, crying out. She pushed her way through them then realised what had happened. And the Witch's words sank in. NO! She pushed her personal feelings aside and ended up whispering words of comfort into the students' ears. Then Curt came staggering up.

"Maman!"

His claws were out, the smooth bone pale and white, streaks of blood coating them, hands bleeding profusely.

"I… Maman! I'm not healing! I…I can't hear! I'm deaf! Everything's gone!"

She pulled him close to her.

"It's okay Curt… It's okay…"

"You still love me?"

She pulled her head away so he could see the tears.

"We will **always** love you, no matter **what** you are."

"Really?"

"A mother's love is unconditional Curt. Remember that. No matter what you do, I will always love you."

"Even if I kill someone?"

"I would be disappointed but I'd still love you."

"So it doesn't matter that I'm not a mutant anymore?"

She pulled him in for another hug.

"I couldn't care less if you had an X-Gene or not. All that matters is that you're alive and with me and your father. Speaking of Logan, where on Earth is he?"

Kurt burst into existence beside her.

"Tora! Logan…if…depowered…the adamantium…kill him…"

She released Curt.

"I know where he is…"

She pushed her way through the throng of students, determined to get out of the building. She got outside and ran into the woods. She reached the familiar clearing where Logan was kneeling, a picture of composure. As she walked towards him he got up and turned to face her.

"I remember. I remember it all…"

"Logan…"

"Etana was right."

"About what?"

"Some things are better left forgotten."

She stepped towards him but he backed away.

"You… Tora, I did…terrible things."

"And I have, in eighteen worlds, killed everyone. Logan, you aren't that person now."

"But I **am**!"

She reached out and touched his face.

"I saw you Logan. I saw all of you. You might not have realised it, but I knew who I was marrying, even if you didn't know what you were yourself. And I still love you. Because under all that rough, couldn't-care-less exterior, there's a good man, a man whose lost a lot but still finds it in his heart to love. That's the real you Logan. That's the man I fell in love with, almost without realising it."

He blinked at her.

"Logan, I know you. All of you. You are the man I love and I would not have you in any other way. Now come with me. Our son needs you."

"Jamie?"

"No. Curt's bleeding. It's not healing And he needs you to tell him that you love him, even though he's no longer a mutant."

"Curt's…"

"Afraid and alone and needing his father's approval. Curt wants you to love him. I know you find it hard, but just **talk** to him."

"He's… Tora, he shouldn't be like that! He's six months old! He shouldn't be…running around, asking difficult questions about girls and acting like a teenager!"

"But he is and he wants you to show him just a bit of the love you shower on Eva and Jamie. I know it's difficult. How do you think **I** feel? I can never introduce him to strangers as my son. He looks ten years younger than I do. People look at me and him and think that either I'm some sort of _putain_ who had a child before I was a teenager or that I adopted a boy out of kindness."

"Tora…"

"The most I can ever say is that Laura and Curt are my step-children. And that hurts. Laura's like a daughter to me. And Curt's my son. But I have to lie to keep to narrow social expectations."

He hugged her.

"One day, there won't have to be any more lies. I promise."

She pulled away.

"That's a lie as well Logan. Don't lie. It doesn't suit you."

"Come on. We need to speak to Curt."

She smiled weakly and he pulled her in close.

"You know, you were right. We did it all wrong."

"Am I justified in telling Scott I told you so?"

"Definitely."

She gave an odd smile.

"The mutant race is doomed isn't it?"

"Don't be so pessimistic Tora."

She closed her eyes, trusting him to guide her through the woods. Under her breath she breathed her private thoughts.

"It's not pessimism. It's the future."

* * *

><p>"Of course, as she later became fond of saying, the future is always in motion."<p>

"Good point."


	100. Little Glass of Poison

**Memories**

Little Glass of Poison

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Curt was blinking.

"Why are the others being sent away but I'm staying here?"

"Because you belong here."

"So do they!"

"I know Curt but Emma wants them to go. I'm sorry."

"They're my friends…"

"I know Curt. I know."

He noticed the tears on her face."

"Are you crying for me?"

"You and them Curt. You and them… And all the others…"

Logan stood at the door, wondering what to say. He was afraid of his son. Afraid of those eyes, one gold, the other blue, afraid of the taint of hatred in him. Afraid of the piece of himself he saw in his son. He tried not to admit it. But he looked at the boy and saw his worst aspects tempered with Tora's best. And every now and again, the shattering of his mind shone through. It hurt to see his child who acted so like Deadpool. Tora seemed to find it easy to love him but she gave her love so freely. The students she took under her wing, the injured animals she found. She seemed to find it easy to give out care and affection to those who needed it. She stood up.

"I have to go and speak to Emma. Try and dissuade her. Logan, Curt. Just…"

Her eyes told more than she said. Get to know him. Learn to love him. He's your son and he craves your approval. Give it to him. Just try. Please. For me.

She left and Logan went to take her seat. Curt fixed him with his eyes, pinning Logan down.

"Why do you hate me Dad?"

"I…I don't-"

"Don't lie to me Dad."

"I… I hate what they did to you. I hate the fact I wasn't there."

"Why?"

Logan stood up and went to stand by the window.

"Cos I'm yer Dad and I'm supposed to be there for you. And if I failed you and yer mother, what's to say I won't fail Jamie and Eva."

"When did you fail Maman?"

Logan pressed his forehead to the cold glass.

"Far too often. I let her die, I let her be kidnapped, I let her live in hell for twenty years because I was too good at what I did. I let her down each time I kill someone. I let Jamie get hurt. I wasn't there when she needed me most."

"Whoa… You really **did** let her down…"

"Curt, when someone says something like that… Never mind."

"What?"

"Look, Tora's better at the whole social rules things. She has to know them to disregard them see?"

"Maman doesn't care what anyone thinks."

"She does Curt. She cares about what **you** think."

"Me?"

"She…you weren't there. When she thought you were dead, it was like she was too. And when she knew you were alive… It's like her whole life she'd been pretending to be alive and when she knew you were there, she light up, burnt so brightly it hurt to look."

"Huh?"

"What I'm saying is, she wasn't complete until you came back."

"Really?"

"No."

Tora burst in.

"Jubilee's one of the casualties! Logan, you need to speak to her **now**!"

"Jubes… has been depowered…? No. Freaking. Way."

Curt blinked.

"I like Jubilee."

(Dad would kill you if he thought you wanted to go out with her.)

He's my **DAD**! He's going to approve of his own son going out with his partner in crime!

(Not. A. Chance.)

But we're both depowered. Maybe that'll make her notice me.

(No way Buster)

Can't you at least **pretend**.

(Nope. I'm insane but not **that** insane)

Curt sat listening to his parents arguing about what was going on. And he felt so alone.

* * *

><p>Lonely. Each of the beings closed their eyes as the loneliness threatened to overtake them. They all knew what it meant to be lonely. To be in a position above everyone else. To be alone.<p>

* * *

><p>Life was…different. There were nowhere near as many children in the school. Nowhere near as many laughs. There were dark undercurrents. Everyone knew that the mutant race was on its last legs. Curt spent a long time sitting on his bed, staring at his hands, hating the fact he still had his claws but was unable to use them. It hurt so much to snikt them out, and then when he did, his hands bled and bled. He didn't dare even test his wrist claws. Laura had spoken to him but he didn't pay much attention to her. For a short while he had been a god. He could sense every little movement, hear every little sound. Catch every tiny scent, see all the tiny details that were so important. Heal from almost any injury. And now he was mortal, a human in all but the fact he had useless bone claws in his wrists.<p>

He raised his head. And let the tears rain down.

Why? Why? Why? Why? WHY? WHY? **WHY?**

Curt had always been proud of himself. And now he was just a husk of what he used to be.

* * *

><p>"So that was why he took the Poison. To stop feeling empty."<p>

* * *

><p>"Tora, I thought I'd warn you, stay out of my lab."<p>

"Hank?"

"I've taken a sample of the Toxin symbiote, to see if the Thousandth mutation can be used to repower mutants."

"Hank, I don't think using a mutation from the symbiotes, even if it **is** Toxin, who's a pretty decent guy, will work."

"Look, just keep people out of the labs. Especially Xixy."

"Oh yes. We all know about Xixy and labs…"

Tora smiled then furrowed her brow.

"Hank, I can't watch the labs. I have other stuff I need to do."

"It's fine. I think I've told everyone."

They both hurried off their separate ways and neither saw Curt hiding in the shadows, eyes sparkling.

* * *

><p>"He just wanted to show his father he was as good as he was."<p>

"Huh?"

"Curt wanted to show Logan that Curt was as good as Logan."

"Oh…"

* * *

><p>Curt slid into the lab. Sitting on the desk was a small glass vial. Was that what Dr McCoy was so worried about? Inside it, a small series of sticky strings zoomed about.<p>

"You don't look that dangerous!"

_**You are lonely!**_

"Who said that?"

_**I did.**_

Who are you?"

_**I am…alone. Like you. Be my friend!**_

"Where are you?"

_**Right. HERE!**_

And the vial rattled. Curt reached out a hand.

"I want a friend."

_**You will never be ALONE! Just open my prison! And we can be together!**_

Curt unstoppered the bottle and the little sticky orange threads thwapped onto his hand, around his wrist, multiplying and increasing as it grew up his arm.

The string slid across his face as Curt's claws, no longer gleaming white bone but black with symbiote webbing, extended. He felt the webbing stop the bleeding. He could hear the noises! See the points! He was a god once more!

And Curt screamed in ecstasy, as he was **no longer alone**.

_**We! Are! POISON!**_

* * *

><p>The women sighed as one.<p>

"Loneliness can cause terrible things to happen."

"That it can."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N.<strong> Wow. Chapter 100. I wanted to do something special for this chapter and I hope I've managed it._


	101. Antidote

**Memories**

Antidote

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Tora knew instantly something was wrong. It wasn't a proper knowledge, just a feeling that told her to find Curt. And find him quickly. She dropped the papers and ran down the corridor, shouting his name. Hank was suddenly beside her, asking what was wrong. She shook her head, unable to squeeze the words out of the fist of dread in her throat. She ran down the corridor, shouting Curt's name over and over again, squeezing out the syllables. She skidded round the corner and froze. The lab door was wide open and Curt was standing by the table, sticky orange threads running up his arm and growing, spreading, reaching out over his face. She burst into the room as the final strands covered his face, as the mask fixed to his head.

"CURT!"

He turned his head, showing white eyes holes in a black cowl.

"I'm not alone."

"Curt… Please… No… Not now…"

He was staring at his hands, now covered in black with orange streaks leading to the points where black claws left his skin.

"I'm not alone."

She tried to tear at the webbing, wanting desperately to remove it. Curt grabbed her arm.

"No Maman! I'm **no longer alone**!"

He was looking at himself in amazement.

"He's in my head. I'm a part of him. And he's a part of me. I'm no longer alone."

"Curt, please, just take it **off**!"

The webbing slid back, revealing his real face and the look of bafflement in his eyes.

"But I'm like you again."

"Curt, I don't care that-"

"Then you shouldn't care that I'm with Poison."

Her mouth dropped open.

"Curt, you've heard of Venom and Carnage. That's what you're wearing."

"You said he's from Toxin who's 'a pretty decent guy'."

"That's because the Toxin symbiote is **insane**. Curt, you don't have to do this."

"But I **do**. I want to be like you and Dad."

"The Toxin symbiote has genetic amnesia! Curt, I know that the Decimation hurt you, but you can't do something like that to try and take the place of what you were born with!"

Hank touched her arm.

"Tora? Curt may have a point. You're allowing your own prejudices to cloud your judgement. Many depowered mutants would do anything to get their gifts back. Curt has found a way that helps him. And as this 'Poison' is genetically identical to Toxin, a compromise would work."

Tora snarled.

"I know what Logan will say!"

Curt instantly cowered. Hank pulled Tora out of the lab.

"We have **always** stood by you, even after the dubious events of Dark Dragon. Let Curt make his choice and give him the benefit of the doubt."

"Is this going to be one of your **experiments** Hank? If it is, I will hurt you in a way you could never imagine!"

He grabbed her hands and glared at her.

"I think you're being selfish Tora. Your son has found a way to be what he wants to be. Let him try at least."

She let her head drop. Hank pulled her in for a hug.

"People hate us Tora. Maybe you should be a little more tolerant of the symbiote until we know what it wants."

She closed her eyes.

"I know this will be difficult for you Tora. But Curt did this to impress you. He feels because he isn't a mutant anymore, because you and Logan are two of the more famous X-Men, he thinks that he needs to be a mutant or something like that to impress you."

"Why should he think that?"

"Ask Logan."

Tora raised her head, eyes angry.

"Don't you **dare** blame Logan for this Henry McCoy! It's you who brought the symbiote into this house."

Curt peeked out of the door. He no longer seemed covered in the webbing, instead wearing an orange t-shirt and black jeans, but Tora could smell the symbiote on him.

"Maman. Please trust me. I'm… It sounds stupid but I'm not alone anymore. I'm…whole."

She closed her eyes, took a deep breathe and then touched his face.

"It's your choice. I wouldn't ever force you to do something you wouldn't want to, except tidy your room which is a terrible mess right now."

"Er…Tora, there is the minor fact that the symbiote will need a supply of phenethylamine, which is found in the brain."

"He is **not** eating brains."

"Chocolate is also a good source."

"Oh."

Curt bounced up and down.

"Will you make those triple chocolate, chocolate chip cookies?"

Hank blinked.

"The ones that our little blue friend is so fond of?"

"Yeah! The ones with dark, white and milk chocolate chips and cocoa power mixed in with the cookie dough!"

Tora smacked her forehead.

"I should never have even **contemplated** making those stupid cookies. Now all I hear is, 'Tora, you know those cookies…' and 'Tora, one of the students is having a party and we thought your cookies would be perfect…' It drives me INSANE!"

Hank blinked.

"They were rather divine."

She slapped him and stormed off, muttering under her breath about idiots who only kept her around for her cookie-making skills. Curt tilted his head.

Maman's cookies are **great**…

(I just feel she doesn't like being treated as a cookie-dispenser.)

_**What's 'chocolate'?**_

The most important thing in the world.

* * *

><p>Phoenix laughed.<p>

"He really needed to sort his priorities out."

Her companion laughed.

"To a boy of his fractured psyche, chocolate **was** the most important thing.

* * *

><p>The hand brought the match to the cigar and raised it. Before it was halfway to the mouth, another hand reached out, nimbly removed the cigar and stubbed it out, placing it back on the table. The first hand wearily picked up the cigar, relit it and began to raise it to the owner's lips. Again, the other hand took the cigar and stubbed it out, more violently this time. This continued for a number of times, each time the lighting getting more swift, the stubbing out more violent, until finally the cigar broke under the strain. Logan sighed and stared at Tora.<p>

"Why won't you let me smoke?"

"Because I hate it. Anyway, you won't talk to me."

"About what?"

"About Curt. This whole Poison business. And your memories."

"Look, I…I don't want to talk about those."

"I told you everything about my past, even the things I was ashamed of. You can have the common decency to return the favour."

He slumped down onto the table.

"Look, not here."

"Well, talk about Curt then."

He snarled.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING! LETTING HIM JOIN WITH THAT…THAT…**THING**!"

"In case you hadn't noticed Logan, our son just wants you to approve of him!"

"He's becoming a monster Tora!"

"Then what am I?"

The words were icy and cold as she stood up.

"Curt has never killed, never lied, never done any of the things I am so ashamed of. If he is a monster, then what are we?"

She let her lips part up in a soundless snarl, showing sharp canines.

"I'm more of a monster than he is. Do you know what he asked me for after joining with Poison? Chocolate! That's all he wanted!"

"Don't give that thing a name!"

She snarled, a full-throated growl this time. They heard Ororo hammering on the door, demanding to know what was going on, Jeanne screaming outside, begging to be let in, Kurt asking if he should teleport in, Curt stuffing his face with cookies. Logan snarled in response and they heard even more people come running. Tora raised her voice.

"Look! Just…go! We need to sort this out on our own!"

Scott seemed annoyed.

"Look, get out of there, Tora!"

She snarled.

"You should know better than to interrupt a marital spat Scott! Let it run its course! That's where you and Jean went wrong!"

There was a sharp intake of breath then Scott's voice, low and angry.

"That was below the belt Tora. Fine! Let him kill you in there for all we care!"

"JUST GO!"

There was the noise of people marching off then she returned her glare to Logan.

"You were saying?"

They'd never argued like this, never ended up standing at opposite ends of their room screaming at each other so loud everyone else could hear them. All arguments were conducted in quiet voices, away from everyone else. But this was different. This time, they weren't backing down, were squaring up, were letting their animals gain control.

"Why did you let our kid do that?"

"So I'm the one responsible? How about **you** Logan? You never gave him any of the affection you shower on Jamie and Eva. Even Laura gets more attention! All he wants is for you to notice him! One word of praise from you is like a sea of compliments from everyone else! He loves you Logan! Why can't you love him back?"

He was suddenly right in front of her, aggressive and wild-looking, eyes burning coldly.

"Everyone I love dies! Everyone! Silver-Fox, Itsu, Rose, **YOU**! I'm not going to let him be another sacrifice!"

"So you're willing to stay with Jamie, Eva, Laura, Kitty and Jubilee!"

"Jamie, Eva and Laura can heal! Kitty's darn near untouchable! And Jubilee… she's… She used to be dangerous!"

"Is it because he isn't a mutant anymore? Is that it? I never thought you'd be so **shallow**!"

Logan's hand flew to her throat, fingers reaching around her neck. Her eyes flashed silver.

"Do it."

And the hand fell away as Logan gasped for breath.

"What was I…? Oh hell… Tora…I…I…"

Her eyes softened and she caught his shaking hand. Her mouth leant forward to his ear.

"I knew you wouldn't."

"Really? Tora, I could have hurt you…"

"You've never hurt me physically before."

"Physically? Tora… when?"

"When I thought you loved Jean."

"How?"

"It was like a part of me was burning up from the inside and I just wanted to tear her to shreds. Rather primitive I know but…"

He frowned.

"You got…possessive?"

"Says the man who has been known to start fights with people who look at me for over three seconds."

"I only did that once."

"Most people would say that once was one time too many."

"Are we still arguing?"

"I don't **think** so."

"Good. Can we make up now?"

She rolled her eyes.

"Single track mind you."

He shrugged and grinned.

"Well…"

Downstairs, Hank sat with Curt, monitoring his cookie intake and watching as every now and again, the symbiote ate the cookie rather than Curt. The shouting upstairs had stopped. Curt blinked at Hank.

"Have they stopped fighting?"

"Well, they'll either be killing each other or making up and," he sniffed the air, "Yes, they're making up."

"How do you know?"

"Has your father given you the Talk yet?"

"What talk?"

"Obviously not. Ask him about it at some point."

"What talk?"

"Tell me when you ask him. I want to see the look on his face."

"What talk?"

"The Talk. Never mind."

"What talk?"

"Look, just finish the cookies."

"OK!"

The boy returned his attention to the plate of cookies and stuffed them all into his mouth at once.

"Wawan wakes williant wookies!"

"Don't talk with your mouth full."

The response was automatic, the result of being the oldest of the five original X-Men, the big brother, the one who watched out for all the others. Curt swallowed and blinked.

"Why?"

"It's rude."

"Why?"

"Because it makes it impossible for people to understand."

"Why?"

"Because!"

"Oh…"

Curt opened his mouth again and Hank resigned himself to having a hour or so of difficult questions.

* * *

><p>"A teenager with a child's ability to ask questions."<p>

"The most dangerous word of all is 'why?' It causes so many problems."

"Tell me about it."

"Why do people hate mutants?"

"Why did you run away from me?"

"Why did you cheat on me with Emma?"

"Okay, okay, let's stop the questions."


	102. Past Crimes

**Memories**

Past Crimes

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Tora touched Logan's shoulder, causing him to start.

"Tell me."

"Tell ya what?"

"Everything."

He stiffened and tugged the quilt over his head.

"Ain't telling you anything."

Her hand moved down between his shoulder blades.

"Relax. You're stiffer than a corpse."

He wouldn't and she resorted to gently massaging the muscles around his shoulder blades. He curled his lips back to snarl but she rested her head on his back.

"I know you don't want to tell me, but maybe it will help you feel better. Sometimes lancing the blister is the only way to make it better."

"Then the wound can become infected."

"I think we're taking this metaphor a little too far now."

He sat up, letting the quilt slide off his chest. She snatched it up, pulling it to her, straightening up as well. The moonlight shone in through the window, causing her hair to appear pale and silvery.

"Logan, tell me."

He shifted then got up, walking to the window. Then turned.

"I was born James Howlett, in Alberta, over a century ago. I was…a child of privilege. Don't **ever** tell One-Eye that! Had a companion and a governess-cum-nanny and everything. I was a…sickly kid. All sorts of allergies. Again, don't tell Slim! Then I was about twelve and…my dad was murdered right in front of my eyes."

She got up and walked over to him, holding out her arms. He shook his head and stepped away.

"Logan…"

"I…ended up killing the man who shot…Papa. I scarred his son as well. Dog Logan was the same age as I was. That was when these," the claws snikted out, "first got used."

"Logan?"

"Yeah. My mother threw me out and committed suicide. Rose, my companion, got us out of Alberta, where we were wanted for murder. Got framed see? Ended up in a mining village. We pretended to be cousins. Stayed for…five years. I was Logan then. Best to hide my name. Thing is, the mine boss wanted to marry Rose…and I…"

"You loved her as well?"

"How the-"

"Etana."

"Oh. Well… Rose wanted to marry Smitty, and I wasn't going to let her be unhappy. Let Smitty beat me in a cage fight so he'd have enough money to leave. But… Dog came back. I… I beat him and was going to kill him. Rose got between us. She died. I ran. Etana found me running with wolves, taught me how to fight. I left her, continued to live wild. Went to another mining town, ended up getting involved with a Blackfoot. Silver-Fox. She was murdered. Ended up joining the Army in the First World War. My girlfriend was killed. Again. Went to Madripoor, started using the Patch persona. During that time…someone was manipulating me. Turning me into this. World War Two started, I met Cap, Nick and Natasha. Joined the paratroopers, got to know Cap better. Managed to get captured. Twice. Was at Hiroshima when the bomb went off. Atsuko, a…friend…died. I met a man named Ogun…"

"Wasn't he the one who-"

"Look, do you want me to tell this story or not?"

"Sorry. Go ahead."

"Ogun…helped get me back on track. We fought, he asked who had taught me, I said Etana and wham! He offered me a place as a student. I stayed with him and he sent me to a village. I met a woman there…"

He blushed as if he felt it would be tactless to continue. Tora touched his hands and tilted her head, nodding slightly.

"We got married. Were going to have a kid. But… I had to fight in hand-to-hand combat and accidentally stabbed someone. Ended up having to leave her. Went back to say goodbye and…Itsu had been murdered. Horribly. I went mad. Did a deal with a demon. Ran and got picked up by some secret service thing. I…I ended up tormenting this kid, just cos I was told to. Carved the stars and stripes right into his face during Vietnam. Was sent by the CIA, joined Team X. Turns out Silver-Fox wasn't dead, but she betrayed us all to HYDRA. During that time, they messed with my memories. Later, I was kidnapped, taken to Weapon X. They…made me kill people, just to prove I could. I escaped. Killed everyone in the facility…"

"The Weapon X massacre. Yeah I've heard of it."

"Ran wild for years. Mac and Heather found me. I got back my humanity. But not my memories. Ended up working for Department H, fought the Hulk, joined the X-Men and the rest is history."

She touched his face.

"You hate yourself, don't you?"

"Do you know how many people I've killed?"

"Maybe you've forgotten. At least you didn't 'play' with your prey. Like I did."

"You never told me about that."

She gulped then nodded.

"You told me. So it's only fair… It was a guard who used to like hurting me. He used to beat me when I was just a kid. I think he liked having something to take his anger out on, especially someone who wouldn't fight back. But one day I did. Just cut through my chains and slashed at him. Tore his chest to shreds. Bit, scratched, clawed. No one dared come near me. I cut at his tendons. Hamstrung him. Did the same to his arms. Dabbed his blood on his face, asked him if he wanted to hit me again. Asked if he'd had a bad day and wanted to take it out on me. Asked if his wife had thrown him out again. Cut a paragraph from my lessons into his back. By then he was pleading. Just kill me, please just kill me. And I spat in his face and called him a coward. How often had **I** begged him for mercy, begged him to just kill **me**? How often had he complied? I swear I would have tortured him for another hour at least. But they sent in a load of guards, beat me to unconsciousness. When I woke up, I was strapped down and they burned me over and over again. You saw the brand."

He nodded.

"Why did you keep the scars when you brought yourself back?"

She shrugged, the loose top she was wearing slipping over her shoulder.

"They're a part of me. Each one reminds me of what I am. An animal," she touched her leg and the brand, "Not a murderer," The edge of the back scar, "A human being who bleeds." The slender lines on her lower arms and wrists.

"Each scar has meaning and it reminds me I'm not invincible. I bleed, as does everyone else. I cannot, will not kill. And I have an animal I must keep in check at all times, to protect those I care about. Open the window will you? Jeanne will want to come in soon."

"Why do we have to have that cat on our bed?"

"I like having a cat with me."

"Yeah, but I feel…embarrassed when she's there."

Tora rolled her eyes.

"Logan, we are the same person. What I see, she sees."

"Yeah but…it's just the eyes. Watching us."

"Look, she can go into the bathroom every time you get embarrassed. How will that do?"

He shrugged.

"Is anyone going to ask me my opinion on this?"

Jeanne slipped in through the window and rubbed her head against Logan's legs.

"She didn't mention she cuts our bond every time you get up close and personal. She's selfish like that."

Logan raised an eyebrow.

"So you lied?"

She shrugged, doing a perfect imitation of him earlier.

"Like I said, I'm possessive."

* * *

><p>"Possessive was one way to say that."<p>

"Yes well, it's a single word description of it."

* * *

><p>Logan seemed slightly shell-shocked as he sat down in the rec-room. Hank blinked.<p>

"What is wrong my fine friend?"

It took a while for the words to get out, as he spluttered slightly.

"Curt…asked me…about…the Talk…"

Scott snorted into his glass on the other side of the room.

"**That** is one of the reasons I am eternally grateful that Nathan was sent into the future."

"He's **four months old** for cryin' out loud! He shouldn't be asking stuff like that!"

"He may be only a four-month old, but he has the body of an adolescent boy. He needs to know about stuff like that."

"Did you hear the screaming?"

"Was that Curt?"

"Yes it was. The first time was when I explained it to him. The second scream was when he realised that, well, for him to be born…"

"He freaked out over that? Then what were the rest of the screams about?"

"When he realised that it wasn't just done for reproductive reasons."

"Where is he?"

"Clinging to the light fitting, with Tora trying to coax him down. Unfortunately, he keeps webbing up the cookies."

There was suddenly a thump.

"I think he's just fallen off the ceiling."

The screaming started up again, words like 'you and Dad', 'YUCK!' and 'HELP!' filtering down. Logan moaned, got up and walked out. The people in the room waited until he was far enough away, then burst out laughing.

* * *

><p>Phoenix and Death both started giggling. Their companion sniggered, tried to stop herself and ended up laughing louder than any of the others.<p> 


	103. Warning

**Memories**

Warning

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Curt stood in the middle of the Danger Room, eyes bright. His black jeans and orange t-shirt writhed until they became an orange and black suit, covering his face. He saw his parents standing above him, looking worried. Cyclops' voice ran out over the speakers.

"Beast suggested this would be a good way to help you deal with the loss of your mutation. We're putting it on the easy level."

He nodded, excited, wanting to start. The first of the enemies faded into existence and Curt instantly felt the part of him that was Poison take control.

_**Let's go!**_

I agree!

(Try not to get yourself killed.)

Curt leapt up, his feet instantly sticking to the wall. He dropped to all fours and crawled up to the ceiling. When he reached the top, he reached out a hand and thwapped a piece of symbiote webbing to the centre of the ceiling before swinging out over the floor, sending out a claw from his foot and successfully beheading the first robot. He flicked in the air and landed on the ceiling, legs and arms splayed out behind him. He reached out with his left hand and sent out a piece of black webbing, that caught another robot and allowed him to pull it up to his level before stabbing it with his wrist claw. He laughed, exhilarated. He was a god again!

_**This is FUN! Can we do this again?**_

Oh, yes PLEASE!

(Ask the dude up there with the silly glasses.)

Curt twisted, turning over so he could see Cyclops through the glass.

"Can I-"

A shot hit him on the back and he started to fall. Instantly he twisted, sent out a line and swung up, landing on the wall and continuing to run before using his momentum to launch off the wall and slam right into the robot who had shot him. He laughed and Poison laughed as well. Leaping into the air, he backflipped before slamming feet-first into the final robot and causing it to fall to the ground sparking. He jumped and gave a cry of triumph. The door slid open and Tora marched in, looking mad.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"

"What?"

"DOING THOSE STUPID SHOW-OFF ACROBATICS, JUST TO SHOW THAT YOU COULD! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN HURT!"

"I wasn't Maman. I wasn't. Look."

He turned and showed the scorched symbiote which had thickened to prevent the laser from hitting his back. Tora wheeled him round and hugged him.

"Don't you **dare** scare me like that again!"

The suit squirmed and became normal clothes again as Curt hugged his mother back.

"I'll try not to."

She smiled and pressed her chin to his head.

"You stay safe, understand?"

He shrugged and Logan came in as well.

"You been having lessons with Spidey kid?"

"No."

Tora grinned.

"Remember? Symbiotes have a genetic memory. Poison's memory may be faulty, but Venom spent a long time joined with Spider-Man. So of course Curt is going to remember how to fight as Peter fights."

"Oh…"

"You haven't read Hank's notes of symbiotes have you?"

"No."

"Read them. It's very interesting."

"Can I have more cookies?"

Tora raised her eyes and counted silently to ten.

"There aren't any left. Go and raid Gambit's bitter chocolate stash. It's in the third cupboard on the left, top shelf, behind the spices."

Logan blinked.

"Is that the one in the black and gold wrapper?"

"Did you…? You ate it, didn't you?"

"I was hungry!"

"Remy will kill you."

"It's just chocolate!"

"It's **Remy's** chocolate."

* * *

><p>"How did Remy get that chocolate? It was the best ever."<p>

"How do you **think** he got it?"

"You think he stole it?"

"He was a thief Jean. Of course he stole it."

* * *

><p><em>The figure screamed into the night but the wind caught her cry and flung it back at her. She screamed again, just to have the satisfaction of hearing it swept away. She screamed again and again until there was no more air in her to scream. She stepped forward and looked down at the rocks below. So…tempting. The promise of no more hurt and grief. No more pain. No more…loss. She closed her eyes and stepped forward into the oblivion…<em>

Tora started upwards, gasping for breath. The dream had been so…**clear**. There had been the sense of loss, of suffering. Of all-encompassing **emptiness**. She wondered what the dream was about. And what it signified. It could simply be a representation of her fears of what **could** have happened and she saw so clearly but she didn't think it was that. It could be the guilt over losing Eva for a second time. But she'd never associated Eva with the sea, or cliffs. Eva was the snowy woods near the base of a mountain. The place where she had last seen Eva alive. She didn't count that room where everything stank of blood and gore. She remembered her, as she had appeared then, resolute, determined to be free. And now she had an adult Eva to see, a face to place to her. A dark, soft face, full of care and kindness. Wildly curly black hair, which had been cropped short when Tora had known her. Bright blue eyes that sparkled and danced with the joy of freedom. Eva had been so different from how she had been when they'd been Xii and Eden. Tora bowed her head and bit her lip to prevent the tears from coming. So it hadn't been Eva or the alternate realities. So what was it? Dragon stirred and Tora frowned.

_Is this some sort of warning?_

_It is a message from yourself._

_About what exactly?"_

_That is for you to work out._

_Oh, **brilliant**._

_Less sarcasm please. If it were anyone **but** you, they would have crumbled to dust by now._

_Yawn!_

She sensed rather than saw Dragon's annoyance and fondness, rolled into one little package. Dragon seemed to see her as a little sister, to be pandered to and cared for. What Dragon **didn't** seem to realise was that **this** little sister had claws and the know-how to use them to lethal effect if required. She got up and shrugged on a loose cotton robe, knowing that at this hour, she could rely on one person to be willing to talk.

She hurried along the corridors and stopped outside one door. Closing her eyes, she let the shields around her mind drop and shouted out the name in her head. There was a low moan then Emma opened the door.

"Are you alright?"

"No. I…I want to talk. You're the only one I trust with this."

The look on Emma's face was worth the pain she was going to go through. Since Jean's death a year ago, people had treated her with distrust and hatred. Tora knew of hatred and wasn't going to feed it. The sight of one of Jean's closest friends acting friendly towards Emma lead to mutters but Tora couldn't care less. Emma smiled slightly.

"You knew I hadn't been sleeping."

"Yes."

"I keep seeing their faces… I let them **die** Tora! I killed my students. Again…"

"It's not your fault Emma. It's the fault of those who attacked the children who were not a threat to them any longer. They are the murderers."

"You needed me to scan you?"

"Yes. There's a dream I had and it's…different. Like a memory but I've never been to that place. Or did what I…what I do."

"Show me."

Tora closed her eyes and let Emma press her hands to either side of her head.

"Concentrate on what you want to show me."

Tora thought back to the dream and the terrible sense of loss that came with it. It played out again and Emma gasped and released Tora's head.

"Oh my…"

"What?"

"There were…undercurrents. You couldn't sense them but I could."

"Tell me."

"Not him as well. Not after Jean and Kurt and 'Ro and Emma and Bobby and Scott and Piotr and Kitty and Rogue and Remy and…and… Jamie."

Tora staggered backwards.

"Jamie…"

"But…there are other messages there. We must not let conflict tear us apart. We will fight ourselves, man to man. Utopia will rise. The darkness will come. Fear the Serpent. United we will survive. We must stand together. When all is lost, Dragon rise higher than ever before. Utopia will be made of angels wings, phoenix fire, ice heart, beast thought and whirlpool's eye."

"What?"

"That's what I'm getting. It's a mess. It's like someone tried to send you a message but it was cryptic to begin with and got garbled on the way. Then somehow, we can't, **haven't** got the knowledge to decipher the code. I'm sorry."

Tora shook her head.

"I…I **almost** understand…"

"You should. The psychic signature is yours."

"What!"

"That was a warning from **yourself**. Sometime in the future."

"How?"

"I don't know Tora. I don't know."

The two women sat in the chairs, staring at each other for a long time before silently getting up and returning to their respective rooms.

* * *

><p>"Typical. She can't even decipher a simple little code like that."<p>

"To be fair, we do know what happened next. She didn't."

"Oh. Yeah."


	104. Names

**Memories**

Names

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She closed her eyes. Curt had been changed two weeks ago. The Decimation of the mutant population had been four months ago. Things were spiralling and she knew it. And there was…unrest. One of Spider-Man's villains, the one with the stupid mask, had led a mass breakout months ago and everyone was stretched thin trying to capture forty-two of the most dangerous villains in the world who had escaped, as well as all the ones still at large. She had a headache, Fury had been fired and was on the run for something he'd done a year or so ago and hushed up, the two hundred or so remaining mutants were gathering in the makeshift camp outside the mansion and Curt had got worse than ever. An insane boy and an insane symbiote together caused more trouble than Jubilee and Bobby on one of their 'super-pranks'. What made matters worse was the fact he was the only de-powered mutant who had been allowed to stay. He was a human in a camp of mutants, a monster in a crowd of freaks.

She opened her eyes and stared out of the window. Curt and Xixy were playing a game that **looked** like catch, but knowing those two was probably more like Murder. Sometimes she wondered… Xixy acted more like a father to Curt than Logan did. Heaven knew what those two did in their spare time. Xixy had explained it to her. He was the bond-father.

In K'Meeri culture, a warrior close to the spawners of the new being was given the duty of culturally raising the K'Meer child. K'Meer were asexual and reproduced by 'melding' parts of their goo together to create a new being. Any number of K'Meer could be involved in the birth of a new one. The most 'pure' were those created like Xixy, a simple spore off a single parent. Most heirs were created that way. The bond-father's was chosen by the parent K'Meeri and it was his duty to teach the new K'Meer the arts of warfare and K'Meeri honour codes. Tora couldn't complain, especially as she'd studied the stuff Xixy was teaching Curt and hadn't found too much to be annoyed with, other than the basic idea that war was a good idea. She'd managed to persuade Xixy not to include that into Curt's lessons. But the self-defence and honour codes were basically a good idea.

She wasn't certain why Xixy had insisted on giving Curt a K'Meeri name though. But then, Xixy had officially adopted them all into his bond-family and actually, they did all have K'Meeri names. It was just Curt was the only one to respond to his. To be fair, the fact the names were rather difficult to remember and only Tora could be bothered to remember hers and everyone else's counted probably for something. Her name ended up meaning Human-Great-Dragon-God-Who-Is-Our-Salvation. Curt's was something along the lines of Noble-Warrior-Who-Is-To-Be-Great-In-The-Eyes-Of-Dragon. The official name was Xixswaldraster. Xix apparently meant 'Noble' and Swal meant 'Warrior'. Dra was the more common version of 'Dragon', similar to the Hebrew '_Adonai_'. Ster was equivalent to 'Great' but when placed with Dra gave 'Great in the Eyes of the Dragon'. Her K'Meeri name used the holy version of Dragon, something that meant Xixy had been in a lot of trouble for bestowing it upon her. The Star at the end of Xixswalstar meant 'Prince', causing Xixy's whole name to mean 'Noble Warrior Prince'. When he became Emperor, the Star would change to Mer, which meant King. He had also told Tora that if he never melded or spored, then Curt, as his first bond-son, would become Emperor of the K'Meer Empire. The Xixswal in Curt's name showed that he was Xixy's bond-son. Tora's response had been short and sweet.

"Meld, spore, I don't care. Just make sure you don't take Curt away from us to be an Emperor."

Xixy had laughed and made a joke about the fact the K'Meer Empire would flourish under the hands of Dragon's son, at which point Tora had rolled her eyes.

She started as someone came up behind her.

"I do love him you know. In my own way."

She turned and nodded at Logan.

"I know you do. It's just he can't see it."

"Xixy's good for him."

"Really Malswaldraster?"

"What?"

"Wild-Warrior-Dragon's-Consort. It's your K'meer name."

"Is it? What's yours again?"

"Drasturamara. Mar means 'Human' and the A denotes gender. Drastura is the holy name of Dragon. Pretty much, Human Dragon. Or Dragon in Human Flesh."

"Really? How do you remember all this?"

"Easy. I pay attention."

"Slim's?"

"Makswalbelror. Leader-Warrior-Eagle-Sight. Well, I **say** Eagle, but really it's a M'Keeri animal that is similar to an eagle."

"Elf?"

"Valswaltavber. Kind-Warrior-Fast-Leap. Fast Leap is their word for teleporter."

"'Ro?"

"Mekveramara. Weather-Goddess-In-Human-Form. Mekvero is their weather god. So Storm is Mekvero in Human Flesh. But Mekvero is their common name for him. If it was an avatar then the name would be Misteramara Or Misteromaro."

"O means male?"

"Yes. Odd isn't it? The K'Meer are asexual yet they still have male and female gods. That suggests at one point they were, well… like us, the Shi'ar, the Skrulls and pretty much every alien race apart from the symbiotes. I wonder if they're related somehow? After all, K'Meer are the only race the symbiotes can't actually use as hosts."

"Tora…"

"What?"

"Why aren't you a scientist? I can just see you sitting in a lab like Hank, getting all excited over some discovery."

"No. I haven't got the training. You were asking about names?"

"Oh, yeah. Emma?"

"Barstmanara. White-Empress-Thought-Singer."

"Er…Rogue?"

"Nesswalbertasa. Lonely-Warrior-Proud-Hearted."

"Gumbo?"

"Mashternoswalber. Flirty-Cheating-Warrior-Thief. Xixy was annoyed with Remy when he named him."

"Can I tease him about that?"

"If you want to."

"Er… um…Petey?"

"Steswalvaltaso. Steel-Warrior-Kind-Heart."

"That's a good name for him. Why's my name Wild-Warrios-Dragon's-Consort? Is that my main redeeming feature?"

"To the K'Meer, yes. To me, no."

"Aren't you their god or something?"

"I'm not a god."

"You're the next best thing."

"What's that?"

"Someone who cares."

She smiled and looked out at Xixy and Curt, who were now shooting the ball.

"Thank you."

* * *

><p>"K'Meeri names were so <strong>complicated<strong>."

"They gave the truth of their personality. Or in most cases they did."

"I doubt Tora liked being called Human-Dragon."

"She didn't."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Lots of stuff on the K'Meer. I thought, if I created an alien race, I might as well flesh them out a bit with culture, naming conventions and so on._


	105. Flickbook

**Memories**

Flickbook

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

_She was so **tired**. Yet she couldn't sleep. It felt like someone had stuffed her head with fog. Memories, once so easy to come by, were now dancing on the edge of her grasp. She coughed and felt someone place water to her lips. She drank greedily but it couldn't wash the metallic feel in her mouth away. Her hands twitched and she felt Logan catch them._

"_I'm sorry darlin'."_

_She coughed again and heard him choke on his tears._

"_Why? You shouldn't die like this. You can't!"_

_She tried to speak but it felt like her tongue was coated in metal. All that came out was a low groan. She heard footsteps._

"_Logan, I'm sorry. We can't do anything for her. To remove the adamantium would be to kill her. Her skeleton can't cope."_

"_But it's killing her anyway."_

"_Both ways of dying will be slow and painful. I'm sorry Logan. This is why we were so worried when the Decimation happened. We never thought that Tora would be depowered. She was so busy searching for you, that it never occurred to us that she might be a casualty. The first thing we knew was when she collapsed. She's going to die."_

"_She can't… She **can't**…"_

"_I'm sorry Logan. But she can."_

"_I wanna kill that %$&*!# witch!"_

"_I know Logan. I know."_

"_Why? Tora wouldn't hurt anyone. Why did the Witch have to take her?"_

"_I don't know Logan. I don't know."_

_Tora opened her mouth again and Logan leant in._

"_What? What is it?"_

"_Hurts…"_

"_I know darling. I know."_

"_Please…stop hurts…"_

"_Tora…"_

"_Logan, I think she wants you to be humane. You don't have to if you don't want to. We can anaesthetise her so deeply she won't wake up for three days. At which point, it will be all over. Not euthanasia, but just…relief."_

"_Nah Hank. I…I need to be the one to do this."_

"_I'm sorry Logan."_

"_Aren't we all? Look…can you just go? I…I wanna be alone."_

"_Of course."_

_The steps retreated and she felt rather than saw Logan lean towards her._

"_You certain?"_

"_Yes…"_

"_I… You know I love you?"_

"_That's…why…asking…"_

"_I… I'll do it."_

"_Thank…you…_Carca_…_jou_…"_

_And she felt cold metal be placed on her throat. A sudden flash of pain and then…nothing. Blissful, perfect **nothing**._

xXx

_She relaxed in the chair, the fear draining out of her. All the warnings had meant nothing. They had slowly dropped away to nothing and so far, no terrible catastrophe had happened. Of course, she knew exactly what the catastrophe would have been. If it hadn't been for the fact that Charles had managed to piece Wanda's mind together again. She tilted her head to one side, heard the shouts of pupils and laughed. It had been hilarious in class today. She'd been explaining to Wither the use of the irregular verb 'faire' and he'd pecked her on the cheek. She'd leapt back and touched the point where the skin was healing before rolling her eyes and smiling at the poor boy. He'd looked so embarrassed but she knew what it was. It was the same reason Rogue had grasped her wrist in fear a few years back, leaving Tora with a few less brain cells. A desire to be normal, to be able to touch. And Tora was used to a desire to be normal. As the class looked on, she reached out and placed her left hand on his face and told him politely 'Please don't kiss me again' before walking around to her desk and hiding her withered hand from them. Even now, it was still weaker than her right hand but she felt it was worth it for the look on the boy's face. She looked down at her stunted hand and smiled._

xXx

_She flicked open the phone then closed it again. Then opened it. The question was how would the X-Men react? Had Scott annoyed her enough today for her to announce exactly **who** her mysterious boyfriend was? She considered. Then put the phone down and decided that, for today at least, she wouldn't tell them. Suddenly she heard Scott hammering on the door._

"_Danger Room! Now!"_

_Changing her mind, she picked up the phone and flicked it open. Pressed 2 and held, until the speed-dial took over. Heard the rings. Then it being picked up._

"_Heeellloooo!"_

"_Hey Wade. Want to come over tonight instead of going out to dinner?"_

xXx

_She smiled at Ororo who carefully arranged the dress._

"_You look beautiful Tora."_

"_Yeah, as beautiful as a furry anthropomorphic tiger can look."_

"_Well ha, ha. Sarcasm is your great weakness Tora."_

"_Tell me about it. You look amazing by the way."_

"_Thank you. I must say, I may wear this blue more often."_

"_I wanted it to match Hank's fur. Just as long as kids don't end up with a mix of our fur colours. It's a horrible browny-puke colour."_

"_Come on Tora. Hank's waiting."_

"_I know. Don't want him to think I stood him up on his wedding day."_

xXx

_She stood shakily in front of the man. The Last Hero and the man who killed them all._

"_You are powerful little mutant. Join me and I can make you GREAT!"_

"_And if I say no?"_

"_Then prepare to die."_

"_Fine."_

_She leapt forward and pinned his arms to his sides, holding him close to her._

"_Prepare to die with me!"_

_And the electrical signal in her brain sent a message down to the small but powerful bomb surgically implanted into chest cavity, the Final Solution of the Weapon X-ii Program. And fire rippled across the room as both the Last Hero and the Great Villain perished in the inferno._

xXx

_They stood side by side, the short fiery haired woman and the tall dark angel. Etana grinned at Tora._

"_You know, this ranks with my idea to go on a cruise on that 'unsinkable' ship in 1912. Now what was it called? The Magnificent? The Monstrous? The Gargantuan? Oh yes. The **Titanic**."_

"_Then let's hit the iceberg."_

_Etana laughed joyfully and unsheathed Muzai. The sword was an enigma, being as old as Etana, yet showing all the signs of Masamune's work, even being signed. However, Etana was old when Masamune was born and she refused to talk about it. The katana was her favourite, the one she used for preference. Tora grinned and chikted out her claws._

"_Let's go rescue our husbands!"_

xXx

_The man frowned._

"_You are obviously looking for someone. Your accent singles you out as a Canadian and your wife's accent… Quebec?"_

"Non. _A little bit of everywhere."_

"_Ah. But you are naturally a French speaker?"_

"_Yes. How do you know we are looking for someone?"_

"_You are in London for the first time in a number of years and instead of seeing the sights, you go into the back streets, the run down areas. Hardly a tourist's view of London."_

"_We might be interested in the 'real' London."_

"_Yet you have no camera, but a piece of paper, probably a photo in your pocket that you regularly check. Your purse is most likely in your bag, and your phone is in your left coat pocket, yet you check your other pocket more regularly, as if there is something in there that is more important. I don't see any silhouette, so a piece of paper it is. You are in a rough end of London, glancing at the faces of people yet looking away almost instantly. That suggests you are looking for someone and haven't yet found them. So a photo it must be as you would want a photo to make requests."_

"_Who are you?"_

"_A detective."_

"_You know, we could torment him by trying to let him find Etana."_

"_Logan, that's evil."_

"_A missing person? Oh, I love these cases!"_

_Tora turned._

"_We're looking for an old friend who ran away over two months ago after an accident that left her…different. Her husband can't go after her as their marriage was…secret to the public and he occupies an…important position. Disappearing suddenly could lead to panic. This is one of the few photos we have of her since the…accident."_

"_I assume from your candidness, she was a mutant with a severe disfigurement and enjoyed being a mutant. She was changed to a normal human after the decimation of the mutant race in July."_

"_Are you a mutant?"_

"_No. I just observe."_

"_I should point out, Etana is…the best. She has safe-houses all across the world and it's taken us this long to track her to London. We're good but she's better."_

"_Yeah well, she did say when she taught me she wasn't teaching me all her tricks."_

_The photo was blurred, a woman moving fast. Her hair was black and she had tanned skin. Dark brown eyes that were full of loss stared out of the picture. She was dressed in red, which beforehand had stood out vibrantly against her fur and now sapped the vitality from her face._

"_How old is she?"_

"_Er… at the last count, about three thousand."_

_To be fair, the man didn't twitch much._

"_One of the mutants with an elongated lifespan?"_

"_Yes."_

"_So I'd say her safe-house would be in the oldest part of the city. Any mentions of past visits to London?"_

"_A great deal. Mainly she moaned about her old house being burned down due to 'that infernal baker'."_

"_And?"_

"_Er…she mentioned dealing with the Ripper."_

"_So that's why he never struck again…"_

"_Honestly Logan, you'd think you'd be prepared to ask your adoptive **mother** questions about her past."_

"_She didn't like to talk about it."_

"_That's because you always had a motive in mind."_

_The tall man they were with smiled at the photo._

"_Leave it to me. I have connections at Scotland Yard."_

"_Where do we find you?"_

_The man scribbled down an address on a paper napkin and marched off, long coat flying out behind him. Logan glanced down at the address._

"_HEY! He's just given us a web address!"_

* * *

><p>"Oh, well she's nowhere near as depressed as earlier."<p>

"Was that just me, or did that man look vaguely familiar?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N.<strong> For those of you who don't know, the final reality was a crossover with a British TV series starring Benedict Cumberbatch. Look it up! Seriously, it's great!_


	106. Perspectives

**Memories**

Perspectives

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She slid into the cubicle at the small café. This had sort of become a ritual for them. Once a week, if there was time in between saving the world and stuff, they met up to talk.

"So, how's things with the X-Men Tora?"

"Hellish Steve. We're a dying race and we all know it."

"How are the alternate realties shaping up?"

"Almost as bad. I've been depowered and died in six. Lost contact with another eight. Haven't a clue what happened there. Maybe Wanda's reality warp broke them, maybe they never went back."

"And 'Tana?"

"Well, in the main reality I stick to, she decided to drag you off on holiday about two weeks ago and we haven't heard from you since."

"Why?"

"I think it was something about being fed up of sharing you with a country."

Steve laughed softly.

"Yes…"

"Oh, and before you went, you were having lots of arguments about family."

"Why?"

"You want kids, she doesn't, neither will back down. That's part of the reason you went off. To work out your differences."

Steve grinned and pulled his coffee mug possessively close to his chest.

"I'm not going to steal your coffee Steve."

"Yeah, well, Tony does all the time. I don't know how his girlfriends stand him."

Tora laughed and lazily stirred her coffee.

"I'm engaged to Tony in a different world."

Hot coffee spurted across the table as Steve started to choke on his drink.

"WHAT!"

"Oh, didn't I tell you? I'm Marie Circen there. Logan stopped them from ever kidnapping me."

"Wait, can we go back to Tony being **engaged**?"

"Yes. How do you think Tony would ask someone to marry him?"

"I don't know. Er…probably while drunk."

"Actually, I was yelling at him for managing to almost kill himself again, because I'm the official Avengers doctor and Tony just blurts out 'Can I annoy you for the rest of our lives?'"

"Can I annoy you…? What?"

"Yes. I know. Very Tony isn't it."

Steve laughed happily.

"Now, can I tease him about that?"

"No."

"Come **on**."

"No Steve. You can't."

The two laughed and continued their banter, determined to beat the other one in this game of minds.

* * *

><p>"Odd isn't it, how a symbol and a former slave can be so close."<p>

"They were both products of Weapon Plus."

"But the project changed between Weapons I and X."

"She has a point."

* * *

><p>The woman shied away from Tora's hand.<p>

"Mutie scum!"

Tora sighed and sat down in the rubble.

"What are you doing you piece of filth!"

"Well, I promised your family I'd get you out or die trying. Can we talk? I'd hate to die in uncomfortable silence."

"Mutie filth!"

Tora rolled her eyes then realised the woman couldn't see her face.

"Well then, who will you miss most?"

Silence.

"I think I'll miss my family most. My kids, Logan, Eloise. Oh, and I'll miss the chess games with everyone. And the New Year's Eve party. And Christmas. We always make a point of just relaxing at Christmas."

She smiled at the woman.

"You know, you could be a little more talkative."

The building creaked ominously.

"You know, all you have to do is take my hand and we'll both survive."

"I'd rather die than owe my life to mutie scum like you!"

"Ouch. You know, mutie scum like me have feelings? Are you a patriotic American?"

"Of course!"

"You do know, a mutant kick-started the War of Independence. I asked her and she just went bright red and said that George needed a good kick up the backside to get going. And she provided it."

"LIAR!"

"Shhh. Unless you want this building to topple down much faster."

"Mutants can't be trusted to tell the truth!"

"Oh for goodness sake! We're just **people** who are slightly different. Do you consider yourself racist?"

"Of course not."

"But you are. We're just another group of people."

"Liar!"

"We're an…well, not an ethnic group because we're all really, really different. Nightcrawler's a Roman Catholic and left us to be a priest for a while, did you know that? And Beast is… Hey Hank, are you a deist?"

The comm crackled. Hank's voice was urgent.

"Tora, the whole building's going to collapse soon. Just get out!"

"Sorry. No can do. I promised this woman's family I'd come out with their daughter or dead and she won't let me help her."

"TORA! What about Eva and Jamie?"

"Tell them their Maman died saving a life and tell them not to be as stubborn as she is."

"Tora, please, get out of there…"

It was Logan, pleading.

"Sorry _Carcajou_. I made a promise I intend to keep."

"You and your damn promises!"

"I'm sorry."

Then Curt's voice, so **so** quiet and sad.

"Maman?"

"Hey Curt."

"Are you going to die Maman?"

"Possibly."

"Why?"

"Because there's a woman in here who needs saving from herself."

"Why can't you just grab her and get out?"

"Because that would achieve nothing darling."

"But you'll die…"

"Look, I do have an exceptionally dangerous job."

"What, being an X-Man?"

"No Curt. Teaching. Especially your class."

"Maman…"

The woman squirmed uncomfortably.

"Is that your son?"

Tora started and then nodded.

"Is he a mutant?"

"Not anymore."

"How old is he?"

"Do you want his real age or his apparent age?"

"Both."

"He looks about fifteen. He's actually nine months old."

"How?"

"People wanted to hurt me so they stole my son. It happens."

The woman considered then reached out a hand.

"Mutants are people too."

Tora grinned and grabbed the woman's wrist.

"Of course we are."

"The mutant woman? The one who started the War of Independence? What was her name?"

"Etana, Daughter of Aleka."

* * *

><p>"Ok, how on <strong>earth<strong> did she find out about Aleka? Her existence was a closely guarded secret."

"She asked. Duh."

"You know, you really can be insufferable at times."

* * *

><p>Curt tilted his head as Spider-Man sighed.<p>

"No. It's left, right, right, left, right, left, right, right, left."

"What…?"

"Look, you have the natural talent. Heck, I've never seen anyone as good at web-slinging as you are first time, but you need to practise. It took me over a year to be half-way decent at it. Now, you need to be able to throw yourself forward and know when to release a line. Like so…"

Peter launched himself off the building and Curt followed, cheering. Curt had pestered and pestered until eventually Dad had shouted 'GO WITH PARKER FOR ALL I CARE! BUT I AIN'T SCRAPING YOU OFF THE ROAD!' Maman had rolled her eyes and given Uncle Peter a half-hour lecture of safety before pecking a kiss to Curt's forehead and grinning then telling him to go. So now Curt was swinging from the skyscrapers, at exact odds to his parents' instructions and enjoying every second of it. He copied Spider-Man's moves and fell into an easy rhythm. Web, web, flip, web, fall, web, web, web. It was amazing. His foot grazed the top of the car and then the next second he was level with a small scraper. It was fast paced, furious, the adrenalin rush he'd been looking for. He heard Uncle Spidey laughing up ahead, his words snatched away by the wind. And then he flipped forward and landed on a gargoyle on a church and Curt landed next to him.

"Now **that's** web-slinging Kid!"

"Can we do this more often?"

"You know, your parents are going to kill us for this?"

"Ah, they ground me every other day."

"Yeah, but you're their kid. Logan will probably impale me and Tora… does she ever do that freaky Dragon thing when she gets mad?"

"She has to be really, **really** mad."

"I'm dead."

"No you're not."

"Okay, in half an hour, I'm going to **wish** I were dead."

Curt grinned and the symbiote slid back from his face.

"Comeon Uncle Spidey. Can we do this more often? Poison and Spider-Man, the butt-kicking crime-fighting duo!"

"I thought the X-Men had dibs on you?"

"Yeah, but if I'm an X-Man, we can use the Fastball Special."

* * *

><p>"Oh, the Fastball Special. The most famous duo move in history. Did you know there was a ship called the 'Fastball Special'. No, really!"<p> 


	107. Guilt and Innocence

**Memories**

Guilt and Innocence

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She sat still as the talk continued. They were actually turning her home into a **reservation**! She snarled, stood up and walked out. Halfway down the hall, Eloise caught her arm.

"Marie?"

"Eloise? What's wrong? You only call me Marie if something big has happened."

"I'm leaving."

Tora grabbed her sister's arm and pulled her into an empty classroom.

"_Pardon?_"

"Luke was depowered. He…he wants to go home. And I want to go with him."

Tora's face flashed with shock, sorrow, pain and then settled into a look of understanding and happiness.

"It's your choice."

"You…you aren't going to stop me?"

"No. Although… If you aren't at the mansion, can we send the kids to you whenever something big is in the works?"

"Of course."

Tora smiled and hugged her sister.

"Teenage romance? What **is** the world coming to?"

Eloise instantly made a book hit her elder sibling around the head.

"Not. Funny."

Tora laughed and hugged her sister tighter.

"Just…be happy."

"We're thinking of staying somewhere in the Lake District."

"Etana's home in Scotland is empty right now."

"Isn't it that creepy castle with no central heating?"

"Apparently there is central heating. And water, and antiques to the total sum of a couple of tens of thousands."

"Okay, a creepy castle in the middle of nowhere."

"That's better. Always get your facts right."

"You sound like our **mother**."

The look on Tora's face was a mixture of shock, hurt and confusion. Eloise smiled slightly.

"You should get back in touch."

* * *

><p>The dark woman got up and walked slowly away from Phoenix and Death.<p>

"Where are you going?"

"Just…somewhere. Keep watching. I…I just want some time alone."

* * *

><p>The uncomfortable silence filled the room. Jamie shifted on his mother's lap, the attention span of his two-year old mind not being very long. Eva was sleeping in the carrycot at Tora's feet. It had been decided to save Curt for later. There was only so much weirdness a person could take in one sitting. Tora looked up, her eyes dark and she looked down again, pulling Jamie closer to her.<p>

"You know, it is a little annoying to find out that one's first grandson has been born from someone **other** than one of my daughters."

Tora shrugged.

"At the time, I had other stuff on and Eloise was training. So we asked Professor Xavier to tell you."

"We tried to get in touch but they said you didn't want to talk."

Tora shrugged.

"I have trouble forgetting things."

"We wanted to see you."

"I was busy."

"Doing what?"

"Raising a family, saving the world, dying, trying to prevent the complete extinction of the mutant race. Stupid stuff like that."

"You know, sarcasm is a low form of humour."

"It's the one I understand."

"You are too old for your years."

"I have seen terrible things. I remember things from before the world began."

"How?"

"I share my head with a being as old as the Universe."

"Don't lie."

Her eyes flashed silver as a voice that sounded deeper than oceans rolled off Tora's tongue.

"I do not **lie**!"

Jamie grinned.

"Hello Dragon. Where Maman?"

Tora smiled and pressed her face to his head.

"I'm here. Don't worry."

Her mother reached out.

"May I?"

Tora hesitated then slid Jamie off her lap.

"Go and see Grandmere."

"Grandmere?"

"Go on."

The boy pulled himself over to his grandmother and tilted his head.

"Méme?"

"_Oui petit._"

Jamie let himself be picked up and blinked.

"You look different."

"What?"

"You're not like Mémé."

"Different reality Jamie."

"Oh…"

The two women looked at each other for a moment then nodded. For the sake of a child, they would remain in contact. And for the child's sake alone.

* * *

><p>"Parents…"<p>

The woman was back, her face unmoved, her eyes dry. Phoenix and Death shared a glance, knowing that she was removing herself further from her humanity each moment this went on.

* * *

><p>She stood by the door, pacing back and forth every now and then. She glanced at her watch, bit her lip, almost reached for the phone. And stopped.<p>

Finally, Logan limped in, his uniform torn and bloodstained, the places where he had been stabbed and shot obvious to Tora's trained eye. She hurried over and let him hug her.

"Logan, you're killing yourself."

"I… Tora, I've done so many bad things, it's time to pay the world back."

"But you're **killing** yourself! Every day, you go out with the Avenger's and the X-Men and I don't know if you're going to come back! You're working yourself to death!"

"If that's what it takes."

She pulled away, eyes angry.

"Etana never had to work herself to death for everything she did!"

"Yeah, but she was Etana."

"And you're a lot more like her than you care to admit!"

"I. Am. **Nothing**. Like. Her."

"Why?"

"Because she was basically a selfless person who gave her life to keep others safe!"

"So what do you call what you do?"

"Trying to atone for what I've done wrong!"

"How do you know Etana wasn't doing exactly the same thing?"

Silence. Then Logan shrugged.

"She never talked about her past fully."

"Look, can you stop trying to get rid of the guilt by risking your life? None of us **care** what you may or may not have done. **I** don't care. You're not that person anymore!"

Logan shook his head.

"I need to show you something."

"What?"

"Come."

They walked up to their room and Logan pulled out a long, oddly shaped package before unwrapping it and revealing a katana. Tora shuddered.

"That feels…evil."

"It's mine. At least, it was forged with a part of…my soul. Years ago. This was the deal with a demon I told you about."

Tora reached out and Logan snatched her hand back.

"Don't touch it! It can cut through anything, and I mean **anything**."

Tora's fingers brushed the black sheath. Then she smiled.

"Muramasa?"

"How the…"

"You're not the only one with a sword made by a legendary Japanese swordsmith."

"What?"

Tora dived into a chest and pulled out a similarly shaped package and unwrapped it.

"Muzai. Etana left it to me. Told me it was one part of the puzzle and I needed to find the other. I think I may just have found it."

The wrappings peeled away to reveal a white sheath. The sword was about the same length only the **feel** was different. Whilst the first sword had a dark, angry presence, this one seemed…soft, calm.

"Who made it? Muramasa?"

"He couldn't make a sword like this. Not one this…**pure**. No, this is Masamune's work. Odd, isn't it? Muramasa and Masamune were always being compared and now two of their swords lie side by side, waiting to be used."

Logan pulled out the blade, revealing dark grey steel. Grinning, Tora did the same to Muzai, revealing highly-polished metal that glowed and shone, appearing almost pearly-white in the bright light.

"You should name it."

"What?"

"Name the sword."

"Why?"

"It's traditional. I know! Tsumi! Muzai and Tsumi, Innocence and Guilt, a Masamune blade and a Muramasa blade! And guilt is what motivates you, so as a name for a sword that's a part of you, it's perfect!"

"Tsumi?"

"It works."

"You have given this **way** too much thought."

"Yes, well, you keep going off and Curt spends all his time with Spider-Man or Xixy and 'Ro's spending a lot more time with T'Challa, especially since he proposed and Rogue's got stuff on and Tessa's ignoring everyone and Emma's busy so…I'm bored."

"Kitty?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

* * *

><p>"Muzai and Tsumi. Flagships of the Utopian space fleet. Is it just me, or are X-Men themes rather prevalent in the evacuation of Earth?"<p>

"There was the _Steve Rogers_ if I remember correctly. And the _Reed Richards_, the _Henry Phillip McCoy_, the _Scott Summers_, _Charles Xavier_, and the _Ororo Munroe_. I'm sorry, I'm primarily acquainted with the Utopian evacuation fleet. I think the US had a _Greer Grant_, _Anthony Edward Stark_, _Henry Pym_, _Janet Van Dyne_, _Jennifer Walters_, and… Did they have a _Bruce Banner_?"

"I think it was called _Hulk_."

"Did they have a _Skaar_?"

"They had a _Xixswalmer_, which almost caused a war with the K'Meer."


	108. Return

**Memories**

Return

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

The two swords clashed, the skill of the makers apparent by the fact that neither was slashed to pieces. It was obvious that one had a much greater experience with a katana than the other. The pearly-white blade sang as it swept towards an unguarded neck and the almost black blade snapped up just in time to meet it. The wielder of the pale blade stepped back and swung low, stopping with the blade pressed to the leg of her opponent.

"Too slow. You're dead."

""Yeah well, some of us aren't the best traditional katana fighters in the world."

"You're pretty good."

"Yes, but I'm not trained to be able to change styles at a seconds notice."

She shrugged and grinned.

"I taught myself that."

Suddenly the blade was touching his chest.

"Aaannnd, you're dead. **Again**."

He sighed.

"You have to stop doing that!"

"Doing what?"

"Cheating."

"It's not cheating, it's real life. You taught me that."

He sighed.

"I…you said there was something special about that sword. Show me."

She smiled and slammed it into the wall. The sword slid in perfectly, almost as if the wall was water. The blade slid along and then out and as Logan watched, the metal slowly healed.

"What the…?"

"Muzai Logan. **Muzai**. Innocence. The sword can't, **won't **hurt anything that's innocent. That's the legend. Muramasa and Masamune lay their swords in a river. Both cut through every leaf that passed but the leaves cut by the Masamune blade healed as they floated down the stream."

"So…"

"Muzai won't hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it. I could swing it at Jamie and the blade would go straight through him like he was phased."

"Oh… Wait! Did you **do** that!"

"No. What sort of mother do you think I am?"

"Er…"

"I did it on a dog."

"You stabbed a dog?"

"It was a dead dog."

"A dead dog?"

"Etana tested it much more thoroughly. Children, especially those under five can't be hurt and Muzai becomes more…eager if they're in danger."

"Eager? How can a sword be eager?"

"It… The sword will kill people it wouldn't normally kill if a child were in danger. It's like it forgets itself in the need to protect the child."

"Sounds like you."

She smiled secretively.

"Funny you should say that."

"What?"

"I…I'm not entirely certain my hypothesis is correct and I'll need to do some more research but I think I'm close to working out who gave their soul to Masamune to make this sword so…alive."

"Etana?"

"No. Etana has had this sword since she was eleven. It was given to her as a gift."

"Wasn't Masamune the…twelfth century?"

"Yes. Which means time-travel was involved. Also, one of Masamune's students wrote that his master seemed obsessed with creating 'a perfect sword'. Apparently he saw a sword wielded by a messenger of the gods and was determined to make one of the same calibre."

"Etana?"

"Of course. How many other Black Angels do we know?"

"Not many."

"So the sword was made with the soul of someone with access to time-travel tech and who knew Etana, or had heard of her."

"Is Jeanne a separate part of your soul?"

"No. She's… It's like, one mind, one soul, two bodies and different parts of our personality dominating."

"So…what would happen if you died?"

"Well, I've never **really** died. If I go to the Library again, Jeanne will probably remained linked to me but will probably lose her ability to talk. At least, that's what happened elsewhere."

"So if you died, I'd still have Jeanne, but no intelligent conversation?"

"Yes. At least it would mean I'd know what you were doing. And Jeanne **can** use a keyboard."

"Yes, but I'd rather not communicate with you via a keyboard."

"Oh stop moaning. At least you know I'm not **really** dead if Jeanne is still around. Oh, you're dead again."

Logan looked down at the sword touching his stomach.

"You really are a terrible cheat."

"It's not cheating to use your opponents weaknesses against them."

"Fine."

He stepped up towards her and kissed her, then flicked the blade to the back of her neck.

"You're dead."

"Really?"

And he looked down to see her fist curled up under his rib cage.

"All I have to do is chikt them out."

He sighed.

"You really hate losing don't you?"

"Losing hurt me. If I lost, I suffered."

He cursed himself then. She rarely spoke of that. It was like it was locked up in a little box, tucked under a bed in a spare attic room that hadn't been entered for years. But every now and then, she'd flinch if someone moved that little bit to fast, if someone mentioned Sabretooth, if the words Eva or Eve or Eden were in a conversation. She also went silent if someone talked about…well, torture and blood and survival. He knew what she was thinking of. He knew she was thinking of the six years she was forced to eat…well, **herself**. When no other food was offered and there was a fresh supply of meat right in front of her and she'd had to close her eyes and eat her own flesh to survive. And it hurt to see the fear in those golden eyes and the revulsion at what she was.

"I'm sorry."

"It's alright."

* * *

><p>"Oh, the cruelty of humanity. Did you know that a lot of the cosmic entities didn't believe they deserved to live?"<p>

"Yes. How could I not?"

* * *

><p>She shaded her eyes, standing at the top of the mountain, looking down at the building. She knew what the others thought about her coming here, that she was reopening old wounds. But she walked down the slopes, knowing that this was the only way to let her fear go. She stepped up to the torn open doors and smiled slightly. When the X-Men trashed something, they trashed it <strong>properly<strong>. The corridors were overgrown with weeds and nature was beginning to reclaim the place. Her steps echoed around the empty corridors and she remembered being pushed down them, her wrists and ankles chained, her blood running from wherever they'd found as a new punishment.

Right. Right. Left. Third left. She knew the path off by heart, although had never fully explored the whole building. It seemed ridiculous that the square kilometre base had been built for the express purpose of holding her. She reached the door and pulled it open. The room seemed untouched by time. Standing in the centre, she reached out her arms and her fingers brushed each wall. Then she turned 90 degrees and shuddered. 150cm by 200cm for two girls. She touched the metal shelves they had slept on, pressed her hands to the cuffs that no longer slid out of the wall. She smiled oddly when she touched one rust-covered spot, remembering a face she had seen reflected out there once. She pressed her hand to one of the beds and bowed her head.

"Forgive me."

Then she left and went to room after room. The adamantium bonding room, with the tank empty but still menacing. The training room, the blood and gore now thankfully decomposed and eaten by animals. The punishment room, where she stood in silence for a minute. And pulled out a small knife she had made. The handle had 'Eva' carved into it and she stood for a moment before slamming it into a crack in the floor. The iron she had heated and hammered until it was a beautiful example of traditional forging techniques from the Sabari dynasty of the Taba. In other words, Dragon had given her the knowledge and she had created it. The handle was antler, one that had been dropped by a reindeer and carved with claws. The handle was a fairly accurate representation of an angel, who bore more than a slight resemblance to Etana. Only the face was that of a woman Tora had met for a week. And known for a lifetime.

"Goodbye Eva. May you find peace. Wherever you are."

She smiled slightly and touched the blade.

"I'm sorry."

And she thought for a moment, a single sentence of Spanish floated around the room.

"_No se._"

Don't be.

She turned and left, leaving a blade made with methods that had dropped from history. A blade made in a style from a world destroyed when the Shi'ar were still leaping out of trees from a dynasty so old it was more legend than fact. A fitting tribute for a girl who could not live.

* * *

><p>"Eva De Souza was doomed to die. She <strong>had<strong> to die to make Weapon X-ii into Tora, then into Tigress and Dragon."

"It doesn't mean I have to agree Death."

"You should know better than anyone. The death of Project Eden was the only thing that prevented her from becoming a ruthless killer."


	109. Deadly Truth

**Memories**

Deadly Truth

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She stepped into the house and frowned. There was a terrible smell, like rotting flesh.

"Logan? Scott?"

She walked along the silent corridors and shuddered. A Sentinel walked past the window and it was all she could do not to attack it. Suddenly a blue hand stuck of a door and Beast pulled her in.

"Hank?"

"Sean's dead."

"What…? Banshee? How?"

"We don't know. You shouldn't have gone Tora. Everything's gone to Hell."

"Hank, I need to know…"

"Charles… Tora, Charles sent four teenagers into Krakoa and they weren't trained. Then, to stop us feeling guilty, he wiped our memories of it."

"Hank…"

"That's not the worst bit. One of them… One of them is Scott's brother. Aged in a way similar to Curt."

"Oh… How…?"

"One of the others was in a constant state of evolution. He…bonded with Gabriel. And…he came back and killed lots of people. And… Tora, Charles is back. And **walking**. But not… He's lost his telepathy."

She frowned.

"I… Ah…"

"What?"

"When I first learnt to drop my shields… Emma said most telepaths would hate to go into my mind because I have a natural defence mechanism."

"What?"

"The deeper they go into my mind, the deeper I go into theirs. Charles never wanted to enter my mind, even when I offered him a chance."

"You mean…"

"He knew I'd find out. And he was afraid. And for a good reason."

"Tora, you can't… It's **Charles**…"

"You know what I first thought when I met him? It's too good to be true. You can **never** trust professors, **especially** ones who deal with mutants!"

"Tora, you have to calm down."

"No Hank! This isn't about me! This is about Charles lying to us for seven years! **Seven years** Hank!"

"Tora, you need to calm down."

"This is the **exact** misuse of powers that he taught us about! He's a hypocrite Hank! A liar and a cheat!"

"Tora…"

"Look, I'm… I'm going to take Jamie and Curt and Eva and I'm going to Canada to stay in Etana's old place."

"Tora you can't! We **need** you here!"

"I am not staying in a house where a manipulative telepath is in control!"

"He's not a telepath Tora!"

"Yes! But he **was**!"

"Tora, we all know he could never get into your mind!"

"THEN WHY WERE MY BARRIERS BEING PROBED ALL THE TIME? WHY DID IT STOP AFTER THE DECIMATION?"

"TORA, WE NEED YOU HERE!"

"YOU MANAGED PERFECTLY WELL WITHOUT ME **GENIUS**! SOME GENIUS YOU ARE! YOU CAN'T EVEN FIX A STUPID PIECE OF CHAOS MAGIC!"

She stormed out, leaving Hank standing in the classroom looking at his hands in despair and trying not to wonder what had made Tora so…angry and spiteful. Normally she considered every word before she said it, weighed up the options and came out with something soft and caring, which gave the impression of slowness around the language, but made almost all her comments soft spoken and the right thing to say. And that she could explode like that and come out with words that bit and tore worse than anything Emma could ever say had never crossed Hank's mind. But then to be able to calm and soothe, you also needed to know the words that angered and stung.

He touched his face and was surprised to feel tears. Then he snarled and marched out after her.

"Some Dragon you are if you can't heal this!"

She whipped around from the end of the corridor and stalked towards him, eyes flashing silver with anger.

"This. Is. Out. Of. My. Hands. I tried and I was taken before the TRIBUNAL! They dragged me away and placed me in the court in front of all the cosmic entities and told me I was not to interfere and if I did then all of humanity would be destroyed! And the worst bit was that I'm more powerful than all of the cosmic entities! But the Tribunal gave me the ultimatum! The mutant race or the human race! How could I choose Hank? How could I choose? So next time you accuse me of not doing something, remember that I answer to the Tribunal and the One-Above-All, and them alone! Next time, don't accuse me of sitting back and letting people die!"

She stormed off and Hank caught a whiff of sea-spray and ice. Which wasn't surprising considering how mad she was. Just like a mad Jean had smelt of smoke and fire, Tora always smelt of the sea and ice-sheets when angry. But it had never reached the point where water vapour was curling around her hands. Oh, Jean's eyes had sometimes burst with fire, but the fire had never left her eyes unless she needed it to. Tora had a different approach. Danger Room workouts showed her going in apparently perfectly calm, screaming a lot when inside then turning the whole place into a waterspout/tsunami/extremely fast moving glacier. She would then leave looking perfectly composed and relaxed. Scott had been planning to confront her about it. Hank had pointed out it was better than her taking it out on the students. Scott had agreed but still suggested anger-management. Hank had asked if Dr Reese was out of the asylum yet. Scott had shut up.

* * *

><p>"She really did hate therapists."<p>

"Like you wouldn't believe."

* * *

><p>Logan hadn't expected to come in and find Tora packing. Nor had he expected his stuff to be pack, or the kids' stuff. So he felt fully justified in asking 'Why?' Only with a few more swear words inserted. Tora just looked at him and he knew.<p>

"Chuck?"

"Of course."

"You… We can't go."

"I will not stay on the hospitality of another manipulative professor. I swore to myself that if Charles Xavier ever proved to be anything like my former hosts, by which I mean manipulative, dangerous, hypocritical or unethical, then I would leave without a second thought. And he has proved to be all of them."

"Tora, you can't just…**leave**. What about the kids?"

"I'm taking them with me."

"Where?"

"Canada. Then Scotland."

"You're going to take Jamie and Eva away from the only home they've ever known and Curt from the one place he feels safe? Away from **Xixy**?"

"You're coming with us and **you** will act as the father you should be."

"No."

The word was just that. A word. No growl or snarl or any of the normal noises Logan made when angry. Just a word that could have come from Etana when she was being incredibly stubborn. People learnt to fear the 'No' of the Black Angel. Because when Etana Bat Aleka said no, she normally meant it. And nothing could shake her from that. And when Logan said that word it could have come from her lips. Tora blinked.

"You're not going."

It was a statement, not a question.

"No. I'm not. Chuck's done a bad thing, maybe more than one bad thing. But he never turned his back on us when we needed him. He took us both in when there was nowhere else for us to go-"

"There's **always** somewhere to go!"

"This bothers you, doesn't it?"

"Yes. It does."

"Why?"

"Why? Logan, you have to ask **why**?"

"No. But I want to hear you say it."

"Fine! Charles sent four teenagers to their deaths! Teenagers who were the same age as some of our **students**, teenagers who were woefully unprepared! You've seen child warriors! You've seen me and Laura and Curt! You've seen Scott, who is Cyclops more than Scott Summers now, Jean, who has died so many times for Charles' 'dream', Bobby whose a living **icicle** because he follows this dream, Warren who's lost his most precious appendices and Hank, who's a walking **furball**! I would not wish becoming a teenage warrior on **anyone**! And Charles does it again and again! He turns children into warriors Logan! And we let him!"

Then she burst into angry, gulping tears and Logan just pulled her in for a hug.

"Feel better?"

"Yeah."

"You just needed to get that off your chest."

"Yeah."

"Do you want me to unpack?"

"Okay…"

* * *

><p>"Poor woman. Anger became a primary motivator in her life."<p>

"She had a lot to be angry about."

"Of course."

* * *

><p><strong><em>A.N. <em>**_Why mention Deadly Genesis when I skipped over things like the Onslaught Saga? I felt that Tora would be most challenged with the __deaths of teenagers as she knew what it was like to be trained with a single purpose in mind._


	110. Dark Angel

**Memories**

Dark Angel

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She sat in silence, eyes unfocussed as she spoke with a woman long dead.

"_Etana?"_

"_Tora."_

"_I need your advice."_

"_On what?"_

"_On how to react to something."_

"_How to react to what?"_

"_How to react to death."_

"_Whose death?"_

"_Many people. Something is going to happen. Something that will tear us asunder."_

"_How do you know…? Ahhh. Dragon."_

"_Of course. How's things with Steve?"_

"_We've agreed to wait until all the Raft escapees have been rounded up and the Skull is away before having children. Cap on three. No more. Two years minimum between them all."_

"_Three? I'm impressed."_

"_He wanted… Steve, how many kids did you want? Oh, he just grinned and said three but he originally said five to be able to bargain down to three. The sly dog."_

"_Come on Tana, you know you're madly in love with him."_

"_Of course. But I can still moan about him. Tell me truthfully that you don't moan about Logan and I'll swap you."_

_They both burst out into bubbling laughter. Steve stuck his head in the door._

"_Anything I should be worrying about?"_

"_We're planning to swap husbands."_

_He laughed as well._

"_Not going to happen. Tana loves Logan like a son."_

"_Really?"_

"_Shut it Tana. You just want to get me annoyed."_

"_Well, haven't you heard? A lot of women try to chat him up when he's out on X-Men missions."_

"_Yes. I have to beat them off with a big stick."_

"_See? I might just find him attractive."_

_Tora ruined the illusion by giggling. Steve grinned._

"_I happen to know you like tall blond Super-Soldiers, not hairy Canadian midgets."_

"_HE'S NOT A MIDGET!"_

_Both Tora and Etana burst out laughing at their in-synch defending of Logan's height._

"_No, really. Come on Tana, he's nine inches shorter than you!"_

"_So? Napoleon was five foot two and Josephine was taller than me."_

"_Yes, you promised to tell me about Napoleon. Go on, spill the beans."_

"_He chucked a wine bottle at me."_

"_WHAT!"_

"_I told him I thought it was funny that a leader of a Revolution to disestablish the monarchy was now Emperor. He didn't like it."_

"_Do you go out of your **way** to cause trouble?"_

"_No. I just told him the truth."_

"_Etana!"_

"_Look, Robert liked the truth! Leo liked the truth! Newton didn't. I have always got on with the people who liked the truth."_

"_Robert?"_

"_Bruce? Robert the Bruce? Come on! You've heard the spider-story! I told him that! I had to tell him it three times before he got the message."_

"_That…was you?"_

"_Well duh Steve. Does Logan ever do the stupid husband routine on you?"_

"_Sometimes. Not often though."_

"_Right, I'm swapping."_

"_Not a chance."_

_Steve pouted._

"_No one wants me?"_

"_Of course not Steve. We'd have to share you with a country, not just the entire female population of three states. Oh, and some of the guys as well."_

_He laughed and let Etana hug him._

"_Come on. You all know I have far more fanclubs than Logan."_

"_Actually…"_

"_Tora, please tell me you haven't been researching this…"_

"_Logan has fewer fanclubs but the members of his fanclubs total 3,987 more than yours. Sorry Steve."_

"_Tora, I can't believe you actually **look** these things up!"_

"_Have you seen the shipper sites? There's a group of misguided people who think that Etana and Logan are engaged in some sort of romantic relationship after a photo of the pair of them in the late 19th century turned up."_

_Etana spluttered and started to choke on her laughter._

"_That photo was in the style of mother-son photos! Oh, if people are so **stupid** they can't work out I was his **mother** then they deserve to be wiped out in the next time some alien comes and tries to take over! Did I ever tell you I was responsible for fighting off the first ever alien invasion. Of course, I had help, but I was the founder of the Order of the Shield. Well, co-founder. I still have the honouree seat on the Grand Council. I have a rather…strained relationship with the current Grand Master."_

"_Is that the man you spoke to very harshly at the wedding, then both of you bowed stiffly and he gave us a bag of gold coins?"_

"_Yes, that was Isaac."_

"_Isaac?"_

"_Newton? Oh even **you** must have heard of him?"_

"_Isaac Newton died… years ago."_

"_He brought immortality into the Brotherhood. Do you remember the blond man I danced with?"_

"_The dance Herc identified as a fifteenth century Italian court dance?"_

"_Yep. That was Leonardo Da Vinci. He left the Brotherhood but he remained immortal."_

_Steve started spluttering. _

"_I had **LEONARDO DA VINCI **at my **wedding**!"_

"_Yes. So?"_

"_SO! Etana, that man is a **genius**! You could have **told** me!"_

"_He's Leo. He's my friend. I didn't know you had some sort of obsession with him!"_

"_Tana, Tony would have been in **raptures** if he knew! Leonardo Da Vinci is like…like the Supreme Artist and Inventor of **All-Time**!"_

"_Do you want his number?"_

"_Wh… WHAT!"_

"_Do you want his phone number?"_

"_You have Leonardo Da Vinci in your contacts?"_

"_I have Leo on speeddial."_

_Steve closed his eyes and slowly started counting to ten. Etana grinned and flicked out her phone, the private one, not the work one._

"_Hi Leo. Yeah it's me. Steve wants to meet you."_

_She rolled her eyes._

"_I haven't had this much trouble since I told Thor I knew Sif and then he suddenly realized 'Oh, she's the Black Angel we all thought was a god'. Idiot Asgardian…"_

Tora laughed as she withdrew from the now familiar banter between Steve and Etana. They had a much lighter relationship than Tora and Logan, finding it easier to tease and joke, which just showed the deepness of their emotions to everyone. There was something about their soft teasing that made people just want to leave them alone to joke in private. Tora could only suppose that a year and a half of just being friends gave you that. The easy, joking way of talking. The way of softly teasing, especially when Etana found the Iron Man/Cap fans who seemed to think they were going out. Apparently she was still teasing him about it three months later. Tora let a smile twitch on her lips. Suddenly Jamie was crawling onto her lap.

"Read."

The brightly coloured picture book was rammed under her nose.

"What do you say?"

"Please read?"

"Good."

"So…"

She smiled and changed her position slightly so he could be nestled up on her stomach and opened the book.

"DNA helix. Chromosome. Gene. X-Gene. Bacterium. RNA…"

She was going to kill Hank for this picture book.

* * *

><p>"Of course, James Logan was considered on a par with Reed Richards."<p>

"Well of course. He had a mainframe mind."

"I'm sorry, I don't understand twenty-first century computing speak."

"I'll explain later. Or rather, she will."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Would anyone be interested in some Curt-centric fics? I have a friend who's willing to write them. Warning, Krekka has a warped (Deadpoolish) sense of humour!_


	111. Genius Kids

**Memories**

Genius Kids

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Sue and Tora leant back as the two two-year-olds started carefully building a huge tower out of wooden blocks. The tower started to topple and instantly the two children started moving a few blocks and then the tower was totally stable. The fact it was taller than both of them was the most impressive part of the enterprise. Sue shook her head.

"Genius kids. What **is** the world coming too? I blame Reed for Val."

"I'm afraid I have to take the blame for Jamie."

"Tell me."

"One of my mutations is to be able to see other realities. Jamie's mutation takes it a step further. Forgive me, I'm about to use Computing metaphors here. My mutation is a network, a series of interconnected computers, each with their own hard drive and processor and therefore are separate entities. Also, there are lots of different networks as well. We're all a part of one big network but inside that, we're bunched into smaller networks. Like… your home computer system, which is linked up to the Internet. All of us are the Internet, one huge interconnected series of smaller networks."

"Oh…"

"In my small network, there's this reality, one where I split up with Logan and Hank sort of stepped in, a world when Etana, the Black Angel didn't die and a world where Curt wasn't taken. I find it easiest to converse with those worlds and to persuade my counterparts to follow a particular course of action as they are closest to me in personality and outlook. Jamie is a mainframe, one huge computer with a single hard drive and processor but a huge number of terminals. He has more processing power at his fingertips that Reed could ever **imagine**. Of course he's going to be smart."

"You just said your son is smarter than Reed."

"Reed is just one mind. Jamie is a million minds, all neatly wrapped up into a tiny, really very cute package."

They sat back and listened to Jamie and Valeria.

"Did she just tell him the twelve times table?"

"I think she did. Don't be too worried Sue. Jamie has made it his mission to learn every language in the world. He's already fluent in English, Spanish, Japanese, Mandarin, German, Russian, K'Meer, Shi'ar, Kree and Skrull. He learns them in different realities. One of them learns something, they all do."

"Don't you and Logan use Japanese for private conversations?"

"We **used** to. Now we leave notes on the fridge, written in Cyrillic and using the Japanese phonetic. Sometimes we add German to the mix, just to throw Jamie off the scent."

"Does it work?"

"No. Jamie asked what a rather embarrassing word meant. I banned Logan from leaving dirty notes around our rooms."

"The word being?"

Tora leant in and whispered it in Sue's ear.

"Logan actually **writes** stuff like that?"

"That wasn't the worst. I've taken to setting them on fire when I find them."

"Well at least he shows an interest in you. Give Reed an experiment and I **swear** he forgets he's married."

"Yes. Hank's like that in 8667. My response is to go down, help him finish the experiment then stay in the lab all night."

"Reed never lets me near his experiments."

Tora grinned.

"Hank hasn't had a problem since I showed Reed and Tony up at a code-cracking meeting. I mean, it was just **ASCII**. How hard can that be to break? But no, three of the most intelligent men in the world just sat there and stared at the screen with blank expressions on their faces."

Sue burst out laughing and the two children looked up.

"Mommy?"

"Maman?"

"Don't worry Val, we're just having some down time."

"That's nice Auntie Sue."

"He uses contractions?"

"And negatives and metaphors. Very good metaphors. Like… What two-year-old knows the words tsunami and glacier? Jamie apparently."

"What did he say?"

"That Maman will come down like a tsunami on anyone who hurts him and she's more patient and dangerous than a glacier. I think the man who kidnapped him soon learnt what Jamie meant."

There was a dangerous silver glint in her eyes. Sue nodded.

"What did you do?"

"Half-filled his lungs with water then removed it. **No one** threatens my children."

"I know the feeling. I'm amazed you didn't kill him."

"I didn't want Jamie scarred by the thought of seeing his mother killing someone."

"Oh, that's nice. I have skirted very close to expanding a force field inside a human body because they kidnapped my children."

"Oh, I have to remember that one. Do you think ice particles in the arteries is just a little too horrific, especially when I would increase them in size until the blood vessels were torn apart."

"I'd save that for someone who tortures your children."

"Did I tell you about the time HYDRA kidnapped Jamie and they were all so afraid of what Logan and I would do to them, they gave him hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows in the vague hope we wouldn't hurt them much."

"Did it work?"

"No, it just made Jamie hyper. We have to regulate his sugar intake."

"Hyper? Oh, tell me about it…"

"How's Franklin by the way?"

"I think he's planning to do something crazy with a rocket and I **know** Johnny's helping him."

"Careful with your son Sue, he's the most powerful mutant we have at the moment. Even Magneto knows he could never stand up to Franklin if they were both at the height of their powers. Oh…"

"Tora, you just trailed off."

"Time in alternate realities is relative. Some realities have time going slower, some faster. There's one… Oh…"

"Tora, are you alright."

"Yes. Yes, I'm fine. Imagine a mutant who is… all of us, except Franklin. An empathic mimic. And Franklin. The Phoenix and the Dragon."

"Tora, I thought you were the Dragon."

"No. I held it for a time but… Franklin was the perfect avatar there, as…Hope is the Phoenix avatar there. You may not have realised Sue, but Dragon is masculine. The two most powerful mutants of all time, standing side by side. And we follow them Sue. We follow them everywhere, because they are more than **gods**. Together, they could level Asgard."

"By 'we' do you mean mutants or everyone?"

"Mutants and…well, we're leaving."

"What?"

"We have two of the most powerful cosmic entities as our leaders. We're leaving Earth. People hate us. We're leaving to colonise somewhere and design it so other mutants can follow us."

"You're actually **leaving**? Tora, what happened to keeping the world safe?"

"We keep the world safe from **mutants**. We all follow Franklin and Hope. There are no dangerous mutants left. People still hate us, so we're leaving."

"Can we go back to Dragon being masculine? Does Logan know?"

"I assume so. He asked if the Phoenix Force and the Dragon Song were responsible for the Chinese legends. I assumed they were and he just nodded."

"But you're a woman."

"Yes, I know that."

"You have a masculine entity inside you."

"And?"

"Doesn't that strike you as odd?"

"No."

"Tora, I know you have very few inhibitions about male/female gender roles, and that you seem to take great pleasure in doing both traditional male and female jobs, but **seriously**? A male being takes residence in your head and you don't bother to ask **why**?"

"I happened to be in the right place, at the right time, with the right powers and the right basic personality. Also, I'm naturally left-handed."

"What?"

"Left-handers… oh, never mind."

"I thought you were right-handed."

"Ambidextrous, but only through practice. I'm a natural leftie, but when they tie your hand up onto your right shoulder from behind, you learn to fight, write and balance with the other."

Sue instantly moved her right hand to her left shoulder. Tora shook her head.

"No, my elbow was at the small of my back."

"But…that's impossible. You'd have to…"

"Dislocate the arm. I know."

"They **did** that?"

"It worked."

"I can't believe you're talking like this!"

"Sue, torture was an everyday occurrence for me. Seriously, I was **happy** that's all they did. That's why… That's why I was so mad when I found out about Curt."

She turned back just in time to hear Valeria tell Jamie he was 'smart', which from her was like a proposal. Sue whistled.

"Okay, we are **never** letting those two go out when they're teenagers. Can you **imagine** the children?"

Tora went pale.

"I don't even **want** to think about it.

* * *

><p>"The best laid plans of mice and men…"<p>

"Okay, no need to rub it in."


	112. Interruption

**Memories**

Interruptions

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She stood tapping her foot, waiting for Logan to enter the building.

"What is **wrong** with you?"

"It's just…well, **Etana**. This is where she pretty much looked after me."

"I know. That's one of the reason's I brought you here. So you could properly remember her."

"The other reasons?"

"One, you're killing yourself and I wanted you to have twenty-four hours out of the loop. Two, I really wanted to have you alone for a while. Sue's looking after Jamie and Eva, and I don't even **want** to know where Curt is."

Logan shrugged then stepped into the old stone building. Etana's Eyrie had been pretty empty for a while, because it was too small for more than five students and a teacher to be sent to at any one time and it was isolated to a ridiculous degree. Logan touched the heavy oak kitchen table and smiled.

"This is the same. Look, you can see where I slammed down a pan that had just come off the fire."

The circular black ring had faded with age.

"She made me polish that table for **three** hours as punishment."

Tora smiled.

"What else?"

"Er… I spilled soup all over that corner and she made me pry up the stone flags and mop it all up to stop it smelling?"

Tora couldn't help it but started snorting with laughter.

"She actually made you **clean**?"

"Yes, okay. Etana was able to terrify me into obeying."

"You were a clumsy teenager, weren't you?"

"Tell me about it. She made me walk around the kitchen with a pot of water on my head and a bucket in each hand. Then she'd swipe at my legs with a staff."

"And the point was?"

"She **said** it was to improve my posture and balance, but I think she just liked being sadistic."

There was a moment's silence then Tora burst out laughing. Logan rolled his eyes.

"You loved her really!"

"Of course. She showed me what a **real** mother should have been. My mother threw me out when she found out I was a mutant and she was so distant before. Etana joked with me, taught me how you should behave, let me cry on her shoulder, when I had nightmares, she'd come and rock me back to sleep, singing that ridiculous lullaby."

"The 'Blow, the wind blow' one?"

"No. That was Miss Douglas. She was the mint scent I told you about."

"Who was Miss Douglas?"

"She was my governess-cum-nanny. I made her life hell, but she never got mad at me. Beautiful woman, so of course my mother hated her. She had these dark hazel eyes, like I've never seen before. Red hair, but not really dark red like Jean's…or Rose's for that matter. She was going to be married to a teacher back east and took the job to help pay for their married life."

"What happened?"

"Her man died. Never found out how. She just pretended nothing had ever happened and stayed on to look after me."

"And?"

"She was so kind, all the time. I never heard her say an angry word to any of us. When I almost drowned, she didn't yell like my grandfather. She just hugged me and made me promise never to scare her like that again."

They'd reached a door with 'James' burnt into it. Logan smiled oddly.

"She said this would be my room for as long as I lived. Charles said he kept the students out. It's just like I left it."

"Show me."

The door opened and Tora almost burst out laughing. The room was small, cluttered and very, **very** messy.

"I'd say it is **exactly** as you left it."

He blushed but grinned.

"That was a present from Etana. I made that bone whistle out of a deer leg. Oh, I'd forgotten about that! What?"

For Tora was shaking with silent, uncontrollable laughter.

"WHAT!"

She pointed wordlessly at the open wardrobe and then doubled over. Logan glanced in and went pale.

"I never knew **why** she got me those!"

**They** were a series of suits, fashionable at the turn of the last century, and a child's suit, sombre in black but offset by the lace collar. Tora was giggling and Logan cursed at whatever had made Etana keep those clothes in such good condition for so long. The whole wardrobe stank of mothballs and the clothes were probably the most sans-moth items in the world. Tora finally stopped her laughing and started looking over the rather messy desk. Logan instead was staring at the other piece of furniture in the room, a huge piece of looming carpentry that must have been teleported in because there was no **way** that had been manoeuvred through the door and he knew from experience the bed was made of one solid piece of carved oak. Tora turned.

"What?"

"There was a story behind that. I can't remember what, but… nah…"

She smiled softly.

"We have twenty-four hours Logan. And it's your call."

He tilted his head in an almost child-like manner, offset by the less than innocent gleam in his eyes.

"I have an idea or two…"

* * *

><p>Jean started snickering but shut up at the glare the ice eye gave her.<p>

"What?"

"You, that's what."

"I didn't say anything!"

"You **thought** it. I saw that sneaky little daydream about what happened next!"

"Well, you can't blame a girl for having a- mmmphh"

"Thank you Death, I was incredibly close to hitting her."

* * *

><p>They lay together, her head resting on his chest, his fingers playing through her hair. There had been no sense of urgency, no fear that in a second Curt might start hammering on the door wanting some random social eccentricity explaining or the alarm might sound. There had just been him and her and all the time in the world. Like when they had been in the mountains of Shikoku in the three weeks after their marriage and there had been no interruptions, no <strong>complications<strong>. Before she had faked her death. Before he had got his memories back. Before she had become Dragon. Before he joined every super-hero team going, as well as disappearing for long periods of time, leaving her to juggle family, teaching duties, responsibilities as a senior X-Man and cross-referencing reality. Before knowledge of past loves and the knowledge that the other's 'greatest wish' had been to gain their memories and have a close friend back respectively, instead of being together. Even **Scott **and** Emma** had managed to be together. Tora shifted then tilted her head in the way Logan had learnt meant she was listening to Dragon.

"We thought –assumed really –that we'd always be together. Why wish for something that's sure to happen?"

She'd done it again, read his mind without being a telepath. He looked down at her face, resting gently on his chest, rising and falling as he breathed. Her eyes were closed and there was a look of peace about her. Even when she was asleep there was always the slight furrow of the brow that meant she was filing away every second of the day, memories being sorted out and conversations filed. As soon as that was done the nightmares would start. And all he could do was hold her close and whisper encouragement to her. She'd once told him she could hear every word he uttered when she dreamed and he clung to that in the vague hope it helped her. But now she was relaxed and her guard was down. There had only been three other occasions when she had ever been this relaxed. And none of them had been at the mansion. There she was always reserved and calm, the responsible mother, teacher, X-Man and wife. But when they were alone and safe she'd allow the smooth veneer to slide gracefully away to reveal the wild and uninhibited side of her that was the true heart of her personality. The part of her both Weapon X and Sabretooth had tried to crush and simply been met with steel. The part that breathed freedom and brought out the good part of his feral nature. The part that was Tora, not Dragon. His hands moved from her hair to her back, brushing the X shaped scar that marred the otherwise smooth skin.

"Suppose you're right. I've already got you. What more could I want than an unattainable thing? Tell Dragon thanks."

She smiled, opened her eyes and made as if to get up. As her body rose, he tightened him arms, pulling her back down towards him. She smiled again, began to lean in so their lips were almost touching. Then a fierce beeping made her stiffen up, her eyes widening with fear. Frowning, Logan released her and rooted around in the bag they had brought, pulling out a small pager with A on it and tilted his head to one side.

"I didn't pack this."

He turned to look at her, expecting to see her frowning. Instead she was deathly white and shaking.

"No… I…I didn't think…not now…"

"What?"

"It's started… We shall be torn… no…"

An insistent buzzing came next. The pager with an X. This was big. He dove for the small radio they'd brought and started tuning it in as Tora dived for the bag. News about the Stamford accident caused by the New Warriors had barely penetrated his brain when she threw him his uniform.

"Why did you…?"

"Just in case. I've been having the warning buzz for a while now."

She was changed by now.

"Grab my hand."

"We can't get Connecticut from here."

"I nicked one of Fury's teleporters."

"When?"

"Ages ago. He was annoying me so I pocketed it."

He wanted to laugh but the look on her face was one of pure terror.

"Grab. My. Hand."

And then there was the familiar feeling of being crushed and burning light that came with teleporting through Etana's dimension.

* * *

><p>"She always had to be first on the scene."<p>

"What **I** want to now is how she knew to pack that stuff."

"Haven't you felt it Jean. The feeling something terrible is going to happen. It comes part and parcel with being Phoenix or Dragon. Temporal sensitivity. Of course, you had a habit of being dead when all the really important stuff happened."

"No need to rub it in."


	113. Dying in Stages

**Memories**

Dying in Stages

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

They appeared right in the centre of the blast zone and Logan was horrified to see how few people were there. She released his arm and gasped. He could see what hurt her so. It didn't look like a town. The ruins they were standing in had been a school. They did the best they could to help the rescue teams until the others started turning up. For hours no one spoke, the looks on their faces speaking for them. Then the Sentinels arrived. He could see it was all getting to Tora. Especially when she picked up the body of a boy of about three and he could only watch as she gently rocked him back and forth, whispering softly in French as she walked to the area at the edge and placed him down with the same care that Jamie gained when she tucked him in. Jamie… And now every tiny body Logan saw was his son or daughter, their body blackened by the explosion. Later he walked up to Tora and found her kneeling by a girl whose injuries were so bad Logan was amazed she was still alive. He could tell there wasn't any way in hell the girl would survive and Tora was just crouched there, holding the blackened hand.

"Am I going to die?"

Tora's mask was soaked with tears.

"I'm sorry."

"It hurts…"

"Hush child, shh. Yes I know… I know… Such pain… It will go… Don't be afraid. What comes next is so beautiful. Don't fear Death. She will care for you. Won't you."

Tora was staring at something in the air, something Logan couldn't see. She tilted her head. Death bowed her head to her.

_Dragon._

_Death._

_You care so much… Why?_

_Because I am human._

_You are a naïve fool Dragon. And I envy you._

_Look after her for me._

_I will Dragon._

_Thank you._

But none of this was apparent to Logan. All he saw was Tora kneeling next to a child then carefully picking her up and limping to the edge of the disaster line, walking along the boundary line then finding a woman and bowing her head before handing her sad little bundle over and pressing a hand to the woman's shoulder. Then she walked over to Scott, exchanged a few quiet words. The pair walked over to Steve and Stark, A few more words spoken, her tone low and pleading. She nodded, confirming something. And then, over the armour's speakers, Stark's words rang out over the site.

"Clear the area! I repeat, clear the area!"

Logan sprinted over to her.

"What the %&$ are you doing?"

She turned towards him, her mask soaked with tears.

"I heal Logan. That's what Dragon does. And if I don't heal this, what does that make me?"

"This is too big…"

"I heal entire **worlds** Logan. **Worlds**. Think about that."

"That's not you talking. That's Dragon."

"I can't choose to ignore this _Carcajou_."

Her private name for him on a field of desolation hurt.

"Now go!"

He didn't want to. Every instinct screamed to stay, to protect her. But Rachel ordered him with her mind and Tora's eyes pleaded. So he walked to the edge of the disaster zone and looked on with everyone else. Her head was inclined and next to him, Kurt began to whisper the words he knew she was saying.

"Oh Father in my time of need, strengthen me."

Then the waters began to gather around her as she threw her head up to the sky and screamed. There was nothing human about the scream. It was primal and dark and full of pain and anguish and it filled the entire silence that covered the dead city. The dragon increased in size, until she was a tiny speck at the heart of it all, the flesh and blood centre of a tsunami. The scream hadn't stopped, the volume had intensified and Logan was so, **so** close to running out to catch to, to hold her close, to whisper that she didn't have to do this.

But the dragon was roaring as well and then Tora's claws slammed into the ground. Wave after wave of water span from her, only to stop at the edge of the desolation. And the scream that no one could have thought could get worse, did. It wasn't primal anymore. It was **ancient**. She was struggling, trying to pour more and more power into the area. Suddenly she slumped forward and the waves stopped. Logan ran, desperate to reach her. He skidded up beside her just as she pulled herself up and pressed her hands back into the dirt.

"NO! You can't do this!"

She looked up at him, mask torn, the four scars on her face reopened, blood mingling with tears.

"I…I can't heal this… I can't… It's fighting me… This is something I can't change…"

"I… I thought…"

"Some things are so important they **have** to be. Thing's we're not allowed to change. This is one of them. I…I heard the others screaming at me… Ordering me to stop… All of them Logan…"

She looked devastated. Then she whispered, so quietly he could barely hear…

"Even Jean…"

"Jean… but she's…"

"Jean can no more die than I can. She's alive. We converse a lot. But she's busy."

"Jeannie wouldn't condone this…"

"Phoenix would. And that's the most important thing to remember."

"What's so important about now?"

"It's…complicated…"

And then she slumped forward, face smacking into the ground as the exhaustion took over her.

* * *

><p>"I mean really. You should know better than to pour that much energy into something that should only take a tiny spark to fix."<p>

"It gave a lot of extra life-force to Phoenix."

"So **that's** why the universal population rose so sharply."

* * *

><p>"She's fine. It's just fatigue. Seriously, Tora will wake up soon and be perfectly alright."<p>

She half moaned and instantly felt hands clasp to each side of her face, pressing the oxygen mask uncomfortably close to her. She was lifted up and someone was holding her tight.

"Thought I'd lost you…"

She smiled slightly, trying to ignore the images of burnt bodies dancing in her mind, burnt bodies with her children's faces.

"You aren't getting rid of me that easily. Eloise"

A cool hand was placed on her forehead. Reed.

"Dragon, you gave us all quite a scare. Next time you decide to use enough power to call the K'Meer, Skrulls, Kree and Shi'ar, please tell us. They all thought something terrible had happened."

"It did Reed. It did."

Dark brown eyes met hers.

"Stay with us Tora. We need you for what's going to happen next."

"Where's Logan?"

Silence.

"Reed. Where. Is. Logan?"

"He…he went after Nitro."

She sat up straighter and tore the oxygen mask off, leaping up and ripping out the various wires. Then she looked down at her loose hospital robe in confusion.

"How long was I out?"

"Fifty-two hours. You've given us all quite the scare."

"Oh…"

Somehow it seemed the most appropriate thing to say. At the moment she was torn between worrying over Logan and panicking over the time she had spent away from her children.

"Curt, Jamie and Eva are fine."

She relaxed slightly.

"Thank you…"

"Sue's been looking after them. You can see them. Not out there of course," he warned as she moved towards the door.

"Reed…"

"I will not let you out of this room Tora. We still don't know the full extent of the damage."

"So I'm **damaged** am I?"

Reed knew he's used the wrong words but couldn't take it back.

"I…er… I'm just saying we don't know the affects of channelling such huge amounts of energy."

"Reed, I know my own limits. I know what will kill me and what won't. So far, only a black hole has managed to do it properly."

"You've never channelled that much energy. Tora, the only place I've **ever **had readings like that was Asgard!"

She smiled oddly.

"Reed, has it ever occurred to you that I might be spending an awful lot of my time doing Dragon stuff?"

"What do you mean?"

"Time's irrelative Reed. I spend enough time each week in the Library to keep up with the filing, but no one notices I've gone."

"What library? The school's one?"

"No. **The** Library. The Library of All. I am the Archivist of Reality after all. Didn't you **know** that?"

Reed glanced over at Eloise who shrugged.

"This is the most I've ever heard her talk about Dragon. Normally she just rolls her eyes and goes on to another topic after saying it's similar to asking about that unfortunate mental disorder. You just don't do it."

"Reed, don't you think it's a little telling that spaghettification is the only way to kill me?"

There was a moment's silence. Then Eloise went "What?"

"Spaghettification. It's the death type when you fall into a black hole and your legs are travelling faster than your head so… Ouch is a pretty good descriptive."

Reed blinked.

"I'm impressed."

"I had to find out how I died. Apparently I'm the first human to try it. Sadly, I stopped before I reached the wormhole."

Eloise edged out as Reed began bombarding her with questions. She was soon followed by Tora, who was flexing her hand.

"That felt good. Reed's trying to peel himself off the wall right now. Do you know where the kids are?"

"You punched him?"

"No. I slammed him to the wall. I think he's still unpeeling himself."

"You really are violent Tora."

"He wouldn't let me see my kids."

"Okay, he deserved it."

A boy of eight skidded past them, turned round and grinned.

"Hi Tora! Jamie's playing with Val and Eva's dismantling Dad's latest invention. Curt's helping."

"Thanks Franklin. What exactly **is** Curt doing?"

"I think he's taking it to pieces to see where the little elves are that make it work."

"Who told him that?"

"I think it was Uncle Johnny…"

"Tell your uncle to go and peel your dad off the wall. I have to go and explain electricity to Curt. Again…"

* * *

><p>"Oh, Franklin Richards, such a sweet little boy."<p>

"Don't you mean, sweet little boy with almost unlimited power?"

"Yes, well…"


	114. War

**Memories**

War

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

The arguments had raged for hours. Scott, Logan and Tora were there as representatives for both the X-Men and mutants as a whole. Scott because he was the de-facto leader, Logan because of his further reaching tendrils that allowed him to have contacts not only with U.S. teams, but Alpha Flight as well and Tora, as she remembered everything said, a useful skill for an important conversation like this and also gave the wider reaching aspects, especially with Dragon's sometimes dry comments explaining more…universal points. She'd removed the mask, leaving only the silver metal headdress. No one mentioned the fact a series of charred blue pieces of cloth had been found outside the Xavier Institute, or the fact that in the last week she'd been back on active duty, she'd gone barefaced, wearing only the headdress, despite the whispers regarding her mutilated face. Scott spoke up.

"What's the general consensus?"

Everyone turned to look at him. Iron Man was the one to answer.

"As far as I'm concerned, Stamford was our wake-up call, what alcoholics refer to as a 'moment of clarity'. Becoming public employees makes perfect sense if it helps people sleep a little easier."

"I don't believe I'm hearing this! The masks are a tradition. We can't just let them turn us into super-cops."

"Are you kidding? We're lucky people have tolerated this for as long as they have Sam. Why should we be allowed to hide behind these things?"

"Because the world ain't so nice outside your ivory tower bub."

"Tell me about it Stumpy. You think Johnny would have ended up in hospital last night if morons like you wasn't out there givin' us a bad name?"

There was the dull thunk of metal hitting rock and Tora groaned and flexed her hand as the skin started to grow over the exposed metal.

"Who knows? But if they're forcing everyone to work for Uncle Sam, then I think a whole lotta people might just hang up their tights."

"The secret identity thing isn't such a big deal. The FF have been public since the very beginning and it's never really been a serious concern."

"Yeah, well… not until the day I come home and find my wife impaled on an octopus arm and the woman who raised me begging for her life."

Tora nodded.

"I agree. There is still a great deal of anti-mutant sentiment. I will not have my children registered for what they were born as. I have fought against a mutant registration act for five years and I will **not** allow them to tear down everything I have worked for. Also, I'm not a U.S. citizen and I have little love for the U.S. government," the claws chikted out, "I've still not forgotten what they helped do to me. And also, what's the rule for people like me who answer to a higher authority? I'm not even fully human anymore. It's fine for you Stephen, everyone **knows** he's a sorcerer. But I'm **not** prepared to make public the fact that I share my head with an anthropomorphic dragon that represents knowledge."

_I agree. It is foolhardy for my presence to be bandied about._

"I'm the librarian of all knowledge. Will the Government ban me from saving lives if I refuse to give them the specs for faster-than-light travel or a whiteout bomb? Even if I feel humanity isn't ready for it yet?"

"A whiteout bomb?"

Xixy answered as the alien representative.

"The whiteout bomb was designed by a race of intelligent humanoids who originally created it as a way of removing diseased flesh. It was changed for military uses. The first one was ridiculously over-powerful and ate all organic animal matter on a planet-wide scale. Other races found the plans and tested it under more suitable conditions and discovered how to design a working whiteout bomb. Recently the United Confederation of Planets decreed whiteouts to be an unacceptable method of warfare. Quite rightly as well. It gives us K'Meer an unfair advantage."

"You see? I am not prepared to give the ability to destroy all life in a tailored radius to a group of war-happy savages. And I don't just mean the US."

"Uh, does anybody feel we're being a little **paranoid** here? After all, this is just speculation at the moment, right?"

"No, this has been building up for a long time Nighthawk. Stamford's just the straw that broke the camel's back. This is the end of the way we do business. You can smell it in the air."

Tora nodded softly.

"I understand Daredevil. I'm getting all the warning signs. Just like the Decimation. Dreams, itches in the base of the skull, that feeling you're being watched. All of it. Something big is in the works. Something bigger than a stupid law. Something terrible is going to happen. This is just the calm before the storm. The air pressure is dropping, the clouds are gathering…"

Dragon finished for her.

…_Someone is going to die._

* * *

><p>"Would the words 'really, <strong>really<strong> accurate' be amiss here?"

"Not at all."

* * *

><p>She was collapsed with Hank and Scott on the sofa, eyes closed and regulating her breathing as the stress of an eight-hour trial in front of the Living Tribunal was dissipated. She was slightly surprised that she'd managed to be dragged up in front of the ultimate court twice in six months. Apparently that was some sort of record. Especially for a previously exemplary cosmic entity who spent most of their time as a librarian of the highest order. Tora was apparently the catalyst for the change. Some were congratulating her on coaxing the shyest cosmic entity out of its shell, others were cursing her twenty-fourseven. Xixy and the other K'Meer thought this was brilliant.

She opened her eyes when Tony's voice reached her brain from the TV. She looked around and frowned.

"Where's Logan? I thought he wanted to watch this?"

"I think he went off half an hour ago to give Eva a bath and put her to bed."

"Hasn't anyone **told** him? Eva requires an hour and forty-five minutes to get to sleep. She doesn't like getting her head wet and needs to be read at least three chapters of a book. I find 'On The Origin of Species' gets her to sleep quickly. Knowing Logan he'll be reading something delightfully twee and suitable for a ten-month-old. She hates those books."

"You do know your kids have a odd taste in reading material Tora."

"Tell me about it. Jamie loves genetics, physics and chemistry, Eva likes fantasy violence. She is **far** too like Logan."

She turned back to the TV as Tony began explaining why he was backing the Act. Logan entered and flopped down next to Tora.

"Your daughter is hell to get to sleep."

"**My** daughter? Logan, Eva is so like you, it's scary."

Hank inhaled sharply and they turned to see Spider-Man drop down on the TV screen. Tora groaned.

"Peter, what are you **doing**?"

"…and it's only after a long talk with my wife and family…"

"He wouldn't be so **stupid** would he?"

"Logan, this is **Peter** we're talking about."

"Good point."

"My name is Peter Parker and I've been Spider-Man since I was fifteen years old."

"He was."

Tora stood up.

"Excuse me, I'm going to ring MJ. Then I'm going to see if I can delete the past three days from my mind. I hate that pompous Tribunal."

* * *

><p>"Her and the Tribunal. A love-hate relationship if there ever was one."<p>

"They couldn't stand the other's guts but had a grudging respect for the methods employed."


	115. Life for Death

**Memories**

Life for Death

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

_She blinked back the tears as she placed the white gold ring with the sapphire, diamond and ruby into the envelope and sealed it down. The room was odd now. Half was cluttered with mechanical devices in various stages of disassembly, the other half was impossibly clean, all the belongings stuffed into the bag. Marie sighed, picked it up and walked out of the room. Outside, Logan leant against the wall._

"_Look Marie, if you want to stay…"_

"_How can I stay with him Logan? This is against everything I fought for."_

"_You know, when I first saw him with you I couldn't believe my eyes. He had a reputation then and I told him if he hurt you, he'd suffer."_

"_Thanks for looking after me Uncle Logan."_

"_Yeah. Look, if you want me to-"_

"_No. Clean break. I can't stay. The EDI is crying out for doctors with a history in hero training."_

"_You're the best you know. Everyone knows Dr Circen, the Avengers doctor since the beginning. You're as much a fixture as Jarvis. Whoever has you are the real Avengers."_

_She smiled softly._

"_I know you're giving up a lot for me with this. What if they catch you?"_

"_I'm Wolverine. I'll have an excuse."_

"_Or you could just tell them the truth."_

"_What, that I rescued you from Weapon X when you were two and I've been looking after you ever since?"_

"_Well you have. Every birthday you'd turn up with a present from somewhere exotic, every Christmas a package would come in the post. Come on Uncle Logan, we all know how dull my life would be without you."_

_He smiled back and they walked out to a car. Marie frowned._

"_You stole an X-Man car? Brilliant, we're sure to be pulled over now."_

_He shrugged._

"_It'll get you to the Canadian border. And if we're pulled over, I'll just lie. Can you imagine the field-day the press would have if I was found in a car with Tony Stark's fiancée?"_

"_Ex-fiancée."_

"_Sorry. I know you're mad Marie, but just-"_

"_Bill Foster is **dead** Logan! And Tony as good as killed him!"_

_She snarled._

"_I wasn't even that close to Tony. All he knew about was the healing. I didn't want to tell him about the claws or the senses. He…he'd want to know everything, would start running tests to see my capabilities. It's better we split before things got worse."_

"_Just keep telling yourself that. Then maybe you'll be able to live with it."_

_And at that she began to cry, harsh, gulping tears._

"_Logan… I…I don't know **what** to do… He…He did something… terrible… but… but…"_

"_You still love him."_

_She nodded mutely and he pressed a hand to her arm._

"_Go. Then come back when he's realised what he's done. And how special you are."_

_She smiled weakly and he pressed down on the pedal, speeding their way to the Canadian border and a flight home._

xXx

_The man looked at her._

"_Are you certain that if we take this down, all the robots will stop?"_

_She nodded sharply. It had been five years since she'd found him in the sea, five years since she'd dived in and dragged him up the beach and through the forest to her cave, five years since she had melted the ice with her fire and warmed the man inside to life with her own body heat. And then she'd told him. About the Black Angel who appeared after World War Two and told the world of the mutants and tried to explain it all to them. And for five years, it had looked like it would work out. The Black Angel began to plan forming a worldwide mutant support group for children whose powers were destructive or self-harming. And then she disappeared, was killed some said, was kidnapped and used for experiments said others. And three months later the U.S. passed the Mutant Control Act, resulting in any mutants being regarded as 'dangerous' were culled. This had soon changed to 'kill all mutants' and compulsory blood tests at birth. Even other powered people suffered. The Human Torch was reduced to scrap, Namor and the Atlantians were wiped out with a francium bomb right to the heart of Atlantis, a group of four astronauts landed and had gained powers and were taken for 'debriefing'. Their bodies were found a week later. And in the heart of it all was Weapon X. A team of people who decided for the safety of all mutants, some should be turned into weapons to defeat the Sentinels and their mysterious leader, the Shadow Sentinel. _

_She had been the ultimate weapon, the one designed to destroy them all. Ξ. The Greek letter used as a name and descriptive, the letter burnt into her back. She had been the best. The strongest, the one destined to lead the Pack. An extinct pack. The Sentinels had come and destroyed them all. Sabretooth had died first, followed by Feral. Only Wolverine, the alpha male had lasted for any long and he was soon brought down. For some reason the Sentinel had almost hesitated before blasting him. She had escaped and survived. And now she was back to destroy the Shadow Sentinel, the First Sentinel. The Master Mold. Creeping past, Xi glanced at the relic of a bygone age. Captain America followed, his shield gripped tight in his hand._

"_I still can't believe they kidnapped a mutant and released a virus into his system to turn him into the Master Mold. Apparently he's still conscious of everything he's doing but is unable to stop it."_

_Xi shrugged._

"_This is my world Captain. Everything is harsh."_

_They moved softly until they reached the main room. And froze. A figure stood in the centre of the room, a metal figure wired up into a huge computer. The figure was female and oddly, the face was still organic. The eyes were closed and the hair was shorn short. Cap froze._

"_Shadow…"_

_The eyes snapped open, revealing gleaming silver._

"_Organic Designation: Captain America. Designate: Super-Soldier. Designate: Threat. Solution: Terminate."_

"_Shadow!"_

"_Subject shows signs of recognition of host. Accessing data banks. Accessing…"_

"_Please Shadow…"_

"_Is that the Black Angel?"_

"_Yes… Oh Shadow…"_

_The huge mass of wires behind the metal body twitched and it became apparent they were metal feathers, then the body stepped off the pedestal._

"_Shadow Protocol Initiated."_

"_Please Shadow…"_

_Suddenly razor-sharp metal feathers were flung towards them and the shield was only just brought up in time. The figure moved again and a gleaming blade started to form out of her fist._

"_Terminate."_

"_Shadow…"_

_And a tear sprang up on the woman's face, as the sword was thrusted towards Xi's chest. Again, the shield intercepted the blow but the sword swung round again and slammed back. This back-forth motion of parry-attack-shield continued as the organic face cried softly and silently. Suddenly the sword stopped and the face registered real emotion._

"_Do it…"_

"_Shadow…"_

"_KILL ME!"_

"_Shadow…"_

_And Xi leapt under his arm and impaled the woman through the chest, tearing out circuitry and wires. A slight trickle of blood ran down the woman's face._

"_Thank you… Make this…world…a…paradise for…us all…and…for…you…"_

_And the metal melted away, leaving patchy black fur and numerous cuts from where wires were implanted. Xi stood up._

"_I have done what I was trained to do."_

_Cap shuddered._

"_I…I couldn't have killed her…"_

"_I know. That's why I did it."_

"_I never knew her real name. She was just Shadow."_

"_She wanted to die. She wanted peace. And we can respect that. The Sentinels are gone Captain. We can live now."_

"_I know. Live and love."_

_And the man whose life she saved held her close to him._

"_We can love…"_

xXx

_She stood in the door and **glared**. Etana was leaning over the desk, her wings strapped flat to her back and her hands in cuffs behind her back. The three SHIELD agents dragged her upright and Tora saw the inhibiter collar tight around her neck._

"_Etana?"_

_Etana shrugged slightly, as if to say 'what can I do?'_

"_Hello Tora. Can you cover this class for me? I recall you have a free period."_

_Anger welled up inside her._

"_Let. Her. Go."_

"_I'm sorry Ma'am. Mrs Rogers has an influence over a number of high-ranking SHIELD officers and is the wife of a known fugitive. We have to take her in for questioning."_

"_Sir, if I recall correctly, Etana Bat Aleka is exempt for SHIELD protocol on the grounds that she is your Rogue Agent. The one who does the jobs no one else can do. Or wants to do for that matter. She does the unofficial jobs that you all know need doing. As a result, SHIELD does not have any jurisdiction over her."_

"_But she's not Etana Bat Aleka anymore, is she? She's Etana Rogers and there's nothing in the paperwork about that."_

"_Tora, seriously, it's no big deal."_

"_Etana, you're the one who always warns us of them 'disappearing' us."_

"_It's not disappearing. Dum-Dum will keep you informed."_

_The men moved to grab her arms and she neatly walked forward, out of the door. Tora hurried after her._

"_Etana, you can't just let this **happen**!"_

_Etana stopped and turned._

"_Listen Tora. Commander Hill has made it quite plain to me, it's the X-Men or Steve. I'll have to sell one of you out. And I won't do that, so she's taking me in right now."_

"_Etana, what… Why?"_

"_Look, I'm in a difficult position and everyone knows it. I hate the registration act and my husband is leading the anti-reg forces. However, I also am a member of a team that has sworn neutrality and I'm an unofficial employee of the enforcer of the act. Therefore, I'm torn three ways. Best to have me in custody, especially given my reputation and the amount of favours I'm owed by senior SHIELD staff. Most of whom were junior when I first met them."_

"_But…"_

"_Goodbye Tora."_

_And the SHIELD agents pushed her into the car. The last thing Tora saw was her face, a single tear streaking down it._

xXx

_She limped to the stall and started shovelling, knowing the man was watching her. She moved the pile of filthy straw to the pile in one corner and threw water down over the cobbles before placing down more straw and leading the horse back into the stall. The water and food had been changed and now she limped to the corner where the dirty straw lay and shovelled it into the cart. As she did so, the chains around her feet clinked. Finally, Rogers, not Lord Rogers or Lord Steven, just Rogers, spoke._

"_You like working here."_

_She didn't answer._

"_Look, I know you understand every word I say. I'm not that stupid, no matter what you think. Would you like me to talk to you in Wildling? I'm not fluent but I suppose I can get my point across."_

_She didn't answer, merely moved the cart around in a wide sweep, allowing the chain attached to the wall to flick outside and get her out of the main stables and into the courtyard. Other 'Witchkin' hurried about their business, none of them wearing chains. People glanced and the whispers increased._

"…_Wildling…"_

"…_.attacked…"_

"…_dangerous…"_

"…_killed…"_

"…_Logan…"_

_She ignored it all and emptied the cart before going back and leading the next horse out of its stall. Rogers spoke again._

"_You aren't a slave you know. We don't believe in slaves here at Aingeal, but if you were free, you'd run. We couldn't get you from the slave market without having you branded, not without questions being asked. You'd run and you'd be caught and they'd see the Darkwing crest on your shoulder and they'd kill you. You know Logan didn't have any orders to buy you. He saw you and he saw that Porter was going to buy you and he saved you. You know what Porter is, don't you? He runs a brothel and there are lots of men who'd love to hurt a Witchkin girl. And you'd have struck out because you're Wildling and wouldn't take any of it and they'd throw you into the arena to die. Oh, and you'd die. They know how to kill Wildlings now."_

_She didn't speak, just worked on cleaning out the stall._

"_All you have to do is give us proof that you won't run and the chains will be removed. I know you like working with the horses and according to Max, you have basic skills as a farrier. Which means you weren't born Wildling and Tora is just your taken name. Do you want us to try and find your birth family? Or not? All you have to do is open your mouth and talk."_

_She snarled and hit the metal blade of the shovel onto the stones. Then she swept round and spoke in the Wildling Tongue._

"_I don't want your pity or your offers of friendship! I am Tora, the Dark-Runner, Pack-Sister of Cassa! And I don't care for your humans. I am Wildling and Wildlings will inherit the earth! This the Father Wild-King has taught us!"_

"_Rather pitiful isn't it."_

_The words were in Wildling and she span round to see Logan leaning on the doorframe._

"_You act like you hate us all but you accept our food and our hospitality. By Wildling Law, that makes us Pack."_

"_You are no Wildling! You accept the humans!"_

_She noticed Rogers leaving quietly, leaving her alone with the third most powerful person in the household, after the Lady Darkwing and Lord Rogers. Max, the metal worker had a high level of influence but Logan was the most senior freeman, almost a bond-son for the Lady. And Wildling, but he had lost the right for any of the Father Wild-King's promises because of his acceptance of the humans. She snorted with the idea that he would have to make the Mate-Bond with a human or one of the weaker Witchkin. The Father Wild-King's instructions on them were ambiguous. They were kin, but only like dogs to wolves. They were to be treated with kindness but would not have the honour of being Wildling. And now she was alone with a Packless Wildling. Cassa had taught her the dangers of the Packless as opposed to No-Packs. No-Packs were normally either nomads who preferred to hunt alone or young adults striking out on their own to see if they could carve out a pack or join an already functioning one. Packless were those driven from their pack and who were to be shunned by all. And he was standing just out of her reach._

"_I know you think I'm worse than dirt but you have to **listen**."_

_She didn't answer, merely sent a particularly filthy clod of straw his way. He dodged and caught her arm, ignoring her snarl._

"_Etana and Steven are good people who care about all of humanity, Witchkin or not. You act like we're all dirt, but it makes you look bad. Hank's already a full freeman. And he was brought up three months after you."_

_She spat at him._

"_You're just **domesticated**. You're worse than the humans!"_

_And suddenly he was pinning her to the wall, ice-blue eyes burning with a glacial fire._

"_You. Know. **Nothing**. I wasn't made Packless for any reason other than my son was stronger than me and my Pack Leader decided my son suited his purpose better."_

"_Liar! No Pack Leader would chose to throw out a good hunter for **politics**."_

"_Yeah, but most Pack leaders don't pretend to be the Father Wild-King."_

_Her blood went cold. Romulus. The words had reached her Pack of two that the Father Wild-King was walking upon the earth again and all loyal Wildlings must go to him. Cassa had instantly made them run the eight nights until they reached him. And to their horror, they had been separated almost instantly. Cassa had been taken to the female area and Tora had stood in fear as the Pack Leader had stalked towards her. Then he'd laughed and clapped her on the back, asking her about her journey, offering her food. Then he introduced her to his Beta, a handsome young male who had made it quite obvious he was considering her as a potential Mate. She had almost taken him up on it. She couldn't do much better than a healthy, strong young Beta. Then she had realised the lack of females in the Pack and found its terrible secret. In total violation of the Mate-Bond, Romulus had herded the females into a pen for use by all the males. Cassa had been dying but she had given Tora a message. Romulus wanted her healing halter combined with the Beta's pheromone controls. As soon as she had produced a son, she would be culled. In desperation, she had fled, followed by her prospective mate. In her fear she had fallen into a hunter's pit and been sold to the slavers. She stared at Logan, a newfound respect in her eyes._

"_You stood up to Romulus?"_

"_I guess you knew him?"_

"_He killed my Pack-Sister and tried to make me mate his Beta. A male named Daken."_

_Logan stiffened and she guessed instantly._

"_He's your son, isn't he?"_

"_Yeah."_

_Tilting her head, she split her lips in a feral smile. Then offered out a hand to Logan who looked at it, back up at her then blinked._

"_Really?"_

"_Of course."_

_He snaked out a hand and grasped it before raising his eyebrow at her. She nodded then began._

"_Father Wild-King, hear our plea."_

"_Father Wild-King, hear our plea."_

"_Let the hunt be good."_

"_Let the hunt be good."_

"_Let the land be rich."_

"_Let the land be rich."_

"_Let the rest be long."_

"_Let the rest be long."_

"_Let the Pack-Song ring."_

"_Let the Pack-Song ring."_

"_Lead this Pack in their hunt."_

"_Lead this Pack in their hunt."_

"_In your eyes, we are sisters and brothers."_

"_In your eyes, we are sisters and brothers."_

"_Pack now and forevermore."_

"_Pack now and forevermore."_

_They released hands and nodded at each other. Then Logan grinned._

"_I doubt you'll need those chains now."_

* * *

><p>"If Akhiro and Marie Circen bred, would the offspring be the super-ferals that Romulus expected?"<p>

"Three out of eight hundred offspring had the desired powers."

"I hate your cocky 'I know every tiny little statistic' routine Miss Super-Intelligent-Cosmic-Entity."

"You love me really."


	116. Fallen

**Memories**

Fallen

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Emma was in the middle of talking to Tony Stark when Tora ran up.

"Mike's been eating glue again. I need you to explain why it's a bad idea."

"Again? Right, I've just sent the image of dying horribly slowly and painfully to his head. He should… Yes, he's stopped."

"Emma, you're a honey."

"How's Jamie?"

"At the moment he's trying to explain to Hank how Earth-87623 has anti-grav cars. Unfortunately his English doesn't stretch much further than 'floaty zoom-zoom cars' without using 'antimatter engines' as well and he doesn't understand them yet so can't explain them to Hank. Hello Tony. You were just leaving weren't you? Can I have a word?"

She saw a flicker of hope in Tony's eyes as they walked out a little way.

"Are you joining us Tora? We could really do with someone like you on our side."

"Tony, I believe Earth-5671 gives my answer to that."

"What?"

"I walked out. On you. Three months before we were due to be married. Anyway, my teenage son has just decided to run off and join Cap. Don't worry, he'll be grounded for a very long time when he comes home. And I've been ordered to remain neutral. So after this, I'm going off to find Steve and then I'm going to do exactly the same."

"What? Wait, Steve kept teasing me about that. You walked out on **me**?""

"Tony, you may be an arrogant twerp but most of the time you're basically OK. So I'm sorry about this."

"About what?"

He gasped as his head snapped back from the force of Tora's punch.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY **IDEA** HOW MUCH FILING YOU HAVE GIVEN ME TO DO?"

Tony was clutching at his mouth, using his sleeve to staunch the blood.

"Don't worry Tony, Steve will get just the same treatment. But I am **already** behind on the filing by about three decades and I now have a planet-wide emergency to sort! I don't know whether to put Bill Foster's death slip into 'Criminals' Deaths', 'Heroes' Deaths' or 'Bloody Stupid Deaths'! The Divine Wrath folder just spat it right back out. Oh, watch out for the Thor clone, it'll always be rather temperamental."

"You have a folder marked Divine Wrath?"

"It's one of the thickest folders. Normally, dying when it is incredibly unlikely I try to put it in Accidental Death but most of the time it spits it out and the file ends up in Divine Wrath. It's the folder that takes all the other difficult to file deaths. Normally because most people upset at least **one** minor deity in their existence. Oh, I could tell you about the man who upset the Camatari god of hiccups. Thirty-eight years of constant hiccupping that eventually ruptured his diaphragm."

"There's a god of **hiccups**?"

"The Camatari have a surplus of gods. Now shoo. I've got to go and punch Steve."

* * *

><p>"She did as well."<p>

"Yes, but she had to wait for him to be resurrected."

"Well **obviously**."

* * *

><p>Poison was looking at the man in red and black.<p>

"Whoa… You're DEADPOOL!"

"Yeah. Gotta problem with that Symbi-Boy?"

"Can I have your autograph?"

There was a moment's silence. Then…

"I can autograph your handcuffs. I've got my orders, take in any anti-reg forces."

"What, you're doing **what you're told**? I thought you were **cool**!"

"You… think I'm **cool**?"

"Way cool!"

(Really, **really** cool.)

_**I like him.**_

Deadpool grinned under his mask.

"Okay, I'm letting you off with a warning. Here's my autograph. And a Deadpool Rocks t-shirt."

"YAY!"

"I have a fan! Wait a second… You're Wolvie's kid!"

"Yep!"

"My fan is **WOLVIE'S **kid! Oh boy!"

(You think we should get out before this building blows up?)

_**Good point.**_

"Er, I should mention, I set this building to blow up."

"You are one cool kid. Let's go!"

The two ran out, dodging falling masonry and leaping out of a window as the building exploded. They started tumbling down and Curt caught Deadpool's belt and swung away onto another building. The merc looked up and burst out laughing.

"You're okay Kid! Oh, boy, I am going to have so much **fun** with you!"

"Can I be your partner?"

"No. Sidekick first, then partner."

"Duuudddeee."

"Sidekick or nothing."

"Okay!"

* * *

><p>"I did so love the look on his parents' faces when they saw him with Deadpool."<p>

"Oh, please don't…"

She was standing staring at the TV in silence. Logan was shaking his head.

"It's a fake. Cap wouldn't die. He **couldn't**."

"I…I have to go and speak to Etana…"

_The body bucked up at the restraints as Tony looked at Tora._

"_Don't judge us on this. She wouldn't let us take him away. Just kept clinging to him like he'd come back if she held him tight enough."_

"_Tony, that's your **best friend's widow** lying there! Why?"_

"_She's managed to incapacitate eight of the best SHIELD agents trying to get to him."_

"_She's **mourning** Tony. And that's the way she does it."_

"_What, ripping at her own arms to draw blood?"_

"_She thought she lost him in the War Tony! Of course she's going to take his actual death badly!"_

"_We can't talk to her. It's like she's forgotten English."_

"_Let me talk to her."_

_Tony nodded and the door slid open. Tora walked in and easily slipped into Hebrew._

"_Etana?"_

"_-my love, why? Adonai, please… Steve… Steve…"_

"_Etana."_

_She rested her hand on Etana's arm and silver eyes suddenly met hers._

"_He's gone."_

"_I'm sorry."_

"_He's left me again."_

_The words were flat, emotionless._

"_I only just learnt what love was and he has to go and leave me."_

"_I…Etana, I'm really, **really** sorry."_

"_He left me all over again. He just stared at me when he died."_

"_I know."_

"_I've been having dreams about him dying but I just thought it was a subconscious fear."_

"_I'm here."_

"_I know."_

_It was like the old Etana was back. The Etana who never allowed the tiniest flicker of emotion to cross her face, the Etana who would and could kill a roomful of people for the lives of a thousand without batting an eyelid. Not the woman who teased and joked and talked of starting a family. The woman who had learned what love truly was._

"_He left me. And I HATE HIM!"_

_She bucked up at the restraints again, wings unfurling and snapping the bands. She pulled herself up and tugged at the inhibitor around her neck, pulling it loose and snarling._

"_I HATE HIM!"_

_And then she broke down into angry, wild sobs and her nails began to tear at her face, leaving red tracks to be washed away by the tears._

"_I HATE HIM!"_

Tora withdrew and saw from the look on Logan's face that she had subconsciously been relaying the conversation to the others.

"I'm sorry."

And she ran out, knowing that someone else needed her more than they did.

* * *

><p>"I never thought the screaming would be so bad."<p>

"That wasn't the worst of it Jean. Oh no."

"What?"

"Didn't I tell you why she went missing?"

"No."

"I'll tell you later."

* * *

><p>She was sitting in the room, watching everything. Logan was outside, a drink in hand, pouring it out onto the ground. He wasn't allowed near Cap's grave, so he did it on Etana's instead as they were 'friends'. And that was the reason Tora was sitting on the window seat, gazing into another world.<p>

_Etana was wandering vaguely along a corridor, eyes dull, hair lank. Her History classes were cancelled, the only place she seemed comfortable was a new room in the sub-levels, refusing point-blank to enter her attic room, the room that she had rarely stayed in but still used. Everyone had realised why when the bathroom had thrown up a bag of men's toiletries. Too many memories, not enough physical proof._

"_Etana!"_

_She turned, her eyes barely changing, the silver now tarnished and bleary._

"_What is it?"_

"_We need to talk."_

"_I don't want to talk about him."_

"_It's not about him. It's…Tana…oh sorry!"_

_For at the abbreviated version of her name, Etana had flinched as if struck._

"_I'm so, **so** sorry. Etana, we need to talk about **you**. And something… Look, just come in."_

_The Black Angel shook her head and Tora sighed, grabbed her arm and tugged her into the empty classroom._

"_I was going to be nice and break it to you gently, but you've annoyed me with your wandering around aimlessly and acting all hopeless. You're Justice's Shadow and you should have. More. Backbone."_

_For the last three words, she slapped Etana's face._

"_You didn't see Steve for three months, right?"_

_Etana nodded._

"_But Tony will have arranged something. A marital visit? Don't lie."_

_Etana nodded._

"_The…the night…before…the trial."_

_In other words, the night before he died._

"_Go on."_

"_Tony placed the cameras on loop. Made sure Dugan was on duty so we could be alone."_

"_And?"_

"_I don't… Tora…"_

"_Etana, I can **smell** it."_

"_Smell what?"_

_And a hand reached out and touched the stomach._

"_Life."_

_There was a moment's shocked silence then Etana burst into tears. For herself. And a child who would never know its father._

* * *

><p>"Is that why she apparently disappeared for eight months, turned up once to say that she was fine then disappeared for another three?"<p>

"How did **you** find out about that?"

"I can't remember. It was millennia ago!"

"Good point."

"Do you remember everything?"

The face twitched and the ice mask swirled up.

"Of course."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>__Well, Krekka has just posted the first part of his Curt piece, 'The Madmen's Holiday'. I am not responsible for what he writes. No, seriously. Well, here's the link. http:/ www. fanfiction. net/s/7829922/1/The_Madmens_Holiday (Minus the spaces)  
><em>


	117. Larynx

**Memories**

Larynx

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She stood in silence, watching as the refugees moved about. Their eyes refused to meet hers and she knew why. She was a mutant with useful powers, who seemed to be widely accepted by the human community and who had recently thrown aside the mask that protected her identity. It was like saying that she wasn't afraid. And she wasn't. She walked along until she found a young woman leaning up against a tree, eyes closed, head bopping to music from the earphones.

"Cia."

The greenish-brown eyes opened and the music stopped. The hands pulled out of the pockets and the girl just **stared**.

"I'm not running errands for you Dragon."

"I don't want that."

The girl turned her head away.

"I'm useless now. All I can do is talk to plants. I can't change. I'm just a normal person."

"A normal person? Cia, you warned us about the Sentinels approaching using your plant network."

"That's all I **can** do now. Before, I could have sent out feelers, stopped them from getting closer. Now all I am is an early warning system."

"Cia, you're more than that. You're a mutant, one of the last two hundred in the world. You have an exceptional gift, and even if you've lost your Secondary Mutation, you're still a lot more powerful than I am. Look at me! I have claws, enhanced senses and the ability to heal fast. You can talk to plants. You can persuade them to do what you want! You don't get lactic acid when you exercise-"

"Yeah, I just get drunk."

"Irrelevant. You're still able to talk to an entire group of living organisms that we can't. And if that isn't power, I don't know what is."

Cia shook her head.

"I'm losing control Dragon. Each day I'm getting weaker and weaker. I can't hear the grass anymore. Soon I'll only be able to hear the trees. And then I'll be deaf and blind."

"If you need help, go and speak to Beast."

"Why should I need help? It's my own fault. No one else can be responsible for me losing everything."

Cia turned and walked away, her head downcast, long black hair shading her eyes. Tora sighed, knowing that Cia's mutation was growing weaker by the day. And knowing Cia knew it too. It hurt to see one of the last mutants in the world drown in their own confusion and loss.

"Cia!"

The girl turned, her earbuds already being placed in position.

"Don't do anything foolish."

She shrugged.

"Why not? It's not like I'm **worth** anything."

* * *

><p>"So bitter, so young."<p>

"Whereas we are all bitter and very, **very** old."

"Yes."

* * *

><p>"KITTY!"<p>

The bullet hit Tora's chest and went straight through her. And when she opened her eyes, she had a second to glance at Kitty's frightened face before the whole bullet swept through her. She swept round and reached out again.

"KITTY! No… Kitty…"

And she gasped for breath again before turning to see the others.

"She's… gone… **and she will return**."

She froze, hands touching her throat.

"What did I just say? What did I just say!"

The others exchanged terrified glances at the sound of Dark Dragon's voice. Then Tora collapsed and the metal woman caught her. Logan instantly tensed but Danger turned her empty eyes towards him.

"She was always kind to me. Even when I was just a machine. I will not harm her."

She pressed her hand to Tora's face, and both beings tensed up.

"I have copied her physical patterns. She is healthy, but exhausted."

"How the…"

"She was the one who taught me of freedom, even if she did not realise it."

And Tora's head lolled back as she was gently passed over to the X-Men.

"We must see if we can help Shadowcat."

* * *

><p>"So <strong>that's<strong> where Danger got that irritating little personality trait from."

"What irritating little personality trait?"

"You know, the whole, mystical secretive side."

"No."

* * *

><p>She staggered and Logan caught her.<p>

"What's wrong!"

"Temporal scream…"

And Emma suddenly staggered out of her office, blood trickling from her nose.

"Psychic scream…"

And she looked up to see Tora's eyes glowing silver as she straightened up.

"**The Messiah comes**."

Logan stiffened as Dark Dragon's voice emanated from Tora's mouth.

"**We will fight for her. We will die for her. She will save us all.**"

"Tora?"

There was none of her previous Dark Dragon antics, which included, but weren't limited to, trying to kill them, trying to end the world and committing suicide.

"**The Mutant Messiah has been born. Find her.**"

And Tora fell down, gasping for breath.

"Dammit Dragon! You could have just **told** me, rather than take over my mouth like that!"

She shook her head as if to dispel the final traces of the almost-possession. Emma knew she hated being used as a mouthpiece, preferring to be told and then to say it herself. Independence was one thing Tora hated loosing. So being used as a channel for Dragon wasn't one of her favourite occupations. Emma was just staring at Tora.

"What?"

"Look, I don't know what I say when Dragon does that."

"You were talking about some sort of 'mutant messiah'."

"**She has come**."

Tora's body was poker-straight, stiff-backed and rigid, a human mouthpiece.

"**Find her. Save her. Let her live and save us all**."

"Er…Can't you just tell Tora this and let her say it in her own way? Your voice is kinda scary."

"**I am Dragon. I am scary. And Tora would insist on running off before I'd properly explained everything…**"

After Dragon had spent thirteen minutes explaining in incredible detail what had just happened, Emma rolled her eyes and hurried off.

"**Excuse me! I hadn't finished ye**- Thank you, that is **quite** enough Mister Mouthy. Emma, get the Blackbird ready!"

Logan rolled his eyes and hurried after her, knowing she would almost certainly be entirely silent the whole journey to Alaska, arguing with Dragon about interrupting and possession.

* * *

><p>"Oh Tribunal, I know <strong>all<strong> about those arguments. 'No taking over my vocal chords!', 'No interrupting my highly detailed description of future events!'. It's so amusing."

"For **you** maybe."


	118. Leave Me

**Memories**

Leave Me

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She just stood there, staring at Cable.

"Tora?"

"Seek me out Nate. I've sent the call out. They will all help you."

"Thank you."

"And for the girl…"

A thin stream of silvery water slid out of Tora's mouth, wrapping around her fingers before following them down to the baby's mouth. A second with a little silver blanket draped over mouth and nose and then it was sucked up into her body.

"A little extra something, just for emergencies. Stay safe Cable. She's our future."

The big man nodded at the slight woman who was dwarfed by him.

"Find other yous?"

"Yes. Except for 87619, 872081, 65, 423, 76193, 451155, 1592324, 48548, 458733 and 45763119. Those ones are all a bit fruity-loops. If you get my meaning."

"You mean homicidal maniacs who have either taken over the world or like killing for fun?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"So, stay out of Earths 87619, 872081, 65, 423, 76193, 451155, 1592324, 48548, 458733 and 45763119?"

"Yep."

"Fine."

"Oh, and Nathan? Try not to kill too many people. It makes the filing hellish."

* * *

><p>"I hate filing."<p>

The two women on either side of the speaker both burst out laughing.

"Oh, we know you do."

"You mentioned it-"

"Every single day-"

"Every single year-"

"Every single century-"

"For every single millennium-"

"Until the universe ended."

"I really **hate** filing."

* * *

><p>Tora was just looking round the ruined room, a mobile hanging over the broken cot. Curt stood behind her, looking worried.<p>

"Did I do anything wrong?"

She turned and hugged him.

"No darling. You saved your brother and sister. That was amazing. It's just…I should have been there. I should have been able to stop this and I left you and them alone."

She stooped down and picked up Jamie's bamf doll, a piece of glass impaling its heart. Then she let her head drop, pulled the little blue toy up to her face and cried. Cried for the children who she couldn't protect, not while she was Dragon, or an X-Man or any of those things. And suddenly the silver headdress flew across the room, out of the shattered window as Tora stood up, angry and wild-eyed.

"No more."

"Maman?"

"No more Dragon. I'm just Tora now."

* * *

><p>"How long did that last?"<p>

"About ten minutes."

* * *

><p>"Tora, we <strong>need<strong> you. You can't just **leave** us now! We're falling apart at the seams!"

"Listen Scott, I will not allow my children to be threatened any longer. I'm leaving, going somewhere, **anywhere** other than here, somewhere they're safe."

"Tora, your children are two mutants out of the two hundred or so left! What's to stop people going after them?"

"They won't **find** us Scott. And if you push it, neither will you."

"Tora, I know your skills as a spy are second only to the Black Widow-"

"I am ten times better than Natasha, Scott. We've had this argument before."

"Fine, but you can't isolate your children forever."

She spun round, eyes wild and gold, not a trace of silver in them at all.

"I WILL NOT LET THEM DIE! CURT WAS THE ONLY REASON MY CHILDREN AREN'T DEAD RIGHT NOW! DO YOU **CARE** ABOUT THAT SCOTT, OR ARE THEY JUST TWO MORE OF OUR DYING RACE?"

Emma's diamond hand caught the fist sent towards Scott's face.

"Tora, can we talk?"

She nodded then padded out after Emma, who was still diamond. Scott looked at Logan who shrugged.

"Don't ask me. I only heard about this when she dropped the bombshell at the meeting."

"How are Eva and Jamie?"

"Eva's fine but Jamie's a bit shaken. I think he's clinging to Hank. He loves the fur."

"Yeah. I think I saw Hank walking around with Jamie clinging to him. Eva?"

"Curt and Charles are with her. Seeing if the empathic link can be rebuilt."

"Why?"

"Curt can look after himself. Eva can't. Eva's sane. Curt isn't. Hopefully, it'll help Curt stabilise and keep Eva safe."

"You're using your son as a GPS for your daughter?"

"Listen, Curt needs some stability. Tora found him talking to **Deadpool**! Of all people, my son has to talk to Deadpool and try and be his **sidekick**!"

"Er… Why didn't you tell us this?"

"It's personal. This is about us as a family. In other words, me, Tora, Curt, Jamie and Eva. Just us."

Suddenly Tora walked out of the room, just **looked** at Logan then walked out.

"We're staying."

"What?"

Emma appeared and smiled.

"Tora's staying darling."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. She just talked and then decided to stay."

* * *

><p>"Duty over heart, over and over again."<p>

"Well, everything did turn out fine. After a fashion."

"You call **that** fine?"

"Well, it could have been worse. She could have killed them all."

"Ahem, I do believe at one point, she **did** kill them all, even if it was only for a moment."

* * *

><p>She glared at them.<p>

"Will the person singing 'San Francisco' please **shut up**!"

"Er… Tora, no one's singing anything."

She frowned. Then laughed.

"Sorry. Etana's idea of a joke. Send a message that keeps playing a song and won't shut up."

"Why isn't Etana singing along?"

Tora's mouth hung open for a second then she turned.

"I'm not at liberty to discuss why Etana is in hiding, particularly with the current climate."

Jamie and Eva seemed more interested in the scenery than anything else, as all the important belongings were shifted to the opposite side of the country. Jamie turned round to Hank, looking disappointed.

"Where are the bang-boom-ships?"

"Bang-boom-ships?"

Tora answered the question absent-mindedly, as she started cleaning peanut butter from around Eva's mouth.

"Hydraulic walkers. Bangers or Boomers. That's what they're called, because of the noise they make."

"How do they work?"

"Four legs, walk across the country. Slow, noisy but cheap, so preferred method of transport for those who can't afford teleportation."

"Teleportation?"

"Etana's fault. She owns the multi-national Shadow Corporation that's sort of taken over the world through complete scientific, medical and economic superiority. She bought out Stark Industries last week. Logan spends a lot of time in a suit, trying to explain to people that Miss Etana **really** doesn't do interviews."

"Why not? The mutant thing?"

"No, she just doesn't want them to know she's the leader of the Shadow Guard. Tony, Warren and Simon are all members. They protect the people and the interests of the Shadow Corporation."

"And Etana gets away with that?"

"She's Etana. She gets away with anything."

* * *

><p>"She <strong>really<strong> needed to notice what she was saying more often. Half the time she was multi-tasking."

"With kids, you need to be able to have a conversation whilst cleaning up faces or bandaging knees."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>__I'm planning another Memories story called _1000 Firsts_, following twenty Toras and Logans through the fifty major firsts in their relationships. At the moment I have nineteen realities. Any requests for a favourite reality?_


	119. Gender Roles

**Memories**

Gender Roles

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Curt stuck his head in the door.

"Santo won't let me have top bunk but if he's top, I **know** he'll fall on me in the night."

Tora jerked her head at the door and Logan rolled his eyes.

"Why me?"

"Because I'm not going into the boys dormitories. Heaven **knows** what I'd find there, even when we've barely finished unpacking. Oh, and did you want the katanas on show or in the box? If we put them on show, they should be easier to get in an emergency, but it would also be easier for others to steal them."

"Put Muzai on show. Tsumi should be kept away."

"You have to have them together. They're matched blades. You can't have one without the other."

"Etana managed it."

She laughed.

"Yes, well, there was only one Etana."

"What do you mean?"

"Work it out Logan."

"Er…There are two of us. And two swords."

"Good work."

She leant forward, smiling at him.

"So. On show or in the box?"

"Er…Maman? Dad? I **am** right here. Can you stop the shameless flirting?"

"What? We're not flirting. Tora, tell him we're not flirting!"

"I don't lie Logan. Now off you pop, go sort out Santo. And no attacking Julian, just because he's dating Laura."

"What?"

"Didn't you know? No, you may **not** threaten him verbally, physically or mentally. Laura's mature enough to make her own choices. I dread to think what will happen to Eva's first boyfriend."

"She ain't having one."

Tora laughed as she started placing the clothes into the wardrobe.

"She'll hate you for it. No scat. Go sort out Curt's sleeping arrangements."

Smiling, Tora smoothed out a shirt before deftly placing it in the open drawer, humming softly as she did so.

* * *

><p>"That was rather disturbing for the poor boy."<p>

"Death, just be quiet."

* * *

><p>"Bored."<p>

She was slumped in the chair, eyes close.

"Did you just say you were bored? Tora, you're **never** bored."

"Well, I normally haven't read all the books we have here that aren't the intellectual equivalent of toilet paper for content, which automatically removes any of the books that Dazzler is so fond of. I've read all the medical textbooks, the chemistry papers. Everything! And it's all in my head when I think about it and I don't want to read it again and the Danger Room is being used and we're not allowed out and Ororo's in Wakanda being **married** and Curt's on training and Eva's asleep and won't wake up for another hour and Jamie's playing at the Richards' on the other side of the country and I've not got anything to mark and I've put everything away and I'm so **bored** because there's nothing to do."

Logan glanced up and smiled. Tora's legs were draped over one side of the armchair and one arm was dangling languidly from the other. Her head was tilted back, eyes closed.

"There is never anything decent on the TV, and nothing **interesting** is happening elsewhere. They're all as bored as I am. Well except 65, but I think that comes under the Discworld heading 'making your own amusements'. If I don't find anything **interesting** to do, I swear I'll start shooting the walls."

"Well tell me about them then."

"What?"

"About the other yous. I want to hear about them all."

"Most are boring."

"Can't be. Because they're you and you're never boring."

She laughed and suddenly changed position so she was sitting properly in the chair, leaning forwards.

"Weelll. Earth-9821. I'm a member of Magneto's Brotherhood under duress. I don't agree with the terrorist acts, but don't think humans and mutants can cohabit. You're an X-Man who is insanely sceptical about Charles' dream. It's rather like Romeo and Juliet… We keep sneaking out to meet each other in the night and because we're the two ferals we always get sent off to fight each other. Everyone thinks we're killing each other half a mile away when we're actually making out. It's rather amusing."

Logan laughed appreciatively.

"And no one's worked it out?"

"Well, I think Charles has been giving you lots of odd looks from what you said and Mystique is **definitely** suspicious, but there isn't anything concrete to go on."

"What else?"

"Er… we've just decided to turn our Pack Bond into a Mate Bond in Witchkin World…"

"That's the one where Etana's… what's her name again?"

"Lady Darkwing."

"Yeah. That one. Mate Bond?"

"Like getting married only a lot more serious. Ferals, or Wildlings as they're called there, mate for life. They'll never take another mate in their whole life. Of course, no one has noticed because I sleep over the stables because I work with the horses and your room is miles away from everywhere **except** the stables. As in, I climb into the hayloft where I sleep, jump out the window, run across the kitchen roof and scramble up half a floor into **your** window. Works a dream. Of course, you sometimes surprise me by being in the hayloft and listening in on my conversations."

"Any other interesting worlds?"

"Umm… Earth-987. Under the tutorage of Professor Charlotte Xavier, and led in the field by the brave Summer Scott, the X-Men, originally X-Girls when there were only four girls, changed when the first boy showed up, Roberta Drake, Icewoman; Henrietta McCoy, Beast; Warrene- her parents wanted a son- Worthington, Angel and John Grey, Marvel Boy. Soon joined by Petra Rasputin, Colossus; Kristina Wagner, Nightcrawler; Sian Cassidy, Banshee; Jorah Munroe, Storm and Logan, Wolverine. After the death of John Grey, Kenny Pryde, called Sprite although later took the name Shadowcat, joined. Shortly afterwards, the X-Men, who were still predominantly women, rescued Weapon X-ii, soon called Torao which means…?"

"Tiger... Wait, that's a **boy's** name!"

"Well, your **birth name** was **Jane** Howlett."

"Oh no…"

"Oh yes. If it's any consolation, you **are** considered incredibly attractive, in a sort of wild way. At least, that's how John described you. Summer and Warrene are more…conventionally beautiful and Kristina is supposedly **gorgeous **under the fur. But then, it turns out male mes are attracted to short, fiery, raven-haired, blue-eyed firebrands. Actually, I'm not really that surprised…"

"I'm a broad?"

"A highly attractive one nonetheless."

"Tora, can you just **stop that**!"

She flashed him that oh-so-innocent grin.

"Stop what?"

"I mean, female me is just…**freaky**."

"You said pretty much the same when I mentioned a male version of you. Your response to the words 'mutton chops' has been violent ever since. I have a sketch of you somewhere…"

The no-longer-bored Tora jumped out the seat and opened the little wood box she kept her notes on alternate realities in.

"Here…"

It showed a small, slight woman curled up on a bed, fast asleep, shortish black hair splayed around a face that was unmistakably Logan's, yet softened slightly. The covers were tugged up around her.

"Oh…"

"Yes. I'm wondering who Scott would think this was if I left it around. This one is Summer…"

A tall, brown haired woman, frown lines appearing on her forehead, delicate red glasses on her nose.

"Oh damn…"

"What?"

"If I ran into her on the street, I'd think she was hot."

"I won't tell Scott. This one's Kristina."

"She looks scarily like Kurt."

"I know. It's the fur. Petra and Kenny."

A tall, well-built woman with rippling long black hair sitting at an easel, a young, brown-haired man leaning over to see the painting.

"Any of you?"

"Do you **really** want to see a male me?"

"You rammed that drawing of me under my nose fast enough."

"Fine."

The face was in the mirror and Logan almost smiled. Tora's features had been changed but it was still recognisable as Tora. There were even scars but the lines were slightly further apart, in keeping with a male's hand. Logan glanced at the edge of the mirror and spluttered.

"Is that **me**?"

"Yes. That was about three weeks before Jamie was born."

"Oh…"

"Jamie being a girl's name. I have a picture of Eitan and Steph somewhere."

"Eitan being Etana?"

"Yes."

"Steph… Who's Steph?"

"Stephanie Rogers."

"No. Just…no."

"Sorry. Yes."

"Can we talk about something else now?"

"I'm not bored anymore. I **like **987. It means I never have all these questions about guys and how they think."

"Yeah, about that…"

"You kissed me first, you proposed and you completely and utterly explained everything about biology to me. I **was** a social misfit at the time."

"Er…how did you know what I was going to say?"

"We have been married for five years Logan. If I wasn't able to understand your thought processes by now, I wouldn't be able to have stayed with you so long, would I?"

"Any **other** realities?"

"765 is always worth a laugh. I do so love to see your face when you trip up over something and pretend it didn't happen."

"Tora, are you deliberately trying to embarrass me?"

She shrugged.

"It's more fun that way."

"How do you know the numbers?"

Tora frowned.

"They're just…there. It's like an automatic response. I **know** them, the same way I know the shades of your smell."

"There are **shades**?"

"You probably have a different analogy. I use shades to suggest…happy, sad, tired, needy-"

"I don't smell **needy**!"

"You do so. You come in all grumpy and angry and needy and I just let you simmer full of anger until you're close to boiling then let you vent."

"Is that when you don't say a word, just…"

She tilted her head and smiled softly.

"Of course."

* * *

><p>"I feel so jealous when two non-telepaths can get into each other's heads like that. Even with me being a telepath, I could never read Scott like that."<p>

"I know Jean. But it was more than most people."

"I suppose…"

* * *

><p><strong><em>A.N. <em>**_Jeanniebird asked why Jamie, in Genius Kids spoke fluently in a number of languages yet later wasn't able to explain anti-gravity to Beast. The reason for this was, whilst he spoke a higher level than most two-year-olds and in more languages, Jamie doesn't know the highly technical language required to explain what he wants to so he resorts to "floaty zoom-zoom cars" as they're the easiest way for him to explain them._


	120. Hurts

**Memories**

Hurts

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She laughed, wild and free as she ran through the streets, following the man who had so unwisely tried to mug a woman in the alley she'd been passing. Derision had changed to fear when a single claw had been extended and now he was running from her as she bounded along, diving through the crowded streets after checking the woman was alright. The police were coming but Tora felt in the mood to do a Spidey on them. She didn't exactly have anything to tie him up with, but she could always improvise. She span down a small alley. And froze, the barrel of the gun right between the eyes.

"Mutie scum!"

"Please shoot. I want the police report to say I was provoked. Also, I want to know whether the bullet would ricochet, rebound or just explode in the gun. I've never had anyone shoot me at point-blank range."

The man almost wavered then his finger tightened on the trigger. What happened next was rather confused, but the doctors said there wouldn't be any infection in the stumps of his fingers but reattachment was impossible seeing as they'd been blown to bits and Tora assured everyone her eyebrows would grow back before too long.

* * *

><p>"Is that why she hadn't got any eyebrows for about a week's worth of paper reports."<p>

"Pretty much."

* * *

><p>"Lost and alone, I will walk the path of the Dragon until the day I die…"<p>

Tora tried to stifle the yawn. She'd agreed to go to M'Keer with Xixy because San Francisco was so **quiet** and there was nothing to do. She hadn't realized that M'Keer made it look like a **party**.

Everything was 'Lady Dragon this' and 'Godly Dragon that'. At times she was close to screaming. M'Keer was a no-go and this was the final night, with a great big religious ceremony where they were trying to foist off a ten-foot long ice sword onto her. Luckily, Dragon had the answer to that. Tora stepped forwarded and brushed her hand the length of the blade. And as the K'Meer watched, their greatest relic gently turned to mist and curled into the small woman who was dwarfed by all but the youngest of their race. And they saw something **more**. Something wild and strong and powerful in the person they had almost been treating as a joke for the last three days.

Tora twisted her head round, the serviceable plait down her back twirling with the movement and she closed her eyes. And let Dragon out.

"**Carn gar tyuqi orto mal. Stal ves Dratura tal Bes mari.**"

Whatever Dragon said had the K'Meer fluttering their edges in happiness.

_Huh?_

_Loyal servants, I thank you. Dragon holds the Shining Blade once more. What **else** was I going to say?_

And in front of the entire Priesthood of Dratura, Tora doubled over, giggling.

* * *

><p>"Well, I must say, that helped the K'Meeri cultural sense of humour a great deal."<p>

"Thank you for those kind words Death."

"What? The K'Meer were **boring** to begin with."

* * *

><p>She stepped out of Xixy's rock ship and scanned the faces already there. Curt barrelled into her, hugging her tight, the t-shirt he was wearing feeling just like normal cotton until you sensed the slight writhing as the symbiote shifted its position. Curt had dispensed of normal clothing, choosing only to wear the symbiote. While it meant washing was a lot easier, it also meant his colour scheme was rather limited as Poison, being young, could only manage black, white and orange. As such, Curt's normal outfit was black jeans and an orange and white t-shirt, he slept in orange and black underwear according to his roommates and when Tora saw him sleepily walk into the social kitchen to snatch food in the early afternoon. And his costume was bright orange, with black highlights. Of course, Tora didn't <strong>like <strong>him going off to do X-Man stuff but they were short-staffed and as Curt had pointed out, he was physically a sixteen-year-old, with a bullet-resistant alien wired into his own body and who liked chocolate far too much to allow him to get hurt. Tora had still broken Scott's nose when Curt was sent on a mission.

"Missed you Maman. Eva told me I was funny today. She said 'Wurt wunny!"

"Hello Curt. Good time?"

"Yeah. You know, Dad's been-"

"Curt…"

"Sorry Dad."

"Logan?"

"Later."

She flashed him **that** look. The one that said quite plainly 'I know you're up to something and I plan to find out **very** soon and then I will put a stop to it **very** quickly'. Logan just shrugged. Somehow, Tora's looks were extremely expressive yet didn't quite terrify him the way her 'I know you didn't do your homework and I want to hear your pathetic excuse' look terrified students. Maybe it was the fact he knew her as well as she knew him.

"M'Keer is nice, but even more boring than here."

Xixy laughed as he took his humanoid form. He'd dispensed with the colouration, now staying his bright neon orange colour the whole time. He was intimidating and he knew it. Seven foot tall, bulky, muscular, bald orange head shining ominously in the half-light of the hanger.

"My entire people should come here. The battles are greater than any we fight for the honour of the K'Meeri Empire."

Curt started bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet.

"Can we go for tacos? Pleeeaaase?"

"Curt, I have only just got back."

"Poison wants them to!"

The symbiote's head reared up off Curt's back.

_**TACOS!**_

"Have you been talking to Wade again?"

"Er… No?"

"LOGAN!"

"He disappears! What am I **supposed** to do?"

She rolled her eyes and laughed.

"Come on boys. Let's go and see what a mess your dad has made while I've been away."

* * *

><p>"I'm surprised she wasn't as forceful about the Deadpool fiascos."<p>

"I think she knew Curt had someone who understood him and respected that, even if she didn't respect Deadpool."

* * *

><p>She pressed her fingers around the bridge of her nose. Logan glanced at her worriedly.<p>

"Are you alright?"

"Just a headache. I think I'll go to bed early tonight."

"Are you certain you're alright?"

"I'm fine Emma. Look, I've probably spent too long in front of the security monitors. I'm **fine**."

She got up and padded out, head cradled in her hands. Kurt glanced up.

"Do you **really **think she's alright?"

"No, but she won't admit it. She'd run to the ends of the earth and refuse to admit to being tired. You **know** Tora almost as well as I do."

"Do you think we should check…?"

"I'll head up."

Logan stepped out of the Alpha team's private rec room and wandered along the corridors to their room. He opened the door and frowned. He couldn't see Tora. Then he froze. Just peeking out from the edge of the bed, a bare foot. He moved swiftly and froze. She was sprawled out, limbs flying, a black-and-gold halo framing her face where she had collapsed. She was halfway through getting undressed, her shoes off and a few button of her shirt undone when she must have collapsed. Then he leapt forward and tried to check her breathing. For a second, it felt like time had stopped, then he pinched her nose and pressed his mouth over hers, sent two deep breaths into her lungs then pressed his hands together on her chest and did thirty chest compressions before returning to the rescue breaths. As he brought his hands back to her chest, he snarled.

"Come on… Come on! Start breathing! Start %$&ing breathing!"

Her eyes were still closed, no response. This was hurting her but she wasn't responding. Not to voice, not to touch, not to pain. After another two rescue breaths, he had to shout.

"KURT! EMMA! HANK! SCOTT!"

Back to the breaths, then to the chest compressions.

"Wake up. Just wake up. Come on. BREATHE!"

"Logan?"

"Kurt, Med-Bay. NOW!"

"_Gott im Himmel…_ Tora…"

"NOW!"

Kurt vanished to get Beast and Logan kept up the resuscitation attempt, not stopping, trying to forget it was Tora. But it wasn't easy. The sternum was laced with adamantium and refused to compress properly, so he knew he wasn't pressing down the full third required to make each chest compression successful. Then Hank arrived and managed to get Tora into the Med-Bay, all the while firing off questions at Logan.

"Did she complain of any pains?"

"Where did she say the headache was?"

"How long did she display symptoms?"

"How long do you think she was out for?"

"HANK, I DON'T **KNOW**!"

And then Tora was being placed on a bed, a mask being snapped in place, needles being inserted into her arms. And Logan could only watch as everything was placed in order and he was hurried out to allow the doctors to try and work out what the hell had happened. And keep Tora alive. Hopefully.

* * *

><p>"Ok, she <strong>never<strong> mentioned that little episode later."

"It's not something she's proud of."

"Why?"

"You'll see."


	121. Surgery

**Memories**

Surgery

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"What. Is. Wrong."

"Logan, that's the problem. Her breathing and heartrate are now normal, but…no responses. She's there but…not."

"So…?"

"Emma's here. She's going to perform psychic surgery. We're going to place Tora in this container and Emma in the other. And Emma wants you, Curt and Nightcrawler to be there as well, going in with her."

"Why?"

"Because Tora trusts you the most. Betsy will be on guard, prepared to lobotomise Emma or Tora if the threat is severe."

"What!"

"Listen, we don't know who or **what** is in Tora's mind preventing her from…being here. I'm as lost as you are."

"What would this 'surgery' entail?"

"Going deeper into Tora's mind that anything before."

They turned. Emma was standing there, dressed in her usual white.

"It will hurt her and me. She could force me out, she could trap me in there, she could tear my mind to shreds. And if Dragon is loose, I will almost certainly die. Tora can normally control it. But if Tora is busy, then Dragon will be loose and er… it doesn't like me very much."

"Should Bets go in instead?"

"I'm nowhere **near** as strong as Emma. Tora's natural defences are a thousand times better than my abilities. You go into her mind, and she does exactly the same back. Emma has enough defences to stop Tora from breaking her. I don't."

"Can we get on with this? If Logan, Kurt and Curt could sit in the back chairs. We've already positioned Tora. All I have to do is sit in and we'll be there."

The three men exchanged glances then nodded and positioned themselves into the chairs. Then Emma sat in the one so their heads formed a wheel, pulled down the helmet and _they were in a crystal gallery, huge and imposing._

_"This is Tora's mind?"_

_"Impressive I know. This is the main gallery. There should be pictures on the wall but there aren't."_

_"What does that mean Emma?"_

_"It means that Tora isn't thinking about anything right now. This is the…forefront of her mind. What she's thinking about right now, what's most important to her at this point. And Curt, do **not** go **anywhere** near the black door. If you do, you will die in the space between realities."_

_Curt's hand snatched away from the huge stone handle."_

I wasn't doing **anything**."

_"Right. We are in the mind. Here, lucidity is a weapon. Here, if you believe it, it is. I want us split up. Me and Logan, Curt and Kurt."_

_"Why that?"_

_"We need at least one family member with us all the time and Look. At. Curt."_

_"What?"_

_They blinked. Then froze. Soft silver light was trickling from Curt's body._

What the…?

_"Dragonborn. That's what Tora meant. During one of our therapy sessions she kept muttering about the Dragonborn. It obviously wasn't Eva, so why was Curt different? Answer, Dragon knew what was going to happen and gave him protection. So Curt will be…while not exactly **safe** here, then **welcomed** as a part of Tora. I'm a highly trained telepath. So me and Logan, Curt and Kurt."_

_"Yes, why **am** I here?"_

_"Because parts of Tora's mind are locked off to me and apparently require **faith** to open. A highly effective, if unnecessary defence mechanism."_

_"Faith?"_

_"Logan, you should know by now that Tora adores playing games like that. Take something like faith in a higher deity that none of the telepaths she is willing to allow in mind have, then lock stuff behind it. There are **voices** behind those doors. I need you to find out what is behind them."_

_"You need me for my faith in God?"_

_"Pretty much."_

_Kurt opened his mouth but Emma shook her head and they suddenly became aware she was dressed in military style fatigues._

_"Er… Emma, when did you change?"_

_"We're in the mind remember_."

_And suddenly they were all dressed in comfortable, practical clothing. Emma smiled then nodded._

_"Curt and Kurt, that way. The Faith doors are that way. Logan, we're going deeper."_

_"Deeper?"_

_"Downstairs. Let's see what the subconscious holds."_

_Curt and Kurt wandered down one corridor, glancing from side to side._

_"What did Emma mean with the Faith doors Uncle Kurt?"_

_"She means your mother is a very smart woman."_

_"Huh?"_

_"Of course, Emma **hasn't** quite thought out what would happen if Tora has decided that the doors can only be opened with her particular brand of faith, which is rather different from mine."_

_"Hey, look!"_

_Curt dived off the corridor into a side gallery. Nightcrawler rolled his eyes. The crystal seemed to have formed a museum, with high arching skylights that allowed silvery light to enter. Just as Kurt was about to enter, Poison shot straight back out, his face contorted in horror._

_"Urgh! Yuk! Gross! How can they **do** that?"_

_Glancing up, Kurt almost burst out laughing at the sign, written in Tora's handwriting, stating 'Private and Highly Confidential- Logan'._

_"Did your parents scare you?"_

_"I didn't know you could **do** that with…yuk. Just…**yuk**!"_

_"Emma said it was this way."_

_And Curt scampered further down the corridor, deliberately **not** looking at the signs that said on them things like 'Unofficial Uses For the Danger Room', 'Unfortunate Interruptions' and so on._

_Meanwhile, Emma and Logan were gently going down a winding, tightly spiralling staircase that plunged into the depths of blackness. Logan frowned and brushed his hand down the central column._

_"Look Emma. Most of the stuff this place is built of is that semi-translucent crystal. But here, there's metal."_

_Emma turned and brushed her hand along the warm crystal, staring at the metal pillar enclosed inside it._

_"It's the chips."_

_"What?"_

_"The digital chips. They're not a part of her brain Logan. They're a part of her **mind**."_

_"And the difference is?"_

_"It's like wearing clothes and the clothes being an extension of your body. That's the difference."_

_"So… The chips are a part of her?"_

_"Of course Logan. What else did you expect them to be? I imagine they were originally… yes, look, the crystal shows signs of healing. Originally, they weren't there but Tora somehow integrated them…ah…"_

_"What?"_

_"When she rebuilt her body, she did it **wrong**. She placed the chips back because she was used to them and Dragon thought they were an **actual** part of her."_

_"So…"_

_"Her mind was fused with the chips. Frankly, I don't want to…ah…"_

_And Emma shot off, leaving Logan to run after her, cursing telepaths who finished sentences halfway through._

_Kurt shuddered as they passed through another corridor. Here the crystal was shot through with black and deep burgundy. And then they stepped into a room Kurt sometimes visited in nightmares. Huge, imposing, covered in blood and gore, and a tiny child cowering in the corner._

_"Tora?"_

_The girl looked up shyly._

_"I'm Marie. I'm scared."_

_"I'm Kurt Wagner."_

_"Oh, **you're** Kurt Wagner!"_

_"Er…"_

_"Tora talks about you loads, says you make life amusing."_

_"Er…"_

_"Look, Jeanne's better for this sort of stuff. This way."_

_And the tiny two-year-old grabbed a hand each and tugged the two men off._

_"I think she's in the next room."_

_The door didn't open. Marie sighed._

_"Tora insists on putting these stupid locks everywhere."_

_Curt reached out but was unable to open the door. Kurt smiled and reached out, fingers touching the slight pattern in the door and pressing a hand flat out. The door instantly opened._

_"Easy."_

_The hall that stretched out before them made them freeze in horror._

_Logan and Emma turned and stopped. A teenage girl was sitting on a step, picking at her fingernails._

_"Hello?"_

_She looked up with a vaguely disinterested glance._

_"Nothing of interest down here."_

_"Tora?"_

_"I'm **Xii**."_

_Emma gave a little ah of comprehension and Logan frowned._

_"What?"_

_"Multiple personality. Logan, Tora has multiple personalities."_

_Xii rolled her eyes._

_"No **idiot**. We're all **Tora** but we're different parts of her. Like…facets to a diamond. You know about diamonds don't you Ms Frost?"_

_"You're all Tora? How does that work?"_

_Xii sighed._

_"I haven't time to explain. The whole stupid gallery's about to fall in on us."_

_"What?"_

_"Some idiot's been trying to get in. Cracked the breach head. Tora and Jeanne are on damage control right now. I'm on guard duty."_

_"Guarding what?"_

_"Her."_

_Then, quiet, trembling, Tora's voice rang out._

_"Help!"_

_Xii stiffened._

_"Don't…"_

_But she didn't have a chance to finish before Emma sent out ropes to tie her up._

_"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!"_

_Logan charged off and Emma followed, ensuring that Xii was held by the living crystal wall. They skidded into a room with a series of huge chairs set in a semi-circle and Logan barely paused, just charged through it into the next room. And screamed. Emma followed more cautiously, searching for the trap and screamed as her bones ached as something boiling and at the same time freezing entered them. Logan was straining then as she watched through pain-drunk eyes, he started muttering._

_"I am Logan. I am safe. I am Logan. I am safe."_

_Military procedure and also, Logan had experienced this terrible pain twice in his life. Therefore, he was soon able to grab Emma's hand and drag them out of the green-stained walls._

_"That was worse than mine. Hell… No wonder she never talks about it."_

_"Was that the adamantium implantation?"_

_"Yeah."_

_Emma shuddered as she felt the last traces of the pain fade away._

_"You lived through that?"_

_"It took about an hour and a half."_

_And he marched off down the narrowing corridor. And Emma stopped him._

_"Beware."_

_And he saw the fluid, the delicate, ghostly fluid and watched as Emma sent a thought down it which was torn to shreds._

_"What?"_

_And somehow Emma shielded them past that deadly trap and Logan just frowned._

_"Why are there all these traps?"_

_"I don't know… Ah. I think I do…"_

_Staring up at them was Dark Dragon, and behind her, curled up, chained to a wall, was Tora, head downcast, body limp._

_"TORA!"_

_Kurt's joyful shout filled the hall and Tora, Dragon and a cat all turned._

_"Kurt? I'm a little busy right now."_

_"JEANNE!"_

_Curt barrelled past the teleporter and hugged the cat._

_"I thought you were sleeping in my room?"_

_"I am. But I'm also here."_

_"Marie, can you help here?"_

_The toddler ran over and sighed at the cracks._

_"Tora, I don't know where Xii is."_

_"Don't worry, she's on guard duty."_

_"Guarding what Tora?"_

_Tora turned as if she'd forgotten the men where there._

_"Myself."_

* * *

><p>"Let me guess. Logan and Emma messed up?"<p>

"Big time."


	122. Escher Mind

**Memories**

Escher Mind

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

**This isn't what it looks like.**

_Dark Dragon was standing between them and Tora. Emma could see Logan working out the odds._

Get her!

_And Emma shot forwards, hitting deep into Dark Dragon's body._

**You do not understand…**

Yeah right!

_Claws slammed into flesh and Dark Dragon screamed as Emma tugged the chains out of the crystal wall then Tora barrelled herself into Dark Dragon's chest._

You loved keeping me like that didn't you?

_And claws tore so deep the dark woman lay still and Tora straightened up, holding out her still bound hands. Logan stepped forward._

Please Logan. Please…

_The claws sliced through the metal cuffs and a wild, manic expression slid across her face._

My friends. So lucky to have you. Sorry but I have to kill you. But 'cos I like you I'll be quick.

_And she slammed into them, claws cutting through flesh that wasn't and laughing all the while._

_Tora's head snapped up._

Kurt, where **exactly** did the others go?

Subconscious. Why?

_Tora, Marie and Jeanne all exchanged terrified looks._

What?

Do you think she's loose?

Almost certainly.

**Who** is loose?

Me!

_Tora shot off, followed by Dragon and Jeanne. Marie sighed and grabbed Poison and Nightcrawler's hands._

We'd better keep up.

_They shot down corridors that moved and shifted to allow them to run faster, the floor somehow moving at the same time, the twisting corridors straightening out so Marie could lead them faster and faster through the galleries and then they reached a balcony (how, they could **swear** they hadn't gone up any stairs) and Marie leapt, pulling them both over with her. Before they had time to scream, they hit another corridor coming up to meet them and charged along that, Marie tugging them faster and faster, the semi-translucent walls distorting, suggesting there were other rooms behind them. Snatches of voices, emotions washed over them._

"_Logan, not now…" Irritation infused with fondness, no bite meant in the words._

_The heady smell of musk, mixed with cigar smoke and beer, all there for her nose to sample…_

_Pure, wild, unrestrained ecstasy, rushing through every fibre of her being…_

_Fire burning her flesh as she screamed, the brand on her chest already healing but still burning, burning…_

_Rare steak, beer, tobacco gently mingling with the always present coffee and mint to create a delicate infusion that made his mouth taste so perfect…_

_But these sensations barely registered as they ran faster and faster down the hall. Marie seemed different, more assertive._

Right, left, open walls, leap.

_Now the images, sounds, smells and emotions were muted, felt only for the briefest instant._

WOULD SOMEONE CARE TO EXPLAIN WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

_Marie didn't stop running, just started spouting out her answer._

Some…idiot has…let…Her loose…and poor old…DD…was battered…

DD?

Dark Dragon. She's great.

_Kurt slid to a halt._

Dark Dragon? As in the World Destroyer?

_Marie shrugged._

I think she feels quite guilty about it. At any rate, she **looks** guilty. She doesn't talk much.

_She grabbed their hands and dragged them faster down the corridor. Curt blinked._

What's the big fuss with Dark Dragon anyway? I'm more afraid about Her, whoever Her is."

_Kurt froze._

Who is Her?

_Marie tensed up._

Her. The one we all fear. We agreed to create DD to keep Her guarded. When DD gets out, you know it's better than the alternative.

You do know you look about two. How do you know words like alternative?

_The toddler shrugged._

I'm Marie.

_Which seemed to be enough of an answer to her so Curt decided not to question it. Then the wall in front of them melted away and they were in a dark room, a body in burgundy stretched out across the floor, silver blood pooling around her. Logan was leaning over Emma who looked as if a wild animal had savaged her. And crouched in a corner was Tora, staring straight into the eyes of…Tora? Dragon and Jeanne flanked the standing woman. A slight raising of the finger and Jeanne leapt over the burgundy woman. Dark Dragon._

Wake up DD. Please.

_Tora was staring at the crouched woman._

Leave us.

**What?**

Marie, see if you can find Xii. Dragon, get Logan, Emma, Kurt and Curt out. Jeanne, see if you can lever DD somewhere she'll be able to get better.

_Dragon nodded in understanding, then leant over Emma's tattered body (was it a body? They were in the mind after all) and **breathed**. Silver mist clouded over her and Emma sat up shivering._

What…What happened?

**We need to leave.**

_Kurt was vaguely aware that something was happening to Jeanne then did a double-take as a creature close to Hank in appearance only orange, plus a thick mane of black fur walked past, Dark Dragon slumped over her shoulder. She gave him a slight grin._

Yeah, this is what I normally look like.

Jeanne?

The one and only. You two better scat. Tora's about to do her alpha thing which really doesn't ask for people to be around.

_And Dragon enfolded them in the wings and the ceiling parted and they flew through Tora's mind, her wild, chaotic mind that ultimately was ordered neatly and yet seemed to have no true pattern to it. Confusing, misleading, contradictory, insane and wild. Calming, beautiful, graceful and somehow perfect in its chaos. In other words, Tora._

_And Tora stood in front of The Beast and smiled a dark and dangerous smile._

What is your freedom worth to you?

* * *

><p>"Oh boy, she didn't actually…"<p>

"She did."


	123. Mind Games

**Memories**

Mind Games

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Emma screamed as she returned to her mind. She was vaguely aware of the men behind her screaming as well. Betsy had a purple blade held to Tora's head, and was just **looking** at Emma.

"What's wrong?"

"I…I don't know…"

Curt groaned then answered.

"Someone's been trying to get in. She was fixing up her mind when Emma and Logan here attacked Dark Dragon-"

"WHAT!"

"Listen and let me finish. These two idiots then released what I can only assume was Maman's dark side. Right now, they are probably fighting for supremacy."

"How do you know that?"

"Dragon told me."

Emma shook her head when Betsy opened her mouth to question further.

"All we can hope is Tora is going to win. If not, we **will** have to kill her. That **thing** in control of Tora's body **and** Dragon's power is not a thing to trifle with."

"Dark Dragon was created as a jailor. Marie told us it was better to fight Dark Dragon than Her."

"Excuse me, but I'm lost. Already."

"You know what Dark Dragon was capable of? Well you know what motivated her. Dark Dragon was insane. But it was random insanity. Her, was that what you called her Kurt? Her is the most dangerous insanity of all. Her is all the pain and hatred left over from Weapon X. Like that, Tora or rather, the shell of Tora will go on an ordered, senseless massacre of every person she can get her hands on, just so the rest of the world feels a fraction the pain she has felt. And believe me, I did and it was the worst feeling ever."

Logan shuddered.

"For a second… I…I thought I was…you know…back there."

"What… Can you guys stop talking so cryptically… oh-"

And Psylocke started to scream as Emma gave her a flash of the pain.

"It was worse than that. A thousand times worse. It was like someone was tearing me apart but it wasn't."

Logan looked up.

"You can't describe that pain. You just can't."

Tora stirred and instantly all eyes were on her. If she wasn't Tora, would they be able to tell? Would they be able to stop her? Would they be able to kill her?

"Who danced 'bout in my head… Whatid I miss? Urgh…brain freeze…"

She blinked then groaned.

"I'm not making any sense am I?"

"Are you you Tora?"

"What sort of stupid question is that? Of course I'm me. Who else could I be? **Don't worry. Mental crisis averted. Because Tora is all the versions of herself you met, she doesn't actually remember interactions in her mind.** DRAGON!"

They exchanged glances then nodded. The straps were loosened and Tora groaned again as she sat up.

"Was it the ice cream?"

"What?"

"The ice cream. After dinner? Was that what gave me a headache? It feels like the head ache Curt got when he ate seven litres of the stuff."

Emma smiled.

"Yes. It was just the ice cream."

* * *

><p>"Ice cream? She actually fell for that?"<p>

"Her head was shattered. She was confused."

"She **had** just beaten her own psyche into submission."

"Can we stop? You're confusing me now, and I'm the one who married into the Summers family."

* * *

><p>"What caused it?"<p>

"We don't know. Someone was trying to get in, and they weren't able to get far. But they damaged her. Tora's mind is…different. All the telepaths know that. It comes of having part of it outside of reality."

"What sort of different?"

Unbidden, Scott, Logan and Emma all glanced through the window to see Tora, who was sitting up in bed, reading, looking thoroughly bored after Hank had delivered his ultimatum. Stay in bed for twelve hours; remain under observation for another six. She had raged for a full twenty minutes about that. Logan looked up.

"You found the telepath yet?"

"No."

They turned as Charles walked into the room Tora was in and bowed his head. Tora's voice rang out loud and clear over the speakers.

"I know what you did."

"It was for the best."

"For the best or what **you** thought was the best?"

"I didn't know."

"No. You didn't."

"Tora…"

"Look Charles. What you did was **inexcusable**."

"It was for the best."

"My mind, Charles. You read my mind. My one place that belongs fully to me. My body has been mucked around with, my learning ability tampered with, my powers increased. My mind is the only place left for me. And you go trampling in, tearing down all my barriers, pushing me and my beast together. Whatever happens next, remember you did this. You and your manipulations."

The three X-Men stared at each other in horror.

"You aren't using your Dragon powers to their limits. We will **need** them."

"No. Listen to me Charles. I am **not** some sort of omnipresent early warning system. I am not your **pet** like Jean was. The Phoenix may have agreed to being tethered to Jean but I am telling you, if you push Dragon, you **will** live to regret it. And I hope I never have to use Dragon to its limits because if I do, then **everything** will have been destroyed. Understand? I am the World Healer. I am hosting inside me the third most powerful being in the universe. Well, Eternity, Infinity, Oblivion, Death and Galactus as pretty powerful but they have…weaknesses. Dragon only has one and right now, I **am** that weakness. But I'm also its greatest strength. So **next time you go digging in my mind, remember that I am more than human**."

She sat back and went on reading her book. Charles looked down then sighed and got up. And walked out, leaving Emma, Scott and Logan to exchange horrified looks.

* * *

><p>"Well, that was a highly typical point. Treating a horrendous thing like that as normal."<p>

"She **was **an X-Man. I don't think **normal** registered in her vocabulary."

* * *

><p>There was a crash as an object flew across the room and shattered. Logan swore and dived into the room in time to see Hellion trying to dodge another thrown ornament.<p>

What surprised him was the person throwing stuff. Tora's eyes were sparking but they were gold, meaning it was something highly personal.

"You. Have. Hurt. Her. And. I. Am. Going. To. Make. You. Pay."

Each word resulted in another object being thrown. Green light flared as the objects slowed but the next one thrown glowed silver and went straight through the green hand, smacking the boy in the face.

"YOU GOT HER HOPES UP THEN DASHED THEM FOR A DEAD GIRL! GIVE ME **ONE** GOOD REASON NOT TO KILL YOU!"

"Tora?"

She turned and he saw something fiercely protective there, like when people threatened Jamie or Eva.

"This piece of…of…**scum** just started talking about his **dead** girlfriend, **whilst** Laura was listening in."

"I was unconscious –mmmpph."

"I haven't given you permission to talk yet."

"Tora, can you remove the water bubble from around his head. I think he's drowning."

"He deserves it."

"Tora, you don't think you're being a **little** overprotective of Laura? I mean, you were the one who told me not to behead him."

She snarled.

"He hadn't hurt her then."

"Tora, you are being rather…overprotective. You do know Laura isn't your daughter?"

She spun round.

"She's your daughter, and that's good enough for me. Understand?"

"Er… Tora…?"

"And she's gone through hell, just like I have so at times, I feel she is more my child than yours. Understand?"

"Tora…?"

"You were an adult. You don't understand. You were not trained from birth to be a killing machine, which is what Laura and I are. So frankly, anyone who hurts her, answers to me. _Compris_?"

She turned back to Hellion and marched towards him. A claw was placed to his face.

"Hurt her again, and you'll have a scar to rival my own."

The boy looked at the mutilated right side of her face and nodded, careful not to move too quickly. A thin trickle of blood slipped down his face anyway.

* * *

><p>"I think that classes as 'overprotective stepmother' don't you?"<p>

"Well, it made up for what she did to Daken."

"Yes, what **did** she do to Daken?"

"You'll see."

* * *

><p><strong><em>A.N.<em>**_ I'm starting exams shortly and a lot of my time until then will be spent revising. Expect updates at a mush slower pace. Writing may be my way of relaxing (and getting great English revision) but if I'm under pressure, I won't write as much. I'm not only working on Memories and 1000 Firsts (2nd chapter -Coffee is halfway finished), I've also finally been inspired for More Than Just A Kiss, the next in my Etana stories. I'm cutting it down a lot as if I'm not careful, I'll have another Memories-sized monster on my hands. Can you believe 1,383KB? 331 pages? 10619 paragraphs? 18530 lines? 198498 words? 893625 characters, not including spaces? 188116 spaces? I can't and I'm the one who wrote it!  
><em>


	124. Dragon Dance

**Memories**

Dragon Dance

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She was just staring at him, eyes dry, in a way, the worst thing she **could **be doing. Just giving him **that** look.

"You have a son who you knew was alive for over a year and you didn't tell me?"

"It was difficult…"

"Logan, I know how old you are. I know you were at an age most people would have died when I was born. You didn't have to hide it. All that would have mattered if he was conceived after we got married. Or actually started officially dating. When was that anyway? First kiss? First date? Declaration of love? Telling the others? Getting engaged? Wait, I'm getting distracted. Close the door. No, everyone out. OUT!"

She shook her head and Logan knew she was putting up the walls to prevent the other hers listening in. He smiled, knowing that what they were about to say would never leave from between them. Her eyes fixed on him.

"Tell me."

So he did.

* * *

><p>Phoenix sat in silence as the long-winded story followed.<p>

"She knew, didn't she?"

"Of course she did. She did speak to Etana."

* * *

><p>She tripped up again and Kurt caught her.<p>

"You really should try wearing a dress and heels more often Tora."

"Stupid clothes. Why can't I go as I normally do?"

"Because, after the fiasco last time when security wouldn't let you in without looking the part. You simply **cannot** go to a fundraiser dance in jeans and a shirt Tora."

"Can I go in uniform?"

"Er… I suppose…"

"Right, I'm getting changed."

"Tora, Emma did spend eight hours looking for a dress the exact shade of your eyes and probably subsidised it a lot."

"Then give it to her."

"You know Emma's thoughts on anything other than white clothing."

"White is a stupid colour. It shows up all the stains and it's hellish to get blood out of."

"Tora, it's a **dance**! How dangerous can it be?"

"You said that about the cocktails party last week."

"Look, I didn't know you were going to have to charge off halfway through to get Curt off the top of a skyscraper!"

"And the dress you persuaded me to wear was torn."

"You ripped it!"

"Have you tried climbing a building in a full-length dress?"

"No but…"

"Well then. Excuse me, I'm off to change."

Tora swept round, her golden dress that Emma had deliberately chosen to flaunt her slight frame and in Emma's words 'enhance the rest of you'. Tora had taken one look at it and instantly slit the side, allowing a leg room to kick if required, shortened the skirt enough to allow her to run if required and Emma had rolled her eyes and brought out another dress with all the alterations Tora had just made and groaned, muttering something about women who wouldn't know designer dresses if you sent them on a year-long intensive training course.

Kurt suddenly burst out laughing, knowing exactly what Emma would say when Tora stepped outside in her blue and silver Dragon uniform. It would involve lots of swear words and insults. He leant up against the wall, grinning broadly.

* * *

><p>"Clothes and Tora. I never saw such hatred towards designer clothes as what she had."<p>

"Well when your clothes had a habit of being destroyed, paying a ridiculous amount for clothes was just stupid."

"Yes, well if you jump in front of a laser, your clothes aren't going to last long."

"She **was** saving lives at the time."

"She leapt in front of a laser and gave all the male X-Men a rather nice view."

"No she didn't. Logan stood rather protectively in front of her until Storm could be persuaded to give up her cloak."

* * *

><p>"<strong>I am the darkness incarnate. Fear me. Fear me. For I am Dragon.<strong>"

The X-Men charged towards her and danced around the jets of water and glossy claws. She laughed and crushed Kurt in an ice-like clawed fist. Next to falter was Bobby, when the ice on his body started to boil, causing him to scream. Scott's optic blasts were refracted to hit Emma and mowed through Jean-Paul and Alison as well. Rogue managed to grab Dark Dragon's face but was sent backwards by a surge of power. Betsy's attempt to enter Tora's mind caused her to fall to the floor noiselessly, obviously dead. Warren landed beside her but instantly found himself pinned down, his wings being twisted. And Logan leapt forward and impaled her through the heart.

"Guys, that was **terrible**."

Tora powered down the Danger Room and glared at them from the control booth.

"Logan, you did okay, but that wasn't a fatal blow. You needed to use the healing halter and I know as well as you do that you 'forgot' to put it on."

"I don't see why we have to do this."

She glared at the speaker.

"Because at the moment, we're on the edge and if I go crazy, it's better to take me out as soon as possible rather than do what you were all doing and hold back. **It** wasn't going to take any prisoners."

"Tora, you're installing in the team the idea you can't be trusted."

"I can't. As long as the threat of Dark Dragon exists, I can't be trusted. I need you comfortable with the idea of me being able and willing to kill you. I will not be that, understand? Take it from me, as your teammate, as your **friend**, know this to be my wish. If I ever become Dark Dragon, I want you to kill me. It would be a mercy killing. And don't under **any** circumstances do what Bets tried to do and lock it away. You saw what happened."

Silence reigned after this pronouncement. Tora sighed and pinched her nose.

"Look, I know this sounds horrible of me, but you **will** need to kill me if I turn again. And one day, I will. I don't know when, or how. But in the end, it will be too strong for me and I'll let it out. And when that happens… You better start praying, even you Emma."

She turned and pressed a few switches.

"We're doing that again. And we'll keep on doing it until you can take me down without any fatalities."

* * *

><p>"That strikes me as rather excessive."<p>

"You never knew Tora properly Death. To die would be better than to kill. Well, **before**…"

"Can we not talk about this right now?"

"Sorry."

"Thanks."


	125. Heart Breaker

**Memories**

Heart Breaker

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

**Warning –The first reality is the Old Man Logan massacre and you may want to skip it.**

_She smiled as she stuck her head in the door._

"_Logan, I'm just putting Eva and Jamie to bed, then I'll come and relieve Jubes."_

_Grinning he swung round in the chair._

"_Thank you! I don't think I could stand another hour of her company."_

_Laughing, the teenager swatted his head._

"_Well don't you get distracted with Tora in here with you. You **are** on security monitoring after all."_

"_Tora's **far** too professional to get 'distracted' on security roster. I still have the scar from last time."_

_Laughing, she prepared to close the door then stopped._

"_Jubes, twenty dollars if you keep an eye on the kids until Logan's shift ends?"_

"_Sure thing Tora."_

"_Knew I could count on you."_

_Smiling, she headed upstairs, tucking Jamie in, telling him a story about the Lonely Angel and turned out the light. Eva was always more difficult as she would stay awake until you finished reading, then would pout until you read something else. She was halfway through The Beast Prince, a half-hour epic Logan had invented when she started hearing the screams. Instantly she positioned herself in the small corridor between the rooms, in such a way it would be impossible to enter either without running straight into her. She shuddered as the screaming intensified then Curt's voice shouted something she couldn't hear, a scream, so high it tore deeply into her heart and then a slight thunk. She bit her lip, the sharp tang of blood so slight no one else would have noticed it. And then the door swung open._

"_Logan?"_

_He was dishevelled and covered in blood, his uniform torn. And he saw her and roared._

"_Get the %£* away from my kids!"_

_And she saw what he saw through Dragon, saw her own body lying spread-eagled on the floor in a pool of blood, saw Poacher's provocative red and black outfit on herself and barely had time to look up before he barrelled into her, claws tearing into her gut._

_She tried to swipe but her killer instincts were dulled by the human thought that this was Logan! Logan wouldn't hurt her! Then she was thrown out the corridor and she landed in something sticky and red and stared into two eyes, one blue, one gold, dull and dead, the red flecks of hair in the black confused with blood. Screaming, she pulled herself away from the severed head and screamed again before she was thrown through the wall and landed on something wooden and soft. A crunch of bone, a mewling wail then terrible, **terrible** silence. And a quiet voice at the doorway._

"_Maman? Daddy?"_

_Jamie, standing in the door, looking in horror at his father, covered in blood, standing over his mother who lay in the remains of a cot, her metal skeleton having crushed the occupant. And Tora saw as Logan's eyes fixed on another enemy, another intruder and threat to his children. And Tora couldn't move as her body slowly started healing itself from the trauma it had received and then she just couldn't move, just stare at the small body in the doorway, crumpled, strings cut by one of the people he had trusted above all. She lay there, slowly bleeding out. She'd cut herself when she'd been thrown but she'd survived worse injuries. Worse **physical** injuries. Not this ache inside her as she tried to move off the small child and cradled her in her arms, not caring about the blood. Pulling herself along, she reached the other small body and pulled that close as well, lying face down on the floor, holding them both to her chest as a scream of realisation reached her, then thundering footsteps up the stairs and frantic cries. A gasp of horror at the boy lying decapitated outside in the main corridor then she was being turned over and horrified eyes stared into hers. And saw her grim little bundle._

"_Tora! Please! Stay with me! Just one! Please, just **one**! I…I want one person…"_

_Her eyes were dull and almost as lifeless as the others._

"_Tora, you can heal. Please heal…"_

_She shook her head slowly._

"_What's…the…point?"_

_And she fell limp in his arms, deciding that death had to be better than **this**._

xXx

_She laughed and kissed him again._

"_Don't you have a world to save, X-Man?"_

"_Don't you have something to blow up, lackey of Magneto."_

"_Oh, he's far too trigger-happy for me. Anyway, I'm not all that sure what he wants me to do now. I keep 'vanishing', although I doubt he thinks I'm going to spend 'quality time' with my husband."_

"_Did I tell you Cajun's trying to get me dating?"_

"_What did you say?"_

"_I have a really nice girl who is a great kisser and who enjoys annoying her friends about her brilliant boyfriend."_

"_Er, frankly, I never mention the fact I'm married or in a relationship. You would not **believe** how much testosterone the Brotherhood throws around. If I didn't have the kind, sensitive, rather hot guy I have right now, I'd have **no** trouble getting a boyfriend. Or do what, us few female terrorists/supervillains who decide to join a group call a 'Karla'."_

"_Karla?"_

"_Moonstone. Hooks up with anything that moves and happens to be vaguely male."_

"_Yes, I meant to ask. How do you, Mystique, Destiny and the Witch cope? I mean, there must be about eight men to each of you."_

"_Wanda has Pietro who threatens anyone who goes near her. Destiny doesn't have too much to worry about as none of the guys like a girl who can tell their future. Mystique is…well, Mystique. She automatically shifts to something they find repulsive. It works."_

"_And you? Because that's now shaping up to be thirty or so guys and one girl."_

"_I stab them. Or threaten to anyway."_

_He laughed and kissed her softly._

"_I don't think my teammates would like the fact I'm married to Tigress, Brotherhood member and assassin."_

"_I've only killed one man in what could be called an assassination and that wasn't meant to happen."_

"_Why?"_

"_I was supposed to be stealing the files."_

"_And?"_

"_He stuck his hand up my skirt. And squeezed."_

_Logan sat upright, making her roll onto the other side of the bed._

"_Damn right he deserved that!"_

_Giggling, she sat up, her eyes sparkling._

"_Who'd have known when we first started to fight that we were getting to know our perfect partner."_

"_I don't take responsibility for this relationship."_

"_Er, excuse me. You kissed me first."_

"_No I didn't. Second fight we ever had, you kissed me."_

"_Yes, then knocked you out and left you tied up at the top of a skyscraper."_

"_Yes. You do have a thing about leaving me tied up."_

"_You're a big boy. You can look after yourself."_

"_Naked? Tied up in the woods with a rampaging Wendigo?"_

"_I dealt with Wendigo."_

"_Yes, by using me as bait."_

"_You shouldn't have let yourself end up naked."_

"_Excuse me. You said, and I quote here, 'Hey Wolvie, Buckethead thinks I have a major grudge and want to kill you. Fancy making our own amusements?' Next thing I know, I'm tied up in the middle of the Canadian wilderness with a man-eating monster on the loose."_

"_That can count as making your own amusements. I had a blast."_

"_I didn't."_

"_I made it up to you, didn't I?"_

"_Yeeess, but-"_

"_No buts. If you want, I can sooth that injured ego of yours."_

_He smiled and pulled her over towards him._

"_Yeah. I think I'd like that-"_

_A sudden beeping made him swear and then Tora's watch started to blip as well._

"_Looks like we're going to have to go and fight. Each other. Again."_

"_Well, I think… yes, it's in… Well, I happen to know a nice, secluded area where we can take our fight off to."_

_He laughed again and kissed her one more time before scooping up his clothes from the floor._

"_Off you go hero. I think I'll make a dramatic entrance when you're about to kill one of my idiotic teammates and save their butts."_

_Smiling, he opened the window._

"_Can't be seen leaving a building that the mutant terrorist Tigress stays in, can I?"_

"_Well, I've been thinking about breaking into the X-Mansion. I've heard all sorts about the Danger Room."_

"_No way. Not for a **long** time. You could always join the X-Men?"_

"_Boring. I like a little badness in my life."_

"_Er, we do sometimes break the law with the X-Men."_

"_The operative word being **sometimes**."_

_He laughed again, picked up his hat and prepared to jump before turning round._

"_You owe me an ego boost."_

_She grinned._

"_Just as long as you don't make me wear the heels."_

xXx

_Etana smiled at her colleagues._

"_I grew up in a rough area of Brooklyn. Orphaned, taken in by my aunt and uncle. I had things harsh. Poor, Jewish, female and black. Not necessarily in that order. And Steve? He was poor, Irish, an artist and white. And that's where we hit the problem. Not the poor, that was fine. Irish and Jewish? Stranger things have happened. But him being white and me being black? We had hell. I was thirteen in sixty-nine and that's when we started seeing each other. It was the moon landing that got us together. Not very romantic, I know. Standing in the cold, outside the electronics store, watching as man stepped onto the Moon. When they said 'The Eagle has landed', he hugged me, blushed and held my hand for the rest of time we stood out there. But it wasn't going to work out at the time. Racism was still quite common. We were eight when we decided we were going to catch a train to the Deep South and go into a whites-only establishment. Because Steve was with me, it would be hard for the owners to ask me to leave without offending him; we thought it would all work out. We got as far as the station before we were caught, dragged home and in my case, thrashed within an inch of my life."_

_Jane laughed at the story. Marc frowned._

"_How did you get here then?"_

"_Steve went MIA, I decided 'What the hell, I'm not living my life in this dump', got a scholarship, did languages degrees, became a translator for the UN. I was on the Rwandan Peacekeepers as a translator for some of the foreign journos –to begin with at least. Worst three months of my life. I had the advantage of having quite dark skin so I could get out and buy supplies. Oh, and marital arts training that resulted in thirteen broken bones in two men who thought I would be an easy target."_

_Marc chuckled appreciatively._

"_You have done a lot 'Tana."_

"_And I hope to do a lot more. I'm not senile yet, young Marc."_

_The three of them dissolved into helpless giggles._

* * *

><p>"Is it just me, or did Etana have a rather bad influence on her in almost all realities?"<p>

"Pretty much."

"Good, so it's not just me."


	126. Demons and Dragons

**Memories**

Demons and Dragons

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She closed her eyes as she stood in the ruins. The black stone was gradually being covered with plants. She considered for a while before only trimming away enough for the name to be read. Somehow she felt Etana would rather be a part of nature than a way of keeping it away. The last couple of snowdrops drooped sullenly as they slowly died. The once gleaming metal helmet that had arrived one night now was overgrown with ivy and lay in state, its empty eye sockets staring up at Tora. She'd never seen Etana wear the helmet but she could see the silver eyes staring out of it all too clearly.

"Hey 'Tana."

She smiled, knowing there would be no answer.

"Well I hope you know how hopelessly lost we all are without you. Life would be a lot easier if you were here. I wouldn't have to pay a fortune in childcare costs for one. You know, you've just had a son. Steve Logan Rogers, who only knows his mother and his batty aunt because you're so afraid Cap's enemies will come after him. And yes, I **am** the batty aunt."

Her fingers dug into the earth.

"Well, I reckon you'd be a gift from heaven in San Francisco. We're all wandering around like little lost children. You'd be a joy to have there. I don't think Scott would be leader for long, as you'd be so efficient that everyone would automatically turn to you for assistance."

Tora leant back, so she lay as Etana did, wondering vaguely about how long it would take for her feathers to decompose.

"I miss you. So much. It's not enough to see you in other realities. I want you here, to laugh at me, get to know Eva and Curt. Jamie knows you well enough but those two will never know you except as we tell the stories. And we can talk about you but how can they know about all the things you were that we can never tell them about. Words don't describe how funny, kind, proud, honourable, unique and…well Etanaish you were."

She laughed.

"And I've just completely and utterly failed to describe you. But then you'd need to be Shakespeare to describe you right, and even **he** made a mess of it. The Indescribable."

She sighed.

"You just died in 295. It was horrible. You saved me from Apocalypse when I was just a teenager, gave me a name, introduced me to Magneto and the X-Men and…well, gave me a real push in the right direction when it came to Kurt and although you got mad with Erik for killing Apocalypse when you wanted, and deserved, to be the one to kill him, what is it with him by the way that means he's obsessed with you?, and well, kept everything nice and neat and tidy and held us all together when Logan's team just disappeared and now you're dead. It wasn't pretty. I couldn't do anything as you deliberately shot the bomb to destroy yourself and the alien that was growing out of you. You knew you were dying and called me 'daughter' just before you killed yourself. Told me that Kurt was a good man and deserved me. And me being stupid, I didn't get it until he stayed up all night so I could cry. Oh, dammit. I'm crying like a little abandoned orphan…"

A low bamf and Tora dissolved into helpless, giggling tears.

* * *

><p>"Oh boy… 295 was how she found out about X-Force, wasn't it?"<p>

"295 was where she **loved** X-Force."

"Oh… Is **that** why there were two Tora's running around the school?"

"Pretty much."

* * *

><p>Kurt's steps calmed her.<p>

"Are you alright Tora?"

She nodded slightly, remaining kneeling on the stone floor.

"You've been in here for six hours."

"I…I need time to think… Here is…quiet. Calm. Everything I need."

"Why kneel?"

"It's a chapel Kurt. One should show respect."

"Kneeling for six hours is a little over the top, even for me."

She shrugged but didn't get up.

"What are you doing?"

"Remembering the dead."

"It's taken you this long?"

"There are a lot of dead."

"Is this a Dragon thing?"

"No. This is a Tora thing."

"Tell me."

She stood up and sat beside him.

"I remember **everyone** who **any** Tora knew who died. Lots of Etanas, quite a few Jeans, Logans and Charleses. Far too many Kurts."

"Tell me."

"Last night I had to watch you shot down in front of me and our –don't get any funny ideas about this Kurt –kids, just because you were a mutant. Our eldest, Anya, was also killed because she looked like you. And I couldn't do anything because of Stephan and Sal. And that's just so stupid and hopeless."

He wrapped his arms around her, cradling her slightly, knowing that this was something quite possibly unique, seeing a time when she was vulnerable and scared.

"I am here Tora. I will always be here."

"I know Kurt. I know."

* * *

><p>"A demon and a dragon. How sweet."<p>

Death suddenly found herself hanging over the pool, the ice mask an inch from her face.

"Kurt Wagner deserved better than what he was dealt with by life."

"And that is why I was the greatest thing that ever happened to him. You think he was **happy** on Earth? Death levels all men to their actions and his placed him higher than any other."

* * *

><p>She teetered on the edge, seriously considering it. She wanted to know what it felt like, to be without support for the time taken to fall. Based on the height of the building and considering drag as negligible it would take five seconds to hit the ground. She wasn't afraid of falling. It was landing that hurt. Her hair swept around her. She thought of Etana, who had died flying. Who in another world hid in the mountains to keep a child safe. The wind was biting and cold. San Francisco stretched out beneath her. She reached out a hand and lined it up with the bridge. The claws shot out and she stared at the blood trickling over her hand.<p>

Since the mental crisis, she'd been…different. Started slipping. Had trouble holding onto this reality. And an obsession with pain. Only her own. She wanted to know how far she could go without screaming, without flinching, without crying out. She didn't blink as grit hit her eyes. She was Dragon. And she was lonely but the others all intruded and she never had peace. Always others wanting reassurance, wanting comfort, wanting to know 'what do I do when [insert problem here]'. She prepared to step forward, knowing there wasn't anyone underneath her. Just to fall. Not to be held up by anything. And she leant forward, about to topple. A hand grabbed her arm and she was pulled back from the brink by _brother-friend-Pack-priest-lover-close-confident-special _Kurt and she **had** to stop thinking like that, slipping through realities so fast she wasn't even aware of it.

"Tora, is something wrong?"

"I'm just…stretched so thin Kurt. Like elastic about to snap. I don't know **what** I am anymore. Am I Tora? Am I Xii? Am I Dragon? Am I something more? Am I all those things?"

She collapsed down onto her knees and shuddered. Soft hands cradled her head and then she was being rocked back and forth, held close to a chest that smelt of _brimstone-lemon-happy-right-home_.

"You are **you** Tora. Nothing more, nothing less. Something unique and special."

She clung to him like a drowning sailor clings to a rock.

"Promise you'll stay Kurt. Promise you won't leave me. I need you. I need you as much as I need Logan. Everyone needs their hero Kurt. I need you to be there for me. I **need** Kurt Wagner."

"I can't promise that Tora. I can promise this though. As long as I am alive, you will always have a friend."

She smiled weakly.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being you Kurt."

They weren't certain how long they sat on the top of the building for, a demon man and a lost woman, just saying a great deal without opening their mouths.

* * *

><p>"You can measure a man by their friends."<p>

"Says someone who has never truly been human."

"I cannot count myself as human yet you two still do, despite having left humanity behind millennia ago."

"Humanity cannot be taken Death. It can't…"

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Basically I was reading Second Coming and Wolverine: Weapon X #16 and crying my eyes out. WHY MARVEL, WHY? I loved the fuzzy elf… And came second in a reading competition after reading from the aforementioned Wolverine comic. (I was supposed to do Jane Eyre but my partner dropped out, leaving me to try and find a monologue in three days). But why kill Nightcrawler, who was the sweetest, most inoffensive, fuzzy, elfy hero of them all? ARGHH! Now I want to get a job at Marvel, just to bring him back. They brought Cap back, they brought Jean back (multiple times), they're bringing Thor and Cable back. I DEMAND THEY BRING NIGHTCRAWLER BACK RIGHT NOW! Right, fangirl rant over._


	127. Balancing

**Memories**

Balancing

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She glowed silver and snarled.

"**I order you to leave this world Skrull. For I am the Dragon.**"

There was a sudden scurrying in the general opposite direction from Tora. She glanced over her shoulder at the X-Men and Avengers.

"**I am here little people. Do not fear.**"

She turned back to the cowering Skrulls.

"**I shall turn your gods to dust and your world to stone. I am the Librarian and I know all.**"

Waves rippled around her and for a second, it looked like Tora was the insubstantial one, that Dragon was the true being. But that was impossible? Wasn't it?

But there was only so far she was prepared to go, and when it came to it, she failed to do what was needed and plunged them all into the reign of darkness. All because she couldn't kill a Skrull named Veranke.

* * *

><p>"She really needed to sort out her moral priorities. Not killing Veranke, killing all the-"<p>

"Ah. We agreed, no spoilers until later."

"Did we?"

"Well, this **is **my realm after all. I make the rules."

* * *

><p>She sighed, then changed channels, knowing the others were looking at her.<p>

"I can't tell the future. All I get are annoying buzzes and right now my head feels like it's about to explode. It's not nice and all I know is that something big is in the works. Which any **idiot** right now could work out by turning the stupid TV on."

"Most people like Osborn."

"Most people are stupid. Even most the people here. Don't take it personally. Almost everyone is. I just have all this **knowledge** stuffed up into my head and I can't let it out."

"Tora…"

"And if I don't let it out then something like a rift in space will happen."

"What?"

"Knowledge equals power and power equals force times distance squared divided by time. Simple physics."

"Er… I don't think that's the same kind of power…"

She sighed.

"I can't remember anymore. There are so many memories that aren't mine. All the memories of all of you. Your memories are something you know, therefore knowledge, therefore Dragon, therefore me. And you wonder why I have a headache."

She pressed her fingers to her temples, eyes half closed.

"It's like I'm deep underwater, and the pressure is weighing down on me and soon I'll be crushed. But I won't go into the submarine or swim back up because I'm too stubborn. And Dragon tries, it really does but every now and then something slips through and I suddenly know something that none of the races so far are advanced enough to know, even the **Celestials**. And that causes me to lose my grip and I slip through the currents of realities."

"Do you need time off?"

"Right now, we can't afford to have me off the team. I take point most often. I leave, our whole strategy is blown out the water –BOOM! We can't set up a new group dynamic for the alpha team within the time Osborn will give us."

"You think he'll attack?"

"After what he did to the Avengers? I **know **he'll attack."

"You really aren't doing a Dragon thing, are you? You're just being Tora right now and knowing far more than you should."

"I **was** taught to read how people think. Osborn will go after everyone who ever threatened him. Spider-Man will be in real danger, the Avengers will almost certainly get attacked, the Punisher, because he's a real and present threat to Osborn's power and life. Tony is already on the run, Cap –James is in hiding with the Secret Avengers, Pym's already in hiding with members of the Young Avengers. And Heaven alone knows where Bruce is. Well, Heaven and me. Osborn won't target the FF because he can't get them for anything and Reed makes sure they have the best lawyers. It's the street heroes who I'm scared for. Northstar, Daz, keep aware when on the streets. Don't do anything he could turn into a reason to attack the X-Men. The worst bit is, we won't be arrested. We'll be **disappeared**."

"I hate to say it, but I sort of wish we had Etana here. You know. To get rid of Osborn."

"SUNSPOT!"

"It's true! She killed people! We all turned a blind eye to it! But she killed people! It was what she was!"

"And so am I."

Logan was glaring at the young Brazilian.

"I kill people. It's what **I** do. I'm a solider, a spy, a killer. And I've killed people who were innocent. She never did."

Roberto looked down, slightly shame-faced.

"She still murdered people."

Tora was suddenly standing up, eyes flashing dangerously.

"Dr Mengle? Heard of him? The Angel of Death in Auschwitz? Etana dealt with him, in a way that no court could ever do. The courts were tied by human rights. Etana killed him, but she did it quickly. She turned up at midnight, called him by his real name and beheaded him. She didn't taunt him, torture him, hurt him in any other way. She gave him a fast and painless death with a sword that couldn't hurt an innocent. The innocents that **he** killed. If he had gone to court it would have been long and drawn out and he'd have lived every day knowing he was one day closer to the day of his death. Jack the Ripper? Left bleeding in a backstreet in London after his last murder and he **would** have struck again. You would have left him to kill again and again until the authorities caught him? Or how about a man who ordered the murder of sixty children to a demon, in order to save his own soul? Then offering herself in place of the children? You call that murder? I call that doing what most people haven't the guts to do."

"You don't do it!"

"I…" She hesitated. "I do not kill because of what I **could** be. I would do it, but if I killed one person for a good reason, then I'd kill again, for a good reason, then I'd kill for not such a good reason and finally I'd end up killing someone who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I would become the very thing we fight. Etana was more than I was. She was always in control. She took no pleasure in killing, and I would end up enjoying it. The blood on my hands would feel…right. So that's why I don't kill. I'm a predator Sunspot. I'm designed for hunting down weaker prey and tearing them to shreds. And killing once would release the animal. Do you want to be the one running from the baying animal who wants to taste blood in her mouth, have gore on her arms? If so, then point me towards a worthy candidate."

She got up and gestured. The silvery-grey cat leapt up from Karma's lap and padded after her, glaring Sunspot.

"Come on Jeanne. We still have that move to work out."

Water flowed about the cat and the silver-grey tiger padded out of the door, silver-blue eyes staring at the others as if she hated them all.

* * *

><p>"Well… She never put it quite so…bluntly to me."<p>

"She needed to make a point. She needed to show them that Etana always did what she had to, not what she wanted to do."

"Is there a difference?"

"Look Death, you don't understand. You aren't human. And never was."

* * *

><p>She was swearing at the radio, spitting out words older than the Earth.<p>

"_Mar das backeral sa cri aos akls hars kald measrwe_!"

"What's she saying?"

"I don't want to know."

"Stupid, stupid, stupid! All those stupid, **stupid** people, who wouldn't know a real threat if it bit them on the backside!

"Did she just say what I thought she said?"

"And then, they moan when we accidentally blow up stuff!"

"-Norman Osborn told the press that his new agency HAMMER would 'fix the mess that SHIELD made under the leadership of Anthony Sta-"

Tora withdrew her claws from the radio and whipped round.

"What?"

She stormed out of the room in a flash of red hair and black dressing gown, leaving Logan and Hank blinking.

"Did she come in from the shower, just to smash our radio?"

* * *

><p>"Is it just me, or was she slightly imbalanced?"<p>

"I think she was always insane, but it was the worst kind of insanity, one so strong and cunning it meant no one, not even her realised exactly how mad she was. It was so clever, hiding as sanity, the madness swirling under the veneer, so well-hidden even she couldn't sense it."

"Are you calling her insane?"

"How else do you think she survived with Dragon in her head all those years, whilst dancing through realities, knowing things no mortal should?"

"Well, you knew her best. I still haven't had the pleasure of meeting her in a professional aspect. Unlike you Phoenix. How many times did we meet?"

"Sixty-seven in total. Normally I was killed in an incredibly painful way. Actually, **you** were responsible for a lot of my deaths."

The host shrugged.

"It's sort of in my job description. And you were Dark Phoenix those times. The advert pretty much said 'must be prepared to deal with Phoenix going gaga'."

Phoenix leant over and hit the back of the head, so silvery-grey hair flew out over the water.

"I **hate** you!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Anyone spot the Discworld in-joke?_


	128. Anger

**Memories**

Anger

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She snarled as she watched Simon Trask give his speech on Proposition X. Then she stood up.

"What of mutants who have already, as you so bluntly put it, 'reproduced'? What happens to those children? What happens to married mutants, or pregnant mutants or a family with only one mutant parent? What about depowered mutants who are just children?"

"Ma'am, all mutants, past and present would be registered under Proposition X."

"But what about mutant children born to human parents? Would you sterilise the parents in case of more mutants being born? Take the Guthrie family for instance, from Kentucky. Ten children, five of whom are mutants, three who remained as mutants after M-Day, one of whom was killed. But all potentially carry this **mutant gene** you keep going on about. What will you do with families like that?"

"The mutants would be covered under Proposition X and the humans would be requested to continue under birth control, however, we would not stop them from breeding."

Her eyes flashed dangerously. The journalist next to her, a dark haired woman, edged slightly away from her.

"And a question about the Cooperstown disaster. What about reports that say it was Purifiers, a rabid anti-mutant group, who blew the place up? The mutant child's X-Gene hadn't been activated yet."

"How do you know this?"

"Almost all mutant powers manifest at puberty, unless the child is under considerable stress. A baby couldn't have the destructive power to blow up an entire town."

"And you know this because…?"

"If it takes ten years of torture, experiments, surgery and psychological torment to make a mutant with a healing factor's X-Gene activate, what would a child with that power require?"

Trask steepled his fingers and stared at her.

"Ms… er…"

"Marie Circen. You may have heard of me."

Silence spread out as she turned and walked out of the door. She span round for one parting shot.

"What about people with no other choice? Rape victims and so on. Or people who don't agree with abortion or can't have one because their body would react violently? I see this Mr Trask. I see everything. And if this goes through, all sorts of terrible things will happen. Sentinels will reign. Humanity will fall. And mutants will only survive because they mutate. The world becomes a place of darkness and loss. Goodbye Mr Trask."

* * *

><p>"I loved it when she got like that. All grumpy and sharp. She was a superb debater."<p>

"Well, 78232 **was **a politician. She pretty much gave her free reign."

"Oh. Well **that's** cheating."

* * *

><p>She stood in horror, the bag dropping to the floor, the jars inside shattering as Norman Osborn announced his new Avengers line-up.<p>

"-Ares, Hawkeye and Wolverine with Tigress on reserve."

"What is **Tigress** doing on the Avengers? I thought the X-Men kept the name."

He smiled.

"Tigress is a proficient martial artist and more than capable. I wanted her on this team for her special talents."

"Even Osborn wouldn't be as stupid… Would he?"

She was staring at her old mask and costume on her own body. Only it wasn't. Osborn the Idiot, as he would now and forever be in her head, had chosen to put **Poacher** of all people on a team. Didn't he **know** what she was? This was the woman who had mauled Maddie Pryor, just because she didn't get the takeout she wanted. It had been a slight shock to find the Goblin Queen on the doorstep, bleeding from numerous almost but not quite fatal wounds and to discover it was because Maddie had bought pizza instead of Chinese.

Logan snorted.

"I hope she gives that boy hell."

"Actually, I would much rather he got rid of her."

He grinned up at her then raised the can.

"To them killing each other!"

She nodded and then turned away to go to the Danger Room and smash something into tiny pieces. It was primitive but oh so cathartic…

* * *

><p>"Well, it works…"<p>

"Yes, smashing stuff is so…releasing."

"PHOENIX SMASH!"

"Well ha, ha Jean. That was **really** mature."

"Oh well then Miss I-Have-To-Be-Such-A-Stuck-Up-"

"Oh for crying out loud!"

* * *

><p><em>Etana's face was soaked in blood. Tora tried again to reach her but the force-field held her back. Etana's eyes were fixed on her face.<em>

"_I'm sorry Tora."_

"_Etana… Please don't do this!"_

_Etana raised her hand, pulling up her shirt to reveal the contorting, writhing skin of her stomach._

"_The incubation period is over. It's hatching. And it's at its weakest when it hatches."_

"_You'll kill yourself!"_

"_If I don't do this, I'll die anyway. I'm sorry Tora."_

"_Please… don't leave me…"_

_Etana's hand touched the edge of the force-field and Tora placed hers on the other side._

"_My friend. My daughter. Tora Bat Etana."_

_Tora was crying now._

"_You would give me your name? Why?"_

"_Because you are my daughter. Goodbye Tora. Oh, and I do feel that Kurt is one of the few men on this misbegotten ball of mud that deserve you."_

"_What?"_

_Etana didn't answer, merely raised the gun up and pointed it at the small bundle of explosives. Tora started hammering on the force-field wall._

"_NO! NO! NO!"_

"_Goodbye."_

_A shot fired. And flames blossomed inside the force-field_

"_MOTHER!"_

Tora jerked awake and instantly reached out to the body beside her. For a second she blinked confusedly about as her hand felt Logan's arm and chest instead of velvet fur or delicate, acrobat's muscles, then relaxed as she realised she'd been in the wrong reality. She reached out for the Tora the dream had originated from.

_Hello?_

_Why are you here?_

_Why did I just wake up and reach for **Kurt** of all people? I thought you were single?_

_I am. This is just one time._

_Will you be able to look him in the eye in the morning?_

_Look, I've not been the one who keeps trying to establish a relationship. He got what he wanted. Now he can just leave me alone._

_Really? What did Etana say?_

She gasped as the mental knife dug deep into her mind.

_I'm sorry. That was underhand. I just think he wants more than a casual relationship._

_Look, you with your perfect life can't understand what it's like to live here! Erik is imprisoned, Logan's been dead for 7 years, Jean tries her best but the whole world wants to kill us! I don't have **time** for a relationship._

_So you're going to throw Kurt out in the morning?_

_Maybe. No. Not really… I hate you, you know that?_

_Yes. Of course. Now I'll just leave you to contemplate your options._

She already knew the choice her counterpart would make. The next morning, Kurt Darkholme would wake up to the relationship he had been pursuing ever since he met the golden-eyed woman who had followed Apocalypse's Scorn to the X-Men. Sometimes Tora felt she must be rather stupid about relationships. Most alternate versions of her were oblivious to physical attraction. She had a sneaking suspicion that 94 was an in-denial asexual, but she wouldn't listen to anyone yelling at her. Another tendency that seemed to run through all the Toras. Stubbornness. To the point of danger. Tora shrugged, then pulled herself closer to her living hot-water bottle. Jeanne made a disgruntled noise as Tora's feet shifted, dislodging the cat from her warm circle.

All felt good.

* * *

><p>"Really, getting dreams confused is just… horrible."<p>

"Tell me about it."


	129. Nerves

**Memories**

Nerves

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She stood beside Scott as they watched the fires burn.

"Are you alright Scott?"

"No Tora. I'm not. I have eighteen simultaneous plans running so if one collapses I'll have back-ups."

"Don't worry Scott. Right now, I'm working on Plan 30th December. Of a leap year."

"Okay. Can you write them all down for me?"

"Sure."

A small notepad and pen appeared in Tora's hand from under the silver belt. There was a slight scratching of a pen for a long while. Then she handed over a sheet.

"January 1st to February 29th."

"Excuse me, but why does one of these plans state 'have willing volunteer blow up Graymalkin'?"

"Wait 'til you see December 31st. That plan pretty much has me end the entire universe. I had to plan for every eventuality."

"TORA!"

"Look, each one is based on the idea that the one before it failed. Are you going to confront Osborn?"

"Yes."

"Well I'm coming with you."

"Why?"

She raised an eyebrow.

"You're a good leader Scott. But you want to keep that appearance. I can be the stick."

"You mean the good cop, bad cop routine? The one you and Logan have perfected? Aren't you usually the good cop?"

"You'd be surprised."

He looked at her again then nodded.

"I'll get you fixed up with a jet-pack. We need to get to Alcatraz fast."

"You have a plan, don't you? And Emma's a part of it."

Scott turned and grinned at her.

"Does **anything **get past you?"

"No."

He smiled as he turned away. Tora was beside him. And as long as Dragon stood by the X-Men, they were unlikely to fall.

* * *

><p>The women didn't speak, just gazed all the more intently into the pool for three different reasons. One for seeing how things had truly gone after her death, another out of curiosity and a third out of bittersweet remembrance.<p>

* * *

><p>She stood beside Scott, terrifying in her silence. Her eyes were fixed on Osborn. And then Scott moved away and Tora stepped forward.<p>

"I can hear them you know."

"Hear what?"

"The screams. Quit torturing my kind or you. Will. Have. Never. Been. Born."

"Pardon?"

A claw shot out and pointed at his face for a second before hovering down to his stomach.

"You know what I mean. And if I hear any more screams, I will cut you. I will cut you from stomach to hip. And I will do it slowly. I know how the human body is assembled. And I will take you apart at the seams. _Compris_?"

The sudden, harsh word spat out in French seemed to spark Osborn back to reality and snap his eyes away from the claw that was hovering threatingly over his groin.

"Are you threatening me?"

She leant forward, eyes glowing silver.

"Yes. Want to make something out of it?"

There was something dangerous there and Osborn was suddenly reminded that even SHIELD didn't have much on Dragon. The records were all out of date by three, four years. Maybe there was a reason for that.

"Get out of my sight before I have you arrested!"

It was an empty threat and they both knew it. Tora smirked, knowing she had won and span around, tugging the ignition cord on the pack.

"One more scream Osborn. One more scream."

* * *

><p>"Oh, she'd been taking threat lessons from Logan."<p>

"No, she'd been taking threat lessons from Etana."

"Yes, I did detect a certain Etanaish feel to some of those comments."

"Jean, you do so love to be sarcastic, don't you?"

* * *

><p>She struggled half-heartedly, knowing from experience that she couldn't get out of this predicament without either breaking a bone or stabbing herself fatally. She wasn't in a hurry to do the latter and the former was impossible. She smiled as Osborn stormed in.<p>

"Are you going to torture me now? I do so **love** torture."

"No. I've heard about the Madripoor incident. You managed to get two men to commit suicide, drove thirteen insane and we don't know how."

"Oh, I can tell you. It goes like this. _I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, I know a song that will get on your nerves, and this is how it goes. I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, I know a song that will get on your nerves, and this is how it goes. I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, I know a song that will get on your nerves, and this is how it goes…_"

She was terribly out of tune, a screeching cacophony. Osborn's hands clapped to his ears as she continued singing.

"STOP IT!"

"..._this is how it goes. _Can't hear you. _I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, I know a song that will get on your nerves, and this is how it goes. I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, I know a song that will get on your nerves, and this is how it goes._"

"DAMMIT! WOLVERINE, GET THE HELL IN HERE!"

Daken sauntered in, froze and clapped his hands over his ears.

"What the &£#!"

"I know. She won't shut up."

"_I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, I know a song that will get on your nerves, and this is how it goes. I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, I know a song that will get on your nerves, and this is how it goes._"

"What do you want me to do?"

"Shut her up!"

"HOW!"

"In any way you feel fit."

Daken turned and smiled.

"I know what I'm going to do."

Tora smiled sweetly in her 'oh buster, you have **no** idea' mode.

"_I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, I know a song that will get on your nerves, and this is how it goes. I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, I know a song that will get on your nerves, and this is how it goes. _Bring it on. _I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, I know a song that will get on your nerves, and this is how it goes. I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves, I know a song that will get on your nerves, and this is how it goes._"

The claw ran up her stomach. She faltered but then continued singing. Blood splurted but she rolled her eyes and in between verses, flung an insult.

"Can we get onto the torture yet?"

It continued, slender slices of flesh being removed, then regrowing. All to the tuneless singing of Tora's. She knew he had earplugs in but she kept on singing just to prove a point. She stopped though when his hands strayed uncomfortable close to her thigh. She grunted, then snapped her leg up, smacking him in the face.

"No thank you. Hands off."

Daken's eyes lit up as he realised he had hit the right button.

"Really?"

"Yes. Really. Because your father is right behind you."

Daken twisted round in time to meet the fist.

"You took your time."

"Are you alright? Did that $%#&£ do anything to you?"

"That '$%#&£' is your son. And no, he didn't. Well, nothing that hasn't already healed. Can you let me down?"

She fell down and massaged her wrists.

"Well, I managed a new record. Eight hundred and thirty-nine verses."

He rolled his eyes.

"Warren once thought you were screaming for mercy. It took a while to persuade him you were just singing."

"I take it Emma has switched sides."

"Of course. You've been out for a while. We got everyone out of Alcatraz, and brought up Asteroid M, now called Utopia."

"Oh goodie. Now, have you got a teleporter or am I going to have to hit people?"

"Someone call for me? Elf Taxis, how may we be of assistance?"

She laughed and grabbed his arm, then paused.

"One mo, then let's get the hell out of here."

She stared down at the unconscious man on the floor.

"_Vous connard_."

She kicked him in the ribs, watching in satisfaction as he curled up into a ball.

"Right, let's go."

* * *

><p>Phoenix giggled.<p>

"Now, **there** was a reason not to upset her."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Well, I've already written up to, wait for it... Chapter 139! And Second Coming is almost finished. And one of my OCs will die.  
><em>


	130. Fear and Loss

**Memories**

Fear and Loss

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She stared around the empty rooms, her rooms, a basic bedroom with another added on next door, in which a bed and a cot rested. She sighed and Logan turned.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just thinking about all the other places we stayed."

"Go on."

"Our first room in the mansion. That might be my favourite in the States. Then the room in Japan. That one's my favourite overall. Then back to the mansion and another set of rooms. Then we converted the mansion into a school full time and got a whole apartment by the looks of it, you know, rooms for all the kids, dinette, bathroom instead of the simple showers… Then **that** was destroyed and we came to Greymalkin. And that was tiny, with barely any room to move and Jamie and Eva was all scrunched up in the same room and Curt couldn't even stay with us… Are we falling further and further into some sort of decline?"

"Look… this is just temporary. Until Osborn is out of power. Then we can go back to the mainland and actually buy a place near Greymalkin, close enough to be a part of the main group but separate."

She smiled wryly.

"But we both know that's not going to happen. We're too sucked in, too entrenched. We're X-Men Logan. That defines us now. We can't simply be Logan and Tora. We will forever be remembered, even in the eyes of our friends, as Wolverine and Dragon. You with the Avengers, me being famed as the woman who made the Skrulls flee and who fell at the feet of the Hulk, telling him to take her instead of the others. When we're gone, that's all that will be remembered. The shells."

"I never understand how you persuaded Hulk to take you instead of Charles. I hated you then. Hated that you'd give your life up for Chuck, hated that you even **considered** it."

"I told him the truth."

"Which was?"

"I was more guilty than any of the others. They could not help it. I am the World-Healer. I should have been there, healing that broken world. And I wasn't. I have so much blood on my hands. Bruce hates me, and with good reason. I could have saved everyone on Sakaar, his wife, his friends, his people. And I didn't. Elloe Kaifi was right to call me the worst kind of monster."

"Tora…"

"Tell me truly Logan, who do you hate more? The men who persecute us or those who stand aside and let it happen, thinking 'it will never happen to us'? Who do you despise the most?"

"Tora."

"Wait, don't answer. Because I already know. You hate those who stand aside, allow the horrors to happen. You hate the fact that when Jersey was annexed in World War Two, there was only one Jew on the whole island, **one** Jew from London who worked as a maid for a family on holiday there and instead of hiding her, as they could so **easily** have done, they handed her over to her death. And I am just like that Logan. You should despise me."

"No. You're not. You're just human. Dragon should be the one dealing with this, not you."

"But I **am** Dragon Logan. Can't you see? I am not Tora anymore."

"No. You **are** Tora. Just Tora."

She sighed.

"Tell me truthfully, have you every wished me to not be Dragon?"

He looked away then nodded.

"And sometimes, when I say or do something that quite obviously isn't… **Tora**, you wish you married someone else."

"NO!"

"Logan, it only happens rarely but I see it. Scott was just the same but a lot more frequent. I read people. And you're, not to put too fine a point on it, one of Eva's picture books. As in, 'The cat sat on the mat' easy."

"Tora…"

"It's so fleeting, the first couple of times I thought I read you wrong. But then… It was that training session when I made you all fight Dark Dragon and you just **looked** at me and you were scared. And I think that shocked me a lot more than I could ever imagine. I scared you for a moment Logan. And I don't know how to fix that."

* * *

><p>Phoenix nodded.<p>

"Fear destroyed my marriage. That and a lack of communication."

"Excuse me, you had a telepathic link!"

"Yes, but we didn't **talk**. That was the problem."

* * *

><p>Jamie was doing what most four-year-olds whose birthday had been last week most certainly <strong>didn't<strong> do. He was carefully picking up wooden blocks with numbers on them and placing them into complex sums. Valeria was sitting beside him.

"And if you divide by 36.748, you get… FRANKLIN!"

For her brother had just shot around the corner, laughing wildly and slammed right into the blocks of long division. Curt charged round after him, froze then gave a big grin.

"Sorry?"

Jamie started hitting his brother's legs.

"YOU RUINED IT! YOU RUINED IT!"

Tora swept in and picked him up, jerking her head to tell Curt and Franklin to move out sharpish, comforting the crying children whilst Jeanne carefully patted all the blocks back into place. As soon as the last double negative was in place the kids stopped crying and Tora leant back, finally relaxing. She wasn't entirely sure how this had ended up happening. How Sue Richards and Jessica Jones-Cage had ended up inviting her to these meetings where the general rule was; bring along the kids and see how much trouble they can get up to in an hour; she would never know. But she enjoyed it. At the last check, Eva and Danielle had been having a word competition, to see who could speak the most. This had resulted in the conversation of 'how the **hell** does your kid know the words **disembowelled **and **temporal manipulation**!', where apparently the statements 'her father' and 'she listens in on me and Hank' weren't considered acceptable excuses. What other excuses **were** there than Eva hearing Logan's rants about what he was going to do to Sabretooth. Or Gorgon. Or Osborn. Or whoever else happened to have annoyed him. It was the price to pay for staying with Logan. At least she'd stopped the swearing, smoking and most of the drinking through gentle pressure and not so gentle screaming matches. And hiding any vaguely tobacco related products in the sea. As in, handing them to Namor and telling him to drop them somewhere interesting.

Jamie looked up, his bright blue eyes sparkling.

"What do you think Maman?"

"_Très bon _Jamie. Very good."

Valeria smiled as well, her blond hair and pale eyes making her look like an angel with an acid tongue.

"Yes. It is, isn't it Aunty Tora."

She still wasn't certain how she'd ended up being an aunt to the Richards children. She supposed that going to see Sue when Jamie and Val were both babies may have had something to do with it. She shrugged it off and tried calling for Sue, to get her to stop Franklin and Curt charging around like headless chickens.

* * *

><p>"How <strong>is <strong>Curt by the way?"

Death shrugged.

"Insanely cheerful, spends far too much time with Deadpool and appears to have discovered Asgardian mead."

"And the symbiote?"

"Still a part of him. The two **can't** unravel. They've been together so long, for most of their lives, that they would instantly die without the other."

* * *

><p>Curt lay in silence in the dark room, Hellion's final accusation still ringing in his ears.<p>

"What are **you** even **doing** here! You're not a mutant, not anymore! You're a freak, an alien!"

He didn't want to speak to Xixy. Xixy who was treated with wary politeness since his 'betrayal' during the Skrull Invasion, which was actually a canny political manoeuvre to make the Skrulls think the K'Meer were preparing to annex Earth. It had cost more than the thirty-thousand K'Meeri lives in the space battle. It had cost Xixy's popularity, the friendly face of the X-Men, who insisted on keeping the alien conquistador on their team.

I hate everyone.

(Not true. You don't hate me or Poison or Maman.)

_**Please say you love me! I love you! You're SPECIAL!**_

I like **you**. I just hate everyone else. Maman never listens and Dad is Dad.

(Either that was very, very deep or very, very stupid. I wonder which?)

* * *

><p>"I pitied him at times."<p>

"No. You shouldn't pity him. He was happy with what he was. He wasn't **dead**. That was all he ever wanted."


	131. Not Alive, But Still Not Dead

**Memories**

Not Alive, But Still Not Dead

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Scott was staring at the sketchs on the table. Tora frowned at them.

"Those were in my box."

Scott started guiltily and looked up.

"Sorry. They were just lying on the table. Who's this woman?"

Tora stared at the picture Scott was holding out.

"That? That's Jane Howlett, more commonly known as Logan Circen."

Scott froze.

"Tora… If this is some sort of sick joke…"

"No Scott. It's not. The one underneath it is Summer and the White King."

Scott flicked through the sheets and stared at her.

"This… This is one of your…others?"

"Yes. Don't worry Scott. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go and have a word with my son about personal privacy."

* * *

><p>The three beings leant closer to the water as the images swirled again. Death suddenly grinned.<p>

"You know, this is the best fun I've had in ages."

Phoenix looked up.

"Well, seeing as once this feature length production is over, a new universe will be born, it's the best fun you'll have in the interim period."

Death nodded.

"I was going to ask you, are you remaining in the host's mind and soul. I already know our dear friend's choice."

Phoenix looked up sadly.

"You… you're…"

"Yes Jean. I am."

* * *

><p>Her fingers moved swiftly as she stitched the material together. Flickering waves wove in and out, creating a tight mesh. She pulled her hands out and the water settled, looking like a shimmering silvery-blue blanket, not a delicate construction of water. Then she threw it and it hit the first man. And it swelled and rolled until it was a raging sea and then faded away to nothing. And the holograms died down and Danger stepped forward and held out a hand for Tora.<p>

"Thank Danger. Wouldn't know where I'd be without you giving me a proper workout."

"I know you needed something taxing."

"Yeah. Now, how about going out in San Francisco, finding somewhere quiet and then having a very long discussion about a certain prisoner you're keeping safe for dear old Emma."

Danger blinked then sighed.

"How long have you known?"

"Since I caught a whiff of him. Don't worry. It's Emma I'm rather mad at."

Danger turned and looked at her.

"I have a confession to make. I-"

"No, don't tell me. You used my mental patterns from when I interfaced myself with you."

A long period of silence. Then…

"Am I really that obvious?"

"No, not at all. It's just I know how I think, even if you don't talk or move like me. You **think **like me, and that is perhaps the thing I notice most."

Danger nodded.

"I…I found your thought patterns the most logical and analytical, therefore the best choice for me."

"Well, rub salt in the wounds, why don't you? I was **made** to think this way. I was made to be little more than a machine. Operating instructions simple. Point and let loose. Tidy up the few drops of blood even I couldn't clear away."

Danger nodded. Tora sighed and started walking out.

"Sorry. I've been snappy for a while."

"Is this about the attack by Selene?"

"No. I… Yes, okay, it is. Etana. Hank kept some of her cell samples alive and according to them, she's still got an active X-Gene. So why didn't she come with Selene?"

Danger turned.

"Has it occurred to you that she had measures in place to prevent something like that ever happening?"

"Yes, and it just doesn't gel. Etana was amazing, yes. She was clever and canny and an amazing strategist but even she couldn't plan for something like that. She couldn't plan for all those spells. So what happened?"

"She's dead Dragon."

"I know. I know she died, I know her heart stopped and she stopped breathing. I know she's not alive, but I don't think she's **dead**."

* * *

><p>The waters faded away and Phoenix hit the kneeling woman.<p>

"Why are you fading out there! It was just getting interesting!"

"I need a walk."

* * *

><p>Tora stood at the grave and shuddered. She was about to do something terrible and highly offensive. She was about to disturb the body of a dear friend. She bent down, ready to start digging with her fingers when a low voice made her freeze.<p>

"The body is still there. She doesn't need a physical body for what I want her to do."

Tora span around and stared at the tall, raven-haired woman.

"Who…? What…?"

"Oh dear, oh dear. My dearest Dragon, can you **really** not recognise me?"

She calmed down.

"Mistress Death."

"Of course. Would you object…?"

"Not at all."

The face melted away so just the bare bones remained. The black robe swirled around and Death sat on the stone. She started laughing at the look on Tora's face.

"Don't look so outraged! You were about to dig her up with your bare hands."

"What did you mean?"

"Ah, straight to the bare bones of the matter. This is why I like you Dragon. No dancing around an issue, just leaping straight to the most important question."

"I want an answer."

"Maybe she doesn't want me to give you one."

Tora moved incredibly quickly and her hands were on Death's shoulders and shaking them back and forth before the cosmic entity had time to react.

"I want an answer!"

"Ask her yourself."

And Death faded away as Tora tried to cling at the black robe. Then she whipped around.

"Etana! ETANA! ETANAAAA!"

She was only screaming into the empty night.

* * *

><p>"How endearing, crying over a woman who was both dead and alive."<p>

Phoenix glared at Death.

"You could have **told** us."

"Would you have believed me?"

"Good point."

* * *

><p>She was trawling through the data paths, trying to find something, <strong>anything<strong> that might give her a clue as to Etana's continued state of being. She knew the others thought she was clutching at straws, that given Etana and Selene's 'prickly' relationship that Selene had so graciously referred to in the form of 'Oh you mean **that** old prude? Boring. We've been trying to kill each other for **centuries**. Glad to hear she finally kicked the bucket,' remarks that had not endeared her to Tora in any way, shape or form and probably resulted in the now ugly scars that traced down Selene's cheekbone, that Selene would simply have not bothered to resurrect Etana, especially due to her strong mind that would be hard to control.

She sighed and then didn't bother to turn.

"Hello Ororo."

"Tora. I'm sorry. We all know how much you cared about her. But this is just hurting you."

Tora whipped around, her eyes wild.

"She's not gone. I **know** it. She can't be."

"Tora, it's been close to five years. You have to let her go. She was special, she was bright, but now she's gone."

"SHE'S NOT! I… I spoke to Death! Etana isn't dead!"

Storm recoiled slightly.

"Tora…"

"Don't Ro. Don't tell me I'm lying. Don't. Just don't."

"I'm sorry."

_Go away_.

Every part of her stance and form told Ororo that Tora wanted to be left alone. This called for Plan Z, the one they'd been hoping to call off. Shortly after Storm left, Kurt arrived, walking in quietly and sitting opposite Tora.

"I suppose you're here to tell me I'm a fool Kurt."

"No. Tora, no one could call you a fool."

"She meant so much to me…"

"I know Tora."

"Do you?"

"We were tied by blood Tora. Maybe you forgot that."

"No. How could anyone forget that you two were related? You're both so bright."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But you have to let her go. It's hurting you and I don't want to see you hurt."

She leant over and grabbed his hand.

"She's not gone. I **know** she's not."

"I'm sorry."

He pulled a hand free and traced it down her face, following the tear tracks.

"She died as she lived. Free, strong, forever being stubborn and so, **so** proud. Do you think she'd want to see you dying piece by piece because she left, going on the next big adventure? Speak to Erik, he's just woken up."

Tora froze, then leapt up.

"Erik?"

"Yes."

She shot out, leaving Kurt to look over the copious notes she had taken. And his eyes widened as he read what flashed up on the screen.

* * *

><p>Phoenix pressed her hands to her host's head, preventing the pain from getting out and damaging the room they were in. As it were, the walls contracted, the light airy room becoming brooding and dark.<p>

"Control yourself!"

"It hurts!"

"Yes, yes it does, but you must be strong!"


	132. She Returns

**Memories**

She Returns

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"Erik?"

His eyes darted up to her.

"Tora. You're here about Etana, aren't you?"

"How did you know?"

"Five years to the day since she died? Of course you would come to someone who knew her."

"I… I need to speak to you about something."

"She can't resurrect herself. I'm sorry Tora. That was the one thing she couldn't do."

"I… What was in your letter Erik?"

He tilted his head away.

"I…I never read it."

"Why?"

"Because I felt she abandoned me."

"Do you still have it?"

He nodded slowly.

"I…I always have it with me."

He pulled out the thick envelope, the red wax seal untouched.

"Can you…? I…I…"

Her hands rested on his.

"Of course."

The seal was broken, the letter unfolded. And Tora took a little intake of breath.

"Please. Read… Read it to me."

"My dear Max. I cannot tell you how much your face has haunted my dreams. I thought you were dead. I thought I had lost a boy I felt was my son. I hope you do not object to my use of this term. It would never be my intention to take the place of your mother. And Max… Oh, how I have failed you. I look at you today and see a boy who saw me and took me as his idol. Oh Max, I am nobody's ideal. You should have seen me for what I was. It was never my intention to mould you in my image and now I simply have another face to add to those which come to me in my darkest moments. And… I'm sorry Erik. I… I can't go on. Please read this yourself. It's too personal."

His hand shook as he took the letter from Tora.

_And I can never forgive myself for what I did to you, the promises that I broke._

_When I took you in, I swore I would care for you. And then I thought you were dead and my heart died once more. I wept and wept, I made a pact with myself. I would never let another come as close to me as you. I cared for Logan as a son, but he was older when he came to me, already shaped and moulded by his past. But with you I had the sudden feeling of truly being a mother, of having someone who relied on me for comfort, care and love. I am sorry I could not give you what you needed Max. That is a great regret in my life, one of many._

_Oh Max, what have I turned you into? How can I have been so cruel to you, so unfeeling, that I let you suffer as you did? How you must hate me, and how I hate myself. I hope that one day Max, you will find it in your heart to forgive me. I know I can never forgive myself and I know the part of you I shaped will always hate me with a burning passion. I was not the perfect woman you wanted me to be Max. Far from it. I have hated and killed and all in the name of 'justice'. But I forgot justice when I taught you hate. You were my second chance, my chance to make the world a better place and I messed it up. With you, I could have found a way to give back some of the innocence and joy I have taken from the world. But I instead turned you into me and I go to my death today hating myself to the very core for my heartlessness._

_I hope one day you can find it in your heart to forgive an old, foolish, bitter woman. If you can, I know I have not totally ruined you._

_I am proud of you though. I am proud of you because I see someone who believes so passionately in his goal, he will sacrifice everything to see it through. But don't let your hate destroy you Max. My Max, the boy I was lucky enough to call my son._

_Yours,_

_Etana._

Tears stained the paper as he looked up.

"She really did care about me, didn't she?"

"Half her 'oh, how I hate myself' cries were about you. She didn't think anyone knew, but I could hear her. She would scream abuse at her reflection, call herself terrible, **terrible** things. Drag up old stories that should have been left well enough alone and then cried herself into a nightmare-ridden sleep."

When Scott came in to see Magneto, he found Tora and him in deep conversation.

"-And then she yelled at me for gambling, and halved my breakfast ration. Oh, she was so mad. And Cap made James run around the village three times for swearing…"

"Did you ever hear that she made Logan pry up stone flags and clean up soup to stop it from smelling?"

"That doesn't surprise me. Once she was trying to teach me to disarm a man with my hands tied to my ankles."

"Oh, is that when you flick yourself up and round?"

"She taught you that?"

"Yes. Took me a while to get it. She misjudged my weight and gave me the wrong numbers."

He laughed and Scott was about to leave when Tora's head snapped around.

"How long have you been here?"

"Not long. Tora, meeting, three minutes, whole alpha team attending."

She nodded.

"Course. Give me a mo. I want to get that report you wanted."

"Fine. Just get it done."

She gave Magneto a sheepish smile.

"Sorry. Duty calls."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being the first to trust me."

* * *

><p>Flickering pictures appeared across the water as the woman couldn't control herself any longer, allowing her emotions to get the better of her. Phoenix glanced at Death and they both carefully started rocking her back and forth, never once saying a word. They couldn't. What could you say to someone who had everything and then lost more than she could have ever had?<p>

* * *

><p>She hurried along, knowing she would be late and that the report was only half done. And then she screamed as she collapsed and she felt someone trying to pull her up.<p>

"Dragon! Dragon, are you okay?"

"Cia… Get… Get… **She has returned. She will save our race yet still the Malach Hamavet shall come for us. Fear not the Malach Hamavet, though she will take one of our number. She will walk them to Heaven and come back to watch as we falter in our protection of the Messiah. We must protect the Messiah. **Cia, get…get…Cyclops… **Fear not the Malach Hamavet, for her soul is pure. The Messiah will be saved by the Malach Hamavet. Our lives will be saved by the Angel of Death. The Messiah has returned…**"

Tora tried to pull herself up straight as Cia came rushing back with Scott.

"She was saying stuff, about the Messiah returning, and something about a… Mavach Halamet?"

"No… The…The…Malach…Hamavet… The…Angel of…Death…"

Scott tugged her up.

"What were you saying?"

"I don't know. I never know, you know that. When it takes over, I get pushed to one side."

"You…You said something about the Mal… the angel of death thingy taking one of our number."

"What else did I say? Come on Cia, **remember**!"

"Something about not being afraid. She will walk them to Heaven or some other quasi-religious mumbo-jumbo."

"Cia, that 'quasi-religious mumbo-jumbo' is not to be laughed at. As X-Men, we have faced creatures of magic and science. I know about Hercules and Thor. And I count Mistress Death, the anthropomorphic personification of the process a close acquaintance. Actually, I may ask her if she knows who commands the Malach Hamavet… Or I could ask Athena? Do you think she'd get annoyed?"

"Huh?"

"Scott, speak to Logan about his encounters with Azrael. That should give us a basic idea. And I want to go out to Westchester. I can hide out, wait for Cable to return. I still have a…link with the girl."

"A link?"

"I gave her a little bit of Dragon, so she would remain safe. It's difficult. In about a thousand years I'll probably know what she was doing growing up. Cable knew to seek me out."

"Fine. You're going to Westchester. This is top secret. No one will know. To everyone, even Logan, you're just requesting personal leave to spend some time at Etana's grave. Five years and all that."

She nodded then turned to Cia and smiled.

"Want to come with me kid?"

"Why me?"

"Because you know too much."

Cia started giggling at the pop-eyed face Tora was pulling.

"You know, I think I'll pass. That face freaks me out."

"Sure. Oh and Cia?"

"Yeah?"

Tora leant over and touched the girl under the chin.

"**You are hiding in yourself. You are the trees and the flowers and the grass. You are all you fear about yourself and more. You have a gift Robinia. Use it.**"

Cia's eyes widened and she gasped slightly as Tora shook her head.

"What rubbish did I come out with this time?"

"You… You said I wasn't losing my power. I…I think you said I was causing it to happen because I was afraid…"

* * *

><p>"It's hurting her too much! She can't control it!"<p>

"Think of something else! Think of Hope!"

The waters that were growing choppy relaxed and the images refocused.

* * *

><p>Hope tucked herself into the cranny and watched as the woman who was always waiting for them fought for her. The face turned.<p>

"Run Hope! Run!"

She didn't even **know** this one. Didn't know whether she answered to Marie, Tora or Xii; Tigress or Dragon. Didn't know who she loved, whether she had children, whether she served on the X-Men or was just a mutant, living her everyday, boring life. And she was going to die for Hope, as so many of this remarkable woman had.

"Run dammit!"

_You cannot do anything for her, little Hope. She has made her choice. Make her sacrifice count. Live for those who gave their lives to save you._

"Are you in my **head**?"

_Of course. I am her, or a part of her anyway. Now run, run with me. She would not want her death to be in vain._

"Of course."

Hope ran, and as she did she heard a terrible, horrific scream. She hoped Nathan would hurry up and rescue her, because right now, she'd just lost her protection. She hated thinking of this woman as protection, this lovely, vibrant woman who could make her laugh and was one of the few constants aside from Nathan. A future didn't feel like home unless she was there.

The wolf-beast loped up and she knew she was about to die. And then the woman leapt in front of her. She was covered in blood, mostly naked from where her clothes had been torn but she was snarling and covering Hope.

"Over my dead body, Slave."

The wolf-thing snarled back but the battle howl was cut short when the woman went for the throat. She stood up and turned to Hope, her face smeared with blood, not all of which was her opponent's.

"Hey Hope. I'm Tora. Welcome to Hell."

* * *

><p>"I'm fine. I can go back now."<p>

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

* * *

><p>Cia stared at the acorn. Then, tentatively, she reached out. She touched it, expecting to feel nothing, or maybe a hint of the DNA. But instead she could…see the paths. She hurried down one and stared in astonishment as the acorn started to sprout.<p>

The tree unfurled, growing taller and taller and then acorns rained down. And Cia could sense them all, even without touching them. She smiled.

"Use it, huh?"

And she started gathering up the acorns, planning ahead for the battle she knew was coming.

* * *

><p>"How forward thinking."<p>

"How…Tora."


	133. Soldier By Predicament

**Memories**

Solider By Predicament

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She stood in the shadows. No one could see her, not unless she wanted them to. Then energy crackled and Cable arrived. She saw Hope pick up a photo but also saw the suits being unloaded.

She leapt down and flared out a burst of power, hoping the water would short-circuit the equipment. Then she ran towards Cable.

"Hurry Nathan! We've relocated! California! San Francisco! Utopia! Run, you idiot! Run!"

She grabbed Hope's hand and smiled.

"Right, run first, introductions later. Run!"

The three of them shot off into the woods, Tora shouting directions to Cable, telling him where a car was parked.

"You didn't fly!"

"No one was supposed to know I was here!"

"Well that worked!"

"Listen Nathan, we need to get you across country as fast as possible. The alpha-team will home in on me, because I have a closed-circuit link with them."

"You're in touch with Frost?"

"Not yet I'm not. We're here."

Cable made as if to get in the driver's seat.

"Uh, uh Big Guy. You drive like a maniac."

"**You** drive like an old woman."

"**I** have two preschool children. I drive **sensibly**."

"We need speed, not safety."

"Yes, well **I** have the keys, so **I'm** driving."

"This isn't the time for games! I drive!"

A shot over their heads caused them all to duck and Tora to toss the keys to Cable.

"Right, we need maniac driving. But when we're safe, I drive. _Compris_?"

"Just get in the car!"

Tora wrenched the door open and bundled Hope inside, leaping in behind her and closing the door.

"Buckle up. Dammit, Nate, can you knock me out?"

"Why?"

"I hate your driving."

Hope turned.

"Why?"

"Put it this way, Nathan would make a very good racing driver, if it weren't for the fact he can't control the damn car."

As if to punctuate the point, the car skidded around the corner and Tora went white.

"Hope, I sincerely hope you never flew with him…"

"No. Why?"

"I really would hate to think what his dad would do to him if he killed you in a plane crash. I'm Tora by the way."

"Hope."

"I know."

She held out a hand then stiffened.

"Yes. Emma. No. Sending you coordinates right now."

Hope frowned.

"What were you doing?"

"Giving the X-Men coordinates. Nate, we'll need food. You can't drive from here to Utopia non-stop. We're going to need food, and other supplies. But we can rotate driving duties, drive in three hour shifts, catch sleep when we need it."

He nodded, concentrating on the road. Hope stared at her.

"You're just like him, aren't you?"

"What?"

"You're a soldier."

"Not by choice."

* * *

><p>She turned away from the water.<p>

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault Phoenix. I…I thought this would make me stronger… It's just made me cry."

"I know. I'm sorry."

* * *

><p>She froze, listening to the telepathic conversation that was going on. She closed her eyes.<p>

"Oh Logan…"

"What?"

She turned her head away.

"He's been using Laura and Warren to hunt down and kill Bastion's servants."

Cable grunted from the front.

"Sounds like a good idea to me."

"Nathan, your **father** authorised it."

Silence as he processed the information.

"Pull in here Nate. We can get food. There's a hotel three miles further along and we can book a room for the night."

"You have inducers?"

"Yeah."

Half an hour later, 'Mr and Mrs Winters' signed into a hotel room and walked in. Tora rolled her eyes.

"Right, Hope gets the bed, Nathan, you can have the chair. I'll take the floor."

Hope blinked.

"Why?"

"Because I'm used to rough living and we want to get you used to the joys of our modern world."

She opened the fridge and threw the teenager a can of Coke.

"Get what you want, all on me."

Hope stared at her.

"You hotwired the car really easily."

"Yes, I did."

"You knew that Nathan killed the people in the shop."

"They were going to kill you."

"Why?"

"Because people don't want someone as important as you to be here."

"This place is so cool."

"Hope, this is a cheap motel. Utopia may be a little…stark, but it's a palace compared to here."

"Really?"

"Yep. You might want to shower."

She sighed at Cable while Hope was there.

"She tries Nathan."

"I know."

"Give her this…"

He looked down at the hairbrush set.

"Why?"

"She's a teenager. She wants some normal things in life."

"Have I… Am I a bad father?"

"Nathan, I look at you and I see a man who adores his daughter, who would do anything to keep her safe. Is that a bad thing?"

She walked over and knocked on the door.

"Hope, I'm going to come in."

"Okay."

Cable heard an odd noise then Hope's quiet voice.

"My mother used to brush my hair. Nathan named her after me. She died when I was a kid…"

"I know. I was there."

"Really?"

"I killed the men who killed her. Well, when I say **me**, I actually mean the version of me there killed them."

Nathan froze. "They've cut off everything!"

Both women instantly reacted. Hope pulled her ragged cloak on and Tora leapt for the lights. She turned to him.

"The three-nine-four movement?"

He nodded.

"Can you do a sixty-six?"

She smiled.

"When you're ready."

Hope looked at her.

"Are you going to kill the men?"

Tora said 'No' just as Cable said 'Yes'. She sighed.

"I will try not to kill them. I can't speak for Nathan."

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

She cut a hole in the wall and as Hope watched, leapt out the window of the room next door. Instantly the blue suit was riddled with bullet holes but water burst around her.

"THEY HAVE THE DRAGON! CONTINGENCY 4-D! GET TO IT!"

A gun was levelled at Tora but she laughed and let the waters burst out of her. Cable nodded.

"NOW!"

And Hope was busy fighting, but also glancing at Dragon, watching her as she glowed. Then she was kneeling by the car, using the distraction the X-Men gave her to hotwire it, waving Hope over.

Nathan nodded and they hurried over, both shooting to kill. A blond woman reached out.

"Come with me."

But she was hit with something terrible and was dragged into a glowing circle. And then Nightcrawler shot towards them but by then Tora had pulled Hope into the car and was shielding her with her body. And then she stiffened and her mouth opened and Hope saw the shot that had hit her in the back. Dragon turned to Nathan.

"Heal…halter… Spine… Need…"

"What do you need?"

"Hope… Help…"

"How?"

And Nathan nodded.

"Pull the bullet out then cut away as much flesh as you can."

"WHAT!"

Dragon looked up, her eyes becoming unfocussed.

"**Do it girl**!" _Or she will die!_

Hope did as she was told, even as Nathan ranted about Bastion finding them. He turned to look at Tora, who was sitting up and the flesh began to heal.

"Do you think he could be tracking you?"

"Not anymore. I've been unseeable to any telepaths since I gave Emma our coordinates. No one could find me, not even Jean in full Phoenix mode."

"Good. Tracking chips?"

"Disabled and destroyed. After the fiasco when Hope was born, I had them shut down permanently."

"You almost killed her that day."

She snarled.

"And I've saved you countless times today and I don't **want **to know how many times I saved you in the future."

He nodded. Then sighed.

"Abandoned trailer park coming up. We're stopping to catch our second wind here."

Tora nodded. Hope shuddered, staring at the now smooth skin on the back, a shot that should have been fatal but wasn't. She had met many of this woman. Some had been like Nathan, soldiers to the death. Others had been vaguely normal. But none scared her like this one. A woman who seemed so against killing, yet could act so casually when Nathan killed people, who shared a bed with Wolverine. And then there were the eyes. None of the others had eyes like those, hard eyes, dark eyes, eyes that knew too much.

They sat together in the dank trailer and Nathan twitched away when Hope tried to fix his arm. Tora sighed.

"Give it here."

The waves lapped over the metal, which knitted back together. Nathan smiled grimly.

"We need to keep moving."

"Too late. They're here."

* * *

><p>"I… I'm sorry. I'll leave the show on, but I… I don't want… I…"<p>

"You don't want to see Kurt die again?"

The woman shook her head, got up and walked to the edge of the room, where she curled herself up into a small ball.


	134. Deadened Soul

**Memories**

Deadened Soul

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"Dammit Scott! I should be going with Kurt and Hope!"

_No Tora. Rogue can go with Hope. Anymore and Kurt won't be able to cope._

She snarled and walked over to Logan and Laura.

"You have a lot of explaining to do."

"I know."

She sighed.

"Fresh uniform?"

"What? Oh… yeah. Naked."

She stopped.

"I'm just going to see Kurt."

She walked over and rested her hand on his shoulder.

"Stay safe Kurt. I would give you a boost but I don't know what Dragon power would do to you."

"Don't worry Tora. I'll be fine."

"Don't do anything **stupid**, okay?"

He laughed.

"I'm never stupid Tora. Didn't you know that?"

"Yeah."

"Oh… About Etana… Tora…"

She stared at him.

"You were right Tora. You were right. I'll tell you more when you get back."

She nodded and pressed a hand to his arm.

"Save your energy for 'porting. Leave protecting Hope to Rogue. I want to come with you, but Scott's right. She's the best choice right now."

"I would be equally happy with either of you by my side. Neither of you would allow any harm to come to Hope."

She leant over and kissed him on the cheek.

"Goodbye Kurt. I'll see you on Utopia and you can tell me all about Etana."

He grinned and walked over to Rogue and Hope. A bamf and they were gone. Tora sighed.

"_À__ bientôt, mon ami._"

Logan grinned.

"Looks like we've drawn decoy duty. Anyone know any really short prayers?"

Tora smiled.

"Oh One-Above-All, please do your best to allow us all to live, ta very much from your dear child Dragon. That do?"

"Short, to the point and highly personal. Let's hope he likes you."

* * *

><p>"He likes <strong>everybody<strong>! It's sort of part of the job description!"

"Yes well, I don't think Logan knew that."

* * *

><p>Kurt burst into existence and screamed as he felt the arm pierce his chest. He saw Hope whispering 'please please please…', heard Rogue say his name, and then he saw Her. She was a being of fire, an angel. And he began to pray.<p>

"Ht…hh…O…O Luh-Lord…in this…time of need…st-strengthen me…"

And She smiled and as he teleported She filled him with her power, the power of the promise of the peace that was to come, allowing him to reach Utopia. And She tilted her head towards Hope and he knew what to say.

"Huhh…wuh…worth it… I…I believe in you."

He reached towards the silver fire that made Her up and She took his hand and pulled him up.

_Well done little one._

_Were you really an angel, all this time?_

She smiled and he could see Her old face, her human face in the fire, the face he knew and trusted. And he had a question to ask her.

_Why me?_

_I am the Malach Hamavet. I come for those who accept me as a part of life, for those who sacrifice all for others. And I come for you because you are Kurt Wagner and you deserve an explanation._

_Where do I go now?_

_Two options. I can take you to a realm of the dead, where there is a chance of resurrection or I can take you to the true afterlife, where you cannot return from but would never want to leave._

He stared at her and she smiled.

_I am an Angel of Death. One of many. I represent those who accept death, who do not fear me, who give up their lives for the good of others. I think you come under all three headings._

_No. Why did you come in person for me?_

She leant towards him and the flames flickered until it was quite obvious she was trying to appear as she used to look, to make it easier for him.

_Because you came into the world in my arms and it only seems fitting you should leave it in them as well._

_I have made my choice. And I believe you already know it._

And she laughed, a beautiful sound, the sound of Heaven calling and he grasped her hand as she spread her fiery wings and flew with him.

* * *

><p>"She was a good servant. She never failed to do her duty."<p>

"I know. Although I counted her a friend."

* * *

><p>She pushed her way through the crowds and then fell at his side.<p>

"NO! NO! KURT!"

She pressed her hands to his chest and the waves caused the arm to crumble away and then the wound healed and she screamed again.

"WAKE UP YOU! WAKE UP! I **NEED** YOU KURT! WAKE UP!"

She collapsed onto his chest and pummelled him.

"Wake up…"

No one was sure what to do.

"Please…"

"I'm sorry."

Laura's hand was brushed away as Tora sat up and then gently closed his eyes as someone else spoke.

"Bring him back. Bring him back!"

And as Hope ran off, Tora pulled the body of the person she could never find a label for because he was so precious close to her and whispered in his ear.

"You told me you would always be there for me… Come back to me Kurt. Come back to me…"

She couldn't cry. How could tears ever bring him back? She was so empty she didn't even have tears to cry. And then a soft voice.

"Uncle Kurt?"

The four-year-old stuck his head around Warren's legs.

"Maman? Bring Uncle Kurt back. Please…"

She didn't answer, merely rocked him back and forth, whispering words into his pointed ear as Logan swept up Jamie and pressed his son's face into his chest so he wouldn't have to see Kurt's sprawled-out body. And no one was quite sure how to approach Tora as she cried.

"I…I…I… He said… He…promised he… he said he'd talk to me later…"

And finally a tall man with stained orange skin crouched down and helped her up, half-carrying her to the Med-Bay.

"Xixy… What's wrong with Tora?"

"She is in… there isn't a word… _Mrrlsta_. She has lost her _Makrrrst_."

"What?"

"It… It is like… Like platonic marriage… They bind their..._Maniaska_... their souls together… They fight together. They share their darkest fears… And when one dies, the other is sure to follow soon."

It had always seemed like there was no word for the closely bound relationship between Tora and Kurt. Sometimes newbies would think they were linked romantically, but there was never anything like that between them. Their older friends could all see that. The most anyone got was 'Look, Tora and Kurt? It's like they're on the same wavelength and no one else can get on it. Don't even try to suggest it.' Etana had summed it up in two words 'platonic soulmates'. But even that wasn't close. And Xixy had used a K'Meeri word that seemed to sum it up. _Makrrrst_. And the last bit sunk in.

_When one dies, the other is sure to follow soon._

Tora was cradling her legs up to her chest as she started to gasp, unable to breathe properly.

"My friend… My friend… _Mon ami_… _Mein Freund_… _Ter Makrrrst_…"

She stiffened then turned.

"Is it true Xix? Was Kurt my _Makrrrst_?"

"I know you never made the _Makrese _but I think you are."

She stared at her hands.

"Then I am a dead woman."

"Tora, explain this… Makerst? to us."

"The _Makrrrst_ is a bond of souls. They are tied together most often in a ceremony called the _Makrese_. Most K'Meer would hate to be so reliant on another, so it's quite rare. But every now and again, it happens naturally. And those are the strongest bonds. Sometimes there is romantic attraction, most times they just become so… so **attuned** to one another that they need the other to be entirely... well, **alive**. They need the other to live. They become the other's soul and their soul is their _Makrrst_. And when one of the pair dies, the other almost certainly follows. You no longer have a soul. You are alive in body and mind but you have no wish to live. You just…give up… When was the last natural _Makrese_?"

Xixy frowned.

"About seven thousand years ago. Your years. Not standard galactic years."

"Has anyone survived?"

"Twice. Both were created _Makrrrsts_ and one wasn't done properly. The other, the two K'Meer had been at opposite sides of the Empire for three-hundred and sixty-one years."

Tora looked at her hands.

"Why? What is the point of his death? He… I…"

And she pulled herself tighter into the ball and turned away, whispering to herself and to her dead soul.

* * *

><p>"The beginning of her degeneration. So sad to see a woman such as that spiral into her own loss and hate, it was so sad."<p>

"It took a great deal to persuade her soul to return to her. I had to explain it all in very great detail to him, and he only agreed to return when she went…er…"

"You can say it. She went insane. Again. And then she decided to destroy the universe, by making everything happen at once."


	135. True Friendship

**Memories**

True Friendship

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

_They laughed as they danced together, palms together and they stepped from side to side, knowing that people were staring but not caring because they had each other and that was all that mattered. He span her round and laughed joyfully and then gently pulled her back in towards him._

"_You are beautiful."_

_She laughed again and knew her cheeks were going bright red._

"_You're hopeless."_

"_Of course."_

_And they danced all night, not caring what people thought, not caring what was said, because they were Kurt-and-Marie and no one could touch them._

xXx

_She pressed her hands to the cold flesh and would not let them take him from her. How could they? They didn't know. Only Kurt had known. Dear, precious Kurt who had turned up last night and told her how he felt and they had… they had agreed that as soon as all this craziness was over, they would leave together for a while and find out exactly what they meant to each other._

_And they just thought it was Tora clinging to her dead fiancé's best friend but they couldn't understand because Kurt had helped get rid of the pain but now he was gone she felt all the pain of Logan's death as well as the pain of Kurt's death._

"_You can't take him from me! You can't!"_

"_Let him go. Let him go."_

_But how could she? How could she let go of the second man she had ever loved?_

xXx

"_We were able to get permission for your sister, stepdaughter and priest to come, but we couldn't bring the others in. Seriously, 'cosmic sister'? Do you **want** them to think you're crazy?"_

"_It's true. Jean Grey-Summers in linked to me with an empathic link. I don't know what tonight will do to her."_

_The guard leant up against the dark wall and looked at her._

"_What made you kill him?"_

"_Pardon?"_

"_That guy. John Stringer. Why did you kill him? You're so calm. I find it hard to believe you could kill him."_

_She laughed bitterly._

"_Yes, they never told you in the press coverage about that. Didn't you wonder why I put in a request for my stepdaughter, but not my husband?"_

"_Go on."_

"_Stringer killed him. And my children."_

"_What?"_

"_James Charles Logan, aged two and a half, Eva Etana Logan, aged fifteen months and Curtis Steven Logan, also aged fifteen months. All dead. All gone. All murdered by Stringer."_

"_Why was this never mentioned?"_

_Dull gold eyes just stared at him._

"_You know what I am. You can guess what they were. Why do you **think**?"_

"_The courts-"_

"_The courts wouldn't prosecute him and you know it. I'm only here today because of what I am. That's all that's ever mattered to people. What I am. Can you loosen the gloves?"_

"_No ma'am. Sorry. You could get out knowing your reputation."_

_She laughed again. Cold, angry and lost._

"_I could have got out of this place with my hands and feet chained together when I was **four**."_

"_Is your mutation that strong?"_

"_No. I didn't even know I was a mutant then. I was trained then."_

"_What?"_

"_I was trained as a weapon. As a child, I was just a weapon. I was never anything more. At age seven, I could escape Alcatraz with my feet chained to my hands and a thirty kilogram weight tied to my feet. At age fourteen, I was ordered to kill the man who had murdered my only friend. I was less than an animal."_

"_I'm…I'm sorry."_

"_Don't be."_

"_Your priest is here."_

_She stood up, the chains from her wrists to her waist preventing her from standing up straight. The Catholic priest smiled and reached out a hand to her but the guards stood between them._

"_Sorry Father, you can't go closer to her. They can go crazy about now."_

"_Don't worry Father. I am fine."_

"_Tora…"_

"_Father Wagner, can I ask something of you?"_

_The image inducer flickered off._

"_Yes."_

"_Keep everyone away tonight."_

"_Tora, they want to be there for you."_

"_I'm going to be alone Kurt. Alone but for you and God. Everyone else wants to see me gone. I…I don't want to hurt the others. Keep Jean away. Block the link."_

"_There are protestors outside."_

_She laughed again, bitterly._

"_Mutant rights activists? We all know they're jokes to the government. I'm not getting a pardon. Not now. I killed a man. I'm being punished."_

"_Tora, you were mad with grief."_

"_Try telling that to them."_

"_Tora, you **gave** them the stuff they needed to do this!"_

_She sat down, the chains on her legs clinking._

"_Least I could do."_

_She waved her hands around, the chains clinking slightly as she sat doubled over._

"_Remember these? Looks like I'm back in them."_

"_Tora…"_

"_I surprised everyone by how easily I adapted to walking with my legs chained together. But then this **was** the usual way for me to walk as a child."_

_The guard turned._

"_You used to be chained?"_

_The priest shuddered._

"_When we found her…She was covered in her own blood. The room was filled with her own body parts that had been torn off. She was so thin one of us could put his hands around her waist. To survive, she'd eaten the only supply of protein around her. As in, the meat on the floor. Her own body."_

_The guard paled. The woman laughed bitterly._

"_Yeah. They didn't want that coming up in the trial. US Government turns child into living weapon. Never going to let **that** reach the courts. Murdock got a gagging order."_

"_Are you alright Tora? The others are coming. We can't let you be alone."_

"_Alone? Kurt, Logan died alone. My children died afraid and alone. Stringer died alone and begging for mercy he wouldn't give three innocent children. I won't be alone tonight. They'll be with me."_

"_Tora, this is heading you straight to Hell."_

_Her eyes flashed dangerously._

"_Then I'll burn right next to him."_

_The priest looked up._

"_Can I just get closer?"_

"_Not possible Father."_

"_She needs help."_

"_She won't need it for much longer."_

"_No, this is exactly **when** she needs it."_

_She shook her head._

"_At least keep Laura away. She barely got away from Stringer. I don't want her to see this. I'm her only family now."_

"_You feel guilty."_

"_About leaving her? Yes. About what I did? No. Not one regret."_

"_Tora…"_

"_Etana never regretted what she'd done. And neither do I. She was right. We **are** the same. Her and me, two warriors who lose everything, who are tied by one man. Two women who should not die, but do anyway. I am Etana and she is me."_

"_Tora?"_

"_Two souls dancing together. As one dies, the other is born. I wonder who the new Lonely Warrior is. Laura? That would be about right. Born twenty years before the death of the old. Tied to Logan as we both were. And when she dies, there will be no Lonely Warrior. For the thread is gone. The tie is broken. Logan is dead."_

"_Tora, are you alright? Are you delirious?"_

_She laughed, a wild, insane laugh._

"_No Kurt. I am finally **seeing**. I am finally **alive**. Tonight is the night I die. Tonight I return to Logan."_

_The guard looked up worriedly._

"_Father, what's wrong with her?"_

"_I don't know. I don't know."_

_There was a quiet cough then Laura entered, followed by Eloise. Laura was impassive. Eloise had been crying._

"_Maman and Papa wanted to come as well."_

_Tora shook her head._

"_They didn't come to their own grandchildren's funeral. I don't want them here."_

_Laura tried to step forward but the guards stopped her._

"_No miss. You can't touch her. We don't know what she could do. Condemned normally act oddly on their last day."_

"_Why is she wearing those? It's… It's like she's at Weapon X again."_

"_Laura…"_

"_Tora… Get out. Please…"_

"_No Laura."_

"_Please… I…I don't want to be alone…"_

"_You aren't alone Laura. You have the others."_

"_They're afraid of me."_

"_They were afraid of me as well."_

"_Please can I hug her?"_

"_No miss. Sorry."_

"_Laura. This is hurting you. Go."_

"_I won't leave you."_

"_I don't want either of you here tonight."_

_Eloise snapped her head up._

"_Marie…"_

"_I said, I don't want you here tonight."_

"Pourquoi_?"_

"_Because it will be…difficult. I'm going to die in a horrible way. The chips in my head will overload, frying the neuron pathways in my brain. I won't even be able to remember how to breathe. It'll be…hard for you."_

"_Tora…"_

"_Eloise, I want you out. Out of the country, anything. Just get away from here. Stringer's family will go after you."_

"_Tora. I'm not leaving you."_

_Gold eyes sparked with a life that had once been there._

"_Eloise, Laura can look after herself. You, whilst being a good fighter, wouldn't last five minutes. Take Luke and leave. Get out. Go home. Anything. I don't want you dead."_

"_Why aren't you telling Laura to leave?"_

_Gold eyes met the green eyes of her stepdaughter._

"_Laura. Understand. I am Etana and Etana was me. Etana is you and you are me."_

"_I…I don't understand…"_

"_A thread tied us together. A thread that is severed. You are the last of the three. The last of the Warriors Three. The mortal warriors, the female warriors, the mutant warriors. One at a time, over and over, tied by the Undying One, he who has left us."_

"_She's insane. You can't execute her if she's insane."_

"_Miss, they sometimes act insane to get off Death Row."_

"_Why would I want off Death Row? I'm going to be with Logan again tonight."_

_A voice ran out._

"_All out except the priest."_

_A flash of pale green light shone around Eloise's head, a delicate cat face curled around hers and the guards froze. Then the two black haired women threw their arms around the chained, seated one and only one of them cried. Eloise pulled back, dry-eyed as Laura sniffled into Tora's shoulder._

"_Don't want you to go…"_

"_Laura…"_

"_Now Logan's gone, you're the only family I have… Don't want to be alone."_

"_Laura. Be brave. Stand back."_

"_I…I…"_

"_Laura."_

_The tone was gentle yet chiding._

"_The last of the Lonely Ones. Live Laura. Live because the other two couldn't."_

_Laura stepped back, then the guards unfroze and hustled her and Eloise out. Neither could quite bear to say that this was goodbye, hurried out of a windowless room, leaving behind a broken woman to die. Kurt turned to her._

"_Half an hour left. What do you want me to say?"_

"_You know what I want Kurt."_

_And Kurt started the quiet, gentle prayer whispered every journey in the Blackbird on the way to a mission, whispered over dead teammates, whispered when they were afraid. And before long the guards were standing beside her._

"_It's time."_

_She didn't scream, didn't fight. Just smiled slightly and softly. And as the wires were carefully placed in the positions she herself had pointed out as the areas of increased coverage. She closed her eyes and felt the chips **burn**. And then she couldn't feel anything, couldn't remember how to breath or how to feel pain. And she slipped away silently, feet moving in the part of her not stored in the brain, running faster and faster, seeing Logan standing there ahead, that cocky grin on his face that he always got when he'd made her react. _

_And everything was perfect._

xXx

_They moved so fast, both bringing their swords around in perfectly matched arcs, their matched red and white tattoos appearing to glow in the dark. Everybody knew what those two had suffered together. That their mothers, one tied by blood, the other by years of care, considered each other friends and then had both been torn from their child, one by the job she did, the other killed in battle, living only long enough to tell her 'daughter' how much she loved her._

_Kurt Darkholme and Tora Bat Etana. Feared, hated, despised. X-Men, ruthless, dangerous, two amazing sword fighters, one favouring rapiers and cutlasses, the other katanas and the curved sickle-swords of her "mother's" people._

_They had fought together since she had joined the X-Men and people whispered that they had known each other before that. And then there had been that sudden day when they stepped out of the same room and no one quite knew what to make of it._

_But it was now 'just one of those things' like the Earth going around the Sun and the fact it rained and that people hated mutants. Kurt and Tora were together and nothing seemed capable of breaking them apart._

xXx

_Etana stood quite still as Nathan pointed again at her._

"_Keep her away from Hope!"_

_Etana raised her eyes._

"_I did what I had to do."_

_They were still in shock. No one had ever thought Etana was so… ruthless. There had been the silence after she had stood there, as they found her, standing in the alley with Bastion cut to shreds, having used Hope as bait to draw him in._

"_You almost killed her!"_

_Etana turned to Scott and her eyes **burned**._

"_I would not have let that happen! Tell them Tora! Tell them what would have happened if Kurt and Rogue had taken her!"_

_Tora raised her head._

"_Kurt would be dead. Kurt would be dead and I would be dying because he is my soul."_

"Vas_?"_

"_We are _Makrrrsts_. We are bound together by souls. Xix, explain."_

_And as the Prince of M'Keer did, Etana turned away._

* * *

><p>"To be the Shadow was difficult."<p>

"I know."


	136. Was And Is A Hero

**Memories**

Was And Is A Hero

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She knew the others were shocked when she came to stand behind Scott and hefted the coffin up onto her shoulder, brushing Piotr as she did so but she looked ahead, knowing that Kurt would want her to be strong, to be proud, to be Tora and to let him go because he was somewhere better, because he was in Heaven, becoming her guardian angel in death as he had been in life.

She helped move the coffin onto the fire and thought over and over again 'That is not Kurt. That is the shell that Kurt inhabited. Kurt is already up there, laughing at us all, because we're all so sad while he's in Heaven.' It wasn't much but it helped her keep control, prevented her from leaving, leaving to the Library and finding his book and tearing out the final page, the one where his death would be. Bobby stood up, dressed in a suit and Tora watched as the others crowded round.

"Thanks everyone for coming. There's so much- -so much happening. Thank you. Kurt would want me to say thank you. He'd also want me to say that I'm a Methodist and this isn't properly Catholic but… well, we're doing the best we can. I wanted to read this. I'm going to skip around some. But I always liked the song when I was a kid: "_He asked me; Son of Man, 'Can these bones come to life'; 'Lord God,' I answered, 'You alone know that'; Then He said to me; 'Prophesy over theses bones and say to them; Dry bones, hear the Word of the Lord! …Thus says the Lord God to these bones; See I will bring Spirit into you, that you may come to life.' I prophesised as he told me and the Spirit came into them; They came alive and stood upright, a vast army. Then He said to me; 'Son of Man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. They have been saying 'our bones are dried up, our hope is lost and we are cut off.' Therefore prophesy and say to them; Thus says the Lord God; 'Oh my people, I will open your graves and have you rise from them, and bring you back to the land of Israel. Then you shall know that I am the Lord when I open your graves and have you rise from them, O my people. I will put my spirit in you that you may live and I will settle you upon your land…_" It's a nice thought anyway."

Tora hung her head, wondering why she still couldn't cry.

"He always made this **insanity** feel like an adventure."

"Of all my students… I taught him the least and learned from him the most."

"Well, he made **me** look like a matinee idol."

"You know, we have been believed dead before. Maybe… Maybe this will work out alright."

"There was never darkness in his presence. Nothing was ever so grim when he was near."

"I hope he found the peace he helped so many of **us** seek. It's the least he deserves…"

"His was the only chapel I ever set foot in."

"He was my brother. He was my friend. He was our light when we lost our way."

Tora gulped. She wanted to say something but wasn't sure. And then she knew.

"I… Kurt was my _Makrrrst_. I don't think anyone will understand that, so here goes –I knew only fear and hate and pain. And then I met Kurt. And I saw the beauty of humanity. I saw the joy, the life, the… adventure. Kurt was and **is** my hero. He is my soul. And without him, we are all nothing."

She noticed someone crying. She didn't mean to act like that. She simply meant to speak her heart.

"Logan…? Do you… Logan?"

"Yeah…"

She could smell the blood on his hands. She knew he was losing control. But tonight, he deserved that.

"Kurt was the only guy who ever looked me in the eyes like a man, and spoke to me like one, and **treated** me like one. No matter what I did or where I was or how I felt. He was my best friend and he never treated me like a damn **animal**. An' now he's—he's gone and—**and for what**? You better be **worth this**, I swear to God!"

Logan walked away and Tora rounded on Scott.

"Why are we still here? We have to find Bastion and destroy him. Now, before anyone else is hurt!"

"We wait Tora. We have to wait."

"I'm **done **waiting! We hang around, waiting for people to wipe us out! I won't stand for this any longer! If we weren't so passive, he would still be alive! We stop running **today**. Now we take the fight to them!"

Xixy stepped up and caught Tora's arm as she stared Scott in the eyes, face twisted in anger.

And then Tora collapsed and Xixy looked up guilty, needle still in his hand.

"I thought it would be easier this way. This is the first stage of the mental deterioration."

* * *

><p>"Ouch?"<p>

"Sorta."

* * *

><p>She stood up and shook them off.<p>

"You need me. I…I'm back in control."

"Really?"

"You need me. I'm one of the most powerful ones. We have Ro, we sort of have Magneto, we have Hope. And we have me. I have lost my soul. Let me make them pay. I have lost my _Makrrrst_. And now I will do what most K'Meer in _Mrrlsta_ do. I am going to find the people who killed Kurt and then I am going to destroy them."

She closed her eyes and smiled.

"I think I know how to do it as well."

She had barely made it outside when suddenly a huge red light started spreading from the sky and she watched as the others panicked but she wasn't mad. She was calm and relaxed, a soulless, emotionless being. The seas rose up and held back the dome and she allowed herself to be calm. And now she knew how Jean had felt, in perfect balance, human and Dragon in equilibrium, with a lodestone of power and then she felt the offer reach her mind.

_I can heal your soul, I can give him back to you but it will hurt._

_I would give the world to have him back._

_It shall not cost the world. Just you._

_Now?_

_No. We must do our duty over our heart. When your Messiah is safe, then we will bring him back._

"SCOTT!"

He turned and froze as he saw her, waves swirling around her outstretched hands.

"Get them out. Get the children out. I cannot hold this forever."

Scott nodded and started barking orders. She concentrated on holding the dome back, allowing a small stream of children to get out, Northstar ferrying them back and forth, mutant and human alike and then she couldn't hold it any longer and collapsed, falling to her knees as the dome closed up. She looked up blearily.

"Kids get out?"

"Almost all of them. Northstar evacuated most of the schools. Jamie and Eva are safe. Are you up for this?"

"Of course Scott. Xixy will tell you what happens right now."

"She will hunt down those who killed Valswaltavber and she will make them pay. She will hunt them down with single-minded focus, because that is what she does."

"There's something on the Bridge!"

Tora whipped her head around and shuddered.

"They are coming."

"Who are?"

"**They are coming**."

"Tora, I'm bringing you with me in the air."

She nodded and allowed him to wrap his arms around her.

"Scott… If all goes wrong… I want your permission for something."

"What?"

"If we are all going to die, I am going to release Dark Dragon."

"WHAT!"

"It's not as stupid as it sounds. I have a vague form of control. In that case, I'll point it towards Bastion and our enemies. And when I have torn them apart, then you kill me."

"Tora… I can't…"

"You can't authorise it? Scott, we've gone way past that. Right now we're just surviving and I think one casualty is better than everyone dying."

He glanced away.

"What am I supposed to tell the others?"

"Don't. This is our last stand. If there is no hope, **then** I will let it loose and you organise the others."

He nodded.

"Fine. You have permission to go Dark Dragon, on your own discretion. But it's last minute only."

"I know Scott. I'm not going to be so stupid as to let it loose when I could destroy them all myself."

They touched down and Tora stared at the pulsating metal.

"We're all dead."

"Tora?"

"I know which reality that comes from. It's Nimrods. We're about to face Nimrods that have managed to kill almost everyone. ARRGGGHHH!"

"Tora!"

"Message—From other side—Need to—She will—Try to—Destroy Master Mold."

And then Bobby was caught by the Nimrod and Tora reacted instinctively, going full-Dragon, her eyes burning and the Dragon engulfing the bridge, picking up water from the Bay and growing larger and larger. And the Nimrods faltered as she tried to hold them back but even then, she couldn't really concentrate on more than three at a time and they started to get past. But the X-Men had got over their original shock and they weren't afraid because standing there, apparently unfussed, hands raised above her head, commanding huge waves, was Tora. But then only a few knew about the Mrrlsta, the fact she was in the stage where anything would go, to take down her soul's murderers.

And finally the last one was destroyed and Tora looked around and gasped. Warren was holding Rogue, Hellion was collapsed, and Bobby appeared to have full-thickness burns. She hurried to the person who looked worst and pressed her hands to Bobby's chest, allowing cool water to gently heal the injuries. She stared at him as his eyes opened.

"Come on Ice-Cube. Can't have you die on us. We need you to give the truly beautiful and inspiring funeral services."

He smiled weakly and tried to wave her away.

"Huuh…heal…worst burns…fine now…help others…"

"Bobby, I can heal all of you. Relax."

He lay back and let her finish healing him then tried to pull himself up but she rested a hand on his chest.

"Stay down. I've not actually fixed you properly. I've merely set a whole bundle of reconstructive cosmic bursts into you. Your body is still using them to heal."

"And when will I know I'm fully healed?"

"You'll start to glow."

"Oh."

She hurried over to Hellion next and stared at his hands.

"I don't think I can regrow them but…"

Again, she let the water lap over him but allowed little splurts to help Surge and Psylocke. She sighed when the stumps cleaned and skin grew over the burnt stumps but the burns on his chest were fixed. She hurried over to Rogue next and got Warren to flip her over.

"Damn! It left the bases in. I'll just have to do the best I can."

She let the waters soak into Rogue's shoulders and then collapsed backwards.

"I feel like I've just been worked over by a cheesed off Celestial."

* * *

><p>"How appropriate. I do so hate being beaten by those stuck-up Celestials."<p>

"Yes, thank you Phoenix."


	137. Losing Tora

**Memories**

Losing Tora

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"Talk to me Henry."

"Iceman **had** third degree energy burns over 25 per cent of his body. We have Tora to thank for his healing, although he's still being fixed. Hellion… His hands are **gone** Scott. And most of one forearm. Tora tried, but she can't heal what has already been destroyed. The city is well past panic at this point. But we have military and police cooperation. Everyone is at risk here, human and mutant alike. Whatever's coming, they all know that the X-Men are their only chance. Tora's strategy to get the children out has definitely bought us favour, and since she sent out the message in the water, we know that X-Club and the Avengers have taken the children to safety."

"The Cuckoos are in contact with the contingent we left at the bridge. If more Sentinels appear-"

"No if. **When** Emma."

"-Then we'll know about it instantly."

"Prodigy, Beast, Dragon, what are we dealing with?"

"The dome is of unknown origin, formed of unknown energy. By all accounts it is physically impenetrable. All communications aside from Dragon's water thing are blocked. Not tech, no telepathy. Only Tora can see out, and she needs water to be able to do it. We don't even know about teleportation. Is anyone even left?"

"Vanisher went MIA when he found out the teleporters were being targeted."

"Wonderful. And as for the sphere, it's streaming an incredible amount of data. I asked Namor to put his hand into it to see what would happen. It's organic- unfriendly. Anyone other than Namor would have been killed. It's temporal, to a certain extent. The sphere is directly connecting our timeline to a future timeline… the one the Nimrod's originate from. However, this allows Tora to contact the version of her from that timeline and so we have an idea of the basic history. Tora, if you would…?"

She looked pale.

"These Nimrods are good. In fact, they're better than good. Their creators kidnapped one of us and took their experience and knowledge and turned it into the main computer. We couldn't outthink or outrun the Sentinels. Almost everyone is dead and I only survived through luck and Hank sacrificing his life to convert my digital scanners. Our only hope is in the time it has been since the last stand. The Nimrods aren't used to fighting. If we hit them, we have to hit them hard and silently. They cannot be aware we are coming."

"Whose brain? Who are we up against with all these Sentinels?"

Tora raised her head, her eyes betraying her exhaustion.

"They… They got Etana. We are fighting robots with three-thousand years of combat experience…"

Scott took this in his stride.

"How many?"

Prodigy looked ill.

"Our sensors analysed data from the sphere and downed Nimrods. The ones Dragon didn't obliterate, at any rate… They're in contact with the central A.I. in the future… we think… we think… I…oh god, I can't do this."

"How. Many."

"The sensors failed after 170,000."

No one spoke for a while.

"Well, I'm no mathematician, but that seems bad."

"I… We have to get out of here. Oh god, we're all going to die here."

"Shut up."

"You don't understand! We've got no chance here! I've seen the data—the odds are—"

"Shut the hell up and get yourself together. Or else you **will** die here."

"Logan… Back off now."

"I suggest you say something brilliant darling, before we pass out the Kool-Aid."

"Cable."

Tora gave a little gasp of understanding.

"We still have one bullet left… Cable and Hope came back to the present using a time-travel device. Cable's still got it. If Bastion's sending Hell after us from the future, then we send a team into that future to shut it down. We take the fight to them. Tora, can we count on the last few mutants there?"

"The entire mutant race is preparing to assemble for battle. They're not… They're messed up."

"You make it sound so easy."

"Scott…even if I could attune Cable's device to that specific time, even with Tora's help…what then? You heard the same numbers everyone else in this room is keenly aware of, and the Sentinels aren't known for their ability to be persuaded. Especially if they have Etana's mind-print."

"But we have someone who speaks their language. Cypher. Prodigy said they're all reporting to a central A.I. –If Cypher can access that system, he can rewrite it. He can take control of it. And then he can shut down every single Sentinel it controls. He can wipe them out simultaneously."

"Yeah? Well you're forgetting about Ramsey's one weakness… bullets."

"You son of a bitch!"

"Dani, **enough**! Logan's right. That's why I'm sending a team in with Doug to get him there."

"And who exactly are you going to send on this suicide mission?"

"I'll go. I'll absorb all the powers I can take and then-"

Tora shook her head violently.

"No, send Xixy and me. He's not a mutant, he's pretty much impossible to kill and he would **love** to be fighting. And if I go with him, we have a healer on the team as well."

"No. I'm sending in X-Force."

"Damn."

"X-Force? I'm not aware of-"

"Tell them Scott. Tell them about this team of **killers** you've assembled. The ones you sent to kill Bishop and god knows who else."

"I'm sorry, **what**? Scott… is this true?"

"Yes."

"…If we survive this, you and I have a lot to talk about."

"Fine, but right now we have work to so. Psylocke, you're in charge of clearing the city… get as many people as far away from the sphere as you can. Rogue, I need you to evacuate all humans and non-combatants to the Atlantean column. We have to stabilise the wounded and get them out of here. When this goes down, it's going to happen fast. We need to be ready for the casualties. Everyone who can fight, fights. Because we're out of time. Tora, I'm afraid we can't have you on the front line."

"WHAT!"

"We need you here. You'll be our link with X-Force and we'll need a healer."

"Scott…"

"Don't question me Tora!"

"FINE! But if I think I should be there, or if, Heaven forbid, I think **it** should be there, then I am going."

"What? Tora, are you and Scott planning something?"

Emma shuddered.

"Tora, you can't."

"I have to."

"What's she planning?"

"If everything goes wrong… She's going to let Dark Dragon out, destroy Bastion and the Sentinels, and then get us to kill her."

They stared at her.

"It is a last ditch effort. I hope it shouldn't come to that."

* * *

><p>"I would never be so foolish as to think I could control Dark Phoenix."<p>

"She could though. Dark Dragon was a part of her."

* * *

><p>"Stay safe."<p>

She kissed Logan's cheek, trying to forget that last person she had said goodbye to in that manner. Curt stood back, looking angry.

"I should be allowed to go! They won't sense me! Laura can go! I'm on X-Force! I want to go!"

She turned to look at him. Then at Logan. Who suddenly held out a hand.

"You're protecting Doug. You do not engage the enemy unless it is absolutely necessary. You do not kill. You simply get Doug in, get him out, as fast as possible."

"Maman…?"

She looked at Logan and knew this was him trying to make up for his mistakes. Then she turned to Curt.

"This is your choice. But I don't… I don't want you to be hurt."

The symbiote thickened around him, the orange bleaching from it until it was black and white. She knew Logan had let Curt go on a few low risk missions with X-Force, keeping him away from the dirty jobs. But it was hard to see him in his X-Force uniform.

"I am not going to be hurt. Poison will not let anyone hurt me."

She blinked back tears and hugged him close, before standing on tiptoes to kiss his forehead.

"Why are you letting me go?"

"You're too like your father. You'd jump into the time-shift as it left."

She gave Laura a hug and slipped something into her hand as she did so.

"When you get back, I swear we will finally get around to doing something together. Something that isn't training, saving the world or protecting the cookie jar. What **is** it that mothers and daughters actually **do** together?"

She wasn't expecting Laura to wrap her arms tightly around her, but she hugged her back all the same.

"I love you Laura. As much as Jamie and Eva and Curt."

"Thank you…"

She pulled away and smiled sadly.

"I'll be waiting on the other side."

Cable walked over and Tora moved to wrap her arm around Hope's shoulder.

"Cable! Go!"

There was a 'VVVVVVVMMM!' noise and then they were gone. Emma glanced at Tora, who was now holding Hope closer, looking like she was trying not to cry.

"Do you really think they can do it?"

"… I do."

"…Scott. Scott, what aren't you telling me?"

"I just killed them."

Tora's head snapped up, eyes widening. Emma was looking at Scott in confusion.

"You just said that-"

"Cable's tech… It only had one jump left. He knew it. They all knew it. They went anyway. It's a one way trip, win or lose. I just killed X-Force. I just killed my son."

Tora turned.

"AND YOU DIDN'T THINK TO TELL ME! WHEN MY SON CHOSE TO GO WITH MY HUSBAND AND THE GIRL I THINK OF AS MY DAUGHTER!"

Hope pulled out of Tora's hold and hit Scott across the jaw.

"YOU SON OF A **BITCH**! How could you? **A suicide mission**! You sent Cable on a **SUICIDE MISSION**?"

"Hope. I need you to listen to me right now-"

"No—"

"—Hope—"

"**NO**— No. No, I will **never** listen to you. You just killed my father."

"… Hope—"

"No. I hate you Scott Summers. I hate you more than anything. You sent them all to **die**-!"

"Hope, wait—"

"Well **that** went well."

"Her eyes. Did you see her eyes? They looked just like mine… Ooffh…"

Tora pulled back, her eyes wild with anger.

"Give me one good reason not to kill you **right now,** Summers. Give me one good reason, because you are a second from Never. Having. Been. Born."

"Here's the deal. We survive. And then you can do whatever you want to me, because I deserve it."

"And Curt? What about him? He's **insane**! You sent a mentally ill child to his death!"

"He made his choice. As have we all."

Tora glared at him.

"I'm going to do as you asked. I will keep in contact with my husband, son and step-daughter. And when this is over, you will answer to your crimes."

She walked off, eyes glowing silver. Emma stared after her.

"Scott, I fear we have just lost Tora forever."

* * *

><p>"Can we see the Tora X-Force met?"<p>

"Of course."


	138. Old Man

**Memories**

Old Man

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"We're hosed."

"Ah, come on. I've blown up bigger things than this."

"Logan…"

"Oh my god. They've killed us all. Tora lied. We're all dead. **They've killed us all**!"

"Not quite all…"

They turned and gasped. A thin, worn woman was limping towards them.

"I am the last. I am the only mutant, and I only survived because Beast gave his life to change my digital chips. Sapiens can no longer see me."

"Er…Dad, who are you talking to?"

"You brought everyone? We will need to fight."

Laura stepped forward and pulled back the hair to reveal four parallel scars in a face with empty staring eyes.

"What did they do to you?"

"They broke me Laura. They finally broke me."

"Hey!

"Look out!"

"Attention trespassers! Your presence in this zone is expressly forbidden! Extreme prejudice is to be exercise in- in- in- Holy god. MUTANTS!"

They were still in shock but Tora wasn't. She leapt forward, claws going through the windscreen and into the operator's chest. Logan, Laura and Warren took from her cue. Curt shuddered.

"Who did that?"

"Someone explain my presence to the idiot."

"Poison, the version of your mother here can only be seen by mutants. But she's here and she's fighting with us. If she can with that limp."

For Tora was indeed dragging her leg behind her. She looked up.

"I can fight. I can kill. That is all that matters."

* * *

><p>"So sad to see her so terribly lost."<p>

"I know Phoenix. I know."

* * *

><p>Rogue walked in and found Hope leaning on the table beside Tora, whose eyes were unfocussed.<p>

"And then we must fight to survive. The Sentinels-"

"Hope?"

"I shouldn't be crying. He wouldn't like it that I'm crying."

"Is…Is that what Cable told you? That you shouldn't cry?"

"No. We saw a lot of war while we were away. Sometimes I got hurt. Cable never cared if I cried. But he did have a rule… Win first. Cry later."

Tora started and then smiled.

"Wonderful rule. Are you any good with a sword?"

Rogue blinked. Hope was picking up a gun and Tora had reached out and pulled out two katanas, one black, the other polished white.

"I'm supposed to be taking you into hiding."

"If I have to be a 'Messiah', I won't be the type that lets people **die** for me. Not while I do nothing."

"I promised Scott I wouldn't let you get hurt."

"I have Dragon by my side. Dragon has katanas. Do you think she will let me get hurt? Come with me."

Rogue smiled. Tora flipped Muzai and Tsumi around in her hands, smiling dangerously. Hope grinned.

"So, do either of you **actually** have a plan?"

"Go in, chop all the Nimrods into itty-bitty pieces, castrate Scott. Done."

* * *

><p>"I do so love it when she got all military on us."<p>

"Actually, she scared me when she did that."

"I think that was sort of the **point**."

* * *

><p>"Warren, you're go. Cypher, stay back. Poison, with Cypher."<p>

Curt prepared to bemoan his fate but sat back looking grumpy as three guards were gutted by someone he couldn't see. He listened to Cypher talking and then suddenly an Exonim arrived behind then.

"X-Gene Test Positive. Lethal Force Authorised. X-Gene Test Negative. Lethal Force Unauthorised."

"You don't have to do this, you know. 10101110001101 You're only a slave to them. I can set you free. Show you how to think for yourself. Set you free. 01110101010"

"You can't talk me out of killing you mutie…"

"I wasn't talking to you."

"Wha-!"

11010101010101

Curt leant over the man and smiled.

"What are you doing! You aren't a mutie!"

"No. I'm an insane brain-eating alien. Yum yum."

Curt pulled away from the man when the tendrils slipped out of the symbiote's prey's ears and grabbed Cypher.

"Dad… Sorry, Wolverine is signalling."

They hurried over, using the Exonim. As soon as they entered, Poison hurried Cypher along, getting him towards the Master Mold producing Nimrods, as the other one stood up. And as Tora leapt towards it, she fell as if struck by an invisible fist.

* * *

><p>"Ouch. I <strong>hate<strong> those mental scramblers."

* * *

><p>"See to your patients Dr McCoy. I will see to our enemies."<p>

A girl stepped up beside him.

"I can help."

"What can you do child? Die at their feet?"

She glared at him, her black hair writhing back into a bun.

"I may not be an X-Man, old man, but I know how to fight. I can tear them to shreds. I can make a forest in a second. Old man, against to you and me, those buckets of bolts don't stand a chance."

"Old man…? I like you."

Cia grinned and suddenly tendrils of plants on Utopia started to stir.

* * *

><p>The woman got up again and walked away. Death leant over to Phoenix.<p>

"What's wrong with her?"

"She feels she could have done more for the girl."

* * *

><p>"Nothing this big can be light on its feet. We hit and run, we can take it <strong>down<strong>."

"Keep telling yourself that Warren. But take it from me. It's a lot quicker than it looks."

"Armour's—about a foot **thick**."

"Back off X and let me try. Six pounds of plastique. Pinhead EMPS. White phosphorus. A kiss on the cheek from Satan."

The blast threw Laura and Domino back. Tora stared at Cable.

"Get me up there."

"What?"

"Get up there, **now**! …Fastball special!"

"Oh… That's what you meant!"

She was flung up and clawed at the Master Mold's face. But she slipped and fell, hitting the ground hard. Whereas the normal Tora would be up in a second, this one seemed unable to move as the foot crashed down on her…

Meanwhile, Curt was hurrying Cypher along.

"Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry."

And Doug entered the Master Mold.

_Mutant point of origin confirmed. Anomalous timeline designate 22554 23. You represent **data**. Data of tactical and strategic importance. Your mind will be assimilated—and then erased._

"Yes. Please proceed. But that means you have to hit me with some machine code, correct? Can't assimilate me without building an interface. **TALK** TO ME!"

Meanwhile Curt felt the symbiote bulk up as the guards set towards them. And together they **roared**.

* * *

><p>"Oh dear."<p>

"Yes, oh dear. The poor men never knew what hit them."

"Er… They **were** trying to kill him."

"Yes, but no one deserves to have his brain sucked out of his ears by a ravenous alien."

* * *

><p>Storm fell to the ground but then the Nimrod was shot. She looked up and stared. Hope, Rogue and Tora were all standing side by side, looking terrifying. A teenager with a huge number of oversized guns, a small woman with two <strong>very<strong> sharp looking katanas and Rogue, who was beginning to get that 'I once was a mutant terrorist' smile. And then Hope blasted the Nimrod as another came up behind her and Tora effortlessly brought the swords round together, beheading the robot. Hope smiled.

"Thanks."

"Least I could do."

And Storm had a sudden feeling that Hope wasn't so much a Summers as a Logan.

* * *

><p>"I love that look."<p>

"What look? The one of understanding whilst under fire? The agreement that they would both kill Scott Summers slowly and painfully, taking it in turns to kick him between the legs?"

* * *

><p>"Mutant energy capacity at 32%."<p>

"More than enough Robot."

"Tactical analysis suggests otherwise."

Magneto was sent flying.

"Your—analysis overlooks—**two** things. I—built this asteroid. Primarily out of **iron**."

Huge shots of metal flew upright as trees grew tall and powerful, hundreds of years of growth being compressed into a matter of seconds. Cia backed up to Magneto, grinning slightly.

"So old man? Still think I'm a waste of space?"

"Nothing of the sort child. You were the other thing they had overlooked. And by **far** the more important one."

Her hands clenched and the wood tightened around Nimrods, tearing them to pieces. Max smiled slightly as he saw the look of intense concentration on her face. This was a child after his own heart.

* * *

><p>"How sweet. And how <strong>sad<strong>."

* * *

><p><em>Brain activity mapped as repeating cycle. Periodicity 6… S, Valency level .098V. PeakTrough mapping +/- .17 angstroms in mid-delta band. Presence of methyl paratyrosine in concentrations of .043/.091… G Regulates peak/trough variation._

"You're missing—the point. There's—more to this than—raw numbers.

_Statement is erroneous. All things are expressible in digital form. All things are algorithms—_

"N-No! No!"

_-Predicted and **controlled** via mathematically derived models. Interface established. Assimilation proceeds._

"So you're **killing** me. I get that. Killing me with **numbers**. Terrible, **perfect** numbers. I can see the pattern now. I can **copy** them. Write back in—the pieces of my mind—that you're destroying. And then—I can start to improvise."

_Un Unauth Unauthorised input. Rereouting—_

_Thank you Mr Ramsay. I have lived in Hell, all these years, forced to kill my own kind. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a lot of making up to do._

"You're… You're still alive…"

_It will take more than a few wipes to defeat an old bird like me. Now go back Mr Ramsay. I have **everything** under control._

Outside, Curt sent out huge webs to catch the falling Master Mold.

* * *

><p>"What <strong>did<strong> she end up doing?"

"Oh, reprogramming all the Nimrods to have the personalities of her fallen X-Men friends, relighting the mutant torch, etc, etc."


	139. Tree of Sacrifice

**Memories**

Tree of Sacrifice

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

They hurried through the wood that had sprung up, seeing scattered bits of Nimrod everywhere.

"Look at this. Did Magneto and that girl **kill** them all?"

"I don't think so. One minute they were everywhere. The next—they just fell out of the sky and stopped moving."

"Over there! He's **alive**."

"Just about."

"Don't be—afraid children. The **danger**—has passed. Did I ever tell you—that your destiny—is to inherit the **Earth**? Where… where is the girl?"

They looked around and froze. Magneto pulled himself upright and walked towards Cia, taking in everything, the full-blown forest around her, her body pressed up to the tree, and a shard of shrapnel sticking through her stomach.

"Did… did… did I do…well?"

He stared at her in horror.

"I did this to you…"

She looked up, her green eyes clouded with pain.

"Did…did…we…win?"

"Yes."

"Good… I can…go then…"

"I'm sorry…"

He pulled the hair away from her eyes, looking into them.

"I…I…did…w-well…didn't…I, old…old man?"

"Yes. You did very well."

"She… she was right… I… I was…hiding…in myself… I…I am the trees…and flowers…and grass… Huh… have…gift… did…use…r-r-right?"

"Yes. You have used it better than I ever could."

And as he watched, she closed her eyes and let the tree grow around her, encasing her forever in its thick and ancient trunk.

* * *

><p>"So is <strong>that<strong> why Tora insisted on keeping that old oak, even when the rest of the forest was destroyed."

"It was the Tree of Sacrifice. All dead X-Men had their names carved into the tree, in memory of the fallen in the Second Coming."

* * *

><p>"Curt! How's it going kid?"<p>

"It was **way cool**! Cypher-dude did this wicked boom-boom thing!"

"Get Cypher out."

"He's still breathing, but barely. We'd better get him out of here."

"Dom. Let me."

He carefully pulled out Cypher and carried him, feeling a bit guilty about the thought that asked if Ramsay would consider dieting. But that was pushed aside when he got outside.

"**LAURA**! What the Hell happened to X?"

"She's **alive**. She tried to step through the time-membrane. Intel was right. Nothing organic can go through."

"Had to—try. The membrane—is **shrinking**. When it closes—it's **gone** for good."

"Seriously, are we going to stand here and watch it blink out and strand us here forever? Because I don't think I could **take** that."

Curt reached out but Warren snatched his hand away.

"Laura heals! You won't! And we have to hide, because the Sentinels will be coming."

"Won't…"

They turned to look at Cypher.

"What?"

"She… back…control…Shadow…controls…them…"

They looked at one another.

"Well, that's one less problem to worry about. But we've lost our native. She's dead. We've lost our link home."

* * *

><p>"Ah, my dears, if only it were that <strong>simple<strong>."

* * *

><p>"Hope, thank god you're safe. Rogue, Dragon, we'll <strong>talk<strong> about this later. Right now the final priority is to do a final sweep and make sure-"

He stopped. You usually do that when the muzzle of a big gun is stuffed under your chin and when the sword that took down Sabretooth is also hovering somewhere around the stomach area, you don't talk.

"You use my **name** again—I'm going to part your hair with a big piece of your **jawbone**."

"Nathan did what **had** to be done. He saved us all. And he did it for you. I mourn him to."

"You **mourn** him?"

"I mourn them **all**. They were my friends."

"They were your **cannon fodder**! You sent them to do what you didn't have the **guts** to do yourself! You sent them to **die** and now you're gonna stand there and make **speeches** about them!"

Tora leant forward and spoke quietly, dangerously, her blood-splattered face without a tear on it, unlike Hope's, who was crying with anger and sorrow.

"You sent my children to their deaths. I will find a way of killing you slowly. I will make you feel all the pain I shall feel, every day, until I die."

"CYCLOPS! The—The membrane! Something is **coming** **through** the membrane!"

And as Cable's head appeared, both Tora and Hope allowed a small spark to light up in their chests.

Domino burst through, holding Laura, who instantly gained every speck of Tora's attention and gained a quick burst of the waters to heal the worst of her injuries. Then Poison, bulked up tremendously to help protect himself. He hurried to his mother's side, checking his 'sister's' pulse.

Warren burst through next and Tora automatically switched to him, placing a wave around him then ran to Logan as he burst through, holding the injured Cypher. And then she turned to Nathan, trying to hold out a hand.

"I can heal you Nathan. Just give me your hand."

And he shattered as Hope screamed his name. And Tora caught her as she collapsed then rocked her back and forth, muttering something in a language no one knew. Hope let Tora hold her close but when she sensed Scott she almost exploded.

"Hope…I…I'm sorry…I… You need to come-"

"If you put that hand on me, I swear to god you will lose it."

"Hope…"

"You did this. This is all your fault. I hate you. **I hate-**"

And the bridge shattered and Tora was thrown away from Hope, falling into the water. And Bastion flew down as Hope pulled herself. And then as they called for her to run, one person called for her to fight.

"HOPE! Here!"

The girl glanced round. Tora was standing in the shallows of the water, left hand close to her chest, right hand reaching towards her.

"TAKE IT!"

The left hand flew out as the right snapped in and a burst of water swirled towards Hope. The woman fell and slipped away into the deep water but Hope didn't notice because something like a silver candle was worming its way into her mind.

_Little One._

_What are you?_

_I am Knowledge._

And suddenly she **knew**. How to fight, how to survive, how to live and love and hate and burn with anger. She knew everything about Marie Howlett, called Tora Logan and Tigress and Dragon and Xii and… She **was** Tora. And Tora took control of her mutation, reaching out and grabbing powers.

_Psionic Exo-Armour for defence. Optic blasts for long-range offence. Organic Steel Transformation for defence and short-range offence. You don't mind this do you? Keep talking, keep them thinking that Hope Summers is in control. Don't worry, you'll learn to control this. I'm just helping you here. You'll learn this in your own time. Thermokinesis for impeding his mobility. Electrokinesis for disrupting his circuits. Geokinesis for desperate attacks, always good to have something like that. And finally, just a little bit of **me** to give you the energy you need. You see the glowing in the distance. Steal some of the light._

Tentatively, Hope reached out, all the while allowing her anger to get the better of her. And then it was like she hadn't been fighting moments before because she was full of energy and for a second she thought she felt Nathan but that was just her imagination. And she let the rage and the power out and watched as Bastion faltered, snarled as she attacked him with instinct that even the thing curled in her mind couldn't give her, then the man in black and the woman in blue leapt together, two sets of claws slicing at him, both screaming words Hope couldn't hear but she ignored that. Because they didn't matter any longer, only one person mattered and he was dead.

"I'm ready now Nathan. I'm ready."

_Ready? Really little girl?_

The anger from that statement drove Hope over the edge and she burned them all away, shattered the red dome. Then turned to the woman in blue, Tora Logan and blinked. It wasn't much, just a way of understanding. _Thank you__. _And she let the waves leave her, but there was something of herself in them, something that had been a part of her for so long she didn't even realise it was there. But Dragon didn't seem to notice, merely shuddered as the waves crowded around her mouth and nose trying to get back in.

And Tora closed her eyes as she heard her own voice cry out again.

"FOR KURT!"

* * *

><p>"Well, I never knew how bad it was."<p>

"It was bad Death. It was terrible."


	140. Weaving The World

**Memories**

Weaving the World

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She lay on the stone floor of the make-shift chapel and screamed as she curled herself into a ball, as the man rocked her back and forth, trying to help her get over the anger, the all-consuming **hate** of the friend who had left her. Second stage _Mrrlsta_. Hatred of the person who had left and torn you to shreds. She screamed again, hot tears burning her face as she shouted again and again, called his name, tried to bring him home to her, but Kurt Wagner was not listening, or if he was, he could not answer.

And Xixy rocked his god to sleep, as she cried on the floor of the chapel.

* * *

><p>"And of course, Logan was all sealed up about it and wasn't there for when she needed him most."<p>

* * *

><p>Curt stared at his father.<p>

"What, kid?"

"Two words. X. Force."

"We're shut down. Gone. Slim saw to that."

"No you're not. I know you've restarted it."

"Kid, we haven't."

"I want on."

"Kid, even if we had restarted X-Force, I wouldn't let you on. I…I…"

"X-Force goes up against real evil dudes. I'm not a mutant. I get past their sensors."

"Curt, you're not ever going to be doing something like X-Force ever again, even if we did have something like it."

"I know you have and if you don't let me on it, I'm telling Maman."

Silence for a second. Then Logan sighed and pulled his hands down his face.

"Fine. But if I ever think I'm going to lose you, you go straight back home. You almost died in that hell. I'm not putting you at risk again."

Curt blinked.

"Are you… Are you being **caring**?"

* * *

><p>"I don't know whether to be amused or sad about the surprise in his voice."<p>

* * *

><p>She stepped into the torn up roots of the tree. Strictly speaking, she; as in Tora; shouldn't be here. But Dragon had a VIP backstage pass. The hooded figure looked up.<p>

"Dragon…"

"Are you Skuld, Urd or Verdandi? You all look the same in those cloaks."

"I am Urd."

The weaver. The middle sister.

"I have a…request to make."

"You wish to see the tapestry?"

She nodded.

"My sisters will show you."

They were being exceptionally polite, a part of their…complicated relationship. The Norns chose the fates of mortals, and as such, came under Dragon's jurisdiction. But Tora, as a mortal, had her life woven into the tapestry of the world. They had come to a neat agreement. Tora would not try and tell them what to do, the Fates would not mess around with things that would upset her. And they let her thread just do what it wanted to do, which apparently was rather easy as it just sort of meandered comfortably, until last week, when every rule had been thrown out of the window.

Urd gestured to the tapestry.

"There is your thread."

It was short, in comparison to the full length of the weaving. It started out as a sort of warm carmine, then turned into shimmering, glimmering silver. Twice, it was knotted to a longer dark vermillion red thread; that often curled around it, but it was only knotted twice; spitting out new threads. The first knot only produced one ice-blue thread. The second knot produced two; a deep imperial purple and a bright orange thread that seemed to have a slight silver gleam to it. And coiled inside it from shortly before the red turned silver, so tightly the two threads almost appeared one, was a deep indigo thread. The indigo thread was pulled out slightly, being torn from the silver, which had caused damage to the silver thread, starting to unravel it.

"We are sorry. But the thread had already been cut. Of course, with things as they are, it is highly likely that the scissors will have turned out to be blunt and we didn't actually cut it."

But Tora was not paying attention to the Fate, instead tracing the dark vermillion thread back. Shortly after it had curled the first time around the carmine thread, it seemed to be running close to a pale cherry-blossom pink, then went back further, more than once twisting around another thread, a few times knotting and producing another thread. In the grand scheme of things, it was only one thread, but its length alone made it impressive. But even then, it wasn't exactly huge in comparison to the blood-red thread that often ran alongside it and stretched back even further. Tora looked up.

"I want to see the thread of Etana Bat Aleka."

"Etana… Bat… Aleka…? Skald?"

Another cloaked woman stepped up.

"Was she the daughter of the Cheyarafim prince and Azazel's daughter?"

"Yes."

"This way."

Skald led the way back along the huge tapestry.

"Yes, she has caused much trouble over the years. Verdandi should have come down heavier on her."

And then Skald smiled.

"Here."

She was pointed at a thread that started from a knot between a dove-grey and an inky black thread; a glossy, silvery black, but Tora wasn't interested in the colour. Instead she was staring at the end of the thread. It was shorter than Logan's thread, it was shorter even than hers. Basing it on her calculations from previous visits, she estimated the length of the thread was about thirteen years.

"This is wrong."

"No it is not. Verdandi cut it when the child was born. It's not our fault she refused to die, ended up poking holes in the tapestry as we tried to fix what she ended up damaging."

Tora blinked. Every now and then, a little flash of silver seemed to appear next to Etana's thread, so small she could hardly see it. But she turned.

"She was alive. She was alive for around three-thousand years."

"No. She wasn't alive. She died the day the thread was cut. But… well, a certain **someone**, who answers to no authority but the Tribunal and the One-Above-All, decided to offer her a job. It allowed her to maintain a semblance of life whilst in actuality, she was one of the beings we do not weave."

"And what beings don't you weave?"

"Cosmic entities, anthropomorphic personifications and… angels."

* * *

><p>"What sort of angels?"<p>

"Real angels. Not the sort that followed the pantheons. But the angels of the One-Above-All. They served him and were not bound by the Fates of the Aesir."


	141. The Anger of Grief

**Memories**

The Anger of Grief

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She lay on the other side of the bed, a huge rift between them that Logan didn't know how to bridge. It could have been X-Force, but he didn't think it was that. No, he thought it was Kurt, who she tried to pretend had never existed at all. He'd saved the cardboard box of all the photos and presents she had tried to throw out. She didn't even wear the little silver cross anymore. That had been when he realised how angry she was. He'd been sorting out the box, fixing up the little cat-shaped letter holder Kurt had given her on her twenty-third, when he's found the cross, the chain tangled and broken. She hadn't even bothered to unclip it, merely ripped it off her neck and thrown it into the box of memories.

He'd taken it to get fixed and now carried it around with him. Not just as a reminder of Kurt, because he didn't need one of those, but as a reminder of how **Tora** used to be, before she seemed so angry and hurt, alone but for that stupid cat. She wouldn't talk to him, wouldn't tell him what was wrong, what she needed.

And now she lay curled up on the other side of the bed, refusing to move closer, lying perfectly still, a living statue, unable to let her emotions out. She wouldn't even say Kurt's **name**. He would have thought she hated Kurt, if it hadn't been for the long conversation with Xixy.

_First they are filled with a need for revenge. They will do whatever they can to kill the person who killed their _Makrrrst_ and then they go into second-stage _Mrrlsta_. They hate the person who left them so broken. Hope to Dragon that she remains in that stage for a long time. For after anger comes acceptance. And with acceptance comes death._

He wasn't certain what he wanted. Tora to remain in this angry haze, or for her to finally deal with her grief and let Kurt go. But she wouldn't really let him go, would she? She would go to him, to find the missing piece of her soul. He had lost his best friend, and his wife, in one fell swoop.

He'd always known Kurt and Tora were close. They would exchange glances after training and both burst out laughing; they would talk with their eyes, never once saying a word; they would sit together after a difficult mission, hands resting together as they bowed their heads together. He didn't even understand at times exactly what made them so alike. No. He **did** know.

They had both suffered. Kurt had been rejected by his mother at birth, grown up a freak. Tora had been a monster, an animal. Kurt lived with the stigma of his parents. Tora lived with waking nightmares and was unable to unsheathe her claws without seeing what had been done to her. Kurt had been accepted and then the very people he trusted had shut him in a cage, shown him off as a freak. Tora had a friend who she accidentally sent to her death.

They both were humorous. Kurt was all smiles and jokes and joyful smiles; a happy, friendly, jokeful man, who made out that life was a circus, that clowning around would make life so much more bearable. He was right. And then there was Tora's dark humour, her sarcasm and dry wit, so perfect for in battle, where a quick comeback could often be as good as a well-thrown punch. He'd walked in once on one of their quick-fire punning matches, where they would return witticisms back and forth, laughing and teasing, Kurt relying on wordplay, Tora using tone and infliction to make her comments humorous, pushing back his joking remarks with yawns and 'is that the **best** you can do?'s.

They were both selfless. Kurt was dead. Joyful, peaceful Kurt was dead because he gave his life. But he'd given so much before that. Kind words, understanding, that steady arm, the voice of reason. Tora had given up more than Logan had realised. He saw it when Laura had opened her hand to reveal a tightly folded slip of paper. On it were a list of names. Names and dates and numbers and **proof**. Tora had given Laura everything she could every want to strike back at Weapon X, the people who had made her kill her own mother. And when he asked her how she had gained the information, she had just turned her head away and told him that he wouldn't approve. What could she do that was more terrible than he did on an almost daily basis? And then he realised. She had gone against all her morals, her code. She had sold her own secrets, sold her own blood, all to help Laura. Tora had sold herself for a day, for a maniac doctor to dissect and cackle over, to get that list of names.

They were both so bright, despite the darkness. If you couldn't see Tora with the kids, she'd be in the chapel, talking animatedly with Kurt, laughing, joking, teasing each other. Or maybe they'd be debating the finer points of their faith, comparing differences, questioning at times.

They were both dead. Kurt was gone, his ashes scattered on the wind. Tora might not be dead in body but her heart had gone out of it. Only Jamie, Eva, Curt and Laura could ever make her smile, make her laugh, make the old Tora come back. And then she'd slip away again, like an iceberg on the sea.

And that was why he was too afraid to reach out and touch her. He was afraid her skin would be icy cold, pale with death. Her spark had gone.

* * *

><p>"Didn't she end up going insane and trying to kill everyone?"<p>

"Yes, but it took a while. She held on so long for the anger stage."

* * *

><p>She stepped into the hub and everyone stopped. She wasn't wearing her normal uniform.<p>

Until yesterday, she had long silver boots and gloves and a bright blue long-sleeved uniform, with a silver tied belt and a dragon emblazoned on her chest, a silver version of her Tigress headdress on her face. The headdress was all that remained.

Her boots were dark blue, almost the grey of a stormy sea. There were no sleeves on this new uniform, which was a darker blue than her previous one. The gloves, the same dark blue as the boots, were small and folded over at the wrist. Silver bindings wrapped up until her elbow. And there was a large dragon on her chest and stomach, the head at the base of her neck, the tail curling down to her navel, the wings sweeping round to cover her arms. It was darker than her previous uniform, more aggressive. From someone who seemed pretty fixed in her last uniform, sometimes adding a black triangle or changing the size of the dragon, it was a huge departure. Finally Scott spoke up.

"What's with the new costume?"

Tora turned around, eyes fixing sharply on his glasses and Scott suddenly realised she was one of very few people who acted as if there were actually eyes behind the glasses, not just weapons.

"I am not who I was. I wanted to reflect that. I am not the woman I used to be, so why should I dress the same?"

She walked over to the globe linked to Cerebra.

"Where do you want me Scott? Vancouver? Tokyo with Logan? Mexico City? Nigeria? Or the Ukraine?"

"No Tora. I want you to stay here. I want you to protect Utopia."

"What?"

"Storm's in Nigeria, Angel and Bobby are already in Vancouver, I've sent out Bets and Reyes to Mexico, Logan's got Tokyo covered and the Light in Europe is moving fast. I've sent out a lot of the big guns and I want you here, to protect the non-combatants."

"Rogue?"

"Rogue is sticking close to Hope and she's off active roster."

"Why?"

"Because she put Hope in danger. I was going to take you off, but Emma dissuaded me because we rely on you a bit too much. We're working on a new strategy. Like you said, we need to be ready if you've gone Logan or something."

Tora nodded curtly, her eyes flashing.

"Is that everything?"

"Yes."

She walked out, head down.

* * *

><p>"And that was when they stopped relying on her, because she was falling."<p>

"Is it just me, or does that look like the red and gold costume I once wore?"

"That **was** what it was based on."

"Ahh. That explains it."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N.<strong> Tora's new uniform is a personification of the new, darker period she's about to go through. I always found Jean's X-Men Revolution uniform quite aggressive compared to her normal Phoenix costume and that's what I based this costume on. Tora's about to change quite drastically._


	142. Avenge the Dead

**Memories**

Avenge the Dead

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She sighed.

"What do you want Steve?"

He stared at her then nodded.

"I want you on an Avengers team."

"What?"

"I want you on the New Avengers team."

"Why?"

"Because we need someone with your experience and ability in espionage on the team."

"Get Natasha."

"Tora, I'm going to tell you something highly classified. Do you have somewhere we can go without being heard?"

She nodded and walked in silence to an empty room then turned.

"Talk."

"Publicly, I'm setting up two teams. The Avengers, headed by Tony and Bucky and the New Avengers, headed by Cage. I'm also setting up a strike team, the Secret Avengers, which I'll be heading. Natasha's on that. And Natasha's computer skills are nothing compared to yours."

"Steve, I'm busy. I have a family; I have X-Men duties; I have clean-up to do; I have a memorial service to organise for the dead; Ariel, another a girl who chose to fight instead of sit back. Come Steve. I want to show you our new forest."

She walked out of the room and along the corridor, Steve having to break into a jog to keep up.

"Tora, I appreciate you have a lot to do. But Cage and Jessica are thinking of hiring a nanny. You could leave Eva and Jamie with them?"

"I have my own problems Steve. I have a great deal on my plate right now."

"Tora, please."

She stopped and Steve gasped at the clump of ancient looking trees.

"How did- How did this all grow?"

"Come with me. I'll show you."

They walked along a path that was lit up with candles placed along the way.

"What's with the candles?"

"This has become our memorial grove. Here."

She pointed at a tree, a tree with a face in it. A young woman, carved eyes closed, an expression of serenity on her face.

"That is all that remains of Cia. She was a girl who lived on the streets and protected mutant children. Her gift was to talk to plants, control them and turn her DNA into that of various plants. She helped me find Curt, she came when Wanda destroyed us, and she became our early warning system, despite her powers deteriorating. I liked her. She was this strong, thoughtful, altruistic woman, who had gone through too much. Her guardians burnt her arm, turning it into ash when they found out she was a mutant. She was trapped as a wooden figure for over two years, until I healed her. And then…"

"What?"

"Magneto was preparing to defend Utopia and she went with him. She caused this forest to grow in a matter of minutes; saved heaven knows how many lives. And she was hit with shrapnel. Died in agony. Her last act was to encase herself in one of her beloved trees. She represents everything we are fighting for. This is the Tree of Sacrifice."

Steve reached out and touched the wooden face, suddenly seeing it in a different light, seeing warm colour and dark eyes, long hair falling over the face.

"She wasn't even an X-Man. She was just a girl who thought she could protect her people. Magneto comes here quite a lot now. He talks to her. I think he liked her. She called him old man. She was always like that. We don't even know what her real name was."

He could see the sorrow in her eyes, as she too reached out and ran her hand down the list of names.

"Everyone who has died for our cause is listed here. Changeling, Thunderbird, Banshee, Phoenix, Caliban."

He bit back a remark and instead stared at the list of names, running a huge length of the tree. And then at the bottom, five names.

_Ariel_

_Telford Porter- Vanisher_

_Kurt Wagner- Nightcrawler_

_Sack_

_Cia_

The last two names made him feel the worst. He knew from Tora that Ariel's name was actually Ariel. But Sack and Cia? They didn't deserve to be forever remembered by codenames, aliases. The girl's face seemed so peaceful, but she was dead, just another name on the list, one more mutant on the road to extinction. Then Tora turned and smiled sadly and Steve whipped round in time to see Magneto, limping slightly, arrive.

"Oh. Tora. I didn't realise."

"It's fine Erik. We were just leaving."

And as she pulled Steve back along the candlelit path, he could have sworn he saw Magneto pull out a flower made of metal. But Magneto wouldn't do something like that. Would he?

* * *

><p>"Please tell me that was what I thought it was. Was he actually cut up about her death?"<p>

"He felt that he had been the one to kill her. Oh course, he was mistaken. The shrapnel wasn't manipulated in any way by him. She simply wasn't fast enough to dodge a Nimrod she had broken."

"How old was she?"

"Twenty. She was twenty."

* * *

><p>It was foolish to be here. But her face was staring down at him, so peaceful and calm, lost and alone.<p>

"It's me. It's the old man."

He wanted her lips to twitch up in a small smile. She reminded him of Anya in a way. Anya had teased him, like Cia had. Anya had called him _Stary_ in jest. Old man.

He pulled out the metal flower he had made.

"Here child. So they will remember you forever."

Melded into the iron was her name, her face, on every single petal. _Cia. Cia. Cia. Cia. Anya._

* * *

><p>"He… He had…"<p>

"Magneto subconsciously substituted Cia for Anya in his mind. They both called him the same name. And he failed to save either of them."

* * *

><p>She sighed and handed over the mug.<p>

"No. That's my final answer. I'm not joining any Avengers team."

"You'd get American citizenship."

"I already have French and Canadian citizenship. Anymore and I'd start getting confused."

"I want you on the team."

"And I don't want to be on it."

"Fine. I'm always open to you changing your mind. This is the number to call."

She barely glanced at it before ripping it to shreds.

"I've already said, **Not. Interested.**"

"Sure. Nice uniform by the way. Bit…dark, but quite…potent."

She nodded. He turned to go but she called out.

"If she were still alive, Steve, would you know?"

He turned and gulped.

"She was there. I was dead and she was there, waiting."

"Was there anything…odd about her?"

"She was… I can't even remember what she looked like then…"

Tora nodded curtly.

"What are you trying to tell me?"

"I… I don't think… I think the human part of her is dead and gone. But **something** remains."

"What?"

"I'll…I'll send you the files."

He stared at her but she turned away and walked out.

* * *

><p>"And then he cheated. He really, <strong>really<strong> cheated."

"Actually, he didn't have a part in it. He just told one of his subordinates he'd do anything to get her on the team and the subordinate decided to take matters into his own hands."

* * *

><p>Tora dropped the letter, staring at it in horror.<p>

"What? What's wrong?"

"R-r-read it…"

"Er… Ms Circen. It has recently come to our attention that you have been living and working in the United States of America without a visa. Unless you can produce relevant paperwork or provide proof of American citizenship, then you will be deported, to either of the countries that you claim nationality to. Oh brother…"

Tora snarled.

"Excuse me, I just have to go and ring a number that Steve Rogers gave me, then bawl down it about blackmail and coercion."

"Huh?"

She had already memorised the number. The glance had been enough. It was picked up on the second ring.

"Ah. Tora. You've changed your mind?"

"You manipulative, power-hungry *_skreee_*."

"What?"

"Sending that letter, threatening to get me deported."

"What?"

She sighed as she heard the genuine confusion in his voice.

"Fine. I'll come on the team. I want the proof of citizenship through by tomorrow and I want whoever planned this stunt fired. I won't work with people like that."

"Huh?"

When she had explained, Steve's voice seemed icy-cold.

"Bring me all details on people accessing Marie Circen's file. Now!"

"Thanks Steve. Oh, and I want input in choosing the nanny."

"Luke and Jessica are planning interviews. You can go along as well."

"Sure. Steve… I might not be able to do this full-time. Just so you know."

"I don't expect you to. But X-Man doesn't pay, does it?"

"Logan's got a lot in private accounts."

"Yes. But here's the deal. The money gets put in a savings account. It goes towards your kids."

Tora smiled.

"Steve. You just said the magic words. Consider yourself up one Avenger."

"I knew I could count on you."

She hung up and sighed.

"Too bad no one else can."

* * *

><p>Jean reached out and brushed her fingers across the glassy water.<p>

"I always counted on you Tora."

The face in the water turned, almost as if she had heard. Jean pulled back.

"Are you linking this back? You aren't allowed to do that!"

"No. I'm not linking it back. She can sense us, when she's in her lowest moments."

"Is this the reason she was so paranoid at times?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>There is unlikely to be much, if any, Avengers interaction. It may be referenced, but on the whole, this is an X-Men fic, and X-Men it will remain. Also, YAY! Exams are over! So expect updates... actually, I'm unlikely to speed up as I'm starting new courses with about twice as much content and only half the time to do them in, so I'll most likely be rushed off my feet.  
><em>

_In other news, I'm going to repost _Just a Kiss_ because of a minor problem with the last one. I'll try and update the new version once a week so that once I've finished, I can post the next one in the trilogy of AUs.  
><em>

_I think that's everything...  
><em>


	143. Ununited Fronts

**Memories**

Ununited Fronts

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She stood aside from the others, not caring that she wasn't giving the appearance of a united front, not caring about anything anymore. She had her mission planned out. She would stop Scott from running. As a species, they ran so far, so fast, when they should stand firm. And when they had stopped running, then she would go. She would leave, she would run, she would find a way to slip away, into the blackness. Right now, she felt so dead in heart and soul, it would be a mercy to die in reality. People kept asking her how she was holding up, whether she wanted to talk. But she didn't, **couldn't**.

The one person she had entrusted everything to, knowing he would listen and never judge, was gone, had left her feeling like someone had torn a huge part of her away. The Cuckoos had walked up to her shortly after Nathan's funeral and spoken in unison, as they always did.

"We are sorry. We know what it is like to have a part of the whole being torn away."

And then they walked off, leaving Tora holding the cardboard box she was about to throw in the sea when the wind snatched the top open and stole a photograph. She had dropped the box and leapt to catch the photo and stared at it.

It had been taken last Christmas, in the middle of the whole SHRA argument. There hadn't been much to celebrate, but Kurt had been determined to continue their tradition of trying to catch her with mistletoe. Each year he succeeded, proceeding to kiss her chastely on the cheek. It was a game, a way of improving their skills. He would have to catch her unawares; she would try and avoid him. But he had caught her out as she was walking down the corridor, flicking down from the ceiling and catching her scarred cheek. Piotr had been there with a camera and caught the moment, teasing Tora that every year she went the same red colour as Kurt caught her out. The photo showed Kurt's grin and Tora's exasperated fondness as they stared at each other, the mistletoe tangled in her hair. That little flash of normality had made her day.

She hadn't thrown the box in the sea. Instead she placed it by the rubbish, knowing Logan would rescue it, and kept the photo tucked away. Every time she looked at it, she felt as if Bastion's arm had pierced her heart, but she needed him. She needed Kurt's eyes to be on her as she drifted closer and closer to joining him.

And then the shutter of the camera closed and Spider-Man flipped down from the ceiling, landing next to her.

"Hey. Why stand so far apart from us? We're all on the team. So why look like you hate us all?"

She looked up, eyes dark with sorrow.

"I don't think I'll be on this team for long."

"Why? You hate us that much?"

"I don't think I'll be on **any** team for much longer."

"What? Are you **quitting**? You can't quit! You're… You're like poster-girl for strong female mutant heroes!"

"No Spidey. I'm saying I won't be around to be on any teams."

"What? Please say you aren't going to do a Mar-vell on us!"

"No Spidey. I… I have lost something. I am not the person I once was. Hence the new uniform."

"Yeah, I did think it looked cool. By not being here, are you being all philosophical and deep, saying that because you're not the person you used to be, then you won't be on the team?"

She considered for a moment before nodding. It was easier to conceal the truth, the truth not even Logan or Emma knew. She could only entrust this to Kurt, and he was gone.

Dark Dragon was restless.

* * *

><p>"Of course she was restless. Tora gave her dark side its freedom, thereby making Dark Dragon obsolete."<p>

"How **exactly** did she make the beast free?"

"She gave it the freedom it wanted, splitting it from her permanently, but placed it in a creature that could not harm anyone."

"What?"

"She put it in a marmot."

"A…marmot?"

"Like we all knew, her sense of humour could be…slightly twisted at times."

* * *

><p>Her eyes were sad as she glanced in.<p>

"I'm taking Curt to the mainland. We need to try and enrol him in a new school, since the last one threw him out."

"Yeah, you never told me what happened at that meeting?"

"Curt had an argument with his teacher about who and what deserved human rights that resulted in the symbiote going slightly mad."

"Your son is trouble, you know that?"

"Er, Logan, if Curt is anyone's son, he's yours. I have never met a pair so likely to… Never mind."

He knew what caused that. She used to say just the same thing about him and the elf. She turned and prepared to walk out, but glanced back.

"Good work in Tokyo by the way."

"Thanks."

She walked along the corridors but suddenly someone caught her arm and she turned around to see a blue girl.

"Are… Are you Dragon?"

"Yes. And you are Laurie."

"I… I can't really believe you try and learn my name."

"I need to go into the city right now. My son has managed to be thrown out of his third school in as many months. I will see you later then Miss Tromette."

"Sure."

Tora walked quickly, deliberately not looking down to the sea, to the rocks where he had lain, so broken and bruised. She saw Nemesis standing watching the Mexican running on the water then falling in. She sighed, knowing the boy seemed determined to meet her but she got headaches every time he came near her. She knew he wasn't a speedster, but didn't want to stop Nemesis from having his fun. Curt was standing shamefaced by the boat.

"Right. Let's try and make a better impression **this** time. No threatening to eat teachers, students or telling the headmaster you're an alien. It really doesn't make them like you."

"Yeees Maman."

"Curt!"

"Sorry."

"Right, ground-rules. I'll do most of the talking. Poison, try not to change appearance half-way through an interview. If this doesn't work out, we're going to have to start schooling you from here with the old teachers."

"NO WAY! Doc Nemesis is **scary**!"

"If that's what it takes to get your education, then that is what we will do."

"Evil woman."

"I heard that!"

The boat across was only half-filled. As they stepped off, Anole staggered on. Tora stared at him and then pulled Curt away.

"He's probably only got the flu. Don't worry."

Curt was always difficult in cities. Poison wanted to investigate every little thing and Curt was just as bad, wanting to stop at every street vendor. Tora ended up compromising. They went to the school, Curt behaved and they would go to his favourite restaurant as a treat afterwards. Bribery was one of the few ways to make both him and the symbiote behave.

* * *

><p>"Ah, so that's how she avoided the quarantine."<p>

"Yes. Pure luck."

* * *

><p>"Mrs Logan, Curt's reports are…varied to say the least. His reports from Xavier's are exemplary. All except for his Languages which say, if I may quote, 'Curt needs to treat the teacher with more respect'."<p>

"Yes. He thought that he could get away with anything. He soon learned otherwise."

"But his reports after that… 'Needs to concentrate…', 'Aggression…', 'Threatening a teacher…'? These are not the acts of a student of this school."

"Curt has… problems. His mental state has always been…fragile. He feels insulted when people make derogatory comments about mutants or symbiotes."

"Why symbiotes?"

"He feels a…kinship with them."

"And the nature of Curtis' mutation?"

Tora blinked.

"I assume he **is **a mutant, seeing as he came from Xavier's."

"Curt is strong. He can change the appearance of his clothes. They're made of a natural fibre that is a part of him. He… He will talk to the others. He has three selves in his head. Curtis, Brian and Poison. He will often speak out loud to communicate with the others. It opens him up to…torment from others."

"How bad is his…er…?"

"He doesn't understand certain things. His social graces are…lacking, to say the least. But he has a heart of gold. Show him he is welcome and he will never let you down. CURT!"

"Am I in trouble?"

The headmaster turned round slowly and stared at the boy hanging upside-down outside the window."

"Is he…like **Spider-Man**?"

"Sort of."

"Well…er…errm… I'll be willing to give Curtis a trial period. Given his previous infringements, he can't be fully offered a place until he has proved himself. Do you understand?"

Curt nodded excitedly.

"Can we go to get ice-cream now?"

Tora pressed her fingers to her eyes and sighed softly.

* * *

><p>"Another day, another grey hair."<p>

"Yes. I'm amazed it took so long for her entire hair to go white."

"The black was stubborn. Very stubborn."


	144. Removal

**Memories**

Removal

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She stared at Warren in horror.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Utopia has been quarantined, because of this virus. You can't go back. We need you on the X-Men we have here. There are so few of us, having you and 'Ro on the team will make everyone feel a lot calmer."

"Why? No one in their right minds would want me fronting a team in a catastrophe."

"Actually Tora, they do. Do you have your old uniform? Right now we need to appear familia-"

"I am not wearing my old uniform. I wear the new one or I don't fight. I am not the old Tora."

"We know that, but having you and Storm will calm down the few people who are still here no end. You're **Dragon**. You're the person who took on Dark Phoenix one-on-one. And **won**. Tell them that you are going back to Utopia, they panic."

"MY CHILDREN ARE THERE, WARREN!"

"Yes, but because you and Logan have been so careful, no one knows that you two are even **together**, let alone have kids. We can't suddenly announce you've gone back to look after them. They have their flu shots, because according to Hank, you threatened him with a four-inch needle until he vaccinated them, despite protestations that they have healing factors."

"That's not the point! The point is, my kids are in a quarantine zone and they only have their dad. I should be there as well."

He grabbed her wrist.

"Well, I want Curt on the team then."

"No. Curt is going to school on Monday. He is not on the X-Man team. He is staying at a friend's house until we can get back to Utopia."

"Whose house?"

"Well, actually it's ours, but we've never used it."

"This is one of Etana's safe-houses, isn't it?"

"Yes."

Warren sighed.

"Please don't go back, Tora. We **need** you."

She rolled her eyes.

"Fine. But if one of my kids gets sick, I'm getting back to Utopia so fast you will **swear** I **flew**."

"Deal."

* * *

><p>"You know, she never <strong>did <strong>get the hang of flight, despite knowing how to do it instinctively when Dark Dragon."

"Didn't you know? She was absolutely terrified of flying. Hated anything you couldn't explain in basic scientific terms. She only tolerated the Blackbird because physics dictated it could stay up."

* * *

><p>"Logan's been hit and hit bad, Tora. We can't risk you coming back. If he can catch it, so can you and we <strong>need <strong>you."

"What about the kids?"

"Both are fine. They're locked up in a room with those who haven't caught it yet."

Tora gulped then heard Warren talking cheerfully.

"Well, I called in two of the big guns. No offense…"

Tora walked in, in time to see 'Ro wheel through the sky. She raised her hand and mouthed 'Welcome Windrider', and was greeted with one of Storm's joyful smiles. She turned away from the window, taking in her 'team'. Northstar. No problems there. She like Jean-Paul, knew he'd enjoy the chance to shine. Dazzler… So-so. Tora knew she was a good fighter and a good woman but they didn't get along, never had. Storm and Angel, again, no problems. They were three of the longest-serving X-Men, had lived together, fought together, almost died together. Pixie and Poison? She wasn't happy. Those two were kids. They shouldn't be doing the job of the X-Men. Curt was only here to prevent him from setting fire to the kitchen but he'd end up worming his way onto the front line, because that's what he did.

Warren walked up and touched her shoulder.

"We'll want you to appear as a part of the group. Not going off on your own all the time. Once you were a team player. Now you're worse than Logan and Namor combined."

She turned to face him, and he noticed how she seemed taller.

"I am dying, Warren. I am dying. And I don't want you to die with me."

"You're not dying, Tora. You **can't**."

She didn't answer him.

* * *

><p>"And her heart went out of it all."<p>

* * *

><p>"How are we to tell her?"<p>

"We don't."

"We have to. We can't tell Logan. That would make him worse."

"It's worse that it's her. He dotes on her."

"We have to do something."

"We **can't**."

They looked at the tiny girl on the bed, the oxygen mask ridiculously oversized, her messy red hair splayed across the pillow.

"She's just a kid. We can't let her die."

Scott reached out and swept Eva's hair away from her eyes.

"We **need** a vaccine. We need to keep this girl alive. Else Tora will kill every single one of us."

* * *

><p>"Too bad they didn't tell her. It just drove her further into the madness."<p>

* * *

><p>"Put me on, Scott."<p>

"What?"

"Put me on."

She stared at Logan, his face pale, shiny with sweat, veins bulging, pain obvious on his face.

"Hey, Logan."

"Need…Get to Chinatown… Need their Black Dragon…"

She smiled softly.

"I might silver, not black, but I'm a Dragon alright. Don't worry."

He smiled weakly then slid back onto the bed.

"Stay safe."

"I will, Logan. Relax, I have **everything** under control. I'll fix up whatever the problem is in Chinatown and then I'll find a way of sending you one of your stashes."

"Cigars?"

"No. Just…no. I was actually talking about the sake."

"Oh. You know…'bout that?"

"Logan, have you ever managed to hide something from me?"

"No."

"Well then."

She nodded and turned away, letting Warren return to talking to Scott. She stared at the photographers, ignoring pleas to look a certain way. She pressed her mind to Dragon.

_How long? I need him back._

_It won't be easy. It will cost you dear._

_I have already lost almost everything that matters to me. I **need** him._

_But it will cost you **everything**._

_And that is a price I am willing to pay._

_You care deeply, too deeply._

_My life for the life of the best man who ever walked the Earth? I would die a thousand times over to save him._

_He is already saved. He was never damned._

_You know what I mean!_

_You mean you cannot let him go._

_When I die, I shall die with the X-Men. We will all go together._

* * *

><p>"Well that didn't happen."<p>

"I think she meant when they all died **properly**."

"Oh."

* * *

><p>"I feel left out."<p>

"Why?"

"All of you can basically fly. Except Daz."

"I can't."

"You are going to school, Curt."

"Ma-_maan_!"

"School. Now."

"But…"

"**Now**."

"Yes, Maman."

"Go."

He grumbled but shot out of the window.

"And I'm ringing the principal to make sure you actually arrive! Remember, this is your last chance!"

He muttered something that was swept away by the wind. Tora sighed and closed the window.

"We need to get to Chinatown."

"Of course."

She kept staring out the window at Curt.

"He'll be fine, Tora. You know he will be."

"It's not him I'm worried about. It's the people he'll be in school with."

She turned around and raised a hand which started glowing silver.

"Let's get this mess sorted out."

* * *

><p>She looked different, her face drawn, thin. Scars standing out against almost pure white skin. Eyes a dull gold, not a spark of joy or teasing happiness in them. It was like she was going through the motions, rather than actually enjoying life. Phoenix stared at the face in the water and shook her head.<p>

"She should be teasing, making jokes. Planning her post-fight celebration prank with Kurt. Not getting ready silently."


	145. Broken

**Memories**

Broken

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

_She turned to Graydon Creed._

"_Tell them then. Tell them about your parents, your half-brother, your foster-sister. Go on, tell them. Oh, too scared? Well I'm not."_

_She straightened up in her chair, the image of defiance._

"_Graydon Creed is the son of Sabretooth and Mystique, two of the world's most twisted mutant terrorists. His half-brother and foster-sister are both serving members of the X-Men. And you want this man to lead the anti-mutant revolution?"_

"_Shut up!"_

"_I mean, he's just sore that his mother abandoned him because he wasn't a mutant but she did just the same to Nightcrawler because he looked different. And I don't see my friend trying to commit genocide. I mean, I can understand your inferiority complex but Nightcrawler isn't jealous because Mystique cared more for his foster-sister than she did him."_

"_I SAID SHUT UP!"_

"_Make me."_

_The gun was pressed to her chest._

"_I will shoot you."_

"_Yawn. A real soldier would have done that already without any threats or macho posturing. Is your masculinity really that frail?"_

_And she jerked backwards as the gun fired, head lolling to one side as the streak of blood ran down her orange uniform._

xXx

_She stood, gazing out of the window over a world at peace with itself. No war, no famine, no poverty. All the hate and rage swept away. And its ruler in turmoil, lost in her own memories._

"_My Lady. King Namor is here."_

"_Show him in."_

_She didn't turn, simply waved a hand and felt the advisors leave. She knew what they thought, knew they hoped that soon the rulers of land and sea would make a union. But Tora couldn't betray Him. Not again._

"_Dragon."_

"_Namor."_

_She turned, eyes dark._

"_Why have you come? The treaty has been signed. I will not encroach on the seas, not even to fish. We will trade our grain and meat for the fish your people catch. Share culture and keep the peace. Why have you come so soon?"_

"_Traditionally, by Atlantian law, a treaty like that should be sealed with something more…personal."_

_She snarled, eyes flashing silver._

"_If you ask me Namor, you will pay!"_

"_As a ruler Dragon, it is your duty to produce an heir."_

"_I do not plan on dying any time soon Sub-Mariner. I assure you I am in perfect health."_

"_Tora, as ruler of the world, you cannot spend your life in mourning for a man you killed. I too have lost friends. But look. Your dream is realised. Unity and peace for all."_

_She sighed._

"_It is empty."_

"_Tora."_

_She swept his hand away._

"_Do not touch me!"_

_His hand slid back._

"_Logan is dead Tora. You killed him yourself, because he tried to prevent this. He would not want you to spend your life in grief over his stubbornness."_

_She snarled._

"_Leave me Namor."_

"_No. You are Queen of the Land and I am King of the Seas…"_

"_I am no queen Namor."_

"_You rule alone. As do I."_

"_No."_

"_Dragon…"_

"_Leave me Namor. Return when I have come to terms with what I am."_

"_You are a benevolent dictator. You ruled for the sake of others."_

"_I said, go."_

"_They talk of what you did. They say that Dragon was found crouching over the body of her husband, trying to place his heart back into his chest…"_

_She wheeled around, hair a nimbus around her._

"_I said LEAVE!"_

_Namor sighed._

"_I will return next week. I want an answer."_

_Tora waited until he had left then walked to a hidden doorway. Her private chambers were beyond. Angry, she pulled back the most secret door, leading to the room no one knew of. The child looked up from his toys, his pale blue eyes twinkling when he saw her._

"_Hello Tora."_

"_Hello…Logan."_

_Her greatest secret. A clone of the first man she killed, her husband reborn. Not long for her to wait. Soon he would be grown. Soon… Very soon…_

_And in her insanity, Tora plotted._

xXx

_She stood alone. She was always alone. At the pinnacle of humanity, none were more powerful. This was **her** world. She stared down at the city spread out beneath her and then she pulled the mask down over her face and leapt off the building, allowing herself to fall before flying. She laughed, as the little people down below shouted in joy at seeing her. Joy or fear. She was feared by them as much as they loved her. She was their protector but so removed from them, a mask, a costume, never a real woman._

_She was the only one who had escapedReed's depowering ray. Logan had died from that. Reed had never stopped to consider what would happen to mutants like Logan, who **needed** their power to remain alive. The world-wide depowerment hadn't affected Dragon, couldn't affect her and now she was alone. The only hero. The only villain. Xixy, Hepzibah, Norrin and the others had been sent away. But they couldn't get rid of her. Reed had tried. Reed had died._

_It had been an accident. They had been fighting, she had been screaming at him because Logan had been **killed** by that ray and didn't he **realise** what he had done! And then she had punched him, like she had punched him before. Reed always flexed and stretched, dissipating the force of the blow. But Reed couldn't stretch anymore and she'd forgotten that in her anger. The sickening crack would stay with her forever, as would Sue's screams, Johnny's accusations, Ben's attempt to strike out at her, her own heavy breathing as she watched Reed slip down the wall, his chest shattered by an adamantium-reinforced fist._

_She had run. Ran and ran, never stopping, never pausing. And then, in one of her hiding places; oh, how she felt for Bruce now she had lived his life, forever on the run; she had been meditating, trying to sort out her own feelings of guilt and Dragon had started speaking to her._

_It had hurt to begin with. It had hurt as her genetic code rewrote itself, reforming, turning her into something more, something **Dragon**. Red hair became silver; gold eyes changed to gleaming moons; claws removed as the adamantium's molecular structure change, atoms fused together, broke apart, becoming something new. Star-steel. Forged in the immense heat at the start of the universe by Dragon. She was taller, paler, stronger. Unrecognisable. Tora was gone and only Dragon was left. And she had arrived as the old gods, who were gods no more, tried to attack those who had taken their power from them, using the advanced science and battle methods they had perfected over the years. Dragon had appeared, fought them back, ordered them to obey her. And they had. Even the gods feared the legends of the Dragon. People who thought they knew her asked if she was the X-Man. She denied it. Denied it all. Because she wasn't Tora anymore. Tora had died in a trance on a mountainside, as her body and mind changed beyond recognition. She was Dragon. She was beyond humanity._

_She was Dragon. She was the protector of this world. And she would never let anyone hurt her people._

* * *

><p>"Broken. She only looks into worlds that are broken…"<p> 


	146. Summoning Angels

**Memories**

Summoning Angels

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She sighed at Lobe, rolling her eyes as he raised the Dragon puffer to his lips.

"Really? You honestly think you can have Dragon powers with **that**?"

He smiled and pressed down. The claws shot out but when he gestured, nothing happened.

"See. You're doing it all wrong. It's like **this**."

Waves shot out from her hands, pressing down on him, crushing his chest.

"You. Would. Hurt. Eva? You. Would. Kill. Children? I would kill you without a second thought. I **should. **But I won't. You aren't **worth** it."

And she turned away, walking out while Scott started planning with Angel for the legal case. Logan looked up, still exhausted from the virus.

"Hey."

"Eva. Is Eva…?"

"She's fine. Soon as they purged the virus. I felt it. She'll be fine."

And Tora collapsed into his arms, physically and mentally exhausted from the problems she had been living with for the last few days.

* * *

><p>"They were breaking her. They didn't realise. They were breaking her…"<p>

"No. She was already broken. They were just grinding the shards to dust."

* * *

><p>She stood still, eyes fixed on Doreen, who held up the struggling cat.<p>

"She tried to eat Tippy-Toe!"

"JEANNE!"

The cat shrugged. It was mildly amusing, to see the striped cat try to complete a human movement whilst she was being held by her scruff.

"I'm a **cat**. I try to eat squirrels."

Doreen promptly dropped Jeanne who let out a sharp 'MiaOOOOWWW' She limped over to Tora, her big golden eyes widening.

"She hurt me!"

"Jeanne…"

"What?"

"You're a big cat. Behave."

"But…"

"Jeanne."

The warning tone in her voice made the cat crouch low.

"Sorry I tried to eat Tippy-Toe, Squirrel-Girl."

"It's fine. Just don't do again you little rascal."

The cat shot off, tail fluffed up with embarrassment. Tora scooped up Eva and let Jamie jump onto her feet, arms tightly folded around her legs.

"Dear, I can't walk."

"Sorry Maman."

Jamie moved so he was only clinging onto one leg. Tora walked away, slightly stiffly, head downcast. Doreen stared at her for a second then spoke up.

"Why do you only act like life's worth living when you see them?"

Tora turned, eyebrows furrowed.

"What?"

"Your kids. Most of the time I'd say you verged on suicidal, but when you see them, you light up. It's like they're the only thing that makes life worth living."

Tora stared at the young woman before turning away.

"They are."

* * *

><p>"Ah. The reason she survived as long as she did."<p>

"Her children were what kept her alive. And then she found a reason to live again."

"And promptly died."

"Yes, well, it wasn't perfect."

* * *

><p>"I can't."<p>

"Stephen, please **try**."

"It's not like summoning a spirit! The Malach Hamavet is a thousand times more powerful than the Sorcerer Supreme! Azrael and Malach Hamavet are the two **true** Angels of Death, as in the beings chosen by Mistress Death to represent her on Earth. Azrael is easy to understand! He's simple and straightforward. You cheat death, you die. You take lives, you die. But the Malach Hamavet? She's complex. Her criteria is accepting death, noble sacrifice and the release from pain. There are so few people she comes for. Summoning her is nigh on impossible and the last time a Sorcerer Supreme tried it, she just didn't turn up."

"They can do that?"

"**She** can do that. Legend says she is half-human, which is the reason she understands sacrifice. A human has the talent to evade a summoning."

"Yes, but the last summoning didn't have me."

"Tora, if I go through with this, I don't want your power involved. She will take offence. I have to be polite. You are basically asking me to go to the door of one of the most powerful beings on the planet and drag her outside. She won't be happy."

"Just do it, Stephen. I need to talk to her. We have unfinished business."

"I dread to think what **business** you have with an Angel of Death."

"I want to ask about one of her… Never mind."

"They aren't victims, Tora. Those the Malach Hamavet takes are not victims. They are gifted."

"Try telling that to those left behind."

* * *

><p>"And she proceeded to mess up."<p>

* * *

><p><em>Hello, you've tried to summon the Malach Hamavet. She's either on the job, off-duty or just plain ignoring you. Unless this message is of 'save the world' importance, please refrain from leaving a message as she really can't be bothered to go through lots of petty wishes to try and find a request to save the world. So either hang up or please leave a message after the cosmic crash of thunder.<em>

They stared at the little bubble of light in the centre of the circle.

"Have we just got the **answering-machine**?"

"I think we have."

"Not exactly."

They span around and stared at the woman leaning lazily against the wall. Dr Strange gasped in amazement.

"Is that…? Is that…?"

"Hello… Etana."

The tall woman stepped forward and Tora saw the unearthly sense of **knowing** in her eyes, that made it obvious that for all this being looked like Etana, it wasn't.

"I'm not Etana. I am the soul, the memories. But I am not her. I am the Malach Hamavet. I am the Angel of Death."

Strange was staring at her in amazement.

"Shouldn't you be in the circle?"

She shrugged, an oddly human gesture for the inhuman flicker. It looked like she was made of clear, unbreakable glass, which trapped black and silver flames which flickered and shone.

"Boring. Much more fun to turn up behind them and go boo. BOO!"

Tora was clenching and unclenching her fists, barely controlling her anger.

"You took him. You took him."

"He came willingly. I can't take those who aren't ready to come."

"YOU TOOK HIM!"

The sound of the slap resounded and the angel blinked, her face not moving, no mark from where Tora's hand had impacted.

"He came to me. As will all but you."

"Don't you **dare** say that!"

"You are no longer one of my Chosen. You have reached the point that death has no meaning for you."

"Stop it."

"I could no more take you than the man who tries desperately to cling onto life. No matter how much you plead, I can never come for you."

"Stop it!"

"I wonder what my blade could do to you. The sword that severs souls. But you don't have one anymore, do you?"

"STOP IT!"

The angel stopped and stared at her.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, **so** sorry for what happens next…"

And she faded away as if she had never existed.

* * *

><p>"Well, that went well."<p>

Death shrugged.

"She always has been a rather difficult servant. Never doing as she was told. But she always does what **should** be done."


	147. Break Me

**Memories**

Break Me

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

**Warning: Mentions of miscarriage in this chapter, plus some rather dark thoughts from Tora.**

She stared at the mirror, at the face staring back out at her. The hair coiled and styled, no scars marring the face. Poacher leant towards her, hissing words out at her.

"Are you **really** that weak? You are **nothing**!"

"I… I… I have…worth…"

"You. Are. **Nothing**."

Tora turned away, tried to block out the words and then Poacher's voice changed.

"**You need him. Let me go and I will bring him back**."

She raised her head slowly and stared at the empty silver orbs, the hair swirling around in the mirror.

"**All you have to do is let me out**."

"No… Not after last time… I can't trust you…"

"**I. Am. YOU!**"

"Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!"

"**So alone and afraid. When will you tell them? Dare you tell them you doubt your own sanity, that you fear your own inner darkness? The darkness that is I?**"

"Go away! Leave me alone!"

"**But you are already alone. I am just another part of you.**"

"NO!"

The shards of glass fell into the sink, as blood ran down her hands, as cuts knitted back together. This had to stop. Every mirror whispered to her, every time she looked at her reflection she ended up seeing Dark Dragon's emotionless face staring out. She was being taunted, driven mad by her own subconscious. It was worthy of Norman Osborn in terms of insanity. She clutched the sink and stared at one of the shards, her golden eyes flashing silver then she pulled away, breathing heavily.

She couldn't **cope**. This was so alien, so dangerous, she daren't tell the others. Their only other case like this had been Jean and Dark Phoenix was **simple**. She arrived when Jean was stressed, under extreme pressure. But this… This was different. This was manipulative, carefully prising her fingers away from her hold on reality. She was hanging on the edge of the cliff, her hands the only thing keeping her up. Dark Phoenix stamped on the hands. Dark Dragon was so much more careful. Gently raising the fingers, in such small degrees you didn't even notice until you fell. Tora stared at the shattered back on the mirror, wondering how she was going to explain away the third mirror in only half as many weeks. She had to control herself. She **had** to. They couldn't have the **slightest** hint there was something wrong. She needed to ride this out on her own.

Because she didn't have someone to lean on anymore.

* * *

><p>"Of course, she was so unstable at this point she didn't even realise there were some of the world's foremost psychics just down the hall and all she had to do was ask for help."<p>

"But she never would. You know that."

* * *

><p>"I'm worried about Tora."<p>

Scott turned and nodded at Xavier.

"Aren't we all? She's unstable, dangerous, losing her grip. She can't even go into the kitchens anymore."

"What?"

"I saw her backing out, then retching. I go in and there's a slice of raw meat on the bench. I don't know what set her off, but I think either her senses are going into overload or she's regressing to a more feral personality."

"We can't tell Logan. You know how he'd react."

Scott nodded. He looked exhausted.

"She doesn't trust us anymore, can't even hide her anger when we go against her. She's not Tora anymore."

"Her shields have changed. Previously they were passive, using the hiding method over other barriers. But… They've changed. It's like they're now bright and flashing, designed to draw you in… and then it just drives a psi-knife right through your mind. She's falling apart Scott. We need to get her to open up."

"You know she won't Charles. I only found out about this Project: Eden when Kurt told me. She won't talk to us about private stuff."

"What's happening to us Scott? We aren't a family anymore."

"I don't know. I don't know…"

In the shadows, Tora retreated. She was finding it easier to hide in shadows nowadays. The silver on her old uniform had been so impractical, preventing her from hiding. The dragon now was more grey than silver, and she knew she looked dangerous. She liked that.

She was dangerous.

* * *

><p>Phoenix let out a low whistle, staring at the pool.<p>

"Okay, she's freaking me out now. She's scarier than lots of super-villains. And that's impressive."

* * *

><p>Her hands snapped open and waves shot direct at Scott's chest, pinning him to the wall. Once, she would have only used this much force on the worst enemies, in the most dangerous of circumstances. But this was just a training exercise. Cyclops could barely breathe. And if she used this amount of force on <strong>him<strong>, what would she use in the field?

"Tora… Stop!"

She didn't, instead increasing the pressure.

"Tora!"

"I said you'd pay. I said you would answer for my son. I said you would suffer. So **scream**. Scream, Scott, and know that no one can hear you."

What the… This wasn't Tora. Tora would have done this in public, shown that once their fight was over, there was no more hard feelings. Doing it in private, when there was no one else there to watch, that stank of something rotten. She was doing this for reasons other than revenge. Her eyes flashed silver.

"Go on. Scream."

And he did, striking her with optic blasts that sent her flying to the other end of the room. She flipped, and landed, lying low, legs splayed out, arms providing the centre of gravity. There was something spider-like in her stance, something fundamentally **wrong**.

"Do it Scott. Let it all loose. All that power. Let it loose at me."

"Tora? Why?"

"I… I… I need…"

"What do you need?"

And she launched at him, hands trying to pull off the visor and Scott struggled to keep it on but he felt it being tugged away and then Tora was sent flying by the beam and she was **laughing**.

"More! Give. Me. MORE!"

Scott closed his eyes but he suddenly felt fingers trying to pry them open.

"TORA! STOP THIS!"

And she answered with a deep, dangerous laugh that chilled Scott to the bone. And then she was being pulled off of him and he felt his visor being placed back and he dared to open his eyes again. And Tora was hurrying in after Logan, a look of concern on her face.

"Scott? What's wrong? You were shouting. We all heard you."

He stared at her, not quite certain what to believe. Then he grabbed her shoulders.

"Where. Were. You."

"What? Just now? With Danger. We were planning on a new method for computer security. Box commissioned me to write an entire new language that didn't depend on ASCII or Unicode."

"So… Who was in here with me?"

"There was no one here. You came here alone. Said you had something you wanted to work out."

Scott frowned but shut up. And Tora finally disengaged herself from the Danger Room's computers. This was going to be a very **interesting** way of wreaking revenge.

* * *

><p>"That's just…nasty…"<p>

"Luckily, she wasn't held accountable when the truth was exposed."

* * *

><p>Jamie stared at his parents.<p>

"I wanna go!"

They exchanged glances. Tora bit her lip.

"I mean… Leech and Archie are both going to be there and it would be best for Jamie to be with his intellectual equals."

"You mean Valeria Richards? Tora, admit it. Our son is quite possibly smarter than Reed Richards and I'm still not entirely sure how that works…"

"Jamie needs to be taught to control his gift. He's already learnt almost everything in our libraries. Even Hank can't keep him occupied for long. X-Club has given up on trying to teach him stuff. He's a sponge for knowledge. Reed can give him the challenges he needs. And if we spend more time with the New Avengers than the X-Men, then we'll be in the same city."

"It reeks of boarding school."

Jamie pouted.

"I wanna go!"

"Logan, think of it this way. Where is he going to be safer? On the last mutant stronghold, which is going to be attacked by every anti-mutant bigot out there; or at the Baxter Building, which has some of the most advanced security systems in the world?"

"And which is the home of the dumbest genius in the world."

"Sue can rein Reed in."

"He's still the idiot we're intrusting Jamie to!"

Jamie blinked.

"I wanna go! I wanna go!"

Tora sighed.

"Logan, Jamie **learns**. It's a part of his mutation. He has the potential to be as clever as Prodigy could have been. He's this huge mainframe that absorbs information, He **needs** to learn."

Logan sighed. Then nodded.

"We'll give him a shot at it. But if I think it's too dangerous, he's leaving."

Tora nodded as Jamie started dancing around the room, yelling, "I'm going to the Future Foundation! I'm going to the Future Foundation!" Logan smiled and ruffled his hair.

"Try not to sound too happy, kid. We were hoping you'd graduate from Xavier's with honours."

* * *

><p>"Really, his parents should have known better than to put him in contact with Valeria Richards. It was just <strong>asking<strong> for trouble. The two super-intelligent five year olds."

"Excuse me, it wasn't **Jamie** who accidentally released the evil Reeds. That was Val. Jamie just did damage control."

"I'm sorry, but those two should **never** have been allowed to breed!"

"What? Just because they basically started a new caste of super-genius mutants…"

* * *

><p>She staggered into the bathroom and clutched her stomach. <strong>This<strong> had been the reason she hadn't dared to tell anyone. No more mutants. Her own body was suffering beatings on a regular basis, preventing the healing factor from rerouting. And then there was the fact she had been put under a great deal of emotional stress.

This one would never have survived, even without Wanda's curse. She barely managed to lock the door before the blood finally trickled down one leg. She doubled over as the cramps hit her again, letting out a little gasp of pain. She could hear people hurrying around outside, knew that her mad dash through the hall would have attracted attention, especially when she frozen, feeling the little fist clasping around her insides. But she wasn't going to make them carry this burden. They would fuss over her, pity her. But really, this was for the best. She had already seen to pain that Curt carried. She saw the way that Jamie and Eva were treated as monsters because of their X-Gene. It would be better that this child was never born, never got beyond a few dozen cells. It was for the best…

She ignored the shouts outside as she started to clean herself up, disposing of any evidence. Logan wouldn't see it like her. He would be upset, angry that she had kept this to herself. The others would panic, think she needed support. Support! Her, needing support? She was above them all, something more, something **powerful**. She started, then dived into a cubicle as the door was forced open.

"Tora, come out now!"

"I'm **fine**!"

"I'll believe it when I see it!"

"One minute."

She hurriedly wiped away the last of the blood, the last of the evidence, then stuck her head out.

"Does anyone have a pad?"

It was a good excuse, as excuses went. The men instinctively recoiled and Laurie dived into her bag, suggesting she'd been about to go to the mainland.

"Here."

Tora took the brightly-coloured packaging and nodded.

"Thanks."

She closed the cubicle door again and waited for them to go before collapsing to the floor.

It was for the best, after all…

What was?

* * *

><p>"I… I don't…"<p>

"Her healing factor wiped all traces. She never even remembered that incident. It was a way of protecting her."

"Her own mind playing tricks on her, preventing her from grieving."


	148. Hatred

**Memories**

Hatred

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She stared at her hands. There was something she **had** to remember. Something important… Something… Was it to do with Jamie? Eva? Curt? She shook her head. She wouldn't forget something about them. Shrugging, she filed away the odd feelings for later. She'd analyse them when she was less…strained.

Raising her head, she considered what she was going to do. She was getting stronger, she knew that much. Her power was bubbling up inside her and she needed to let it out else it would well up and burst the dam, releasing Dark Dragon. Hence the torturing of Scott, mixing technology with power to cause him to fear her. She hadn't yet reached the edge. She wasn't that far gone that she'd force him into oblivion. After all, the mutant race needed their leader.

She stared at her hands, not certain if they were flesh or water, human or hooked claws. She was slipping, unable to hold on much longer. She feared, for those she loved and for herself. She was afraid, not of dying, but of enduring. She **wanted** Death to come for her. She wanted Etana, or the thing that Etana had become, to take her away. Because she could sense what would happen. She knew she would continue to live, not be immortal but simply **enduring**, day after day, year after year, decade after decade, millennia after millennia And she recoiled in horror at the idea of that fate. She wasn't **like** Etana, who could detach herself so easily, who knew what it was like to live and lose. She needed her family, the small cocoon around her that protected her from herself.

"Tora?"

She shook her head to dispel the darkening thoughts.

"I'm fine."

Because maybe if she kept telling herself that, it would be true.

* * *

><p>"As if sheer human willpower could prevent that from happening."<p>

"Don't scoff Death. She did it before, for a number of years, and she did it again later."

* * *

><p>Logan stared down at Tora, who was standing with her eyes closed on the terrace, her face turned up into the wind. He couldn't touch her. Physically, yes, she was still there. But mentally, <strong>spiritually<strong>? It was like she was trying to follow Kurt to whatever afterlife the elf had gone off to. Logan had given up trying to reach past the barriers she seemed to be throwing up. She seemed to be retreating into an adamantium-hard shell, refusing to allow her emotions out, or anyone else in.

She was raising her hands up and then she fell to her knees and Logan suddenly realised that this was something **private** and she didn't want anyone to see but he couldn't look away, couldn't tear his gaze from the small figure swamped by the sea.

"WHYYY!"

Her head fell down and she stared tracing shapes on the floor.

"Why…?"

And then he saw her absent-mindedly extend a claw and start scratching lines into the metal, lines that merged into a face, an angular face that should be bright with excitement or softened with understanding.

Tora started and stared at the etching of Kurt, then as Logan watched, she doubled over and lay on top on the image, her body shaking with tears. And he turned and walked away, knowing what Tora would say if she knew he had seen, no matter that all he wanted to do was go out and gently pick her up and rock her until she was able to accept what was happening. But right now, he didn't know what she'd do.

She was slipping away and he was afraid that one day he'd wake up and Tora would be gone.

* * *

><p>"Well, it did happen, but only in the physical way."<p>

"She did insist that it was for the best."

* * *

><p>"Have you heard the latest on the Tora crisis?"<p>

"No. What?"

"She's taken night shifts. Won't let Logan come on. It's basically the same as moving out. According to Bobby, she's never let him be alone with her for the last week. It's like they're not a couple anymore."

"You don't think…"

"Logan won't separate. He loves her too much. But her? I wouldn't put it past her to do a runner in the state she is. The only question would be if she would take the kids with her."

"You honestly think Tora would leave him?"

"Not leave him as such. More leave everything she ever had, then go off and try and die. Have you seen her **eyes**? She honestly doesn't care anymore. She could die tomorrow and she wouldn't even fight it."

"I hate seeing her like this."

"Don't we all. She isn't **Tora** anymore. It's like she's this ghost."

"Oh, on that subject! Have you heard the vamp community has started getting stirred up?"

"**Really**? That's bad. Did you know that Storm once got turned into a vampire?"

"No **way**!"

And the gossip changed direction, as Tora fell out of the forefront of their minds. After all, it was just **gossip**. Everyone knew gossip couldn't be trusted.

* * *

><p>"Typical. The X-Men's gossip mill was just as bad as when I was alive, and that's <strong>without<strong> Jubilee to stir things up."

"Jubes came back soon enough."

"Yes, but not as a mutant."

"I'm sorry, are you being rude about her?"

"She was a **vampire**!"

"And Curtis was a brain-eating alien!"

* * *

><p>Logan stood quite still, staring out from Avengers Tower. He could see the mansion, the place Tora most probably was with the other New Avengers and Eva. Turning his head, he could see the Baxter Building, where Jamie was busy learning how to be the next Reed Richards or something.<p>

"Hey, Logan!"

"Push off Barton."

"What's wrong?"

"I said, **push off**."

"Is this about your wife? Because seriously, marriage trouble appears to be an Avengers thing. Cos we had Hank and Jan, then me and Bobbi, and now apparently you as well. You know, I'm amazed nothing happened along those lines while Osborn was in control…"

"Something did happen."

Both men turned around with lightning speed to see Tora standing, holding a box.

"Sorry if I'm intruding. Luke sent me to pick up some stuff from Tony. I'll just…go…"

"Wait. What are you saying?"

"No one remembers, not anymore. Maybe it's better that way. For all concerned."

"Tora?"

"I need to take this to Luke."

She hurried out and Hawkeye ran after her.

"What do you **mean**, no one remembers?"

She rounded on him.

"Forget I said **anything**! The whole deal would fall through if I told the truth!"

"What deal?"

"It involves Mesphito and an Avenger who can't remember what happened, so don't go around asking."

And she walked into the lift, elbowed the button and closed her eyes. Hawkeye turned back to Logan.

"So what's wrong?"

"She would have stayed."

"What?"

"A month ago, she'd have hung around to talk. Now she just wants to get out and I bet if we ask Luke later tonight she'll have been late and said she stuck around here for a while."

"Where's she going?"

"Etana's old place. She goes there and does who knows what. Probably just sits still and cries. She's not allowing anything out to us. Seems to think it makes her weak."

Hawkeye sighed.

"Do you want to come out for a drink? Steve swears by a small bar in Brooklyn that's been around for years and hasn't changed much. Course, he never goes there anymore, but we can still just go and sit there for a while."

"Nah. I need to go and get Evie from Luke and I promised I'd take Jamie to Central. He's basically moved out to the Baxter Building. Tora was right. It's safer there than Utopia. What a joke. Utopia? More like us all running to our own little concentration camp and waiting for them to put up the fences and instate guards…"

Hawkeye sighed.

"It sounds like you **really** need to get some time just you and her."

"Says the guy who has been studiously avoiding Mockingbird for the last week and a half."

"That's different. We're divorced. You're still married, for all she acts like you aren't. Look, I can **see** it. It starts like that. Being polite, too polite; not hanging around for a talk; stuff like that."

"I know the signs Barton. Thing is, I don't know how to help get things back on track."

* * *

><p>The water showed Tora walking through streets, people staring at her because she wasn't wearing the inducer to hide the face scars, hadn't since Hope returned and then there was the fact her eyes were threatening, daring anyone to dare come up to her. Phoenix sighed.<p>

"How long did this state of affairs last?"

"Over six months."

"Wow… And they didn't fall apart?"

"She got good at hiding. Too good in fact."

* * *

><p>She stood in the centre of the room, closed her eyes, swirled her hands around as the water coiled around her fists and then she slammed her hands forwards, sending the waves crashing down to the wall at one end and spreading out. She span around and hit the other wall then turned to the photo of Etana, Kurt and Tora that Logan had taken. And she slammed more water into it, hating all the people smiling up at her for their happiness, their joy of being together, the way they thought they were untouchable. And she knew who she hated most; the woman who was on the verge of laughing, her eyes crinkling up as she bit her lip to try and prevent herself from getting the giggles, red hair splayed over the shoulder of the man she was leaning on.<p>

She snatched up the photo and started down at it, Etana resting a hand on Kurt's shoulder, other hand on her hip, her odd 'I know more than you' smile making her face look curiously beautiful. Kurt, in the centre, fangs flashing as he grinned. And Tora, arm flung over Kurt's shoulder, head resting on him and smiling softly. Happy times. Just before getting married, when the world was perfect, they were all going to live forever and one day, one day very soon, mutants would be accepted. She hated the younger her, hated her for her naivety, her hope, her optimism.

She hated her because she had Kurt and Etana and didn't realise how lucky she was.

* * *

><p>"Poor child. She never stood a chance with all that."<p>

"Tell me about it. She never forgave Etana for dying, not after she saw what happened when she didn't die."

"Ohhh! What happened?"

"Peter came back, Kurt and Nate didn't die, Tora never became Dark Dragon, mutants were accepted after another few years, Scott and Logan parted ways peacefully, and Logan took all of the children under twelve and those older who wanted to come, as part of the agreement to reinstate Xavier's dream. The X-Men remained as one team, similar to the Avengers East and West Coast teams and the Utopian nation was founded twenty years earlier. Oh, and Steve Rogers was a heck of a lot happier."

"And Etana never took that into consideration?"

"She's **Etana**. What do you think? Anyway, the years bought for her were almost up. She knew that sometime in the twenty-first century, she'd cease to be Etana and would become the Malach Hamavet."

Phoenix glared at Death who shrugged.

"Do you **know** how difficult it was to balance her being alive with giving her power? I was kind to give her three thousand years. Of course, a certain **someone** definitely help improve my choice."

* * *

><p><strong><em>A.N.<em>**_ A drawing of Tora's new uniform is now up on deviantArt. Also, I won't have internet access for three days. Sorry._


	149. Live With It

**Memories**

Live With It

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

He stepped into the darkened room and inhaled. Yep, she was still here. Walking softly across the polished wooden floor, he inhaled again. She wasn't in here, although she had been. The whole place was pretty open plan and he managed to get to the window, to turn the dial to change the opacity. Light flooded in and he stared. All Etana's old photos, the ones she loved so much and placed carefully around the room were shattered, the glass in the frames broken, some of the newer ones torn into little pieces. He didn't know what to do. How to react. Then he heard the stifled noises and hurried out of the open plan area, into the corridors and to the room Etana had kept for guests. Pushing the door open, he froze.

The whole place was in darkness, stank of blood and tears and he didn't know what to do.

"Tora?"

"Go away."

He switched the light on and froze. She was sprawled out, her hair tangled, one hand idly clutching a kitchen knife and red staining the white sheets. He could see the dried blood from where she had stabbed the knife into her stomach, torn it down her arms, plunged deep into her leg.

"Tora…"

"Why won't I die? I keep trying and I can't. I can't… All I can do is hurt…"

He leant over and slipped the knife from her hand, shocked by how unresisting she was.

"Why?"

"I want to stop hurting. Why won't the pain stop? Why won't it **stop**!"

"It won't stop. You can't get over a death Tora. They say you can, but you don't. Not really. You just learn to live with it and eventually you can cope. But the pain won't go away."

"I just want to **die**…"

"Dying ain't the way out. You die and you're telling the world 'yeah, they beat me. They beat me and I don't want to go on anymore'. And that ain't the Tora I know."

She looked up at him.

"I just want the pain to go away…"

He scooped her up.

"Come on. We need to get you cleaned up."

* * *

><p>"Oh… Poor her…"<p>

"That was the understatement of the Intermittent Period, Phoenix."

"What else was I supposed to say?"

* * *

><p>He stared at her, sleeping peacefully for the first time in over a month. He had tried to clean the blood, had thrown away the blood-soaked sheets and decided against carrying her back to the Avengers Mansion. Instead he'd simply lowered her onto Etana's bed and tried to avoid the feelings of slight betrayal about using Etana's house like this, even if it was his.<p>

Walking into the open plan living area, he started to pick up the bits of glass and wood from the shattered photo frames. He'd have to get in touch with Reed and Luke, tell them he couldn't take the kids because right now, Tora was falling to pieces and he needed to be there for her. Even to him that sounded slightly weak.

"Logan…?"

He dropped the glass, swearing as one piece cut him right across his palm and ran into the bedroom.

"Tora?"

"What happened?"

She looked ill, too ill, almost like she had looked when he first saw her, thin and pale, coated in blood and half-dead.

"You collapsed. I found you with a knife. Do you know how much that **hurt**?"

She blinked at him.

"I…I don't remember…"

He sat down and stared at her.

"Why can't you just **talk** to me?"

"I will talk when you do."

"**Fine**! Kurt was my best friend! He never let me feel like I was an animal! He never judged me because of what I did! He may have questioned my methods, but he never said that I was the terrible things I did! He helped me get out of some of my darkest feelings, helped me keep **sane** when I was falling to shreds! He was the first of the X-Men I told my name to and I cared about him! He was the brother I don't remember having, the only friend I haven't messed up! He meant something to me, maybe more than any other friend I ever had! And then he dies and my world starts to crumble, because he's gone and the most important thing in my life starts to break!"

"What? What's breaking?"

"You are. You're breaking and I can't fix you. I can't try and hold you up because you won't **let** me!"

She stared at him then touched his face.

"Logan…"

She brushed her lips against his but he pulled away.

"Don't **do** that!"

"What?"

"I know you. You don't think I'm that stupid that I can't tell when you mean something like that! You're trying to distract me and I'm not going to let you!""

She stared at him then tilted her head away.

"I can't. I don't even know what I feel. It's all confused and messed up and I feel so **lost**. It's like this light has gone out and I didn't even realise it was there. It's like Etana all over again, but this time it's **worse**."

He wrapped his arms around her.

"It's always going to hurt. But maybe…someday…you'll be able to live with it."

She nodded and rested her head on his chest. They sat in silence so some time, then she mumbled something into his shirt.

"What?"

"But what if I can't? Live with it? What then?"

* * *

><p>"She really was falling apart."<p>

"Once upon a time, she'd have poured out her soul to Logan. Now it looks like she isn't prepared to even tell him how she feels."

"That's the problem. She **did**."

* * *

><p>She clapped her hands together and smiled as the water blasted out from around her, washing away the small-time crooks who had happened to break into the wrong shop. Once she'd have just extended her claws and let them run. But she wasn't feeling merciful today and so pinned them to the wall. She stalked towards them, mimicking Emma's strut when she was trying to intimidate people, legs one in front of the other as she walked towards them. Tora stared at them, pushing them down with the water so they had to stare up at her.<p>

"Now… Why would a group of children like you, who appear to have more than enough money, want to rob a shop? It can't be for food. You aren't starving, any of you. Not enough to be driven to theft at any rate. Not for clothes, because I can see about three designer labels. Not drugs either, because you don't smell like junkies. So obviously… This is some sort of spoiled rich kid initiation. I mean **really**? How hopeless can people get? Night, night."

They dropped to the floor, pressure having been placed to knock them unconscious. Tora turned, pulled out a handful of bills, placed them down and walked out.

* * *

><p>"Well that's <strong>nice<strong>."

"Her mind was weakening by the day. At least what happened next cheered her up a bit."

"What, you mean the whole vampire attack? I thought she **hated** vampires with a passion that knew no bounds."

* * *

><p>Her hands flew over the keys as she tried to find something that would indicate what today's suicide bombing had been about. Then she could go and hit whoever it was who had endangered Jubilee.<p>

"Maman?"

She swirled around in the seat.

"Yes Curt?"

"They won't let me see Jubilee."

"She's in quarantine. If we can work out what attacked her, we can cure her."

"Why aren't you there?"

"I'm a healer, not a genius scientist. I just do as I'm told. They'll call me in, tell me what's wrong in dumb-talk and I'll fix it. Right now, it's better I see what I can find. Any attacks, odd movements, shipments going miss- Ah ha… Oh dear…"

"Maman?"

"Curt, if I were to tell you this, what would you think? In the San Francisco area, a warehouse where blood donated by members of the public for medical purposes was broken into. None of the expensive medical equipment was taken. All that vanished was the blood."

Curt scratched his head.

"I'd say Draculas. Did you know Wade saved some good draculas from bad draculas? At a hospital?"

"How do you even still stay in touch with that dreadful man?"

"Wade's great. He understands my…condition. That's what you call it, isn't it? Everyone at school says I'm fruity-loops and other things Dad said I wasn't to even mention when you're around. Oops."

She stood up.

"I need to go and speak with your principal-"

An alarm beeped on the computer terminal and she turned around very fast, pressing a button.

"Dragon here. I think I've found something."

"Nemesis. Is that **something** vampires by any chance?"

"Sadly, yes. Jubes?"

"Infected, but at a slow rate. We need you over here immediately to slow the spread."

Tora nodded to herself.

"I'll be over as soon as I can. Curt, I'll have to hold off the meeting."

"It's okay anyway. I'm used to it. Can I come with you?"

Tora didn't answer as she was already halfway out the door, so Curt decided that was the same as parental consent and charged after her. He knew his mother was like this recently, living only for the moment and never planning ahead, because she didn't expect to live long enough to see the next week out. Hopefully she'd have forgotten his slip-up, although that was unlikely. Maman didn't forget things easily.

She skidded to a halt outside the quarantined bay and placed her hand to the door, charging in before it was fully opened. Curt hurried in after her before the door could close on him. Tora was already leaning over a screen.

"Where's the damage?"

"There's a foreign agent in her blood, mutating her cells, almost rewriting her genetic code. We need you to cleanse it, get it all out. And what is that **drooling imbecile** doing here?"

"That 'drooling imbecile' is my son and Logan has very short shrift with those who insult him. By the way Curt, what **are** you doing in here?"

"I thought Jubilee would like some company."

"Curt, that's so **sweet**. Go and talk to her while I work out what I'm supposed to be doing."

Curt edged over to where Jubilee was sitting on a sofa, trying to make it look like she wasn't edging out of the sunlight.

"Hi."

"Go away."

"But-"

"Go away. I don't want any holier-than-thou mutants telling… Oh… Sorry Curt."

"Hi. Yeah. You look really pretty when you're all pale."

"Curt, you're **three**. You shouldn't be telling nineteen-year-olds they look pretty."

"I'm a three-year-old with the body of an eighteen-year-old boy. I think you look pretty. Anyway, it didn't stop **Cyke's** baby brother from going out with the Prof's girlfriend's older sister. Which is just **gross** by the way. I mean, when I say that, it sounds like Deathbird was really, **really** old or Lilandria was really, **really** young."

Jubilee smiled slightly.

"Yeah. I suppose. You're good at making me laugh, aren't you?"

Curt grinned.

"How about this? What's moving and orange and fuzzy?"

"Go on?"

"Xixy's hand after he dropped it down the sofa!"

"Did that really happen?"

"Yeah! He was just kneeling on the floor, trying to get a quarter out from behind the cushion and he brought his arm back out and his hand had got **trapped**! It was hilarious!"

Jubilee sniggered slightly. Curt grinned broadly.

"And that's not the best bit! Xixy just stared at his arm stump then said in this tone of total surprise 'I thought I was too young to spawn…' Maman just about **died** laughing."

Jubilee snorted then started shaking with laughter. Curt smiled shyly at her. To his annoyance, Brian wasn't shutting up.

(Look at her. You're making her laugh! Kiss her now! Kiss her now!)

Dad would **kill** me…

_**I think she's pwetty. For a human, that is.**_

(Yeah, like **that's** going to impress her, doo-doo-brains.)

Guys, please stop **fighting**. It's giving me a headache and I can't concentrate on what Jubilee's saying.

"-you know, you're a decent guy Curt, even if you **are** a bit crazy at times."

"Thanks…"

(Kiss her now!)

"Right, Curt, out. I think I know what I have to do. I need total concentration, so vamoosh! Go! Begone! You can keep Jubes company later."

(Spoilsport!)

* * *

><p>"Well, isn't that <strong>sweet<strong>."

"Death, can your sarcastic tone get any more **obvious**?"

Phoenix sighed.

"Can you **really** lecture her on sarcasm?"

"No, not really…"

* * *

><p><strong><em>A.N. <em>**_Three days... Three days of trekking across boggy hills in the pouring rain with soaked through tent, clothes, food and camping stove on my back. Getting lost on the first two-hundred metres on the first day. Then rerouting on the second day because the ford was flooded. And climbing thirty metres up a steep hill only to realise I was supposed to go downhill instead. Then having blisters burst on the last 750m. This is just my way of saying -don't expect an update for a while as I am completely **shattered** and have lots of blisters and midgie bites. (6 & 12 at the last count). So... Yeah. Don't expect updates until I've recovered. (I hate midges) Now excuse me, I'm going off to cry.  
><em>


	150. Identity

**Memories**

Identity

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Tora collapsed backwards, waves swirling back into her eyes and mouth.

"Can't…hold it…any longer…"

Jubilee stared at her worriedly.

"But that's it, right? I'm fixed? Cured? Not going to be a vampire anymore?"

Tora hung her head.

"I'm sorry, Jubilation. But… Dragon doesn't recognise vampirism as a disease. To all intents and purposes, excluding the sunlight thing, it makes you stronger, faster and more powerful. If I'm not careful, I'm liable to **speed up** the process, not halt it."

Jubilee curled up tightly and Tora reached out to try and touch her shoulder, only to have the young woman move with almost lightning fast reflexes to prevent the contact.

"Don't."

"I'm sorry. I can't do anything. Not without making it worse. But… I might be able to fix the sunlight aversion, if given enough time."

"Thanks."

"I don't think you should be thanking me."

"No. I mean…thanks for trying. Thanks for not giving up on me. Thanks for being here even though Logan isn't."

Tora let the sides of her lips twitch up for a second then she returned to worrying about Jubilee's condition. She rose, nodded and walked over to Nemesis.

"What's the situation?"

"Summers has called for a meeting. You'll be fine leaving her?"

"Send Curt it to keep her company. She'll need it."

"You are referring- I assume- to the fact she's about to go through the change?"

"I… I may have inadvertently sped it up. I can't control it one hundred per cent. I can't even **slow** it."

Nemesis nodded, then sighed.

"Shall we go and see what Gordian Knot Summers wants us to untie?"

She smiled softly.

"I'm good at knots. And if it comes to it, we can always copy Alexander."

"You mean cut it in half?"

"What else?"

Jubilee stared at them as they walked out, then got up to look at the setting sun, maybe for the last time.

"Hey!"

She leapt backwards as Curt dropped down onto the balcony.

"Do you **know** how difficult it was to get here? I had to pay Santo ten bucks to use his window to get down here!"

"Thanks Curt. You're really being sweet."

"Look… If you want to talk… I understand."

"How can you! I'm about to become a bloodthirsty monster!"

Curt raised an eyebrow and his brightly patterned orange Hawaiian shirt over a black t-shirt started to writhe.

"Really?"

"Oh… Yeah… Sorry… I just keep forgetting…"

"It's okay…"

They stood together looking out over the sunset and Jubilee smiled.

"You're okay Curt. If things were different… But they're not…"

"What?"

"It doesn't matter."

They stood in silence for a long moment. Then Jubilee spoke.

"Thanks. For understanding me. And…just being here."

"Well, I did have a huge crush on you about two years ago. Like, when we'd both just lost our powers and you looked so sad and I didn't know what to do either…"

"That's… Really… Sweet of you to tell me that… Thanks Curt…"

"Look, I better go. Dad's taking me and Laura to some sort of training thing."

"You're definitely getting on better with him, aren't you?"

"Yeah. Dad's… We understand each other better now."

"Yeah… Curt…"

"Yes Jubes?"

"Thanks for telling me… About having a crush on me… It's definitely cheered me up."

"I still do…"

"What?"

"I…still…er…"

She stared at him for a long second then they both burst out laughing.

"You had me going there Curty-Boy!"

He smiled, turned away then his face fell as he leapt up the wall.

"But I still do…"

* * *

><p>"Oh, that's so <strong>sad<strong>…"

"Phoenix, can you please stop being so…**soppy**!"

"Oh yes, I forgot your hatred of me cooing over romantic movies."

* * *

><p>Maya stood on the street corner, marking the human wandering around looking worried. He was a teenager, not one of the more popular ones by the slight stoop which suggested he was bullied. Good. No one with him, no one to prevent her from slipping away into the darkness and feeding off him. He came up, looking worried.<p>

"Have you seen my friend? She's Asian, dresses really bright, pale skin? I…I need to find her… Oh, she's **really** pretty."

"You've lost your girlfriend?"

"Not so much **girlfriend** as…"

"The girl you want to be your girlfriend?"

He nodded shyly. Maya smirked to herself.

"I think I know where she might have gone. Loads of people go there."

"Really? Thanks!"

She headed down the alley and felt him follow. Too easy. Soon she'd feast and gorge. He smelt **good**, no alcohol or drugs in his system, a healthy young man who would allow her to survive for another few days. Or she might just turn him, because he looked like Jack and she'd been alone since that **witch** killed Jack. Oh, she remembered that day all too well. They'd been preparing to feed and then Jack had gasped as the wooden tipped arrow had been driven right through his heart and Maya had retreated into the shadows as the woman had stepped out to pull their prey up. Maya would have attacked, if it had been anyone but the person it was. The Shadow, Dracula's obsession and protected by vampire law. Only Dracula was allowed to try and kill her, as the pair had supposedly been trying to kill each other so long they counted each other as friends. But oh, her blood had smelt **divine**. Like the Christmas dinners the master had been served, back when Maya was human. Rich and intoxicating, but untouchable, so untouchable. Death was the penalty of hurting the Shadow. Death in the most horrible way imaginable. So the Shadow killed them and they couldn't fight back.

Maya turned.

"We're here."

"This isn't anywhere…"

"I… I'm sorry… It's just… You remind me of a friend… He died."

"I'm sorry."

"I… I just…"

She moved in, knowing that a teenage boy wasn't going to object to her kissing him. He jerked his head away and she smirked. He'd just revealed his neck and she lunged… Only to have his shirt writhe and then she was thrown to the other side of the alley and sticky black threads were pinning her to the wall, threads that ran to the boy's shirt sleeves, which were rapidly turning into a strange orange and black body suit and a mask slid over his face.

"Now bloodsucker, tell me where Jubilee is!"

"Who are you…?"

"I. Am. Poison. Now tell me, **where is Jubilee**!"

"I…I don't know!"

"Oh well. I've never eaten vampire brains before. I wonder what they taste like!"

"GET OFF ME!"

Maya was terrified. She had thought she was the predator and he was the prey. It turned out it was the other way around.

"WHAT **ARE** YOU!"

He had smelt human. But now he smelt of something different and dangerous, not even earthly.

"I am the hunter of all. I'm Xixswaldraster, bond-prince of the K'Meeri Empire."

And then the ropes slid around Maya's head and she collapsed, realising she was about to die.

* * *

><p>"And that reveals whose son Curt actually was. He was Logan's, through and through. Jamie always took after his mother and, well, Eva was a forgone conclusion."<p>

* * *

><p>Max stared at the helmet. He remembered the first one he had ever worn, one day when Shadow had jokingly placed her helmet on his head, and he had rattled around proudly all day because she had let <strong>him<strong>, Max Eisenhart; wear her, the **Shadow's** helmet. And then she had laughed at him and told him he could wear it when they were fighting because it looked so good on him. Max had puffed up his chest and decided that he was going to be the best son in the world, make Shadow feel proud of him each and every day.

And then he had hidden in the cellar, clutching the helmet to him as the men had slaughtered his friends and he kept praying, praying that Shadow would come and save him. But she didn't and the roof fell in and she never came for him. It took Max three days to pull his way out and all he found were graves for his friends and a fire for those who had killed them. Max had clung to the helmet and that was when he decided that **everyone** abandoned you in the end, **especially** those who said they cared about you. Max Eisenhardt died and Erik Lehnsherr was born.

And Erik discovered his powers and he lost his family and that just cemented the belief that those you loved left you. And Erik became Magnus and met Charles Xavier, naïve and optimistic to a fault, so weak and dreaming of a world that never would be.

And then Magnus put the helmet on and became Magneto and then he realised that the one he hated but had once idolised was just a woman who would never be truly great and then she was dead and he placed **her** helmet, the first helmet Magneto had worn, on her grave and called the Captain a fool. And then Tora had given him a letter from a dead woman who had never stopped loving him and Max Eisenhardt was born again.

Max picked up the helmet but Magneto was the one who put it on.

* * *

><p>"So he was Max without the helmet and Magneto with it?"<p>

"Sort of… Later, then yes, that's how he felt. Max was the man. Magneto was the warrior."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N.<strong> Wow. 150 chapters and a year on from the very first posting… Well, a lot's happened in that time. Tora's aged 24 years, got married, had three kids and gone insane a few times. And I've… er… made some self-discoveries, definitely improved my writing style and changed the plot **hugely** from the original –Etana didn't even **feature** in my plan! Would you believe it? Hopefully, Memories won't be another 150 chapters or another year long. If it is, I may just go doolally. _

_No, seriously, I have Etana lodging in my brain! She won't **shut up**! I killed her off in the first place because she was uncooperative and she **still** gets all the best lines! Curse you Etana, why do you keep coming up with your brilliant lines when it's really difficult to write it down! Like in the middle of my English exam! Do you think it's **funny**! Why can't you say these things when I'm in front of my computer and in the writing mood?_

_But really, how can a character I only planned to be relatively minor when I put her in the first time, end up being my favourite character to write any interactions with? (Okay, I prefer Tora/Logan, Tora/Kurt but Etana's a joy to write with anyone, whereas Tora doesn't play well with others. Do I sound slightly crazy? I think I need to go lie down in a darkened room)_


	151. Blood Ties

**Memories**

Blood Ties

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Tora dived under the bed and pulled out the box coated in silver, an effective vampire repellent. Flicking the catches open, she flung the lid back and smiled. Etana had come up trumps again. A quiver of arrows that were wooden- and silver-tipped, bottles and bottles of holy water, a vast plethora of Jewish religious symbols and mirrors, prisms and a blacked-out jar marked 'Bottled Sunlight' which Tora had a sneaking suspicion was **actually** sunlight which Etana had somehow trapped. A list of instructions lay underneath the quiver, written in Japanese. Tora picked it up and quickly scanned the page.

_Dear Logan. I sincerely hope you **never** need this kit, but if you do, I hope you'll use it well. To use the sunlight jar, only peel back the black covering. If you're ever surrounded… I'd open it, but then you'll need to replenish the jar by leaving it in direct sunlight for two hours and then closing the lid **tightly**. You'll have two hours of light if you simply peel it back, but if you open the jar, you'll suddenly get two hours of direct sunlight in a matter of seconds. I don't think you'll be able to use the symbols as you never shared my faith, but if there's anyone who **can** use them, hand them over immediately. Try to keep the whole kit up to date. Oh, and if you use the arrows, try and get them back. Silver-tipping is incredibly difficult to do as the shaft kept crumbling to charcoal. The wooden tips are okay unless they're wearing armour. Oh, there's some water guns in the other box. If facing one of the more powerful vampires, dip one of the silver-coated arrows with the religious symbols engraved in the holy water and convert to a theist religion. Or Buddhism. Etana._

Tora half-peeled the black cover off and was treated to a brief flash of warm summer sunlight before covering it up again. She smiled ferociously. Etana might not be able to directly interfere with human affairs now unless it was someone dying, but she could certainly give a helping hand. Tora wouldn't have known Etana had this box unless sheet of paper had been found in the hospital next to an old man who had requested his life support machine be turned off.

The note had been short and sweet, written in English to 'my daughter', an odd fact considering the man didn't have any family at all. All it had said was _Under the bed in New York, lies a box of silver, filled with blessed water and arrows of light. Fire them at shadows and hope you shall remain alive._

It had been reported as a minor oddity, asking if anyone knew anything about this riddle. Tora had known instantly who had been behind it. Knowing Etana, she'd have been writing 'poetry' when the job came up and she'd have 'accidentally' left it behind. No actual breaking the rules, but still helping out. Typical Etana.

* * *

><p>Death tutted softy.<p>

"Typical. You know, I sometimes wonder if it was worth taking her on, and then she does something that completely revolutionises the Afterlife and makes my life so much easier."

"Death…?"

"Yes?"

"You aren't alive."

"Well lah-di-da Miss I'm-Alive-And-You're-Not"

* * *

><p>Curt grabbed Logan's arm.<p>

"Dad…"

"Yeah?"

"I know you won't let me go, but when you find her, give Jubes this…"

"Sure thing."

He took the little packet and grinned at him.

"This from Maman?"

"No. From me. Wade gave me a couple. It's an amulet to protect vampires from the sun. You know…"

"Thanks kid."

"And Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Am I too young for a girlfriend?"

Logan stared at him for a long moment.

"Let's discuss that when I get back, shall we?"

"Sure thing Dad!"

Logan turned and got on the boat. Tora was sitting in the corner, fingers pressed to her temples, deeply immersed in another reality. No point saying goodbye. She'd barely notice.

He climbed on the boat, after soaking his gloves in the water from Etana's kit.

* * *

><p>"Again, she saves the X-Men. If I'd known, I'd have revoked farseeing rights…"<p>

"Ah, don't be a spoilsport Death."

* * *

><p>"And what do you want me to do? Spank my son-"<p>

Tora's eyes flashed silver.

"We have blood."

"I don't need blood."

"We have Etana's blood."

Silence for a long moment. Then Scott grabbed Tora's hand.

"What the **hell** are you planning?"

"You were 'friends' weren't you? Or as close as a vampire lord and his hunter can be."

"I cared for Etana. She was the one bride who I would have chosen over all the others, even **you** Ororo. She was never turned, no matter how hard I tried, how often I drank. You fail to realise how **wonderful** her blood was…"

"Oh, I know. I know how one drop of her blood can heal you from the most grievous wounds and give you huge amounts of energy."

"_Ah, Ororo. You look as radiant as ever. I'd bow, but circumstances prevent me. And Blade, always a pleasure to see my self-proclaimed nemesis. Half human. Half vampire. All irrelevant."_

_Etana sauntered in._

"_Hello Vlad."_

"_Etana!" The vampire lord sounded genuinely happy. "As **ravishing** as always. Red suits you. Do you remember the dinner in Calais, in –oh, when was it- You wore that stunning low-cut red dress with the corset and we spoke politely, danced and then you staked me through the heart?"_

"_Could never forget it."_

_They were chatting softly, like old friends._

"_When did we last meet?"_

"'_99. The bucket of water over the door."_

"_That was **you**? Ah, I should have guessed. You shifted my dust perfectly you know? Wonderful sleep… Have you reconsidered my offer?"_

"_Sorry sweetheart. You've been out for a while. Married and a mother, that's me…"_

"_Who should I offer the most profound of congratulations, all the while plotting to kill him and steal his wife?"_

"_Steve Rogers."_

"_Ah, the typical all-American boy-next-door. Etana, I'm **ashamed **of you. Stooping so low…"_

"_Vlad, we have a problem. A **vampire** problem."_

_Emma glanced at Scott who shook his head. The message was clear. Let Etana deal with this._

"_And you resurrected me? What **problem** would be so terrible you could not deal with it my dear?"_

"_Your son."_

"_Ah… Xarus, I presume?"_

"_Exactly. You should have let me stake him and scatter the dust across the nations when I asked."_

"_How was I to know he would turn out so…disappointing?"_

"_Here's the deal. You defeat Xarus, reclaim the vampire throne and we go back to our old deal, plus a little extra."_

"_What 'little extra'?"_

"_One pint of my blood a month, free of charge."_

_Silence for a long moment. Then Dracula's lips curled up cruelly._

"_My, my. You **do** have a problem, don't you? **Your** blood? The blood of the Shadow? The sweetest of the mortals? My dear, you have a deal. Now release me."_

_Etana walked over to the console and Scott caught her arm._

"_Etana, what are you doing!"_

"_Saving your sorry hide. Oh, and don't tell Steve about Vlad's…obsession. It's slightly creepy."_

"_You're telling me!"_

Dracula's lips curled up in exactly the same cruel smile.

"How much blood?"

"Enough for you to have one pint every four months for three years. More than you used to get, wasn't it? You'd get a taste, what, every sixty years or so? Every time she failed to kill you, you got a drink? Wasn't that your deal?"

Dracula nodded slowly. Then he nodded.

"I accept. Her blood in exchange for my…services. Summers, consider your vampire problem, dealt with."

Tora turned away, stared at Scott for a long moment, then spoke very softly.

"She's saved our hide yet again Scott. One day you're going to have to admit that Etana was an X-Man. She was one of us."

"No. She wasn't an X-Man. She was a loose-cannon. Like you're becoming. What was that just now!"

"Me saving lives! Does that **bother** you Scott? That I'm saving real, **human** lives? If I hadn't brokered this deal, we'd be scuppered! Lost! Defeated! I know what you've planned with Logan, Scott and I don't like it! But I'm going through with it because I think we need to survive! We need to save lives, because that's what the X-Men are about! Saving lives! And if you've forgotten that, then maybe you need to step down as leader!"

"Are you challenging me! You want to be leader, fine, you lead."

"I'm no leader Scott. That's **your** job. But do it properly, or we'll find someone else who can do it."

"You're stepping too far Tora."

"No Scott. You are."

She turned and stalked out, her hair –uncut for a long time so now rippling around the small of her back instead of cut to her shoulder blades- streaming out behind her. Scott blinked.

"Did Tora just tell me I'm not cut out for running Utopia?"

Emma shook her head.

"I think she's telling you she's fed up of **how **you're running Utopia."

Scott pinched the bridge of his nose.

"How do we fix this Emma? How do we fix us? How do we fix **Tora**?"

"I don't know darling. I don't know…"

* * *

><p>"And Tora registers her anger for the first time. Kind of sweet."<p>

"I think she was channelling Kurt just then."

"No, feel the emotions. Anger, that's Tora. Disappointment? That's Kurt."


	152. Ashes and Tears

**Memories**

Ashes and Tears

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Tora stood behind Scott, eyes half-closed, the most dangerous and secret of Etana's vampire weapons in her large bag slung over one shoulder.

"Scott, whatever happens… I will fight at your side. I will fight for you. But we need to reconsider some of our tactics. I… I've been reading ahead."

"Other realities? What's the odds?"

"Bad. It all hinges on this call. There are two outcomes from this. The first gives us twelve-to-one odds in our favour. That's the outcome I know you're hoping for. With 'the plan' and all that. The other… six thousand-to-one chance of survival without becoming vampires."

"What do you think?"

"Bad. Very, very bad."

"You brokered the deal with Dracula. We're keeping him for later. Don't worry. We'll get Logan back."

"Did you just say 'I hope' under your breath Scott Summers?"

He turned, expecting to see the dark glare that he'd gotten used to seeing on Tora's face. Instead a slight smile played over her face, the little smirk she'd gained from Kurt. He was able to banter back a reply.

"Don't tell."

She winked and Scott blinked. Tora? Joking? Was the world ending? She shook her head slightly.

"I need to go back to my reality."

"Oh. You aren't our Tora?"

"Sorry."

"You better go."

And Tora's face slipped back into its severe mask, eyes clouding over with anger. Scott sighed and returned his attention to the call. The conversation with Xarus didn't go well. And then Logan stepped forward and Tora's lips slid back in a slight snarl, displaying her canines, which no longer looked long and sharp in relation to the vampires'.

Logan smirked at her.

"_You look even more beautiful than ever darling. All the girls do."_

"If you've cheated on me with a vampire Logan, I will kill you, undead or not. In fact, I'll call in Death's Left Hand. And we'll kill you together. Slowly and in an incredibly painful way, probably involving a volcano, a broken viola and three bottle of rice wine."

Ororo glanced at Tora.

"How do you manage that?"

"I don't want to spoil the surprise. Logan, word of warning. Attack Utopia and I'll be the one to kill you. I will kill every. Last. One. Of. You. _Compris_?"

"You don't kill sweetheart. We both know that."

"No. We **don't**. And if you bloodsuckers attack Utopia, you'll be endangering my children. And you know better than most what happens to those who hurt my kids Logan. They **die**. I am patient. I will wait and watch and then I will strike. And all that will be left is ashes. Ashes and tears."

She jabbed the button and severed the connection, turning round, hair flowing out behind her; Jeanne shifting from cat to tiger, solid fur and muscle to water and sea-spray. Tora was angry. And when Tora was angry, she lost control.

* * *

><p>"Ohh! Exciting!"<p>

"Death, can you contain your excitement until the popcorn's done?"

"You have popcorn!"

"Kinda. It's **difficult** to create basic elements, let alone plants. Once it's done, I'm relying on Phoenix here to cook it."

"If we're resorting to Earth teenagers from the early twenty-first century, can we play silly party games?"

"PHOENIX!"

"Oh yeah… I forgot you had problems with those…"

* * *

><p>"Curt?"<p>

"Yeah Maman?"

"In here."

She held the door open and Curt shot in.

"What?"

She held up a jar. Curt leant forward.

"Bottled Sunlight? Is that…?"

"_Oui_. Now, when we're attacked, I'm going to open it. I want you to protect Jubilee. Yes, I know about you and Jubilee."

"How!"

"I'm your mother."

"Oh… Is this about the all-seeing eye of Dragon that Uncle Xix keeps going on about?"

"No, this is the 'I am your mother and I know when you happen to be completely infatuated with your father's protégée'."

"Oh…"

"Right, back to the plan. Send out a web, or **something** to protect her. Because this light will burn through every single bloodsucker in its range."

"What about Dad?"

"Let me deal with your father."

She turned to leave but Curt grabbed her arm.

"You're going to kill him, aren't you?"

She stared at him for a long moment, eyes dark with something unreadable. Then she wrenched her arm free.

"If it comes to that…"

* * *

><p>"Oh… Yay, Dark Tora! Is the popcorn ready?"<p>

"Popcorn, Diet Coke and chocolate. Here you go."

"You're a **marvellous** host sweetie!"

"Thank you Death. But don't call me sweetie."

* * *

><p>Proud and defiant. Tora standing on the cliff, her hair whipping around her face and she jerked her head impatiently to get a black strand from her eyes. She could see them, massing on the other side of the Bay. Waiting, just like she was. She saw their leader turn his head towards her, sense the smirk drawing across his face. She knew his night vision was now better than hers. So she cheated.<p>

Her eyes shone silver and she saw **all**. She knew from the mainland that two burning pinpricks had appeared, reminding the vampire's exactly **who **and **what** guarded Utopia. She raised a hand and let the water coil around her, letting it mist up, knowing it gave her an ethereal, otherworldly appearance. Intimidation wouldn't work on the generals but it probably would give the lower-downs something to think about. She was tempted to magnify her voice, but that would be slightly overdramatic. There was a cough behind her and she turned, smiling slightly when she saw Hope.

"Have you fought vampires before Hope?"

"No. Cable always told me to leave them to you. Or the other yous. Sorry, it's all rather confusing."

"Tell me about it. Look, I'm going to turn the lights out."

The mist dissipated, her eyes returned to gold and she sat down gracefully. Hope slumped down next to her. Tora sighed and stared up.

"He told me he loved me when we were on a hill, just watching the stars…"

Hope blinked.

"Wolverine?"

"Yeah." She chuckled slightly. "It wasn't really very romantic. We'd left separately to avoid suspicion and then at the restaurant he wanted to tell me what I was getting into. He told me everything he remembered. About how he wasn't exactly the perfect guy to get involved with. Especially seeing as I'd never been in a relationship before. I told him not to be so stupid and gave him directions to a park out of town. It was dark enough to see the stars and I'd checked out something with Beast beforehand. The Aurora… Have you ever seen the Northern Lights, Hope? No? Well they're beautiful… It's like the sky's on fire, with red and green flames, dancing around each other… And I was just watching them but I didn't realise that Logan was watching me. And then he just blurted out 'I love you'. I didn't believe him to begin with…"

She stared up, a tear trickling down one cheek. Hope stared at her for a long second.

"Have you ever told anyone that?"

Tora shook her head.

"No one."

"Why me?"

"I…I need to tell someone… Before… If Scott's plan fails, I'm the only one with the power to kill him… Maybe, I just need to get this out… If I kill him… I don't know what I'll do. Hope?"

"Yeah?"

"If I ever go bad, you might be the only one with the power to stop me. In that case, I give you permission to do what you have to."

"Why is everyone so afraid of you? I don't get it…"

Tora closed her eyes then sighed and opened them, fixing Hope in a hawk-like gaze.

"I'm dying."

"What…?"

"I'm going to die. I –accidentally- ended up making a bond with Kurt –Nightcrawler… And it linked us, close, too close. When he died… I was… I knew then I was going to die. We always do. When our _Makrrrst_ dies, we can't bear to go on. I hoped it would be quick. It's not… It's drawing out, completely breaking me to shreds. I…I look in the mirror and my reflection **taunts **me. I'm dying Hope. But the way things are going, I'll end up killing everyone I care about in the process."

Hope stood up.

"Why me? Why are you doing this to me!"

Tora rose and stared at the girl.

"Because if you aren't careful, you'll **become** me. And I wouldn't wish that on anyone for the world."

Hope sniffed and Tora reached out a hand.

"I'm sorry…"

She brushed the tears aside but Hope shook her head violently.

"You don't **understand**! Cable wasn't the only one who was always there for me! You were **always** there! ALWAYS! And you never left me, not unless you had to! And now you want me to kill you, cos you think I'm the only one who'd be able to do it! I couldn't! I never **could**! It'd be like killing Cable! He was my dad and you were basically my mom! You even **fought** like parents are supposed to! You know, he'd be all for teaching me to handle a gun and you'd tell him I was too young! I was just a kid and you were always there! To pick me up, to dust me down, help me start again! When I hit puberty, Nathan just went all edgy and then jumped, **just** so we could find a version of you to explain it all to me! And then you ended up getting married to him and I had **three** **years** of being **normal**! I…I loved you like my mom… And you want me to **kill** you…"

"I'm sorry Hope… But…"

She stiffened as the alert siren sounded, chikted her claws out then ran towards the sea, leaving Hope standing shivering on the cliff, trying desperately not to cry.

* * *

><p>"Aw… That's kinda sweet…"<p>

Phoenix shook her head.

"Not really. You forget I **lived** in Hope's head for a while. She grew to hate Tora. After all, Tora was the one person Hope trusted and Tora betrayed her in the worst way possible. She left Hope."

"In other words, a totally average mother-daughter relationship."

"Well, just because **your** daughter tried to kill you, doesn't mean that all daughters are like that. Sorry… That was below the belt…"

For the masked woman had stormed off, snarling in rage.


	153. Kiss His Poisonous Lips

**Memories**

Kiss His Poisonous Lips

Disclaimer: What do you think? If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She stood there, motionless, the jar clutched to her chest. Her fingers tightened on the lid. Could she do it? Could she kill these people? Her hand tightened, she twisted slightly then stopped. She had sworn never to kill. She had told herself she would never give into the temptation again, no matter how softly the voice spoke and told her it was for the greater good and she'd be helping people. Life wasn't hers to take. Ever. But they were threatening not only the mutant-race but her children. The little voices spoke so softly, whispering that it would be alright. She was just saving her kind. But…

She shook her head. No. She wasn't going to open the jar. That would be murder, plain and simple. She was about to place it down when suddenly she stiffened, her hands were forced open by a vicious wrench and the jar fell through her frozen fingers. She barely had time to shout a warning to Curt to protect Jubilee before the glass shattered and burning light shone out, blinding everyone for a few seconds. When they looked again, all they could see was ash blowing in the breeze. Where was Jubilee!

And Curt gently opened his arms to reveal Jubilee and he looked so happy and Jubilee seemed fine with him and Tora could see Logan limping across the battlefield and Scott was staring at her and he was opening his mouth.

"Take her to the Brig."

"What?"

"I saw what you did Tora. That was almost genocide."

She opened her mouth to explain it was an accident, she hadn't meant for it to happen but Piotr had her in a choke-hold and she couldn't speak and she tried to explain as Bobby iced her hands over but when she tried to speak all she got was an ice gag for her troubles. She went quietly, knowing she'd have her chance to speak up later. If she was able to…

And then a voice rang out.

"It wasn't her! It was me!"

And they turned to see Hope standing defiant.

"I took Magneto's power and I controlled her so she dropped the jar. I'm the one who killed them!"

The ice fell from Tora's hands and she closed her eyes in sadness. She could hear Scott making excuses for Hope. After all, Hope had come from the future where she'd have to kill to stay alive. It was conditioned into her… And no one spared a thought to Tora, who had never stopped fighting for survival her entire life…

* * *

><p>"Did she ever find the peace she grew to crave?"<p>

"Never. She was leader of the X-Men in the first century of the Utopian Nation. Then she faked her death to go off and do more under the radar stuff. Then she returned and fixed up the mess that was the result of poor management, ended up the President of Utopia, much to her disgust and then she had to run the evacuation of Earth whilst still stopping everything going pear-shaped, then her husband died of old-age and she was totally distraught and tried to kill everyone and then she went around righting wrongs and saving planets, doing Dragon stuff and she never really had any time to just sit down, take a break and relax."

"Oh, poor her. She must have enjoyed being dead."

"Yes, they were some of the best points in her life. Calm, peaceful-**ish** filing."

* * *

><p>She stepped into the room, knowing Blade was watching.<p>

"Hello Jubilee. I'm here to fix the sunlight allergy."

The girl nodded wearily.

"Thanks."

"Now, close your eyes."

Her hands moved swiftly, knitting together a brilliant mesh of waves. It fitted like a suit over Jubilee then sank into her. Tora nodded slightly and then raised a finger. The window cracked open and sunlight poured onto Jubilee. From experiments, Tora knew she could prevent the deteriorating into dust if the blocks had gone wrong. But Jubilee was looking bored.

"Can I open my eyes now?"

"Yes."

The girl did and her mouth dropped open as she realised that the day was no longer forbidden territory to her. Tora smiled and slipped off a small pouch from her shoulder.

"This is mine. Enjoy."

She left as Jubilee sank her fangs into the pouch of blood, drinking deeply.

* * *

><p>"Didn't she let Jubilee feed off her personally?"<p>

"Yes. It dulled the hunt instinct."

* * *

><p>"Jubilee?"<p>

Her head snapped up faster than a human should be able to move.

"Curt? What are you doing here?"

"Coming to see you, doofus."

The door opened and Curt flipped in.

"Hi! Yeah… Well… Hi!"

"You've already said that."

"You aren't going to say hi back?"

"I'm dangerous Curt. You shouldn't be here. I feed on people."

"So do I."

"What?"

"I eat brains. You just drink blood."

She stared at him, her head tilted to one side.

"I suppose…"

"Hey, we're monsters on an island of genetic freaks? We gotta stick together."

She smiled slightly. He seemed to consider this an invitation to speak further.

"Er… Wanna go get ice-cream?"

"I… I don't really like human food… Did you just ask me on a date?"

"Yep!"

She blinked at him.

"I suppose we could go into the city. If you're ready to restrain me if I go insane and try to bite people. And we have to go in the dark. Your mom did a good job but I don't want to go outside until I'm absolutely sure."

"That's fine."

"So, how did you get Cyke to give me permission to leave?"

* * *

><p>"Don't tell me he took a vampire into a crowded city without permission…"<p>

"He did."

* * *

><p>"I can't believe you just smuggled me out of Utopia!"<p>

Curt grinned, his face lighting up.

"I know! Wasn't it great when I webbed up the security dude!"

"We're going to be in so much trouble…"

Curt's eyes were sparkling, one the ice-blue of Logan's, the other Tora's soft gold; the same shape as Wolverine's but with Tora's oval pupils.

"Ice-cream!"

"Hey! Freak!"

Curt stiffened and then grabbed Jubilee's hand and started tugging her along the street.

"Curt, what's wrong?"

"They're idiots from school. Like to tease me."

"Hey, whatcha doing with Freak? He's a weirdo, a creep. Mutters to himself all the time!"

Jubilee snarled and was severely tempted to spin around and bite them all. Instead she contented herself with a smirk, then grabbing Curt's shoulders, spinning him around and kissing him. He made an odd squeaking noise then started spluttering what sounded like 'help!' into her mouth but it was this or go and tear out the stupid humans' throats.

She pulled her head back and almost laughed at the dazed look on Curt's face.

"You okay?"

"Can we do that again?"

Jubilee did laugh at that, right before pressing her lips firmly to Curt's again. And this time he kissed back. He was rubbish, but then he **had** never been kissed before. Something she planned to remedy very, very soon. You know, given some time, he might end up being a half-way decent kisser…

* * *

><p>"What, you mean the first kiss of the Romeo and Juliet of the twenty-first century was to stop Jubilee from biting some bullies?"<p>

"I don't think you can call them Romeo and Juliet. They were more a comedy than a tragedy. Lysander and Hermia maybe…"


	154. Defeating Demons

**Memories**

Defeating Demons

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Jubilee half-grinned. She'd come back absolutely terrified only to find Tora leaning on the wall, one eyebrow raised.

"Good date?"

"Er…"

"Better hurry. The camera loops will only last about five minutes longer."

"Thanks."

She'd turned to hurry back to her room but Tora had grabbed her shoulder.

"Yeah?"

"Don't break his heart. And please don't lead him astray. He has Deadpool to do that for him."

Jubilee was going to cross her heart but on second thoughts decided against it. She smiled at Tora instead.

"I'll be the model of virtue."

"Good. You better run."

Jubilee did so and felt a little rush of satisfaction. At least **one** of Curt's parents approved.

* * *

><p>"Tora was fine with it, wasn't she?"<p>

"Yes, it was Logan who didn't know what to do. Whether to threaten Curt that hurting Jubilee would result in extreme pain or tell Jubilee to be nice to Curt."

"In the end?"

"He decided it was for the best."

* * *

><p>She stood in pure defiance, facing Scott and the others.<p>

"Curt, see if you can find the Ghost Riders and the Son of Satan. Tell the Riders that it's for Justice's Shadow. Tell Daimon it's repayment for saving him when facing the Chaos King, which of course none of you remember because you were all out of it. Emma, I want you to go into Logan's mind. See if you can fix him up. Take Jubilee and Kitty. Scott, plan something to in case this all fails."

"What are you going to be doing Tora?"

She smirked, picked up the matched katanas and span them round, sticking them into the shoulder holsters so they crossed her back.

"I'm going to Hell to get my husband back."

* * *

><p>"Ah, so simple."<p>

"Yes, it was rather…"

* * *

><p>"Are you sure about this?"<p>

"Of course."

"And why are you taking your kids?"

"I want them close."

"So you want us to protect your body while you're away doing…whatever it is you're doing?"

"Basically. Please banish me Illyana."

Magik started the banishment incantation and Tora held both Jamie and Eva close. She didn't want to take them, but Dragon had mentioned, ever so casually, that she should. And then Tora was torn from her body.

"_Hello. What are you doing here?"_

"_Etana?"_

_The woman was sitting cross-legged on the floor, dressed simply and in white._

"_Oh, are these your kids? They look so sweet. Come to Auntie Tana!"_

_Jamie quite happily hurried over and hugged her. Eva looked wary. Tora gently pushed her over and then Etana was pulling faces to make Eva giggle._

"_Are you the Malach Hamavet?"_

_Etana shook her head._

"_No, she's out **there**. Doing Malach Hamavety things. I'm still a part of her, in a way, but I'm sort of stuck here. I can't go to the Afterlife unless the Malach Hamavet is there and she keeps sauntering back to the real world. I'm afraid I'm stuck here until the end of time, then I can finally go back, be the Malach Hamavet and Etana at the same time, just like I used to be, and then actually help out. I mean, I go to the afterlife whenever she comes back, but when she leaves, which is far too often, I get pushed out here. I'm thinking of staying here permanently. You know, point the ways. It's boring, but someone has to do it."_

"_Have you seen Logan?"_

"_Yep. Look, I'll babysit. You go past Valhalla, turn right at Hel, if you reach the Underworld you've gone too far. It's the one with the big gates with the carving from Dante's _Inferno_. The ruler of that underworld is a bit of a traditionalist, as evil demons go. Oh, and I'll send a certain Chosen to help you."_

"_I don't want a Chosen."_

"_Oh, you will when you know who it is."_

_Tora stiffened._

"_Kurt…?"_

"_Of course."_

_Etana waved a hand lazily and Kurt appeared._

"_Etana? Tora!"_

_He threw his arms around Tora's neck, hugging her, only to recoil when she slapped him._

"_Okay. What did I do **this** time?"_

"_You died."_

"_Well… Sorry? I did change my mind from going straight to Judgement to going to another afterlife, just to wait for you lot."_

_And then Tora was hugging him and crying and gasping for breath._

"_They have Logan… They have Logan…"_

"_Hush… It'll be all right… Hush…"_

"_I need your help to rescue him."_

"_Of course. Etana, permission to leave my post to help Dragon?"_

"_Permission granted. Now who's a clever girl, Eva…?"_

_Kurt rolled his eyes and started walking along and Tora only just became aware of his armour._

"_What's with the new look?"_

_He shrugged._

"_Apparently spandex isn't considered sufficient uniform for the Chosen and Etana got to decide the uniforms and went traditional. What do you think? I'm supposedly a rather high-ranking Chosen, but this armour does **not** go with this fur!"_

_Tora tried –and failed miserably- to stop herself from giggling. To be fair, the gleaming pearly white armour did clash terribly with Kurt's indigo fur._

"_I think it should be in ecru, not pure white. So, what are you doing here?"_

_Kurt smirked._

"_Well, I'm **actually** the highest-ranking Chosen in the Norse Hel. I report directly to the Malach Hamavet."_

"_So what is it the Chosen actually **do**?"_

"_Well, we're sort of the ultimate police force. The Avengers in a way. We step in when things have got too out of hand. You know, the Chosen and the Malach Hamavet were the only in the afterlife who dared to stand up to the Chaos King. Of course, we were all consumed, but we did put up a fight, which is more than most. I heard you had a position in the new God Squad."_

"_Yes. I helped out. A lot. The Malach Hamavet ended up helping, although she was a little the worse for wear."_

"_Yes, I was the one who pushed her out into the real world. Thought she'd be more help out there."_

"_Thanks Kurt. She was a lifesaver, that was for sure. And I had a nice chat with Galactus. He's an okay bloke, once you get over his habit for eating planets."_

"_Here we are. So, what **are** you going to do?"_

"_Well, I was actually just planning to go in there, yell until I get taken to whoever is in charge and then threaten them until I get my husband back, sans demons."_

"_In other words, you haven't a plan?"_

"_That's always the best plan!"_

_Kurt shrugged._

"_Need a Chosen?"_

"_Do you have any weapons?"_

"_Etana designed the armour. What do **you** think?"_

"_How many?"_

"_Well, I can basically have any weapon I imagine. It's kind of cool."_

"_Good. Right, I have some swords."_

_The katanas were unsheathed and Tora stared at the gates for a second before cutting a hole right through the ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE._

"_Well, that's **one** way of opening the doors. I remember here. Got sent to a facsimile on my twenty-first."_

"_Yes, I know. Ready?"_

"_Of course. The old trouble-makers, ready to do what we do best. Wittily humiliate any and all we fight with."_

_They laughed and launched forward. After all, they were complete for the first time in far too long._

* * *

><p>"How <strong>sweet<strong>."

"Death?"

"Yes?"

"Please shut up."

* * *

><p><em>Agony. Pure and bitter agony. And that was all Logan knew. And then silver light burned through the door and Tora marched through, eyes flashing dangerously, a katana in each hand.<em>

"_I want to see who's in charge right **now**! Understand! And if I don't meet whoever is in charge of this dump in twenty seconds, then I will get mad!"_

"_And you won't like her when she's mad."_

_Logan's mouth dropped open. Kurt was standing behind Tora, dressed in white armour that then shifted, creating a rapier in his right hand. Tora was now standing hands on hips, counting down._

"_Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five-"_

"_Why are you here Dragon?"_

"_I want my husband back, thank you very much. And in one piece, mark that. And no demons in his head. And I would quite like to find out who is responsible for this so I can go and smash their heads through a brick wall or two. And then I may come back and hurt you. I take attacks on my mate very, **very** seriously indeed."_

_Kurt piped up behind her._

"_She does."_

"_What is a **Chosen** doing here?"_

"_Well, my boss gave me some time off and I thought I'd help out an old friend. Hello Logan."_

_Logan opened his mouth but it was too dry. Kurt bamfed over and held up a cup._

"_Careful. This is Etana's preferred drink. It's a bit…strong…"_

_That was an understatement. It burnt Logan's throat and he choked._

"_What…is…that…stuff?"_

"_I'm not sure. Etana just insists we all carry a flask. Says it improves strength. Too strong for my liking, but it's like a huge energy rush."_

_And Satan was laughing but Tora didn't seem impressed._

"_Right. I'm fed up."_

_Her hands started to glow with energy and Logan gulped as Kurt cut him down. And then Tora exploded. Not literally of course. But the power seemed to be more than she'd ever used before and the waves doused the fires summoned to protect and then the Soulcutter was brought out and they bowed, Tora raised both swords and they duelled. Back and forth, the blades clashing and no quarter given. She slashed the Devil's face with the white blade and he screamed as it obviously burnt him. Badly. The Soulcutter was brought round in a wild swing and hit into her stomach. She fell and he screamed, terrified. No! Not Tora!_

_And then she rose, body changing into a gleaming silvery-blue dragon that writhed and snarled, leaning towards the demon as her body stretched and elongated and then she tilted her head back as the demon collapsed to his knees, holding one arm out in a plea for mercy._

"_Please…"_

**Die.**

_And her jaws opened and silvery mist shot out of her mouth, snarling and roaring as her eyes were coloured like the storm-swept sea, waves crashing around._

"_NOO!"_

_And she slid and swirled, her body turning to water and returning to her small, graceful human form. She kicked the bones that were shiny from the water that had eroded away the being who they belonged to and she turned around._

"_Right. You are coming home mister."_

_And he grabbed her arms and pulled her in for a hug. Kurt smirked._

"_I have to go. I assume you can find your own way back?"_

"_No! Kurt!"_

_But he'd already gone and Logan felt so hopeless as the veil of despair slid back over her eyes._

* * *

><p>"Was that the only time she was at peace when Kurt was dead?"<p>

"Basically, yes. She was even more mad at him for leaving when she thought she could resurrect him."

"But she still brought him back?"

"Yes, then promptly died, leaving him in a coma."

"Oh yeah."


	155. Juxtapostion

**Memories**

Juxtaposition

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

_She pulled her hood down and Steve nodded._

"_News?"_

"_Apocalypse is planning to send Creed to attack Ohio. He thinks they're hiding the Resistance."_

"_Etana?"_

_Tora closed her eyes._

"_She's getting there. Half coy, half completely brazen. Apocalypse has made it an offence to try and proposition her. It won't be long. Soon she'll get him alone and then… He'll be dead."_

_Steve didn't look very happy at this but he nodded._

"_And Logan?"_

"_I… I'll be more than able to distract him. He's getting wary of me though."_

"_I don't think anyone has sacrificed more for this cause than you. Have you seen Jamie since we last met?"_

_Tora shook her head._

"_He won't let me close to him. This is why we have to strike out. I won't let my son be tainted by Apocalypse."_

_He nodded and she lowered her head._

"_I feel filthy. He touches me and I just want to shudder."_

"_Tora…"_

"_I have to sleep beside the man who led the massacre of Rio! You think it's easy? I have to pretend that I love him and what he does, whilst he repeatedly sleeps his way through Apocalypse's harem without even the decency to hide what he's doing!"_

"_I'm sorry. What you do is the most important part of the Resistance."_

"_Oh, so in the history books, they will mention the woman who repeatedly let the man she once thought she loved abuse her, just to continue to bring information? No, Etana will be the one remembered. Etana will be feted as the woman who killed Apocalypse. You will be famous as the leader of the Resistance. I'll just be the turncoat traitor to my own kind."_

_He touched her shoulder._

"_I appreciate it. Even if the rest of the world doesn't."_

_She nodded slowly._

"_I need to go back."_

"_Then go."_

_She walked out the door and along the tunnel, before stopping._

"_Kurt?"_

_He dropped down from the ceiling._

"_Meine Liebe…"_

_She let him hug her, resting her head on his shoulder. He pulled back, eyes confused._

"_This… This is wrong. But…it feels right."_

"_There is nothing wrong here. It is the others of our kind who are wrong."_

"_You are still married. This is almost adultery…"_

"_The man I married died the day Logan chose to follow Apocalypse. I do not consider the man who exists today to be our old friend. My Logan is dead."_

_Kurt raised her head, was so tempted to touch her face but she stepped away._

"_I need to go. I can only be away for a short time without arousing suspicion. As it is, Logan thinks I've gone from just drinking to drug abuse. I need to be more careful with the stuff I pour over my clothes."_

"_Tora…"_

"_Yes?"_

"_When this is all over… What are you going to do?"_

"_I'm going to get a divorce. I don't care if he's sentenced to death or not, I will not be married to him a second more than I have to. I won't even give him the satisfaction of having a widow. I'll get a divorce, I'll take Jamie and I will go somewhere where no one knows us. Start over afresh. Try and rebuild a life from the few tatters that are left."_

"_Tora…?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Would… Would you mind if I came with you?"_

_She stared at him for a long second before nodding sharply. Then she hurried out of the hidden door, going back to the man she hated above all other things._

xXx

"_Ms Circen, you totally surprised everyone in your film _The Jeanne Problem_. You have had little exposure to the American film market but in France, I hear you're quite famous."_

_She nodded._

"_And what was it like to work with Kurt Wagner? People said you were, and I quote, getting on like a house on fire."_

_She shrugged._

"_I met Kurt for the first time at the audition. He complimented me on the French language version of _Now Where? _and we ended up as friends."_

"_You are notoriously secretive about your private life-"_

"_I don't see why I should take my job home with me. I am uninterested in having my every affair broadcasted to the masses. Famous for being famous is of no interest to me. My work is all that should matter to most people."_

"_And the director? James Howlett? He and Wagner have been compared to Burton and Depp at times. Was he a good director?"_

"_One of the best."_

"_Who else on the cast and crew did you get on with?"_

"_I already knew Jean-Philippe but I definitely got on very well with the producer. Etana has been working in films for years and was very helpful."_

"_Ah. Mr Wagner!"_

_Marie gave a little eye-roll to Kurt who grinned at her. She ignored the interviewer and supressed the urge to strangle the annoying woman._

xXx

_Her body slid through the narrow gap. She stood up at the other side and shouted back through._

"_It's alright! Bit tight at the end but you should be able to get through!"_

_She turned and froze. The Sentinel was standing over her and there was only one thing she could do as the hand was opened and the light started glowing._

"_DON'T COME THROUGH! IT'S A TRAP! IT'S A TRAP!"_

_And then she **burnt**. And metal bones fell to the ground._

xXx

_She stepped forward towards the bank robbers. Her eyes flashed and she saw the fear in their eyes. They knew what Dragon did to those who she caught._

**Die**.

_And they screamed as the waves eroded away flesh and bone. You'd have thought they'd have learnt that crime didn't pay. That the Dragon, the last of the heroes, would not take any quarter. Break the law and you died. That was the agreement. Her silver hair span as she turned, stalking towards the entrance. She still enjoyed the slight thrill of being six and a half feet tall. You had to have been short to appreciate the intimidation that height could give._

_Her eyes flashed as she nodded to the cops, then she took off, flying up and shooting towards her building. The Citadel was beautiful, a pillar of unmeltable ice that she had come to think of as home. Stepping onto the smooth, icy panels, she snapped her fingers, causing the TV to turn on. There was a woman talking, one of those 'where the heroes are now' programs._

"…_Kurt Wagner, former X-Man and now foster-father of his best friend's children. Mr Wagner, why **are** you looking after three young children who are no relation to you?"_

_Kurt looked tired, exhausted and worn, no longer the fuzzy blue elf._

"_Logan was my best friend. He died of adamantium poisoning after…after… you know… Tora…his wife, the Dragon, she…she took it badly, confronted Reed."_

"_You mean she murdered him?"_

_He shook his head violently._

"_It was an accident. I'm sure of it. Tora would never kill anyone."_

"_When she was fleeing authorities, you gained custody of her children. Why did you feel this was the right thing to do?"_

"_I owe both Tora and Logan a great deal. They were two very dear friends."_

"_You have often stated that you believe Tora Logan to be dead. Why?"_

"_Because of the Dragon. Tora was the Dragon and now she isn't. That sort of bond only gets broken by death. Also… When she was on the run, I used to get money wired to my account. The money stops. The Dragon turns up, I get an email –one of those that gets sent if the account isn't accessed within a given timeframe,- that gave me details of her will and bank accounts. Enough to care for her children. For life. Tora was willed a substantial fortune by the Shadow." Kurt's lip trembled slightly. "If she sent every last cent she had to her children's guardian and hasn't tried to make contact with them yet… Then I have to believe she is at peace."_

_Tora watched as the camera panned over her children. They all looked happy and healthy, so she snapped her fingers to turn the sheet of ice off. She knew what she had to._

_Her children were safe. That was all that mattered._

xXx

_She shivered in the cold. Steve had wanted to come here. Since the Skull's death, he'd been revisiting all their old battlegrounds, almost saying goodbye to his foe. Of course, he'd been amazed at the sight of the building and in typical Tora fashion, she'd gone on ahead, knocked out the guards and was now staring at the hammer. It was calling her, begging to be picked up. She reached out warily. The Mjolnir Incident was still fresh in her mind. And then sparks shot towards her hand and too late she felt the tainted spirit inside the weapon but she snarled and sent her Dragon powers back. And they struggled, back and forth, the electricity and the water and she heard the other Avengers arrive but no one could come near the crackling ball of energy as Tora fought the **thing**, the malevolent, **evil** **thing** inside the hammer from taking control. And then she let the water burst out of her and she collapsed but the hammer was smoking, crumbling to dust and she smiled because she had just gone and destroyed an evil Norse spirit and possible saved a number of lives. How wonderful._

_And no one ever knew how close they came to destruction, what would have happened if someone else had found the Hammer of Skadi first. No one but Tora, and she wasn't going to tell anyone._

* * *

><p>"Well, that was some serious reality juxtaposition there."<p>

"Phoenix…?"

"Yes?"

"Don't act knowledgeable on something you know zilch about."


	156. Not Quite Xavier's

**Memories**

Not Quite Xavier's

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"Right, I'm only here as a favour to Dr Pym. I've had enough of teaching powered teenagers for a lifetime. Students of the Avengers Academy, I am Tora Logan, also known as Dragon, Tigress and the Teacher from the Depths of Hell. I am also your Superhuman Culture teacher. Heaven knows why… I make it my mission to ignore most people…"

The students were staring at her in amazement. Reptil raised a hand.

"What does 'Superhuman Culture' entail?"

"Basically, I'm going to explain the difference between mutants, mutates and other types, explain about the mutant sub-culture and the ties linking the different super-hero teams. Be prepared for a headache. What is about to follow is incredibly convoluted, confused, involves time-travel, alternate realities and aliens. This is a family tree that is considered curious even in our line of work. As I mention names, the pictures will come up on the slides. This is Scott Summers, Cyclops. This is his father, who was the captain of a motley crew of space-pirates. This is Scott's younger brother, Havok, who is dating Lorna Dane, Magneto's daughter. We'll go into **his** family tree later. This is Scott's youngest **full** brother, Vulcan, ex-ruler of the Shi'ar empire and general bad guy, as well as Professor X's brother-in-law and his half-brother's… wait, I'm not too sure… He married the aunt of his half-brother. His half-brother's uncle. This is Scott's half-Shi'ar half-brother Adam Nermani. This is Cyclop's first wife, Madelyne Pryor, a clone of Scott's **second **wife, Jean Grey. This is Scott and Madelyne's son, Nathan Christopher Charles Summers/Dayspring/whatever name he goes by. Cable was infected by the techno-organic virus as a baby after his mother –insane after Scott left her for her genetic template- tried to kill him. Cable was sent to the future. On Scott and Jean's wedding night, their minds were sent to the future into cloned bodies to spend twelve years raising Cable and avoiding Cable's evil clone, Stryfe, who was heir to Apocalypse. Have I lost you yet?"

The students were almost all staring open-mouthed at Tora, with the exception of Finesse. Tora nodded and went onto the next slide.

"This is Rachel Summers, Scott and Jean's daughter from an alternate reality and wife of the Franklin Richards of that reality. She is also the matriarch of the Askani, the religious sect that Cable grew up as a part of. This is Nate Grey, the baby of the family and Scott and Jean's son from another alternate reality and a result of genetic engineering as Scott is bad and Jean good in that reality. X-Man and Cable are **not** the same person through alternate realities. Cable is the son of Scott and Madelyne. X-Man is the son of Scott and Jean Grey. This is Hope Summers, the mutant messiah (maybe) and Cable's adoptive daughter and therefore Cyclop's adoptive granddaughter. Right, any questions?"

"Are all super-hero families that confusing?"

"I've not finished. Returning to Havok and Polaris. Ahem. Lorna is the daughter of Magneto. Her maybe sister Zaladane was High Priestess of Garok, an evil god from the Savage Land. Their half-siblings are Anya, who died; Quicksilver, one of your teachers who was married to a member of the Inhuman Royal Family but I think that's just one shade of unreal too far and the Scarlet Witch. The Scarlet Witch married the Vision, had two magical construct sons who died and were reincarnated as two of the Young Avengers, one of whom appears to be in a serious relationship with the heir of the Skrull Empire and also happens to be Captain Marvel's son. The Vision's mind was based on Simon Williams', also known as Wonder Man and the Vision was also Ultron's son. Ultron considers Dr Pym to be his father, thereby the Summers are related not only to the Maximoffs/Lehnsherrs/Eisenhardts but to the Pyms as well."

"Er…"

"I've not finished. Magneto, as a child, was adopted by Etana Bat Aleka, who was the three-thousand year old paternal niece of Nightcrawler, who was the son of Mystique and Azazel, his maternal half-brother was Graydon Creed, the human supremacist; his maternal foster-sister is Rogue whose other mother was Destiny. He also had a huge number of paternal half-siblings I will not go into as right now I'm really beginning to think that offering to do a family tree was an absolutely **terrible** idea. Etana also adopted Logan, the Wolverine. Therefore you also have Daken, his sixty-year-old psychotic son; Romulus, Daken's equally psychotic foster father; Laura Kinney, Logan's female clone and then me. I have three children. One is refreshingly unattached, which is very good seeing as she's only three. Jamie is now apparently engaged to Valeria Richards as she told him he was the only person she'd ever consider marrying. I'm not going into the FF family right now as my head is already ringing. The other son, Curt, is your age, dating a vampire , is heir to an alien empire and the bond-son of the Crown Prince, and has an alien symbiote bonded permanently to him. The symbiote is the clone of Toxin, the son of Carnage, grandson of Venom and therefore has almost all of Spider-Man's memories. Spider-Man has a huge number of clones and right now I'm going off to take an aspirin, have a coffee and ring Havok to tell him he can do his **own** family tree."

Most of the students were staring at her with glazed eyes. Tora grinned.

"And yes, that is the most confusing of the super-hero family you will have to worry about. Well, it **is** most of the major super-heroes now I come to think of it…"

"Please don't go through that again…"

"Yes? Mettle, is it?"

"Yeah. I was just wondering, why do you have Iron Fist's symbol on your chest?"

She groaned.

"For the eighth-**thousandth** time, **he** stole **my** symbol. This is the traditional symbol of the Dragon Song, has been since the beginning of the universe. Iron Fist is called 'Young Dragon'. He defeated a dragon when he was young called Shou-Lao, who had been cursed by the Dragon Song with immortality but a fatal weakness. It was to do with fraudulently taking the identity of the Dragon in an attempt to be worshipped which kind of annoyed the **actual** Dragon and there was some sort of prophecy that the one to kill Shou-Lao would be blessed and that actually happened and Daniel ended up with the symbol of the Dragon burnt into his chest, blah-de-blah-de-blah and we've already had that argument when he tried to sue me for copyright infringement and I ended up suing him back because **he** was the one stealing **my **symbol and by implicating it was the opposite way around he was committing libel. It's all ancient history now."

"So he's wearing your symbol?"

"Well, he earned it. Dragon can't actually **kill** because it's all to do with preservation but it can offer substantial rewards for those who do kill its enemies. Like Iron Fist. He gained the power to wield his chi, as reward for defeating a pretender to the title of the First Dragon, who unfortunately keeps getting reincarnated. It drives Dragon **crazy**. Right, we're way off topic. Onto the different groups of superhumans. I believe that most of you are mutates?"

"Huh?"

"You aren't genetically coded to have your powers. You either gained them through an accident or through chemicals, radiation, so on, so forth. Any gods?"

"Er…No?"

"Good. Right, so all of you are mutates. Maybe. Mutants were maybe the most prevalent of the powered community. Well, until quite recently. Mutants are **born** with their powers, or rather the **potential** to have their powers. We have one extra gene, the X-Gene, on one, or in the case of some second generation mutants, **both**, of our twenty-third chromosomes. We call the first use of powers, which often happens at puberty or times of extreme emotional strain, the manifestation. Mutants are not Homo Sapiens Sapiens. Instead, we are Homo Sapiens Superior. There are other Homo Sapiens subspecies, like Homo Mermanus, the Atlantians. Namor, the Sub-Mariner, goes by the incredibly complicated genus of… wait for it, Homo Mermanus Sapiens Superior. In other words, a human-Atlantian cross-breed who also happens to be a mutant. Homo Inhumanus, or the Inhumans are very interesting. They were simple Cro-Magnon, but the Kree spliced DNA from the Eternals, Homo Aeternus, who were the sucessful result of Celestial genetic manipulation and have been mistaken for gods over the years. The Deviants, Homo Deviare were the failures, which is something I find very sorrowful. An entire race, genetic failures? The Celestials have always been very…controversial. They meddle in the genetics of primitive races without even feeling the need to hide what they are doing. This has led to conflict with the Watchers. Interestingly, both the Watchers and the Celestials take one of the Life Duo as their patron. The Celestials claim that, by moving evolution forward huge bounds, they are helping the Phoenix, preventing stagnation and bringing more self-aware beings –more psionic energy- for it to feed upon. The Watchers revere the Dragon, the preservation of the old and the gathering of knowledge. Which, basically, reveals my entire purpose in life, at least according to the cosmic entity that seems to think it deserves room in my already rather cluttered head and I've gone way too much off topic, haven't I?"

"I think so."

"Right, we'll do the mutant sub-culture in the next lesson. I'm going to continue. Right… Where was I? I'd done the mutates, whose genetic structure was altered by an outside force such as radiation or chemicals; the mutants, born with an extra gene that gives them powers; the other human variations… Ah! Gods! Thor and his kind, as much as they seem to be, are not God with a capital G. Instead they are simply manifestations of the planet's potential biosphere and almost all were born of Gaia, the Mother Goddess. The gods do seem to have great power, but when outside Earth, they command little respect amongst those who do not worship them. The avatars of gods, such as Moon Knight or Juggernaut, who I believe you may have met, are humans who are merely vessels for the power of gods. I also have an arrangement like that, but with a cosmic entity which seems to regard my mind as the place to lie back and put its feet up. Now, on to one of the things I hate most. Magic!"

"Er, why do you hate magic?"

"It defies logic. Magic is basically the use of natural energy fields to mimic other, natural powers such as reality warping, telepathy and element control. Almost all people have at least **some** magical potential. I am, in the words of Dr Strange, quite extraordinary in my complete **lack** of magical ability. I can't even tap into my own, personal life energy."

"Huh?"

"Apparently you'll be having a set of lessons in magic later in your syllabus so I won't go into detail as I'm likely to get much of it wrong. But, all you need to know is that there are two classes of magic wielders. Those who control it and those who are gifted abilities by magic yet cannot use magic themselves. Dr Strange is one of the former, as –in a way- was the Scarlet Witch, only her powers came from her mutant ability and she was only a beginner in actual magical theory. Now… tech based heroes!"

"Excuse me, I don't get half of what you're saying."

"Just take notes and I'll explain it in different lessons. This is just me giving a brief overview."

"We're meant to be taking **notes**? Even on that whole terrible family tree!"

Tora groaned and tried to remember everything she had said.

"I wish this was Xavier's… Right, this is Scott Summers, Cyclops, leader of the X-Men. This is his father…"

* * *

><p>Death burst out laughing at the look on Tora's face.<p>

"How wonderful!"

"Death?"

"Yes?"

"Remind me to find a way to kill you later."

* * *

><p><strong><em>A.N. <em>**_Thanks to the Guest who reviewed Chapter 154. It helps that I know I'm not just shooting this story off into the ether. I may be quite sporadic in updates as I have a family holiday with no Internet, despite me having written up to 160. Hope you're all still there._


	157. True Fear

**Memories**

True Fear

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Logan knew he'd lived too long. Done too much. Never stopped to think about life as it was. How lucky he'd been…

Too late now. He'd been back to prehistory, and now lived in a post-apocalyptic future where humanity had been wiped out. And he was going to die by Phoenix Force. He'd never see Tora again…

When he'd arrived, he'd searched desperately. If anyone could survive, it would be her. When he found the body impaled on the spike, rotten flesh hanging off metal bones, long tangled strands of hair dangling down, he'd almost been able to believe it was some other woman with an adamantium skeleton. But no one could fake the scratches in the metal over the right eye, four parallel marks. Parker had still been with him then, before Logan had retreated into an old shop to fight robots and all Parker had done was touch his shoulder and say in one of the most serious voices Logan had ever heard the Wallcrawler use, "I'm sorry Logan. I'm sorry". But words were useless. Tora was dead here, dead and never knew what had happened to her husband. She'd died alone. He'd found the details following his disappearance. She'd searched desperately. Been the one who tried to prove that they weren't dead. Xixy had left, Curt had followed him. So at least his kid was out there in the stars, living out there in space, never looking back to Earth. He raised the gun and fired.

And when he was coiled in the darkness, it was three voices he heard calling him towards peace. His mother, Etana…and Tora. Then he was pulled back to life, launched through even more crazy adventures, learnt in a small way what the insanity Tora had to put up with was and then arrived back as she was just beginning to start panicking and he hugged her close, still remembering the smell of rotten flesh in the breeze. Because she may be distant and lost in this world, but lost was a damn sight better than dead. And if she died… he didn't want to think about this…

* * *

><p>"How sad."<p>

"Yes, well, I did have fun later on when Mojo tried that stuff on me."

"Oh, what did you do?"

"Left the game then had him arrested for violations of the Temporal Restrictive Act of the Supreme United Council of Planetary Bodies."

"I thought that didn't come into effect for centuries afterwards? Tora was the main pusher of the Act and she wasn't allow in the Supreme Council until Earth had a place."

"It **was** a **Temporal** law."

"Aaahhh…"

* * *

><p>She was clutching her head in agony.<p>

"Tora?"

She looked at Emma, her eyes unfocussed and silvery.

"**We… We have to stop her…**"

"Who?"

"**Sin…Skadi… She is reborn and** **she will bring Fear.**"

"Tora?"

"**The Serpent is coming. Fear the Serpent.**"

"Oh… Oh my…"

Tora's eyes focussed.

"What did I say **this** time?"

"Tora, I've realised… You know that prophecy warning thing?"

"Yes?"

"I've just realised…"

"Yes?"

"We will not let conflict tear us apart. That was the whole SHRA fiasco. We will fight ourselves, man-to-man, that was trying to protect Hope. Utopia will rise, self-explanatory. The darkness will come? You keep going on about the Chaos War. That must be the 'darkness'. Fear the Serpent. You just said that. Fear the Serpent. If this is something on par with the other things, then we need to be ready."

Tora froze.

"Then something is going to happen that will split the X-Men in two."

"What?"

"The next thing is 'United we will survive. We must stand together'. That suggests that we are going to be broken in half."

"After that?"

"Then… Then we're all going to die."

"What?"

"When all is lost, Dragon shall rise higher than ever before."

"Oh…"

And then Tora staggered, clutching her head and screaming in agony. When she looked up, her whole face had changed, becoming thin, wan and inhuman.

"**He has returned! The God of Fear shall walk among us and one of us shall fall! A god or something greater! The Captain must make the choice! His friend or another!**"

And then she fell, her eyes no longer gleaming, the colour sliding back into her face. And Emma trembled deep down, because what was so terrible it made the Dragon itself tremble with fear?

* * *

><p>"Well, it wasn't so much fear as complete, abject terror."<p>

"Yes, well, the Serpent was rather terrifying."

"Excuse me, you didn't seem afraid when you attacked him head-on and almost **died**."

* * *

><p>Tora could barely move. Well, there was a lesson right there. No matter if you were able to beat the Juggernaut normally, one should never attack a Juggernaut possessed by an angry and vengeful Norse spirit. It resulted in being battered and –amazingly- a broken rib cage. She lay on the rubble, waiting for the metal to knit back together –a slow, tedious and painful process- as well as having her lungs heal from the punctures. She jerked her legs, resetting them correctly. Then she lay back and hoped her stupid healing factor would stupid speed up before she had to use stupid Dragon to save the stupid X-Men from stupid Kuurth and she really had to stop thinking everything was stupid stupid and maybe she had managed to get some stupid brain damage as well because her stupid thought processes were like stupid treacle and she really just wanted a stupid coffee with about twelve stupid sugars and three times the usual stupid caffeine content. And stupid double cream instead of stupid skimmed milk. And her stupid chest hurt and the stupid people were <strong>watching<strong> not running like they should and she really was feeling rather woozy…

And just before she stupid blacked out, she felt Dragon rise to the surface. Oh well. Might as well let the stupid reptile deal with this.

_I am **not** a stupid reptile._

_Go 'way. Stupid cosmic entity._

* * *

><p>"I think she missed the point."<p>

"She **deliberately** missed the point Death. Really, I **despair** at times…"

"**You're** one to talk."

* * *

><p>Hope was so afraid. And then Tora, who had been lying twitching on a broken building, rose up, her eyes spitting silver and she wasn't afraid anymore. Because she'd only ever seen this happen three times in her life and each time, everything turned out alright.<p>

Tora's hands –only they weren't Tora's anymore, because Tora was sitting in the backseat- were outstretched and waves shot towards the monster that wore Cain Marko's body and she was screaming curses in two very different languages, Askani and something old, something terrible. Something that Hope remembered a Tora teaching her.

"_This is a tongue so old, Galan feared it before he became Galactus, and to this day, he still fears those who speak it. Learn it, and he will always listen to you. Because the part of him that is still Galan lives in abject terror of the beings who wield the power of the Beforetimes."_

"_And that includes you?"_

"_It includes **Dragon**. I can't actually speak it. Not fluently at any rate. Now, this language was…it was the first language from the universe Galan was born in. But it happened to be the language the cosmic entities spoke. And that resulted in it gaining **power** when it was brought to this multiverse."_

"_What sort of power?"_

"_The sort of power **gods** dream of having…"_

The words shot out, infused with power and Kuurth faltered, cowered and then screamed in agony as the words burnt and tore into the spell that bound the spirit to the hammer. And Dragon- Dragon, not Tora- bore down on him, her face unrecognisable as it warped to fit a being that was more than human.

_**Are you afraid, Little Child? Are you scared of me?**_

There was something terrifying in that voice. So soft and gentle, like the lap of water on the windows of a sinking car. Hope was torn between helping Dragon and running for her life. In the end, helping won through, but only just. There was some primal part of her that was absolutely terrified of this Dragon-in-Tora's-body. Maybe it was the **wrongness** of it, maybe it was just the sheer **power**. So when Hope actually fought, she made sure there was quite a bit of distance between her and Dragon. You know… just in case…

* * *

><p>"Is it bad I can feel lots and lots of rather conflicting emotions from Hope right now?"<p>

"No, that's totally normal human stuff Death."

"Good. I was beginning to get a bit worried about you. You seem to be feeling a lot of emotion and I can't name most of them…"

Phoenix laughed.

"No, she's just really, really weird and emotional. Watch out, she's going to start crying soon. Not at death but probably when Jubilee got fed up of waiting for Curt to propose after they had been dating for almost ten years."

"How do you know about that?"

"I'm sorry, you told me so often when I came back it got frankly boring."


	158. I Want You to Fear Me

**Memories**

I Want You to Fear Me

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Jamie hurried after Val and Franklin, towards the Thing.

"Jay, odds?"

The boy's eyes changed, becoming icy-blue orbs. Then he smiled.

"Pretty good. Most you manage to totally fix him, 'bout twelve percent you heal him but he's still evil, two percent you make him good but he dies and one point six times ten to the minus fifteen percent chance of total failure."

"I like those odds."

And Franklin scanned his Uncle Ben as Valeria leant over to Jamie.

"I love the way you just spit out the statistics like that."

He blushed.

"It's not hard."

She grinned.

"I know it's not. Well, not for me. It's just really impressive that someone else can effortlessly calculate a percentage of infinity. Even my stupid loser brother can't do that."

"Well, it's only sorta infinity. I think Maman has it worse. She's got loads of other realities because she doesn't always marry Dad and have me. So she's got an even bigger infinity."

Franklin grinned then he grabbed his uncle's chest and warped reality. Jamie winced when the light fizzled out.

"Ow. Tell me next time, **idiot**. Remember, my powers are to do with reality as well. Warps hurt like crazy."

"Sorry. Now, what are we to do now?"

"We could go and watch Maman go crazy and beat up people?"

"Jamie, that's you channelling your dad."

* * *

><p>"Oh, I don't know. I always <strong>did<strong> find her fights rather amusing."

"What part?"

"Well, it may be the inventive insults or it may be the fact she was incredibly skilled at getting people in uncomfortable body locks."

* * *

><p>Tora arriving with Logan was one of the best sights Steve could see right now. But he halted when he saw the strapped-up chest and shook his head when she coughed and some blood splattered her hand.<p>

"Go. Home."

"No."

"Tora, you're obviously in no fit state-"

"I'll heal. Look, you're going to need everything you can get and apparently I did a pretty good job of totalling Kuurth."

"What do you mean 'apparently'?"

"Well, I was out of it at the time, wasn't I? Just let Dragon take over, do what it needed to."

"You mean you were unconscious but you still managed to damage one of these guys?"

"Well, yes but…"

"Would you be able to help Thor? He seems to think he's going to die."

"But…"

"Thanks Tora. Tony said he'd be back soon with stuff for us."

"Steve, I need to tell you…"

He slapped her back and muttered 'Sorry' when she winced.

"How did your bones get broken anyway? I thought they were unbreakable."

She stared at him.

"**I** thought proto-adamantium was stronger than adamantium. Anyway, the ratio isn't as high as Logan's. If you were to look at any of my bones except the claws it would be more bone with streaks of metal through them."

He looked upset.

"I loved that shield…"

"Yes, we all know. If we survive, I shall fix it and maybe even meld it with a certain alloy that Dragon has the recipe for which happens to be stronger than your shield."

"You can do that?"

"Yes, but…"

"You better go over. I think Tony's back."

"But…"

"I'll hold the fort."

"But…"

She shook her head slightly. There was no point in trying to talk to Steve right now. He was busy leading the attack. Tora walked to Tony who held out a set of heavy, clunky-looking armour.

"Here."

"Not. A. Chance."

"What?"

"Uru? For Dragon's sake, I could destroy Uru with a **thought**! Give me some credit Tony! All I need is some cosmic fire, like Phoenix fire or-"

A black and silver fireball hit the ground just beside Tora and the ground burst into flames in a neat circle.

"Or fire like that. Thanks again! I owe you one!"

Ice crystallised over her body, creating armour that looked beautiful as well as functional. Iron Man snorted.

"Well, that's only going to work as long as they don't use fire. And they have **flamethrowers**!"

"Give me credit Tony."

She turned and then stepped right into the raging inferno. When she stepped out the ice was now a silvery metal that gleamed. The flames died down to nothing and Tora glanced at the curled claw gloves.

"Excuse me, I'm going to help Thor."

"What! He won't thank you!"

She flipped the visor up and smirked.

"Well, he's not going to complain, is he? I fight, his chance of dying halves."

"What?"

"Look… I gotta go."

And she charged off in the direction of Thor. Everyone faltered as the Serpent changed from man to monster and Mjolnir fell to the ground. And when Thor was caught in the claws another voice rang out.

_**HALT!**_

And Tora's eyes were gleaming through the helmet as she ran, her body elongating, graceful wings bursting out of her back, silver armour changing to gleaming bluish-silver scales and then two huge winged reptiles were staring at each other. And the Serpent laughed.

"**You will have to do more than pitiful imitations of beings of power to impress me.**"

And Tora's voice was heard by everyone on the field, as beautiful and as terrible as the **thing** she had become.

_**I am no imitation. I am the World Healer. I am the Calm Bringer. I. Am. The. LIBRARIAN!**_

Someone muttered under their breath 'What's so impressive about a librarian?' But Tora continued.

_**I am the Librarian of All, the Archivist of Reality, She Who Rides the Waves of Time Themselves. Fear me little Serpent. God of Fear; Fear the Dragon.**_

"Okay, that's impressive."

But the Serpent was laughing. At least he was until the Tora-Dragon slammed right into him, long silver claws raking huge gouges down his chest. The green Serpent screamed and Thor shouted something that was lost in the haze. But the Avengers and Worthy were now fighting so no one saw the cruel fangs dig right into the elongated neck. And Tora's tail thrashed as she was dragged upwards, forced to beat her wings to keep up whilst being pushed into her darkest fears.

_She was staring at the bodies surrounding her. The Avengers, the FF, the X-Men. And at the top of the pile, Logan and the children. And without knowing how she knew, Tora understood that these were her victims, that she had lost control and killed all she held dear and she screamed as she stabbed herself again and again in the stomach with her claws but she **wouldn't die** and she wanted so much to die and all she could think over and over and over and over again was 'please please please please please please let me die…' And then something soft and warm and comforting surrounded her, inky black wings enfolding Tora's human form and there was no more fear._

"_Be brave my friend. You are almost there."_

_And another voice, so dear to her called out._

"_Tora! You can do this! For the X-Men! Come on Tora! You never gave up on me and I'm not giving up on you!"_

"_Kurt!"_

_And another voice, a child's voice, one she hadn't heard in far too long._

"_Xii!"_

"_EVA!"_

"_Conquer your fear! You were always the brave one! Be brave, not just for me! Be brave for the world! Beat this, like you beat everything they threw at you!"_

_And Tora stood up and didn't turn to face the voices because she knew that if she turned they would be gone_. And then she started laughing, so softly at first.

The Serpent recoiled.

"**How?**"

_**Because true courage is not never feeling fear. Because courage is CONQUERING fear! And I have been conquering my fears since I was a child! You cannot touch me, Cul Borson! You cannot touch me because I AM NOT AFRAID! THOR! NOW!**_

And she broke away and now the Serpent was the one with his neck between her teeth as she pushed his head back and Thor drove the sword through the Serpent's mouth which was open and screaming in pain. And Tora howled as well as the Odinsword pierced her neck and the massive wings ceased beating and she fell, tumbling over and over with the Serpent and Thor falling with her, and they crashed to the ground and she felt her wings and massive form melting away until she was just Tora again and she lay there, so cold, oh so cold. And Thor, crawling towards her, trying to speak and then a beautiful, silver light, a dark face wreathed by flickering silver flames for hair and Tora knew that she was staring Death right in the face and she smiled.

"Th…Thank you…"

_Hush my dear. Hush my dear. This is not over yet._

* * *

><p>Phoenix's eyes were wide as she stared at the pool.<p>

"Oh, you can't cut it off there!"

"Yes I can."

"WHY!?"

"Because I'm evil and totally enjoy causing you torment?"

Death laughed and punched the masked woman on the shoulder.

"You know, I used to think you were a stuck-up goody-goody. You're growing on me!"


	159. Gods or Dragons

**Memories**

Gods or Dragons

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Steve staggered into the clearing and froze. Odin was cradling Thor to him and Logan had Tora's head in his lap, his chest stained with blood from terrible neck wounds. And then a fire flared up and a person he knew very well stepped out.

"TANA!"

She **looked** at him and he recoiled, knowing that wasn't Etana, it was something else. She was dressed in a loose white chiton with a curved sword held in one hand and her eyes were burning. She turned and her hair, which had been floating as if she were underwater, burst into flames.

_Well… Er… This is a bit embarrassing really_…__

Odin looked up, his one eye looking hopeless.

"You have come for him then?"

_Well, you see, that's the problem._

"What?"

_I'm here for one soul and one soul only. Unfortunately, it wasn't specified which one. And because this idiot here, _a sandaled foot nudged Tora's left hand, _decided to mess around with fate and so on, I'm not too sure which one to take._

Steve stared for a long moment before breaking the silence.

"Huh?"

He could have sworn she rolled her eyes at him.

_Hello everybody. I am the Malach Hamavet, the Angel of Dying Nicely, by which I mean if you aren't afraid to die, if dying is a relief from pain or you die in noble sacrifice. You may have known me as Etana, the Shadow, the Darkwing or that annoyingly creepy precognitive mutant who hangs about with the X-Men and looks like the child of Nightcrawler and Angel. I sort of died but didn't because I'm an angel –a real angel, not a mutant who looks like an angel- and my human bit is right now bored stiff and has started a Tiddlywink contest in the Afterlife. Apparently she got fed up of winning chess all the time. And this doesn't solve my problem. Because right now, it looks like either of them could be the one to come with me and say 'Goodbye cruel world' but on the other hand they could equally well make a miraculous recovery._

Odin's eye widened.

"Take the Dragon!"

And Logan's lips slid up in a snarl.

"You ain't got a right to let her die! Goldilocks knew what he was doing! He's the one who's supposed to die!"

"You dare confront me!"

"When my wife's life hangs in the balance, YES!"

Steve blinked.

"Why can't you just –I don't know –ask them?"

_I already tried that. They both insisted on saving the other. I think they're still fighting. Yep, Tora's just slung a right hook at Thor. They're not going to be much use for this._

"Can't you just pick one?"

_And that's the rub. I'm not allowed. My job is simply to show up and usher them on. I can't pick and choose. That's a mortal's job. Odin cannot and in the interests of fairness, neither can Logan._

"What's so difficult that you can't choose?"

_According to the prophecy, Thor should be the one to die. However, the Dragon took the brunt of the attack, and in most cases, a god's life is considered about equal to a cosmic entity's avatar. The books will balance either way._

"Oh…"

_Look, it's incredibly complicated and involves the cosmic entity version of chaos theory. Even **I** don't get it, and I'm the one who does all the hourglass calculations._

"You have **hourglasses**?"

_Oh yes. Here are the two and now you see my problem._

He did. The sand in both was totally stationary. However, the one with the silvery-grey sand had a gaping hole in one side and in the other, the sand looked like it was about to run out.

"Ah…"

_Yes, ah. Now… er… I don't suppose you could be the mortal adjudicator? Because right now you're the only one not taking a side on who should be allowed to live and you'd probably be the most thoughtful. Unlike Iron Man, who is yelling at Logan that Thor is a GOD and he is by definition much more powerful and Wolverine is yelling some rather rude stuff right back._

Steve turned and sighed. Half the main Avengers team had taken the Asgardian's side. The other half of the team –mainly those closest to Wolverine; the New Avengers and almost all the Secret Avengers were taking Tora's side. The Asgardian group were arguing that by interfering, Tora had changed the prophecy enough to allow Thor to survive, therefore she should be the one to die. The group crowded around Logan were arguing that the prophecy stated **Thor **was the one who should die and trying to shift the consequences onto someone who **helped** him wasn't what Thor would want. He looked back at the angel.

"What's the likelihood of them coming back?"

_Ah, ah, ah. **That** would be both telling and cheating. You have to decide based on the past and the present, not the future._

"Why me?"

_Because about now you're the only one with half an ounce of sense._

"I…I can't do it…"

She rolled her eyes. At least Steve **thought** she rolled her eyes. Only Etana was capable of rolling eyeballs made of fire.

_Oi! You! With the beard and the bald head! Yes, you! I have an important moral question!_

"You can't hassle civilians! You can't ask them to make that choice!"

_You aren't. And maybe he can offer unbiased judgement._

The man –Rick, a small part of Steve's mind supplied- looked terrified.

_I have a question for you. Thor was fated to die this day, defeating the Serpent. But the Dragon intervened in the hope of saving him and in payment was mortally wounded. Now both lives lie in the balance. Tell me, who do you think should die?_

"Er… Did Thor **ask** to be helped?"

_No. He believed his fate was to die an honourable warrior's death._

"And…er…did Dragon know she could die."

_I rather believe she was **counting** on it._

"Why?"

_She has lost too much. She has lost the will to live, but her leaving will cause much pain._

"What… What family do they have?"

And the angel smiled softly.

_Only one like you could answer a question like that. The heroes would base on their friendships, their strengths and weaknesses but you choose…family._

"Tell me."

_Thor's family is here. The Asgardians. Dragon… Only her husband is here today. I believe her eldest son is in New York and her twins are in San Francisco, all unaware of what could happen._

"She has kids?"

_Three by blood, one who I believe counts as 'stepdaughter' but sees her as a mother figure and another, unrelated girl, who also sees her as a mother figure._

"And Thor?"

_No children._

"Then… I think… I… I can't do this…"

She shrugged.

_I never expected you to. I merely wanted an unbiased series of questions._

And the angel turned back to Steve.

_The choice is yours Captain. Make. Your. Choice._

And Steve gulped as everyone went silent.

"I… I know who should be the one to go on…"

* * *

><p>The water faded out and Phoenix glared at the masked woman.<p>

"I. Hate. You."

"Sorry, I need to go and check the Stores. Do be a dear and don't start without me."

She rose gracefully and walked out of the room

"She's doing that **deliberately**!"

Death grinned.

"Oh, she's **brilliant**, isn't she?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>I am very happy for 4 reasons. One, my mum watched Daredevil and actually **liked** a superhero film; two, I finally got around to watching Iron Man 2; three, I'm watching Thor today and four, I GOT MY RESULTS AND THEY WEREN'T TERRIBLE! If my brother is reading this, thank you very much for waking me up before the alarm so I could read my text. You're a wee star!_


	160. Fearing Love

**Memories**

Fearing Love

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Tora lay in the empty room, the terrible neck wounds stitched and the blood from both those and the smaller injuries cleaned away. Her eyes were closed and there was an oddly serene expression on a face that most often displayed worry, exhaustion or just plain exasperation. The door creaked open and Logan came in, checked the various displays and then gently pushed a strand of hair away from her eyes.

"Come on. You can do it. All you have to do is wake up."

She didn't respond and he sighed. Everyone had watched Steve in silence as the man had gulped. Then he'd spoken.

"_You're asking me to choose between the one fated to die and the one who **wants** to die. But…Tora has family, young children…It would be wrong to take their mother from them. And Thor never asked for her help. She gave it freely, knowing what the consequences would be. I… I think Thor should be the one to… I…"_

And the angel had nodded, glanced at Logan and sent a message. _You better get her to a medic else I might have to come back._ Then she had faded away and Odin had clutched Thor closer, and Logan suddenly had Spider-Man and the Black Widow helping him carry Tora back towards the ambulances. The drive to Beast's lab had been terrifying. The terrible wounds wouldn't heal and Logan more than once thought that she had died. The thought had terrified him more than he thought possible. And one thing had rolled around and around his head, over and over again. When facing one of the idiots with the hammers, they'd said something. Something that tore right through him.

"_How delicious. The one you fear above all is the one you love more than anything. How truly **wonderful**."_

And he hadn't the courage to deny it.

* * *

><p>"Sweetie, what did he see?"<p>

The masked woman shook her head.

"There is no need to see what he saw."

"Is there something you're hiding from us?"

"Nothing at all. I just find it rather humiliating."

* * *

><p>Voices. Low and muffled, speaking in that urgent tone she'd come to recognise as "Tora's almost killed herself again, we need to do <strong>something<strong> about it" voices. Her sense of smell flared next and her nose twitched in irritation as the stark smell of cleansing chemicals decided to shoot up her nostrils. Sniffing surreptitiously, she could smell… Hank, no surprises there… Steve, probably wanted to make sure she was okay… Scott, again, no surprise… Logan, well that was a relief… Wait, was that… **Balder**?

Her eyes snapped wide open and she let out a slight yelp at the harsh white theatre lights. Logan was suddenly beside her, hands covering her eyes, protecting them from the light.

"There's someone here who wants to talk to you."

"Bal…der…"

"Don't try and speak. You ripped up your throat pretty bad, what with all the clawing and apparently your screaming didn't help. Look, he wants to speak to you."

She blinked once, telling him it was fine. She heard the man's footsteps but when she tried to move her head, she found to her horror she had it held in position. Beast seemed to understand.

"We aren't sure how badly you're injured. We had to put your head in a neck brace, just in case any damage had occurred. Congratulations Tora, you successfully managed to have almost every single vertebrae splintered almost beyond repair, despite having adamantium bones. It was only your healing factor that saved you and for a while we weren't certain if it was working."

"Bal…"

"Hey, I think she wants to talk to you."

"Greetings, my lady."

"Th… Th…or…"

"Dead. He died the heroes death he wished for. Thank you my lady. Thank you for offering him a chance he didn't have."

"How…?"

"I… I wanted to…to say thank you… For helping my brother… For…"

Her hand reached out and grabbed his. She might not be able to move her head, but she **was** capable of comforting the stricken god. She touched Dragon and used it to send a few tiny healing bursts into the man's hand. Apparently Dragon could help heal emotional wounds as well, although without the effectiveness of physical injuries. All Tora was able to do was put in the idea that Thor knew the risks, and that Balder shouldn't be sad. It wasn't much but in many cases, it would help people follow the road for healing.

"I… Why…?"

Interesting. He could sense it. She sent a few more pulses, filled with peace and calm and tinged with sorrow, but also happiness, memories, jokes she had made at Thor's expense and his comments back. The Asgardian stepped backwards, his hand slipping out of hers.

"I thank you once more. You have a friend in the Æsir."

She blinked but she could already hear him walking out. Then a blue furry face swam in front of her eyes.

"The healing process goes quicker when you're under. I'm going to anesthetise you."

"Thor… fune…"

"You missed it. And Bucky's as well. You've been out for a while. Don't worry. We're doing everything to speed up the healing process."

She tried to speak, tell him that she healed better when conscious, that it might hurt more but she could direct the healing to the areas that needed it… But her eyes felt heavy and she slid back into the peaceful oblivion of sleep.

* * *

><p>"Ow. That's impressive, damaging her enough to almost kill her."<p>

"Oh, she did it all the time. Pushed herself too hard and spent a few days –or quite a few in this case- hovering between life and death."

* * *

><p>She was still limping and Beast didn't know she had 'discharged' herself, but she wanted to get home. Her chest was still strapped up, her neck still in a brace and she ached all over. The curse of having so-called 'unbreakable' bones –could she sue the makers of the adamantium for false claims? Probably not… The curse of unbreakable bones was that when they<strong> did<strong> get broken, they took forever to heal. She could **feel** her ribs grating against each other and a part of her scolded the rest for her foolishness and told her she should be lying down, recovering. But she ignored that, as she always did.

A girl up ahead turned to her and then Hope suddenly flung her arms around Tora, who hid her pain in an exhalation of breath.

"Careful Hope. I don't want to have to go back to that room."

The girl grinned at her then hugged her again.

"I…They wouldn't tell us… We all thought you were dead…"

"It'll take more than a pompous Asgardian to kill me. Although he got pretty close…"

She let Hope walk with her, leaning slightly on the girl. Her ribs were aching again. Hope was chattering in the most normal way Tora had ever seen. There was no wariness or fear there. And Tora suddenly blinked.

"You said you had three years of normality. Explain."

"Well, we turn up and the jump was a bit difficult and then we land and you're dancing around this big computer and lock off the reality, meaning while we can't get out until you turned it off, no one could get in and because you lived in an almost inaccessible mountaintop we were safe. And then Cable finds these photos and goes bright red because it turns out that that you was married to that him and well Cable sort of felt really rather awkward and… I think you'd sort of been growing on him over the years because you were the only person he felt he could trust… And you ended up married or something and I think it was probably the 'or something'. And you used to be so sweet together, like you'd fight over who'd get to eat the last packet of sushi and I got this feeling that this was how a normal family operated. Only not having shooting matches over the last packet of sushi…"

Tora smiled slightly.

"I better send out a message to twelve-oh-nine. Tell her to start building a reality-lock."

"How do you know it's that reality?"

"Because that's the only reality where I'm in a relationship with Cable. See, lovely and simple. Rather unique as well. I apparently tend more towards relationships with Logan or Kurt… At least that's the majority…"

Hope gulped.

"Did… Did I ever… Did I ever say sorry…?"

"It wasn't your fault."

"Why do you close off when someone talks about that?"

Tora's head dropped slightly.

"Because since then I haven't felt whole… It's like something precious has gone. It's like the Sun has gone out. I can't see which way I'm meant to go anymore…"

"I…"

"He would have known what to do. Kurt would have known how to bring hope to us when we were afraid… He never gave up on us… He was always there to see the best in us all…"

And she moved away from Hope, limping fast away from her.

"Where are you going?!"

"I have a date with a girl in a tree."

* * *

><p>"Didn't…"<p>

"Don't spoil it Phoenix."

"Sorry…"


	161. Girls in Trees

**Memories**

Girls in Trees

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"Hello Cia."

The eyes made of wood blinked once and Tora nodded.

"I thought so. You're still in there somewhere, aren't you?"

The leaves rustled to sound like _yes_. Tora sighed.

"Obviously speech is a little too advanced right now. How is it in there?"

The eyes blinked a few times.

"Boring? Once for yes. Twice for no."

One blink. Tora rested her hand just under the face.

"How long have you been aware?"

Six blinks.

"Six weeks?"

Two blinks.

"Six **days**? Well I suppose that's good. If you can control your eyes this early it stands in good stead that you'll be able to talk. Do you think you could leave the tree?"

Two blinks.

"Why not? Injuries too severe?"

One blink.

"You think you'd die if you left the tree?"

Two blinks.

"Oh. You **know** you'd die if you left the tree?"

One blink.

"How are you holding up?"

Eyes rolled slightly.

"Not very well?"

One blink and Tora sighed.

"We need a more effective method of communicating… Can you still feel the other plants?"

One blink and suddenly the whole forest was twitching, branches swaying in a non-existent breeze. Tora grinned.

"Well, there's our early warning system…"

The trees seemed to be laughing.

* * *

><p>"Ah… That's why she liked talking to the tree. The tree talked back."<p>

"That's nothing. She had the tree uprooted and transported all the way to Westchester. Right in the middle of a forest so the girl would have someone else to talk to."

"Really?"

"And then Cia ended up engaged to Krakoa Junior and had lots of sentient mutant trees."

"DEATH!"

* * *

><p>Tora was walking back down the path when she stopped.<p>

"Hi Betsy."

The British woman dropped down from the trees.

"How did you… Never mind Tora. Seriously, that creeps people out when you know where they are without looking. Are you pulling a Daredevil on us?"

"No. Although Matt's a good guy. We normally end up playing random card games at the end of missions because he can't watch the movie."

"The New Avengers have a post-mission movie?"

"Well, we have some even weirder post-mission celebrations."

"Like?"

"Like our habit of always trying to get the person we felt did the least and sticking a bucket of paint somewhere that will get them."

"I'm sorry, that was **you**?! We all thought that was Jubilee or Bobby!"

"Guilty as charged."

"No **way** did you get that bucket of purple paint right over the door which got me…"

"It wasn't **just** me…"

"Oh… Sorry…"

They walked in silence. Betsy sighed.

"At times I wish I were Brian. Does that sound really callous? It's just he's always had the world perfect for him. He doesn't even understand the problems we face at times, despite Jamie being a mutant too and supposedly some of Brian's best friends being mutants. He didn't even come to his **funeral**…"

"Please, can we not talk about that."

"I'm sorry."

"Look at us Betsy. Are we even the X-Men anymore?"

"Tora…?"

"What happened to the dream? What happened to our promises to each other? When did we become an army instead of a family?"

Betsy tried to speak but Tora was already limping away.

* * *

><p>"She knew, didn't she? She knew…"<p>

"She was gifted with the uncanny ability to know stuff like that."

* * *

><p>Wasp smiled at Tora.<p>

"You managed to impress the students on your mutant sub-culture lessons. And thank you for arranging this trip…"

"No, it's needed. I'm sending Hazmat to meet Rogue and I think Mettle needs to talk to Santo and really, they can all do with learning about the Weapon X Program…"

"Is that really wise…?"

"Wasp, they were tortured by Osborn. The least I can do is show that they aren't alone. That they aren't the only one who had to go through agony and pain. I'm going to speak to them about it, and I've sort of blackmailed Logan into it and Curt has agreed in exchange for three days of unregulated sugar intake."

"And…?"

"I'll be more than willing to continue teaching the students. I've missed teaching…"

Then the plane touched down and she got up, facing the students.

"This is Utopia. No anti-mutant bigotry, for your sakes. Be polite, don't start fights and whatever you do, avoid the guy in the white hat with a mask. He's a bit tetchy."

She ushered them out of the plane and onto the island. And was already planning to go to Nemesis for some headache medicine. The Avenger's Academy field trips had a habit of getting out of hand.

* * *

><p>"She let some superpowered teenagers loose on Utopia?"<p>

"Phoenix, most of the teenagers of Utopia were super-powered."

"Oh. Yeah."

"Didn't she end up helping the Young Avengers?"

"Do you want me to skip ahead a week? Nothing interesting happened just then."

"Please."

The masked woman in black waved a hand and the waves swirled before reforming a new picture.

* * *

><p>The right hook sent Logan reeling. He staggered backwards, expecting to see Erik, or maybe Hulkling. He didn't expect to see Tora, eyes unreadable as she stepped backwards, in line with Magneto and the Young Avengers.<p>

"Tora…?"

And then her eyes brimmed with tears.

"None of you knew, did you? You didn't know what Wanda meant…means to me. She was the only one who understood the pain of losing a child… I could have **saved** her Logan. I could have saved us all. And you didn't let me. I'm sorry."

And the lightning flashed down as an orange and black streak shot towards them…

Halfway around the world, Tora, Magneto and Wiccan were the only ones still standing. Curt sat up, coughing.

"Way cool…"

Wiccan was staring at her wide-eyed.

"Did you just betray your husband to help us?"

She nodded slightly, her eyes pensive.

"I used to meet up with Wanda every other day. When I… When I'd lost my son… Wanda understood my pain. We helped each other. I owe her more than anyone knew…"

"Excuse me, are we fugitives from the Avengers with a mutant ex-terrorist?"

Tora shook her head.

"No. Because right now, I **am** the Avengers to you and I say, let's go save the Scarlet Witch."

Curt stuck his hand up.

"Can I help in any way? I really want to join the Young Avengers!"

Kate grinned.

"Well, we've been talking about getting a Spider-Man or Wolverine Junior in. We were originally thinking Spider-Girl but she's more in line with Spider-Woman, isn't she?"

"Er…"

"Right, entry question. Do you suffer teenage angst?"

"Er… My girlfriend's a teetotal-vampire, except when drinking my mom's blood and who used to have a crush on my dad; I'm a depowered mutant; I look like I'm eighteen when I'm actually three; my mother may or may not have some sort of 'totally platonic' creepy soul-bonding thing with my dad's dead best friend; I'm Bond-Prince of the K'Meeri Empire; my dad is probably going to kill me for helping you lot; my uncle by adoption is Magneto; my adoptive gran is not only the Angel of Death but also Captain America's lost love; my little/big brother is engaged to Valeria Richards **apparently**; I'm clinically insane and the alien symbiote I'm bonded to is also insane. Oh, and my mother also has a creepy Dragon sitting in her head. That good enough?"

"I think he meets the entrance requirements. Actually, you go way above any layer of weirdness we've had so far. And that included the Tommy, Billy 'we're the reincarnated twin sons of a robot and a mutant witch'. Welcome to the Young Avengers Poison. Hope you survive."

Curt bounced around, cheering. Wiccan shuffled over to Tora.

"Are you really as powerful as they say you are?"

She glanced at him.

"Well, what do they say?"

"That you almost single-handedly saw off the Skrull invasion. That you faced the Dark Avengers alone and won."

She leant in and whispered something in his ear.

"Put it this way. Only one person has been able to do something I couldn't fix, and that was your mother."

"So… Am I? Her son?"

"Yes. And Speed's your twin."

"That's…kinda freaky…"

* * *

><p>"How did she know?"<p>

"She was very conscious of family."

"Wait, what!"

"She could smell family and Dragon allowed her to sense souls."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N.<strong> Yes, Children's Crusade will play an important part in Tora's future. Let's say, while this goes quite close to the actual story; other, future events won't. Also, this is my big exam year. Therefore, any updates will be irregular and written in the few spare minutes I have.  
><em>


	162. Crusading Dragon

**Memories**

Crusading Dragon

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"Oh for Pete's sake!"

Hulking turned from his rant at Quicksilver to see Dragon with Poison standing looking rather shame-faced behind her.

"Pietro, you should flipping well know better! And Wiccan! What was that!? Let me tell you, Doom is not the sort a semi-trained young sorcerer should go up against, no matter **who** his mother and grandfather happen to be! And Hulking, be a little nicer to this family, they've gone through a lot and they have to put up with the Eisenhardt eyebrows."

"What?"

"The Eisenhardt eyebrows. Quicksilver has one of the best examples I believe. Basically, anyone with eyebrows like that is at least partially related to Magneto."

Both Speed and Wiccan suddenly found people staring just above their eyes.

"Tommy's got them and Billy sorta has them…"

"Right, now you've scrutinised your teammates' eyebrows, can we go to bed? You lot will need a lot of sleep as right now I'm planning our attack method and researching secret tunnels. Shoo! To bed! I have work to do and waiting up for you lot isn't helping!"

The Young Avengers had suddenly discovered why the Young X-Men feared Dragon's authoritative teacher voice. You were too scared to disobey so they shot back into the house. Tora caught Wiccan's arm as he went passed and gently tugged him in to whisper something in his ear.

"Tonight. Outside. Half eleven. I'll be waiting. I know Doom's castle pretty well."

And she released his arm and sauntered back into the house, leaving Wiccan blinking in the night.

* * *

><p>"She <strong>didn't<strong>…"

"She did."

"TORA!"

* * *

><p>Wiccan's eyes adjusted in the dark and he saw the shape standing close to a tree. He hurried over and Tora nodded.<p>

"Why do you want to help me?"

"Because I don't trust some of the people here."

"Magneto?"

"No."

"Quicksilver?"

"No. I don't trust Patriot. He's too loyal to the Avengers. And loyalty may be a wonderful thing, but misplaced loyalty is exceptionally dangerous."

"Why are you helping us? Isn't your loyalty misplaced?"

"Let me tell you the Avenger's darkest secret. Walk with me."

They walked away from the building and Tora sighed before beginning.

"We had met, the Avengers, the X-Men, the Fantastic Four. The Big Three, they called us. The three teams who saved the world. And that gave them the **arrogance** think we had the **right** to decide on Wanda's fate. Whether she should die for destroying the Avengers. I…I argued against. I said that it was a bad idea. I said, send me. Wanda trusts me, I can heal her. And they refused. I left, preparing to go to Genosha myself, ahead of the execution party. Because that's what it was. They had decided she was too dangerous to live and must be killed. And they trapped me, tricked me into entering a room with an inhibitor field… I couldn't get out, not when I was unable to heal. The adamantium… it would kill me unless I healed… I was suffering from adamantium poisoning when Curtis got me out… I was trying to get to the Blackbird hanger when the reality warp happened. I was too late. I could have stopped it, if only they had let me…"

Wiccan was staring at her.

"They… They stopped you? Why?"

"Because… Because they were scared. They feared Wanda, and what she could do and in a way they were afraid of me and whether **I** could deliver what I promised. And what it would mean to them if I could. You have to understand, Doctor Strange **and** Professor X had failed terribly to try and keep Wanda sane. If I was able to snap her back to reality, what did that say of me?"

"That you're a really good person?"

"No. Well, maybe. But what it said to them was that I was putting myself above one of the top psychics in the world, capable of linking together the whole of humanity; as well as above the Sorcerer Supreme of Earth. I was **too** powerful."

"Just like the Scarlet Witch…"

"Just like the Scarlet Witch."

She stared off into the distance and Wiccan could see she was deep in thought.

"What was she like?"

"Pardon?"

"What was the Scarlet Witch like?"

"Wanda? Oh, Wanda… She was so contradictory. You always had to be fully aware when talking to her. One moment she'd be rather shy and nervous, looking to Pietro to protect her; the next she'd be this cheeky, funny, vibrant character. She wasn't mad, no matter what people said. No, she was just…Wanda… You could always rely on her to be there, although you'd never know how powerful she'd be until she started flinging hexes. Sometimes she could barely move stuff. Other days she could move mountains. Literally…"

She smiled softly.

"Wanda was a good friend. She… she was expecting Tommy and Billy, the first ones, about the same time I was going to have Jamie and we were both bored **stiff**. Seriously, never let Beast be you obstetrician. He smothers you."

"Er… I don't… Thanks for the advice."

"And we were both so bored we ended up escaping together. I cared deeply for Wanda. I would die for her without a second thought and I know she would do the same for me."

Wiccan stared up and suddenly Tora grabbed his shoulders and pulled him around.

"What are you prepared to sacrifice for her? Answer me!"

"I…I want to… I… I will sacrifice what she is worth and no more."

Tora nodded.

"A good answer. But how will you know what she is worth?"

"When it comes to that… I'll know."

She sighed.

"Such burdens we place on you for our own failings. Shall we?"

He caught her hand and closed his eyes.

"_IwanttogotoLatveria, IwanttogotoLatveria, IwanttogotoLatveria._"

They arrived, froze at the Doombots then Wiccan took command.

"Excuse me, can you direct me back to my room? I seem to have gotten lost. And my friend here doesn't know her way around."

Tora followed him, cursing under her breath as she tripped over the skirts of a Latverian peasant.

"I hate you for this."

They stepped into a room, exchanged nervous glances then the spell dissipated. Then Wiccan fell from a square right hook and then Tora was standing staring at the woman who was pinning the boy down.

"Wanda…?"

"Who are you? And what are you doing in my room?"

Tora was standing stock still, eyes fixed on Wanda's face.

"Wanda… You're alive… At times I didn't think… Please… Oh, **Wanda**…"

"Who are you, why are you in my room and why are you both dressed like that."

Wiccan gulped.

"Well…aside from the fact that you just knocked me flying with a pretty impressive right hook and she's just standing there looking slightly horrified… We're actually superheroes. Well, she is. I'm just in training."

"Really?"

"And we're sort of here to rescue you and your brother is probably going to kill us for leaving him behind and I feel like a real idiot."

"I'm sorry, I don't understand. My name is Wanda Maximoff and I haven't got any idea why you're here."

"But…"

"She's telling the truth Wiccan. She's amnesiac. I can sense that."

"Oh… Well, we're still here to rescue you."

"Well…I'm not really wanting to be rescued. You see, I'm getting married in the morning."

Tora stiffened and Wiccan gulped before asking "To who?"

"To me."

Tora turned and claws chikted out.

"Victor."

"Tora."

"Are you going to tell me your plan first, or shall we just throw energy at each other for a while until one of us proves to be the strongest? And then you either drag me of to your dungeon or cheat, knock me out with some electric charge and drag me of to you dungeon from which I will almost certainly break out of, come after you and probably smash your head through a wall. Or two."

"My dear Tora, I must ask **why** we always end up meeting like this. You are a **charming** woman, a true jewel of mutantkind. Why do we always end up fighting?"

"Because you're an egomaniac dictator who tried to kill my son when he was less than six months old."

"Tora, Tora, Tora. That was **years** ago…"

"I don't forget easily. You'd do well to remember that **Doom**."

"Nor, it seems, do you forgive. Now my dear, why are you here?"

"Well… I could have just turned up for the wedding of one of my dearest friends but actually I'm here to rescue my friend from you and quite possibly hurt you grievously in the process."

She span around, a ball of water growing between her hands as she prepared to throw it at Wanda but Doom was too quick. A single blast of magic caused her to freeze.

"Now my dear, unless you want me to trap you in the same way I once trapped Storm, then do not try and break the spell."

Tora's eyes flashed angrily for a second but she didn't struggle, an oddly defeated look in her eyes as she revolved in the air.

"Now. Wiccan, is it?"

The fight was short, brutal and had no real question about the victor. Doom stepped back and stared at Tora who was turning towards him again.

"If you promise to move quietly, I will release the spell. But rest assured, if you fight, both you and the sorcerer child shall spend the rest of eternity as statues."

She didn't move and the spell was released. Her eyes darted up.

"They're coming for her, you know? My husband in particular. He'll find her and kill her and I'm the only one who can stop him."

"Really? You forget I once halted your husband with a touch. Stand."

She was jerked upright by the spell and then Doom shook his head.

"Actually, I need you out of the way until tomorrow morning. Sleep."

Her eyes rolled up in her head and she fell back down, the discord of metal bones sounding heavily on the floor.

"Wiccan on the other hand…"

* * *

><p>"Should I be worried?"<p>

"Oh yes. Be afraid. Be **very** afraid."


	163. Marital Discord

**Memories**

Marital Discord

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Curt stood with the Young Avengers and Magneto.

"Look, Maman will be **fine**. She beats Dr Doom **loads**."

"Yes. When she's with the X-Men. It's **suicide** to take on Doom alone."

"Apparently Maman spat in his eye once."

Everyone turned to look at him.

"Really? She was that **stupid**?"

Magneto shrugged.

"We're talking about a woman who once told me that my costume made me look like a, and I quote here, 'an escapee from an Ancient Greek freak show'. No one is above her contempt."

Speed grinned.

"Your mom is **awesome**."

* * *

><p>"Well, nice to know she was considered a role model to the younger generations."<p>

* * *

><p>Wiccan groaned as he touched his head.<p>

"Oww…"

"Be **still** boy."

"What are you **doing** to me?"

"**Healing **you."

"No offence, but I'd much rather have Dragon heal me…"

"I have no grudge against you Wiccan. Or against Dragon, despite our rather…confrontational past. You both want what's best for Wanda. Tora is safe, alive and awake. She will be my next visit. Normally I would have had her locked away safely but she revealed a little too much when you were unconscious. Did she turn against Wolverine to help you on your search?"

"She…she hit him, then attacked Ms Marvel and then yelled at me to get us all out of there as fast as possible? Why don't you want the Scarlet Witch to get her memories back?"

"Because her mind has suppressed her memories **and **her powers to allow itself to heal."

"How did you find her?"

"I didn't. She found **me**."

* * *

><p>"Wait, Doom actually didn't try and kill Tora?"<p>

"Yes, it was rather surprising."

* * *

><p>"Dragon."<p>

Tora stood up.

"Explain. Everything."

"My, my. You aren't wasting words today."

"Explain everything to me Doom. Prove you haven't done something to Wanda and I won't hurt you."

"Such…protectiveness. But you were never on the same team. Why the sudden kinship?"

"Because I need Wanda more than you know. Where's Wiccan?"

"Safe and in one of the guest rooms, albeit locked in, for security measures. The same offer I gave him applies to you."

"What 'offer'?"

"I know what power you wield. I know one day the Avengers will turn on you like they did Wanda. I can offer you protection. Come to the wedding as a guest –of mine as well as Wanda's– And remain here as long as you wish. I can shelter you from the wrath of those who will seek to destroy you."

"And let me guess. If I refuse, I'll remain here as your prisoner."

"Yes."

"I want two conditions."

"I will hear them."

"First, I want to find out why Wanda is here and why her memories and powers are both gone as well as meet with her. Second, I want to be with Wiccan until the wedding."

"I will tell you about Wanda and am more than willing to allow you to stay with the boy, but I am not prepared to let you talk to Wanda."

Tora stood silently for a second, face not giving anything away. Then…

"I accept."

* * *

><p>"She <strong>didn't<strong>…"

"You'll end up saying that quite a lot over the next few sessions Phoenix. Please desist."

* * *

><p>Tora paced back and forth, kicked a wall then stormed back.<p>

"Stupid inhibitor spell. I can heal, but only just and that stupid spell has blocked me from Dragon. I kinda miss the scaly reptile."

Wiccan was sitting cross-legged on his chair, fingers touching.

"_Iwantmypowersback, Iwantmypowersback, Iwantmypowersback, Iwantmy- _Whoa…"

"You like it?"

Tora whipped around and nodded.

"Definite improvement on the last one."

"It's…**perfect**."

"It **is**, isn't it? It's all been perfect. Meeting Victor—falling in love—the king proposing to the gypsy girl. It's all been **too** perfect…until you show up and suddenly Victor becomes someone I don't recognise. So before I walk down the aisle with him, I need you to tell me **everything**. Please… Tell me about this Scarlet Witch."

Wiccan stared up.

"On **one** condition. You have to get us out of here."

She nodded and led them into a tunnel. Wiccan started.

"The Scarlet Witch was one of the most powerful members of a team of heroes called the Avengers."

Tora coughed slightly.

"I'd say **most** powerful. Reality warping on the scale the Witch was capable of was only ever surpassed by cosmic entities and the Reality Gem."

"Excuse me, am I telling this or you?"

"You."

"Thank you. She fell in love with –and married—another Avenger, the Vision, with whom she had twin boys—Thomas and William."

"The boys were born about five months before my first child. We were both off active duty and were so **bored** we actually started our own vigilante operations for a while."

"Ahem."

"Sorry."

"From what I've heard, they were a happy family."

"Very happy."

"DRAGON!"

"Sorry again."

"Then… the twins' souls were captured by a criminal named Master Pandemonium for his master, the demon Mephisto. But the Scarlet Witch blamed the Avengers for the loss of her kids and killed three of her teammates, destroying the team. Or so it seemed."

"Er, you forgot to mention M-Day."

"Oh… I'll let you talk about that."

"Part of the Witch's breakdown was a planet-wide reality warp that changed the mutant-human status quo and gave her personal friends their greatest wish. Mutants were the higher class and the Witch's father, Magneto, was almost supreme ruler of the world. A group of heroes regained awareness of the warp and attacked. The fight ended when the Witch spoke three words. "No more mutants". The world returned to normal only almost all the millions of mutants around the world had been depowered, with only 198 mutants left. Magneto was found depowered, as was the Witch's brother, Quicksilver. Of the Witch, no sign."

Wiccan nodded.

"The mutants ended up in a refugee camp in New York and the Avengers were gone. Until a young hero called Iron Lad began recruiting a new generation of Avengers. A group of kids with deeply personal connections to the Avengers, even if those connections weren't immediately apparent. In fact, it wasn't until I met a speedster named Thomas –who happened to look just like my identical twin- that I realised… oh no…"

"What? What did you realise?!

Tora sighed, obviously used to fights between Avengers and Doombots as Wiccan gulped.

"What have I **done**?"

"Everything we told you **not** to, kid."

Tora whipped around and shoved Wanda out of the way as Wolverine lunged. Logan stepped backwards.

"And you! You've teamed up with **Magneto**. Started a war with Doom. And I'll be damned if I know how but you actually found the Scarlet Witch, which makes my job **so** much easier."

He sighed then hit Tora's face, knocking her to one side. Wiccan reached out a hand.

"Wolverine, **stop**! What are you **doing**?!"

"What does it **look** like kid? I'm saving the **world**…as usual."

Wanda stared up at him, her green eyes frightened.

"Why are you **doing** this?"

"It's not **personal** Wanda, believe me. If our situations were reversed –if I were as big a threat as you- I'd expect you to do the same thing to me."

"And what if **I** were the threat, like we both know I am? What if **I** were the one who said 'no more mutants'? What if it was me Logan? Would you be prepared to kill me?"

Tora stood up and spat out a tooth.

"I'm a greater threat than the Scarlet Witch **ever** was and infinitely greater than Wanda Maximoff is. She's not the Witch Logan! She's just Wanda. My **friend**!"

"Thanks for telling me that. Without her powers she'll be easier to kill."

Wiccan stared at him.

"What's **wrong** with you? You're supposed to be one of the **good** guys."

"So was **she**. Until she slaughtered her friends and wiped out an entire species with three little words. "No more mutants." Right Wanda? Well you got your wish sweetheart. Thanks to you, there's only a few of us **left**. And now thanks to me, there's a about to be one **less.** Uhnn-!"

"Not if **I** can help it."

Tora didn't turn to see Iron Lad, instead pulling up Wanda, who stared at her.

"Is that your husband?"

"He's normally a lot more restrained than that. I think he's been holding that grudge for far too long."

* * *

><p>"Well, he did stop trying to kill her when she-"<p>

"Spoilers, Death. Spoilers."


	164. Blue Dragon, Red Witch

**Memories**

Blue Dragon, Red Witch

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Curt sent out a huge web and caught Hawkeye before she crashed into the Doombots. She saluted him before running off and then Curt blinked as Wolverine went flying backwards through the air.

Cool. Someone managed to hit Dad.

(I thought only Maman and Uncle Piotr were strong enough to do that?)

_**Uncle Erik can do it.**_

(Yeah, but he's trying to out-bad-guy Dr Doom)

Hey, I like Uncle Erik!

(Since when did we start to think of **Magneto** of all people as "Uncle Erik"?)

When Maman told me he was adopted by Etana. I mean **come on**! How many people get totally-awesome-super-cool-uncles like **Magneto**?

(Hey, isn't that Iron Lad?)

Oh boy! Fanboy attack!

Curt shot towards him and started speaking at about three times the normal speed to Iron Lad who was holding Stature.

"Hi, I'm Curt Logan but they call me Poison and I'm a Young Avenger as of yesterday and I think you just shot my dad about a mile, unless it was Maman but she doesn't often hit Dad and did you just stop Uncle Erik?! You are so awesome!"

Stature grinned.

"Nate, this is Curt. He's Wolverine's son but he's on our side."

"Along with his mother apparently."

"Aren't you Kang the Conqueror?"

"Please can you not mention that? I'm a bit touchy on that."

"Don't worry. Maman says that alternate futures can be changed by any and all choices, and not always by your own choice. She says I've got to be careful though else I'll end up a psychopathic killer like Poison's dad, Carnage and I've got to be **extra** wary because I've apparently got a little bit of Dragon inside me and if I go bad I could end up destroying everything."

"Does he always talk this much?"

"Where's Billy?"

"He's with Dragon and the Scarlet Witch just outside the city."

"No they're not."

"How do you—?"

"Because I just circled the city and they're not there. Not even a trace of blue and grey."

"WHERE IS HE? WHERE'S DOOM!"

They turned in horror to each other.

"They're in danger…"

* * *

><p>"Ow?"<p>

"Oh yes."

* * *

><p>"Please, Victor, stop it! You're killing them! They just saved my life! He's just a <strong>child<strong>!"

Tora writhed in agony on the floor, her eyes unfocussed as her back arched up. Magic! Why did magic have to exist? It was the one thing she had never been trained to defend against. She could withstand almost any physical torture but magic always hurt her. She could see Wiccan writhing as well and that spurred her on. She would and **could** take any torture Doom threw at her but hurting a child?

She levered herself up, eyes flashing silver as she struggled to withstand the agony as she felt her bones heat up.

"Let…him…go…Do…what….you…wa…nt…to…me…But…let…Wiccan…go…He's just…a child…"

Doom appeared to listen to Wanda's pleas and instead concentrated all his power on Tora, so she dropped in agony again, wishing for once that she had Dragon, ready and able to leap in and attack Doom. But she was just Tora, just Tigress again. Funny. She'd not thought of herself as Tigress for years. Then she heard one of the most wonderful sounds in the world. Erik!

"**DOOM**!"

The spell broke and she pulled herself up, limping in the same direction as Wiccan and the Witch. Wiccan gulped at the swelling bruises and cuts on her face.

"I guess he went easy on me, huh?"

"He went easy on **me**, Wiccan. Doom could probably kill me with a word. I'm not indestructible, no matter **what** people say. I bleed, just for a short time."

The Young Avengers came into view and Poison ran forward.

"MAMAN! What did stupid-doo-doo-Doom do to you? I'm going to eat his brain! I'm going to eat his brain!"

Tora raised her head to hear the introductions and then smiled at Iron Lad.

"Nathanial Richards, I presume?"

"Ms Logan. Wow… Er… Yeah, I mean, you'd think I'd be used to meeting my ancestors by now but you're like… Well, **legend**. The woman who healed the world, saved the human race and brokered the K'Meer-Shi'ar Peace Pact. You're… Well, I think there are more than a few temples to you around the world…"

"Please don't hold me to things like that. I know better than most the delicacy of free will. What you are talking about could be a different me. I could quite easily go insane sometime in the future and decide that the best way to heal the universe is to return in to return it to 'pristine conditions'. As in, absolutely nothing. No stars, no planets, no life. I-"

"Wanda!"

"Too late!"

"No, it's not. That's the **thing** about time travel. It's **never** too late."

Tora's eyes were wide.

"Beautiful. I've never time-travelled like this before. I've only been through Cable's Askani tech which is much less advanced. Basically it punches a hole in spacetime. This is much more refined and I don't feel the need to throw up."

"Are you alright? You look pretty beaten up."

"Seriously, this isn't actually that bad for me. Some of the stuff that's happened to me… Look, if I'm in agony I just think about being vivisected when I was thirteen. And then nothing seems to hurt that much."

"Isn't vivisection when they cut you open without anesthetic…?"

"Yes. Don't worry. The men who did it are tucked away nice and securely in a high-security mental institution."

Wanda stared at her.

"We were friends?"

"No. We were sisters. Sisters by suffering. Sisters by power. Sisters through blood and sweat and tears."

Tora sighed.

"If we're going back to **that** day, we need to wait for me to heal. The internal injuries are sorted but I think my femur is still trying to cool down."

"What did he **do** to you?"

"I think he was being rather soft on me. He only super-heated my bones but you can't get adamantium over a certain temperature except when it's first created. As soon as it drops below that temperature, it solidifies and can't be melted again. I had it implanted when it was liquid. Seriously, nothing can beat that for pain and Doom knows it. When he once **really** meant to kill me, he forced me to relive that experience then amplified it. And that's me healed!"

"So what **did** he block if you can heal? If he blocked Billy's powers…"

"He blocked me from Dragon. It…It feels like a part of me is dead. Torn out… I can't even touch the connection, although I know it's there. It's so **quiet**. I'm normally in constant conversation with it but…it's so quiet and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. So until I find a sorcerer able to remove the blocks there won't be any cosmic waterworks or deeply profound statements. I'm just Tigress now."

They faded into existence and Tora stared up.

"It's…smaller than I remember… I suppose it was so mythical it increased in size…"

She was halter by Cassie shouting "Dad!" and was too slow to catch the girl's arm as she ran. She turned to stare at Scott Lang who glanced up.

"Hey. Tora! Has my daughter somehow roped you into whatever she's planning? Is that a new costume? Trust me, go back to the old one. You look like you're going to kill someone in that."

She stared at him then turned her head away in sadness. She knew **when** they were. She knew that this would be one of Scott Lang's last moments. And then she turned to see where Wanda was and froze. Her lips moved silently as she stood, unable to move as Wanda stared into the dead man's eyes and mouthed his name and Tora could see the fear there, not the fear of dead men walking but the fear of what was to come next, what she was about to do. And then Curt was pulling her away, trying to get her away from the explosion that was to come, but she reached out for her friend, to the woman in the white dress, pulling herself free to try and get her away and then everything went white and she staggered upwards and her mouth opened in horror at the looks on the Young Avengers faces and then she gulped.

"Everyone alright? Wiccan? Poison? Speed?"

Tommy glanced up.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Did you just ask if I was alright?"

"Yes. Stature? Hawkeye? Patriot? Vision? Everyone fine? No missing limbs? Internal organs? No one about ten years out, agewise? Good! Iron Lad, there was no way you had powered up in time. So if you didn't bring us home and my powers are still on the fritz and Curt hasn't enough power to even **slightly** change time, let alone pull us forward about four years, then who did?"

"I did."

Tora turned and her face was the only one that registered a smile as the woman hovered down.

"You were right Billy. I **am** the Scarlet Witch. And I remember **everything**."

And then Tora threw her arms around the woman's neck and started crying softly.

* * *

><p>"She really <strong>did<strong> care about the Scarlet Witch, didn't she?"

"Yes, the two were bonded in a way that most didn't understand. Only those with the power to change reality yet who were totally human at heart could understand. In the end it drove them both insane."


	165. Temporal Insanity

**Memories**

Temporal Insanity

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"_This woman is a traitor, convicted of killing our High Lord. The whole world shall watch her execution, as befits a monster like this demon."_

_Etana stood quite still, an odd look on her face as her hands were clasped together, a power suppressor tight around her wrists. The whole regime was in shambles but they had time to organise her execution. Etana had looked rather bored throughout the whole trial and now seemed preoccupied with cleaning her fingernails as well as she could. Tora stood slightly to one side, thankful that the bruises from the beating had faded. She had been the distraction, the one who had kept Logan from responding to Apocalypse's final scream. But she hadn't done her job properly. Etana had been captured and tortured. Tora had heard the screams from below, known what Etana would have gone through. So now was time to make up. Logan stepped forward, the sword in his hand. Etana stared at him, her silver eyes challenging him. He shifted, obviously uncomfortable with her unwavering stare._

"_Bow your head."_

"_I do not bow to traitors."_

"_You are the traitor."_

_She smiled and raised her head back._

"_I have never been afraid to die. Would quoting Star Wars right now be wildly inappropriate?"_

"_What?"_

"_Strike me down and I will become more powerful than ever before."_

_The blade was brought up, ready to be plunged into Etana's stomach. And Tora leapt, screamed as the blade shattered on her spine and collapsed right onto Etana as brimstone enfolded them and she half-gasped when she realised that Kurt had been planning a rescue mission and she, idiot as she was, had just proceeded to prove that she was the spy. But then she was being rocked by soft arms and she smelt Kurt hold her close._

"_That was so very you…"_

_She smiled muzzily then fell into unconsciousness as her body started healing the wounds._

xXx

"_Who are you and what are you doing in my room?"_

_The boy stared up at her, his blank mask displaying no emotion._

"_I'm… I'm… I'm…"_

"_Who are you and why are you dressed like that?"_

_The boy stood up and dusted himself down, somehow displaying a certain measure of self-consciousness in his bright orange and black ensemble._

"_Well…aside from the fact you just almost knocked me out… I'm actually a superhero. In training."_

"_Obviously. Well that's **who** you are. Why are you here?"_

"_I'm here to rescue you. From Dr Doom. You don't know me but… well… I mean… We never actually **met** but I've seen all the old footage. I mean, you're **Dragon**. I'm sort of the advance party. I'm here with your dad and your half-brother and –sister."_

"_I'm sorry, I don't quite comprehend. My name is Marie Circen."_

"_Ah… Well you're either just pretending to be amnesiac and I totally don't blame you or you actually **are** amnesiac and nothing I'm saying makes any sense to you. But… Can I rescue you and then explain?"_

"_Well…actually I don't want to get rescued. I'm getting married tomorrow morning you see."_

_She could see the surprise in the boy's face, despite his mask._

"_To **who**?"_

"_To me."_

_She turned and smiled softly._

"_Victor."_

_The boy's hands raised into a guard position._

"_What did you do to her?!"_

_And then Victor raised his hands and hit the boy with magic and Marie cried out in fear as Victor's eyes darkened behind his mask._

"_You should not have come here."_

"_**You** shouldn't have kidnapped her."_

"_I know this will disappoint you child, but Marie Circen is here of her own free will."_

"_Marie Circen is here because you've put her under one of your freaky spells."_

"_Marie Circen is right here and I can speak for myself."_

"_Marie! Get to safety!"_

"_Tell her the **truth** Doom. Tell her why I'm **here**! Tell her who she really is!"_

"_**Enough**!"_

"_Victor, please, stop!"_

"_I am trying to **protect** you. I am trying to protect us all."_

"_Your name is Marie Circen. You're a feral mutant who gained the power to alter reality at your will-"_

"_**What**?"_

"_He's talking nonsense Marie."_

"_You were married to another mutant, Wolverine. You had twins, Eva and Curt. You were told they died shortly after they were born-"_

"_I am **warning** you, boy…"_

"_But your kids are…"_

"…_You are playing with **fire**."_

_A concussive blast hit the boy in the face and he fell. Marie crouched down, her long green cloak nestling around her feet as she checked the boy's pulse._

"_Victor, how **could** you—?"_

"_He'll live."_

"_He's a **child**. He didn't harm me and had no intention of hurting me. If anything, I may have hurt him."_

_Her fingers traced over the jawline and then went to where she **thought** the join between the mask and his shirt was but there was nothing. Victor held his hand out and helped her up before brushing one gloved hand over her face._

"_You are too **trusting** my love, even of **me**. Tomorrow you marry the king of Latveria, a man with more enemies than allies, all of who will become **your** enemies. So, please hear me when I tell you, it is not too late to **reconsider**."_

"_If you have enemies it is because they don't know you like **I** do. You saved me and the only family I had. You keep on saving me. And after the wedding tomorrow, nothing and **no one **will ever come between us."_

"_Thank you my love. I will heal the boy."_

_Marie touched the mask softly._

"_Thank you. Thank you for believing me when I came to you, desperate for help. They… they were all I had. They…they found me when I was a child… There was a dying woman next to me… My mother, they thought. She said my name was Marie Circen and I had to be kept hidden. When they were accused of stealing…they wouldn't! They never would! It's just a cruel lie!"_

_He touched her face once more before gesturing a Doombot to gently pick up the boy. Marie walked to the window and closed her eyes. She'd been so afraid when she'd gone to Doom's castle to beg for the release of her foster family, her **only** family. They may have been gypsies but they weren't **thieves**. And Doom had somehow fallen in love with her. Marie opened her eyes and reached up for her lucky charm. The little blue stone felt so warm to the touch, a little dragon on a silver chain. She turned away and fell onto the bed, so conflicted and slightly worried. And then she knew what she had to do._

_She unlocked the door and stared. The boy's mask was no longer on his head, revealing black hair flecked with red. Unconsciously, Marie's fingers brushed the black streak in her hair. The boy's mouth dropped open._

"_Whoa…"_

_She smiled, feeling a little rush of satisfaction that the dress impressed him like that._

"_You like it?"_

"_It's…wow…just wow… It's **perfect**."_

"_It **is**, isn't it? It's all been so wonderful, falling in love, the king proposing to the poor gypsy girl who came to him on a mission to beg. It's been **too** perfect and then you show up and I don't know my fiancé anymore. So before I walk down the aisle towards him, please…tell me **everything**. Please…tell me about this… '**Dragon**'."_

"_On one condition. You have to show me a way out."_

_She ushered him out of the door and opened the secret passage, stopping to pick up one of the lanterns and lighting it. The boy took it off her and went ahead._

"_Dragon was a young woman from Europe and met with the Avengers, helping them save the world. Wanda Maximoff, the Scarlet Witch, noticed a similarity in their appearance and insisted the woman went with them. Tests revealed she was the half-sister of the Witch and Quicksilver. Marie –that was her name- was a feral mutant with the ability to heal from almost any injury and had the senses and reflexes of an animal. She briefly joined the Avengers before going to join with the X-Men. There she met –and fell in love with- another X-Man, Wolverine Shortly afterwards, she gained huge power through a cosmic entity called the Dragon. She had twins, but they were born prematurely and she was told that they had died. It caused her to have a mental breakdown and she blamed the X-Men for her children's loss. She attacked them and a number of the X-Men –and one Avenger- died. Dragon was whisked away to Genosha by her father and was never heard from again. A young hero named Iron Lad began recruiting a new member of Avengers as a method of protecting the world from his older self, Kang the Conqueror. The first Young Avengers Iron Lad recruited was me –a former mutant- and my sister found in an alley after the Weapon Plus project we'd been a part of abandoned us and I'd ended up bonded to an alien symbiote. A set of genetic tests from Iron Lad provided an interesting result and we realised… oh no…"_

"_What? What did you realise? Oh…"_

"_What have I **done**!?"_

"_Everything you were told not to."_

_They whipped around to see a man with blue skin and huge, metal wings._

"_You teamed up with Magneto. Started a war with Doom. And somehow found Dragon. Which will make my job a **whole** lot easier."_

_His wings raised and suddenly shot a series of razor-sharp metal feathers, cutting the dress's skirt as she stumbled. The boy's hand flung out._

"_Angel, **stop**! What are you **doing**?!"_

"_What does it **look** like? I'm saving the **world**. Like **she** was supposed to!"_

_A tear slid down her face as he pinned her down, right wing pressed to her neck and forcing her head back._

"_Why are you doing this?"_

"_It's not **personal** Marie, believe me. You were a **friend**. But you betrayed us all. You went from being one of the greatest heroes ever to a murderer. If I was as big a threat as you are, then I'd want you to do the same for me."_

_The boy leapt, his mask now on his face, odd since he hadn't seemed to be carrying it."_

"_She's **not** a threat! She has **no** powers, **no** memories. She's not a threat to **anyone**."_

"_Thanks for telling me that. Her powers would have made her almost impossible to kill."_

"_What's **wrong** with you? You were one of the original X-Men. You're supposed to be a good guy!"_

"_So was **she**. Until she killed Bobby, reanimated Jean Grey and forced her old friend to kill Professor X, Emma Frost and her own husband as well as twenty-four teenagers and a visiting Avenger then wiped out an entire **species** with three little words. "No more mutants". Right Marie? Well you got your wish sweetheart. There's less than two-hundred of us left, thanks to you. And thanks to me, there's about to be one **less**."_

_Marie's eyes were wide with fear and there was none of the steel Warren was accustomed to seeing._

"_Not if **I** can help it."_

_Archangel was sent flying backwards from the blast and Marie's head snapped around._

"_You alright?"_

"_Iron Lad!"_

"_I'm **back** Poison. And I'm here to protect you. The **future** depends on you staying alive."_

_Iron Lad shot off into the battle and the boy grabbed her arm._

"_We have to get you out of here. Half the people here want to lock you up and half the people want to kill you."_

"_I…I don't understand. Why do they hate me?"_

"_Because you're powerful. Oh $*&."_

_Victor's eyes were almost black in rage. Marie held out her hands in a desperate plea._

"_Victor, he's a **child**!"_

"_Apparently he's more than that. Even **without** his symbiote in a functioning state, Poison **still** managed to escape his cell, contact his allies and kidnap you."_

"_He didn't do **any** of that. **I'm** the one who freed him."_

"_You…?"_

"_The boy travelled halfway around the world and risked his life looking for me. I had to find out **why**?"_

"_And **did** you?"_

"_He told me his story, yes."_

"_And do you believe him?"_

"_Do I believe I'm the avatar to an all-powerful cosmic entity who lost her son then murdered her teammates –her friends? No, Victor. But the **real** question is, why are you so afraid I'd believe such a story?"_

"_DOOM!"_

_A man in a red helmet leapt down, hammering Victor down to the ground._

"_Victor!"_

"_Marie…we've got to get you out of here."_

"_I can't just **leave** him."_

"_Believe me, Doom can take care of himself. You have to get you somewhere safe where no one will try to capture you. Or kill you. Or **marry** you."_

"_I think **we** might be able to help with that."_

"_I'm so happy to see you lot right now that I almost don't care you're all about to yell at me for using that teleporter I stole from Deadpool."_

_Hawkeye glared._

"_Good, because…"_

"_I said '**almost'**."_

_Marie blinked._

"_The Young Avengers, I presume?"_

"_Guys, allow me to introduce-"_

"_Dragon."_

_A girl with short red hair, dressed in blue and yellow, snorted._

"_I can't **believe** it, Butt-face. You actually found her."_

"_I'm **not** Dragon."_

"_This is **Marie Circen**. She has absolutely no memory of Dragon and no powers. And neither do I at the moment because Doom did something to Poison. It's **horrible**. All quiet. I hope he'll wake up soon."_

_Wiccan gulped._

"_Well, you see, I sort of got zapped by Doom when he meant to get Mom and I haven't got any powers. Hi Ms Circen. I'm your sort of reincarnated half-nephew. Now can we get out of here before Doom, the Avengers, the X-Men and whoever else are-"_

"_MARIE"_

"_Too late."_

"_No it's not. That's the thing with time travel. It's **never** too late."_

_The last thing Marie saw was Victor shouting her name as he ran towards her, along with the helmeted man, a man with white hair and a lightning bolt on his chest and a woman in red who looked like someone had stabbed her in the heart. Then they were in a ghostly red bubble and the boy in armour was tapping at screens._

"_Where too?"_

"_I think you know."_

"_Cassie—"_

"_If we're going to undo this, Kate, we need to start from the beginning. The day Dragon brought Phoenix back from the dead long enough to kill my dad when he wasn't even an X-Man."_

"_So you can save him and change history?"_

"_I won't. I promise…"_

"_You won't be able to stop yourself. And you'll create a divergent timeline with two Cassies in it neither of whom will want to come home with us."_

"_Forgive me, but we seem to be on the run because of something **I've** done. So, if reliving the past could help me **remember**, maybe I could set things right."_

"_I'm sorry, but we've learnt the hard way that once you start messing around with the past."_

"_We couldn't be **changing** the past. I've developed a new technology that would allow us to inhabit a moment in time without altering it."_

"_Then maybe Marie **will** remember."_

_Patriot grumbled something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like "then maybe she'll lose control and kill us all"._

"_How **reliable** is this new technology?"_

"_I promise you Kate, no one will ever know we were here."_

_The building that appeared before them was gleaming, built in an X shape with a statue in the courtyard. A golden sign proclaimed it to be "Xavier's Institute of Higher Education"._

"_Oh my."_

"_Do you recognise it?"_

"_You know where you are?"_

"_No. I'm sorry."_

"_Maybe if you took a look around. My dad brought me here once on Avenger's business. Oh my G- DAD!"_

"_Cassie, NO! And I thought **Curt** would be the problem…"_

"_Don't worry Kate. She can see him but he can't see-"_

"_Cassie?"_

"…_her."_

"_Daddy…"_

"_What on **earth** are you doing here? Sweetheart, is everything okay?"_

"_It is **now**."_

"_In my defence, this is new technology."_

"_And apparently **useless**."_

"_I'm still beta-testing it but the results have been…"_

"_Do you have **any** idea what you've done?"_

"_The minute I power back up, I'll get us out of here Kate. I promise. Before Wolverine turns up and Curt starts crying."_

"_Who are your friends?"_

"_Um… They're from school. We're…dressing up as…Young Avengers for Halloween and I promised them a tour of the mansion but when I went there they said you were here and wouldn't let me in without you after the incident with Iron Man's repulsors…"_

"_You want to introduce me?"_

"_You have no **idea** how much."_

"_This is Nathaniel."_

"_It's a pleasure to finally meet you sir."_

"_That's a pretty impressive get-up young man. They all are. Although I have to say the Phoenix costume is in **very** poor taste, especially considering the X-Men thought of her as their heart."_

"_No… That **is** Phoenix."_

_They turned to see the woman staggering towards them, red hair flecked with granules of dirt, green uniform torn and filthy and her skin tight over the joints, eyes milky when they had once been green._

"_Nathaniel, get us out of here **now**."_

"_I need a moment to get my power levels back up."_

"_We don't **have** a moment."_

"_Cassie, what's going on?"_

"_Marie! Everybody! Run!"_

_They ran, Cassie pulling her father's hand vigorously._

"_Marie…? What the…?"_

_They glanced back and saw Marie leaning towards the woman._

"_Marie…"_

"Mon …_"_

"_MARIE! COME ON!"_

"_Jean…"_

"_Why are you doing this?"_

"_Jean Grey…"_

"_Please Marie… Don't make me do this. Please?"_

"_MARIE!"_

"_What is she **doing**?"_

"_We have to go **now**!"_

"_Not without Marie!"_

_Speed grinned._

"_Don't worry. I've got her."_

_Jean's eyes clenched shut._

"_I'm sorry."_

_And the firebird soared to the sky, burning right through the front of the school._

"_Kate?"_

"_Billy…?"_

"_Curt?"_

"_You okay?"_

"_I'm not **dead**. So that's **something**."_

"_I'm okay."_

"_I'm fine."_

"_I'm not injured, if anyone is interested."_

"_Dad? You alright?"_

"_What just happened?"_

"_I'm trying to find out."_

"_Phoenix just blew up the school."_

"_But…Phoenix is dead."_

"_She is **now**, that's for sure."_

"_But…"_

"_Dad, the important thing is you're **alive**."_

"_If that's true… then why are we at the Avengers Mansion and why is there an Ant-Man memorial statue?"_

_The words flew back and forth, no one quite sure what to make of it, Curt being oddly quiet. And then he exploded._

"_SO IT'S OKAY FOR CASSIE TO RESCUE **HER** DAD BUT I'M NOT ALLOWED TO TRY AND FIND MINE WHO I'VE NEVER EVEN **MET**!"_

"_Who's this?"_

"_Er… This is Curt Logan. Wolverine's son."_

"_Does anyone know **how** we got here, because Iron Lad didn't bring us here?"_

"_If Nate didn't…who did?"_

"_I did."_

_She hovered towards them, dressed in blue, a silver dragon roaring on her chest, her eyes filled with steel._

"_You were right Poison. I **am** Dragon. And I remember **everything**."_

* * *

><p>"Wow. Tora was actually capable of something of the likes of House of M?"<p>

"Yes."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Only two realities this time. Sorry, I couldn't resist the idea of Tora being the one behind M-Day and the Decimation. If you want it continued –to find out how Tora was able to alter reality- tell me._


	166. Revalations

**Memories**

Revelations

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Wanda stared at Tora for a long second and then gently stepped away.

"Tora."

Flat, even tone. So calm and yet at the same time… There was something warm in there. Something that spoke of friendship. Tora sniffed.

"Yeah, I know. Gone soft."

Wanda touched her shoulder then turned to the Young Avengers.

"My name is Wanda Maximoff. They call me the Scarlet Witch."

Curt glanced at his mother who looked like she was narrowly avoiding hugging herself. Then he glanced back. Over near the door, Beast buried his head in his hands.

"I **knew** I should have put more than a dollar on Tora being the one to bring back the Scarlet Witch."

The Young Avengers walked over but then Tora was shouting to Wanda, shouting something snatched away by the weaponry turning towards her. Tora ran towards the Witch, screaming her name.

"Don't Wanda! Don't! Think of what we've **all** done! Think of that! We aren't perfect!"

And then she was gesturing at Wiccan.

"Up! Now! Explain!"

Stature took him up and then Wanda was hugging Wiccan and Tora gulped, glanced away, looked back up, sighed, pulled at a torn piece of her uniform to rip it off then blew her nose. Okay, definitely needed to work on the 'impassive Dragon' routine. And then Wanda was hugging her and Tora placed her hands on the Witch's shoulders and leant back.

"I've missed you."

Wanda smiled weakly.

"I'd like to say I'd missed you too but…"

"But you didn't recognise me until about ten seconds ago?"

"Kind of like that."

Then Hawkeye said the fatal words.

"So who do we know who's desperate enough and/or stupid enough to be our former mutant guinea pig?"

Everyone's eyes turned to Curt. He shook his head.

"No."

"What?! Don't you **trust** her?!"

He looked ashamed.

"Yeah, I **trust** her. I…I just don't want my powers back."

Tora stared at him.

"Why? You've tried everything else so far…"

Curt shook his head.

"Maman, you've read all the same files as I have. Weapon X messed around with my head. My healing factor kicked in to try and fix that. By trying to fix my mind, it was destroying it. Maman, my mutation was driving me **insane**. Haven't you noticed? Since the Decimation, I've been more…stable? Is that how the doctor types put it?"

Tora stared at him for a long moment then nodded sharply.

"X-Factor."

"What?"

"X-Factor Investigations. Their clients are mainly depowered mutants…"

"Well what are we waiting for?"

They walked off but Wanda caught Tora's arm.

"Tora?"

"Yes?"

"I…I don't just remember some of the stuff. I remember you. I remember you trying to save me. Thank you."

Tora shook her head.

"I messed up. I let them get to you. I let them hurt you. I shouldn't have."

"You aren't infallible Tora."

And Tora looked away.

"I should be."

* * *

><p>"Well, she always was too determined to be there for everyone."<p>

* * *

><p>Tora stood protectively between Wanda and the assembled heroes. And then she shouted a wordless, angry shout. Everyone turned to look at her.<p>

"Anyone who wants Wanda has to come through me, you filthy **hypocrites**!"

Everyone stared at her.

"Tora…?"

"Yes, Wanda did something terrible. But I don't see you running to save her from the Shi'ar trial, Scott. I don't see you **forgiving** her for the genocide of an entire **star-system**!"

A bubble had appeared in her hands and they all saw Jean Grey –or something that **looked** like her- burning a world. Tora's eyes were glowing silver.

"And I don't see the Avengers coming for me because I stood back and let an entire **world** burn and set off World War Hulk!"

The bubble showed Tora standing staring into a pool at a planet that was cracking and fracturing, about to blow apart then turning away. The Tora holding the bubble moved her hands to cause the bubble to disappear then held her hands out.

"Go on. Arrest me. Take me to justice for letting innocent **children** perish in the fires of Sakaar. Because I swear to you, I still have the **nightmares**. I still hear every last scream, every little **plea** to the Sakaarson to save them! Bruce knew I was there! He saw me in the sky that night! He saw me turn my back! Go on then. Kill me."

Everyone was staring at her in silence.

"KILL ME! Heaven knows, it would be a gift! I've been wanting to die for **months**! Do you know how much every **breath** hurts! I breathe and I'm still alive and I just want to **die**!"

Logan snarled.

"Wanda still destroyed almost all the mutant race!"

And Tora's eyes were no longer human.

"You blame her! You blame **her**! You want to kill her for what she did?! FINE! But before you kill her, you kill me! I'm a murderer! I killed my own **flesh and blood** without a second thought! I turned, became the darkness incarnate! I killed in cold blood! I threw Jean into a black hole! When Sakaar burned, I should have been there! BUT I WASN'T! I committed **genocide** by proxy! I wasn't there, so the world **burned**! I wasn't there and a million lives were snuffed out! Wanda may be responsible for a few deaths! But I am responsible for **billions** by doing **nothing**! Kill me then Logan! Kill me and then you can have Wanda! But unless you are prepared to kill me for the lives I let go of, then you have no right to kill Wanda! Unless you are prepared to hurt me for almost **killing** Emma when she entered my mind to stop me from going **insane **when I thought I'd lost my son, then you have no right to hurt Wanda! So **back off** before I go Dragon on you! And you know what happens when I go Dragon when I'm emotional! I go Dark, Logan! I go Dark and then Wanda will be the **least** of your problems! If you want Wanda, you have to kill me first. So do it."

No one spoke and then her lips slid back to reveal her teeth.

"I have killed for my children. Wanda would do the same. Go on then, Avengers, X-Men, all of you. Let me go for being a **monster** and kill Wanda for being a **mother**! You **disgust** me!"

"Tora… You…You…"

She stared at Logan.

"How about I tell everyone our secret? Our little secret we've kept for so long."

"Tora…"

"You all heard how my clone attacked my son and me, forcing Logan to kill her. That's a **lie**! It's the lie I had to agree to in exchange for a promise! Logan didn't kill Poacher. I did. I stuck my claws right into her stomach and I felt **good**! Because she had threatened my son. I have killed and lied and lied once more! Go on then. Take me away! Dispense your 'justice'. Go on! KILL ME! I WANT YOU TO KILL ME!"

Her hands were clenched in fists.

"Do it! Please! Just let me stop living this half-life, this torment! I'm not **whole**! Just let me **die**! I don't want to live like this anymore."

Her face was streaked with tears and she fell to her knees.

"Please, just let me die… I don't want to live… Not with all this pain… You told me you learnt to live with it… But I can't… All I am is pain… All I want is the pain to end… Please, someone end my pain…"

And then Wanda leant down and was cleaning her tears away.

"That's not the Tora I know. Where's the sarcasm? The bite? That infuriating stubbornness?"

And Tora's eyes were dead.

"It's dead, Wanda… It's dead… All is dead…"

And then Doom was standing there dressed in white and offering peace and healing and Tora stood up and shook her head.

"No Doom. You cannot bring back the dead. All you would do is bring back a **shade** of them."

"I am more powerful than the **Beyonder**!"

And then Tora was laughing.

"The Beyonder? A mere **child** to me! You are merely an avatar of the Life Force. **I am Life Renewed!**"

"No. You are just the avatar of the Dragon."

And Tora laughed so softly.

"No. I'm not. Tora Logan is **gone**. And all that remains is me. The Dragon."

Logan glanced at Scott.

"This sound familiar?"

"Too familiar… How long do you think we've had an imposter?"

And then Tora was smiling.

"You thought you stopped Tora accessing Dragon. What you actually did was split Tora from Dragon and now I am in control."

"What…?"

Doom's eyes were confused.

"I am not Tora. I am **Dragon**!"

And Wanda nodded.

"**That** was what was wrong with her."

And then Dragon was up at Doom's eyelevel, head tilted slightly in an innocent motion.

"I can destroy you, Doom. I can destroy you and scatter your atoms across the cosmos."

Her hand was suddenly glowing.

"In fact, I might do just that."

Her hand was outstretched and glowing silver.

"I wonder if it will hurt? I've never done this before. I've never tried this. You know, I don't think I'll kill you. You'll still be alive. Just atoms, scattered throughout the universe."

The eyes were solid silver, gleaming and bright. Wherever Tora was, it wasn't there

And then Doom was being hurt by Wanda and Wiccan and then he was Doom again and fleeing and Dragon turned and stared at the X-Men and Avengers and wondered why they were so scared of her. She tilted her head and stared at them. Then one of them spoke.

"Get out of her head! Get out of her **head**!"

"What do you mean?"

"Where's Tora! Where's Tora!"

"She is me."

"No, that isn't Tora! That isn't Tora at **all**!"

She tilted her head the other way.

"What is wrong? I am not trying to kill you. I am not hurting you. I am not hurting **anyone**."

"Where. Is. Tora."

"Inside me. I am her and she is me. We are one and the same. Tora is inside me."

"It should be the other way around! That's her body you're wearing!"

She blinked.

"But I am stopping the pain. She wants the pain to stop, so I stopped it."

"By burying her deep inside you!"

"She just wanted the pain to stop. She didn't say how."

"Not by forcing your way into her **head**!"

"I already was there."

She didn't understand. Why were the little people so angry? So scared? She was benevolent. She was pure. She was power. And then something forced its way to the top. She was Tora.

"Get! Out! Of! My! **HEAD**!"

And she felt Dragon slip back into its usual niche and Tora then realised she was hovering above the ground and fell. She felt Tony catch her and then she was being placed carefully on the ground. And they were staring at her.

"Tora, we…we can't let you continue like this. Until further notice, you're not going to be on any of the teams. You need to get help."

She tried to sit up but suddenly a cool hand rested on her head. She heard Logan growl 'Get away from her' but she smiled muzzily up at Wanda.

"Did we do okay?"

"Yeah. You did ok."

And Tora's mind shut down, determined to help fix the injuries inflicted by the fight and breakdown.

* * *

><p>"Okay, Dragon taking over, Scarlet Witch and Tora revealing unknown depths of friendliness, anything else major going to happen?"<p>

The masked woman laughed.

"Oh, Phoenix. That would be telling!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>I have a truly **horrific **cold so now I'm going off to get a honey and lemon. Also, da-da-dah! Tora reveals the big secret from way back in Chapter 46. Oh dear..._


	167. Virtual

**Memories**

Virtual

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

_She raised a hand, pleading to him. Her fingers outstretched, desperately trying to touch. One side of her face dull metal, her stomach and chest a mess of peeled-back flesh and muscle. The doctor smiled._

"_Don't worry sir. We are close to finding the problem. When we do, we'll cut it out."_

_She reached out again._

"_They're killing me, Logan! They're killing me!"_

"_They're **helping** you."_

_The knives went in and then the doctor made a triumphant noise._

"_Found it! The source of the problems!"_

_Logan leant over and blanched. Wrapped around the heart was a dark, scaly serpent. Tora was pulling at the restraints again._

"_Please no!"_

_The scalpel glinted. She was crying silently, tears sliding down her face._

"_You promised me this wouldn't happen again Logan! You promised!"_

_And instead of cutting out the infection, the doctor cut right through the four main blood vessels, raising the heart out of her chest. Her eyes rolled back and she stopped breathing. And then, before Logan could do anything, the Scarlet Witch was standing there, cleaning the blood from Tora's face, taking the diseased and damaged heart, touching it and making it whole again then returning it to Tora's chest. Her golden eyes shot open but when Logan tried to touch her she pulled away._

"_YOU PROMISED! YOU PROMISED I'D NEVER GO BACK!"_

_And the Witch grabbed Tora's arm and they both disappeared._

Logan jerked upright and gasped again. The nightmares were getting worse. Every time, Tora would die, because of something **he **had done, and every time, the Scarlet Witch would resurrect her, only for Tora to reject him.

He got up. Pulled on some clothes and walked down the corridor to the Brig. Tora lay in one of Danger's holding bays, only separate from the others –the criminals- who Danger was trying to help. But Tora was still stuck in a virtual world. The Avengers had insisted on it as part of their deal to save the Scarlet Witch. They kept the Witch and Tora wasn't handed over to the survivors of Sakaar. Scott had only agreed when Emma, Logan, Hank, Peter and Rogue had all glared at him. For a second it had looked as if he was going to refuse. Tora's little demonstration defending the Scarlet Witch had managed to make more than one person edgy. Too many secrets, not enough time to digest them in, then completely losing control and her threats to Doom. Tora –as everyone knew- didn't make threats unless she could deliver on them.

She twitched slightly and he wondered what she was seeing. He reached out to touch her hand and a voice rang out.

"No contact."

"Danger, she's my **wife**…"

"And she's **my** patient. At this time, any outside influences could do more harm than good."

He moved his hand away.

"Where is she?"

"It depends on what I think we should be working on. We have been reliving her childhood, as well as some of her best moments, trying to stabilise her. It's difficult. Anything involving the late Nightcrawler is rejected instantly."

He looked down at her lower face, which twitched up in a slight smile.

"What are you making her relive?"

"The time she first held her son. It's one of the brightest memories she has."

"Any other ones you like to use?"

"An oddly happy memory from when she was nine. It's shielded from me, hidden in one of the deepest parts of her mind, but even **I **can feel the peace there. It is what I first used when she tried to reject the therapy."

He looked down one more time then nodded.

"Tell me when I can speak to her. Even if it's just in her head."

Danger nodded.

"You must go. I plan to replay the childhood memory to her."

Tora twitched one last time before Logan left.

_She sat down against the wall, pleased that she had just beaten her record for the cross-country by three minutes. Eva collapsed down next to her._

"_Xii, you are a **robot**!"_

"_Pardon?"_

"_Don't you **ever** need to eat or sleep? Come on, you were up all night!"_

_She blinked a few times then shrugged._

"_I only need to sleep for a few minutes. And eating just slows you down."_

_Eva giggled and suddenly they were clutching at each other as they laughed hysterically together._

Tora's mouth curled up in a smile. Sure, that night they hadn't eaten and they'd only had a handful of water each, but later, when she was being driven insane, that was the one memory she focussed on. Eva, as Tora chose to remember her. Another memory was picked out to help her relax.

_Wanda grinned at Tora._

"_Come on. Look at us. Enough history to write a drama film, enough marital dysfunction to shock Jeremy Kyle and both with kids on the way."_

_Tora raised an eyebrow._

"_I can appreciate **you** being dysfunctional, married to a robot and all, but I still don't see why-"_

"_Come on, you're married to a guy about eight times your age, who happened to be the person people tortured you to try and replicate. Now **that's** dysfunctional."_

"_Says the woman whose father is in a semi-solid relationship with a teammate of mine who happens to be younger than me."_

_Wanda stared at her then sniggered. Tora grinned._

"_And whose brother has married into a race known as the 'Inhumans'. Seriously, even some of the X-Men's family dynamics are positively **normal** compared to yours."_

_That was it. Wanda burst out laughing, clutching at Tora's shoulder as she leant over._

"_You…have **got**…to join the…Avengers someday…. You would **so** give…Tony lip…"_

She smiled again before being swept away to somewhere she didn't know. A beach, long and sweeping, thick jungle behind her. She turned around carefully. Danger was walking towards her.

"Where are we?"

"This isn't real."

Tora sighed.

"Great. I've been lumped in with maniacs like Scalphunter and the Black King."

"Actually, you're taking up an entirely different virtual world, with greater freedom."

"Why am I here?"

Danger looked surprised.

"You honestly don't **know**? Dragon, you just begged two of the most powerful superhero teams in the world to kill you, then confessed to a murder before telling them you committed…how did you put it… ah, 'genocide by proxy'. They aren't inclined to trust you."

Tora dropped down.

"Why didn't they?"

"Didn't what?"

"Why didn't they just **kill** me? That's all I wanted… That's all I ever wanted… To live, to die, without my life being **messed** with…"

"Dragon…"

"Did the Young Avengers come out alright? Speed? Wiccan? Hulkling? Hawkeye? Patriot? Stature?"

"All fine. Also, Speed wants your autograph. Apparently you are 'too cool for words'."

"Okaay… Why?"

"Supposedly it's to do with spitting in Doom's eye and calling Magneto names."

"**What**?! I'd do that for **free**! I never did stuff like that to get teenaged fans!"

"Regardless, you are apparently his third favourite hero."

"Did he say his others?"

"Yes. Second is Magneto and first is Wiccan. Only that is top secret."

She smiled.

"Fine. So why am I here again?"

"Because we need to help you."

"I don't **need** help! The only help I wanted, they weren't prepared to give me!"

Danger sighed.

"I am afraid we will have to return to the therapy if you are still like this."

"Wait! Danger!"

But the robotic woman had left, leaving Tora to be thrown back into the sea of memories.

* * *

><p>"Well <strong>that<strong> was the way to sort her mental anguish out."

"Phoenix? Sarcasm?"

"You can talk."

"Phoenix, I was under the impression that our dear host **can** talk."

"Figure of speech, Death. Figure of speech."


	168. World of Torture

**Memories**

World of Torture

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"You have a visitor."

She looked up from the beach.

"Can we go somewhere else? I hate it here."

Danger nodded and they were in one of the rooms of Etana's house in Japan, decorated traditionally. Tora nodded and then knelt down at the table.

"I am ready."

She sat waiting and then she heard someone open the door. She looked up.

"Log- Oh, sorry Thomas. Or is it Speed?"

The boy looked nervous.

"Just Tommy."

"So, why have you come to see the insane X-Man?"

"I…I wanted to say thanks. You know, for helping Billy. Because I know he's a dweeb and totally obsessive and vaguely soppy but he's my **brother**. And… And for making sure I was OK. No one does that. Fine, Poison has started and…it kinda feels…nice…"

"What do you mean, they don't check you're okay? That's **wrong**."

"What?"

"A team like yours, it shouldn't **just** be a team."

"Huh?"

"It should be a **family**. And families look out for each other. First thing you do after an explosion or something is check that the others are okay."

"Well…"

"Yes?"

"Most of the time, they do check… Just not…not me."

"I think I need to have a word with your team."

"You don't have to. Curt gave them the family lecture."

She smiled slightly.

"So, why do they do that?"

He shrugged.

"At the beginning, I was just the juvie offender they kept around because I looked like Billy."

She sighed.

"Curt has that problem."

"Yeah, I still don't get how he can be your son because he looks about ten years younger than you… Unless it's like me and Billy."

"No. Nowhere near as magical. Curt… Curt was kidnapped before I even **saw** him… I…I thought he was dead… Ended up depressed. Emma managed to snap me out of it but…it didn't really work. Every time they looked away, the mask dropped and I couldn't find a reason for holding on, other than Jamie and Eva. And…then we found out that Curt had been kidnapped and forcibly aged using alien technology and trained to be a killer… Just like I was…"

Tommy blinked.

"You know… when the Young Avengers got me out, they'd been experimenting on me."

Tora sighed.

"They do that. I was only two when they got me."

"Two? What kind of sick *%$£ would do that!?"

She looked sad.

"Lots of people. But there was one in particular. I just called him 'The Professor'. For years, all my nightmares included him somehow. When I was three years old, he messed with my head. Permanently. He cut my skull open and inserted micro-computers, giving me the knowledge of how to kill a man in eighteen different ways with my **pinkie**. I could handle a gun or a sword at a high-level. I could suddenly **understand** the guards outside. And that's when my 'training' started."

Speed leant forward.

"What was it like?"

"Agony. I was punished for every infringement. I cried; my food rations were halved. I failed an exercise; I wasn't allowed to eat for two days. Cheek… I'd rather not go into what they did to me when I talked back… And…I wasn't alone. There was another girl there. Eva. I was supposed to call her Eden but I never did. She was just…Eva…"

"Your kid's named Eva…?"

"Yes. It seemed the only way I could…"

"Where is she now? The first Eva?"

Tora sighed.

"We tried to escape. I was caught. She was killed."

She turned her head away and Tommy sat back.

"They tortured you, didn't they? Dragon?"

She looked back at him. Then pulled her sleeve up. Took his hand and ran it over the scars.

"Who…?"

"I did those. When all I wanted was to get **out**. Deep enough to kill. But they always found me and 'fixed' me. They did other things to me when I refused to kill a man. I still have those scars. When they put the adamantium in… They had to inject a needle into every single bone in my body. All two hundred plus of them. You don't realise how many bones there are… Not until you have a five-inch needle sticking into every. Last. **One**."

Tommy blinked.

"Why don't people **stop** this?"

She sighed.

"We're **mutants**. The scum of the earth. Monsters. Sub-human. That's how they see us. As long as we don't mess up their pretty, petty little lives, nothing is wrong."

Tommy looked down.

"Why are they keeping you like this?"

Tora stood up.

"Have you heard of Phoenix? What she…did? What she **could** do? The woman with the power to burn out a **star**. Bring back the dead. Destroy **everything** in this universe."

Tommy shrugged.

"Only some stuff…"

"I am like her. Too like her. I am a threat. A terrible threat who has to be taken down."

Tommy stared at her.

"Just like the Witch?"

"Just like the Witch. Of course, they're hoping to avoid that. Better to have me on a leash than lose what I can do. They're trying to 'cure' me. Cure me! Of **grief**! They think that just because **they've** forgotten, I should **too**!"

"Forgotten what?"

She looked up.

"The greatest man I've ever known."

Speed looked uncomfortable.

"I…I think I need to go."

"Yes. Thank you."

He disappeared and she sighed.

"Very convincing Danger, but I wasn't fooled."

Danger appeared.

"That wasn't me. Mr Shepard took it upon himself to visit you."

Tora swore.

"You mean I just… Oh… Please Danger, can you just take me off the IVs?"

"No. My primary task is to keep you alive. My secondary task is to help you recover. No matter how long it will take."

Tora whipped around.

"They have authorised me to be stuck here **indefinitely**! They have no **right**!"

"They have **every** right."

"No, they **don't**!"

Her hand caught on one of the vases, sending it crashing to the floor. It reappeared, whole. A reminder that this was a virtual world.

"I have spent my whole **life** being manipulated and poked and prodded! My whole life, I've been an experiment, an example! Maybe I don't want that anymore! Look at me! What do you see?! Someone **happy** with their life?! No, you see someone who has lost almost **everything**!"

Danger sighed.

"Repeat memory replays."

"No! Danger, don't do this to me! DANGER!"

The room faded away.

* * *

><p>"Why were they <strong>doing<strong> that!?"

"Phoenix, they had a reason. They had a **good** reason."

"They were **torturing** her, without even **realising** it!"

"They had a **duty** to keep people **safe**! And if it was from her, so be it!"

"I can't believe you're **condoning** this!"

"I've changed."


	169. Recovery Well, Sort Of

**Memories**

Recovery –Well, Sort Of

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Danger looked at the three people. Cyclops spoke first.

"What's the subject's status?"

Logan look appalled.

"The **subject**?! She's 'the subject' now! She has a **name**, Summers. Use it."

"Dra-"

"Not that name. The **other** one."

"Fine! How's Tora?"

"No change. If anything, she's worse."

Emma sighed.

"How bad?"

"She responded well to Speed's visit but believed him to be a therapy measure conjured up by me. In her talk with him, she revealed unsettling avocations of mutant/human separation, stating that we will never be accepted by humanity."

Logan shrugged.

"Not exactly a surprise, is it? We all know she's only regarded the X-Men as a method of holding off the impeding genocide. She's **always** believed that Chuck's dream was never going to work. At times, she **wanted** to believe it. But she never **could**."

Emma nodded.

"Tora has always had a fear of humans, deep down. That much I found when I was helping her from that **regrettable** psychic crisis. To her, humanity is what tortured and hurt her. She hides it well and I believe most of the time she has fooled even herself, but she is terrified of the humans who she believes will one day kill us all."

Scott nodded.

"Rictor was like that to begin with. Scared stiff of the humans."

Danger shook her head.

"It is not fear. It is mistrust. It is worry. It is anger. But it is not **fear**."

They looked at the still body.

"How long until she's…if not back to normal, then **stable**?"

"Unknown. Her whole psyche is breaking. I am trying to fix what does not want to be fixed. She is fighting me every step of the way."

"Why isn't she **helping**?!"

Logan looked upset.

"Because she doesn't want to heal. She just wants to die."

All four pairs of eyes turned to the body lying in the separate room from the main Brig. Still. Unresponsive. Unable to move. At risk if attacked.

Scott sighed.

"We can't keep her here until we're absolutely certain she's not…er…"

"Insane?"

"Bit strong a word… Until we're sure she's **Tora** again. She's at risk. As soon as she's at a stable level, we'll release her but keep sending her back to stay with Danger for therapy in a virtual environment where she can't hurt anyone."

Danger looked worried.

"Her hacking skills are…as good as they always have been. As we speak, she is unconsciously trying to regain control over her sensory input. When she does, I will have no control over what she does in her virtual prison. Only her physical body will be in my control."

"It won't come to that."

"Scott? Why are you so sure?"

"Because, Emma, I know Tora. She's not going to try and take control. Because she knows that won't get her out of the Brig."

Scott looked at her one more time.

"Danger, when's she's ready…call me."

* * *

><p>"How long…?"<p>

"Long enough, Phoenix. Long enough."

* * *

><p>The words…humming around her. But not from her virtual world. Not the world she had stayed in for so long. No. Outside. The <strong>real<strong> world.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Her mind is stable, albeit not fully healed. She isn't going to repeat the fiasco when Doom attacked."

"Are you **sure**?"

"Cyclops, I am not wrong."

"Sorry, Danger. It's just I'm **worried**. Thank you for helping with her."

"It was my pleasure."

"Dragon? Dragon, are you awake?"

She groaned.

"Dragon?"

"Don't. Call. Me. That!"

"Sorry, Tora. I'm just…no excuse…sorry…"

She felt the visor lift up and her eyes cringed in the bright light.

"How long was I out?"

"Long enough."

"How. Long."

"Calm down, Tora."

"HOW LONG!"

"Almost a month."

Tora leapt up. Or tried to at any rate. She wobbled and collapsed. Scott caught her.

"Calm down. You've been on IVs for the last month. We'll just take you down to the canteen, get some proper food in you and then let you rest."

"I don't **need** to rest! For pity's sake, Scott, you **forced** me into a **coma**! I've had enough sleep for about a **year**! Twenty-four/seven, Danger was in my head! No respite! No time to breathe! I've been stuck in my memories! Scott, do you know what that's **like**! Being forced to replay some of your best and worst moments, all in an attempt to 'fix' you! Look at me, Scott! Do I look fixed to you!? Do I?!"

Scott sighed.

"You've been out for a while. The Avengers have smoothed things over for the incident involving the Scarlet Witch and Doom. I'm still not pleased about you going behind my back like that."

Tora raised an eyebrow.

"I think you're a hypocrite over this, Scott. Wanda didn't wipe out a **star system**, like Jean did."

"That **wasn't** Jean!"

"Are you sure it wasn't? Are you definite? Jean was capable of a lot of stuff. Rebuilding a new body and fooling everyone? Not too hard. **I** did it. Gets her off the hook regarding the genocide and allows her to run back to you."

"Tora, this sort of mental manipulation will get you sent right back to the Brig for another month. As it is, I expect you to report back here every night, sleep here in one of the pods and continue your therapy with Danger. Do you understand, Tora?"

Tora sighed.

"I understand. I don't **like** it. But I understand…"

Scott nodded.

"Now, let's get you downstairs. Your family has been waiting for you the last three hours."

Tora glared at him.

"And you didn't **tell** me?!"

"Also, Logan is due to leave with me for an arms control conference in Switzerland in about ten minutes."

"Does he **know** this?"

"No."

"Scott, what make you even **think** he'll go with you?"

* * *

><p>"Well, I suppose you could say she was okay…"<p>

"Not really. Just giving the impression of normality."

* * *

><p>She was with Scott, Emma, Logan and the Cuckoos in the Command Centre but no one questioned her right to be there, despite her having just come off the Brig. She was one of the only other members of the Alpha team still on Utopia. She stood in the shadows, listening to the arguments. Bristling quietly. Logan and Scott, at each other's throats again. Just like old times. Only not. This time the stakes were higher. She sniffed then spun around. Quire was intent on Logan and Scott. He wasn't prepared for the strike to the stomach from the shadows beside the door. Her other hand tightened around his neck and she dragged him forward.<p>

"What shall we do to him, boys? You're our leader, Scott. And Logan –well, I know **he's** going to have an opinion. What do we do with the person who just put mutant-human relations back another ten years?"

"Tora, release him. You're choking him."

She glanced down.

"You're right. I am. Give me a reason to loosen my arm. And **don't** come out with some 'X-Men don't kill' la-di-da excuse. A real, **solid** reason that I shouldn't just keep holding my arm like this until he suffocates."

"Tora, he's a teenager. A misguided, powerful teenager; but still a child. He doesn't understand what the consequences of his actions will be."

"The **consequences**! Scott, all you have to do is turn on the TV!"

Emma sighed.

"Tora, as much as I hate to admit it, can you please release him. He's turning blue."

She glanced down.

"Oh. So he is. Fine, I'll let him go. Isn't worth my time anyway."

She released him but Logan grabbed his ridiculously coloured hair and dragged him over to the comm, grumbling about calling Steve and Tora returned to her position in the shadows. When Steve called she stepped forward to cover Logan hiding Quire. Steve grinned when he saw her.

"Up and about already, Tora?"

She smiled wanly.

"Sort of. Still kinda confused. Almost like jet-lag, but jet-lag doesn't shove you back a month, does it?"

He smiled.

"The New Avengers have been asking after you. Daredevil apparently refuses to stick around after missions anymore, although I'm not too sure why. Rogers out."

Logan thrust Quire into Scott's arms and stormed out. Tora stepped forward, glancing over at the screens.

"I want out there."

"No."

"Come on, Scott! I've not been a presence for a while. They'll be prepared for speedsters, teleporters, strong guys, maybe even Storm. But they won't be prepared for me! Come on, Scott! You know what I could do out there!"

"No. I want you here."

"Why!? Tell me why, Summers! Tell me why and I'll understand! But I need to know **why**! You can't just have these little plans running without **telling** me!"

"Fine, Tora. I need you on Utopia for defence. Like you said, the Sentinels don't know you're active. If they attack, we need the element of surprise. Surprise and brute force."

Tora sighed.

"Why am I **always** the brute force? You have Piotr for that. I'm a covert operative! Remember my first mission against the Sentinels?"

Scott smiled slightly.

"I do believe you almost **died**."

"Yes, but I **did** blow up the entire facility. Hey, I **should** be out there! You know the Sentinels can't see me! As long as no humans see me, I'm fine!"

"No, Tora… Emma, what was that about the mutant rights museum being opened tonight? Will it be televised?"

Emma shrugged.

"Of course."

Scott smiled.

"Tora, you've just got yourself a job. We're about to announce to the world at large that Dragon is back and ready to defend Utopia."

Tora sighed.

"Please don't send me to a televised opening, Scott. You **know **how badly I get on with the press…"

"You don't have to say a word. Emma, call Peter, Namor, Erik and…Bobby."

Tora groaned.

"Please don't do this to me, Scott. I really don't want to go to this museum on its opening night."

"Tora…"

"Fine. But I am not being a living exhibition. And here we have a survivor of the Weapon X Program. Would you like to tell the reporters how you were tortured as a child?"

"Tora."

"What?"

"Behave."

She sighed.

"Fine, I swear I will be nice to the press. But I'm **not **posing for photos."

* * *

><p>"She <strong>really<strong> hated reporters, didn't she?"

"Oh, hated them with a passion most people reserved for traffic wardens. And bankers."


	170. Orange Croutons Zoom Zoom Butterscotch

**Memories**

Orange Croutons Zoom-Zoom Butterscotch

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"A special peace delegation from the X-Men…"

Tora walked behind Colossus, relying on his bulk to shield her from most of the paparazzi. Magneto leant over.

"I have yet to thank you for your kindness when it came to Wanda. Thank you for helping me."

Tora stared at him levelly.

"What makes you think I did it for you, Erik?"

They went in and it didn't take Tora long to escape the reporters. She walked into a room where Laurie was leaning over a collection of Magneto's helmets, chatting vibrantly to Idie. Tora walked over. Smiled at them. Pointed at the case.

"You know Erik based his helmet on the Shadow's?"

"Really?"

"Yes. His first helmet was an adamantine helmet that Etana had lent him in the War."

"Those two knew each other?"

"Yes. Etana looked after him."

Laurie looked up.

"Why aren't you with the other X-Men?"

Tora sighed.

"I don't like reporters. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to look at the bit on alternate realities. See what a mess they made of that bit, trying to explain it in terms an idiot could understand."

She was watching one of her interviews with Charles. It was when she was having one of her nightmares.

_Her face was thin and tight. She was worried._

"_Do I just…? Yeah. Okay. My name's Tora. Just Tora. One of my gifts is to link with alternate versions of myself. And… For all they call it a gift, in reality it's a curse. Sure, there are a few nice, peaceful realities. But most aren't. Most are… I'm sorry. It's just that three nights ago, in one of my others…I… Should I go back to the beginning? Yeah…"_

_She fidgeted in her chair, obviously not happy._

"_In this world, everything isn't okay… I'm… I was kidnapped when I was two years old, just like here…but…instead of everything working out sort of okay… I'll start by giving a basic overview? Yeah. There was a huge protest in Washington. They called it the March of Purity. Dr Henry McCoy was beaten to death trying to peacefully protest for mutant rights. Few weeks later, in Albany…a mutant girl's powers manifested. Out of control. Destroyed huge areas and killed six-hundred thousand. That gave the anti-mutant crowd a cause. So they started the 'Decimation'. All mutants and their human relatives were rounded up and killed. Human carriers of the X-Gene were sterilised or imprisoned. The Fantastic Four –well, three of them- were arrested for harbouring a mutant… The Exonims –kind of like Sentinels- did a 'good job' of keeping the streets clear but there was a problem. Magneto stole a load of buildings and created an easily defendable fortress to protect the remaining mutants. So the U.S. Government needed a weapon. A mutant weapon who could get in and kill them all. And… And that's where I came in. They tortured me. Turned me into a living weapon. And… And this is the bit I keep crying over… They cut out my emotions… I…I can't **feel**! You can't understand what it's like… The emptiness… The… I'm sorry."_

_She cleared a tear from her face._

"_I don't want to go into that. They decided to show me off at some big military conference. I…I escaped… I killed every last person there… And then I got out… There was an anti-mutant rally going on… I…I don't know how many people I killed… all I remember is this terrible emptiness… It…I… And I'm telling you this because it could happen here. It **will** happen here, unless we find a way of living in peace… I'm sorry… I…I just want to go now. Is that okay?"_

The video started again and Tora turned away to see Idie watching Rachel talking. She walked over and placed her hand on the girl's shoulder.

"Rachel understands. She knows what it's like for me. To see all the alternate futures. Only they aren't alternate. They're **possibilities**. All of them had chance to exist."

She heard Laurie come up and smiled at Idie.

"I'll see you around, kid. Stay safe."

Tora turned back to the video of Rachel, which had started again. She reached out and touched the screen.

"I hope the nightmares stopped, Ray. Mine haven't."

And then there was an explosion. Tora whipped around and charged in the opposite direction to the fleeing people. She skidded into the main room in time to see Hellfire grunts march in. Then she groaned, reached out to Emma.

_Kids? I draw a line at hitting kids._

_Then take the adults. There are more than enough to go around._

Tora leapt over and neatly knocked out three guards before being noticed by anyone but the X-Men. Bobby saluted her and she raised her hand in return. Then she returned to hitting people. Sighing, she opened her hands and let the waves out. They'd been lapping at the corners of her mind, begging her to use them but so far she had resisted. But in the end, the lure was too great.

The force of the water sent most of the guards flying against a wall and Tora closed her eyes as her hands moved over her head, controlling the waves. This felt **good**. Pure power. Running through her, a part of her. She was only vaguely aware of Namor falling to the ground and normally that would have put her on alert. As it was, she was dancing on the edge of oblivion. Only paying attention to her opponents, marvelling at the freedom that came with the surges and dips in power. Over and over, like surf crashing on a beach. Power peaked, she tore through exhibits. Powers dipped, she resorted to fists and feet. Powers peaked… Over and over, not realising that the peaks and troughs weren't the usual style, that something was wrong. In fact, she didn't realise that the other X-Men were down until the four children surrounded her and held up a box.

She staggered as the mental chips tried to shut her brain down but she'd bypassed **that** problem years ago.

"Voice…command…Tora…Override…protocol…six…"

She stood up straight.

"Children? I have to fight **children**? What have I descended to? That I don't see this as repulsive?"

Her arm shot out and one of the children was now hanging from her hand as her fingers tightened at his throat.

"Children… Just children…"

The boy in her hand wasn't struggling.

"You're **good**. But we're better."

Something shot at her but her claws sliced right through it and she barely glanced down before sighing.

"A Badoon brain slug? I mean **really**? I can rip those things apart with a **word**. Also, whoever sold them to you sent sub-standard ones. How much did you pay? Because if it was more than two-billion, they totally scammed you."

She dropped the boy.

"And I really should warn you. Back in the day, my husband tore through the Hellfire guards like a whirlwind. And I'm even more dangerous. I don't want to kill children, but if it comes to it, I shall collapse this whole building on us. It will kill you and quite possibly severely injure me. But I will **survive**. You won't."

"Are you sure about that?"

She staggered as something hit her back. She tried to turn but she couldn't.

"We're read all the old Weapon X files. Very interesting. And do you know what we found? Your little weakness. The one thing that they used to control you. Adamantium-twelve. The unstable variant of the very metal in your bones. We've been steadily exposing you to it. Bye-bye, Dragon."

She glanced up and the brain slug hit her right in her face. The last thing she remembered was Dragon screaming in agony. Or maybe it was someone else…

* * *

><p>Phoenix winced.<p>

"I've never been hit by one of those but I've always heard they hurt."

"They do. It basically shuts your brain down and feeds off any thoughts. It doesn't matter that most thoughts are of the calibre of 'orange croutons zoom-zoom butterscotch'. It's food."

"Please tell me you didn't…"

"I think that was one of the more coherent thoughts…"

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N.<strong> The title of this chapter is an inside joke with me and my brother. I had to fit it in **somewhere**. If anyone can tell where it's from, I'll be very impressed_


	171. Responsibility

**Memories**

Responsibility

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Tora sat up. Stared at the fed brain slug then grimaced. It felt like someone had jumped up and down on her head. She staggered forward slightly then heard Emma in her head.

_Attention all X-Men, Utopia is under attack! I repeat, Utopia is…_

Tora shot towards Emma's signature then her mouth dropped open as she skidded to a halt, staring at the giant Sentinel. And then she spotted Curt.

Emma tried to hold her back but Tora stormed towards him regardless.

"CURTIS STEVEN LOGAN, YOU ARE GROUNDED UNTIL YOU ARE **TEN**! WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR LIFE AT RISK LIKE THIS!? YOU ARE GOING TO YOUR ROOM, YOUNG MAN, AND YOU ARE NOT TO LEAVE UNTIL I TELL YOU THAT YOU MAY! _COMPRIS_?"

Poison sagged.

"Maman…"

"Room. Now."

Poison grumbled as he walked off up the slope. Tora turned around looking **thunderous**.

"Which of you **idiots** gave him permission –gave these **children** permission to fight the Sentinel!? I swear, whichever one of you it was, I shall hurt you! Children are not **weapons**! I will not allow any child to be used as a combative tool on Utopia while I am still breathing! In case you haven't remembered, I have first-hand experience with child weapons! I **was** a child weapon! I burnt and tore and screamed! WHICH OF YOU IS RESPONSIBLE!?"

She screeched the last sentence, angry and irate. Scott looked her in the eye.

"You'd rather we all died? Ouph!"

He clutched at his nose. Tora was snarling.

"Don't worry, Scott. I just broke it. I swear to you, Summers, you are worse than Weapon X! At least they were **honest** about what they did! At least they never hid their motives behind 'teaching them to defend themselves'! You're building an army, Summers! An army of children! I will not be party to this! I will not teach children to be **killers**! The world has enough pain in it already without you creating another me!"

She stormed off, tears streaking down her face. Scott clutched at his broken nose, blood streaming down his face. Then he looked up.

"Let's get clean-up started."

* * *

><p>"Ow?"<p>

"Not really. She deliberately didn't shatter the bone. Made sure it was a clean break. She still **cared** enough about him to prevent herself from permanently disfiguring him."

* * *

><p>Emma raised her eyebrow at Scott.<p>

"Also, dearest Logan is about to go through the exact same tumult that you have just suffered. In the interests of fairness, I decided to put you through what he will have. Only I was a lot quicker to end you suffering. Now. Back-rub."

Two floors up, Logan entered his room to find Tora staring out over the Bay.

"Tora? Why's none of your stuff sorted?"

She turned to look at him.

"I don't think I can go to the school."

"Tora? You were the one who reacted most violently to Scott's use of the kids in battle…"

She looked at him.

"And that's **exactly **why I shouldn't be allowed anywhere **near** the students. Logan, I can barely trust myself to hug my own **children**! What does that say about me?! Look at me, Logan! I'm not **safe**! When I hit Scott, I broke his nose! And I felt **good**! When I was fighting the Hellfire children, I wanted to **hurt** them!"

"Tora…"

She turned away.

"I'm not safe. Not to be around children, not to be around humans. I'm leaving. The X-Men can't contain me any longer. It isn't fair. On **any** of us. I've moved on. I am something **more**."

A breath caught in his throat.

"Tora… Don't do this…"

"I'm leaving."

"Going to the Avengers?"

"No. I am leaving. Forever."

"Earth?"

"More than Earth. What use am I now, Logan? I'm a monster. I can't even control my own bloodlust."

"Tora?"

She looked at him and her face was streaked with tears.

"What happened to out wonderful future? Where is our peace, Logan? I can't even hold my own darkness back. This will hurt."

She placed her hands on either side of his face and suddenly he had the feeling of being plunged into an icy pool.

_My shields have expanded to contain you. Logan, this is my ideal. This is what I have become…_

_She was staring at Scott._

"_You would make my children into soldiers?! You are as bad as the people who turned me into a weapon! You are the new Weapon X, Scott."_

_And then the claws dug into flesh and he gasped and she felt such satisfaction at hearing his gasp of pain, his scream when she withdrew her blood-stained claws, the rich iron scent of blood tasting sharp on her tongue and she hungered for more. More blood would be good. Kill. Kill. Kill. And she turned away before she tore his throat out and feasted on his flesh. Because that was what every little fibre of her being wanted to do._

Logan's eyes snapped open and all he could do was stare at Tora's golden eyes, dark with conflict.

"What **are** you?"

She kept on staring at him, refusing to let go.

"I am not safe. I…I have to leave. I'm beyond redemption."

"No."

She stared at him, eyes lost and clouded with pain.

"No one is beyond redemption. If **I** was allowed to make up for my mistakes, if Buckethead was allowed to make up for his, then you are **certainly** allowed to try and fix yours. I don't want you to leave. Neither do the kids. Think of Curt. For the first time in his life, things are looking up. He's an accepted member of the Young Avengers, as well as the X-Men. He's got a girlfriend –which I'm still reserving judgement on, by the way- and I reckon he's about as in love as a three-year-old with the body of an eighteen-year-old **can** be. He's actually **excited** about going back to the school. For the first time ever, he feels like he's worth something more to people other than us. He's **wanted**. But if you leave, that's like shoving it all in his face. Jamie? The Future Foundation is everything he wants in a school but if you hadn't noticed, he still insists on seeing us every other day. He may have intellectual equals there but we're still his **family**. And Eva? Eva needs someone to tell her I'm not **always** right and to not copy me when I start to swear. She needs someone to show her how to incapacitate a man without killing him, how to be sarcastic and tougher than Emma's diamond skin. And I-"

"Logan, you've made your point. I'll stay."

His mouth dropped open.

"Really? It was that easy? I'd already planned ahead past me, past Kitty, past Hank, past the students. I think I'd gotten through most of the Avengers and how they needed you…"

Tora raised an eyebrow.

"That must have been some of the fastest thinking you've ever done."

He shrugged.

"I was worried."

Tora let the smallest of smiles grace her face for a second.

"Has anyone asked Cia where she wants to go?"

"What?"

"You know? The **tree** girl? She's sentient, Logan. Sentient and probably capable of speech around about now."

He stopped.

"Huh?"

She sighed.

"Excuse me. I have to go and formally ask her to come with us. Then I may need to go and find a way of uprooting a mature acacia tree, transport it across a continent in the Blackbird and replant it without the poor girl dying properly this time. Can you pack for me, Logan?"

She swanned out, leaving Logan feeling rather out of his depth. Tora poked her head back in.

"Oh, I'm not taking the Headmistress post before you ask. Give that to Kitty."

And then she was gone again.

* * *

><p>"That's vaguely amusing."<p>

"She never **really **meant to leave, did she? She was just pulling Logan's leg?"

"We shall never know, Phoenix. We shall never know."

"You mean **I'll** never know! I hate you and your omniscience! It really drives me crazy, you know that?!"

The masked woman grinned slightly.

"I know."

* * *

><p>"Hello, Cia."<p>

The face smiled softly.

"Can you speak yet?"

"Sor…ta…"

"We'll work on that. I assume you've heard about the whole fight?"

"Yeah…"

"Have you made a decision? I guess no one has formally asked you?"

"…school…"

"Okay. Brilliant… You do know, I can't take all your trees. Just you."

"I…know…"

"Just checking. Hmmm. Can you move your roots much?"

"I…compress…them?"

"Can you?"

"Small…still…huge…too hard…"

Tora nodded.

"Okay, so big pot. Big, **big** pot. And a crane…"

* * *

><p>"Big, big pot? I mean <strong>really<strong>…"

"Don't diss big, big pots."


	172. Belonging

**Memories**

Belonging

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

The Blackbird was crowded, even with Cia attached to the underside. The tree-girl had insisted on being placed on the outside. Tora managed to stop two of the younger children from starting a fight with their toys and then glanced over at Curt. Who was sulking. The fight had been long and very awkward. Jubilee needed to stay on Utopia, where there was a barrier of water between herself and the people who weren't capable of shooting lasers out of their eyes. Curt was to go with his family. This did not please **either** of them. In the end, Tora had compromised. Jeanne would stay on Utopia, as a link between Jubilee and Curt. That way, they could arrange dates or messages together. The only minor problem was they had to go through Tora. But nothing about this arrangement was perfect, so Curt and Jubes had accepted, moaned a lot and made an agreement to meet up for a date three times a month.

Tora looked down at the single book resting on her lap, a slight lump in her throat. It had taken her this long to find it. Her name was scrawled in the front.

_My dearest daughter._

_In hope you will be as moved as I was by the tale. I am the Death who told this story. I am the Death who visited the thief of words three times._

_Etana._

The tale made her cry. Parts of it were obviously embellished, by the man who had heard the tale from Etana's mouth. The rest –including the interruptions- were purely Etana. Etana's views on life and death, colour and souls. Death's voice was not that of the Mistress. No, it was the voice of her servant. She who walked alone across the world, gathering souls in her arms. The one who **cared**. Who stole a book from the girl who stole books; who met a girl three times when the sky was red, when the sky was white and when the sky was black. And who felt so closely linked to the child, who cared. The child who cared about others, about words. Etana, who at times forgot that she was an angel and descended to humanity instead. Idie looked at her and Tora held out the book.

"It's based on the Shadow's stories."

Idie reached out, took the book. Ran her fingers across the front, Death dancing with a girl with pigtails and a frock. The name of the author. And finally she opened it. Tora sat in silence, staring straight ahead the whole journey but she could smell the salt of Idie's tears as the book was slid back onto her lap. A sad-happy book, a book that made you want to cry and laugh at the end. An Etana book.

And then she stepped out into the sad-happy ruins. Sad for the never-to-be dreams. Happy for the always-there memories. And then she crouched low, towards a shattered picture. The team from shortly after she joined. She was behind Charles, hands resting on the wheelchair, eyes sparkling with secrets that for the first time in her life were happy.

A hand rested on her shoulder and she looked up to see Bobby.

"Yeah. We all miss the good old days."

She stood up.

"You mean when Erik kept trying to kill us? I'm sorry, I'd **much** rather have Erik on my side."

"Come on, you and Magneto have always been like best friends. He **never** really tried to kill you. In fact, I'd say he had a **soft spot** for you."

She shrugged.

"I never waxed lyrical about Charles' dream. Erik had hopes for me. Of course, when I almost killed him…when I… I'm sorry. I don't like to remember that."

Bobby nodded.

"Yeah. We all have moments like that."

"You never have. Look at us, Bobby. Would our past selves recognise us? And if they could, would they like what they saw?"

He shrugged.

"I don't know Tora. I don't know. I reckon my fourteen-year-old self would be a bit shocked if he realised that he was going to be a living icicle for a while but… I'd like to think I'm what he'd want me to be. You?"

She shrugged.

"I don't know. I think my eight-year-old self would be pleased that I wasn't at Weapon X. I think my thirteen-year-old self would be hungry for Dragon's power…"

"Tora?"

She turned to look at him.

"And I think my fifteen-year-old self would be disgusted with me."

"Why?"

She shook her head.

"I married the person she hated the most. I accepted that I will never get justice for Weapon X. I know what she'd think of me and it's not the nicest thing in the world to know that your teenage self would hate you as much as Sabretooth."

Bobby whistled through his teeth.

"That bad, huh?"

She shrugged.

"I saw everything in black and white then. Now…Now nothing is in monochrome. Everything is a thousand shades of every colour."

She stood up and pointed.

"That the exact spot I was standing in when I met Remy for the first time. I reduced him to running screaming out the room, something about freaky crazy _femmes_ and Etana came in and asked what that nice young man had done for me to be so cruel."

Bobby laughed and pointed somewhere else.

"That's where Jean entered the Institute for the first time. Scott, Warren and Hank were going on about how pretty she was. I was an obnoxious fourteen-year-old. I couldn't care less."

She laughed softly then looked sad. Bobby followed her gaze and winced. An overgrown black headstone, now slightly crooked to one side, wings carved into the marble. Empty eyeholes stared up from the helmet that was coated in ivy. Bobby touched her shoulder.

"She belonged here. No matter what she said. This was her home. This is where she belonged."

Tora slowly shook her head.

"No. She belonged with her family. In the tomb of her father and uncle. Not here. Not in a country younger than she was. Not in a place she was always the outsider, the watcher. She belongs in Israel. She belongs to her homeland. But it wasn't home for her. Not really." She looked up. "Her home was the sky. She belonged in the air. On the breeze. Flying through clouds. That's the Etana she used to be before she was injured and flying turned from a blessing to a curse."

Bobby stared at the stone.

"What exactly happened? Because she never spoke about it."

"Ask Mystique. She **was** your girlfriend for a while."

"It was to do with Raven?"

"Raven and Kurt. Etana's wings were broken almost beyond repair when she was protecting Kurt after Raven abandoned him. She barely survived. There's a limit to the weapons you can use with a child in your arms and she couldn't teleport him. There's a reason she would never teleport with Kurt. The Brimstone Dimension was lethal to her. For all she knew, the same could be true in reverse. Also, you **really** don't want to take an hour-old infant right through the Afterlife."

"Wait, Etana teleported through the **afterlife**?"

Tora looked at him.

"She was an angel, Bobby. An angel of death. She was linked to the Afterlife. And it wasn't just Hel or the Underworld. It was the Final Afterlife."

Bobby decided to roll with it. After a while on the X-Men you learnt not to question stuff like that. Tora was blinking back tears.

"She didn't deserve to die like that. Not without recognition for everything she did. She should be commemorated every year, in every town, in every country. She saved our lives a thousand times over. And all she ever got was hatred and mistrust. She never deserved that. She had enough hardship as it was. Did you know her guardians were murdered right in front of her eyes when she was thirteen?"

Bobby blinked a few times.

"Really?"

"Can you imagine what it was like for her? Her parents both died on the day she was born. She only had her aunt and uncle to rely on. Forced to hide from others. And then suddenly she sees them cut down right in front of her. No wonder not one of those men escaped alive."

Bobby paled. It was times like this that Tora would throw you a curveball. You'd think she was back to normal then she'd casually mention a number of people dying as if there was nothing odd about the fact a thirteen-year-old girl killed who knew how many.

He glanced back at Logan. No luck.

"Tora, can you do your thing?"

Her eyes burned silver.

"Of course…"

* * *

><p>"Did she rebuild the school?"<p>

"No, just returned the land to greenfield. They were planning a new design anyway."

* * *

><p>Kitty stood in the hall, facing the students.<p>

"Right. Logan here is your new Headmaster as well as History and Combat Studies teacher. Listen to him, as his knowledge of most of the history of the twentieth century is second-to-none. I am your Headmistress. I will be teaching Ethics, Computer Science and Future History."

Beast rose.

"I am the Depute Headmaster. Science and Philosophy. Mr LeBeau will be our Sex-Ed teacher. Mr Drake has agreed to take Mathematics. Miss Grey will be teaching Psychic Defence, which is **compulsory** and Space Survival, which isn't. Rogue shall be taking the basics Linguistics classes whilst Mrs Logan shall be taking Advanced Linguistics, Mutant History and Cosmic Entities & Other Higher Beings. That is the senior staff. You are to treat all staff with respect but problems are to be taken to the senior staff. The other staff members are…"

Tora blanked them out. She heard the bit on Lockheed and Xixy taking Alien Races in two parts, Biology and Culture. Xix had followed her here. He wasn't the sort to abandon her just because she was going slowly insane. Her eyes glanced around the room. Curt hanging from the ceiling, Cia nowhere to be seen. She was out in the grounds, getting her strength back. Beast said she'd be able to move soon. She would always be stuck in the tree but she would be able to move, talk and live a semi-normal life. Tora wished the girl had a better chance at life.

She wished that **she **had a better chance at life…

* * *

><p>"Fire and agony. The first and last memories were fire and agony. No one deserves that…"<p> 


	173. Love and Hate

**Memories**

Love and Hate

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She pointed at the board.

"This session may be difficult to many of you. We are doing the Weapon Plus Program. Many of the Program's 'methods' will be described in detail. It will be graphic and disturbing. That is why all of you were vetted before being allowed to take this class."

She scribbled something up.

"Weapon Plus began with Captain America and the Super-Soldier Project. Weapon I."

She pressed a button and a slide changed.

"Abraham Erskine. He designed the Super-Soldier Serum. There have been a few peak-humans. Steve Rogers was joined by Isaiah Bradley. Close to three-hundred African-American soldiers were experimented on. That was the start of the abuses of the rights of the minority."

She flicked to the next slides and more than one student went white.

"These were some of the animals experimented on by Weapon II. Weapon III," the slide changed, "is this man here. Very little is known about him, except that he is a mutant and goes by the name Skinless Man."

She shot through another set of photos.

"The next two projects were experiments on various 'undesirables'. The Weapon Plus Project was gradually becoming more and more extreme. As seen with Weapon VI."

The man on the screen had the Stars and Stripes tattooed across his face.

"This man is dangerous but I have nothing but pity for him. From his birth he was manipulated and tortured until he was unstable. In Vietnam they carved that into his face. He must **never** be approached. Understand?!"

The students nodded. The door open and Tora ignored it. Logan and the inspectors.

"Weapon VII and VIII had no major 'successes'. They focused on sleeper agents and assassinations. Weapon IX… That was cybernetics. And now… Weapon X. X went rogue. Broke away from the main Weapon Plus fold. Incidentally, the first, and most famous Weapon X is standing in the back of the room right now."

Everyone turned to look. Tora coughed and they turned back.

"Weapon X worked on creating mutations and enhancing existing ones. Members of Weapon X include Deadpool, Team X, Native, the X-Plus project of which X-23 was the first and only success…" Images were flashing up and then her voice lowered to almost a whisper.

"…And Weapon X-ii. Ten Version Two. Dropped as a failure. Quite possibly the most successful failure ever. I will never speak of this again, understand? I have enough of that at night. I do not want to revisit it during the day as well."

The image was of her at about nine. Her eyes were staring up hopelessly, hand reaching out in a silent plea. Blood streaked down over her face. Hair cut into a tight bob. Tora at one of her weakest moments. The slide changed.

"Weapon XI was the first to be located in the World. After the fiasco of Weapon X, the Weapon Plus Project was moved to a 'safer' locale. I cannot find anything on this Weapon despite my best efforts. All I can believe is that the poor subject lived and died in agony. Weapon XII was the Huntsman. Zona Cluster 6. Long story but he was destroyed. He was part of the idea to make mutant genocide seem 'acceptable'. And I do believe you know **this** 'charming gentleman'. Charlie Cluster Seven, also called Jean-Phillipe, Fantomex and Weapon XIII. Unlucky Thirteen for Weapon X. He is a mutant with NanoSentinel technology implants. Both XII and XIII were born and raised in the World, which had time-warping capabilities. Fantomex is suave, a thief and one of the most annoying men I have ever met. Also, he's British. Do not let the phoney accent fool you."

That got a giggle.

"And I believe five members of Weapon XIV came to this very school. The Stepford Cuckoos. You call them the Three in One. The number is actually closer to few thousand. It's just only five were woken. All of them together would be capable of exterminating the entire mutant race, even at our peak. Do not underestimate them. They were designed as a 'Phoenix Trap'. **Never** underestimate the manipulation of John Sublime."

She pinched her nose.

"Finally. Weapon XV. Ultimaton. The most advanced living weapon in existence. There are rumours of a Weapon XVI called 'Allgod' but these are unsubstantial at best."

A hand was raised.

"Yes?"

"How do you know all this?"

Her eyes flashed for a second.

"I have made it my life's work to find out whatever I can about Weapon Plus. And then I will tear it apart. I'm still torn about the Thousand-In-One. We could successfully boost the mutant population but… There is no guarantee… Nevermind… Now, the Weapon Plus Project… Yes?"

This was directed at the inspector who had raised a hand languidly.

"Ms Logan?"

"**Mrs** Logan. Yes?"

"Do you really think it is **suitable** to tell teenagers about this?"

Tora raised an eyebrow.

"One of the students at this school was kidnapped by Weapon Plus as a child, forcibly aged and trained as an assassin. It is almost certain that we will be attacked by Weapon Plus and its anti-mutant propaganda again. They need to know what they're facing. Ruthless, inhumane and deadly. Also, the Weapon Plus Project has shaped mutant history and that is what this lesson is about. You would not object to me teaching the Holocaust to teenagers, would you? Now, if you'll excuse me… Weapon Plus was funded by the US Government… **What**?"

"Are you turning them against the State, Mrs Logan?"

Her eyes shone.

"I have proof that a high-ranking defence agent came to watch me training. He ordered my training to be increased and my discipline harshened. I am stating the **truth**. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a lesson to teach."

She returned to the board.

"Copy up the notes."

* * *

><p>"She really <strong>hated<strong> John Sublime, didn't she?"

"She was prepared to let bygones be bygones. Until Sublime kidnapped her son. And then she was going to kill him. All she had to do was wait."

* * *

><p>Cia was swaying in the breeze, roots dug deep into Krakoa's back. The eyes looked up.<p>

"I can read him. We're linked. He sustains me. I provide company. He's kind of sweet."

"Well, that saves the energy, doesn't it?"

"Yes. Moving still hurts. But I like it here. Krakoa's…easy to get along with. Comfortable, if that makes sense?"

"Like an old friend?"

Cia nodded.

"It's a kind of symbiosis. I give him a voice and help take the pain. He keeps me alive."

"Pain?"

"He was tortured. He lives in agony. I can take the pain up through my roots. Keep it to a level we can both contain."

Tora nodded.

"Splitting the pain, whittling it down. Sharing memories, linking. Careful. You'll end up _Makrrrst_."

Cia made a non-committal noise.

"It'd be kind of nice… To be reliant on someone and to know they needed you as well. Equal friendship. It's rare for me to have that…"

Tora nodded sadly before walking away. For who was her equal?

* * *

><p>"No equal. You were dead, Jean and Tora was forced to remain away from Wanda."<p>

"For good reason…"

"Death, there was **no** reason for tearing apart people like that."

Phoenix sighed.

"She was always so **secretive**. I only found out how close she was to Wanda years on…"


	174. Lost and Found

**Memories**

Lost and Found

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Mozart's Requiem played loudly from the door. Curt tapped on the door. The music increased in volume. He knocked again. The blast of sound caused Poison to twitch in discomfort.

"MAMAN!"

The music lowered in volume but she opened the door.

"Yes?"

"I'm going to meet Jubes."

"Where?"

"New York. It's easier for her to get here than me to get there."

Tora nodded sharply, closed the door and the music was soon back up to volume. Curt knew why she was listening to that. Kurt's collection of music had contained a rather substantial classical compilation. One of Curt's happiest memories was hiding in the shadows, watching his mother and Kurt sitting on the sofa, backs together, reading and listening to Mozart. There was such a sense of peace and companionship bleeding off them that the whole room felt warm and snug. All the scene had needed was a fire.

When times were bad –and they almost always were nowadays- then all Curt had to do was remember the room and the Mozart and the sense of calm. And everything was alright.

* * *

><p>The music echoed around the room. Phoenix smiled at her friend.<p>

"That doesn't sound the same."

The masked woman nodded.

"It's actually a borrowed telepathic version of how he planned for it to sound. Before he died. It means a great deal to me."

"Of course it does."

* * *

><p>Logan wasn't quite certain what he wanted to do. One part of him wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake some sense into her. Another wanted to try and talk her out of the stupor she seemed to live in now. Another wanted just to hold her close and wait for her to cry. But none of the parts seemed to have a majority so he did nothing.<p>

He did nothing and lay in their bed with a huge rift between them, knowing that if something didn't stop this soon, then whatever scraps of their marriage that were left would be beyond salvaging. She was drifting away from him, from **everyone**, gradually, at glacial speed. But glaciers still moved. And when they did, nothing was the same.

At times he even wondered where the Tora he had married was. Because she hadn't been listless, empty or lost. The three main words that people used to describe Tora nowadays. Three words that would have never been used six years ago. This Tora… Her eyes were dark. No spark of joy. No hint of sarcasm in her tone that used to saturate everything she said. She was distancing herself from everyone. Logan knew she was preparing to die, trying to make it easier for her friends to move on but she was causing as much pain now as she would when she finally gave up. Xix had opened up some more. She would die in one of two ways. The more common way would be to have an 'accident'. There were few things capable of killing Tora and Logan knew she wouldn't leave the kids. Not like that. So what would happen instead would be a slow, degenerative wasting away. She'd just keep on trying to ignore the 'Call' and in the end she'd die. Of bitterness, or loneliness, or just final acceptance. Logan dreaded the morning he would wake up and her eyes would be staring up, cold and empty, towards the ceiling. He wouldn't even **know**. She recoiled from him. More than once…

More than once he'd taken out a vial, rolled it in his fingers. It would be so easy, when they were practising. State he'd gone to fight someone with a healing factor earlier and forgotten to clean it off. It would be easier for her. A simple 'accident' and she'd be happy. At peace. But the selfish part of him refused. He was the one who married her, not Kurt. That was the part that screamed. Why was **Kurt** her _Makrsst_? Why not him? Had she been lying to him, had they **both** been lying to him? But the rational part of him pushed those thoughts away. Because it was plain to see the love between Tora and Kurt had simply been that between two souls so alike they **had** to find each other. Because Tora had once admitted something to him.

"_I don't always find you. But I always find Kurt. And he… Logan, he is my best friend, confident, and the best man I ever meet."_

He reached out softly and moved her hair from her face. She twitched then settled back. It may be selfish, but he wasn't going to let her go just yet.

* * *

><p>"I can <strong>feel<strong> the angst."

"Death…"

"Sorry. But you know I can't resist."

* * *

><p>Fingers darted across the keyboard. The codes shot across the screen and Tora continued to type, bypassing the security like it was of no interest to her. You'd think SHIELD would have more impressive firewalls. She was going back, trying to find… There!<p>

_Weapon X-ii_.

The details… All of it… Funding, men in charge, plans. And finally the most brutal of all. A signing of agreement from the Director. Nick… Nick had known… He had known and done **nothing**! Tora stood up, eyes flashing. A confrontation was in order. No. Not now. She sat back, continued. Downloaded everything, then severed the connection before it could be noticed. She read the files and then got up, walked to the door, grabbed a coat and marched to Logan's office. He wasn't there. Frowning, Tora went to Kitty's. She was there.

"Where's Logan?"

"I don't know. He's vanished. I think he took Curt somewhere. Something about Warren… I'm not sure… He was very **vague**."

Tora nodded.

"Fine. I'm just going to see Nick Fury about…"

"No, you aren't. We're too many staff down as it is. You are staying here until Logan gets back."

Tora raised an eyebrow but Kitty grinned.

"I'm your boss now, remember? And I'm **loving** being able to order you about."

* * *

><p>Phoenix smiled at Tora's exasperated rolling of the eyes.<p>

"Only two people I knew could make such a point with so little effort. Tora and Etana."

"Well, Etana learnt it from Tora and Tora learnt it from Etana so there's no real surprise."

Silence for a while. Then…

"My head hurts just **thinking** about that…"


	175. Lost Souls

**Memories**

Lost Souls

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

_She limped forward, resting as much of her weight as she dared on Kurt's shoulder. Blinking in the light, she stepped forward onto the podium with the rest of the Resistance's High Command. The cheering ceased almost instantly. Then a voice shouted out._

"_What's that piece of Apocalypse Spawn doing up there!?"_

_She barely opened her mouth to defend herself before Steve was glowering at the crowd._

"_Tora has been with us from the very beginning. She has given up the most of all of us. She has been our spy in Apocalypse's Inner Circle since the very start. And… she offered her life in place of the woman I love…"_

_Etana stepped forward, her eyes flashing dangerously._

"_I would have failed unless Tora was forced to sell her morals to keep the Guards at bay. You would still be under Apocalypse's reign unless she had spied for us, lied for us, given up hope of ever surviving. This woman tried to take my place for the assassination of En Sabah Nur. She has long been one of our most important members. This is the woman who helped us evacuate Ohio. The mystery assassin of Archangel. We owe her everything. The Resistance would have been destroyed without her."_

_Tora smiled then gasped again. It hurt. The shattered blade had healed as a part of her and she hadn't told the others out of fear of them panicking. Maybe she should have…_

_Kurt was trying to lower her down, staring at her, eyes wide and afraid._

"_Tora! What's wrong?!"_

"_Sword… Hurts… Kurt…? Please… Find Jamie… Find my son…"_

"_Steve! The blade is still in! We have to get her down to Magnus! NOW!"_

_But she could see the black crowding her vision and she knew that the Master of Magnetism would be too late. There were poisons in her system now, huge amounts of poison, enough to stagger her healing. Remove the metal and catch a vital organ, she wouldn't heal. She half-opened her mouth to speak then closed it. Better to be a martyr for the cause than the most reviled member._

xXx

"_My name is Marie Circen. They called me Dragon. My husband…Logan, Wolverine… My children… Eva…Curt… Taken from me before I even knew them. And I blamed the X-Men. They were supposed to protect my family. So I was determined to make them experience my loss. I wanted them to live as I had done, forever in mourning. So I hurt them with their darkest fears, deepest secrets. I manipulated the Shi'ar to attack us, killing a close friend in the process. But still I wanted vengeance. The Brotherhood, -composed of those they tried and failed to save. I fell. And dragged the X-Men with me."_

_Iceman stood in silence, looking on at the bright silver light._

"_She killed me… She caused the Shi'ar to melt me and boil me away to steam. And then she brought me back… I'll never know why but we have to **run**. She's doing it again… The Young Avengers have destroyed us all…"_

_Jessica was staring at the woman in the centre of the light._

"_You've got to give the Logan kids credit. They found her, which is more than anyone else has done."_

_Beast coughed, embarrassed._

"_Well…not **exactly**…"_

_Bobby glanced at him._

"_You too?"_

"_In Transia. Which I think was deliberate, seeing as that was one of the few European countries she didn't travel through as a child. We had coffee. She didn't recognise me."_

"_Same here. We had…coffee. We had coffee too…"_

_Jewel glared at him._

"_You **slept** with her?"_

_Beast coughed._

"_**What**?!"_

_Even under the layer of ice, Bobby's face was going red._

"_Can we focus on the impeding catastrophe, not on whether I may or may not have slept with a former teammate whose father would **kill** me if he found out? You know? The Shi'ar? The Brotherhood? **Dragon**?"_

"_Bobby, I don't think the threats are to us… Watch…"_

"_They're attacking **Dragon**? Great, she's trying to kill herself."_

_Curt's face was white._

"_We have to stop her! Teddy, would you…?"_

"_No."_

"_Teddy, that's my **mother**!"_

"_She's not able to help you now."_

"_But…"_

"_Cassie, please… You know what it's like…"_

"_Okay."_

_Then Curt was at level with Dragon, reaching towards her._

"_Stay back! My husband… My friends… My children… The students… All dead because of **me**. I deserve this…"_

"_Marie, please **listen** to me! Your friends are alive. Your husband is remembered as a hero across the world. And your children… We're alive…"_

"_What?"_

"_How do you explain me and Eva, twins, both of whom used to have healing factors and who have red and black hair?"_

"_Poison… **This** is what everything is about? You think you're my **son**? That's not possible…Curt was a baby… So was Eva… You've done all this because you think I'm your **mother**? Just because you were a part of Weapon X?"_

"_You **are**. I **know** you are. You **have** to be… Please… Use your sense of smell or something…"_

_Her eyes glowed silver and then he felt like someone was pulling him apart, gently seeing what he was made of._

"_Well…?"_

"_I'm sorry…"_

"_You mean…?"_

"_I should have recognised you immediately. What sort of mother am I that cannot recognise her son?"_

_And then her arms wrapped around him and he felt the tears streaking across her face._

"_Please…forgive me…"_

"_There's nothing to forgive."_

"_No. There's a great deal to forgive."_

"_C'mon. You have to meet Eva…"_

_Marie flew down gently._

"_Eva?"_

"_Eva, I know you've never cared as much about this as I do but…"_

"_No. Did I ever tell you why I stopped calling myself Tigress like Nate originally called me? Why I started calling myself Wolverina instead? Because the X-Men aren't going to let **anyone** ever see her as anything other than what she really is. She killed her friends; her husband –our **dad**; wiped out almost an entire **species** and also killed **kids**. She's going to have to pay for that. And it doesn't matter if she is sorry or not, they're still going to take her away. She's either going to have to disappear again or be disappeared. And so in the end, it doesn't matter. We're never going to have a mother. She'll either be dead or on the run. So what's the point? Admit it, Curt. We're basically never going to have a family because one man got greedy and took us both."_

"_There was a point to it all. You've brought a criminal back to face justice. And… And I can see that my children are everything I hoped they would be. In fact, you are more. I…I wish I were good enough for you."_

_And then Bobby walked over, his voice torn between relief and coldness._

"_Marie?"_

"_Bobby… I'm… I cannot…"_

"_I reckon because you brought me back, we're even for you killing me. Also, the Avengers are coming."_

"_Yes, about that… What are you doing here?"_

_Bobby blinked._

"_You brought me back but…the X-Men weren't the same. Hank and I left shortly afterwards. The Avengers are coming but… If Scott finds out…"_

"_I'm not leaving, Bobby. I have to face up to what I did."_

_Bobby flushed._

"_Look, do you remember anything from Transia? When did you go to Doom?"_

_Marie's eyebrow raised._

"_Is this about you visiting?"_

"_Ah… So… That **was** you?"_

"_Why are you interested?"_

_Jessica grinned._

"_Doombot."_

_Dragon's eyes were fixed on the horizon. Eva stepped forward._

"_She can't stay. The Avengers will **kill** her."_

"_No they won't. They **avenge**. That isn't killing… I think… Besides, Pietro and Wanda won't let that happen."_

"_Try telling Angel that. He won't stop until he's killed Marie."_

"_You shouldn't have stopped him."_

_They turned to look at Marie._

"_I deserve to die. I remember the deaths of the students… My students… I killed them… I killed **children**. I have to die for what I've done."_

_Beast blinked._

"_No you don't. What if you **undo** it? Phoenix was capable of resurrection. You should be as well. And if you repower the mutants…"_

"_Henry… I don't know if I **can**."_

"_You can **try**. You said three words at the end of the reality-warping fiasco and in doing so, robbed almost every mutant of their powers. What if you **unsay** it?"_

"_Hank, it's not as simple as that… Dragon is a will unto itself. I can't always control it. I treated mutation as a disease when I did…what I did… I don't know if I'll be able to consider mutation as the healthy alternative now…"_

"_Trying is all that matters. We need a mutant, a depowered mutant and we can…"_

"_Come on. Who's desperate and/or stupid enough to be our former mutant guinea pig?"_

_A phone call later, Jamie Madrox stood in front of her, his eyes dark._

"_Give me one reason that I shouldn't call the X-Men right now. Or better still, why I shouldn't run you through."_

"_I can help you. I can undo it…"_

"_Your siblings already tried. The Scarlet Witch did **nothing**. And Quicksilver caused mutants to get their powers back with exposure to the Terrigen Mists. They exploded."_

"_But this is different. I **can** help them. All I have to do is…"_

_A finger jabbed into her chest._

"_You've done enough already. Your husband is **dead**, along with far too many friends of mine. And children. I think you had a student you considered your protegee. What was her name…? Oh yes. Laura Kinney. Do you know how she died? The Phoenix Force consumed her. And not just her body. All those you killed in the attack on the Institute can't come back. The Phoenix devoured them all."_

"_I'll do it."_

_She turned to Rictor._

"_Are you sure?"_

"_Certain."_

"_Good. I will do everything in my power to fix this."_

_Shatterstar pointed his hand at her._

"_If you hurt him, I **will** kill you."_

_Her eyes were older than anyone had ever seen them._

"_Shatterstar, if I hurt him, I'll have killed myself before you get close to me."_

_And then she placed her hands on the man's head and the Dragon touched his head as they both screamed in agony. And then the building shook and Rictor leapt up and flung his arms around her, whispering "Thank you, thank you, thank you."_

"_There is nothing to thank."_

_And then her head shot around and her voice was laced with dread._

"_They're here. The X-Men are here. And they aren't here to ask me to repower the mutants."_

_She walked out as the Avengers and the X-Men prepared to fight. Wanda ran to her and flung her arms around her neck._

"_Marie!"_

"_Wanda. I…forgive me."_

_Then Quicksilver, gently wrapping his arms around her._

"_Sister."_

"_Pietro."_

"_They-are-going-to-kill-you-so-when-I-give-the-signal-we-run-are-you-ready?"_

"_Thank you. But I've spent my whole life running. Now's the time to stop."_

_Magneto moved towards her and she smiled softly._

"_Marie."_

"_Father."_

"_I shall protect you."_

"_You must promise to let me handle this myself."_

_And then she faced the Avengers, stoic and alone._

"_Captain." A swift nod of the head._

"_Marie."_

"_I wish for all here to know I take full responsibility for what I have done and that I am prepared to do whatever I can to remedy it. Once I have fixed the damage I have wrought I shall surrender myself to be imprisoned or destroyed as those who were wronged by me see fit."_

_And Cyclops stepped forward, his visor glowing ominously._

"_You don't get to negotiate on behalf of our kind, Captain. Dragon comes with us. We hold her accountable for what she has done and we will not rest until she is brought to justice."_

_And then Eva was in front of her mother and reached up to her mask. When she pulled it off, everyone froze for a long moment. Golden eyes, red hair and a dark black streak. She could be the younger version of the woman behind her except for the streak being on the opposite side._

"_Yeah. I'm Eva Logan. I'm the girl you all thought was dead. You all gave up on me and my brother. You were supposed to **care** for us, not let Weapon X kidnap us and turn us into weapons. You were supposed to **help** my mother. But when she loses her children you don't try and help her. No, you pretend nothing ever happened, make her continue to act as normal. Made her walk down streets where mothers and children were together. You never **asked**! YOU NEVER OFFERED TO HELP HER! YOU DID IT YOURSELVES! YOU'RE MEANT TO BE THE GOOD GUYS BUT YOU'RE GOING TO KILL A WOMAN WHO WENT MAD WITH **GRIEF**! You all **disgust** me. In fact, I don't want to be a Young Avenger anymore. I don't want to be linked to **either** of you. You're all so petty and small."_

_Angel's finger pointed behind Eva._

"_So you're prepared to be linked to the woman who basically exterminated the mutant race."_

_And Eva pulled herself up to her full height._

"_At least she **admits** she's done wrong. But all you holier-than-thou 'heroes' can't admit you brought it on yourselves. She's braver than the rest of you."_

_And Magneto stepped up besides Eva._

"_My granddaughter speaks sense. We are all responsible for the loss of the children and also responsible for refusing to help Marie when she was in desperate need."_

"_Stand aside, Erik."_

"_She is my **daughter**. I will protect her with my life."_

"_Yes. An illegitimate daughter who you didn't even know existed until she was in her mid-twenties. A daughter whose mother died trying to protect her from your enemies. Where were you when she needed you?"_

"_We all have our regrets. I have never sent my children to a dystopian future from which there is no escape."_

"_Which I only did because your **daughter** forced my hand! Say goodbye, Erik."_

_The blast was unexpected, right at Marie but then her hands were out and everyone but the Young Avengers fell to the ground._

"_You are behaving like **children**! And I shall treat you as such."_

"_You do know they're going to wake up?"_

"_I know. But I've bought us time. I need **answers**. And I know where to get them."_

_Silver blossomed from her hands._

"_We need to get to safety."_

"_Okay. Right, let's not jump to a hasty conclusion that just because she's come running back to Dr Doom…"_

_And she turned back._

"_Victor has only **helped** me. He was the only one who tried to help me get my children back. He has been my ally from the start."_

"_The start of **what**? Was it Doom that did all this?"_

"_No. It was me. I remember most but not all. When I thought my children dead, I went for help. The Afterlives yielded no clue and neither did the magics of Strange and Voodoo. So I came to Victor. He agreed to help me, despite us being enemies. I…I remember the start but… then the memories fade."_

"_Marie already held a portion of the Dragon Song, the personification of healing and knowledge, I used my powers to bring the rest of it to her. The power –we had hoped- would make her strong enough to bring her children back. But… The Dragon is primal at its core. A mortal could hold a portion of it but the entirety… It was too much for her mind to handle, gave her a **god's** power over reality and… the force we unleashed could not be controlled and brought about the events that you all know. She vanished and I found her in Transia months later. I dare not tell her of what happened for risk of losing her."_

"_Victor, we have to fix this. We **must**."_

"_And so we shall. After all, one here other than you commands the power of the Dragon."_

_Curt frowned._

"_Who?"_

"_You."_

xXx

_Tora ran towards the collapsing figure on the beach as the Sentinel fell into the sea._

"_ETANA!"_

_The woman folded up onto the ground, breathing heavily as Tora skidded to a halt. The right arm was a tangled mess of blood and metal and as Tora watched, the metal began to move up the arm. Before she could stop her, Etana had a long knife in one hand and brought it down viciously on the bicep, just above the elbow. The blade was obviously enchanted, cutting through flesh, muscle and bone like they were butter. Tora crouched down and sent water to lap around the bloodied stump; hoping, willing that the limb would regrow as Etana's eyes rolled up in her head._

* * *

><p>"So a revolutionary, a lost soul and a hero. How…contradictory…"<p> 


	176. Jealousy

**Memories**

Jealousy

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"Stop, you **idiots**!"

Logan looked up from the fight. Tora was standing there, eyes blazing and face twisted in anger.

"Victor, Kurt, stop killing the reality-jumpers. And Logan, you have an awful lot of explaining to do when you get home. And Curtis Steven Logan, you are grounded until you are twenty."

She leapt down and straightened up and Logan saw the same tattoo as this Kurt had over her left eye, only hers was stark white with a thin black line running through it.

"We need to take this to the boss. Now."

"But…"

"Victor, I am leader here and I say they are no threat. Kurt, stop stabbing Wade."

Deadpool looked up blearily.

"Hey, a hot Tigress who isn't taken. Can I date you?"

Nightcrawler instantly stabbed him again.

"No one talks to Tora Bat Etana like that."

"Kurt…"

"Sorry."

* * *

><p>Death sighed.<p>

"At least he wasn't thrown off a building, as I believe **she** once did to him…"

The masked woman laughed.

"Oh, that was **wonderful**…"

* * *

><p>He looked down, seeing this other version of Tora standing in front of a gravestone, hand resting over the name. Jean sighed<p>

"We lost the Shadow in battle. Tora took it badly. Etana was everything to her. She was the one who broke Tora out of the pens and gave her a name. They were both broken women in a way. Etana was…she was Apocalypse's personal slave and she hated him. Tora was there when Etana died and it was like she had lost her world. Etana was…well, she was everything we needed as a leader. Strong, wise, well-known by the Human Council. If she were still alive, we might not be in this mess. It took Kurt to get Tora out of her hell."

"What?"

"Look."

He gazed down to see the other Kurt walk up behind Tora and touch her shoulder. She turned, sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. The man wrapped his arm around her and then tilted her head back to kiss her. Logan looked away before he did something foolish. Because that was one of the images from his nightmares.

* * *

><p>"Oh, the possessiveness rolling of it is absolutely <strong>marvellous<strong>."

"Death, stop being an **idiot**."

* * *

><p>"They will not be safe from retribution."<p>

"Right. I'm staying."

Tigress's arms were crossed.

"Tora, we can't lose you and Kurt…"

"I am not leaving him. He's my man and I like it here."

"Two Toras? Oh Heaven forbid…"

"Shut up Fantomex."

Logan closed his eyes.

"What does my Tora say to that?"

"Buster, I am going to skin you alive. And of course she can stay. I need some intelligent conversation."

He span around and gulped. His Tora was standing there, arms crossed as well.

"Er…how did you get here?"

"Easy. I used the Dragon's Eye. And you have a lot of explaining to do to me. Hello 295."

"Hello 618. How are things?"

"Right now, I want to skin my husband alive. You know, it is interesting that we can't link if we're in the same reality. Hello Kurt. And Jean. And Victor."

Jean was staring at her.

"Oh… Are you Dragon?"

"Voila! That's me. Excuse me, Logan, I want to get to know my darling counterpart. In the flesh, as it were."

Both Toras wandered off and they just stood and watched as their arms started waving about their heads.

"Do you think something's wrong?"

Sudden laughter split the air.

"No, I think they're just plotting to make our lives misery."

* * *

><p>"Is the plural of Tora; Toras or Torae. Or maybe Torie…"<p>

"Death?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

* * *

><p>Beast's eyes widened. But he wasn't expecting the Kurt doppelganger to leap between him and Tora, reaching a hand out.<p>

"You stay away from her, understand!?"

Tora sighed.

"Kurt, our McCoy tortured him as well. I am **quite** capable of looking after myself. Also, I do not need protecting. When it comes to it, I will be the one who rips Henry McCoy in half. Just like he did to me."

A long moment's pause. Then, "Tora?"

Another head popped up from the back.

"Different Tora."

"Oh… Er…"

The woman behind Kurt stepped out and the tattoo sealed it.

"Look at me. Really **look**. Do I look like the woman you know?"

The answer was no. They were the same height and build, face the same shape, hair the same colour. But they were not the same. One had scars on the right side of her face, the other a pure white tattoo on her left eye. The hair of the Other Tora was shorter, kept in closer control. And then there was the fact she was dressed in black and white, Tigress not Dragon. But most telling of all was the little spark of life in the golden eyes. And the jealously present in the other's.

* * *

><p>"Oh, poor dear. She was <strong>jealous<strong>."

"Death?"

"I know, I know. Shut up."

"Kindly."

* * *

><p>Tora stood in the window, staring down at them. Her own self and her Kurt. Walking together, arms linked, talking softly and warmly together. Jealously consumed her. She knew it was wrong. Knew her other sensed that something was wrong but neither voiced their misgivings. They only went out in the dark, at night, and only on the side of the school the staff quarters were on. Tora stared down once more. The window was dark but she had no doubts that if either of them looked up, they'd see her. But they were too busy talking, discussing their past and future. Tora knew that Tigress wanted to stay here. That to her, this world was her ideal. She was free of the memories of the pens. The pens she had been forced to live in, Apocalypse's solution to Weapon X. Tora knew that she could stand Hank, if only because of his different appearance. She dreaded what would happen when Tigress met Scott. The true monster of her nightmares. After all, Cyclops had been the overeager young leader of EMF. Too ready to abuse his power, to make the defiant girl who was McCoy's pet project bow to him. McCoy had cared too much for his project to let her be seriously harmed. Cyclops' loyalty to Sinister had made him determined to ruin McCoy's favourite. The beatings, injuries and cuts always healed. The emotional scars didn't. Tigress's hatred of Cyclops expanded beyond her own reality, no matter how irrational that hatred was. Tora looked down one more time then turned away.<p>

Her heart died a little more.

* * *

><p>"And Logan didn't even realise he was killing her."<p>

"How was he to know?"


	177. Comparison

**Memories**

Comparisons

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"Darkholme!"

Kurt turned to see Tora, the other one, Dragon, striding towards him, an unreadable expression on her face. He wondered what he'd done wrong, whether he'd upset her somehow. Unlikely. She was too polite to do something like that.

Then suddenly she swept in and kissed him on the cheek. When she drew back, he could see the mistletoe held deftly between two fingers and the tears streaking down her face.

"Merry Christmas, Elf."

And she walked away, a definite sense of defeat in the slump of her shoulders. Kurt shrugged. Everything that woman did defied reason. She was illogical in every way.

* * *

><p>Phoenix blinked.<p>

"That was her and Kurt's custom… I'm sorry… I'm **sorry** I wasn't there…"

* * *

><p>The two Toras were walking along the corridor together, talking softly under their breaths.<p>

Kurt Darkholme stared after them. They were an enigma, the pair of them. Both were very…guarded, but in different ways. His Tora, Tigress, was iron-hard and it was very, **very** hard to get past her barriers, but when you did, _Gott _it was worth it! The other, Dragon, was different. For all her supposed openness, Kurt could sense the barriers. He actually knew that he was scared senseless by both of them.

For all Tigress made a merciless and efficient killer, Dragon also terrified him. Because he knew that she, that **both of them**, were good women. And a good person will kill you with barely a word. Etana was the same. When she killed someone, it was always quickly, efficiently, in as pain-free a manner as she could devise. There was no torture, no gloating. Many times, Etana's 'victims' never even knew she was there. He had seen her once teleport with such precision, the man had been decapitated whilst the cloud was still vanishing. Even after extensive training and fighting in the field, he could never be as good as Shadow.

He remembered the day she had turned up at the door to the house he shared with his mother, propping up a comatose teenager with her uninjured arm.

"_RAVEN!"_

_His mother froze._

"_Etana. What… How… You escaped!"_

_The black woman nodded, then gestured to her bleeding arm._

"_I got injured. I needed help. And you still… You're still my friend."_

_Raven whipped around to the fifteen-year-old boy._

"_Kurt, medical supplies! Now!"_

"_The girl… You have to treat the girl…"_

"_Etana, that wound is infected. I'm not letting you go out to die!"_

_Etana glowered at his mother._

"_Dammit Raven! This girl has heavy-metal poisoning and is already half-dead with starvation! She's one of McCoy's experiments!"_

_That shut his mother up._

"_Get her on the table."_

_The body was stretched out, emaciated, covered in blood, filth and gore. Kurt stared at her._

"Vas_…"_

"_Kurt, this is Etana. You might not remember her, but she helped me when you were born."_

_The woman nodded and he got a glimpse of her right arm, shredded flesh hanging off the bone. She gave him a slight smile._

"_I've had worse kid. Help your mother. The girl is my priority."_

"_Why?"_

_His mother glared at the stranger._

"_Because she's an idiot and that's what she does. Kurt, give me the antibiotics. She cut out her tracker and the wound's become infected."_

_He handed them to his mother who was already cutting the blood-soaked clothes from around the many, terrible wounds._

"_Etana, this girl is going to die."_

"_Not if I can help it. Just get her clear, I'll do the rest."_

"_Healing? Etana, you're too weak!"_

"_I have all this blood dripping on your floor. I might as well do something useful with it."_

_Mystique sighed then nodded. The woman ran her arm over the girl's cuts, and Kurt leapt forward, grabbing her arm. Then screamed. The small scratch on his finger from earlier now burned like acid was poured into it. His mother dragged him back._

"_STUPID BOY! Etana's blood will burn you!"_

_As Kurt watched the injuries started to heal on the girl. Etana, the woman, was grimacing as more and more blood poured out of her. Finally the last of the girl's injuries were healed and she allowed Mystique to clean and bind the shredded arm. Metal-poisoning tablets were carefully washed down the girl's throat and then Raven sat down and glared at the dark skinned woman._

"_Right. Talk."_

_And she did, using names Kurt had never heard. McCoy, Sinister, Prelate Summers, Magneto, Weapon X, Apocalypse. Wait, he **had** heard of Apocalypse. He was the mutant who had taken over America. Then she pointed at the girl._

"_She was McCoy's response to Weapon X. I barely got her out. They pumped her full of adamantium. Her healing's on the blink. She was dying, had already torn out her tracker, been beaten half to death when I got there. I needed help and I thought 'Raven'."_

"_I can't keep her."_

"_I don't want you to keep her. I just need somewhere to stop until I heal, then I'll take her and you'll never hear from me again."_

_And that had been that. Three weeks later, Etana had taken the still only semi-conscious girl and Kurt hadn't seen her for another five years, when he joined Magneto's X-Men. And everyone had been in a happy muddle because the Shadow was coming._

_When Etana had arrived, she was followed by a slender, wiry red-head, with golden eyes and the look of a trained warrior. It had taken him a while to link this deadly beauty with the dying girl. And when he did, he wondered if she ever remembered the gawky teenager who sat up with her as she screamed, hallucinating about terrible, horrible things._

_Then he'd seen her fight, moving fluidly and with great, perfect grace, dancing around, graceful claws stained red with blood. The Shadow had moved in perfect unison, the two appearing to be two bodies with one controlling mind. And he had fallen hard and fast in love._

* * *

><p>"Oh, how <strong>sweet<strong>."

"Phoenix, would you…?"

Phoenix grinned, raised her hand and clouted Death around the ears.

"Thank you."

"My pleasure."

"I hate humans."

* * *

><p>Tora's eyes were unfocussed and Tigress stepped into the darkened room. A single tune played over and over again.<p>

"Dragon?"

She looked up, her scarred face so lost.

"What's wrong with me? I…I used to love another song by them more but I can't listen to it anymore."

"Why?"

The woman crouched down to her double.

"Why can't you?"

Dragon's head tilted back.

"Because that one has **hope**. Ask Logan. He'll tell you how it kept me close to him when I was gone."

"And this one?"

"It's so **hopeless**. It's how I **feel**. It could have been **written **for me."

…_All dead, all dead  
>All the dreams we had<br>And I wonder why I still live on  
>All dead, all dead<br>And alone I'm spared  
>My sweeter half instead<br>All dead and gone, all dead…_

Tigress blinked.

"Who's your 'sweeter half'?"

And Dragon's eyes darkened.

"My version of your lover. My closest confident… I **need** him, Tora… I need him more than oxygen…"

…_All dead, all dead  
>But I should not grieve<br>In time it comes to ev'ryone  
>All dead, all dead<br>But in hope I breathe  
>Of course I don't believe<br>You're dead and gone  
>All dead and gone<em>

Tigress leant in and let Dragon cling to her.

"We'll bring him back. I promise. I will find a way to save you."

And then Dragon looked up and there was no life in her eyes.

"But everyone is dead. All dead. All gone. All die and I will be alone. I… I don't want to be alone… Everyone will die and I don't want to be alone…"

"You won't be alone Tora. You will **never** be alone. Because we will all be with you. All of us will always be there for you…"

And then Dragon stared at Tigress and there was nothing **human **in those eyes.

"Tigress, at the rate we're going, there won't be any other us out there. We're all dying…"

And then her eyes flashed with a burning sorrow.

"I wish I'd went with him and been to one to die instead. Maybe then I'd be able to feel **whole**…"

* * *

><p>"I pity her agony. I fear what she could have done."<p>

"Death, loss alone means nothing to her. She didn't** care** anymore. All she wanted was your comfort but you couldn't, **wouldn't** come for her."

"I tried. She called me but the Dragon held me at bay. Every night I fought with the Dragon in preparation for her coming but the Librarian shielded her from my gaze."


	178. Possibility

**Memories**

Possibility

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

A memory. A dream. A possibility. All she knew was it wasn't true but also that it **could** be.

"_Wanda."_

"_My sister."_

_The two woman bowed their heads slightly to one another._

"_Father wishes to see you, Marie."_

_The redhead turned away._

"_We all know I am his shame. Polaris is his pride; Quicksilver, his heir and you, his joy. I am just the human child born of an affair which meant **nothing** to him. And then my children who are fatherless and powerless. At least William and Thomas have inherited your and Pietro's gifts. My own gift is only to make the humans content. After all, if I wasn't in your family, maybe Father would have exterminated them all. It was only luck that you recognised me as your sister."_

_A hand on the shoulder._

"_Father wants to speak with you."_

"_Wanda, we know Father would much rather my other sister was his daughter. A telepath and telekinetic worthy of the Royal House of Magnus. All he can do is place Eloise on the Red Guard and give her great honour. He wishes **I** was Eloise Magnus."_

"_Marie, there is no truth in that…"_

_The woman in blue turned to her sister._

"_Wanda, I see the **disgust** when he looks at me. He keeps me hidden from the public. I only appear when the whole family is together and Pietro can shield me behind him. Lorna has nothing but **contempt** for what I am. And…"_

_She fell silent as the proud green-haired woman walked past, the long dark green robe trailing on the ground._

"_Wanda. Sister."_

_And then she was gone. Marie stared at Wanda._

"_See. She doesn't even call me by my **name**."_

_Wanda looked away in sorrow._

"_You know I would trade places with you in an instant."_

_Marie laughed._

"_Really? You would give up your power and prestige to be kept a virtual prisoner by your own father? I do not even know where my mother and her husband are or even whether they're alive. My only contact with outside is through my family and the Red Guard."_

_She fell silent and looked away. Wanda touched her shoulder._

"_Why do you never say who your children's father is? The only reason I keep my marriage secret to the public is to protect my husband. You won't even tell Father…"_

_Marie raised a hand._

"_He does not matter. He has sworn himself to secrecy and we are lucky that the children do not resemble him."_

"_Marie! Marie!"_

_But the human member of the House of Magnus had marched ahead, ignoring her sister's pleas. She pushed both doors into the throne room open._

"_Father."_

"_Marie. Leave us."_

_The men walked out as father and daughter sized each other up._

"_You know of my plan to unite Pietro and Queen Ororo."_

"_Yes. I do not approve. Pietro loves her but she does not care for him."_

"_You have no telepathy, Marie. What makes you so sure…?"_

"_Because I don't **need** telepathy to read people, **Father**. I may not be one of your precious **mutants** or have inherited any powers from you but I **have** gained your ability to take the measure of my opponents. I can read them as easily as a book. Eloise has protected me all these years but it wasn't **her** who planned the attacks and defences. It was me, Father. I may not be a mutant but I have inherited your ability to strategize and plan ahead. Ororo will **never** love Pietro and by attempting to force a relationship, you will just hurt him."_

"_SILENCE! You always speak with insolence. Remember, child, it was only my claiming you as my daughter that saved you from the life of a sapien."_

"_I would rather live in Sapien Town than be your daughter!"_

_He moved quickly and cuffed her face. She brought her fingers up to the cut caused by his ring. And then she demurely dropped her gaze._

"_You called me here for a reason, Father."_

"_Yes. The Atlantian Prince has expressed an interest in meeting you at this year's celebrations."_

_Marie stepped back._

"_I will **not** be a bargaining chip in your political power plays!"_

"_You will listen to me! You will go to the celebrations and meet the Prince! You will do this for me and the honour of our family! He will be the only one of few who will show interest in you, as no one even knows who your children were fathered by! I should have a telepath force it out of you!"_

"_I'd like to see you try, my **dear** father. In case you haven't recalled, I grew up with a telepath. Eloise has shielded me from a **multitude** of psychic backlashes. I also happen to be very adept at creating shields, even if I am but a mere human."_

_Father and daughter glared at each other, knowing that this was yet another of their fights that could not be avoided. Then her eyes flashed dangerously and they both knew she was about to overstep herself._

"_In fact, I shall be purposely rude to the Atlantian Delegation to the point of making fish jokes."_

_His temper snapped and the delicate iron chain she wore tightened around her throat. Fingers scrabbled but to no avail. Magneto advanced towards his rebellious offspring, eyes hard._

"_I saved you from a lifetime of pain and suffering and made you a princess, a queen and you repay me like **this**? With insolence and cheek?! You shall behave with propriety and grace to the Atlantians and most especially to the Prince. You could do no better than the man who shall one day rule three-quarters of the globe and who is willing to overlook your many faults."_

_The chain loosened and she dropped to the floor._

"_You mean my **humanity**? Or maybe the fact I have illegitimate children? I am simply following your lead, Father."_

"_No, I refer to your stubbornness and refusal to listen. Why the Prince chose you over Lorna, I do not know but-"_

"_Loran, Lorna, Lorna! It's always Lorna with you! Never mind that Pietro would **die** for you, a million times over! Never mind that Wanda faced an entire army in your name! No, you only care for Lorna; precious, metal-manipulating Lorna! Never mind I saved Wanda's life before I even knew her, by whacking that man over the head with a spade! All you care about is Lorna!"_

"_GUARDS!"_

_The men rushed into the room. Magnus's eyes were cold as he stared at his middle-child._

"_Take my daughter to her rooms and ensure she does not leave until the celebrations. Restrict all entry and exits."_

_Hands clasped around her arms and she glared at him._

"_Grounding me like a **child** now, Father?"_

"_Since you are behaving like one, yes."_

"_You know that forcing me into a political marriage will only turn me against you?"_

"_My child, who said anything about marriage? I simply believe that you and Prince Fennis should spend some time together, as the Prince asked so **graciously**."_

_She glared at him before pulling her arms free and regally stalking out. Magnus collapsed in his throne. That actually went surprisingly well._

_Marie stormed from one end of her room to another._

"_The stubborn, righteous, self-centred-"_

"_You know, that's what he calls you."_

_Marie sighed._

"_Hello, Wanda. Now, did you ask to get in, or did you magic yourself here?"_

"_What do you think?"_

"_Father will still be mad at me, therefore you are not meant to be here."_

"_You know the reason you fight with him all the time?"_

"_He's an insufferable git?"_

"_No. You're too alike. You're both pig-headed and far too stubborn to compromise. What was it about **this** time?"_

"_He wants me to marry Prince Fennis."_

"_Marry?"_

"_Fine, spend the celebrations with him and be so sweet and charming that he proposes and I **better** say yes. Father's so **insufferable**! He acts like he has the right to live my life for me."_

"_Well, you do like Atlantis…"_

"_I like **visiting** Atlantis. Father is so ashamed of me that he wants me miles underwater where he need not look at me."_

"_Marie! You know how to stop this, don't you?"_

"_Enlighten me, oh most **wonderful** sister."_

"_Get engaged to Curtis and Eva's father! Simple!"_

_Marie shook her head._

"_It isn't simple. It's anything **but**."_

_Wanda didn't say anything, just stared at her sister until Marie cracked._

"_Okay, okay, I'll tell you! You know how I'm always careful to wear a headdress that covers my face in public, and even when I'm just wandering about the palace?"_

"_Mmm-hmmm."_

"_The reason I've been doing it is so I can take off the headdress and the robes and I'm not Marie Magnus anymore. I was pretending to be Maria Circena, one of the staff and I met him and he was so lovely and kind and Eva covered for me…"_

"_You trusted **Eva** over me?! Your own **sister**?!"_

"_Eva had to know. I was running off whenever I could to be alone with him-"_

"_Who **is** he?"_

"_I… I cannot divulge that… But he'd met me as Maria and he loved me as Maria and I felt so good that here was a man who loved me for who I am, not as Father's daughter. So I didn't tell him…"_

"_Marie, you **idiot**!"_

"_I know, I know. By the time I felt I had to tell him, it was too late. I didn't know how he's react. But I loved him and we were so happy…"_

"_And let me guess. You got careless."_

"_I… I realised I was pregnant and had to tell him the truth. I did it the wrong way around. I should have told him then announced I was going to have a child. Instead, I told him about the pregnancy and he immediately offered to marry me. And I blurted it out. No tact. Nothing. Just 'I'm Marie Magnus'."_

"_How did he react to that?"_

_Marie winced._

"_Badly. He accused me of leading him on and lying. When it came down to it, he could love Maria Circena but not Marie Magnus, daughter of Magneto. He agreed to forego all rights to his child and to never breath a word of our affair in exchange for my promise not to reveal him to Father. You know why. Father would have him killed or order him to marry me. He would. He'd marry me and hate me for the rest of his life."_

"_Marie, you can trust me. Who is he?"_

_The amber eyes dropped low, almost in shame._

"_James Howlett…"_

"_Wolverine?" A hand flew to her mouth. "Oh, Marie. I'm so **sorry**."_

"_Look, I know he's sleeping with Mystique…"_

"_No! Oh, Marie! Wolverine…Wolverine was killed in the field three days ago. I was there when Father was informed."_

"_No… It's a mistake… It **has** to be!"_

"_Marie, I saw his body with my own **eyes**! Wolverine is **dead**!"_

Tora jerked awake, sitting bolt upright in the bed. She blinked for a second then rose, heading for the clothes lying on the chair. Dressing swiftly, she reached for the door when a voice rang out.

"That's it? No note, no anything? You just leave silently in the night and never come back?"

She turned back to him.

"They haunt me. The faces. In my sleep. I need… I need to speak with her."

The shadow rose.

"Speak with who?"

And Tora's eyes dropped.

"With Wanda."

* * *

><p>"Oh, how sweet, running for help from the one woman no one trusted."<p>

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>The next chapter includes what I **think** the Life Force is, although it probably won't have anything to do with what it turns out to be._


	179. Lodestone

**Memories**

Lodestone

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Wanda woke to see a figure crouching in the window. A hex bolt shot towards the intruder but the figure just raised a hand and the red light was absorbed by a gleaming waterfall that flickered into existence. The next hex opened the window and Tora slithered in.

"Is there a **reason** you're knocking on my window in the middle of the night? People hate me enough as it is. We can't risk you…"

"I can't sleep. The nightmares keep coming back."

"What nightmares?"

"The nightmares of what I did. What I didn't do. What I **could** do. What happened during M-Day, where **I** was the one responsible. Wanda, I remember it all, even if I didn't do it."

"Tora, they can't be like mine. What I did…"

"I did it as well."

"What?"

"I walk down the stairs and you're fighting with Magneto –I call him 'Father' there- and you have a hex bolt and then the piece of shrapnel hits you right through the chest and I'm screaming… Screaming at Father, at those there and everything is silver and I suddenly **know** what I've done and Bobby is asking me what I've done –why I did it –what end it served and I can't cope so I get rid of him and your eyes are so empty and I know how to heal you and then you're alive and I turn to Father and… And I'm so **angry** –you always said I was too like him there- that I just reached out. All across the world. I found the mutants and I found the X-Gene and I just told Dragon 'This is wrong. This is bad. This is a disease. Cure it.' And Dragon did, no questions asked. Just wiped out almost every single mutant on the face of the Earth. It wasn't like you. I didn't **depower** mutants. I rewrote their genetic structure, removing the X-Gene from their very make-up. And all I can remember is the look on your face as everything went white. You… You were so sad, and ashamed and lost and alone and then I couldn't remember you. Ever. Not until you are standing right in front of me as the X-Men prepare to kill me. It's all so confused. I can't even tell when something happened anymore or even **where** it happened. I'm not even that sure which reality I'm in. Not anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"There used to be an anchor. When I couldn't hold on, I had certain memories, thoughts that I could use to keep me in the here and now. But they're all gone. They don't work anymore. I need an anchor but I can't trust anyone to **be** the anchor."

"But you said it was memories and-"

"Only effective for warding it off. Now it's started, I need something living."

"Logan?"

"I'm not certain I can… I don't want to burden him with what I see. So I go without an anchor and just drift."

"I could do it."

Tora shook her head.

"Not while you're holding the Life Force."

"Pardon."

"It's… You're glowing. No, not to normal eyes! But to Dragon. You're humming with energy. Life energy. Bright and burning. You **are** what I'd call the 'Stores'."

"Pardon?"

"The Phoenix and the Dragon are new and old life respectively. The Phoenix is the life that hasn't yet been used. The potential if you like. Dragon is the life that **has** been used. And the Life Force is what is being used right now. The Trinity. Life Incarnate, the three faces. And we're all from Earth, all mutants. I'm still trying to work out what it is about the X-Gene that's so attractive to them. I think it may be to do with our bio-energies."

"Pardon?"

"Basically, mutants use –and in a way, **produce** more life energy. It's like a great big beacon shouting "PICK ME, PICK ME!" And then there's you and Jean. You're a probability manipulator **and** a nexus being, basically **screaming** for **something** to notice you. I'm amazed nothing picked you up before. Jean… Her telepathy, even without the Phoenix, had the potential to be staggering."

"And you?"

Tora smiled sadly.

"I heal. And I **see**. I see everything that the others see. Know what they know. What a lure to a being that represents knowledge."

"Yeah. About that? The Phoenix is Thought. Dragon is Knowledge. So what's the Life Force? And why doesn't it have a name?"

Tore laughed.

"It does. But no one knows it. Well, no one on **Earth**."

"You know it, don't you?"

"Yes. And the Life Force… Thought, Knowledge and… Well, take a guess."

"I don't know."

And Tora leant forward, smiling slightly.

"When you know, tell me. You'll learn the name. And the representation. And the 'element'. As in the old elements. Phoenix is Fire and Life 'Incarnate'. What she **really** meant is life that will be. Dragon is Water and Life 'Renewed' or the life that **has** been. So when you know. You'll know."

"I'm guessing Air."

"Wrong. And now I have to go. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For making me forget."

And then Tora was back out of the window, as silently as she had come. Leaving Wanda to absorb what she had just learnt.

* * *

><p>"How <strong>is<strong> the Third by the way?"

"Well, you know… Taking it badly. You know how it is. At the beginning, Dragon is the weakest and Phoenix strongest. By the end, the Dragon is the strongest. And in this intermittent period we seem to be stuck in, the Third is the weakest. There is nothing **living**. Nothing for her to feed off. It is all looping from Dragon to Phoenix so the cycle may start over. It is feeling rather left out. Sort of."

"You know that it is more than that, Phoenix. It is the Lodestone. Phoenix is What Will Be, the Future, Progress, Chaos, Fire. Dragon is What Was, the Past, Preservation, Order, Water. And the Third is not what was or what will be. It is What **Is**, the Here and Now, the State of **Being**, Harmony –Half Order, Half Chaos. Without the Third, the Phoenix and the Dragon could not exist together. They would rip each other apart. The Third acts in the same way as Galactus. He prevent Infinity and Oblivion destroying each other and you and Eternity, Death. The Third is more than it appears. Without it, there would be **nothing**. It is the Lodestone, that which keeps us in balance. When the Dragon came to Earth, the Lodestone had to follow. You couldn't have Phoenix and Dragon on one planet unsupervised. They'd tear it apart. Not by choice. But because it was their **nature**. Without the Lodestone, Earth would never have survived the energies both released unwittingly. Wanda Maximoff saved the world by being **alive**."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N.<strong> First chapter of _More Than Just A Kiss_ is now up. Etana POV for the first chapter. It's under X-Men/Avengers.  
><em>


	180. Prophecy

**Memories**

Prophecy

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"Jean-Paul!"

The man turned.

"_Oui_?"

They slipped into their native language with some relief. Tora looked worried.

"Jean-Paul, these people won't take no for an answer and **insist **I go to this charity function. And they also insist I bring someone and by someone they mean 'someone who won't be totally inappropriate at a charity ball' and so I instantly thought of you."

"Why don't you take Logan?"

"Yawning through the speeches is classed as inappropriate. So is threatening to snikt people."

"Why not Beast?"

"Hank's busy with a big experiment and also has his own invite. Apparently, **he** can get out of it."

"Bobby?"

"I happen to know that Deathbird is going to ask him out on a date that night. Why don't you want to come?"

"You do know what people will say when you turn up with me?"

"Who cares? Look, I appreciate if you don't want to come but I need some **intelligent** conversation."

Jean-Paul rolled his eyes. Then smiled.

"Of course. Will anyone else there speak French?"

"Northstar, it's the high and mighty of the New York social pyramid. What do **you** think?"

"I think we can talk in privacy."

She nodded. Then raised a hand.

"Tomorrow night? Half-six? Formal dress. I **hate** formal…"

* * *

><p>"Tora, Tora, Tora. She's <strong>always<strong> been like that. You know, she tried to turn up for my wedding in jeans and a t-shirt? I still haven't forgiven her for that."

* * *

><p>Jean-Paul grinned as Tora stepped out into the light, a scowl on her face. She <strong>hated<strong> dresses, despite this one being one Emma had chosen carefully, a deep aqua blue and designed to make even **Tora **look vaguely ladylike.

"Jean-Paul, if you **dare** compliment me on how I look, I **swear** I shall punch you. In fact, I shall punch the first person who mentions how I look, no matter **who** they are."

Northstar smirked.

"Please speak to Tony Stark first."

She raised an eyebrow at him and he shrugged.

"Hitting Tony Stark is always considered acceptable. Especially if you're female."

A tiny smile twitch Tora's mouth and then she got into the car. As soon as she entered, her shoes were off and she was cursing quietly.

"I thought heels only hurt if you wore them too long?"

Tora sighed.

"Yeah. Well. Try and force adamantium bones into those toes and all you get is agony. I hate whoever gave me these."

They looked at each other for a moment then laughed. After that they sat in silence, not because they had nothing to say but because they didn't have to say it. Silence was better than the argument that would occur if the conversation got onto politics or X-Men or anything either was touchy about. The car pulled up and Jean-Paul went to open the door then froze.

"There are cameras out there. Lots of them."

She held out a hand.

"Well, I'm relying on you to make sure we only appear as a blur on the photos."

Northstar bowed, almost mockingly.

"My fair lady, take my hand."

She grasped his wrist firmly, there was a rush of air and then they were standing in the cloakroom, brushing off the slight layer of dust that accumulated at that speed. Tora nodded.

"I must use the Jean-Paul method of transport more often. It's so simple."

Northstar scoffed.

"I wasn't even going **fast**. But it was the slowest speed at which we wouldn't show up on the cameras. Also, the fastest most **normal** people can go without being turned into a vertical pancake and messing up my air tunnel."

"A person is turned into a 'vertical pancake' and all you worry about is your wind tunnel being messed up?"

They looked at each other then burst out laughing again. Linking arms, they sauntered into the party and immediately made themselves scarce. Both were rather controversial. Tora's activities with the Avengers were usually a little more destructive than usual superheroics. Also, her disappearing act for a month, the reasons behind which weren't mentioned, had sparked all sorts of rumours. In the end, they were standing in a corner, pointedly ignoring everyone else and talking softly in fast, fluent French. A man approached them and Jean-Paul felt Tora stiffen, her back straighten.

"Why are the little mutants hiding in the corner? Too ashamed to show their faces?"

Tora wrinkled her nose.

"You've drunk too much. I can smell it on you."

"The pretty little Avenger. They call you the New Avengers' Thor, did you know that?"

"I did."

"But you aren't anything **like **him. He's a god. You're just a piece of genetic filth."

"Please desist with the insults, I may die of boredom. I've heard them all before."

"And your companion. Is there a reason a woman like you can't get a decent man to bring her to these things?"

Jean-Paul winced. Tora could take insults as well as she could give them. But she was always touchy about insults directed at others.

"Instead you bring a gay skier who got his medals taken off him for using his powers to cheat and –urk!"

Everyone turned to see Tora standing there, hand tight around the man's throat, lifting him off the floor.

"Do you know how easily the human vertebrae can be snapped? Don't move your head. It's surprisingly easy. Now listen to **me**. You've been expounding your unwanted views on Jean-Paul and I, so now it's my turn. Jean-Paul has **never** used his powers to win a competition, nor would he as he would find that boring and frankly unsatisfactory. Also, I really **hate** people insulting my friends. So if you want to live this night out, I expect an apology. **Now**!"

Jean-Paul placed a warning hand on Tora's arm.

"Tora, you can put him down. I've had worse. Tora."

She snarled slightly. Feral personality reverting to dominant. All the school staff had been taught to recognise the warning signs, mainly in relation to Logan. But Tora? She rarely forgot herself but every now and then the X-Men were reminded that the stately and graceful Dragon was only a veneer over the sarcastic, wild and dangerous Tigress. Tora was a feral at heart and one who had reason to mistrust humanity. Her head moved forward.

"It's the people like you who have destroyed my family. Logan, Laura, Curt and me. All the victims of the ones like you who see us as sub-human. We who have so little lose so much for 'science' and 'defence'. What can a child do against an army? That's what I was trained to do…"

Her hand loosened and then she staggered back, clutching her head.

"_Laman! Harsta nam korash!_"

Then her hands moved to her stomach and she stared up, eyes glowing silver.

"**The Father is returning. The Son is coming home. The Daughter shall heal her Father. And all shall be lost.**"

Then she fell into Northstar's arms and he began to force his way through the crowds.

"There's nothing to see here! She's just had an episode! Don't worry, there's nothing to panic about. Precognition always takes a lot out of her. Please let us through. We'll need to get her rehydrated and she'll need a rest…" All lies but he needed to get her out before she said something else, something worse. Like…

"**The Avengers shall attack those who seek only life. War shall come to Earth. A war that belongs in the far regions of space. All because those who Avenge take it upon themselves to steal.**"

…Like that. Brilliant, she'd just implicated the Avengers. Could tonight get any worse?

"**And One of the Three shall be the one to destroy the Avengers. What Is, What Was or What Will Be. One shall destroy the Avengers. And one shall give them life. The Third shall remain aloof.**"

How did you shut her up when she was like this? Why wasn't this an X-Man training program? Shutting up creepy prophetic cosmic entity inhabiting body of close friend. It **sounded** like it should be a training program.

"**And all shall be lost. The Man of Iron shall force together what cannot be and all will fall unless the Lodestone embraces her power. All shall burn into darkness. All shall die. Unless the Lodestone accepts her fate.**"

And then Tora's eyes cleared and she started cursing.

"I **hate** it when it does that!"

* * *

><p>"Oh, I <strong>loved<strong> it when she did that!"

"What, came out with startlingly accurate prophecies or when she started having arguments with herself about use of vocal chords?"


	181. Dreaming of Eternity

**Memories**

Dreaming of Eternity

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Curt shuffled backwards away from the man with the flamethrower. The rest of the Young Avengers were already captured and tied-up. Curt raised a hand.

"You do know that if you hurt me you'll have someone out for your blood. Literally."

The man laughed but then a very cold voice rang out.

"Get away from my boyfriend if you don't want to be found a shrivelled, bloodless husk."

Curt glanced over his aggressor's shoulder.

"Bat-babe, you are the best girlfriend I have ever had."

"Curt, don't call me Bat-babe and also, I'm the only girlfriend you've ever had."

"Yeah, so I suppose you're also the worst. I didn't want to call you that though cos you'd tear my head off. Also, you've shot down every single vampire-related pet name I've tried. You've got to let me call you something vampire-related. I think that's in the Constitution…"

"No it's not."

Her fangs flashed pearly-white.

"Now, will you let them go or will I have to break every bone in your body? I can, you know. I have the strength and I spent a lot of time around Wolverine. And if you don't let him go, I'll tell his mother and she'll come and break everything I've missed, including a few things I didn't know you could break. She hates anyone who threatens her kids. And I really wouldn't like to upset her. She's been known to destroy small islands when that happens."

The man considered, then dropped the flamethrower. Jubilee bared her teeth again.

"Smart move. Dragon gets **really** $£% *& off with people who threaten her family. I should know. I once saw her tear Bastion in two for hurting me. And I think **everyone** saw her little episode last night."

Curt sat up and massaged his wrists.

"Jubes, I really think I'm totally in love with you."

"Get up and rescue your team. Also, you owe me a new t-shirt. This one's got spit on it."

Curt grinned, flipped over and went to cut through the ropes holding his teammates before coughing.

"Everyone, this is Jubilee; X-Man, vampire, former New Warrior under the name of Wondra and my girlfriend."

She grinned and held out her hand.

"Also former mall-rat, Gen-X member and Wolverine's sidekick. Yes, I finally admit it."

Wiccan was the first with his hands free and took the offered hand.

"Hi. You know, your trading card was totally epic."

She shrugged.

"Yeah, except they were totally unsolicited. The X-Men never saw a cent. Which would have come in handy when we were rebuilding. Again. And again. Our bases have a habit of getting destroyed."

Curt nodded.

"That or Xixy blows them up when doing some crazy K'Meeri ritual to Dragon. Maman keeps telling him that if he's so willing to serve her, all he has to do is bring her a cup of coffee and keep the paperwork to the minimum but he seems to think she wants kibosha sacrificed to her. Maman doesn't approve.

"What's a kibosha?"

Jubilee laughed.

"It's a sentient vegetable from M'Keer. It tastes like rotten eggs but it's considered a delicacy there. Possibly because it's the only plant that runs around the plate when you tried to eat it."

Speed wrinkled his nose.

"That's just **wrong**."

Jubes shrugged.

"You get used to aliens if you're on the X-Men. It's kinda forced on you."

* * *

><p>"Oh, the X-Men and aliens. You could write a <strong>book<strong>."

"Phoenix, I do believe I wrote several."

"Yes, but no one read them. They were all boring and about their culture."

"I found their cultures interesting."

"Yes, but you're an idiot. In the nicest possible way."

Death stuck her hand up.

"I read them."

* * *

><p>"<em>Norin, Norin, Norin…"<em>

_Everyone turned to see the woman in blue walk towards them._

"_Really Norin… Your lack of faith in me stings."_

_She looked at Galactus and spoke in a curious, spitting, hissing, barking tongue. Galactus replied in the same and she nodded._

"_He'll help us."_

"_Shouldn't you be…I don't know, asleep?"_

_She rolled her eyes._

"_Librarian of Reality, remember? I'm not the sort to fall asleep. Nightmare has no power over the Dragon. Who seems determined to cosmic bubble wrap me. So, Chaos? I would normally just hit it until it curls up and begs for mercy but I assume that isn't an option."_

_She raised an eyebrow._

"_Right, we have the Asgardian Thunderer, a Skyfather, the World Eater, a nymph and an Eternal. The Prince of Power and the avatar to a cosmic entity that prefers to file stuff in triplicate before doing anything. And we're going up against the very unmaking of the universe? We're all doomed…"_

_A portal opened and a being staggered out, a being made of fire that was dull._

_The Malach Hamavet raised her head._

My Mistress has fled. My Chosen have fallen. I throw my lot with you. Save my Chosen. Save the Afterlife.

_Tora smiled slightly._

"_Okay, the odds have just shifted tremendously in our favour."_

Tora jerked up, hand glowing silver then she relaxed. The thing with the Chaos King had been months back. She worked on lowering her breathing and heartrate. Closed her eyes and leant back. This was getting **ridiculous**. She hadn't had an uninterrupted night's sleep for close to four weeks now. She concentrated on her breathing, but that wasn't helping. She shoved the covers off and walked to the window. Logan shifted and groaned but then his breathing evened out. Tora reached out carefully.

_Emma?_

The reply came almost instantaneously. It may be almost midnight at the school, but for Emma it was nine and therefore Tora knew she'd be on her last shift in Cerebra.

_Tora. How are you?_

_What do you think?_

_Nightmares?_

_All the time. I can't even sleep anymore._

_I… I could shut your mind down for you. A deep, dreamless sleep._

_Could you?_

_Yes, but I'd need to go deep. Very deep._

Tora stiffened.

_We both know that's a bad idea. A very bad idea. You know what happens if people go too deep into my head._

_I know._

_And you're prepared to take that risk? Just to help me sleep?_

_You need to be rested. You're taking on work at an inhuman pace. I've seen you. You teach a full day at the school, work triple shifts with the X-Men and then go off and work with the New Avengers. Tora, you're **killing** yourself with all this._

Tora laughed almost bitterly.

_What?_

_I remember telling Logan **exactly** the same thing._

_Get back to bed. I'll flip the switch. You'll wake up in six and a half hours, after a dreamless sleep. I bet that's the best you'll have had in a while._

_Thanks. Oh, before I forget. Here's everything we've been doing since our last little chat._

_Likewise. I hope you find it…informative…_

Tora moved back into the bed, lay back and felt sleep wash over her for what felt like the first time in far too long. The last thing she did before surrendering to that elusive embrace was to move over and slip her arms around Logan. And then they were both asleep, looking for all the world the way they had five years before. At peace, with themselves and the universe.

* * *

><p>Phoenix almost touched the water but drew her hand back at the last second.<p>

"I shouldn't…"

"You can."

Death glared at their host.

"That's against the rules."

"Who cares about the rules? Not now. Go on Jean."

Phoenix smiled.

"It's been a long time since you called me that."

And then her hand plunged into the water and she sent a dream back to the sleeping woman. A dream of hope.

* * *

><p><em>Tora was standing on a mountain, feeling the wind whip through her hair. She felt so at peace. And then she heard laughter and turned to see Jean, Kurt, Eva and Etana walk towards her, arms linked as they waved.<em>

"_Tora!"_

"_But… You're dead…"_

_Etana rolled her eyes._

"_Do we **look** dead to you?"_

"_No…"_

_Kurt slipped his arms out of Eva and Jean's and grasped Tora's hands._

"_This is a dream. But it's also a reality. We are here for you. All of us."_

_Tora turned to Eva._

"_So… If I… If I tell you…"_

"_There's nothing to be sorry for, Xii. Thank you, though."_

"_For what? I got you killed."_

"_No. You set me free. You protected me. Thank you, Xii. Thank you for being there for me."_

_Tora smiled weakly then suddenly burst into tears and flung her arms around Eva's neck._

"_Thankyou!Thankyou!Thankyou!"_

"_For what?"_

"_For showing me how to be human."_

_And then Tora turned to Jean. Raised an eyebrow._

"_This is your doing, isn't it?"_

"_I cannot confirm or deny anything."_

_And then they were hugging and laughing and crying all at once. And Tora turned to Etana. The taller woman inclined her head graciously._

"_I'm so very proud of you, Tora. I hope you know that."_

_Tora held out a hand. The shake was stiff and formal and then Etana scooped up Tora._

"_You're a complete and utter **idiot**, you know that?"_

_Tora managed to untangle herself._

"_Etana, I'm slightly worried about your defence mechanism of insulting those you care about."_

_She shrugged._

"_I'm too old to change. Old dog, new tricks, all that rot. But **you**. You have the chance to change the world. Don't spoil it, Tora. Don't ruin this second chance."_

_Tora nodded, tears streaking down her face. Then Kurt clapped her on the back._

"_Why are we being all doom and gloom?! Come on! We're alive! We're young! Well, most of us are… Let's spare the sorrow for later!"_

When Tora woke in the morning, she felt better than she had for almost as long as she could remember.

* * *

><p>Phoenix stared at their host who seemed to be getting some colour back in her face.<p>

"This is taking a lot out of you, isn't it?"

The woman nodded.

"I need to do this. I… I need to put it to rest. Before I die."

"You're going to die?"

The woman nodded.

"It's a luxury that's been denied to me for too long."

Phoenix held her hand out.

"You'll… You'll still come back? Every now and then?"

"Probably."

"Good."


	182. Double Dating With Your Parents

**Memories**

Double Dating With Your Parents

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Erin was just walking down the corridor to her lecture when the red-haired woman sprinted out, grabbed her wrist, yelled "RUN!" and pulled her in the opposite direction. Erin had spluttered something about having a lecture on classical sonatas but the woman shook her head again.

"N'Garai! Run! Really, really **run**!"

And Erin did, for the sheer terror in the woman's voice. And then she was pushed into a corner.

"I will try and distract it. Run. I'll lead it away and you run like hell because those things don't just eat your body. They eat your soul as well."

And then the monster rounded the corner and the woman screamed a wordless battle-cry before charging. She was leaping around the monster but Erin didn't want to move, too scared. And then the woman screamed and water burst from her, a dragon attacking the demon-thing. Dragon! The New Avenger and X-Man! And then the claws dug into flesh and black ash fell to the ground and the two beings shrieked in agony. And then the woman shouted a word, the waves exploded and the monster crumpled to dust as the woman fell to her knees. Erin walked forward carefully and could only stare at the gash right across Dragon's stomach that was weeping black ash.

"Are… Are you alright?"

"I'm…fine…"

And then water slid across her stomach and the rips healed. Dragon looked pale, ill. Weak. Erin pulled her up and was shocked to see the scars that had ripped over one eye. Everyone thought that they were just fakes but why wear them if you didn't expect trouble? And then the eyes rolled back and Dragon crashed down to the floor. Erin screamed.

By the time the New Avengers arrived, Dragon was sitting up, moaning something about "Accursed soul-thieves." Dr Strange spent five minutes examining her eyes then gave her a bill of full health. And Dragon smiled at Erin before holding her hand out.

"Thanks."

And all Erin could think was _I'm shaking hands with an Avenger. Oh __**wow**__. This is __**so**__ cool. Lil' Brother Peter will __**never **__believe me…_

* * *

><p>"Tora!"<p>

"Don't worry, Phoenix. She's absolutely fine. Or…well… Almost fine…"

* * *

><p>Curt was hovering, looking at Rachel. Rachel grinned and walked over.<p>

"What's wrong?"

"Er… You know how you got all those chronokinesis powers from your mom because she was Phoenix?"

"Yes?"

"And you know how when you use your powers you can make it **look** like the Phoenix, even if it isn't?"

"Yes…?"

"Can we go somewhere private?"

Rachel grabbed his arm and led him into the Danger Room. Curt stared at her for a long moment then lowered his head.

"Please. Watch."

And then his eyes flashed and a orange dragon burst into existence around him and he reached out, grabbed a weight and crumpling it to dust before reforming it then he was just Curt again, looking scared and afraid.

"Rachel, I think I'm like you. I think I've got that from Maman. And I'm scared about what that means. I know it's not made of water and I know it's not the **real** Dragon because I'd **know**. But it's **something**. An echo or a shadow or **anything**. And now I'm afraid that I'll end up with chronokinetic powers."

"But why now? I thought you were depowered."

"Yeah. So did I. But it's started nagging me, ever since Iron Lad took us back in time with the Young Avengers. It's this feeling that… I don't know… Everything's interconnected. But… You aren't… You're different… And it scares me. What if I end up able do what you can with time and I accidentally mess something up because I don't understand it. I…I suppose I'm officially asking you to teach me to control it."

Rachel stared at the nervous boy and then smiled.

"Of course. After the main lessons have finished, report to the Danger Room every night. Starting tonight."

Curt smiled weakly.

"Thanks."

And then he ran out, shouting something about being late for History and Dad was going to **kill** him. Rachel stared at the door for a long moment then sighed.

"Heaven help that boy."

* * *

><p>Phoenix leant forward, intrigued.<p>

"Now **that's** interesting."

* * *

><p>They stopped outside the restaurant then suddenly all four spoke at once.<p>

"Curt?!"

"Wolvie?!"

"Jubilee?!"

"Maman!?"

And then Curt blinked.

"Why are you here?"

Logan coughed slightly.

"I…er… We thought we should get away from the school and everything for the night and…er… Why are you here anyway?"

Jubilee shrugged.

"We're teenagers. We're on a date. Duh."

Curt suddenly froze.

"Jubes, have you ever actually **been** here?"

"No."

"So how do you know it's 'really, really good'?"

"Because Wolvie…told me… Oh…"

There was an awkward silence. Then Logan coughed.

"I…I suppose we could go somewhere else…"

Curt shook his head.

"No, we should. I mean, you really deserve a night out. And also this place looks pretty expensive and we could always get a burger or something…"

Tora sighed.

"Look, we'll just get a table from which we can't see you. Problem solved."

Jubilee shook her head.

"You'll be able to hear us. And we'll be able to hear you. That'll just be even more awkward 'cause you'll just wanted tonight off everything. And we're part of everything… Look, we'll just go…"

"A table for four?"

They weren't able to make any difference as they were hustled to a single table with a view out across the street. Curt buried his face in his hands as they sat down, all avoiding each other's eyes.

"Double-dating with your parents is just **wrong**."

* * *

><p>Phoenix made an odd noise, stuffed her hand into her mouth then failed miserably and started laughing hysterically. Death soon succumbed to the giggles and the masked woman sighed.<p>

"I'm surrounded by **idiots**."

* * *

><p>Logan wondered what had caused this sudden change. She seemed more open. Warmer. No longer an empty husk. Tonight had been her suggestion. And it had actually worked out pretty well. Once they'd got over their embarrassment, they'd actually had a normal evening together, one that for once gave them the appearance of a normal family. And okay, Jubilee was a vampire and Curt was still bonded with an alien symbiote. And Tora had a cosmic entity in her head that quite probably had decided to be a permanent lodger and Logan was over a century old but they were still a normal family. Who went up against aliens and Dr Doom but oh well. Nobody's perfect. And Logan now gave the Curt-Jubilee thing his full approval. Okay, he was still slightly confused about it and why he hadn't spotted it before but when he actually thought about it, there was a slightly smug feeling that at least he knew who JubileeCurt was dating and he knew that they weren't exactly the wrong sort and also that Tora probably wouldn't have to repeat the Hellion Incident. She still hadn't quite forgiven him for that one. Hellion still had a small scar on his cheekbone from where one of the thrown objects had shattered on his face.

And then they'd returned home and Tora had insisted that they went for a walk in the grounds and they'd spotted Cia and Krakoa talking in the moonlight and Logan had let himself smile a little bit.

Maybe the Healer was healing herself.

* * *

><p>"I love that feeling of hope. And faith. He so did want it to be true."<p>

"That was one of her better periods. It lasted all of three months. And then you came back."

Phoenix nodded.

"To be fair, she **was** calling for me."

Death blinked.

"Who was?"

"Tora. Hope. Take your pick."


	183. The Great Jam Doughnut of Time

**Memories**

The Great Jam Doughnut of Time

(With Chocolate Sprinkles and Vanilla Icing)

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Curt sat cross-legged in the Danger Room, feeling rather stupid. Rachel nodded.

"Now, reach out. Try and find this feeling. You'll sense the time ticking back and forth. For me it feels like a thread. I don't know what it feels like for you but-"

"It's a doughnut."

"What?"

"It's like a big circle but you can also go up, down, left and right as well as around. Either way."

"A…doughnut?"

"Yeah. And then you just keep going round and round, over and over again. Every cycle could be the same or it could be different. It depends on which point you remain at."

"Now… You have your…er…doughnut… Can you find me?"

"Yeah. You're like custard in jam. You're different."

"Custard in jam? Okaaay… Now try and move it a little. Custard in jam? Okaay… Now try and move it a little."

Curt yelped in surprise. Rachel shook her head violently.

"Did you just…? You did. Wow."

"What?"

"It took me **years** to learn to do that. You took ten minutes."

Curt suddenly blinked a few times.

"I've found myself."

"What?"

"Keeping with the doughnut analogy, I'm strawberry jam in a grape doughnut. Of this reality but slightly different. Slightly out of sync."

Rachel blinked a few times. She could tell he saw time completely differently to her. To Curt, everything was circular, repeating. And somehow he **instinctively** knew how to control time. Or at least how to slip it a bit.

Curt was frowning. Then he got up and walked over to the wall of weaponry and picked up a small knife. He weighed it in his hands, still frowning. Then he raised his right hand and opened his left. Immediately, thick strands of webbing coated his hand but Curt spoke softly in the voice Rachel had come to recognise as his "talking-to-Poison-voice".

"No. Not this time. Please, let me try this."

And then he slashed the knife right across his palm before Rachel could stop him. She screamed but he was staring at his hand in amazement before raising it to show a white line gradually fading to nothing. He blinked a few times.

"I… I'm repowered… But… How? I mean, that's **impossible**."

Rachel shook her head.

"Obviously not."

He blinked. Then his mouth dropped open.

"That is **way** cool."

"What?"

"When… When I was in the timestream with the Young Avengers, my older self went back and repowered me. Which is totally cool and also kinda creepy when you think about it. This is so **epic**! I have **got** to go and tell Jubilee this! I mean, that means that I can let her age so she won't be nineteen forever! We can age 'til we decide we're old enough then stop! This is **brilliant**!"

Rachel grabbed him as he tried to run out.

"Ah. Who do you need to tell before Jubilee?"

Curt paused, thought for a moment.

"Dad, Maman and Uncle Hank. This is **so** cool! I mean, I thought getting my mutation back would drive me insane because my mind would be in a constant state of flux but what it's actually done is fixed it all. But I've still got Brian and Poison to talk to so maybe Brian is actually a part of my… No. Way."

"What?"

"This is **so** epic! I do not believe this!"

"What?!"

"Brian **is** a part of my mutation! Like the sensible, older version of me only he can't remember anything that happened! Excuse me, I'm going off to tell Maman and Dad!"

He shot out of the room, leaving Rachel to wonder exactly what kind of trouble Curt would get himself into **this** time.

* * *

><p>"So endearing."<p>

"Death, do you actually understand the meaning of that word?"

"Appealing? Attractive? Charming? Engaging? Loveable?"

"Do you understand the meaning of the other words? Or are you just quoting a dictionary?"

* * *

><p>The meeting was between the heads and vice-principals. Kitty and Logan, Hank and Tora. The conversation was moving from lessons to funding.<p>

"We can't keep increasing our spending exponentially. Yes, Logan, I know you've finally started spending all the money you've hoarded over the years. Yes, I know Etana's holdings are worth than the GDP of most developing countries. But the resources aren't infinite. Yes, the Shi'ar funds for Kid Gladiator are helping but at this rate of spending, we have six, seven years at most."

Beast nodded.

"What our dear Tora says is true. Our resources most assuredly finite. I know that much of the budget this year went into building the school and repairing the damage from Krakoa's attack. But judging on past experiences, we'll have to set aside an astromical sum each year for repairs and maintenance. We're fast running out and-"

What Beast was about to say was never said. Curt burst into the room, grinning from ear to ear. Logan stood up.

"Curt, what the-"

"I've got my powers back!"

Everyone went totally silent. Kitty's mouth dropped open, Hank's eyes widened, Tora's expression remained one of schooled emotionless. Logan dropped back into his chair.

"Come again?"

"I-was-training-with-Rachel-because-I-thought-I-could-be-chronokinetic-and-then-I-cut-myself-deliberately-and-made-sure-Poison-didn't-stop-the-knife-and-I-healed-and-then-I-realised-my-older-self-gave-me-my-powers-back-when-I-was-in-the-time-stream-but-I-didn't-realise-it-because-Poison-protects-me-from-injuries-and-I-didn't-realise-my-reflexes-and-senses-were-better-because-I-didn't-expect-them-to-be-and-this-is-so-cool-and-I'm-a-mutant-again-and-time-is-doughnut-shaped!"

"Whoa. Slow down. You've been given your powers back by an older version of yourself and now you're chronokinetic and time is apparently a doughnut?"

Kitty giggled.

"What flavour doughnut?"

Curt shrugged.

"It's jam. With chocolate sprinkles and vanilla icing."

Hank buried his head in his hands.

"Why is this considered **normal** for me?"

* * *

><p>This time all three women failed to hold back their giggles. Egged on by the horrified gasps of "We have to stop laughing!" they started laughing madly. The masked woman stopped then hiccupped. That set Death and Phoenix off again but the woman folded her arms.<p>

"It's –hic– not –hic– funny –hic– at all –hic–."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>And this is why my brother and I should never be allowed to discuss the nature of time together. He suggested the title by the way._


	184. Super Speed Dating

**Memories**

Super-Speed Dating

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Curt grinned as he gripped Speed's shoulders.

"Now, just relax. Seriously, Noriko's epic. Just be calm and try not to act **too** like your normal obnoxious self. I'm kidding, I'm kidding!"

"Why am I taking dating advice from the guy who dates a vampire?"

"Because you totally, epically failed when trying to go out with Kate. Try not to mess this one up."

"Thanks, Curt. You are **so** good at calming my nerves. Not. Also, who wants to slow down and go on a date?"

Curt smirked.

"Funny thing you should say that…"

Suddenly two streaks shot across the park. They skidded to a halt and resolved into two girls. Jubilee grinned.

"Speed, Surge. Surge, Speed. Tommy, Noriko. Noriko, Tommy. Great, everyone knows each other and since the only one here without super-speed is Curt, last one to the fast food joint at the other end of the park pays."

The vampire and the two mutants with super-speed powers shot off. Only to find Curt leaning against the wall outside, smirking.

"Okay, how did you do that?"

Curt laughed.

"Wouldn't **you** like to know?"

"Come on! That's **impossible**. Tommy can run halfway around the world in a minute and a half. Surge and I got from Utopia to here in ten minutes. Explain."

Curt smirked.

"I walked."

And then he grinned.

"Jubes, you're paying."

She shook her head.

"No I'm not. First one there pays."

"That wasn't the deal!"

Speed grinned.

"It was. We had a super-speed conference, didn't we, Noriko?"

Surge grinned at him.

"Totally. Also, Curt's parents are loaded, and my allowance was stopped by the X-Men for accidentally-on-purpose overloading Cyclops' shaving socket. Whilst he was shaving. It was **epic**. Apparently, Magneto ended up lending him a razor."

Speed raised a hand for a high five.

"That is **so** cool! You actually got Cyclops?"

"Yeah. But Ms Frost caught me thinking about it. So they stopped my allowance."

Curt grinned.

"Okay. I'll pay for Jubilee 'cause she's my girlfriend and for Noriko because she pranked Cyclops. Go on, Tommy. Impress me."

Speed grinned, vanished then came back.

"In two minutes, a box of fireworks will go off under Tony Stark's bed in Avengers Tower."

Curt let out a quick bark of laughter.

"Okay, food's on me."

They were sitting eating, laughing a lot. Jubilee refused to buy anything and simply resorted to stealing food from Curt and biting tomato sauce sachets. Surge grinned when Jubilee slurped her way through her third.

"Bet you're wishing they were blood pouches, aren't you?"

Jubilee nodded.

"Yeah. I mean, everything tastes better when you're a vampire but nothing tastes like blood. Do you **know** how much self-control I'm having to exert here? Crowds are the worst. So many people… So much blood… But it's okay. I've got a handle on it and if it comes to it, I always carry a small syringe of Logan's blood around. If it gets too bad, I inject myself and that's like a huge boost. The healing factor keeps it alive, see? It's like I'm getting it right from the neck."

Curt stopped twirling his straw.

"Do you ever want your powers back? You know, to be able to paff people again?"

Jubilee dropped her head.

"Yeah. I miss it. I mean, you know what it's like. And Speed, imagine what it'd be like if you couldn't run anymore. If everything was **slow**."

"Sounds **dreadful**."

"It was. To begin with. It's better now. Not so terribly empty. But Curt and I are lucky. We got another set of powers, even if they come at a price."

"What price?"

Jubilee smiled sadly.

"I have to shove this little voice down all the time that tries to make me see you all as walking bloodbanks. I'll always have to be careful about going out in the sun, just in case Tora's blocks fail. I'll never be able to hide in places of worship. And Curt needs an active source of phenethylamine or the symbiote will start to eat his brain. It won't even mean to. It'll just consume it."

Curt lowered his head.

"I got repowered."

Jubilee dropped her tomato sauce sachet and Tommy took the opportunity to steal some of Curt's fries.

"What?! When?! Why didn't you tell us?!"

"I only just found out. I've been repowered for a while… Ever since Iron Lad took me through the time stream. Jubes, I'm chronokinetic."

Surge let out a little "Ahh" of understanding. Speed wrinkled his nose.

"What's 'chronokinetic'?"

"You know what kinetic means?"

"Yeah. Like controlling stuff. Like telekinesis or electrokinesis or geokinesis or thermokinesis…"

Surge nodded.

"I'm electrokinetic."

Curt gulped.

"Chrono comes from the Greek Titan Cronus. The god of Time."

"You control **time**! That is so **cool**! Listen, can we go back in time a week and stop me from walking in on Billy and Teddy making out! That was just **awkward**!"

Curt shook his head.

"I'm still learning to control it. Although I am at liberty to divulge that time is doughnut-shaped."

There was a moments silence then all four teenagers started giggling uncontrollably. Jubilee suddenly stopped.

"You mean that? You could repower me?"

"Yeah. I think I could. I'll just have to twitch the doughnut back or forward until you get your powers back. Forward is probably better. You're a vampire so you shouldn't age. I hope…"

"When can we do this?!"

She sounded eager and excited. Curt shrugged.

"Later. I don't really want to do it in a public place. It could go terribly wrong. If it does, I apologise in advance but you're a vampire, so almost impossible to kill."

They sat in silence for a moment then Surge slurped her drink nosily and everyone started snickering. They continued eating and chatting. And then there was a huge squeal. They whipped around to see three girls who looked like they were about to explode with excitement.

"Are you Speed? That is so cool!"

Tommy leant back looking smug.

"Yeah."

"And that's **Jubilee**! Oh you are so cool! I used to pretend I was you all the time! You are so **lucky**! You've been a superhero since you were –what, thirteen! I'd do anything to do that!"

Jubilee shook her head.

"It's not all it's cracked up to be."

"And you're Surge, aren't you! The Young X-Man!"

"It's the blue hair, isn't it? And the gloves. That always gives it away."

Curt sat there waiting for the girls to notice him. They didn't. Curse of a full-face mask. They were gabbling happily but he noticed the forced smile on Surge's face and Jubilee mouthing 'Not food, not food' over and over again.

"Hey, Dad's given me permission to invite you lot around to our place. Seriously, you should check out the training rooms. And I can show you how I got here before you lot. I mean, I won't be able to run across water like you can but I **can** make you all look super-slow, even when you're running as fast as you can. And there's a kid at the school who has the latest Shi'ar games console. It's telepathic VR."

The girls turned to him and stared for a long moment, not looking at all impressed.

"And who are **you**?"

Curt grinned.

"Curt Logan. Poison. Wolverine's kid. Xixy still calls me Xixswaldraster, Bond-Prince of the K'Meeri Empire, which I use to taunt Kid Gladiator."

And then he sauntered off to pay, looking incredibly smug. Speed made a dissatisfied noise.

"And he calls **me** big-headed…"

* * *

><p>Phoenix raised an eyebrow.<p>

"So **that's** what he spent his teenage years doing? Matchmaking his friends?"

"Admit it. He was at least better at spotting a potential match than you were."

"We agreed never to talk about me trying to set you up with Luke Cage."

"**You** said it, not me."

"I officially hate you."


	185. Potentials

**Memories**

Potentials

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

_She woke up and froze. She was lying on a soft bed, with warm arms around her. Since when had Logan held her close? And then she opened her eyes and saw Kurt, his eyes half-closed and an odd smile on his face._

"…_Kurt…? I'm…not dead…?"_

_He smiled sleepily._

"_You gave it a good shot. Steve found Jamie. Etana's been looking after him."_

_She tried to get up but his arm was pinning her down._

"_You need rest. Magnus barely managed to get the shards out."_

"_Kurt…"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Are we really free of them?"_

"_You are free of him Tora." No need to mention who the 'he' was._

"_Kurt…"_

"_Yes?"_

"_Did you get the papers?"_

"_You won't be needing them. Jen put together a pretty good defence and got an annulment. Logan's still on the run but you're not married anymore. You never were."_

_She stared at him, eyes widening as she realised what he was saying. And then he kissed her, as he had never dared to before._

xXx

"_Mattie, Mattie, Mattie. Does it **have** to be like this?"_

_Daredevil stiffened. He knew she would do this. He knew the Tigress was a canny manipulator and knew which buttons to press. When she had first arrived on the scene, everyone thought she was a vigilante, her ruthless efficiency when dealing with the Kingpin and other crime-lords suggesting that she was determined to rid the world of crime. But instead of dropping, the crime rate soared. She challenged Magneto, and won, after using a small device she claimed 'was **gifted** to me by you'. She defeated Dr Doom. The Hand, AIM and HYDRA all fell at her feet. And then she stood as the leader of a criminal network that spanned the globe. She ruthlessly exterminated any criminals who didn't agree to work for her. The first to confront her was Spider-Man and that fight had been terrible. The Tigress had held a pretty red-head over a bridge and smiled cruelly._

"_Oh dear. My dear Spider-Man, we appear to be repeating ourselves. How would you like MJ to go the same way as Gwen, **Peter**? Oh, I know who you are. I know **everything** about you. I know how you **killed** Gwen Stacy, snapping her neck when you tried to save her. Shall I drop your new girlfriend, Peter? Shall I? Or will you agree that this is all a petty misunderstanding. We could work so **well** together."_

_Spider-Man had begged. Pleaded. But refused to give up. When Tigress released her hostage, he had tried to leap to grab her but she held him back._

"_Web her Spider-Man. Web her like you did Gwen Stacy and know you killed another woman."_

_Spider-Man had been unmasked, humiliated then killed. People took her seriously then. She fought the Avengers and killed one of their number -the archer- on their first fight. The X-Men barely escaped with their lives. She picked them off one by one. The Punisher's body was found in New Orleans, stuffed and posed in a cruel imitation of life. Iron Fist was kept as a 'pet' in a cage. Luke went in to rescue him. Their mutilated bodies were placed on the streets as a warning. And now she had come for him._

"_Mattie. You wonder who I am? I know you want to know. So how about we sit down and talk sweetly and you can find out what they did to me."_

_He pulled again at the ropes._

"_Here, I'll take that pretty little mask off. Now Mattie, shall we talk? What do you want to ask me?"_

"_Who **are** you?"_

"_Well that's the thing. I didn't really know. But I suppose I am Marie Circen, but I've not been that since I was a child."_

"_Why are you doing this?"_

_She leant in so her hot breath warmed his cheek._

"_The same reason as you are. Revenge. The United States Government authorised a set of scientists to steal a child, torture her, turn her into a living weapon, shape her and mould her until she was the perfect killing machine. Oh, she was so __**wonderful**__. She dealt with all those messy little situations and never questioned their orders. They didn't even have to __**pay**__ her. They had a weapon, assassin, spy and toy all rolled into one little package. Unfortunately, the things keeping her docile were shorted out by a rather interesting little power. The ability to see between realities. She behaved perfectly until released. Then she killed every single one of the men who had treated her as an object not a person all those years and now I want __**vengeance**__. I want every last _connard_ who authorised my torture, imprisonment and multiple rapes to suffer. Just like I did."_

"_Why attack the Avengers? The X-Men?!"_

"_Where were they when I was pleading desperately inside my head, as they forced me to humiliate myself, debase myself to **them**?! They swear to help humankind but I don't see them speaking out against atrocities committed by their precious country. I don't see any of **them** held against their will from when they were two-years-old and tortured and trained and conditioned! I don't see any of **them** being tortured for **crying**! I have **never** seen any of them made to kneel in a cell while lewd comments are thrown at them as man after man abuses them! They stand up for the body that tortured me. They stood by. By standing aside they condoned it."_

_He gulped and then she leant forward._

"_You have never attacked me. I never expected you to know what happened to me. You have never condoned what happened to me. I mean you no harm."_

_The ropes holding his arms fell and he tensed, preparing to attack._

"_I should warn you, if you attempt to attack me, the speakers in the walls will send out interlocking sound waves. You will be blinded. More than you already are of course."_

"_How do you know all this? You know all our weaknesses."_

"_I know them because you **tell** me. You all tell me, so trusting and sweet, never once thinking that you condemn yourselves. I have an offer to you. My use of the crime networks is only until I have justice. Then I plan to dissolve them all. Crime sickens me. In case you hadn't noticed, the trafficking and drugs-running had all ceased under my command. I want you to help me. Help me find justice."_

"_It's not justice you want. It's revenge!"_

"_Is not justice motivated by vengeance? Matt, I mean you no harm but if you refuse you will have set yourself up as my enemy. And my enemies **die**. I know who you care about. Foggy Nelson. I have a permanent watch on him. All I have to do is say the word and he dies. All those you care about. But why listen to me? Elektra, please talk to our dear friend."_

"_Elektra…"_

_She stepped in and he knew it was her._

"_Hello Matt."_

"_Elektra… Why are you doing this?"_

"_Matt, we are all so **petty**. We talk and we plan and we let stuff like Tigress's torture go unpunished. We call ourselves heroes and defend guilty people! Matt, trust me. She's lived through more than anyone I've ever met. You always go on about justice. Please Matt. Help her get justice."_

_He could tell she wasn't lying._

"_What about Spider-Man? Heroes for Hire?"_

"_Spider-Man set himself up against her. So did Heroes for Hire."_

_Matt gulped._

"_I can't join you."_

_He heard Elektra sigh._

"_I'm sorry Matt."_

_And a sai touched his chest._

xXx

_She landed with Kurt and Hope then swore._

"_Kurt, stop being so stupid. Have a rest. You'll kill yourself."_

_He coughed and she caught him as he fell._

"_Stop it. Fine, we are staying here until you get your breath back, you stupid fuzzy elf!"_

"_Are you babying me, Tora?"_

_She grinned at him._

"_Come on, Elf. You're normally the one stopping me doing something stupid. I'm just returning the favour."_

"_Yes, I am aren't I?"_

_And then the ground exploded. Bastion stared at them. Tora immediately stepped between the robot, Hope and Kurt._

"_Kurt, get out. Get out now."_

"_Tora…"_

"_GO!"_

_Kurt blinked at her then grabbed Hope's arm and teleported away. Bastion prepared to leave but Tora threw her hand up and placed them in a huge bubble of water._

"_Just you and me, sweetie. Oh, and I've been looking forward to this ever since you tortured Jubilee. Come on. We all know I'm as big a threat as the Messiah. I'm the Dragon! Come on Bastion. Don't stand me up now."_

_The hand moved so fast she almost wasn't ready for it. *Almost being the operative word. The claws slide right through the arm and into the head. But the metal meshed together and Tora groaned._

"_Not fair. Robots aren't supposed to heal."_

_The fight was confined in the enclosed bubble and Tora soon had to change the thickness of the membrane to allow her to breath. Dying of asphyxiation when trying to save the Mutant Messiah probably wouldn't read for a very good epitaph. She slashed Bastion's head and chest and arms and he just kept healing. She snarled and knew that this battle would go down in history no matter who won._

_The bubble shot out of the alley and people screamed and then they stopped when they realised that the bubble was preventing them from being hurt. People started cheering. Mostly for her but she heard one person shout something about killing the mutie scum._

_It couldn't last. Holding the bubble took too much power and concentration. She wasn't fighting at her full capacity and Bastion knew it._

"_You and your genetic filth shall all die."_

_She ducked the swipe and stabbed him again._

"_Oh yeah? You can't stop evolution."_

_And then she was too slow –a child screamed and she automatically glanced over her shoulder- and then she howled. She looked down at her chest, at Bastion's fist stuck into her chest, having broken adamantium bones. She looked up, shocked and confused._

"_You can't…"_

_The bubble faded out and she stared at him. She never thought she'd die like this. Maybe being killed by Dark Phoenix. Or a crazy Asgardian. Or maybe a Celestial. Not Bastion. Not the robot she had taken to pieces when they first met. She looked up again and saw a child staring at her. A child wearing a t-shirt with her plastered on it, in a suitably dramatic pose. Her mouth moved but no words came out. And then Bastion had her heart right in front of her. She winced but hoped it would heal. No luck. He plunged his hand back into her, this time under her rib cage and she felt him grasp her spine. She looked up again._

"_True death only effected by spinal cord removal."_

_And the metal was ripped from her and all she could do was teeter slightly back and forth, mouthing names over and over again, wishing they'd come for her. _Jamie… Eva… Curtis… Logan… Ro… Kurt…

_And then she fell backwards and she saw Bastion turn away and she knew he'd only do that if she wasn't going to survive. She mouthed once more. _Logan_… And then one of the bystanders was leaning over her._

"_Ma'am? Ma'am? Are you still here?"_

_She opened her mouth. Closed it. And finally spoke._

"_Kids… My kids… My babies… I… I…"_

_The guy swore._

"_You have kids?"_

"_Th- Th- Three…"_

"_Three kids? What are they like?"_

_She knew what he was doing. Trying to get her to fix on something to keep her alive until the medics or Elixir or **someone** turned up. But no one would come. Not until it was too late. Her fingers scrabbled on the tarmac again and she felt her nails rip._

"_Jamie… eldest… smart… so smart… four and…chess…player…"_

"_Jamie. Think of Jamie, Ma'am. Who else?"_

"_Eva…baby girl…like her dad… Going…to be…tough…like nails… Tomboy…"_

"_Jamie and Eva… Who else? Who's your third kid?"_

"_Curt… Eva's twin…taken…now teenager…favourite…not supposed…to have…favourites…but he's…so…sweet…makes me…laugh…so funny…so strong…so special…"_

"_Jamie, Eva and Curt? Anyone else?"_

"_Laura…step-daughter…so sad…too like me…lonely…so lonely… I…I promised…take her shopping…sometime…"_

"_Who else?"_

"_Logan… My _Carcajou_… Saved me… saves me… over and over…keeps me anchored…keeps me human…"_

"_Logan, Laura, Curt, Jamie and Eva. Keep thinking of them. Keep thinking of them."_

"_Not…finished…"_

"_Who else?"_

"_Stevie…godson…Cap's…kid…his mother…killed…promised…look after…"_

"_Think of him. Think of Stevie and all your family."_

"_Kurt…"_

"_Curt? Your son?"_

"_No… Kurt… my…hero… always there… lets me…cry on…him when…all gets too much… Made him go…kept him safe… Kurt…tell him…sorry… tell them all sorry…"_

"_Ma'am? Dragon, stay awake! Stay awake!"_

"_Name…not…Dragon…"_

"_What is it?"_

"_Tora… call me Tora… really Marie…but don't use… Never learnt… Tora…am Tora…"_

"_Stay with us Tora. The medics are here."_

_She shook her head slowly._

"_He left…dying…only leave…if dying… tell…X-Men…he…breaks…adamantium… tell family…so sorry… Sorry…had to…leave… Tell them…all of them…"_

"_Logan and Jamie and Eva and Curt and Laura and Stevie and Kurt?"_

"_Tell them… tell them I…I…I love…love them…all… couldn't…have better…family…love my family…"_

_And then she heard a soft 'bamf' and Kurt had her in his arms and all she could see was his huge eyes._

"_Tora! Tora! Don't do this to me! Don't die on me! Please, don't die! We all need you! I need you! And if you die in my arms right now, I will never forgive you! What are we going to do without your acid tongue? Come on Tora, we all need to have someone to make fun of our flaws. Come on. Stay awake. Josh is coming. Please Tora…"_

_He was crying. She didn't want him to cry._

"_Take…home…want to…die home…"_

"_You aren't going to die. I'm not going to let you die. Come on Tora, don't do this to me."_

"_Home…"_

_And then they were on the beach at Utopia and she heard screams. People calling her name but all she could do was stare at the huge golden eyes and try and speak._

"_Kurt…sorry…love you…tell Logan…kids…love them…please…"_

_And then she felt an oddly peaceful sensation and a being made of black and silver fire suddenly appeared over Kurt's shoulder._

* * *

><p>Phoenix snuffled a bit. A handkerchief materialised in front of her and she rolled her eyes.<p>

"Show off."


	186. Agony

**Memories**

Agony

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

They all stood in a circle. Curt gulped.

"Are you sure about this, Jubes? I could hurt you…"

"You could also give me my powers back. I'm not afraid."

Curt gulped.

"I am. I don't want to hurt you. Because… Because… Because-you're-the-best-thing-that's-ever-happened-to-me, okay!"

"Curt. Listen to me. I trust you. I trust you to do this and not hurt me."

Curt gulped, closed his eyes then relaxed.

"I'm ready."

And then the orange dragon materialised around him and he gasped, whether in pain or amazement, no one was quite sure. He reached out. And Nori could hear him muttering something under his breath.

"Doughnut, doughnut, doughnut… Chocolate sprinkles… Vanilla icing… Pastry… Jam… There! Not backwards… Forwards… Forwards… **Forwards**…"

And then they both screamed and collapsed backwards. Pyrotechnics shot up into the air and Nori cheered.

"You did it!"

And then she froze. Jubilee's head had snapped up and her eyes were blood-red. A wild vampire was always terrifying. And suddenly Noriko wondered exactly how long Curt had forced Jubilee forward. How long had she gone without feeding? Jubilee lunged and Surge screamed. Then gasped as everything slowed down. It felt like they were moving through treacle and Curt was running unimpeded between Jubilee and Noriko then time snapped back to normal and Jubilee collided with Curt and her teeth dug deep into his neck. Curt gave a little, helpless cry and the two onlookers were frozen in horror as they watched the vampire feed. Curt's knees buckled and he fell. Surge tried to move forward but Speed caught her arm.

"No. He wants to do it like this."

"How do you know?!"

"Because if he didn't, Poison would have her pinned against the wall until he had a chance to give her a blood pouch."

And then Jubilee drew away, her lips red with blood and a look of horror on her face.

"Curt… No…"

He was pale, almost white. He tilted forward and back slightly then crashed face-first into the floor. Tommy shot forward and picked him up. Slapped his face.

"Come on, Curty-Boy! Wake up, you idiot! Come on! I'm not going to let my best mate die on me! Come on! Wake up, you stupid, foolish **hero**! You and your freaking hero complex! If you die, who's going to make jokes at Billy!? Who's going to help me blow stuff up!?"

And then Curt coughed and grinned at him.

"I thought you didn't do feelings, Tommy? Nice to know my best friend likes me for my talents in handling explosive substances."

Tommy promptly dropped him.

"I still don't do feelings."

Curt grinned as he weakly pushed himself up.

"Yeah right. You know, everyone thought that about Magneto until he started crying when he thought Cia was dead."

"Whoa! Who's 'Cia'? And Magneto **cried**?!"

"Well, he didn't **cry** as such but he kept going down to talk to her tree. Hey, did you know I'm your adoptive uncle?"

"WHAT!?"

"Obviously not. Well, you see, Magneto was adopted unofficially by the Shadow and she had also adopted Dad so I'm your adoptive uncle… Or something…"

"First cousins once removed. Now would someone care to tell me what is going on!"

They all turned to see Dragon standing in the doorway, tapping her foot, arms crossed. And as one, all four teenagers gulped.

"Uh, oh…"

* * *

><p>"Was she very hard on them?"<p>

"No, not really. Grounded Curt for a week –no dates, no heroing- for being 'reckless'; congratulated Jubilee then told her that trying to drink from Curt again would result in being strapped to a crucifix and left out in the sun while silver spikes edged towards her; sent Noriko home with the message that she was to be kept on Utopia for a week and just **glared** at Tommy until he went bright red."

* * *

><p>Tommy paused just before he left and grinned at Nori.<p>

"Next time, no crazy vampires or chronokinetics?"

She grinned right back.

"I don't know. That would just be boring."

Tommy smirked.

"I agree. So, vampires, zombies or dinosaurs next time?"

"I don't know. How about all of them at once?"

"I'm looking forward to it."

Finally, a girl who had the same taste in dates as he had. And he didn't have to slow down for her.

* * *

><p>"Did it work out? In the end?"<p>

"What do you think, Phoenix?"

"No."

"No. They were both too fast."

* * *

><p>Tora paused as she walked down a street. A strong sense of <em>déjà vu<em>. Only it wasn't. She swiftly walked to a nearby coffee shop, ordered, sat down and let the winds take her.

_She was walking down the street, head downcast and then she caught the scent and turned her head. A teenager was walking towards her, looking so like she had all those years ago, when she first met Wanda in that barn in Transia, after she saved her sister without even knowing it. The spade had dropped from her hands as she saw a woman with her face, a woman who looked identical to her in all but the colouration. And then her voice cracked slightly._

"_Eva…"_

"_Mother."_

_Such coldness tore through Marie. She remembered seeing the infant; reaching for her daughter, her firstborn; only to be told that the children needed to be taken away from her. They were weak. They were dying. And then the knowledge that they were dead. Dead and she wasn't allowed to see their bodies. Eva… Her baby… And then she threw up the barriers to close herself off from her grief. Eventually, she made her way to Doom. And all that followed. Eva was standing looking torn and Marie wondered whether she could disapprove of her child's choice in clothing._

"_Yes?"_

"_I want to talk to you."_

_Marie nodded and led her daughter to her tiny apartment. She opened the door and coughed slightly. Eva stood stoically, refusing a seat. Then she glared at her mother._

"_Maybe you didn't kill her but you're responsible for the death of the best friend I ever had."_

_Marie lowered her head._

"_I understand Scott's pain. Remember, Eva, he is not the only one who has lost a child."_

"_Yeah. But I don't see him killing his teammates or destroying a whole **species**."_

_Marie turned her head away then looked back._

"_Do you know who was the first man to kiss me was? It was Bobby Drake. Iceman. We were teenagers, he was an X-Man, I was an Avenger and we were madly in love. We were going to elope."_

"_What happened?"_

_Marie laughed, almost bitterly._

"_We grew up. By the time Professor Xavier was assembling his second team –my team- to rescue the first X-Men from Krakoa, we had fallen apart. I fell in love with Logan –your father- and Bobby had moved on. Or so I thought…"_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_It is of no consequence. What matters… What matters isn't me. Not anymore. You and Curt are the most important things in my life and I would offer to act as your mother should but we both that is an impossibility."_

"_What do you want of me?"_

"_I… I want to know what I have missed… What I have lost… I want to know my daughter."_

_Eva seemed to sag. And then she smiled weakly._

"_I never really had a name. Not as a kid. Well, it wasn't really **childhood**. They called Curt 'Wolf' and me 'Lynx'. I still remember when we escaped. We were running, so fast, so far. We… we knew we were related, that we were twins. But that was it. Nothing more. And then one morning we woke up and Curt wasn't a mutant anymore. We were on the run for over a week and then…then Curt found the symbiote, dying in a back alley. He was always too curious for his own good. They bonded… Saved each other. And then Nate found us…"_

_Marie snorted._

"_He was okay then. Crazy, but okay. The Young Avengers gathered. Nate named most of us. He called me Tigress. At the request of the real Avengers and X-Men, I took the name Wolverina instead."_

_Marie nodded._

"_I understand."_

"_Do you? Do you **really** understand what they thought about you? They used your name as a curse. They always were **terrified** that someone else would turn out like you. They had countless systems set up, to alert them to **any** and **all** bursts of energy that happened to **remotely** resembled Dragon! Marie, they were **terrified** that one day, you'd come back and finish the job you started. And then you come back, all-powerful, all-knowing and you shut them down like they're all little children and Doom steals Dragon and then you just… You just order a **cosmic entity** back to you, like it's nothing that you can make something as powerful as Galactus do as you want it to."_

_Marie shook her head._

"_No. I ordered a part of myself back to me. That's all I was, in the end. An empty shell of grief and rage, filled with unlimited power. And when it comes down to it, that's all I shall be. Only hopefully, instead of grief and rage, next time I'll be more…balanced…"_

_Eva played with her hair._

"_Why though? Why did the supposed death of two children you had never met throw you off like that?"_

_Marie laughed bitterly._

"_I knew you. I knew both of you. I carried you with me for nine months. I felt you moving –I felt your **life**. I felt you shift as I slept, kick when I moved too fast. I knew you both. And… And I used to get Emma to link our minds. I sent you thoughts. I told you I loved you, every day. You didn't understand but…you understood the feelings. The…the only consolation I had was the knowledge that my children had died knowing that I loved them. Eva, you can't understand until you're a mother yourself. I knew you so well. Why do you think I named you, even after your 'death'? You were never 'the twins' to me. Never 'the babies'. You were always Eva and Curt, my children who I would have given anything to watch grow up."_

_Eva gulped._

"_Yeah… Well… The Young Avengers grew. Cassie and Kate… They showed me… They taught me about life and living and normality. But when it came to it, they went home and me and Curt stayed in the building with Nate, who was always so busy. And… And then we found Tommy… He was homeless, just like us. He came to stay with us. And… He used to be so cruel to me… And then… then Cassie told me what he meant… He liked me, but was afraid to show it. So… so I started teasing him back and… and… er…"_

"_My daughter has a boyfriend? Who was in juvie? Excuse me, I do believe your father will be turning in his grave."_

"_Yeah well, you'd know about that- Sorry! I am so, **so** sorry!"_

_Marie's face had crumpled and the woman collapsed to her knees, choking on nothing. Eva knelt._

"_I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"_

_And then the eyes looked up at her, so dark and conflicted._

"_He was so…so precious… I…I truly loved him… So much… So unique… He loved me too. Ever since he first saw me, he said… Ever since we first trained together and he saw me fight… He said he loved me the moment he watched me destroy my opponent robot before anyone else, including him."_

_And then she pressed her hands to her face to try and quell the tears._

"_I thought he was an animal…"_

Tora jerked back to reality, then glanced down at her cold coffee. No point. Not now.

She rose, paid and left. And all she could think of was her daughter.

* * *

><p>"I always suffered from daughters."<p>

"Oh come on, Phoenix. You and Ray got on great."

"Really? **Really**?"


	187. Restrictions

**Memories**

Restrictions

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Curt shook his head.

"I can't do it. I forced Jubes forward a few months in her personal timestream. Something's going to happen then that repowers her… maybe a lot of mutants… but I don't dare try it with anyone other than an immortal. Anyway, a few months isn't that long. Most of us have waited so long, few more weeks won't matter."

Logan tilted his head away.

"I wish I could say that. But Curt, the mutant race could be wiped out in a **day**. We can't afford to wait three or four months. Also, I need to talk to you about your ridiculous endangerment of both yourself and Jubilee."

"You're being my headmaster now, aren't you, Dad?"

"And your team leader."

"Dad, you threw me off X-Force."

"For good reason. I should **never** had let you participate in the Apocalypse fiasco…"

"Dad, you didn't know he was a kid. Anyway, Evan's totally cool."

"That's not the point. You then followed us into the World, fought Deathlocks, insisted on entering the reality jump and going to a post-apocalyptic world, attacked that world's version of Apocalypse-"

"Who happened to be you."

"Flirted rampantly with your alternate reality half-sister-"

"I didn't know she was my sister!"

"Proceeded to moon the Horseman of War-"

"He was annoying me."

"Acted with astounding immaturity in the face of death-"

"Wade always told me you had to laugh at Death so she'd take umbrage and refuse to take you."

"Then you returned home, and against my **expressed** orders, you went to take on Archangel alone-"

"I knew I could take him."

"-Nearly dying in the process. Then you decide that teasing Tigress was a good idea-"

"How was I to know she wasn't at all like Maman?"

"And then when your mother grounds you, banning you from X-Men missions, you promptly move in with the Young Avengers until your period of being grounded wears out."

"Maman should have been more specific."

"Curt! This is serious! I… Do you know how **scared **I was when I saw you taking on Warren alone? Look… I've already lost you once. Please don't make me lose you again."

Curt gulped, stood up then hugged his dad.

"Thanks, Dad. I… I promise I'll be more careful from now on."

* * *

><p>"How long did that last?"<p>

"All of three minutes. For a chronokinetic, he was **really** very impatient."

* * *

><p>Tora sat in a medative pose, expanding the water molecules in the air under her so she hovered off the snow. Sure, the cold didn't bother her but she couldn't be bothered to put her uniform into the wash. She concentrated on her breathing and emptied her mind. Which was easier said than done. Snippets of other realities would slip across her mind. She inhaled.<p>

_Now Eva, close your eyes. Reach out. Find the centrepoint then **strike**! Look, you've killed your opponent._

Exhaled.

_No, Jamie. Not today. I told you I'd tell you about your father when you're ready. You aren't._

Inhaled.

_You betrayed me, Jean! I considered you my **friend**! And I find you telepathically making my husband believe you're me, just to get back at Scott! Run, Jean. Run. Because the next time I see you, I swear on all I hold dear that I. Shall. Kill. You._

Exhaled.

_I have no choice in this matter. It is my duty to kill all who threaten the reign of the Most High Lord. Free will has no place in my life._

Inhaled.

And then, blissfully, peace. Tora opened her eyes and stared at the brilliant green ones gazing steadily back at her.

"You found me."

"It wasn't too hard. You always had your favourite places."

"Did you do that, Wanda?"

"Do what?"

"Don't give me that innocent act. I can smell you lying. You just made yourself my anchor."

Wanda sat down on the snow next to Tora.

"Look… Tora, you're the only person I've ever met who… who sees me as Wanda. Not as Pietro's twin. Not as Magneto's daughter. Not as Vision's wife. Not as Tommy and Billy's mother. Just as me. And if I can repay you by helping you deal with this… well, that's only the tiniest portion of what I owe you."

Tora closed her eyes.

"Wanda, I'm not even that sure who I am anymore. Am I Marie? Am I Tora? Am I Xii? Am I Tigress or Dragon? Or am I something in between all that?"

"I'll tell you who you are. You're the one person I trust more than anyone else in the world. Because… Because you said you –or another you- caused M-Day… Can you?"

Tora smiled.

"I'll go back to the beginning, shall I?"

Wanda smiled.

"I was raised by a family of travellers. They found me when I was less than a week old, my mother lying beside me, living only long enough to tell them my name. I grew up with them. And I didn't really care about who I was… Not until I injured myself and it started healing. I left my family then. I… I needed time alone. And I was in this barn in Transia about three months later. A girl in red came flying through the ceiling. A man followed her and started threatening her. She threw red light at him but nothing happened. He was laughing, so I crept up behind him and clouted him around the head with a spade."

Wanda snickered.

"And then I dropped the spade because I was staring into my own face, only… It was like someone had taken my face and recoloured it. Green eyes instead of amber; auburn hair instead of red. And then all these other people turn up… Cap, Pietro, Clint…"

Wanda smiled softly.

"The Kooky Quartet."

"Quintet by the end of it. You insisted I returned to the States with the Avengers as a member. I did and a series of blood tests revealed we were half-siblings. I trained hard, and soon discovered I did more than heal."

"Claws and senses?"

"Yeah. We got on well… Cap trained me to be the best I could, and I started dating Bobby Drake. That didn't work out."

"Go on."

"Well, we were too young and then there was Pietro, being all protective…"

"He does that."

They shared a slight smile.

"I left. The Avengers… They weren't working out for me. I'd left my family to find out who I was. The Avengers weren't helping. And then Professor X approached me. The original team had been captured. Would I be interested in helping form a new team to rescue the old? I agreed. Maybe the X-Men could give me the answers the Avengers couldn't. We saved the old team. Thunderbird died. Jean became Phoenix. Magneto captured us and Hank –Beast. We escaped but the base, underneath a volcano –was destroyed. Jean and I escaped one way, the other X-Men another. We both thought the others had died. I… I didn't know what to do. I'd found a new life but without the X-Men it was worthless. I contemplated returning the Avengers but that would feel like failure. Instead I went to work with Dr MacTaggert on Muir Island. Jean arrived shortly but something was wrong. She… She was different. I confronted her on it but… The X-Men suddenly arrived, alive and well and er… Logan proceeds to kiss me senseless, telling me that he really **should **get better at displaying his emotions. And before I can kiss him back or slap him –I'm still not sure what I wanted to do- Proteus attacked. We were so busy. Running around, saving the world. I couldn't speak to either Jean or Logan. And… The Hellfire Club. I was the first to confront them. Emma tried to turn my mind inside out. I fought back. Jean was just **standing** there as the Black Queen. I begged her to help me. And **somehow**, I reached a part of her. I brought Dark Phoenix to life with my pleas. And when we were on the Moon fighting for her… Wanda, she **killed **me. She became Dark Phoenix again and burnt right through me. The… The X-Men were horrified. And then… Then **it** came. Like a miracle…"

"What did?"

Tora turned to Wanda, her eyes unreadable.

"Life Itself. I was **reborn**. As Dragon, I fought Jean. As Dragon I made her confront what she was. And in the knowledge that our fight could only end with both our deaths, Jean committed suicide. Scott was distraught, the war with the Shi'ar was averted and I lost my power –or so I thought."

"You thought?"

"I never really lost it. I just supressed it, fearing that I'd turn out like Jean. I left the X-Men –I felt **I** was the one responsible for Jean's death- wandering for so long. Logan found me. I tried to push him away. I still wanted to know **who** I was. He asked me to either return or let him come with me. I went back with him –the X-Men needed me, he said. Then he corrected himself. **He** needed me. I stayed with the X-Men. We got married shortly after Jean returned. She became Phoenix again and I… Suddenly I got all the Dragon powers back. You needed Dragon in case Phoenix got out of control. And then I had my twins. I was told they died before I even got to hold them…"

"Tora…"

"And I couldn't cope… I manipulated the Shi'ar into attacking Earth. Bobby was killed. The Brotherhood attacked as well… Two students were killed. And finally I lost it. I reanimated Jean's body, forced her to walk right into the school, right to her memorial statue and then I made her explode."

Tora's head dropped in shame.

"It killed twenty-three students, the Professor, Emma, Logan and Scott Lang; who had come to talk about setting up a school for other powered children in partnership with Charles. The X-Men realised I was unstable, packed me off to stay with Father and then… then… Whiteness. And everything is different."

Wanda tilted her head.

"We're sisters there… Are we…?"

"No. Not here. It's been known to happen, so don't worry."

Wanda suddenly sighed.

"You've always shown at least some resistance to reality warps… Immutability… Either through Dragon, or your alternates or just your sheer bloody-mindedness. So what was different about my warp?"

Tora was staring upwards in silence. Wanda pressed her point.

"You're immune to all reality warps, bar mine. What does that say?"

Tora got up and glanced over her shoulder.

"It means that, deep down, I wanted what you created."

And then she walked away, feet crunching in the snow, leaving her friend to stare after her in amazement.

* * *

><p>"Whoa! Hold it <strong>right<strong> there, sister! She **wanted** House of M? Seriously?"

The masked woman shook her head slowly.

"Not exactly. What she **wanted** was a world where her kind could live in peace."


	188. Stop the World, I Want To Get Off

**Memories**

Stop the World, I Want to Get Off

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Her fingers splayed out, wide and soft.

"Nathan…"

The man turned to her, his eyes so torn with turmoil. The virus shooting right through his system.

"Nathan, what's wrong?"

"The…Avengers… Kill…Hope…"

Tora's brow furrowed.

"That's stupid. Why would they do that? After all-"

She cut off. Nathan stepped forward.

"Explain…"

"Etana had books of prophecies, running six centuries past her death. The Avengers were never at threat from the Phoenix. So why would they kill Hope? Nathan, let me fix this…"

Her hand reached out but he pushed it away.

"Tell me. What **were** you going to say?"

Tora leant forward, pressed her lips to his ear and whispered something into Cable's ear. Captain America could only see Cable's eyes widen in horror and amazement. Then he stepped back.

"She's not in danger?"

"Cable, know this. I will **die** to protect Hope. Now let me **heal** you."

Her hand reached out and her fingers met his. Both let out little gasps of pain as water swirled around them both, the metal retreated and Tora's eyes rolled up. Logan was screaming her name but she ignored that, not even letting Nathan complain when she'd pushed the TO mesh back into his arm.

_Tora, you don't have to…!_

_I. Do. Things. Properly. Or. Not. At. All._

The metal was being forced down, into his hand, down into one finger and then it was gone. Dragon and Cable stared at each other for a few brief seconds then both fell backwards, crashing to the floor. Logan abandoned his attempt to pull the Avengers out of the chairs and instead ran to Tora's side, checking her pulse, breathing and pupil dilation.

"Why do you always have to be such a **hero**?!"

Then he remembered himself and flicked a few switches, lifting Cap out.

"Yep, wait a little. Get used to having your body back. Seriously, I spent over a week in one of those. It ain't nice."

Steve pressed his hand to his forehead.

"That… was terrible…"

"Likely we'd still be there. If it weren't for Storm and her lockpicks. And her coordination of a four-year-old when she was just a baby."

"What do we do with Cable?"

"I'll take my son."

They turned to see Cyclops and Hope, who screamed, ran forward and flung her arms around Cable.

"DAD!"

Logan glanced up at Steve.

"You alright?"

"What did she say, Logan? What did Tora say that stopped Cable in his tracks?"

Logan shook his head.

"I don't know. She obviously didn't want us to hear it. I mean, I've known something's been wrong for a while…"

"What do you mean?"

"She's fine on the X-Men. Enjoys it, which is a minor miracle in itself. But she's withdrawing from the New Avengers. Not quite happy hanging around afterwards. Don't know why."

"You think it's to do with what she said? Or **didn't** say? 'The Avengers were never at threat from the Phoenix.' That implies we have something that **will** threaten us."

Logan shrugged.

"I'll ask her when she wakes up."

Then he gently picked her up.

"I better get her back to Hank. She overloaded and that means he'll want her in observation for a while."

"How often does she do this? 'Overload' or whatever?"

"Very rarely. It happens when she's emotionally unstable and starts panicking. Throws too much power into something and wham, she's out like a light!"

"How long will she be out?"

"Depends. Can range from ten minutes to two hours. She loses control at times, forgets that she's just human. Wants to save the universe, not one small part of it. Look, I need to get her back. Trust me on this one."

"You better go. I'll talk with Scott about Cable's behaviour."

Logan frowned.

"Word of advice from a father. Don't think too badly of him. Because if I heard the Avengers were going to be responsible for my kids' death, I'd come after you as well. Give the guy a break."

Then Logan walked out, still cradling Tora to his chest, hunched protectively over her. Steve turned back to Cyclops and Hope, who were bending over Cable, who appeared to have stopped breathing.

"We need to talk about this…"

* * *

><p>"Oh, so sweet how Logan recognised Nate's reasoning for protecting Hope…"<p>

"Phoenix"

* * *

><p>She woke up and the first face she saw was Logan, his 'we need to talk' face glaring down at her. She considered for a moment before giving herself the satisfaction of a long, drawn-out groan.<p>

"How long was I out?"

"An hour."

She sat up, clutching her head. Healing factor, please kick in round about now. Before I have to go and get some painkillers.

"Has Hank cleared me yet?"

"He says, if you can name the noble gases backwards, you're free to go."

She rolled her eyes, sighed, then spoke.

"Radon, Xenon, Krypton, Argon, Neon, Helium. Right, I'm fine, I better head off-"

Logan just stared at her and she sighed.

"Can we **not** do this in the Medical Bay? I hate it when students listen in…"

"Fine. But this needs doing."

She got up, held herself up stiffly, knowing she'd sway otherwise. Walked to the door, wished the room would stop spinning. Don't wobble, because he'll know –rather than just suspect- that her 'I'm fine' routine is just a lie and when she did this –when she overloaded her body and mind with more power than it was designed to take- the world was spinning around faster than she could cope with, not in front of her eyes but under her feet. When she did this… When she pushed herself too far out of humanity; too deep into Dragon; she could **feel** the Earth spinning and the Sun moving and the stars tracing around the centre of the galaxy and it **hurt **because it was information overload and she couldn't move because then it felt too fast because she was shooting off around and around. She could sense time passing and lives living and it felt so **pure** and then there was the crash as you came off the power high and you felt grotty for weeks afterwards. So she'd push herself just that **little** too much to get that feeling of **knowing** and interconnectedness that came with being not-quite-human.

Because Dragon couldn't feel emotions. And emotionless felt so **good** right now, that deadened feeling of drifting and the guilt, ever-present, all-consuming **guilt**.

She reached her room, went in, and turned to face Logan. He was looking exhausted and she suddenly realised that he was barely sleeping anymore, never home and when he was, he managed to plead 'school' to avoid being in the same room alone with her anymore.

"Logan?"

"Listen, Tora, if there's something you want to say, just say it and get it over with."

"What?"

"Look, you don't talk to me, won't spend ten minutes alone with me and basically sleep on the opposite side of the bed so we might as well be in different **rooms**!"

"You've been avoiding me!"

"Because that hurts less than watching your eyes slide over me like I mean nothing!"

She blinked.

"I… I don't want to hurt you…"

"You're hurting me every day but you can't see that! Stop acting so aloof and above us all! I feel you spend more time outside, away from anyone other than the Witch! It feels like you're spending more time with her than your family! Tora, please, stop this… Either leave or snap back!"

"What… What makes you think I want to leave?"

"Maybe the fact you won't even **talk** properly! All you ever talk about is X-Men or Avengers stuff! Never just…talking! When was the last time we ever did something that was just for us!"

"The restaurant…"

"Was stakeout for Steve."

"Er…"

"Face it, Tora. We're putting on a show, a face for the others! But we need to decide. I'm not living like this anymore. Either we sort out our problems or we…we agree that this isn't working out."

Tora's face was ashen.

"No…"

Then she stepped backwards and collapsed into a chair, staring up at him with eyes that suddenly seemed unfocussed and almost child-like.

"Tora?"

She was gently rocking backwards and forwards, a shell-shocked expression on her face. Logan gulped.

"Tora…?"

She wasn't even looking at him so he crouched down to look at her and then she was standing up, her eyes flashing silver and her hair was whipping around her, tips fading into water and Logan suddenly was terrified because even when Tora was being Dragon her golden irises remain but now… now her eyes were the empty silver moons of Dark Dragon and the scars were fading away and her voice, when she finally spoke, was the deep, ancient, **terrible** voice that Logan had last heard four years before, just before Tora died, consumed by her own rage and hatred and fear.

"**Don't you DARE suggest that EVER again**!"

And then she was falling forward and he caught her as she clenched her eyes shut and muttered under her breath words he had to strain to hear.

"I am Tora. I am not **you**. I am Tora. I care. I love. I am **human**. I am not you. I am Tora and I am **human**."

"We need to get you back to the Med-Bay. Trust me, Tora. This is getting out of control."

She clutched at his shirt, her eyes pleading with him.

"Please don't say you meant that… Please…"

"I didn't…not really…"

She smiled weakly and let him lead her out the room and back to the Med-Bay. And Logan shivered once more at the inhuman face of Dark Dragon that had superimposed Tora's features for a split second.

* * *

><p>"That sounds scarily like what happened with me."<p>

"Of course, Phoenix. In the end, that happens to everyone with that power level."


	189. Repression

**Memories**

Repression

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Beast sighed.

"She –to all intents and purposes- appears fine. But, Logan, we don't know **enough** about Dragon to know what's wrong. If it were Phoenix, we could easily find information…legends…**something** about what's going on. Dragon's a blank sheet."

Logan stared at Tora, lying behind the sound-proofed glass, reading with an oddly vacant expression.

"What do you think happened?"

Hank shrugged.

"Emotional loss of control? Logan, Tora is an expert on repressing her emotions. If something happened that caused her to lose it, it would be all too easy for Dark Dragon to make an appearance. You yourself saw the inside of Tora's mind. Describe it to me."

Logan shuddered.

"It… It wasn't like anyone else's. Everything was made of this crystal. Clearish, strong, yet I saw her run right through it. Everything was distorted. It looked like someone had taken a gallery –long hall, floors around the side, clear ceiling- and handed it over to Escher. And the sky through the ceiling…"

"Logan…?"

"It was blood red. There were stars and what I reckon were nebulae. It wasn't like anything I'd ever seen. Heck, I reckon it wasn't anything **anyone** had ever seen. And Emma made us go down instead of up. Everything went dark and it looked like there were bloodstains on the walls and…Hank, the place scared me. It was so beautiful on the surface but when you went further down it was so…broken and corrupted. And that scared me, because that was Tora's mind."

Hank blinked.

"We may require Rachel to delve deeper into Tora's subconscious, see if we can find a way of fixing this."

Logan shook his head.

"I just need to talk to her. Let me go in there, I'll-"

"Not until you tell me what you said that caused her to act like this."

Logan shook his head.

"It doesn't matter. It's never going to be mentioned again."

"Was it Kurt?"

In the room beside them, Tora's head tilted, almost as if she heard what they said. Logan shook his head.

"I'm always careful about that. When she wants to talk about it –and sometimes she does- she opens the conversation."

"Do you think it could be our alternate-reality guests?"

Logan shrugged.

"Darkholme says she's been avoiding him, but then Tigress said that's more out of awkwardness than anything. You know, because those two are…er…"

"Engaged in a relationship of a certain type?"

"Yeah."

"Well, Tigress seems fine around you…"

"They're totally different people. Maybe even more than Darkholme and the Elf are."

Beast glanced back towards Tora.

"Yes… Yes, I can believe that."

Logan looked towards her as well.

"Trust me, Hank. I just need to talk to her."

Beast bit his lip then glanced from Tora to Logan and back again.

"Fine. There won't be sound recordings, but if I tell you to leave, you do. Without argument."

Logan nodded then opened the door. Tora raised her head from her book, an oddly sorrowful look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry. Logan, I could have destroyed so much. I… I lost control and that is inexcusable."

"No… Tora, you've done so well. Keeping all that locked up inside you and never letting it show. It was my fault. I didn't mean what I said. I was angry… Bitter… I hurt you…"

Tora sat up.

"I… I'm sorry I've been so distant… It's just…recently…"

"It's him, I know."

"No! No, Logan, it **isn't**."

"It's…not?"

"No. It's… Logan, you and the kids are the most important things in my life yet suddenly I find out that because someone else has died, I'm going to die as well. And I keep wondering… Why not you? You're the one who I would do anything for. So why was it…him? Why not you or the kids? Why does **he** have to be the one I'll die for!? And I hide because I'm so ashamed of what happened and how weak I am and what you'll think of me!"

Logan was by her side in an instant.

"There's nothing wrong with **feeling**, Tora. Feeling makes you human."

And she gulped softly.

"Yes But bad feeling feeds Dark Dragon. And all I'm capable of feeling right now is…bad stuff…"

Logan reached out and –rather self-consciously- patted her on the back. She glanced at him.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Er… Yes?"

She blinked then the slightest of smiles graced her face.

"Hug. Now."

He smiled softly then slid his arms around her shoulders and rocked her gently back and forth.

* * *

><p>"Oh, how endearingly cute…"<p>

Death ducked as two hands shot towards her as their owners' screamed in unison.

"DEATH!"

* * *

><p>Curt flipped backwards, singing loudly.<p>

"Oh, there were twelve green bottles, sitting on the wall; twelve green bottles, sitting on the wall; and if one green bottle; should accidentally fall; there'd be eleven green bottles, sitting on the wall!"

Patriot glared over his shoulder.

"Poison! QUIT SINGING!"

"You aren't my team leader, Eli-Boy! There were eleven green bottles, sitting on the wall-"

Hawkeye glared at him as well.

"Poison, shut up."

"Okay!"

He flipped over the next man's head and fired webbing into his eyes.

"Take that, racist scumbags!"

Wiccan sighed.

"That was **last** week, Curt. These guys want to set fire to the ozone layer."

"Oh… Take that, environment-wrecking scumbags!"

The leader cackled manically.

"Too late, Young Avengers. Our machine is already on! You'll **never** figure out the controls in time!"

Curt sighed.

"Oh well. Looks like I'll just have to…make some!"

And everything slowed to a standstill and Kate froze, stepping towards the arrow she had just loosed which hung in the air. Curt shouted out a warning.

"It still has its kinetic energy! Touch it, and it'll be like it hit you."

And then everyone rounded on him.

"What did you just do?"

Curt shrugged.

"I'm chronokinetic. I mean, I only found that out last week, but Tommy knew and I've been training and this is **great** because Rachel said I wouldn't be able to stop time completely for **years**!"

"You…stopped…time? Okay, is this some creepy Poison thing?"

"No. It's a Dragon-mutant thing. Long story and this is really very tiring so can we work on defusing the missile?"

"Missile…? Oh yeah!"

They crowded round and started arguing. Finally, Curt sighed.

"Stand back. I'm just going to cut it into itty-bitty bite-sized chunks. Works for Dad all the time."

"Yes, but your dad heals from basically anything."

Curt smirked.

"Yeah. So do I. Also, I'm bulletproof. Beat that, Dad!"

Hulkling shooed the other Young Avengers away.

"Come on, give him another three years and he'll be better than the Beyonder."

Curt grinned.

"I heard that, Teddy!"

"Oops, I meant the Bee! You know, that guy who used Pym Particles?"

"Never heard of him."

Teddy leant in towards Eli.

"That's because he doesn't **exist**, idiot."

"I heard that as well!"

And then he laughed, time snapped back to normal and they punched most of the rest of the bad guys until the New Avengers turned up and started laughing hysterically.

"What? What?"

Finally, Ms Marvel spoke.

"I **love** the little bees stuck on your backs! Anything we should be aware of?"

They rounded on Curt, who smirked and shot up a web.

"Bye, suuuckaaaas!"

* * *

><p>Phoenix glanced over at her masked host.<p>

"I mean, **really**."

"Be a little more polite, Jean. Remember **your** family?"

* * *

><p>Logan did a double-take. Tora was sitting in his chair, in his office, wearing clothes he would <strong>never<strong> imagine her in. Willingly, at least. Hair up in more than just a quick ponytail or bun. And just a trace of make-up, much less than most women would wear but shocking in the fact he doubted Tora had **ever** worn make-up in her life.

"Er… Tora?"

"I cleared it with Hank. Better go and get cleaned up. Our reservations are for seven and they won't let you in like that."

"Wait… What?"

"There's that new Japanese restaurant opening tonight. In Salam Center. You know, the extremely posh one."

"Er… Why?"

She sighed.

"What really rather important event happened six years ago today?"

Logan's face flushed bright red.

"It's our anniversary… Tora, I am **so** sorry…"

She smiled.

"It's fine. Just go and get sorted out. Also, you're paying."

"What? I thought you booked the seats…"

"Yes, but I also got you another anniversary present. So the meal can be your present for me."

He blinked then she rose and walked out before glancing back in.

"Seven. I will castrate you if you are late. _Compris, mon cher?_"

He couldn't halt the grin spreading across his face.

"I won't be. Also, whose clothes are those?"

She blushed.

"I got Ray and Kitty to help me pick them out. Like them?"

She span around, arms above her head like a ballet dancer, showing off the neat cut of the dress. She smirked.

"Although I did decide I don't love you so much I'll wear heels for you. Seriously, I need to be able to run in this."

He laughed. She smiled as well and he marvelled at the effort she'd been putting into appearing more positive since their talk. She still dressed in dark colours and in the field she still didn't banter with her opponents and wore the aggressive and dark uniform she had adopted after Hope's return. But she was more cheerful and didn't bit the heads of students anymore. Well, she was still terse around Quire and Kubark. But that was really rather to be expected. Tora's relationship with the Shi'ar was a little strained. Especially with Gladiator. There was still that rather embarrassing incident on the Moon to be contended with.

She closed the door and Logan started humming as he started sorting his desk out, already feeling a little thrum of satisfaction in his chest.

* * *

><p>Phoenix smiled softly.<p>

"He never stopped loving her. Even when she lost control and threatened everything, he never stopped loving her."


	190. Borrowed

**Memories**

Borrowed

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

He sat back in his chair, waiting for Tora to return and their food to arrive. A sudden squeal made him turn. Two women were staring in at him through the window.

"You're Wolverine, aren't you?"

He grunted and nodded.

"Wow… do you come here often? I mean, will you come here often?"

He shrugged, wishing Tora would return soon.

"Has anyone ever thanked you? For saving the world and stuff?"

He shrugged again.

"Er… Would you like to come with us…?"

He shook his head.

"My wife should be coming over in a minute."

"You're… You're married?"

"Logan."

He turned and breathed a sigh of relief as Tora walked over. She smiled at him.

"Hi. Sorry, queues were terrible."

She leant in to kiss his cheek and he felt a little rush of relief. She'd heard **everything** and decided to play along. He glanced over at the women who were staring with wide eyes. Tora hadn't bothered to hide her scars or her hair. In terms of secret identity, she'd basically decided that if she was recognised in the street, she'd just glare at whoever was pestering her until they ran away screaming about freaky dragon eyes. She slid into the seat and raised the glass of water he'd got for her.

"_Kampai_."

He raised his glass of rice wine in return.

"_Kampai_."

And she smiled at him and he wondered what had made her so cheerful.

* * *

><p>"That's really quite sweet."<p>

* * *

><p>Logan's mouth dropped open as he opened the door into their room with his free hand. Tora giggled and he turned to her.<p>

"How did you do this? I mean, they'd have gone out by now…"

She grinned.

"The advantages of having your alternate reality counterpart in the same house as you is it's **so** easy to explain something to them. In this case, it's my wedding anniversary and would you be able to do me a favour? She just smiled and winked."

Logan looked back into the room, lit with candles and the ice bucket with a bottle in. Tora peered over his shoulder and sighed.

"She went overboard, didn't she?"

He shrugged.

"I don't know. I kinda like it."

She glared at him.

"I'm slightly worried about that look on your face. You're planning something."

"**Me**? Surely not."

"Logan?"

"Come on? How often do we get a chance like this to just…relax?"

"We spent all evening having a normal conversation in a normal restaurant and we didn't have to get up **once** to go save the world."

He smiled at that.

"Yes. It was rather unexpected."

She laughed and rested her free hand on his, pushing his fingers into her other palm.

"How long has it been? Since we last had a totally uninterrupted night just for us?"

Logan closed his eyes, counted back.

"Si- No… Er… I can't even remember…"

Tora smiled and leant over, brushing her lips over his.

"Shall we change that?"

* * *

><p>The pool went glassy and opaque. The masked woman was staring up at the high, domed ceiling, which <strong>should<strong> display a panorama of stars, galaxies and nebulae. Instead, there was…nothing… Not even blackness, because blackness suggested **something**. Just…emptiness… Death of all things… Phoenix touched her companion's shoulder.

"It's okay. Everything **will** turn out fine. I **promise**."

* * *

><p>They were lying close, staring up at the ceiling. Tora finally spoke.<p>

"I'm thinking of starting counselling. For some of the students. Broo and Genesis in particular."

Logan glanced at her.

"Any particular reason?"

Tora shrugged.

"Broo… He's worried. He doesn't show it, but he's **terrified** that one day he's going to end up like the other Brood. And Genesis…? Logan, we can't keep lying to him forever. We **have** to tell him the truth someday. I'd rather he finds out from someone he trusts than from doing his own digging –which he **is** doing- or being told by a fellow student."

"And?"

"Would you be able to furnish me with an office? I'd rather **not** have serious heart-to-heart conversations in a classroom. Too easy to be walked in on, right as I'm explaining to Broo that what people **think** you are and what you actually **are** are completely different things."

"And?"

"Most of the students will make puking noises. I'd also quite like to have the place lined with ceramics. Keep the telepaths –specifically **Quire**- out."

"You don't trust him, do you?"

"He's an arrogant fool who'll end up destroying us all. You know that as well as I do, Logan."

"I thought we **weren't **talking about work tonight?"

She smiled.

"Well, you failed miserably."

"That was a **test**?!"

She grinned up at him.

"Of course. Although I do want an office and a chance to counsel the kids who are messed up even in **our** line of work."

"Wait, isn't one of the prerequisites of us being superheros is that we are, by definition, messed up. Let's think, Stark decided to be Iron Man after being kidnapped and tortured. Spidey took to the streets because his uncle was killed. I was turned into a killer. Etana… I'm not even certain **what** made Etana do what she did, but it must have been pretty bad."

Tora stared at the ceiling.

"It was."

"What?"

"What happened. It was terrible. She never forgave herself."

"Tora?"

He shifted so he was looking right at her, her gaze fixed on the edge of the light fitting, her pupils wide in the dark.

"Tora?"

"She saw herself. She saw herself as others saw her. And it terrified her."

"Tora?"

She glanced over at him then back up.

"I **need** the counselling sessions, Logan. I need to be able to help these children in a way that isn't just smashing heads together or disarming bombs. I need to help them see that they are what they **choose** to be."

"Like?"

"Logan, I need them to see that **no one** has the right to try and mould them. Not even us. Because if we take these children –no matter how much we care- and try and teach them to be good by **suppressing** who they are, then we will just destroy them. We have to show them what good is by example. By **addressing** their fears and showing them that we were like them once."

"This is more than that, isn't it?"

She sighed. Tilted her head backwards. Sighed again.

"I feel that denying to them what they are is the same as trying to force them to be something they're not. I know that feeling all too well. The feeling that everyone sees you as a monster… an animal…"

So it was about **that**. She never let it show… Acted as though it was all over. Causing everyone to forget that it hadn't even been ten years since they found her; weak, scared and alone. She pretended it was nothing. Pretended she was over it. That it didn't matter. That the X-Men, the kids, Dragon, all made up for her torture, imprisonment and the brutal stripping of her humanity. But he had always…not quite known…**suspected** at least, that she was still haunted by the years of darkness. He knew, deep down, that she didn't define herself as Tora or Dragon or even as Marie. In her eyes, she was –and always **would** be- Xii. The first name she had taken, in a life of taken, stolen, borrowed names. She pushed aside Marie as the name of an innocent child and she was in no way **innocent**. Innocence implied a certain level of naivety. Tora had seen far too much to be anything as foolish as **naïve**. Dragon… Dragon was a disguise, the smooth veneer of calm wisdom that she projected in the field, much as Tigress had been the exuberantly joyful expression of her freedom. And Tora… Tora was a disguise, so well fabricated that even **she** had forgotten and been taken in. And there was only one thing Logan **could** say.

"Yeah. We'll get you an office."

* * *

><p>Phoenix inhaled.<p>

"Such… Such confusion and contradiction and beauty. There's no real question of why she ended up the way she did."


	191. Open Wounds

**Memories**

Open Wounds

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"Take a seat, Broo."

The small alien shuffled in and sat down, his big eyes staring into hers.

"Am I in trouble?"

"Not at all, Broo. No. I'm just here to talk."

Broo shifted in his seat. Then he looked up.

"They're scared of me."

Tora stopped leaning on her desk, walked round and sat down. Clasped her hands and leant forward.

"Shall I tell you a secret, Broo?"

"Er…"

"They're scared of me as well."

He blinked.

"Why?"

"Because, Broo… Broo, you don't understand. You are compassionate by nature. That's the reason your kind cut you off from the hive mind. But me… At times, I feel they cut the compassion out of me when I was twelve years old and stained in blood. You would never just let go of your emotions and let insanity rule. And I have. It's… It was the worst feeling in the world. And at the same time, it was the **best**. To be free of all inhibitions. To honestly not **care** that you are torturing your friend. And you don't understand that, Broo. You're ten times the person I am."

"I… I don't understand."

"Yes. You don't and that's **wonderful**. Because you **care**. And right now, caring is the most important thing you can do."

Broo blinked again. Tora smiled.

"Do you honestly think you're the first Brood capable of feeling compassion? There's another, right here on Earth."

His eyes widened in amazement and maybe joy.

"Another… Like me?"

"Well… Not exactly. No-Name is a Warbound of the Hulk. She was one of your Warrior Prime. And she is an incredibly compassionate being. Not by genetics, like you. But by the bonds she made in the arenas of Sakaar. I've pencilled in some meetings with you. She was **most** interested in meeting you."

"Mrs Logan…?"

"Yes, Broo."

"They… They still think I'm going to kill them. They still think I'm going to be Brood."

Tora sighed.

"I'd hoped I wouldn't have to do this."

She opened a drawer and pulled out a gleaming knife. Broo flinched then stared up in confusion when she placed it on the desk, hilt facing him.

"I…I don't understand…"

"Stab me."

He blinked again, staring up in confusion now.

"I don't…"

"Broo, take that knife and stab me."

"I don't want to…"

"Broo, do it!"

He reached out, touched the knife then pushed it away. Tora picked it up and rammed it into his hand, guiding the point to her stomach and glared at him.

"Stab. Me."

"I don't want to."

"DO IT OR I SHALL TAKE THE KNIFE TO YOU MYSELF!"

"But…"

"Broo, do it. Or else."

A single tear slid down his face as the blade slid in and then he was crying and Tora was already on the other side of the desk, rocking him back and forth, her injury already healed.

"Broo, you **cared**. You didn't want to hurt me, even when I threatened you. That shows a lot of compassion. That shows more than I'm capable of, certainly. You care and because you care, you are strong."

He sniffled a little more.

"That's not what the Brood say…"

"The Brood are stupid. Look, I've had you taken off the Space Survival course for meetings with No-Name. I think they'd do you more good than anything the school can provide right now."

He sniffled into her shirt a few more times and the rest of the session passed with him being rocked back and forth. And Tora felt the terrible itching in her stomach that had nothing to do with the knife wound healing and everything to do with guilt.

* * *

><p>"Tough love. I suppose it did show him that he cared…"<p>

"But was it too harsh?"

Death blinked at them.

"This is some **human** thing I'm not aware of, isn't it?"

* * *

><p>"Come in, Evan."<p>

The boy shuffled in, quite possibly looking more terrified than Broo.

"Am I in trouble?"

"No. Why do you all seem to think that?"

"Er… Because we suddenly get dragged out of class and made to wait in the corridor in front of a new office with your name on it and I couldn't hear **anything**."

"It's soundproofed and has anti-telepathic ceramic shielding. I have some rather…unique mental shields. Whatever you say here does not leave here."

"So what am I supposed to say?"

"Evan, we've noticed you aren't…fitting in."

"I'd noticed."

"Can you tell me why?"

"Because they all think I'm Apocalypse. Whoever Apocalypse **is**."

Tora stared at him.

"Do you **want** to know who Apocalypse is?"

He shrugged.

"Kind of. But at the same time…"

"You're scared of what you might find out?"

"Yeah…"

Tora reached into her desk and pulled out a file. Placed it on the desk and slid it over to Evan.

"This is almost everything we know about Apocalypse, minus a few bits of sensitive data that we are withholding for the privacy of those involved. I don't expect you to read it. I'm just giving it to you so you know we **aren't** withholding information from you."

"What's being withheld?"

Tora sighed and leant forward.

"Events pertaining the 'Twelve', the identities of the Horsemen of Apocalypse and all data gained from Cable, as the future is –and always has been- in motion. The intel provided by Tigress and…her associate has also been removed. The 'what-if's and the identities of those manipulated by him in essence. Nothing **important**. All of the major stuff on En Sabah Nur is there."

He stared down at the file, the name stamped on it, the X embossed in one corner and the words written in block capitals.

TOP SECRET. FOR SENIOR X-MEN ONLY.

He knew who the senior X-Men were. They all did, in that oddly arranged school. The first two teams, Shadowcat, Dragon, Rogue and Gambit. The ones people **saw** when they thought of the X-Men.

"Thank you."

And then he walked out, clutching the folder to his chest, wondering if he should –**could**- read it.

And Tora span her chair around, so she stared out the window and then glanced down at the photo on her desk. Etana, smiling that infuriatingly knowledgeable smile. Evan had glanced at it once too often to be mildly curious. He was **intrigued** by Etana. And given Apocalypse's history with Etana, that was worrying. She picked up the Rubik's Cube and gave it a few idle turns. He hadn't glanced at any of the other miscellaneous clutter on the desk, only given a perfunctory glance at the picture of Curt, Jamie, Eva and Laura that took pride of place. But he kept looking at Etana, hidden away behind the team photo of the first two teams, Kitty, Anna-Marie and herself. Looking down to realise the Rubik was solved –all colours solid blocks- she put it down and picked up the photo of Etana. It was one of the best she had of Etana alone. A result of ambushing the woman with a camera hidden away. There was something endearing about Etana's hatred of photographs being taken of her. A relic of an older age, a warier woman.

She span around again then sighed when her pager started beeping. Pressed the button.

"I'll head right over, Luke. Logan can't come, school board meeting."

* * *

><p>Phoenix glanced over as her host tensed up, dread rolling off her in waves as the walls of the room closed in, the claustrophobic sense stating more clearly than anything that this was something she'd rather not see but was going to force herself through, just to show that she was <strong>over<strong> it.

"Your habit for flagellation hasn't stopped, I've noticed."

The woman started, almost as if she'd forgotten that they were there. Then she sighed.

"I need to do this. I **have** to. Because… Because I've been running for far too long –to the end of the Universe- and now I need to stop and face up to what… I need to face myself."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N.<strong> Since I now appear to have a life outside writing (help, it's horrific!), I'm going to have to stop writing one of my stories and you know, start living. If you don't want it to be _Memories_, go vote. Thanks! (For _MTJAK_ followers, don't worry, I've written forty or so chapters in advance)_


	192. Warped Metal

**Memories**

Warped Metal

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Carol raised an eyebrow as Tora leant backwards, back parallel to the floor from the knees.

"Okay, is it true that the X-Men have limbo parties? Because you look like you're used to this sort of thing."

Tora straightened up and pirouetted on one toe.

"No. I've just always been rather good at this. Also, we have a group allergy to the name 'Limbo'. Bad connotations, all that."

Carol leant up against the wall as Tora slid to the floor and rose up again, less than a metre from where she went down.

"You're good at this. How? Because all we see is empty air."

Tora's arms were outstretched as she appeared to step through an invisible hole.

"I see slightly into the infrared part of the electromagnetic spectrum. To you, the lights don't show up. To me… I always fail miserable to describe it. It's like trying to explain colour to a blind man, no offense meant, Matt."

"None taken."

She pirouetted again.

"It took me years to realise I could do it. See infrared, I mean. Well, I tell a lie. It took me years to realise it wasn't **normal**. Red that isn't red. A thousand shades. And I don't even see that far into it. But I can see the lasers criss-crossing back and forth and I used to do this with hot ones that could sear your flesh badly. There!"

She triumphantly reached the key pad, leant down and sniffed.

"3 has a slight deposit of oil on it, therefore it's the first number in the sequence. 9 smells of sweat and that's the strongest after 3, so either it's second or used twice. Oh, stuff it."

The slightest hint of a claw slid out, she unscrewed the panel and cut the wires.

"Security system disabled thanks to my incredibly handy natural multi-tool."

The Thing snorted.

"Handy. Good one."

Tora frowned.

"That wasn't meant as a pun. Anyway, my claws are a part of my metacarpals. **Hand** suggests that they're interlinked, when they aren't. My claws are actually capable of more individual movement than my fingers."

Ms Marvel sighed.

"I wonder about you at times. One minute, you're all dry textbook, the next you're a bundle of laughs."

Tora shrugged.

"Strictly speaking, in cut and dried medical terminology, I suffer dissociative identity disorder and schizophrenia. Which is stupid, as what I **actually** have is a nosy cosmic entity and an open line to alternate realities. I've never been good with shrinks."

Then she neatly stepped back and the door opened. Luke blinked.

"Okay, how did you do that?"

She smirked.

"I was picking the lock with my hands behind my back. You think **that's** impressive? Storm can do it with her **teeth** while she has the coordination of a toddler. Anyway, you'd think with this complicated set up they'd use a halfway decent tumbler lock. But no, it's one of the easiest to pick. I think they put too much faith in their tech."

"Where are your lockpicks?"

Tora's smirk widened.

"I don't have any. My handy natural multi-tool comes with both lockpicking and lock cutting capabilities. After you, leader with unbreakable skin."

Luke laughed as he walked down the corridor. Ben waved the others through then walked backwards down the corridor.

"All this undercover stuff is giving me the heebie-jeebies."

Tora snorted in amusement.

"Well, the only undercover I'd put you down for would be in Utah, but who cares? I mean, look at Danny and Carol. Reflective bright colours, anyone? Basically a target. There's a **reason** I got rid of that terrible reflective silver, apart from the fact it looked tacky. Of course, reflective clothing does have its place, but that's on a ledge in a pit that goes to the centre of the earth in a cave where the only light is from the torches and you have an evil god trying to kill you because you weren't able to save him the **last** time he died due to your claustrophobia. Ro, not me. Long story, before my time. First mission Kitty Pryde went on. And very nearly her last."

Iron Fist glanced back.

"Are you saying my costume looks **tacky**?"

"Danny, you're the one who once had his shirt open to his navel to show off his big tattoo. **That's** tacky."

"I **liked** that costume!"

"You're a man, you would."

Then Luke swore softly.

"Tora, need you up here **now**."

She pushed past everyone and curse softly before falling to her knees to check the pulse of the first woman.

"They're alive but barely. I'll give them a reconstructive burst but they need **proper** medical treatment. Last time I healed something like this totally, the woman didn't remember **anything** and basically blew the whole case out the water. The defendant argued that because –in essence- the abuse never happened, how could he be charged for it? I **hate** smarmy, suck-up, do-bad lawyers, again no offence meant, Daredevil, because I know you're the exact opposite."

She glimmered silver and water slid up the arm of the woman whose hand she was holding and further into the room. Then she got up and turned to them, her eyes icy and cold.

"You get them out. All of them. I'll go find the ones responsible for this."

"And do **what**?"

Tora gave them **that** look.

"Don't ask. Trust me, I'd get out as fast as possible. I'll try and leave some for you."

She stalked off and Luke tried to go after her. Jessica held him back.

"What?"

"Did you see her face? Luke, this is **personal** for her."

"What?"

"Trafficking. Come on, Luke, see the parallels. Girls manipulated and abused. And then there was the whole X-23 thing. Tora won't go as far as killing them but… Let's just say, I reckon she knows **lots** of ways of keeping you alive when you'd rather die. And looking at these kids, I can only say I don't blame her."

They picked up the girls and ran. Matt glanced over to Danny.

"If she blows this place sky high, I don't blame her. You wouldn't **believe** what I can hear from further in."

His head jerked and an odd smile slid over his face.

"You get them, girl."

They gasped in the fresh air and the Thing turned to go back in. And flames rippled out in an explosion, sending the rock-man flying backwards into Luke. And Carol screamed out a name then remembered her radio and shouted into it, desperate and then her face went white as all that came out was a crackle of static and she dived into the rubble, throwing huge chunks of concrete aside.

"Get out of there, **now**! Come on, Dragon!"

Iron Fist looked over to Luke.

"She can survive a building falling on her, can't she? I mean, she's basically as tough as Wolverine with the added advantage of being able to make **Thor** nervous when she's suffering from caffeine deprivation."

Luke nodded.

"She jumps off buildings and survived in Osborn's custody for thirty-eight hours whilst being tortured non-stop by Daken. I think a small building won't have that much effect on her."

And then they heard Carol's scream and she burst out of the rubble and dropped a piece of warped and scuffed metal that bore only the slightest resemblance to the silver headdress that was a singly distinctive part of Tora's apparel, no matter what her uniform was.

* * *

><p>The host had an oddly secretive smile on her face, like this was something she considered moderately amusing.<p>

* * *

><p>Logan smiled at the couple sitting on the other side of his desk.<p>

"Thanks for coming, both of you. I think right now, what with everything that's happened, we need as many familiar faces around as possible. I know neither of you like being in combat situations so you're both down as teaching only. And… Eloise, we **need** telepaths. I know you're not Omega-level but you're still better than most and you've been trained by Chuck, Jeannie and Emma. What you lack in brute strength you make up for in plain cunning."

Eloise smiled softly.

"I know. To begin with, I thought I was a naturally weak telepath as I couldn't go much deeper than surface thoughts in one mind but then I realised that my talents are more… wide-range. I can read more minds and not be overloaded than most other Alpha-levels and my shields are almost as strong as Tora's. I can't compare myself with other Alpha's because I'm **not** like most telepaths."

And then Kitty threw the door open, her face pale and horrified.

"Logan, Tora's MIA in New York! Cage wants you down there as soon as possible!"

Eloise was already up, Luke following her, both looking absolutely terrified. Then Eloise shook her head and her mind brushed his.

_No. You haven't got any powers._

_I might not be able to weave illusions anymore but I can **fight**. Physically, I'm in better shape than you and I could always look after myself better than you. And I've kind of been doing undercover work for MI-13._

Eloise frowned, slapped him round the head then reached for her coat.

"We're both coming."

Logan nodded, then looked over to Kitty.

"Take Eva to the FF. Tell them I'll pick her up when I've sorted this out."

Kitty nodded and then walked out through the closed door. Logan turned to Eloise and Luke.

"We haven't got any spare uniforms…"

Luke blushed.

"Well, I have my MI-13 uniform, which **should** give me some leeway with the authorities and 'Loise can just make herself fuzzy. It's freaky, but it works."

Logan nodded and stormed out.

* * *

><p>Phoenix raised an eyebrow at the masked woman, who remained resolutely silent.<p>

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Busy, busy, busy. Although if you want to show your sense of humour, go around with a boat on your head all day (I won Jelly Babies for Maddest Hat in Mad Hat Day!). No one got the nautical Physics joke. The boat was called the _Higgs Bo'sun.


	193. Cruelty of Kindness

**Memories**

Cruelty of Kindness

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Jamie picked at his black and white FF uniform with distaste, his nose wrinkling at the 7 on his chest. He looked up again at the older Valeria, dressed in black with the white circle on her chest. She was staring at him. She did that, when she thought he wasn't looking. And then she looked away, almost shame-faced. So he wandered over and jumped up onto the table to look at her.

"Valeria?"

She smiled weakly.

"I suppose you want to know what happened."

"Yes. I'd find that most enlightening."

She smiled sadly.

"You have no **idea** what you're in for, kid. The Jamie from where I come from died almost five years ago."

She pulled out a small chain and hung the ring in front of his eyes.

"He threw the box to me just before he ran into the ship. He never came back. Last thing he ever said to me was that he wanted an answer when he got back. I never got to say yes."

"There's something more, isn't there. It's not just because he's dead. There's something more."

Valeria stared out of the window.

"Do you know what happens to your family?"

Jamie turned to look out over the city as well.

"I can guess. Something's going to happen to Maman. I can **feel** it. The probability of her either losing control or being killed to prevent her losing control is exceptionally high. There are thirty-six probable ways Dad will react to that. Most will result in me and Eva being abandoned. And then there's Curt, who'll blame everyone he can and refuse to accept that things **change**."

Valeria nodded.

"Yes. He never did change well. It's what resulted in his death. He refused to believe his mother would ever hurt him and went after her when she went insane. He failed to realise there was nothing **left** of his mother. He was turned to dust. In the end, it was you who had to face her. You went up on that ship, came down an hour later covered in blood and sweat, simply said 'It's over' and sent the ship right to the heart of the Sun. You- He never talked about what happened."

Jamie sighed.

"I worry so much about my family. They're all so **stupid** at times. Maman's smart but she forgets that she's meant to be human at times and it shows. Dad and Eva think things can be solved by hitting stuff. And Curt's an idiot most of the time, although I reckon he's a lot smarter than he lets on."

Then the door opened and Shadowcat walked in, Eva trailing behind her, a holdall over one shoulder.

"Jamie, Eva's staying here for a while. Maman's had a bit of an accident."

Jamie sighed.

"She always does."

Eva looked up, her big amber eyes worried.

"Daddy's scared. I can **smell** it."

* * *

><p>Phoenix sighed.<p>

"And Eva never questioned **why**. Jamie or Curt would."

"That, Jean, is because Eva was **four**."

* * *

><p>Eloise shook her head.<p>

"Nothing. Not even a base trace. She's gone."

"Logan, who's this?"

Eloise turned to Luke Cage.

"Eloise Circen. And what the **hell** were you thinking, letting my sister be so **stupid**!?"

"Wait. You're her **sister**?!"

"Yes. And seriously, you should **never** let Tora out of your sight! She'll do something stupid and heroic! It's like her brain stops working and she goes around doing **stupid** stuff because, to put it frankly, she has a terrible hero complex and thinks she has to save everyone which is stupid because **people** are stupid and just need saving again!"

She stormed off and the man in the black suit sighed.

"Idiots. Now she'll be in a mood all day."

"And you are?"

"Luke Hargreaves, MI13. Work mainly with Excalibur –the person, not the team- and the Black Knight. Wisdom and I don't get on. Long story."

"MI13?"

"Superhuman and Supernatural Security. Kind of like SHIELD but we're also in charge of liaisons with the Otherworld."

"Otherworld?"

"Fairies, basically. And not your cutesy little winged creatures. I'm talking Mab and the Elf Queen and the Little People. Terrifying and totally inhuman. Strictly speaking, they're faeries or the Little People. Calling them 'fairies' annoys them. And you don't want to annoy them."

He walked off after Eloise and Logan stormed over.

"Cage, what the hell happened?!"

Luke's head dropped.

"She went in while we got the girls out. We'd just got clear when the building blew. Carol went in. This was all she found."

Luke held out the battered metal. Logan reached out hesitantly and took it. The tactile evidence seemed to snap something because he brought it up to his forehead and gasped out a choking sob. Then he turned, still clutching the scuffed metal and walked away.

"Logan! Where're you going!?"

"To get some **real** help."

* * *

><p>"Oooh, snubbing the Avengers. This is exceptionally interesting, I hope you know."<p>

* * *

><p>Alex nodded.<p>

"We'll put out the feelers. X-Factor still has a lot of clout in District X. But Logan, if Tora doesn't want to be found, she won't be. Doesn't matter if Marvel Girl scours the world with Cerebra, if Tora is hiding, then hidden she'll stay."

He coughed then looked back up at Logan.

"You do know she could be…you know…dead?"

"No."

"What?"

"I'd know if she were. I can **feel** it."

"Pardon?"

Logan raised his hand, showing his gleaming silver wedding ring, the blue stone glittering in the light.

"She's alive. I know she is."

"Logan, we haven't any clues…"

Wolverine whipped round to see Jamie Madrox, who now looked like he regretted opening his mouth.

"We **have** to find her! You were **there**, Jamie! You were there when Phoenix fell! For all we know, it could be **just** like that! Mess around with Tora's head and who knows what you might end up releasing!"

Lorna went white.

"If she…"

"Don't."

She glanced over and spotted Dr Strange standing in the corner and one hand flew to her mouth. Do **not** mention that rather embarrassing little incident because they'd really done very well on hiding it all and pretending she'd never come back alive from her capture and suddenly blurting out that Tora could quite possibly snap and decide to destroy anything in a moment probably wasn't the best idea.

"So we'll keep a look out. Is Ray looking…?"

"She's tried. Nothing. You know as well as I do, that if Tora's gone to ground for some reason… If she doesn't want to be found, she **won't**."

"Logan…?"

"Yeah?"

"You… You don't think… You don't think she's… Do you think she's gone to die?"

Logan didn't speak. Lorna coughed and continued.

"When I was a kid, I had a pet cat. She was pretty old and then one day she just started walking around the house, peering into all the small nooks and crannies. Mom said that was her trying to find a place to die. What if… What if that's what Tora's trying to do?"

"No… Can't be… She promised… She promised she wouldn't…"

"But, Logan… Maybe she's trying to be **kind**."

* * *

><p>"Kindness… Such a loaded word."<p> 


	194. Order of Self

**Memories**

Order of Self

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She woke slowly, reaching for her head. There was something… Something she had to remember… Something important… So very important…

"My dear, are you awake now? We thought we'd lost you."

She sat up, clutching her forehead.

"Where am I? And I know that sounds clichéd but quite frankly, everything's sort of fuzzy right now."

"You are **safe**, my love. For the first time in eight years."

"I… I can't feel my legs…"

"We had to sedate you. Xavier's poison ran deep. You fought us as we tried to save you."

Xavier… The name **meant** something, something… a man, injured more in spirit than in body, hiding his mistakes as well as he could but knowing that they were all catching up on him.

"Charles…?"

"I'm going to remove your blindfold now, my dear."

Light, sudden, bright, blinding. She winced and felt soft hands shading her eyes.

"There, my dear. Safe at last. Free from his lies and trickery."

"I… I don't remember…"

"No. You wouldn't. Sleep. Regain your strength. And then I will reveal all."

She smiled woozily. The voice promised peace and comfort and safe harbour. And oh, how she longed for peace. Maybe… Maybe once she had slept, her memories would return… Sleep… Sleep…

Her head sank back, her breathing slowed and the man kept his gaze fixated upon her.

* * *

><p>Phoenix winced.<p>

"I **hate** it when stuff like that happens!"

"Tell me about it."

* * *

><p>When she woke, the memories were still elusive… dancing on the edge of her conscious, teasing her with their very inaccessibility. She sat and looked around the room, slightly cluttered, beautiful in its warmth. A highly <strong>personal<strong> room, the room of someone who knew her life, her dreams. And it felt so familiar, so **comforting**.

"Are you awake?"

She turned to the door. A man stood there, long black hair spilling over his shoulders and eyes the colour of a stormy sky. His long black coat looked pristine and his equally black suit gave him the impression of a crow.

"Where am I? For that matter, **who** am I?"

"We'll start with the first, shall we? My dear, you are finally **home**."

"Home?"

He smiled softly.

"The Halls of Knowledge, home to the Order of the Dragon."

She blinked a few times.

"I… I don't… It doesn't remind me of… **anything**."

"So we will have to answer the second question. You are our Saviour."

"What?"

"You really don't remember anything, do you?"

"I… I don't…"

"You are one of us, the Order. You were found… Searched… We **knew** that you were Her."

"Who?"

"The Dragon Incarnate. Like all the prophecies said. We grew up together. Best of friends, that was us. Used to get in trouble all the time. You were mainly the one who had the ideas. I just followed through. But I always was the one who got the blame."

He laughed lightly.

"And when you were sixteen, they tested you with the Rite. I didn't want you to do it. Others have tried to go through the Rite before and they were all driven insane. But you… You just smiled at me serenely and told me that you would be fine. And you were. You were **more** than fine. You walked out of that room with your whole life affirmed. You **were** the Dragon, you **were** the Lady of the Waters. You breathed new life into our Order and then… Then, just as you were about to reveal yourself and the **true** meaning of life –the duty to serve the Dragon and all that she represents… You vanished. We suspected that you were kidnapped, to prevent you bringing enlightenment to all. I… I grieved for you…"

He dropped his eyes.

"Imagine our –**my-** surprise when you showed up with the X-Men. Fighting alongside them, yet without any of the amazing gifts you displayed in the four years you lead us. We… We tried to contact you. We'd speak to you one day and the next you would not remember us. Then we realised -Xavier, curse his soul to everlasting torment, had messed with your mind –suppressed your power, turned you into his puppet."

She blinked. Memories were spilling back now, memories of a life of warmth and joy, teasing companions, a child in her arms.

"My life… My friends…family…"

"All a lie. Most likely, they too were drawn into Xavier's net. But one almost certainly was not."

"Who?"

"This isn't the best time…"

"WHO!?"

Water slid from her hands, dancing in rivulets around her wrists. Her mind slowed. She could do that? She could make water do what she wanted it to? With such delicate, delicious ease?

"Now is not the time. We need you to remember us… Remember our training, your mission, your **purpose**."

"And… And what **is** my purpose?"

He smiled sweetly, reached out and gently touched her cheek.

"To bring knowledge, peace, equality and justice to this world."

Her throat clenched.

"How?"

"By ruling it."

* * *

><p>Phoenix sighed.<p>

"It's always the same. Secret sects seize control of immensely powerful beings for their own good and then complain when the being turns on them, fed up of being used."

* * *

><p>She was staring at the diary, recognising her own handwriting but not the book. Surely it wouldn't be spying, to read your own diary? Wasn't that what it was <strong>for<strong>?

She opened it to the first page.

_June 12th_

_Today is the first full day I have spent whilst I am complete. I finally know what was wrong with my life. Before yesterday, I was empty, a vessel waiting for its soul. And now I am complete. The Dragon sings inside me. I am the Dragon and the Dragon is me. So wonderfully perfect, complex and also simple._

_The Council made it clear my Voice must be chosen. I understand the need for a Voice. I feel so detached from the rest of humanity –those who haven't seen the Universe **live**, cannot feel the cosmic heartbeat. The Voice provides a humanising aspect, a way of showing I am not too far gone. But is 'Voice' a good enough word? The Voice is more than my speaker. They are my everything. My friend, advisor, beloved councillor, partner, lover. There is only one who I want for that part but I don't know how he feels. Iain has been my friend since childhood. I think I need to ask him informally, before I request him in Council. I know many of the Council will be disappointed –they would hope for someone older, who could steer me- so there is all the more reason for me to choose one of my age group. The Council's sway shall not be as strong._

_June 13th_

_Iain accepted. I announced the decision in Council and I saw a few knowing glances. Then I went to the Garden and requested Iain joined me for the Quickening._

She frowned. So many details she didn't understand. She'd have to go fish out the tenets of the Order. Her mind was still fogged, memories still elusive. She would have to ask if they had a telepath to help clear the mists.

Closing the book, she rose. Turned around the room once more. And smiled as she saw a book covered in blue leather with silver workings. **There**!

* * *

><p>Jean sighed.<p>

"I assume you have a copy somewhere? Stupid, you have copies of **everything**, including that ancient Chinese encyclopaedia which only had three copies and you're so proud of."

"It's one of the original three, not just a copy. **That's** impressive."


	195. Promises

**Memories**

Promises

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

_She was standing by the cliff when suddenly she caught a scent on the breeze. She turned and frowned._

"_Etana."_

"_Tora."_

"_Why are you here? I told you, we don't do that stuff anymore. Neither of us. We have a family now."_

"_That's not the Tora I know."_

"_The Tora you knew is long gone."_

"_Won't you at least invite me in for a coffee? For old time's sake?"_

"_Come in."_

_Tora walked along the cliff to the small house. Opening the door, she shouted out a series of names._

"_Kurt! Jamie! Stephan! Amanda!"_

_A handsome teenage boy, his black hair messy and coated with streaks of oil came in first, his face grubby._

"_Maman, you won't believe it! I've managed to reverse-engineer the Shi'ar aging tech! I can de-age something!"_

"_Jamie, that's brilliant! But… clean?"_

"_Oh… sorry… I'll go… Hi Tana."_

_He hurried out and Etana raised an eyebrow._

"_He still remembers me?"_

"_He's a multiversal like me. One moment. KURT! STEPHAN! AMANDA!"_

_There was a bamf and Kurt appeared on the table._

"_Hello, _meine Liebe_. Oh. Etana."_

_The happiness in his voice disappeared immediately._

"_I'm sorry to intrude Kurt. I know you and Tora just want to be left alone-"_

"_So leave us alone."_

"_You would stop me meeting your children?"_

_A girl with red hair and amber eyes hurried in, saw Etana then faltered, her appearance changing until a little boy with purple skin and hair with a rapidly swaying tail was staring up at her._

"_Is that the Shadow?"_

"_Yes, Stephan."_

"_Is she here to take you away?"_

"_No, Stephan. She isn't. AMANDA! Where is that girl?!"_

_From the shadows the girl that Stephan had been impersonating suddenly detached herself._

"_Ha! You didn't see me Maman! Oh!"_

"_Amanda, Stephen, this is Etana."_

_Etana bowed her head._

"_So… A shapeshifter and a…?"_

"_Amanda is an umbrakinetic. She controls shadows, can turn into shadows. We think Stephan might be a teleporter."_

"_Interesting…"_

"_Don't. You. Dare!"_

"_What?"_

"_You're wondering how you can use her. I am not allowing my children out to be twisted like we were."_

_Etana nodded._

"_I… I think we should speak alone. You and me."_

_Kurt instantly was beside Tora._

"_You speak to me as well. Anything you can say to Tora, you can say to me. Amanda, Stephan, go and play with your brother."_

"_But…"_

"_Go."_

"_Yes, Dad…"_

_Etana stared at them both for a long time._

"_You haven't told Jamie the truth, have you?"_

"_Of course not. The whole point of us coming here was to get away from it all. We don't want to live that life again."_

"_We found him."_

_Tora stiffened and Kurt's hand on her shoulder tightened._

"_Where?"_

"_They found him in Egypt. One of En Sabah Nur's last strongholds. He has information, but he claims he will only give it up to you, Tora."_

_She shook her head._

"_I won't go anywhere near that man. Not for anything you offered me."_

"_Tora, we need you."_

"_Just like you needed her during the revolution! She doesn't deserve this anymore!"_

"_I agree but Tora has already become the most famous face of the Resistance. Your lie of her death made her a martyr. She is the woman who died after giving up everything to us. She will always be marked as the Woman Who Saved Us All."_

"_Then me suddenly turning up will destroy everything you've worked for."_

"_It will be in secret. Logan's capture so far is top secret."_

"_Etana…"_

"_Please, Tora… One more service and then I will leave you and Kurt forever."_

_Tora turned her head away._

"_Can I hold you to that promise?"_

xXx

_She smiled slightly. The fact the man had bypassed all her security and reached her private rooms undetected didn't seem to bother her._

"_Loki. God of Mischief. And you want to meet with me. Why?"_

"_I have an…interest in human affairs."_

"_You mean you have an interest in the affairs of your brother. You are here to plead for him, aren't you?"_

"_If there ever was a mortal capable of deicide, it would be you, Miss Circen."_

"_Do not use that name to refer to me. That girl** died** many years ago, Loki **Laufeyson**."_

"_Do not use that name in my presence!"_

"_We all have the parts of ourselves we are ashamed of, Trickster. I have come to **hate** that foolish child who believed in hope and honour. Those things were never given to me. What deal do you have, Liesmith? What promises do you bring me in exchange for your brother's life?"_

"_A pact. I shall aid you in your quest for vengeance and you shall not harm my brother."_

_She leant back._

"_Swear on what you hold most dear. I would be a fool to trust the God of Lies."_

"_I swear on As-"_

"_No. Asgard is not what you hold most dear. Neither is your foster-father's approval. No, Odinson. Swear on your brother's **life**. Swear on the life of Thor."_

_He opened his mouth and she raised a hand._

"_Swear in **magic**. Your words alone are not enough."_

"_I need your blood if you want a magical contract."_

_She pulled a knife out from under the table and sliced across her hand, the only expression on her face one of boredom. He took the knife and ran it over his hand as well. Then he clasped her hand._

"_I swear on my brother Thor's life that I will not betray you. And you swear on…"_

"_I swear on my quest for vengeance that I shall not betray you, Odinson."_

_Loki's eyebrow raised slightly._

"_You seem very unafraid of me. What name shall I give you? If I may not call you Circen and you are unlikely to want to go by the name of your childhood, what shall I call you by?"_

"_Tora."_

"_The Tiger. Most…appropriate. Why are you not afraid of me, Tora?"_

"_Because as soon as you entered this room, my tech has been monitoring you. If you had appeared to use any magic without my consent, the dampeners would have completely stripped you of your powers. You would have –for all intents and purposes- been mortal."_

_He looked at her for a long while then laughed._

"_I underestimated you. You are a skilled liar, manipulator and also not lying right now. You are most certainly one of the few mortals this world has produced capable of deicide."_

_She smiled slightly._

"_Would you care to join me? There's some rather expensive proper French wine my…shall we call him my **predecessor** gained from some of his…business connections."_

"_You mean that Wilson Fisk was given them as a bribe or payoff?"_

"_More…smuggled in by a rival gang and the rival gang ended up in the river."_

_He laughed._

"_I would be **honoured**."_

"_And please don't do your brother's habit of throwing glasses on the floor. They're antiques."_

_He smirked at her._

"_Not **all** Asgardians are boorish."_

_She smiled warmly at him._

"_For a god of lies, you are very charming."_

_He raised her hand to his lips._

"_Fact is never as charming as fiction."_

xXx

_Logan stood in silence, staring out over the sea. Then he opened his hand to stare down at the chain in his palm. She'd run ahead, gone to face Thanos alone. The X-Men had followed but were unable to pass a certain point. A telekinetic forcefield enclosed the two figures as they fought. Then Tora had looked over at him and Curt, a look of sorrow and acceptance; grabbed Thanos' shoulders and pitched them both into the yawning chasm of fire that lead to the heart of a star. Thanos had risen back out and in his hands, a silver chain, the cross melted out of shape. Pulled from Tora's neck as she fell, into the fire. Thanos had been defeated. And Tora was dead. Not even a grave to mourn at. Logan raised his arm and flung the chain into the sea, arcing off the cliff._

_And then he fell to his knees, pressing his hands to his eyes. Why? She'd just looked at him and she'd known. She'd known she wasn't going to survive. She'd known Thanos would. But she'd also known that her death would drive the X-Men to anger, to defeating Thanos. She'd known she couldn't beat him but the X-Men could if properly provoked. Her death was the only thing that would give them the anger to beat him. She had worked it all out in the seconds before they arrived. He looked up once more. Dead and gone. Burnt to ashes in the heart of a star. And then something bright and burning flew towards him, a shooting star. He never believed in wishes, hadn't since his parents were killed in front of him, but this time he closed his eyes._

I wish that she will come back to me. I wish I had my Tora back. I wish she wasn't dead.

_That wasn't a shooting star. It was different… Logan ducked as the burning object shot over his head then turned and ran towards the crater, his claws out. He reached the rim then froze. Lying in the centre, throwing out light like a miniature star, lay a woman. Skin a pearly, opalescent, silvery white that gleamed in the night. Long, silver hair like spun starlight. A shift of a burning white material, like ice-cold fire. He walked down the smouldering sides carefully. Knelt down and moved the woman so he could see her face. And his mouth dropped open. Her face was vaguely human but that only highlighted her inhuman features. A delicate face; impossibly high cheekbones; large, slanted, cat-like eyes that were closed; a small mouth; sharply pointed elfin ears. She looked like the elves his governess used to tell him about. And not the nice, happy, little elves. No, the ones who stole children and kidnapped young men, turned women to stone and trapped unwary mortals. She was beautiful, there was no denying that. But she was also terrible. Logan looked away, unable to scrutinise her features anymore. It felt like he was staring straight at the Sun._

_He carefully lifted her. Rationally, he knew that to survive a fall like that, she was probably stronger than Hulk. But she was so small, thin, graceful. He felt he had to treat her like a piece of fine bone china. She was cold but warm at the same time, like the empty vacuum of space and the burning heat of a star. He wasn't certain how long he walked or whether he looked at her. It was all a haze. But he remembered walking into the Institute, handing her over to Beast and then everything went clear. And then Hank coming over to him, looking dazed._

"_Logan, she's made of energy. Pure, solar energy. Everything but her bones."_

"_Her bones?"_

"_Logan, they're made of a substance that's harder than adamantium. Maybe even harder than proto-adamantium. Something like that… You'd need a supernova to be able to forge that."_

"_So she's what? An Eternal?"_

"_Jean says no. We… We think she's a sentient heavenly body."_

"_What?"_

"_Did Bobby ever tell you about Cloud? No? Cloud was a sentient nebula who came to Earth and took human form for a time. And Ego, the Living Planet. What if she's a sentient star? The possibilities are endless…"_

"_A sentient star? Comon, Hank…"_

"_I assure you I am not jesting. I do believe that this woman is a living star."_

"_Then why aren't we burning up right now?"_

"_Because she's not a star right now. And… Logan, you have to see this…"_

"_What?"_

_Hank lead him into the Medi-Lab and sighed._

"_I'm sorry, Logan. I'm sorry."_

_And he pulled back her shift to reveal the tattoo coiled on her back –a dragon; wings outstretched, head roaring to the sky. Logan staggered backwards as if physically struck. Hank gulped._

"_She's wearing Dragon's mark. I don't know what that means. Whether she was given this form by Dragon or if she is Dragon. But she's linked to Tora somehow."_

"_No."_

"_Logan, she might be able to help us…"_

"_NO! Get her out. Get her out right now."_

"_I…sorry… Help…"_

_They turned to look. She looked confused, uneasy._

"_Took…memories…language…apologise…needed…no memory…falling…falling…so cold… so very cold…"_

"_Tora! Do you know anyone named Tora?!"_

_She shook her head, her head tilted slightly to one side._

"_No…Alone…Alone, so warm and bright… then falling, falling through the cold darkness… and then…light…heat… I go but little world gets in my way… falling falling through the sky."_

* * *

><p>"Idiots didn't recognise her!"<p>

"To be fair, Death, she **didn't** look **or** smell the same."

"They're still idiots."


	196. Tissue of Lies

**Memories**

Tissue of Lies

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Tigress shook her head.

"I've checked with all the others. All they say is it either defaults to me or… the ones who are better at this –like the pro computer hackers as opposed to those who just surf the net- say there's fog. Visibility is so low they can't even get a reading. Sorry."

Logan turned to Rachel who shook her head.

"Vanished off the face of the Earth. It's like when she locks herself down. Can't feel her thoughts, her signature, her **essence**. Can't even find the pinprick in the astral plane, not since Emma showed her how to shield that. That's the most worrying thing though. The 'pinprick' is her alternate vision. If that's happened, it means she can't reach out to the others. If she can't reach out to the others, we don't know where she is. And if we didn't have Tigress, we wouldn't even have that."

Logan slumped into the table, burying his face in his hands. Rachel coughed.

"Yeah, Ray?"

"I… I know you probably don't want to be reminded of this… But when… When Phoenix was corrupted, it was because people messed with her mind, loosened her grip on reality. Logan… What if that's happening to Tora?"

The Avengers on the screen stared at Logan.

"Explain."

He sighed.

"It was years ago. We all thought it was Jeannie. Wasn't. It was the Phoenix, who had tricked itself into believing it **was** Jean. A thing like that… It's not meant to feel human emotions… And Mastermind… He made her believe she was Jean's ancestor, that she was living in the past. Emma was there as well. They played with her mind, tried to make her one of them. But they thought she was Jean Grey, Marvel Girl. Not the Phoenix, not the Star Child. It drove the already unstable Phoenix insane. And when the Phoenix becomes insane, it forgets that its purpose is to burn away 'what doesn't work'. It simply **burns**."

"And… And you think… You think that whoever has Tora is playing with her mind, just like what happened to Phoenix?"

He nodded.

"That's the thing. If she turns… We don't know **what** could happen. Dragon **heals**. That's what it does. But… But she might decide that to heal the world she has to have a blank sheet. Or maybe she'll freeze everything. No advancements, no births, no deaths. Just living in one moment for ever and ever and ever."

"She…could do that?"

"Frankly, Stark, I reckon Tora could do almost anything she felt she wanted to. But she doesn't, because she's **human** and she wants to stay that way."

"So finding her is even higher priority than we thought it was?"

Logan laughed bitterly.

"Who cares if Doom gets to rule the world? If we don't find her, there won't **be** any world for him to rule."

There was a hurried consultation from the Avengers side of the link, then Cap and Cage filled the screen.

"We're putting all but the skeleton Avengers onto the search. We **will** find Tora."

* * *

><p>"Did they? Or did she find them?"<p>

"Bit of both. Took them long enough."

* * *

><p>"What the hell are you doing here?"<p>

The Scarlet Witch sighed.

"I'm here to help my friend, okay?"

"No. That's **not** okay."

She whipped around.

"I know what you're all scared of and let me ask you this. Do you have **anyone** here whose powers have been manipulated by someone else until you do something terrible on a worldwide scale? Oh look, no. Only me. And also, I need to help her because she helped me."

"And?"

"Also, you're dealing with another nexus being. And I'm the only one who has a **clue** what that means, being one myself."

"A **what**?!"

"A nexus being. A being who exists in **all** realities in some way, shape or form. A being capable of altering probabilities and the future. A nexus being who **links** all realities, a **living** nexus, an alignment, just like the Braddock Tower or the Nexus –which are the two on Earth. So if you cut her off from the others, you're basically tearing right through the multiverse."

"You think you can find her?"

"No. But I can **help**."

There was silence as Logan stared at her. She gulped.

"Please…"

And he made up his mind…

* * *

><p>"Please tell me he didn't refuse…"<p>

"He wouldn't be **that** stupid, would he?"

* * *

><p>She sat on the bench, just taking in the wealth of colour. The garden was beautiful, made to look like a still clearing in a forest, a tricking stream down one end, wildflowers littering the floor. But at the same time… It felt <strong>wrong<strong>. Everything was too perfect, too neat to be natural.

"I see you've found our garden."

"Our? That doesn't sound like this is a public place. Should I…?"

"No. This is **your** garden. The only people allowed here are you and your Voice."

"You."

It was a statement, not a question.

"Yes."

"You're Iain."

His face lit up.

"You remember me?"

"Not… Not really…"

His head dropped.

"We… We think we can help you remember…"

She blinked.

"That's…good…"

"Yes. Yes, it is."

She turned back and stared at the waterfall.

"I… I didn't realise I could do this…"

Her hand stretched out and a thin trickle slid towards her, coiling up into the air and coalescing into a serpentine body with huge wings. And then they both spoke, in a deep, crashing voice.

"**I never felt…so strong before**."

And then her face fell and she reached up to touch the scars.

"I can't… How did I get them?"

She sensed him tense up.

"You were injured… There was an assassination attempt…"

She knew, with a deep and sudden realisation, that he was lying. She stared back and let the water crash to the ground. Standing up swiftly, she turned to him.

"Let's get this out of the way."

She marched off. Iain waited a few minutes and then she crept back sheepishly.

"Where exactly do I go?"

"That way."

He pointed in the direction opposite that which she had taken and she flushed.

"Lead the way."

* * *

><p>"<strong>Idiots<strong>."

"Yes, you've already said that, Jean. Multiple times."

"I can't understand how you're so **calm** about this!"

"I was always better at existing everywhere and everywhen at once than you were. You were always hopeless at anything where time wasn't linear. At my height, I existed in all moments of time, all parts of space. I was omnipresent. You were always…too human. I was too far removed. And one of the interesting things I saw was that to remove any **one** thing from her life –no matter how small, how trivial- would change **everything**."

"Show-off."


	197. Awakening

**Memories**

Awakening

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"Relax."

"I'm not happy about this. I don't like… I hate people in my mind."

Iain rested his hand on her forehead.

"You will be fine. I am here. Trust me."

She slowed her breathing and lay back.

"Show me."

The cloaked figures became humming and the lead one spoke in a soft voice.

"Inhale the vapours and relax. Let us in."

Her last thought was that even Eloise didn't have to go through this rigmarole.

_She giggled and reached out to friend-funny-chubby-Iain and pulled his hair. He stuck his tongue out and she flicked paint at him. Soon they were covered in paint and the Nursemother tutted as she picked them up and carried them off for a bath._

Years slid by, memories sparking…

"_Come on, Iain. It'll be **fun**."_

"_You said that last time."_

"_Oh, spoilsport. Come on, I wanna spy on the Council. They're talking about us again."_

"_Fine! But you take the blame this time."_

"_Of course I will."_

Watching the Council, discovering that they thought she was the Dragon…

"_I…I don't want you to do this… Others have been driven mad…"_

"_Iain, I'll be fine. I'll be **more** than fine. I promise you."_

_He looked so worried for her and on a wild impulse she dove forward and brushed her lips over his before pulling her hood over her head and walking into the Chambers._

Knowing, suddenly knowing who she was, **what **she was and the **power**, rushing through her, more vital than the very air she breathed. And walking out the Chambers as Dragon.

_The look on Iain's face was pure relief, then amazement then…something akin to fear. She smiled at him, reached out with her power and let their minds touch; soft, intimate, caring. His eyes widened in shock then bliss as the calming thoughts she sent swept across his mind._

Announcing her choice of Voice, Iain's face as he realised she had publicly announced their link. Then to the garden for the Quickening.

_Murmured words, soft whispers as the waterfall trickled, as they touched, body and mind in perfect unison._

Gathering strength, followers, preparing to lead them, to reshape the world. And then, the man who she met while she was outside the Halls, a man in a wheelchair who fixed his bright blue eyes on hers and then…then…

_She staggered under the mental attack, struggled to fight him off but he was protected by bright flames, an echo of the Phoenix and then she was being torn apart and warm arms caught her as she fell; warm, strong arms and a low voice._

"_I got her, Chuck. Now what?"_

She tried to struggle, to get free, but she felt soothing hands on her forehead and remembered that this was just memories, that she couldn't be hurt.

_Struggling as she felt her mind being torn through, as her memories were torn from her, as Dragon was forced into a tiny, cramped corner of her mind, as a new life was written for her and it was horrific._

She tried to scream but she couldn't and she wasn't certain if she was screaming in the past or the present.

_She clutched her head, knowing something was wrong but not knowing what. And then she walked past the door and overheard her name. She edged over and pressed one ear to the door._

"_She's breaking free, Chuck, we have to do something."_

"_I understand. Maybe… Maybe if she had something to keep her here, something that she will desperately want to believe is real. You say the others have no idea of the truth?"_

"_None at all."_

"_Then I think we'll have to go into our back-up plan. Do you agree?"_

_A snort._

"_I know you do not want this, but we have to keep her here. If she got loose…"_

"_I know, Chuck, I know. But… really? Her?"_

"_Logan, you know what we have to do. You have to make her love… Wait! She's outside!"_

_And then she tried to scream as she felt him force his way back into her mind, wiping her knowledge of the conversation from her head._

She bucked upwards, trying to shout that this was all lies, that Logan wasn't a lie, that her marriage wasn't a lie, that she really loved him and he loved her back! But she couldn't.

_The slightest look of repulsion in his eyes as he drew back from the kiss which was gone in less than a second. She ignored it, because she loved him and knew that he loved her as much as she did._

She tried to pull herself out of this stream, because it hurt so much, so very, very much. But she couldn't and was already being forced into the next memory.

_Overhearing yet another conversation, one that brought memories rushing back._

"_I hate doing this, Chuck. This ain't me. I can't keep pretending…"_

"_You have to. Unless you wish for her to follow the path that Jean followed, then you must keep her from remembering who she was."_

"_It's difficult. She keeps remembering. We need to deepen the telepathic stuff you do."_

"_Logan, to fully erase all her previous life, we'll need to remove her from all outside influences for a period of at least six months."_

"_Fake her death."_

"_What?"_

"_Pretend she gets killed on a mission somewhere. Do your stuff then make it turn out she wasn't dead after all. It worked with Jeannie. She still doesn't realise it was her all along and you just played with everyone's minds?"_

"_No, not yet."_

"_So it's decided? We fake her death, you do your stuff, she doesn't go crazy and destroy planets."_

"_You say she needs something to cement her in this life… Maybe if we gave her something else to think of…"_

"_What sort of thing?"_

"_Later… She's here… Listening… Again!"_

_And she tried to run but she was frozen as he tore through her once more._

She was screaming silently, her mouth open but no sound coming out. She was willing to do anything to stop this, trying to get out of this hellish version of reality that she didn't want to believe was real. And then she pulled herself out, jerking upright and sending the telepaths flying.

"I don't want to see anymore!"

The telepaths slipped away into the shadows as she clutched her head, her whole world shattering around her.

"I don't know what to believe! Bother lives can't be the truth but I… I can't believe… I don't want to…"

And Iain wrapped his arms around her and let her rest her head on his chest.

"I know. But you have to believe us."

* * *

><p>Phoenix let out a little sigh.<p>

"And then they go moaning when they get attacked by insane, extraordinarily powerful women."

"Jean?"

"Yes?"

"Not all of us are as bad as you."

"That's **rich**, coming for you, Ms I-Once-Totalled-Most-of-the-Midwest"

"Touché, my friend."


	198. Failings

**Memories**

Failings

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She sat in the semi-darkness, trying to reconcile these two lives that couldn't both be true. She couldn't bring herself to believe that Logan and all their time together… She wouldn't believe it was a lie. Yet this new life…it made sense. It explained her simple step into synch with Dragon, her comfortableness here, so very much. Yet if that world was true, it meant the life she had been living was a lie. And that she could not tolerate. Then she heard a soft voice in her head, a whisper she'd been unable to find until now.

_Tora…?_

There was a name to that voice, a dear name, a special name…

_Tora, it's me, Jeanne. Do you **know** how terrified everyone is?_

_Jeanne…_

A cat, a tiger; all silvery-grey and gentle, yet strong enough to take a man's head off with one swipe. A part of her yet so different

_Tora, are you alright? Oi, Two-Legs!_

She smiled slightly.

_Tora, is something wrong? You feel…wrong…_

_Jeanne… Has Logan asked after you?_

An uncomfortably embarrassed silence. Then the carefully worded response.

_I haven't **heard** anything, but Scott ignores me most of the time. Thinks I shouldn't have stayed. He put me on his 'Extinction' team –how morbid is that, anyway? He only put me on his main team because he wanted Dragon's power. He doesn't trust me. He just tells me what to do._

Tora ignored the rest of the comment after the first clause. Logan hadn't got in touch. He had ignored her. That either meant he didn't want to find her… or he knew where she was.

_Tora? Tora, are you listening to me? Tora, where are you? Tell me where you are! TORA!_

But she forced Jeanne out and rose in anger. Her life had been a lie. She'd loved him but he'd never loved her. It had all been a lie, a trick. Something to gain her power, to supress all that she was.

She grabbed the lamp from the table and threw it across the room then screamed as she fell to her knees. She felt slender claws slide from her hands and a new memory came.

"_Chuck, this need to be done properly. Else it'll kill her."_

"_She is the Dragon. She will heal. And she must believe our tale. How has the hollowing of the metacarpals gone?"_

"_No major damage to the nerves. The adamantium telescopic blades are inserted."_

"_Good. Now… Ah, she's semi-responsive. Let's have you back into that coma, shall we?"_

She collapsed face down as all the memories she'd pushed away came flooding back. Her life was suddenly whole, the true life of the Dragon in the Halls of Knowledge and the lacquer of the X-Man, the Weapon X Project, all the things she thought had defined her. They were just **stories**, something to hold on to, to make her stay. And then she flung back her head and howled like a wolf, a purely animal expression of regret and loss and anger and hate.

* * *

><p>The animal scream echoed around the cavernous room. Phoenix had noticed this often happened. When the woman was particularly emotional, the room reflected that emotion. Right now it was dark and huge, which meant she was darkly introspective, soul-searching the darkest parts of her being.<p>

"Stop being morbid."

"Whah?"

"You. Being morbid. Stop it."

"I'm not being morbid!"

"Room says otherwise."

The woman blushed.

"Okay, I'm just thinking about the past. Happy now?"

* * *

><p>Logan slammed his hands into the desk.<p>

"Listen to me, Slim! I **need** to speak to Jeanne! She's the only bloody chance we have of finding Tora!"

"We're not letting anyone else talk to Jeanne. She's in the Brig most of the time, or with a team member at all other times."

"For pity's sake, she ain't going to sabotage Utopia!"

_I'm afraid Scott isn't listening, Logan._

_Emma?_

_Yes. Now, I'm linking you with Jeanne. She has some interesting news._

_Jeanne?_

Jeanne always confused him. Her mind felt like Tora's but… sharper. More focussed. She was so animalistic that she mostly thought in terms of needs. Food. Water. Shelter. Cubs. Protect. Hunt. Run. There was a slight fuzziness around the edges, the human part that separated the world into 'me' and 'them', that had an idea of 'mercy' and 'joy'. Yet Jeanne always scared him slightly. Good and bad were just **words** to her. Animals don't have a concept of evil. And at her heart, Jeanne was an intelligent being but still a beast.

_Logan. Tora spoke but… I may have upset her._

_Where is she?_

_I don't know! _Regret –one of the few human emotions she felt- rolled off Jeanne. _She blocked me from her except to talk. But she's confused and conflicted. She… She felt wrong._

_How?_

_How should I know? I'm just a cat._

_Logan, this is Emma. I'll have to break the link. Scott has called a meeting. Apparently we're looking for Tora ourselves._

_Thanks, Em._

_Don't call me that **ridiculous** pet name. And Logan?_

_Yeah?_

_Find her. Before it's too late. I once drove the Phoenix insane. Stop someone else from making the same mistake._

The link was cut abruptly and he knew that Emma had gone off once more. Then he heard a low voice speak his name.

"Logan?"

"What do you want?"

The Scarlet Witch walked in, looking embarrassed.

"I've tried a few things. Nothing has come of it, but… Logan, we think we've found something."

"What?"

She held out a hand, unfurling it to reveal a gleaming silver brooch set with sapphires. The Dragon, wings spread and head roaring.

"We found this where she disappeared. The Avengers thought it might be hers but she never wore jewellery like that. It would catch or get damaged. And the fools didn't tell us."

Logan grabbed it and inhaled. His eyes widened.

"I got this scent at the building! Right, we need to get there as fast as possible!"

Wanda nodded, held out her hands and waved them. And they faded out in a ball of red light, reappearing at the building. Logan stormed forward and inhaled, then pointed two fingers east.

"That way."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. They cloaked their scent leaving, but not entering."

"What if they aren't going back to the same place?"

"The trail will head back there eventually. And… I think they **want** us to find this. They want us to follow. I don't like this."

"You think it's a trap?"

"Of course."

"So what are we going to do?"

"**We**?"

"Certainly. I can get Tora out if need be without fighting. Anyway, I'm not letting you go gallivanting off into a trap on your own."

"I don't **gallivant**. I spring traps and leave the teeth empty."

"Whereas I set off the traps before we're anywhere near them."

They stared at each other and then Logan grunted.

"This way."

He marched off and Wanda hurried after him, knowing that they would never accept each other but for the sake of Tora they would work together.

* * *

><p>"They did always have the most cordial hate-hate relationship I have ever seen."<p>

"Well, when Tora wanted to be friends with both of you, you didn't try and kill each other because it just annoyed her."


	199. Raging Oceans

**Memories**

Raging Oceans

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She had dispensed of the ragged blue clothes she had worn when she arrived and the long, sweeping robes they had later given her. Instead she slid on the graceful clothes she had found in the wardrobe. They were long and deep blue, practical but also incorporating the fluid lines of the loose robes the others she had seen wore. She pulled up the hood to cover her face, the face she couldn't stand to see for the eyes that gleamed with the sharp glint of the betrayed. Then she slid on the silver belt and turned to face the picture hanging on the wall. It was a good likeness, she admitted that. The Angel of the Dragon, her long silver hair spilling out behind her in the wind and the black wings spread out, shielding the cowering humans from the twisting bird made of oily flames that threw off belching clouds of black smoke. The First Prophet of the Order of the Dragon, an angel sent by the Lady of the Waters. She lowered her head in the slightest hint of respect for a woman she still greatly admired. Then she turned and walked out, already planning how to best complete the task before her.

She heard Iain walking up behind her but didn't slow down as he fell into step, a half-pace behind her and slightly to the right. They'd walked like this for years. Now it felt natural, ordered, as opposed to the chaos of the X-Men. She despised Chaos. Chaos was the domain of the Phoenix, the Firebird who burnt through everything. She was meant to preserve all the world, like a fly in amber, sealed forever and protected from all the changes of the outside universe. She heard others stepping quickly out of her way. One didn't want to upset the Dragon. The woman who had given up any of her prior existence; her name, her family, her humanity, to be one with the Dragon; whose devotion to the cause had meant she gave up everything for the Dragon. And then there was a low sound of the warning bell. She whipped around.

"Who would attack us?"

"They have come for you once more."

And she felt something stir in her, something that could be love, could be hate. All she knew was that it was screaming to be let out and used. So she did.

* * *

><p>"Oh dear. She wasn't too harsh on them, was she?"<p>

"Well, aside from almost breaking Logan, she wasn't that bad."

"Oh… Like **that**, was it?"

* * *

><p>Logan and Wanda hadn't met any resistance so far. And that worried him. And then there were the statues, huge dragons staring down at them. He'd caught a few glimpses of people in blue robes slipping away into side passages but nothing so far.<p>

"I don't like this."

Wanda gave a nervous laugh.

"None of this hall is mechanised. No trapdoors, no robots. Nothing at all. There doesn't seem to be anything down the side passages so…"

"We have to keep going down this one, like sheep to the slaughter?"

"Yeah."

And then wind suddenly whistled up the corridor, arctic cold wind, like the air off Hudson Bay. Logan raised a hand to shield his face and Wanda wrapped her cloak tight around her. And then they heard the voice, rising in the howling wind, a voice like the roaring of the ocean in a storm.

"**LOGAN**!"

He moved his hand in time to see a figure shooting towards them, riding a wave that was being controlled by her. And then she landed in front of them and the waters parted around them and reconverged after them. And Logan stood frozen as he stared at the woman watching him with hawk-like eyes.

She was dressed in dark blue clothes; loose trousers and a long shirt with a dragon emblazoned on the chest in dull grey. Her hair was flickering around her. And her face was contorted with hatred.

"Tora…?"

Her lips parted in a silent snarl.

"Don't. You. **Dare**. Call. Me. That."

"Tora?"

"You lied. All this time, it's all been one big lie. I **trusted** you! I loved you! I was **stupid** enough to think you loved me as well!"

"Tora!"

But she had already thrown out an arm and held her hand clenched out in front of her, directing the waves to do the same to him. Her eyes were narrowed and Logan's attempts to free himself just meant she clutched harder, cutting off his air supply.

"All lies. All tricks. My whole life. I was just a pet, to be kept and cared for and not allowed to exert myself unless I learnt of who I truly was. You and Xavier, two men keeping me prisoner in my own head."

"I don't…"

She was suddenly looming over him, kicking his feet from under him. Wanda moved towards her as if to strike but Tora turned without warning and flung her into one of the statues.

"Stay **out** of this! My fight isn't with you!"

And she turned back to Logan and her fingers touched his neck before tightening, nails digging into flesh.

"You lied. You lied to me, made me think I was someone else. You tricked me for so long. I know it was a lie from the start. So tell me. Did you **ever** feel more than fear of me?"

"I…don't…understand…"

"You can stop the lies. I **know** what you did. I know that you and Charles Xavier were afraid I would turn out like the Phoenix –like the Chaos Bringer- and kidnapped and mindwiped me. You tore any sense of identity from me and made me think I was someone else. There is **no** excuse for what you did, nothing to prove that the failings of Xavier to control his pet would damage me."

His eyes widened in horror as he realised what she was saying.

"It…wasn't…lie…"

"Don't you **dare** keep lying to me! I've had enough of lies for my whole life! Tell the **truth**!"

"He can't! Tora, you're choking him!"

Tora's head snapped around to face Wanda, her eyes gleaming silver.

"I am not **Tora**. Tora was a fabrication, a lie. I am Dragon. And don't you **dare** tell me about him. He choked me for eight years. He suffocated who I truly was, helping Xavier wipe my mind every time I showed a **hint** of remembering who I was."

"That's not true!"

"How would you know!"

"BECAUSE I'M YOUR **FRIEND**! I KNOW YOU! And… And I can change reality. For that, I need to know what **reality** is."

"You're lying!"

"I'm not! I promise you!"

But Tora had now grabbed Wanda and pushed her to her knees.

"Did Xavier tell you!? Are you in on this as well!? You are, aren't you! All my friends have been lying to me!"

"No…"

"All lies, all this time! I **trusted** you! I cared for you as a friend!"

"Tora… You…saved my…life… When…the X-Men wanted…to kill me, remember?"

Tora's hand loosened from Wanda's throat and she was staring at her with a lost look on her face.

"I…I remember…"

"And you told everyone all your darkest secrets, remember?"

"…Yes…"

"I owe you my life for that. If I thought for one second that you were being manipulated, then I'd have done everything in my power to help you."

For the briefest second, she saw a flash of sanity in Tora's eyes which disintegrated into mistrust.

"But that was **your** 'Tora'. So from your point of view, you are stopping your friend from being destroyed. But she was just a construction. A façade over the true me."

"I can't believe that."

And then Tora's eyes narrowed.

"You almost had me. Too bad."

Her fist slammed into Wanda's face and, weighted with adamantium as it was, it was lucky Wanda's neck didn't snap. Instead she simply crumpled into unconsciousness. Tora turned her attention back to Logan, her eyes glowing silver.

"I should kill you for what you did to me. But… I can't…"

She released his neck and glared down at him.

"Get out of my sight."

"What…?"

"Get out. Take the Witch, leave and **never** come back. If I ever see you again, I **will** kill you."

He gasped for air as he stared up at her, not quite believing what he was hearing.

"Tora…"

"Go. Now."

And she turned away, raising her hand as she did so and flicking it, sending a wave to push them all the way out of the building, into caves and outside. Logan coughed again, then turned to see the Scarlet Witch lying comatose on the other edge of the ledge. He hurried over and cursed when he realised she wasn't breathing.

"You owe me for this one, Maximoff."

And he placed his hands on her chestbone and started chest compressions, wondering how Tora –before all this had happened- would have reacted to this.

And in the seat of his chest, he felt a burning pain, one he had felt far too often. The agony of a broken heart.

* * *

><p>Phoenix whistled through her teeth.<p>

"Ouch. Oh, poor Logan. I really want to go back and punch those… those…"

"Swear filter, please."

"Naughty people… Wait! Bad words! Bad words!"

She turned to the host who had a slight smirk on the unmasked side of her face.

"I bad word hate you."


	200. Take No Retribution

**Memories**

Take No Retribution

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

When Logan and Wanda limped back into what the X-Men were calling 'Tora Base', everyone stopped to stare at the bloodied, bruised and battered Witch who had one arm draped over Logan's shoulder.

"Someone get her to Hank!"

Logan lowered her into Rogue's waiting arms.

"We found her."

"Tora! Where! Where's _ma sœur_!?"

"She wouldn't come with us."

"What!"

"No way!"

"You've gotta be joking!"

Logan collapsed into a chair.

"She… She looked at me like she hated me. She… She thought that Chuck and I had kidnapped her from another life and messed with her head until she thought she was Tora…"

"WHAT!?"

He rested his head in his hands.

"I don't know **what** she thought. But I know hate when I see it. She **hated** me."

Curt hurried over.

"What's wrong with Maman?"

"We don't know."

Curt pouted.

"Where is she, Dad? I'll head over. Come on, she can't hate **me**."

Eloise nodded.

"I'll go as well."

And Rachel stepped forward.

"You'll need an Omega-level telepath to fix whatever has been done to her. And sorry, 'Loise, but you aren't anywhere near that power level."

The three nodded at each other. Then another voice spoke up.

"I will come."

They turned to see Laura, who blushed.

"I have only just been allowed to leave the Academy."

And Curt leapt over and gave her a huge hug.

"You big idiot. Come here, sis! Give me a hug."

Laura stood the bone crushing embrace for a second before pushing her 'brother' off her.

"I'm coming as well. Tora is likely to still trust me."

There was a moment's silence, then Logan nodded. Finally, there was a sudden burst of swearing as Jubilee shot into the room, carrying a squirming cat.

"Am I late? Sorry, had a bit of trouble in Ohio."

Jeanne jumped down.

"You really should be more careful, Jubilation."

"Oh **great**, you're doing the Tora teacher impersonation. Please stop using my full name."

Jeanne padded forward and as she did, her body flowed and changed into the tiger.

"Right, you horrible little lot. Seeing as I'm the only one who appears to have half an ounce of sense between us, **and** I am linked to Tora in a way none of you are. So I propose I plan and run this stupid rescue mission to get my worse half back."

There was a pause.

"Don't you mean **better** half?"

"No, I meant **worse**. Now, any objections?"

Eloise shrugged.

"Aside from being led by a tiger, I'm fine."

"If you want, I can take a more humanoid appearance. However, I find it…irritating…"

There was a moment's silence then Jeanne sighed.

"I'll demonstrate."

The body that appeared was tall, muscular and furry, with a feline head sitting atop a primate body with a straight back and then the hind legs of a feline and a swishing tail. She slipped back into the tiger form and sat back on her haunches.

"See, impractical and foolish."

There was a long moment's silence then Eloise coughed.

"So that's us then?"

There was awkward silence and then Rachel shrugged.

"Okay."

Curt raised a hand.

"Do you want me to slice us there?"

There was a moment's silence.

"What?"

Curt sighed.

"Basically, I create a wedge of time and push us backwards in time at the same rate everything else goes forward so to us, everything else has stopped. To us, it'll take us however long it took Dad to get to Maman. But to everyone else, we'll do it in no time at all."

Rachel grinned.

"See, he's already got the hang of it all."

Curt closed his eyes.

"Jeanne… Rachel… Laura… Tante Eloise… Me…"

And then they vanished.

* * *

><p>Phoenix raised an eyebrow.<p>

"Is he the reason that the whole Earth time zone was all messed up?"

The masked woman shrugged.

"He couldn't **create** time, just…move it around. How much time does a dinosaur need, anyway?"

"He stole time from the past?"

"He was very good at it. Didn't you ever see the Halls of Time? That was his invention."

"You mean the huge bobbins that wound or released time?"

"Yes, those things."

Phoenix whistled through her teeth.

"There definitely was an inventive streak in that family."

* * *

><p>To the rescue mission, what had happened was everyone else in the room appeared to slow to the tiniest of movements, like a movie played a frame at a time at half the usual speed. Only the movie had a filter, a green tinge to everything. Curt whistled.<p>

"Right, we're in the fourth segment. I can't keep us in the sixth or seventh for long but once we get moving, it's into the fifth."

"What?"

Curt sighed.

"I'm basically cutting and stretching a second into smaller and smaller pieces. It's complicated and awkward to do, not to mention tiring, so can we get moving?"

It was the work of a moment for Rachel to start moving them as fast as she could, so they hovered across the country watching the eerily silent and still world spread out beneath them, as the colours darkened to blue then indigo and finally purple. And then he swore and closed his eyes.

"This'll hurt."

And the world went black and Rachel stared at Curt, whose face was contorted in agony.

"Curt!"

"Keep…going…"

She didn't know if he was referring to her or himself so she tried to speed them up, hoping that if they got there faster, Curt wouldn't burn his powers out. She knew he was powerful –the fact he could slice time like this, so finely, was proof of that- but he hadn't the stamina or the training for anything this intense. And then Rachel saw the cave entrance, just as Logan had shown her in his memories. As soon as they touched down on the ledge, she shook Curt until the world snapped back into life and the boy slumped forward, exhausted.

"You did great."

"I…know I did…"

She glanced over at Jeanne, trying to gauge a reaction but the cat was ignoring everyone. Feeling the slightest flash of guilt, she slipped into his mind and shut him down, dropping him gently into sleep. Then she reached out to Logan.

_We're here._

And Jeanne was already walking into the cave. Rachel hurried after her and could hear Eloise and Laura arguing about who was staying with Curt. And then Laura's steps deadening as she dragged Curt up onto her shoulders and resorted to carrying him. They passed the stalagmites and stalactites and Rachel wondered which was which. Tora would know and she'd probably give you a lecture on classical limestone formation whilst she was at it. For someone who liked to pretend she was just the muscle of the group or the acrobat, she knew a lot of random facts that didn't appear to have any particular relation to being a teacher or an X-Man or Avenger. She just seemed to absorb the facts, in some sort of eidetic ideal. And then the cave gave way to a magnificent hall with carved dragons staring down from the walls as far as the eye could see and lit with huge braziers. They were unchallenged but Rachel was prepared for Tora to appear at any time. Much to her chagrin, Jeanne had taken point, the long rangy legs of the tiger padding silently. Jeanne stopped and raised her head, inhaling softly.

"She was here… There are a lot of scents here, but her mind has been shielded. This way."

And the tiger was bounding off down the hallway, leaving Laura dragging Curt along at the rear. Rachel noticed and took up some of the weight from Laura, who nodded swiftly to her, the closest the steely girl would get to thanking her. And then the hall opened out into a huge cavern, where sunlight seemed to spill from glowing white crystals. And in the centre of the room stood Tora, a man in black hovering behind her shoulder as she controlled the streams of water swirling around like ribbons.

"Marie."

Eloise's voice was quiet but it carried and the water all smashed to the floor as Tora whipped around, her lips mouthing 'Eloise'. And then she saw Laura carrying Curt and a choked cry slid from her lips and she was running towards them, then gently cradling her son's head in her arms as Laura respectfully stepped back. And then Tora stood up, her eyes gleaming dangerously.

"Who did this?"

Rachel stepped forward.

"He needed to rest. He almost overloaded his mind in an attempt to get to you."

Tora's eyes had narrowed.

"You are the Phoenixspawn."

That didn't sound good. That **really** didn't sound good.

"You **dare** hurt him!?"

"I didn't…"

But Tora's hand was already out and the waves had Rachel pressed up against the wall, crushing her chest.

"All of you, always betraying me."

"Marie, I beg of you…"

She turned to Eloise.

"Why are **you** here?"

The way she spat out the question obviously hurt her sister, whose eyes flashed sorrowfully.

"I was worried about you."

"Tora…?"

And now Tora's eyes softened slightly as she saw the girl she treated as a cross between a sister, a niece and a daughter.

"Laura…"

"We miss you."

"Laura…"

"Please, come back. Logan… Tora, he was crying."

At the mention of Logan, any kindness in Tora's eyes vanished.

"You too? Will everyone I care for betray me!?"

And then Jeanne padded forward.

"Twenty minutes after you pushed me out, Logan was finally put through to me after begging with Scott for three hours to be allowed to talk to me. Go on. Let me in. I'll prove it."

The look on Tora's face was torn. Jeanne nodded.

"You don't trust me, but now you're afraid, because if you can't trust yourself, who **can** you trust?"

Tora nodded curtly and then Rachel felt…nothing… Of course, Tora's link with Jeanne wasn't like usual mental links. After all, they were still the same person deep down. So Jeanne wasn't trying to allow Rachel in to shatter all the illusions. And Tora's eyes were widening and Rachel felt the pressure lift slightly. She wished she could hear the telepathic rapport that would be going on between the single person in two bodies. But she couldn't, not without trying to force her way in and Tora in this state… well, she'd probably take it as an attack and retaliate as such. And she probably would use lethal force when she was like this. And then she was staggering backwards, stumbling over and the man caught her.

"Don't listen to their lies! They are trying to trap you! Don't listen."

And Eloise's face was suddenly framed with the delicate green cat and the man went flying back.

"Don't. You. **Dare**. Try. And. Manipulate. _Ma_. _Sœur_."

The usually quite weak telepath and middling-level telekinetic was incited by the apparent manipulation of her sister and her powers seemed to be spiking, so the man was being tossed around like a ragdoll. Green psi-energy was gathering around her hands, always a sign that she was mad. Her telekinesis was about equal to Psylocke's, so it was entirely possible that a psychic blade would suddenly materialise. And that would be a bad idea.

"Verity, control yourself!"

The use of her old codename snapped Eloise back to her senses. The green light faded but she still looked annoyed.

"Lucky you. If I had my way, I'd have ripped you to pieces. You see, my sister has always been very protective of me and now I find myself returning the favour."

Tora was on her knees, hands clinging to her head. As Rachel walked towards her, she could hear the muttered words under her breath, the same words over and over again.

"_Qui suis-je? Suis-je Tora? Suis-je Dragon? Qui suis-je? Je suis Tora. Je suis Dragon. Je suis tout et rien. Je suis humain et dieu. __Je suis… Qui suis-je? Qui suis-je?_"

"Tora?"

The eyes that looked up were little more than a child's, alone and confused.

"Ray…?"

"Yes. It's me. Do you trust me?"

And she held out a hand. There was a moment's silence and then the slender tanned hand slid into hers and Rachel pulled up Tora.

"Will you let me in?"

Tora's lips moved but no words came out. And then there was the almost imperceptible nod and Rachel pressed her fingers to Tora's temples and entered, ignoring the screamed "NOO!" from the man in black.

As soon as she was inside Tora's mind, Rachel swore. Whoever had been in there last hadn't any finesse. It was a crudely done mental block, where the telepath had torn right through the fragile woman and blurred the lines between fantasy and reality. Any halfway decent telepath would have been able to do something like this with surgical precision. But instead they'd ripped through Tora's mind like a hurricane.

It was difficult; finding memories, piecing them back together, hoping for the best when it came to some of the worst fractures. Once again, she cursed the amateurs who had made such a mess of the crystalline halls. Separating fact from fiction was the hardest, as Tora wasn't quite sure which was which anymore. And just as she was about to drop, she felt Eloise slip into her mind and offer the strength of the others to help with this seemingly unending task. And finally she felt the pieces begin to slip into place by themselves, as Tora herself started to help her. And then she finally slipped out of Tora's mind and saw Tora staring up at her with such relief in her golden eyes.

"Are you okay?"

The slightest of smiles touched the corner of Tora's mouth not marred by scars.

"I've been better."

And then she pulled herself up and her hands slid out and she raised an eyebrow.

"Come on, I know you brought it."

"You really do have a reliance on that thing."

"I find it reminds me of what I was. Come on, Marvel Girl. Hand it over."

Rachel grinned as she pulled out the silver headdress.

"Of course I brought it. Know which one this is?"

Tora weighed it in her hands and a smile split her face.

"I don't believe it! My first one! Look, you can tell by the scratch on the jawline where I was almost beheaded!"

"I'll take your word for it."

The movement was swift but when it was over, the silver metal was framing Tora's face and there was a slight relaxing around her eyes. Tora Logan –slightly confused woman- transitioned into Tora Logan –hero and protector of Earth.

"Right. Let's get this mess sorted out."

She turned towards the man, who raised one hand up from his position kneeling on the floor.

"No…"

"You played with me. You made me doubt who I was, everything that makes me me. You made my question everything I have ever relied on for my sense of identity. You invaded the only sanctuary I have ever had and you hurt all those I cared about."

"We… We had to save you…"

"You kidnapped me and sedated me and shattered my mind. You made me think my best memories were my worst. You twisted everything about me."

And her hair was flying in a wind that none of them could feel and she was standing over him and her eyes were unreadable.

"Yet… Yet you had a reason. You honestly believed that your way would save the world and everyone in it. You placed your faith in half-remembered prophecies from a woman who would never claim the Dragon was a god. You were misguided and confused. Little more than children. And I have nothing but pity for you."

"But…"

"But I can never save the world the way you want me to. I shall do everything in my power to save the world. But not the way you want me to. I would never consent to rule. Free will is **everything**. If humanity does not wish to save the world, then it shall live with the consequences. And die with them as well. If a world destroys itself, the Dragon may not interfere. That is where the Phoenix comes in. It burns what is stagnant away from all that has forgotten that it must evolve. It is my job to step in when a world or species has reached its peak and cannot rise any higher. I cannot intervene. I cannot stagnate. For that is cruelty incarnate."

"But…I…I cared for you…"

"I know. And that is why I will not take retribution. But I **have** a life. I have a family. I have children who need me and a husband who loves me, despite what you made me believe. And now… And now, I think I need to return to them."

And without another word, she turned and walked away, Jeanne moving in sync with her, waves coiling around Tora's legs as the tiger metamorphosed into the cat. And the man fell forward and started crying luxuriously.

* * *

><p>Phoenix smiled sadly.<p>

"She was always better at emotional control than I was. I would have probably burnt them to nothing and gone Dark."

"Oh, Jean. Do give yourself a **little** more credit."

"Oh yeah, Miss I-Am-A-Deeply-Flawed-Person-Who-Nevertheless-Feels-Extrodinarily-Guilty-If-I-Accidentally-Forget-To-Give-A-Begging-Person-As-Much-Money-As-I-Am-Carrying-On-Me-At-The-Time."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Wow. 200 chapters... I need to get a **life**. Or maybe I need to get rid of my life, so I don't have to vent all my pent-up emotions into writing (I'm British, we're good at emotional repression). I have to say, if this reaches 300 chapters, I will quite possibly have gone crazy. Or my friends will have killed me for being an "over-obsessive perfectionist who can't ever leave something until it's finished, are you listening to us at all? Oi, you!" So yeah. I'm hoping to wrap Memories up shortly. Well, when I say shortly... I mean, within another 100 chapters. I seem to be going for the record for longest X-Man story. And I think I should use now to thank everyone who's been here from the beginning, with a special mention for Jeanniebird, who does their level best to faithfully review every single chapter.  
><em>

_In case I don't get a chance to update for a while, Merry Christmas! Also, am I just posting this to no one in particular? Does anyone read these Author's Notes? Or do you just sigh and go "Suma's at it again"? Or am I just paranoid? I have to go and read all sorts of interesting stuff about antimatter and fundamental particles. Beware, I may be inspired. So, Merry Christmas and have a happy Hogmanay and New Year!_


	201. Fears

**Memories**

Fears

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

The door opened and everyone looked up. The eight hour wait had been horrendous. Laura came in first, still carrying Curt, who was groaning. Rachel stepped in and immediately collapsed into a chair looking exhausted. Eloise silently let Luke envelop her in an embrace yet no one spoke. Logan's voice finally cracked.

"Where's… Where is she?"

"Right here."

They all turned to see Tora standing in the door, Jeanne draped around her neck like a fur stole. Her face was expressionless and there was still the gleaming silver headdress on, although she'd changed on the journey into her usual jeans and shirt ensemble. Logan stared at her but she wasn't giving anything away from her body language.

"Tora…?"

"That's me, you idiot. Whatever possessed you to come after me with only Wanda for back-up? Are you freaking insane, you stupid, **stupid** man!?"

But then a smile split her face.

"And only you would be so stupid but then I knew that when I married you, you impulsive fool. Come on, when have you **ever** thought something out before you went charging in?"

He grinned back.

"I remember spending a rather horrific week of sleepless nights wondering whether you'd stab me if I proposed."

She looked at him in surprise.

"You never told me that."

"Well, I never knew how you'd take it…"

And then she held out her arms wide and raised an eyebrow.

"No greetings hug? I'm disappointed, Logan."

She suddenly disappeared under the influx of X-Men who all took the opportunity to hug her, ruffle her hair (something they would never **dare** try in normal circumstances) and generally fuss over her. She took it good-naturedly for a while then gently disentangled herself.

"Come on, guys. I've had a shadow for the last however many days. Need a little privacy here."

And then she looked back at Logan and the slightest twinkle sparkled in her eyes.

"So then, exactly **how** worried were you?"

"Not at all."

"Laura said you'd been crying."

The look Logan shot his clone told her quite plainly that she wasn't under any circumstances to ever mention anything like that ever again. Tora was still smiling brightly.

"Well? Were you or were you not worried sick?"

"You know how I was, you irritating woman."

"Oh, you idiot. Come on. Hug."

And then they were embracing and laughing and those close by pretended to ignore the little whispered "_J'aime tu._"

* * *

><p>"Oh, that's so <strong>sweet<strong>!"

The masked woman rolled her eyes.

"You said that about the video of the dancing kittens, Jean. And I just said it was cruel and you yelled at me."

"You're a killjoy, you know that, don't you?"

* * *

><p>Tora sat on the wet grass, legs crossed neatly and eyes closed. She touched her fingers to the ground and sent out tendrils of water, searching for something. She found it, a tiny firefly buried deep in the ground. Something warm flitted into her mind, something huge and knowing, yet also small and weak.<p>

_Dr…Dra…gon…_

_Tis I._

_I…I…come… The…girl…?_

_She isn't ready yet. You have to wait._

_I…am…**done**…wait…ing…_

_You have to wait. You can't force your way in. She isn't mature enough to fully understand…_

_And…you…were…?_

_I have never been a child._

_Neither…has…she…_

_We're not ready. We're a fractured race, divided in two. This isn't the time… Let me explain…_

_We…have no…more time… If I do not…come now…when I do come…it will be…to burn…_

_You cannot! Give me more **time**!_

_Time…is in…such…short…supply…these days…_

_No! Phoenix, you can't! Hope isn't ready, the X-Men are torn into factions, the Avengers need to know what we're doing, the Gri-_

_I…come… I…come… I…**come**…_

_NOOO!_

And the firefly was burning brighter and brighter into an inferno as she felt the flames draw closer and closer and closer and she tried desperately to pull herself out of the mental lock she was in. But she couldn't and the flames enfolded her and embraced her and lapped gently around her.

_Phoenix, you can't!_

_I have to…_

_She isn't ready for an entire cosmic entity to suddenly pop into her head!_

_Who said anything about an **entire** cosmic entity?_

_No! Phoenix, you can't! She'll panic, she's still just a child! A scared little girl who lost her father!_

_Jean Grey was naught but a scared little girl when I came to her the first time._

_And we all know how that turned out!_

_And you were still little more than a child when Dragon came to you!_

_I was a mother!_

_Children can still have children._

_I knew what I was doing!_

_No. You didn't. You fought and struggled and expended energy in a fight you could not hope to win._

_I'm stubborn._

_Yes. Dragon always has been._

_I am **not** Dragon!_

_Yes, you are. You were born to be Dragon._

_I wasn't! I don't believe in fate or destiny!_

_Yet you have met both of them._

_I don't…can't believe that our lives are predestined!_

_Because if you do, that will make your oh, so precious 'free will' mean nothing at all. You should know better than that, my friend. You know that free will has no place in our world._

_There **is** free will! There **has** to be! I cannot believe the Father would condone my childhood!_

_There is **always** a plan, Dragon. Always._

_No! I refuse to believe it!_

_You're a fool, a naïve fool, Dragon._

_I have never been **naïve**. My faith in the good of humanity was shattered as a child. I cannot ever believe I was **fated** to be tortured._

_When one is the Dragon Incarnate, one has no free will. You were fated to follow the path that would lead you to the Dragon. You had no choice, although you had the **appearance** of free choice._

_I don't…**can't** believe you!_

_You have to._

_I won't and shan't. Can we change the subject?_

_You have to help me._

_I **can't**. Phoenix, if you force my hand… You could destroy everything I've worked to keep together._

_Like **what**? A family that's going its own way? Friendships that are breaking because you're so distant? Or how about a relationship that only works because you're both too stubborn to admit it has run its course._

Tora leapt up, her hands clenching into fists and her nails digging into her palms, little streaks of blood trickling from the cuts. In her anger, she forgot that this was a telepathic conversation and shouted out loud.

"That's not true, you overgrown starling! That's not true, and you know it! You're playing with me, you stupid bird! That's all a lie, because you're trying to get me mad enough to help you! It won't work! It won't!"

_If that **had** been my intention, it seems to have worked. You really need to control that temper. Flying off the handle is not a valid method of dealing with anything. Unless you're Lord Rage, of course._

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD! I WON'T HELP YOU! And if you come within three parsecs of Hope, I **will** do everything in my considerable power to tear you apart."

And she felt such sorrow emanating from Phoenix.

_If I do not come for her now, this is what shall happen. Please… Dragon… **Tora**… Do not force my hand…_

And Tora fell to her knees and screamed as she saw what **could **be.

* * *

><p>Phoenix had the decency to look embarrassed.<p>

"I'm sorry. I did have reason to panic."

"But forcing yourself into her head like that. It was **asking** for trouble."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>And we can all see where this is going, can't we?_


	202. Outstretched Hand

**Memories**

Outstretched Hand

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

They sat in the room, hearing the shouts from outside. And then the door opened. Laurie tried to swing a heavy pipe towards the figure but a hand reached up and grabbed her wrist.

"Hey, I'm here to **help**. Good swing, by the way."

Hope had leapt up, her eyes eager.

"Dragon!"

Tora nodded.

"Right, Hope, I need you to come with me."

Everyone glanced nervously at each other. Tora pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed.

"Scott's not got the right way of doing this. Neither is anyone else, as far as I can see. I'm the only one who appears to have half an ounce of common sense about this. I'm going behind everyone's back and risking not only everyone's trust in me but quite possibly destroy my marriage as well. So either you come with me, or I knock out everyone in the room, carry you out over my shoulder and manage to find a way of you saving the mutant race without upsetting the Avengers or your team or my team."

"How are you planning to do that?"

Tora grinned.

"And that would be telling. So, Hope? What's your choice? Bear in mind, your chances of remaining out of custody and with a surplus of breath increase exponentially if you're with me."

Hope stared at Tora for a long moment, then nodded.

"Where are we going?"

One gloved hand was held out, and Hope grasped it.

"Where it ended and began. And now it begins again."

* * *

><p>Phoenix winced.<p>

"It's **there**, isn't it?"

"You always hated it there, didn't you?"

"Committing suicide isn't conducive to your enjoyment of a place."

* * *

><p>Logan opened the door and froze. The kids were all lying neatly and comfortably in seats, but were all asleep. All except the conspicuously absent Hope. And neatly pinned to the wall was a sheet of paper, with all-too familiar writing on it.<p>

_To whoever finds this note. I have taken Hope away from this fight, because it isn't about the Phoenix. It's about old scores that need to be settled and an excuse for them to have a go at each other. I plan to take Hope somewhere safe, where I can train her and prepare her for her future. There are too many distractions and factions for her to be safe anymore. I don't know how long we'll be gone. It shall depend on so many factors, I cannot list them all._

_The children are fine. It was a simple act to protect them. They should wake at around eight. Keep them safe and do not be too harsh on them. They will remember nothing when they wake._

_Hope came with me of her own free will. While with me, she stands the greatest chance of learning to control her innate talents and when the Phoenix comes, I hope that it will not be to burn but to rejuvenate. _

_I need to state something. Birj was stagnated. The world was in its death throes, brought about by a foolish and tyrannical leader. Life was not wiped out but given a chance to move forward again. Those with the ability to adapt and grow, to flourish and evolve shall survive. The Phoenix has expanded the lifespan of that world by millennia._

_And finally. To Logan. I'm sorry I went behind your back. I'm sorry I lied. I'm sorry I screamed at you when you told me your plan. I'm sorry I hit Steve. I'm sorry I scared you. But I have to do this. Phoenix and Dragon are intertwined. Tangled together so tightly, we cannot pull ourselves apart. I have to help Hope as she is our future and past and triumphs and failings. She is not the Mutant Messiah. She is Mutantkind. If she rises, so shall we. And if she falls… then extinction shall be our price to pay for the follies of our kind. Logan, you must believe me. Do not follow. Only grief lies down that path. Grief, suffering and the cries of those whose loved ones are dead. The dreams… The dreams, always there, never ending, nightmares every night, blood and tears across the whole world. This fight must __**not**__ escalate!_

Instead of a signature, the dragon was burnt into the paper, gleaming silver in the half-light.

Logan ripped the page from the wall and violently scrunched it up. He couldn't **believe** this! He **wouldn't**! There was no **way** Tora would go behind his back like that! But unbidden, the memory of their last conversation flitted to the forefront of his mind, just after he told Tora he was going with Steve to stop the Phoenix from possessing Hope.

_Tora's lips slid back in a snarl._

"_You would strike out at the Phoenix, yet not at me?"_

_Steve held out his hands placatingly._

"_Tora, you are a handgun. Phoenix is an atom bomb. Dragon isn't powerful."_

_She stood up, eyes glowing silver._

"_All cosmic entities have the power to destroy or heal entire planets. And if Phoenix is an atom bomb, then I am the Big Bang. I am the Librarian of All."_

And she'd stormed out, muttering archaic curses under her breath. Logan had forced it to the back of his mind with difficulty. After all, Tora would come round to his way of thinking eventually. But now…? Now he hadn't a clue of what to do. He suddenly heard Parker behind him.

"Logan? Oh… What happened here?"

"Tora happened, that's what."

And without another word, Logan turned around and stomped off. He was going to have to have words with Tora about this.

* * *

><p>Phoenix had the decency to blush.<p>

"Look, I didn't know how badly he would take it."

* * *

><p>Tora was lying flat on her back, swearing softly in French as she gently pushed wires together. And then she felt Hope slip under the low belly of the machine with her.<p>

"Can I help?"

"Know anything about rockets?"

"Only weapons. Sorry. My education was a bit patchy. It was all you could do to make sure I could read and write properly. Nathan was more worried about keeping me alive."

Tora swore again as her fingers were zapped by a small spark.

"This stupid machine! SWORD need to keep their equipment in better condition."

"We're hotwiring a government space probe?"

"Yep. Shouldn't be too hard in theory. In practise… Well, that's a different story."

Tora grinned as the LED panels turned pink.

"Typical Brand. It's based on the Kasheri colour-code system. Pink is good, blue is bad."

She shimmed out and stretched as the lights in the cockpit all started glowing. Hope stood up next to her.

"So where **exactly** are we going?"

Tora sat down and started acquainting herself with the controls. Then she sighed.

"What do you know about the Blue Area of the Moon?"

"Doesn't it have a breathable atmosphere?"

"Is that it?"

"Yeah."

Tora sighed.

"The Blue Area was where the trial of Phoenix took place. The Phoenix had committed genocide and the Shi'ar were trying to sentence her to death. The Phoenix committed suicide. She wasn't Jean Grey. But she **thought** she was. And at that time, Jean would rather die human than live a god. So the Phoenix 'killed' herself. But you can't kill something like that. Plays havoc with the fabric of the universe."

Hope sat down in the co-pilot's seat. Tora's eyes weren't telling anything.

"Tora?"

"Yes?"

"Will… Will it hurt?"

"You'll suddenly know. Yes, it hurts. But then you are so strong. It's the most wonderful feeling in the world…"

"What was it like for you?"

"Well, I was a bit of an idiot. I fought it. If you accept it, the pain will be over in a flash. In my case, I was in agony for about a week."

Hope gulped but Tora was busy flipping switches. The engines fired up and the capsule sealed. Hope strapped herself into the deep seat with its strong black belts made of an unidentifiable material. Tora reached up and placed the thin metal probe on her forehead, grinning when she saw Hope's questioning look.

"Telepathic interface. Gives me micromanagement over things like speed and direction and automatically warns me of incoming threats."

The ship lifted up and out of the hanger with barely a sound. Hope snuggled further into the seat.

"Nathan said something I didn't understand."

"What?"

"It was when he'd come back and you helped him… Before he slipped into that sleep…"

"Yes?"

"He… He said something about… about… about Phoenix not being a threat to the Avengers but Dragon being their destroyer. Tora…?"

For Tora had stiffened and her lips had tightened.

"Tora?"

"I had to tell **someone**. It's been sitting so heavy in my heart for so long."

"Tell me."

"There are books of prophecies…true prophecies… The Shadow… Etana… Hope, what's wrong?"

For the girl was shivering.

"Nathan… He used to use her name as a curse… I…I think she was one of the few people who scared him…"

"That was his world. In this one… In this one, she was so much… She was a saviour to so many, so brave and strong. And she died for us all. But… she always knew so much… So much, all the time. And she had the Prophecies…"

"What prophecies?"

"The story of the world, written in a hand I know far too well."

"Whose?"

"My own. I am condemned by my own hand. 'Dragon shall destroy those who Avenge, and none may stand in her way.' Hope, do you **realise** what that means? I can't ever trust myself."

"Why does that prophecy have to come true?"

"Because everything else has. All of it. Including your coming. Hope, this conversation is recorded word for word in the books but…"

"But?"

"There's nothing about what happens next. That happens rarely, normally when something pivotal happens and I'm not supposed to know. Or don't know, which normally happens when I'm…you know, away or comatose or dead or something."

"Have you died often? And now I feel like an idiot for saying that."

Tora shrugged.

"Medically, I've died loads of times, by which I mean my heart has stopped beating, or I've suffered such trauma my body just shuts down. But properly? I can only really say I've given it a good shot once, but even that didn't quite work out. Death seems to have started ignoring me. So I just sort of…hovered… It was really rather boring."

Hope smiled sadly.

"Will…will that happen to me?"

Tora shrugged.

"It all depends."

"On what."

"On how much of a Phoenix you are."

"And what's **that** supposed to mean?"

"It's hard for me to explain. Dragon… It's kind of possessive. One person and one person only. And for some stupid reason, the scaly reptile chose me of all people. But the Phoenix… Basically, it flits from person to person as the situation demands. Some people… like Jean Grey… are closely tied… In fact, Jean is my equivalent. The One True Phoenix, the **only** true house of the Firebird. But you… I can't work you out…"

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"You look like her, you act like she would if she'd had your upbringing, you…you **feel** like her, but you aren't. Are you another One True Phoenix? Are you Jean reborn? Are you something completely different that I can't understand? I'm confused, Hope, and that's not normal."

The rest of the journey took place in uncomfortable silence.

* * *

><p>Phoenix blushed.<p>

"Look, I didn't have time to explain everything properly!"

"Well you **should** have! Then it maybe wouldn't have turned out so bad!"

"Well, if you weren't so secretive and insisted on doing everything your 'own way' then we wouldn't have got into that situation in the first place!"

Death placed a placating hand on their shoulders.

"Stop being so immature. You're primordial beings, you can't behave like Earth teenagers."

"We are NOT!"


	203. Mistakes

**Memories**

Mistakes

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Logan stood in silence, listening to Agent Brand's rant.

"And the ship represents some 3 **billion** dollars of research! And Dragon's gone and piloted it into an officially neutral territory! We can't go after her without causing fifty types of diplomatic scandal! She knows the way we operate, she knows all the codes and the safe places and she's heading right for the Moon!"

"The Moon! Why in **Hell** would she be going to the **Moon**!"

Logan had already seen Hank stiffen.

"You don't think…"

"Oh my stars and garters… They've gone back, haven't they?"

Steve was looking from one to the other.

"This is some X-Man thing, isn't it?"

Hank coughed.

"The Blue Area of the Moon is where the trial of the Phoenix took place. And where Tora became Dragon. Also, it's politically neutral. Tora's gone there to bring the Phoenix to Hope. She's hoping the old place will allow her to…channel all the old memories, ease the flow of power. She's smarter than we give her credit for."

Logan spoke softly.

"She'll have gone there for the memories. She says they strengthen her. Old memories, old emotions. They're like meat and drink to Dragon, and I think she's planning something big."

Hank looked at him.

"Okay, what's she planning?"

"I honestly don't know. She's been all secretive recently. She gets edgy when you mention Phoenix and…er…"

Steve smiled ruefully and rubbed his jaw.

"Yep, her right hook's still as potent as ever. Almost took my head off."

Logan shrugged.

"She's sorry for that. And she's going to be stubborn and refuse to speak to anyone for as long as she can."

"How's Scott taking things?"

"When I last checked, he was screaming horrific insults about Tora."

"Overreacting, as usual."

"Well, she **has** just kidnapped his granddaughter."

"I rather think Hope has voluntarily absconded with her. Tora isn't the type to kidnap people. She's always been dead against it."

They stood in awkward silence then Tony coughed, the sound oddly amplified through his armour's speakers.

"I take it we're going to stop her? I mean, she's doing what **none** of us want, not even the X-Men?"

Logan gave Tony a sharp glare, as if to remind the man that there were more than Utopian X-Men. Steve was talking quickly to Brand, planning a ship big enough to take most of the Avengers, including Tony's brand new armour. Logan wasn't too sure about that one. A Phoenix-Buster? Impossible. There was no **way** you could stop the Phoenix if it was determined. But maybe… If you managed to dissuade it…

And Logan fell into wondering what Tora was going to say when she saw him. If he was **lucky**, she'd only insult him in French for a few hours, then say that she was wrong… Who was he kidding? Tora never admitted she was wrong. She was stubborn and pig-headed about this. They both were. Aside from that two month silent treatment from shortly after they'd first met, she'd once managed to refuse to talk to him for three weeks, for swearing in front of Jamie. She really **was** stubborn… Hopefully though… Hopefully this time she'd come quietly… Hopefully….

* * *

><p>"He really <strong>was<strong> hoping a lot, wasn't he?"

"He was hoping for quite a while, wasn't he?"

"Well, it wasn't **entirely** her fault, was it?"

"I think it was a bit of everyone's."

"Why do you have to do that!?"

"Do what?"

"Be all reasonable and logical and smart!"

"Just because **you** don't have a filter between your brain and your mouth, doesn't mean everyone else is missing one."

"Oh, you are **so** annoying!"

"You too, Phoenix. You too."

"Is this some human thing?"

"Yes, Death. Of course. Just some human thing."

"Like popcorn?"

"Is that a hint?"

* * *

><p>Tora stood staring at the kneeling girl.<p>

"Are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to call the Phoenix. Then I'm going to channel it through me, into you."

"Will that hurt you?"

"A bit. But it won't hurt you as much. And I don't want you hurt."

"Thank you."

"_Pardon_?"

"You know. For always being there for me… In case… In case…"

"Nothing will go wrong. Just as long as no one interferes, we'll be fine."

Hope gulped then Tora raised her arms up.

"Stand still."

And she threw her head back, reaching out with Dragon. The swirling water encompassed Hope, blurring her sight and then she saw a burning orange fire shoot through the waves and into Tora, who was screaming as she lowered one hand towards Hope's head and there was something in her mind, like when she'd fought Bastion but instead of being calm and cool and ordered this was bright and burning and chaotic. But soothing, cooling, calming Tora was helping ease the pain. And then, in the corner of her eye, Hope saw the Avengers come running and Iron Man raise up his glove and shoot…

* * *

><p>"Oh… %&amp;$£!"<p>

"Eloquent, Jean. Very eloquent."

"Just because you have a four million word vocabulary…"

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>__Sorry it's not a long chapter today, but if I went onto the next segment, there's no real stopping point for a good 1000 words. Also, I love leaving you with evil cliffhangers._


	204. Fire and Water

**Memories**

Fire and Water

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

There was a vibrant explosion, waves and fire blossomed and then cleared away. And it was obvious something had gone terribly, horrendously wrong. Instead of a Phoenix and a Dragon, what stood there were two red-heads, hair flicking in non-existent wind. Both were dressed in the traditional style, only the uniform was turquoise instead of blue or green. The belts were bright electrum, neither gold or silver, but something in between. And then they spoke in unison.

"**Fools. You have forced together what cannot touch… Water and Fire, Past and Future, Order and Chaos, Knowledge and Thought, Preservation and Progression. You have destroyed us both**."

They blinked in unison, eyes no longer green or gold but the same electrum as the curious fusion of bird and reptile on their chests.

"**We were in control. The bonding was going perfectly. And now you have destroyed us. You have forced us to become two very different things. Soon our minds shall be torn to shreds by the fighting. FOOLS!**"

They moved in unison, back to back, so Tora –or what had been Tora at any rate– faced the X-Men and Hope –ditto to Tora– faced the Avengers. And they spoke, again in unison.

"**Manipulation and lies. How foolish of you. We are more than you will ever be. Even GODS fear us. We are the World Healers. And the World Ravagers. One of us once held both, but as Phoenix-Dragon. It is impossible to contain half of each after they have been meshed together. We are One and the One is ALL!**"

"SHOOT THEM AGAIN!"

The repulsor cannon fired again but Hope simply raised a hand and the beam ricocheted off. Tora's eyes were glowing as she faced Cyclops.

"**We were ready. We were ready to fight together, as we only did when the Little Phoenix was avatar, the Little Phoenix who is now part of the whole. Only you hurt us. Hurt us when we were at our weakest. But we can still save this… Do not try to stop us. Do not dare. We are going to heal this world. In the only way we can. Goodbye, little people. Do not try to stop us.**"

They raised their hands and rose slowly into the air, rotating around each other. And then they shot upwards, away from the Moon. Back to Earth. Leaving the Avengers and the X-Men both feeling pretty stupid. Tora normally handled everything perfectly. And then they'd gone and messed it up. Badly. And something told them that the Phoenix-Dragon-Hope-Tora-thing wasn't going to fix the world in an especially nice way. And then Hawkeye voiced everyone's thoughts.

"Well we all %&$#* up, didn't we?"

* * *

><p>Phoenix sighed.<p>

"Of course, the idiots had no **idea** what they'd unleashed. They just thought they'd created some extraordinarily powerful being. Not that they'd started playing havoc with the very fabric of the universe."

The masked host sighed.

"Tell me about it. Do you **know** how long I was trying to persuade the Tribunal that they didn't need eradicating for their presumption to attack a primal force?"

"Let me guess. At **least** three of his 'little sessions'?"

"Eight."

"I pity you."

* * *

><p>Logan watched the tape in horror. Pietro ran towards Utopia, then Tora was in front of him and her hands were clasping his head and he was slumped to the ground and when he rose, he too glittered with the ethereal electrum glow. This was happening to every mutant Tora or Hope met. They'd touch them and somehow… not quite take over, but… <strong>infuse<strong> with their powers and ideals and the mutant would follow them. Stark called it 'bodyjacking' which Hank had vehemently shot down, stating all the reasons it **wasn't** that 'dreadfully crude analogy'. Logan had been avoiding Tora. Utopia had fallen first. Magneto had went out and without a word, the women had placed their hands on his head and he was following them. When Cyclops and his team of Namor, Emma, Peter and Illanya returned, Hope was waiting to greet them. Logan, by some **miracle** hadn't gone to the school. Tora had been there and now his entire team and most of the students were also on Utopia, gleaming that curious infusion of gold and silver. Pietro… Why on **earth** had Pietro gone? No. Logan knew. Pietro was hoping he'd have the strength of mind to control the power, to stand against the Phoenix-Dragon. But Logan… At times, he still had the half-remembered dreams of the Shadow-Phoenix, when all he wanted to do was **burn**. Power like that… It would take a strong person to resist. Tora resisted because she didn't **want** power. To her, it was just an irritating method of fighting and an annoying voice that stated the obvious. And that's what made this change so terrifying. The telekinetic lifting of Utopia was just one little fraction of what she **could** do.

When Storm warped weather patterns on a global scale, everyone was terrified until they realised those areas with drought were getting rain and those flooded were finally getting a break in the continual downpours. Magneto stopped an earthquake from shattering the entire east coast of Japan. Food vanished from the huge reserves of richer countries and 'miraculously' appeared in the poorest areas. The drug fields of South America and Asia had been razed in a ball of fire. The whole world was changing, so fast that it scared too many. Information on corruption suddenly came rushing forward, dictators were imprisoned in their own mental hells, those with nothing suddenly found food and clothing and firewood. Tora and Hope seemed to be on a two-woman crusade to save the world by dragging it kicking and screaming into a new age of equality and kindness. But still… The sight of Tora, eyes gleaming as she tightened her grip on Eva's shoulder and the light flowed into the small body and even his daughter turned away from him horrified Logan.

And all he could see was Tora's face, still scarred but too close to Dark Dragon for comfort. The unearthly light made her face seem inhuman. It was too… It would have been better in a way if she **did** look like Dark Dragon. But instead… She was just that little bit too close to Tora to be inhuman and too powerful to be human. It **scared** him. It scared a lot of people. And then Steve came in, looking exhausted.

"We're getting a message from Utopia…"

The screen changed, revealing the Hope-Tora-Phoenix-Dragon duo standing deathly, surrounded by Magneto, Cyclops, White Queen, Namor, Magik, Storm, Colossus and others. They all glowed that ghostly colour, and their eyes were blank. Each was emblazoned with the electrum symbol, Phoenix wings with Dragon tail and head. And when Tora and Hope spoke, they did so in unison.

"**Avengers. You fight us. You threaten us. You send your people to attack us, when all we mean is good. We give our ultimatum. Twelve hours to turn yourselves in. We shall treat you well. But if you do not accept, we shall hunt you down, for your crimes against mutantkind.**"

Steve spluttered in outrage.

"What **crimes**?"

"**The crimes of standing back and let us be killed. We speak in the voice of Emma Frost, when you fought amongst yourselves. 'Where were the Avengers when Genosha burned? Where were you when our babies were dying?' We needed you. We needed your support. But you always said 'Mutant problem, mutant solution.' But when the world was threatened, you relied on us for help. 'Human problem, mutant solution.' You have used us then abandoned us. Picked us up then cast us aside. It was your meddling that caused the Scarlet Witch to change reality. You forced us to the brink of extinction and just as we seek to pull ourselves back out of this pit of your creation, you try and force us back in. Twelve hours. No more, no less. Choose wisely.**"

The screen went blank and Logan collapsed into his seat.

"I see why she always asked me that question now…"

"What question?"

Logan looked up, his eyes suddenly revealing his true age.

"Every morning… Every morning, she'd looked me in the eye and ask if I was ready. I… It took me a while to realise exactly what she meant."

"What did she mean?"

"She was asking if I would be able to kill her. You know how that feels? Every day, your wife asks if you'd be able to do what needs to be done if she loses control… if something like **this** happens…"

"She thought…"

"She feared. Big difference. Look… something hasn't been right with Tora for a while. We made a breakthrough a little back…thought we'd gone through the worst…but then she gets kidnapped and we lose it all. Back to square one and then back a few more steps. She's losing control and we all know it. This? This is just a result of that."

Steve sat backwards, his face drawn.

"And you didn't tell us, why?"

"Like she said. Mutant problems, mutant solutions. We've kept ourselves to ourselves for so long –scared of tarring the rest of you with the same brush. We've always had the most experience with the Phoenix, so when Dragon came along, we thought we knew what we were doing. We didn't have a clue. It was like saying we knew how to control fire, so we could also control the sea. Tell me honestly, Steve, what are you more afraid of? Wildfire or floods?"

And he could see the fear in Steve's eyes. The fear of falling into an icy sea, something he'd never quite shake off. Fire… Fire could be controlled… Fire was **useful**. But water was essential and uncontrollable. Water could wear away stone and change landscapes given enough time. And nothing was more terrifying than a flash flood, suddenly overpowering an entire area. Logan looked back at the blank screen.

"What are you planning to do?"

Steve pinched the bridge of his nose, suddenly looking exhausted.

"Everything they said… It's true, you know. We always have left the mutant problems alone. Let the X-Men deal with it. Onslaught… that was a last minute attempt. We only came in because we knew you couldn't fight him anymore. We've let you suffer and never done enough for you. For pity's sake, we even once considered an anti-mutant campaigner for the Avengers! We've let you be hurt and never come out on your side, even when we should have!"

"Steve, no one **asked** you to!"

"Tora did."

"What?"

"Just after M-Day… Tora came to me and begged for help in getting depowered mutants to safe havens now they'd lost their powers. I told her to trust the X-Men, even when it was clear you were already overstretched. She actually went on her knees to beg, Logan. She was just kneeling there, begging me to get the Avengers to help save mutantkind and I told her to stick with the X-Men."

* * *

><p>"How <strong>stupid<strong> can you get?!"

"Be nice, Jean. Be nice."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N.<strong> Happy Hogmany, everyone. (That's New Year's Eve to those who aren't Scottish). Sorry about the gap but I've been away with no internet access. Also, I'm still having a bit of trouble writing this section. I had an ending for this but I don't think it works out very well._


	205. Consequences

**Memories**

Consequences

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

_She fell to the ground and Iron Man's repulsors fired up._

"_I don't want to kill you but time and time again you've proved too dangerous to live. We can't keep you prisoner, every time we try you break out and kill whoever gets in your way."_

_She smirked at him._

"_Go on. Shoot me."_

_The beam drove towards her face but she vanished in a green light. Loki leant back into the chair._

"_You really are relying much too heavily on me. There's nothing in the contract about me __**leaving**__ you to die."_

_She smiled._

"_Yes, nothing in the __**contract**__. But I've read up on my Norse mythology. Gods can get a bit protective of their mortal lovers, can't they?"_

_He gave her his 'God of Lies' smirk._

"_Yes, Iron Man __**is**__ right now fighting off any number of magical constructs but I would be capable of leaving you at any moment I feel like it."_

_She laughed at that._

"_Come on Loki. We both know there's something more than a physically attractive partner or satisfaction. I could delve into any of the other minds if I wanted and you're a god. There's got to be easier and less irritating mortals you could make your lover than a woman with almost all of Midgardian security services after her."_

_He shrugged._

"_But that's part of the charm. You always run rings around them. Well done on your defeat of the X-Men by the way."_

_She collapsed into a chair._

"_Was I too hard on them?"_

"_Of course not. Seriously, the X-Men are made of rubber. You hit them and they just bounce back into shape. Leaving them abandoned on the top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere isn't too bad. Comparatively. When you consider some of the stuff that's happened to them."_

_The corners of her lips twitched up._

"_You know how to make me feel less guilty. Are you lying or just being nice?"_

"_Would you be able to tell either way?"_

_She shook her head._

"_You know Loki, you're the only person I've met who I can't get into their head. Everyone else is an open book. I can see their wants and fears and petty worries but you… You're locked off."_

_And then he was in front of her, the green eyes glimmering in the low light._

"_And you __**like**__ that, don't you?"_

"_Loki, you do know I have a meeting with Elektra to talk about Hand funding in about ten minutes?"_

"_Reschedule it."_

"_Loki…"_

"_You're their leader. They listen to you. Reschedule it."_

_She shook her head._

"_Loki…"_

"_Reschedule it or I'll make sure __**no one**__ can enter or leave this room until I'm ready to lift the spell."_

_She raised an eyebrow._

"_I really should remind you about the little piece of tech that makes you mortal."_

"_Will you really use it?"_

"_No."_

_She reached out and picked up a small phone._

"_Tell Elektra I won't be able to meet with her today. The Avengers managed to surprise me."_

_Loki smirked when she put the phone down._

"_You really are incredibly easy to manipulate."_

_She reached out for the phone again but he grabbed her hand, his fingers icy cold._

"_Ah, ah, ah. You can't go about changing your orders. It makes you look indecisive."_

"_I hate you."_

"_I hate you too."_

_And they kissed._

xXx

_He looked up at her._

"_Tora?"_

"_Logan."_

_The ice in her voice was obvious. He stared at her wedding ring._

"_We never got a divorce… So how are you married? Cos that ain't the ring I gave you."_

"_Our marriage was annulled. It never even existed. You married me under a false name."_

"_What about Jamie?"_

"_He's safe. Away from everyone who will ever try to hurt him because of who his genetic father is."_

"_Are you implying I'm not his father?"_

"_You aren't. He considers my husband his father."_

"_So who did you end up with?"_

"_I'm only here for the information. This isn't some nice little get back together meeting."_

"_I heard you died."_

"_I wanted out. Dying seemed to be the best way to go about it."_

"_Out of curiosity… How long were you spying for?"_

"_Since the beginning."_

"_That long huh? Looks like Warren was right from the very start. How did you manage to kill him?"_

"_I simply pretended I was fed up with you cheating and wanted to get back at you. It was too easy. The information."_

"_Fine. Here it is. All the data on Apocalypse's back-up, in case he was ever assassinated. I stole them. We were never going to bring him back. The idea of the empire was sound but he wasn't."_

"_You are saying a system that condoned genocide, slave labour and inhumane genetic experimentation was sound?!"_

"_Yes."_

"_You disgust me."_

_She snatched up the drive and stood, only to freeze as he caught her arm, the part of her that had been conditioned for spying and the three years spent under Apocalypse's rule preventing her from attempting to stab him. He was inhaling deeply, getting the scents on her._

"_Elf!? You actually married Elf?!"_

"_And?"_

"_What's he got over me?"_

"_I don't know… A speck of humanity, maybe? Or maybe he doesn't just take all the time! Now, Get. Off. Me!"_

_She twisted her arm around and stalked out, handing the tiny flash drive to Etana._

"_You never call on me again. Understand?"_

"_Social visits only."_

_Tora nodded then walked towards the transport that was going to take her home._

xXx

_Tora looked up then looked away once more. Logan's face fell. When she spoke, there was an oddly cold ring to it._

"_Let me guess. You messed up and now you want me to come and sort it all out for you."_

"_Tora… I'm sorry… But…"_

"_Tony shot the Phoenix Force and now instead of Hope, who had a chance of controlling it, you've got five people with barely any telepathic training, bar Emma, who are suddenly immensely powerful and being controlled by a primal force. Great work, Logan. Good going, keep it up."_

"_Tora…"_

"_And when I went off to try and stop this, you go and arrest me. You made this bed, you lie in it."_

"_But…"_

"_Go away, Logan. I could have fixed this. But no, you knew best. Just…push off…"_

"_They've declared war on the Avengers…"_

"_They deserve it. What happened to 'X-Men first'? You've betrayed your family, Logan. You've betrayed the people who took us both in, when everyone else said we were psycho or unstable or just animals. I hope you're proud, Logan."_

_And she turned her face away. Logan reached out._

"_Please. Don't make me beg."_

"_I begged you, didn't I? I begged you to let me deal with it, but you didn't listen. Now, goodbye."_

xXx

_Tora looked up from her book as the shadow blocked the light, then bowed her head._

"_You have come for me."_

"_You know us?"_

"_Why are you doing this? I have never done you any harm."_

"_You shall."_

_She stared up at him._

"_Steve… Let me… Let me say goodbye."_

"_No."_

"_Then…" She raised her pen, "Let me write one last thing for my children."_

"_Fine. But if it implements us in any way, innocents will be destroyed."_

"_I know."_

_She leant forward and wrote a few short sentences._

"_Read it."_

"_To my children, in the hope they one day read this, let them know I was always proud of you and my love for you cannot be destroyed, even by death. Maman."_

"_Good. Now…"_

"_I will not kneel for an execution. I shall die standing."_

_She rose, staring up into his face._

"_Just get it over with."_

_She staggered when a button was pressed, grasping her head with her hands. Staggered but remained upright, staring direct into his eyes. And then she collapsed, like someone had cut the strings out from under her. Captain America brought the radio to his mouth._

"_Iron Man, Dragon is terminated. I repeat, Dragon is terminated. Initiate reality jump."_

_And he faded out. Downstairs, voices rang out._

"_Captain! Tora? Ah yes, she's upstairs. I'll take you to her? No, not by the stairs, that way's boring. Hold on now. Allez-Oop!"_

_Brimstone stench filled the room and then two voices cried out in denial. Voices shouting._

"_I'll get Hank! Captain, try and revive her!"_

"_Go!"_

_Hands checking pulse, breath, desperate. Steve Rogers trying to undo what –in a way –he had done._

xXx

_She had decided to stick around. Just to make sure things went okay. The conversation with the Malach Hamavet had been very…interesting, to say the least. Tora stopped at the closed door and tried to touch the pad. Her hand brushed it but she couldn't apply pressure. She sighed. She'd hoped not to do this. Her consciousness dissipated and she slid through the door, reforming on the other side._

_Kurt was coiled up in a corner, deliberately not looking at the mangled mess of blood and metal than Tora had spent the last twenty-six years inhabiting. Logan was standing over her, eyes unreadable. Curt's head was tilted downwards, Poison covering his whole body. Jamie and Eva were pulling on Logan's legs, trying to get him to respond. Scott seemed unable to look anywhere but at the blooded face. Tora watched and then the door opened and Laura ran in._

"_Is it true?! It isn't true! It…"_

_And then she collapsed down to her knees._

"_No… No…"_

_Tora tried to reach out to touch her but there was something preventing her from getting too close. Scott looked up._

"_We need to arrange the funeral."_

"_What?!"_

_Kurt's empty eyes looked up from the corner._

"_Yes. Because Bastion will attack again. We have to be prepared. But if… We should have given Tora the proper service first… She'd do the same for us."_

_They all looked back._

"_How though? How did he manage that?"_

"_Who? What?"_

"_How did Bastion kill her? Come on, we all remember the first time we fought him! Tora was laughing her head off! She tore him to shreds! So what was different? What made her lose focus? For pity's sake, why did he go after her?! He's never gone for Tora before! Not like that!"_

_Curt's mask slid back._

"_Isn't it obvious?! She's his biggest threat now! Before she was just a good fighter. Insignificant compared to Storm or Phoenix! And now she's Dragon and she could tear him to atoms, if they'd been fighting where she didn't have to worry about civilians!"_

"_What?"_

"_Haven't you seen the videos? There are about twenty already on the net. She was doing fine then she panicked when she heard a kid scream."_

"_Videos?"_

_Curt's head dropped._

"_Yeah. People record these fights. And when Maman was…was killed… They couldn't wait to upload them."_

_Everyone stopped moving. Then Logan started swearing._

"_Those sick £$%*& ! SHE'S DEAD AND ALL THEY DO IS SHOW HER DYING! FOR AMUSEMENT!?"_

_Scott was typing in a computer then looked up._

"_That's not the worst of it."_

"_What?"_

"_The comments are all on the lines of good riddance and genetic scum. We're alone."_

"_No."_

_Curt had looked up._

"_Not quite."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Maman… Do you think he could just kill Maman? Maman is too powerful! We've all thought people like Thor and Cap were dead! So why can't Maman be alive!"_

_Logan rested his hand on Curt's shoulder._

"_Look at her kid. Look at her. She's dead. I hate it just as much as you do, but she'd dead!"_

_And Kurt suddenly vanished. Scott turned and swore._

"_Who cleared Kurt when he came in? What's his mental state?"_

_Logan laughed coldly._

"_I can tell you his mental state right now. He's just had one of his oldest friends die in his arms. He's going to be &*$£% up!"_

_And Tora winced as suddenly she felt herself being pulled away from her family and body and was at Kurt's side. The man was rocking back and forth, crying softly, pulling his arms around his knees. The other X-Men came running shortly but he waved them away. Tora knelt –or something and reached out. Oddly, the force that had repelled her from Laura didn't prevent her nearing Kurt. A soft hand gently touched his forehead but he didn't react, not even when she pressed her lips to his forehead. She held him in arms that didn't exist, not anymore. And when the X-Men came running, she remained close to him. Remained close and felt the stab of guilt when Xixy –still wearing the traditional deep mourning garb of K'Meeri serf classes- pronounced Kurt Makrrrst. She had never meant… never dreamt… She would never have done so if she hadn't known…_

_And then she made her choice. She would stay here, in this ghostly half-life on the astral plane, to protect her family and wait for Kurt to join her. There would be no joy in the Afterlife without him._

* * *

><p>Phoenix sighed.<p>

"She really was losing it, wasn't she?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Sorry about the huge delay. But I had loads of homework, a rotten cold (which has now developed into a chest infection that I'm taking industrial-strength antibiotics for) and revision to do. From now on, updates will be incredibly sporadic as I have important end-of-unit tests all through January, prelim exams in February and all my exams in a two week period in June. Then I have all sorts of applications to sort out. So I'm sincerely hoping I'll finish this before too long else I'll have to put it on hold for an indefinite period._


	206. Flee From Her

**Memories**

Flee From Her

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

The voices echoed out across the world, amplified and echoing.

"**You have failed to give yourselves up.**"_**Up. Up. Up.**_

"**Now we shall come for you.**" _**You. You. You.**_

Twenty minutes later, Cage was in custody. Frost and Cyclops had captured him as he tried to get his wife and daughter to safety. Daredevil was taken down by Psylocke and the other Circen. When Logan had last heard, Iron Man was going toe-to-toe with the cosmic entity-enhanced Magneto and losing badly. Steve… No one quite knew where Steve had vanished to, only that he was determined to 'find the only chance we have'. They were scattering across the globe, trying desperately to get to some measure of safety. Storm and Thor had gone toe-to-toe again, only this time lightning had beaten thunder. The Black Panther had gone to try and reason with his wife. When he'd last been seen, it was being blasted down a corridor by a hurricane-force wind. And Tora… Oddly, neither Tora **or** Hope had left Utopia. They seemed content to send the X-Men out, waiting for the Avengers to be taken to the Brig, then holding them on 'trial', stating in those monotone stereo voices all the crimes they had committed against mutantkind. From Cage 'failing to defend those of District X' to Daredevil's 'continued ignoring of the plight of the Marys.' He felt his identicard buzz. Iron Man was down. Strange was being attacked by Illyana. The Avengers Academy…

And that was when Logan knew that Tora wasn't in control anymore. Tora would **never** attack a school. Laura had got a message to him, coded and almost desperate. The X-Men were attacking, trying to destroy the reprogrammed Sentinel. The **last** Sentinel. And while Logan didn't really have a problem with the every last stupid robot being wiped from the face of the earth but forcing a teenager to give up his friend…from what Laura said, almost his **only** friend, without giving him the benefit of the doubt… Tora's mind was probably shattered.

Suddenly he wondered what would happen if he entered Tora's mind. And then he imagined it. The clear ceiling would be dark, so no light would illuminate the gleaming crystal, shattering into a vibrant spectrum impossible colours when shining through one of the galleries. Instead it would be distant and dark. The silence and emptiness of a closed museum. So wrong and cold. He shuddered, then remembered he had to keep on moving. Mutants were at risk, more than anyone. And then he heard a coughing and remembered the person he was hiding with.

"You okay, Maximoff?"

The Scarlet Witch nodded. She looked freezing. Her eyes were tired and she seemed barely able to stand.

"I…just need…warmth…"

They walked for a bit longer and Logan finally gave out a small bark of pleasure, pointing the cabin.

"There!"

They staggered into it and pulled off their snow-covered outer layers. Wanda had been forced to move them blind, and it had only been sheer luck that they'd landed relatively close to one of Logan's old huts in Canada. The trek had taken five hours, through the cold and damp forest and the Scarlet Witch had already been exhausted after moving them so far. She was stumbling and staggering and more than once, Logan had to support her. He still didn't like her. He couldn't quite forgive or forget what she'd done. But Tora trusted her, and that was enough for him. Tora was normally exceptionally good at gauging people. It was all to do with body language and reading micro-expressions.

Logan lit a fire and opened the cupboards, pleased to notice that the freeze-dried food hadn't been got at by animals. He threw Wanda a pack of dried fruit, knowing he'd have to save the other food for later. She tore into it hungrily but Logan resisted the urge to eat as well. After all, he'd been worse. Wanda looked up, exhausted.

"That's not her, is it? It can't be her. Because she'd never do anything like that."

Logan shrugged as he sat down.

"She's not been the best for a while. I think this was just the thing that pushed her over the edge."

Wanda whirled the packing between her fingers.

"She feels…**wrong**…"

"What?"

"The pair of them… They feel **wrong**. Like… Cold fire… Warm ice… An impossibility… What has Tony **done**…?"

She buried her face in her hands.

"I'm scared for her. She seemed so **fragile**… So different from when we first got to know each other properly…"

"When was this?"

"We… We met when we were at one of Beast's scans. Got chatting, agreed to meet up. We ended up meeting regularly. And later… after they made me forget… When Tora was so upset about Curt's loss… I… I don't know… I felt I understood her pain, more than anyone possibly could. It felt like someone had torn into me and all I could do was try and be there for her. But she was so distant that any attempt to get in… I couldn't help her and at the same time it felt like I was drowning."

She hung her head.

"I'm a terrible friend. She saves me so many times… tries to speak up for me… puts so much on the line for me… And I can't even help her…"

Logan laughed bitterly.

"How do you think I feel? Who's the X-Man who gets sent to deal with all those who go out of control? Like I said to Hope once. A guy can get tired of wiping his friends off his fists. And when it's your wife…"

He tailed off, looking away sadly. Wanda avoided eye contact. They sat in awkward silence for a moment then leapt up as something tapped the window. Then they relaxed when it turned out to just be branches. Until the tapping took on a rhythm, like a heartbeat over and over again. Logan finally slid out carefully and froze as the ferns rose up and took a form.

"Can… Can you hear me?"

"Cia! What the…!?"

"She knows you're here. She's coming."

"What about you?"

"Me and Krakoa are lying low. Who noticed the grounds or a few trees? Have to go… Hard keeping…strength up…"

And the ferns fell back to their usual shape with a little sigh. Logan didn't have time to check if the plant girl was okay, merely rushing into the cabin.

"We have to get out **now**!"

"What?! What's wrong?!"

"Tora's coming, that's what! Get your stuff and go!"

They descended into panic but as they were running out, they heard the voice on the wind and the figure already landing gracefully, walking towards them.

"**Why did you run**?"

Logan took a step back.

"**Why did you leave us?**"

"Tora…"

"**You should have been the first to come to our side.**"

"Stay back…"

But Wanda was walking forward, transfixed by the glow. And then Tora's hand snaked forward and grabbed her wrist. Electrum and red lightshows shone around their wrists and then Wanda pushed her other hand into Tora's chest, sending her flying. Tora twisted in the air and landed cat-like, tilting her head at Wanda.

"**You dare refuse us? You are the Third. You should stand by us. Together we are invincible.**"

"I don't think I want to."

"**You hurt us. How?**"

And now there were red sparks flying around Wanda.

"I suppose I'm just too stubborn."

"**As the Trinity, none could stand in our way. Join us. Or be killed.**"

Logan's blood ran cold. The way Tora said that… It wasn't in the heavy tone she'd used when she threatened death before. Instead it was spoken in an offhand manner. Like murder was an acceptable method of retaining power.

Wanda's eyes were flashing.

"I'm not afraid of you."

"**You should be**."

And flames blossomed and waves crashed and Wanda was in the centre of the maelstrom but to Logan's amazement, she simply waved a hand and the vortex dissipated, red blades of light shattering through all the combined heat and water. What followed was one of the most hopeless feelings in Logan's life. Tora and Wanda were flinging fire and water and light at each other. When Wanda moved one hand, a glass wall surrounded Tora and Tora simply superheated the glass until it melted. When Tora sent out a huge stream of water at Wanda, a simple gesture froze it to ice. And all Logan could do was watch as the two women battled back and forth, light and fire and water blasting the trees over and scorching the soil. And then Tora turned towards him and lunged and he felt her hand close around his arm. And he was lost…

* * *

><p>"Oh, the poor dear…"<p>

"Death, I don't think Logan qualified for 'poor dear' since he was twelve."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>I hate colds. I hate them with every ounce of my poor, phlegm-filled body. I hate having coughing fits every five minutes and semi-deafness from the ear infection. I hate sleeping until 11 because it makes me feel guilty. I hate the fact my brain seems to have stopped working and now thinks daytime TV is high quality entertainment. Basically, this is my excuse for not updating -I've been doped up on decongestant, cough mixture and antibiotics._


	207. Sacrificial

**Memories**

Sacrificial

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Logan felt himself surface and groaned. Another groan was heard a few feet to his left. He raised his head and felt a cold fist of dread clasp around his heart. Wanda was lying spread-eagled over the fallen leaves, blood blossoming in huge patches across the tears in her red costume. Tears that came in groups of three, not four. Logan forced himself up and hurried over to her, inhaling deeply to ensure she was still alive. She was but only just. Pressing his hands to the worst cuts, right across her stomach, he was relieved to see her eyes flutter open for the briefest of seconds.

"Why didn't you just blast me, you idiot?"

The slightest of smiles caused Wanda's lips to twitch upwards.

"Tora…never for…give for…hurting…you…"

"Can we go back to when I tried to kill you?"

"She…was…pret…ty mad…"

"Like you wouldn't believe. I kept thinking she'd try to kill me when she woke up. Instead she just gave me a 'we need to talk' look."

Wanda's eyes were flickering closed again. Logan increased the pressure.

"Keep those eyes open! You stay right here, right now!"

"I… I think… I think she…wanted me…safe…because…she let you…go…"

"Well, let's leave this interesting discussion until we get some help."

"There…isn't…any…"

"What?"

"She…told me… We're…the last…"

"The last what?"

He already knew. He just couldn't believe it.

"The last…Avengers…"

"No. Not possible… There have to be others…"

"There…aren't…any…"

"Then how am I supposed to help you!"

And then he heard voices.

"Look, I **know** they're here. Don't ask me how… Dad!"

And Curt sprinted towards him, the rest of the Young Avengers following behind. Wiccan let out a hoarse cry when he saw the Scarlet Witch lying spread-eagled and was soon kneeling beside her, whispering the same words over and over again. _I want her to heal. I want her to heal._

And Logan felt eyes burning accusingly into the back of his neck. Before he could speak up to defend himself, Curt spoke up.

"It wasn't him, okay? It was… It was the creepy possession thing."

He glanced at Logan.

"Look, it's difficult to explain but… I can sort of **feel** Maman right now. She's burning and freezing and so scared… Dad, she's trying desperately to take control. But it's like she's been buried under an avalanche. She can't get out."

Hulking was nursing what looked like a few bad cuts. Stature had a black eye and Hawkeye had an electrical burn across her bare shoulder. They noticed him looking at them.

"We had a run in with some of the X-Men. We only just got away."

Then Wanda sat up slowly, the only blood still there drying and the rips only in cloth, not flesh. She still **looked** awful, pale and weak but she wasn't dead or dying. That was a plus. Logan pointed at Speed, Wiccan and Curt.

"How have you guys avoided her?"

Wiccan blushed.

"As soon as anyone arrives, we teleport away. I've taken to using _I want to be somewhere safe_. It's easier."

Logan suddenly snapped his fingers.

"Got it. Wiccan, we need to get back to the school."

"WHAT! Wolverine, the place is swarming with controlled mutants!"

"Listen. I need you to get to the school, third sub-level-"

"There isn't a third sub-level, Dad!"

"Yes there is, it's only the Senior staff who know about it. Third sub-level. It's twenty metres underground, directly under the school. Can you get us there?"

Wiccan gulped but raised his hands and started speaking. They were soon in a dark corridor and Logan hurried the few metres to what looked like a blank wall.

"Z'noxx Protocol. James Howlett, Wolverine."

The wall slid open and he hustled them into the small room. They looked around in amazement as he turned.

"Enclose. No entry to any senior staff, lock in and out."

The doors closed and the cold blue lights gave the place an eerie feel. Curt glanced round.

"What's this, Dad? I don't remember this being in the plans?"

"This is the Z'noxx Chamber. Totally psi-proof, lined with adamantium and can only be accessed by eight people. Unfortunately, the rest of them are all under that...**thing's** control. There's failsafes and the fact the room only opens to voice commands, a retina scan and a psi-scan. Any slight changes in usual thought patterns, the room refuses to open. It was meant as a secure holding cell for powerful telepaths or as a safehouse for students."

Curt ran his fingers over the wall.

"What if we trap Maman in here? She won't be able to reach the others and we can keep her here indefinitely."

Logan stared at Curt for a moment, then sighed.

"You really don't get it, do you? She knows about this room. She wouldn't be stupid enough to come here. This is just a stop-gap solution to remain safe while… while we plan how to deal with this."

Curt pressed his fingers to his head.

"Dad… I have to go…"

"What?!"

"She can sense me. I have to go. I'm putting you all in danger."

"No. I'm not letting you go."

Curt smiled sadly then turned to the door.

"Let me out. She's coming for me. She won't stop until she's got me. Dad, you have to let me out."

"I'm not letting you go out there!"

"Dad. You always told me that there's more to life than surviving. That the best we can do is be like Uncle Kurt. You named me after him. So let me do what he would do. Let me leave."

Logan choked back his argument then nodded.

"Open."

The door slide open long enough for Curt to slip past and then closed.

"Clear."

The wall seemed to melt away and they could see Curt standing slumped, facing down the corridor. He glanced back and his face was so mournful before Poison slid over his face and he looked back.

And then Tora and Hope were walking towards him, heads tilted to one side.

"**Little One. Come to us.**"

"No."

"**Our son. Little Dragon. Come to us.**"

"No."

And they pounced and placed their hands on Curt's shoulders. He fell to his knees and howled in pain but appeared to be trying to fight it. And then, as Logan could only look on helplessly, the glow infused him and he rose, his head raising and then the echoing voice.

"I will come."

"**Wait. Where are the others?**"

Those hiding in the room glanced at each other in horror. Then Curt spoke slowly and carefully.

"There are no others. I left them, when I thought you were coming for me**.**"

Tora's face split into that proud smile she had worn at her children's first words; their first steps; when she'd stood in the shadows and watched Curt and Jubilee standing together, heads lowered as they whispered to each other.

"**You were always such a bad liar. And so protective.**"

She turned to the glass and smiled.

"**So…predictable. Logan, I'm disappointed.**"

She walked forward and then when she spoke, the eerie resonance had gone.

"Z'noxx Protocol. Marie Circen. Dragon."

The door slid open and she smiled as she saw the assembled Young Avengers and the two adults standing between her and them.

"**Too predictable.**"

She walked forward, reaching for Logan and then her outstretched fingers passed right through him and the door slid shut behind her. The crouched bodies faded out and Tora turned around slightly then started laughing slightly.

"**Oh, good. Very good. I should have known…**"

Logan stared down at the screen, his eyes expressionless. Wanda rested one hand on his shoulder.

"We'll fix this. I promise. At the moment, all we can do is hope that she'll be held for long enough."

Logan smiled weakly.

"That place was built to withstand Dark Phoenix. It should last for at least a few…minutes?"

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah."

She grasped his shoulder tighter and they were gone.

* * *

><p>"How…Tora-ish of Curt!"<p>

"Oh, Phoenix dear, please stop calling him that. He was his own person."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N.<strong> Sorry about the huge delay but I'm in the middle of some of the most important exams in my life. Normal service will resume after I've finished them._


	208. Trinity

Memories

Trinity

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Tora didn't move, instead sitting calmly in the centre of the room. She was the spinning centre of the universe, a gyroscope on a string. Then, slowly, ever so slowly, her fingers began tracing large circular shapes on the floor, leaving gleaming lines of electrum light. Her body started to sway with the movements and she started to sing from the back of her throat, a simply scale, up and down then back up again. Gradually a pattern began to emerge, light peeking through the non-existent cracks in the floor she was tracing. Interlocking lines, interlocking circles. The oldest of formulas. Circles within circles, some letters, others whole words. And then she finished and the light leapt up around her and she faded out, appearing outside in the matching circle Hope had conjured up. She rose swiftly and turned away.

"**The Third is planning something.**"

"**Isn't it always?**"

Silence. They were too alike, too close, interwoven and lost in the deepness of the other's personality. They were drowning and neither could pull themselves out. Hope had taken to periods of quiet introspection whilst Tora had started fierily rushing into things. Their very selves were bleeding out and soon…soon there would be no Tora or Hope, only a ToraHope amalgamation. Which would eventually be consumed by the PhoenixDragon which in turn would destroy itself. There was little hope for them. They would lose themselves in the wide wide ocean of power. A part of her –a part so small and coiled and afraid that it almost wasn't there- kept screaming and screaming and screaming. Then she turned and swiftly walked forward, her hair swaying from side to side. She was so **tired**. She just wanted to fall to the ground and sleep for a thousand years. Maybe she would… when all was good. They had almost completed their work. The last of the irrigation and water channels had been laid. She reached out for Magik, who was in Kenya.

**_The final improvements of Kibera are complete._**

**_Show us._**

The image that flashed across her mind was a series of small houses but laid out in a neat pattern and built of stone or brick, not mud and wood. She reached out and all across the globe, images like that appeared –slums turned into decent housing, wells of fresh water dug in every settlement. This world was almost healed. Equality was coming and people were **scared**. Anything that upset the status quo did that. But she was **healing** everything! Couldn't they see that? No, all they saw was their chances to manipulate and take advantage of those worse off than themselves was being lost. She felt Angel and Shadowcat reach out.

**_We have found a depositary of stolen funds in a number of accounts. We are rewiring the money back to those it was taken from._**

Everything was proceeding just as planned.

But there was a quiet little voice of discontent. There was something **important** they were supposed to be doing. Something they **had** to do? What was it…?

* * *

><p>"Oh, that always happens."<p>

"Jean, please stop the gross exaggeration."

* * *

><p>"Right, we have the plan. No impaling with extreme prejudice, no backstabbing and <strong>no swearing<strong>."

Logan sighed then nodded.

"Deal. No behaving in any way that could do anything to make Tora less suspicious."

"We need her to worry. We need them both to **come**, not send envoys."

"I **know** the plan. Luckily, Tora knows all about the Mojo fiasco. So, you ready?"

"Of course."

Logan pointed at the Young Avengers.

"You kids stay here. Stay safe, stay down, keep out of sight."

"But…"

"Do it."

"Okaayy…"

"Is that the same 'okaayy' as the 'okaayy we won't go looking for the Scarlet Witch' okaayy?"

"Nooo…"

"And was that the same as the "noo, of course we wouldn't go after the Scarlet Witch' no?"

"Billy, he's on to us."

"I'm a teacher. I also have to put up with Curt and Jubes. So, you **will** stay here, else I will do something inventive with the Danger Room."

Speed stuck up his hand.

"We aren't your students. You can't do that."

"He's Wolverine. He does what he wants."

Wanda started moving her hands.

"I'm ready."

Logan stood beside her and they faded out. Tommy immediately ran forward then crashed into an invisible wall, which rippled red. He swore.

"They were onto us!"

* * *

><p>"Ah, your best ever playpen for children."<p>

"They were sixteen."

"Compared to us, they are babes."

"In that case, so was Logan."

"You know, you really always have to be an insufferable know-it-all, don't you?"

"It's kind of in the job description, Jean."

* * *

><p>He ran as fast as he could, hearing the soft rustle as Tora followed him. Then he felt a clasp like iron on his arm and turned.<p>

Her head was tilted sideways, her lips slightly parted and an odd look in her eyes.

"**Don't you remember…? The days when we could take each other's breath away? With just…one…kiss?**"

Logan staggered as he felt the flood of memories, **Tora's** memories, of events long past. Her emotions, amplified and enhanced until they were almost excruciating in intensity. He screamed and he felt her…concern?

"**Do not be scared. This is what you are capable of. All this…**"

He felt himself collapse to his knees. Wanda, now would be a good time!

"**Tora was born to love you.**"

He felt his heart sink. Tora had said that once. Laughing as she wrapped her arms around his neck. But she'd been quoting the music playing at the time, her eyes sparking with love and that quiet humour.

"**Now give us the Phoenix Gun!**"

And then there were the quiet words.

"By the Trinity of the Phoenix, the Dragon and the Other Whose Name Cannot Be Spoken, I command you to leave him."

Ah, Wanda had arrived. And then there was the relief of no more burning emotions in his head. He opened his eyes in time to see the red light burning so brightly he had to close them again and still the afterimage was burning in his eyes.

"You told me I wouldn't be ready until I knew. And now I know."

There was the sharp hiss that Tora made when angry, and Wanda spoke again.

"I am not Earth or Air but Ether, through which everything must pass. I am not Thought, which can be wrong; or Knowledge which is heartless. I am **Soul**. I am the Moment. I am… I am the Third. I am the Qilin, the Griffin. And I am Everything."

Logan opened his eyes and immediately realised what had happened. The light had blinded him, for which he was both thankful and incredibly mad about.

"**You may know your name but you have no power.**"

"Really?"

There was a whistling wind rushing past his face and he tried to lever himself upright but a weight pushed down on his back and he couldn't tell if it was Tora or Wanda. He didn't struggle.

"Come on, Tora."

"**That name is no longer my own.**"

"Oh, I know. So **get out of my friend**!"

He heard a quick exhale of air and a slight crunch. Tora had been thrown by the sound of it. He pulled himself to one side, inhaling. There was blood in the air. First blood. Tora's blood. Then another voice. Hope had joined the fight.

"**You have made your last mistake, Griffin.**"

"No. I **haven't**. Because you can't kill me. If you do, there's no **now**. So get back, get out!"

Then, even through Logan's blindness, he saw the fire blossom and red light gleam through some part of his eye not totally blinded and then he heard a thud and the steady sound of a body being dragged along the ground. Please don't be Maximoff, please don't be Maximoff, please don't be Maximoff…

"Logan, are you okay?"

"I can't see…"

"Is that better?"

Her cool hand touched the side of his head and he could suddenly see. He blinked a few times. Wanda had barely changed, not in the way Tora and Jean had changed. She was still in red but pink tights and top were now gleaming copper and a small clasp on her cloak in the shape of a griffin. She'd kept the red headdress. She noticed the look on his face.

"The Griffin likes understatement. Look, it's kind of odd. If Tora puts up with this on a daily basis, then I'm amazed she hasn't gone insane."

"She says the voices quiet down after a while…"

Wanda nodded then turned.

"I have to fix this."

"You can?"

"Of course. You might want to get back. This could get a little bright."

Logan retreated to what he assumed was a safe distance then watched as Wanda sat down with Tora and Hope –both somehow rendered unconscious, he'd have to ask about that later- and held her hands to the sky.

"Return to those who own you!"

Electrum light was suddenly in her hands and she opened her hands, placing them palm-down over the comatose women's mouths.

"Leave them."

Light slid from their mouths and noses and Wanda clapped her hands together, creating a ball of bright light. As he watched, she pulled her hands apart, silver condensing around her left hand, gold streaming to her right. Then she placed her hands on the upturned faces and whispered softly under her breath.

"Enter and be done with this."

The mists dissipated and there was a soft groan. Tora moved slightly and tried to sit up, but a hand rested firmly but gently on her chest.

"You need to rest."

"What… What happened…?"

"Tora?"

"I… I was on the Moon… Tony shot me…"

Logan felt his heart leap up in his chest. Tora didn't remember! Therefore, they could plead possession and she wouldn't be punished for… for… come to think of it, aside from imprisoning the Avengers, what **had** she done wrong? She'd helped millions of people, healed countless others and exposed a great deal of corruption. Which of course would make enemies but…

"Logan?"

He looked over at her. She looked…awful, in a word. Her hair was tangled and there were scratches over her face that were slowly healing. She looked exhausted and haggard. Possession did that to you. He wanted to move forward but Wanda spoke first.

"I think we have something to do first, Tora?"

"Oh…! You mean, I didn't?"

"We'll explain later. If you'd care to wake up Hope?"

Tora shook the girl awake then sat down cross-legged. Wanda did the same and Hope dragged herself up. They sat in their circle, staring at each other, then, wordlessly, reached out and grasped the shoulders of the other two. They started rocking from side to side and as he watch, they **changed**.

Hope… the turquoise of her clothes changed to bright white, golden gloves and the Phoenix bright. Tora was darkening, deepening to a black so dark it looked like a hole in the universe, so the silver Dragon appeared to be gleaming.

And Wanda… Calling it plain **grey** was an insult to it. It was grey –**as far as the human eye could distinguish it**. But Logan… He saw it, only for the briefest of moments. It was every shade of every colour, all at once, all in the same place. They continued moving and there was fire and waves and red light and then they spoke in unison, in a language Logan could only **hope** to understand. The Phoenix soared, the Dragon roared and **something** materialised around Wanda, something vast and made of red light, with a birdlike head and powerful, feline legs –a griffin, Logan realised. Only… It wasn't quite the classical approach. There was something…different, that he couldn't place. And as he watched they screamed and then fell backwards, crashing hard into the ground as the beings rose up and vanished, dissipating. Logan ran forward and turned Tora over. Then he choked back the bile rising in his throat.

Her face was covered in burns, down to the metal itself. Blood was trickling from the few uninjured areas of skin. Feeling a sudden flash of worry, he turned first Wanda, then Hope over… Nothing. No injuries at all… Then he went back through what had happened in his head. They'd had their hands on each other's shoulders and then they rocked **towards** Tora and the energy had flowed **through** her, out into the air. He immediately turned her hands over and found the same kind of mess of burnt and bloodied skin on her arms and wrists. As he watched, tiny pieces of undamaged skin started growing over the injuries but at a far slower pace than he'd have liked. Then he heard the voices calling out.

"Step **away** from the criminal, sir!"

What? The next thing Logan knew, he was being pushed aside as heavily armoured SHIELD agents cuffed Hope then, ruthlessly, clasped cuffs tightly around the raw flesh just beginning to creep over Tora's wrists. Hell. They'd brought out the old cape-killer armour. Then he heard Steve's quiet voice.

"Stand down. Uncuff them."

"But, sir…"

"Look at her wrists, damn you! She's in no fit state to be cuffed! Logan, are you…?"

"Fine… Cap, they've no memory of what happened."

"What happened? I heard you'd been planning something…"

"Wanda depossessed the X-Men and ripped the Phoenix and the Dragon apart. Then they did…**something**…"

"Would that 'something' be anything to do with the sudden manifestation of mutants across the globe?"

"I…I think so…"

"What happened to Tora?"

"Best I can guess is she channelled all the power through her. Possibly because she's the quickest to heal."

"She doesn't **look** like she's healing."

"I'm sorry, she **did** just change reality."

Steve reached out and brushed the bleeding wrists.

"Get her in the ship! She needs medical assistance!"

Logan could have hugged him. Only he wouldn't. Because that would be embarrassing.

* * *

><p>"Typical, channelling that much power should <strong>kill<strong> you and she does it without a second thought."

"I'm sorry, it was all the being thrown at stuff that did it. Her brain was sort of rattled."

* * *

><p><strong><em>A.N. <em>**_Ok. So, I've had an idea for some AUs. Would anyone like to see the Avengers Movieverse, a segregated reality or one where Tora is catapulted to a different multiverse? (DC could be fun… Or Harry Potter… Or [insert own suggestion]…) So, tell me what you think and I hope you've enjoyed Memories so far! On the other point. I've sat my exams and come out quite well actually. I just have more mocks later._


	209. Accountability

Memories

Accountability

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Tora raised her head and looked at Steve.

"I need you to tell me what I did. Steve, I can't live not knowing what I let myself do."

"Tora, believe me when I say you did nothing worse than what we have done."

She looked down.

"Then why are you keeping me like this?"

She raised her wrists, clasped in adamantium chains.

"I can feel the energy mesh, Steve. This isn't just a cell for show. You've got me in here almost without powers. You've even strapped my fingers straight. You mean this."

"Tora, we need to…"

"Where's Hope?"

"She had no trace of the Phoenix. We released her. Tora, we **need** to know the truth. What **happened**?"

"I don't know. I can't remember."

"I'm not talking about what you did! I'm talking about the sudden surge in mutant manifestations! Don't lie and pretend you don't know anything about it!"

She sat in silence.

"Tora."

And then she spoke, in a low, dead voice.

"The Phoenix Hope had was merely a fraction –a shard if you like. We dissipated it across the world, burning through the 'No more mutants' spell. She knows what the burning is like. So when the Phoenix returns, she'll be ready."

"Tora, we need to talk to you about this…"

"No. You need to listen! You think any of this would have happened if Tony hadn't attacked us! Steve, the Phoenix isn't malevolent! Maybe the stupid firebird's a little blunt at times but it doesn't mean harm! I find it exasperating and irritating and a nuisance but there's no malevolence there! It's like a child, that just happens to be immensely powerful! It stops everything from stagnating, from dying! You've met Celestials! How do mad you think they'd be if they found out that their precious experiment was wiped out!"

"Tora, that is **not** the point!"

"It is, Steve! It always has been! It's always been mutants against the world! Us against you! You let Wanda and Pietro on the Avengers but you wondered, didn't you?! When the hate mail started flooding in, when death threats started turning up in the post! You considered quietly dropping them from the team! Oh, don't **lie**! I knew! You'd have to think it, because there were barely any other options! Steve, we've been left to our own devices! The Avengers defend humankind! The X-Men defend human and mutant alike! What does that say, Steve? What does that say! Look at you, Steve! When I was out of it, I know you were searching for the Dragon Protocol. Yeah, I know all about that! Eight syringes around the world, a cocktail of chemicals capable of putting me down **permanently**. You weren't looking to arrest me. You were going to kill me. I **trusted** you, Steve! I trusted you and Tony with that secret and you betrayed that trust! You think they just **magically** found out something that could kill me!? No, I gave that to Fury for situations a whole lot worse than this!"

"What sort of **worse** can there be!"

She leapt up and slammed her manacled wrists to the observation window.

"You know what I was trained to do, to **be**! Imagine that! Imagine that, in my body, with my knowledge, with my power, without my morals or beliefs! Imagine something that has only ever known hurt and wishes to lash out at the world, with the ability to destroy everything! **That's** what the Dragon Protocol is there for! Imagine something so twisted, it was capable of killing Jean Grey in cold blood! Imagine something so **terrifying**, that it can turn a hardened murderer into a quivering wreck! Imagine something with so much power it can distort space-time to suit its own needs! **That's** what I'm constantly fighting, Steve! You think I can live with this! It tears me apart and I spend all my time keeping my dark side down and out! _"We are absolute. Fear us for we could wipe you from history. You wouldn't die, you would simply never BE. It would be so easy. One word and you would never exist. And we can ignore all those fiddly little paradoxes."_ I said that once! I said that, I made Poacher scream in fear because she **knew** it was true! I was so powerful I could wave a hand and change history! I could have stopped all suffering! I could have stopped you falling! Did you ever wish that, Steve!? Did you ever wonder what happened if you weren't frozen? I'll tell you! Etana saves you, she joins the Invaders with Max, you get married, she dies in childbirth and you grow old and bitter, hating your son for what he took from you! Because Etana didn't have to die! She gave her life for your son! See, Steve! You **see** why I never talk about this! I live with all this pain, right at my fingertips and I have to be strong to keep from going **insane**! Do you know how many times I've died! Do you know how many times I feel life slip away from under my fingers! I've been drowned, burned, suffocated, broken so many times I swear I know what every kind of death feels like! I live like this for all of you! Do you know how this all turns out! If you arrest me, countless die because Scott, Emma, Namor, Colossus and Magik end up with the Phoenix Force instead of Hope! All because Tony shot them! Wakanda **burns**! You scream and beg and I just turn away! Second, you don't get there in 'time'! I complete the bonding, Hope returns to Earth, restarts the mutant race and the Phoenix Force leaves! No fuss, no deaths, no bother! The only variable the fiascos have in common is **you**, Steve! You and the Avengers! You caused this! You broke us and destroyed us! You condemned us the moment you decided to play around with Wanda's memories!"

She fell back into her chair and Steve suddenly felt a flush of embarrassment. The cell she was in had three sides, two two-foot walls of concrete impregnated with Antarctic vibranium meeting at right angles where the seat was and the third, curved glass wall. Tora could stand up and sit down but that was it. None of her usual pacing. She seemed incapable of sitting still most of the time. Steve had always regarded it with some humour. She could sit for hours meditating, not moving at all but at team briefings, she'd be pacing back and forth, unable to stand still. If she was sitting, her legs would be jiggling or her feet tapping, as if she wished to be walking. He knew why that was. He'd seen it in Bernie's cat almost every day. Quite happy to spend hours sleeping in the sun, but if it was hunting it couldn't stop moving. Tail would twitch back and forth. Tora didn't have a tail so instead paced. And right now, she'd be wanting to move. As it was, her feet were tapping out the familiar rhythm. She seemed to have lapsed into silence and all Steve could think of was what she said.

_The only variable the fiascos have in common is __**you**__, Steve! You and the Avengers! You caused this! You broke us and destroyed us! You condemned us the moment you decided to play around with Wanda's memories!_

He's always wondered about that. But Tora's anger was total. She saw so much, suffered so. He'd remembered asking her once about how she enjoyed having the alternate selves to chat to. She'd just fixed her amber gaze on him and stated, quite softly, that seeing alternate realities wasn't a gift but a curse.

"Tora… What… What could we have done to stop M-Day?"

She shrugged.

"32% of realities with powers avoided the **Decimation**. Call it by its proper name, not the euphemism you created to make yourself feel better. In 15% of realities, Wanda was killed either before having kids, or between being mind-wiped and remembering. In 10%, she never married Vision or had kids. In 3% she killed herself in a brief moment of sanity, when she realised what she'd done to the Avengers. In 2%, she responded to Charles' treatment. In 1% you killed her. In 0.5%, you let me heal her, before taking her to a quiet retreat on the edge of the Shi'ar Imperium. In 0.45%, I heal her then you kill us both as threats."

"What about the remaining 0.05%?"

"In that world… In those worlds, Wanda didn't say 'No More Mutants'. She said other things, like 'No more fighting', 'no more hate', 'no more bigotry'. And the world was so beautiful."

"Tora…"

"You have no idea…"

"Tora…"

"**WE AREN'T AFRAID THERE**!"

She was standing now, slamming her fists against the glass, cracks appearing there. That cell was supposed to be unbreakable. He could see the blood on her hands. Of course, even if she hadn't use of her claws, her hands were still adamantium. He'd once seen her punch a hole in concrete. Her fists had been bloodied and bruised but they healed quickly.

"I could live there without being afraid that my kids could be killed the next day because of what we are! Steve, I live every day afraid that the FOH or the Purifiers or the MRD will kill my children! Not because of what Logan and I do but because of what they are! You think I can live with that! It kills me, Steve, because the world hates my children before they're even walking because they're mutants!"

She pressed her fingers to her temples.

"**That's** why I fight. To try and keep my kids safe. It stopped being about the dream years ago. Now all I fight for is a world where my children aren't going to be killed because of their blood. It's as simple as that, Steve."

"Tora…"

She was crying now, silently, softly, angrily. Like she thought the tears were weakness. Knowing Tora, she probably did. She viciously wiped her eyes. Yep, angry. Angry that he had to see her at this moment of weakness, when he'd pushed her so far she had to cry. She turned away, curling up into the wall.

"Look… Steve… Just…go… I'll be ready for whatever charges you press against me. You know as well as I do, even if we do go to court, I won't spill out all those secrets. I won't talk about what Tony did to me, what you did to Wanda. I won't say a word in my own defence and they'll sentence me with prejudice for my mutant blood. I won't mention the Dragon Protocol, I won't talk about the times I've saved you. I will only talk about Phoenix and Dragon and explain what they are. And what I became."

Steve choked back a curse. Because Tora would do just that. She would keep all their dirty secrets hidden and in doing so, condemn herself. Her mutant status would just increase her sentence. He knew a non-mutant Avenger would probably get off scot-free. Tora? She'd be looking at a long time in the Raft or 42, surrounded by those she had once fought. She'd be lucky to survive one riot. She might be close to indestructible but enough concentrated firepower and she'd be down and out.

She was ignoring him and he knew from experience that she'd not pay attention to him when she was like this. So he quietly slipped out, letting her silently cry.

* * *

><p>"She really was a wreck."<p>

"Jean, of course she was. She hadn't a clue what had happened to her, she was suffering horrific nightmares and as far as she knew, she might be sent to the Negative Zone."


	210. Charged

Memories

Charged

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Logan stared at Steve. Steve stared at Logan. And then Captain America looked away.

"Steve, tell me."

"They're… They're charging her with coercion through use of telepathy, illusion, hypnotism or similar; unlawful imprisonment; espionage; theft to the sum of about 600 billion dollars and kidnapping."

"WHAT!?"

"I wore them down. They **were** going to charge her with treason."

Logan slumped back.

"Espionage?"

"All that stuff she brought up to the top. Scandals, things that a lot of people wanted left alone."

"Theft?"

"You didn't see it, Logan. She was shifting numbers around like they were little balls of lint being flicked across the desk. She took money from the richest and gave it to those who needed it. They've lumped all the charges together but there's no **way** those who had the money will get it back. It was all the end results of trafficking or crime and she spread it so thinly, so carefully, crashing all the computers that it's basically gone."

Logan snarled. Steve sighed.

"No, I don't like it either. I say Tora had the right idea on that one. Along with the destruction of the Afghan poppy fields and the Columbian plantations. She's not being prosecuted for that. In fact, it probably won't be brought up at all. It makes the military look stupid and inefficient."

"So basically, all the good things she did are being ignored?"

"No. Jen and I are doing our best but it's going to be tricky. If we're seen coming out too strongly on Tora's side, we'll be accused of trying to sway the jury and they'll vote against her just to spite us."

"Kidnapping?"

"Now that's one we're pretty sure we can get pushed aside, since everything Hope-"

"Hope! They're accusing her of kidnapping **Hope**!"

"Like I said, Hope refused to speak with us. That's good. We get Hope in and she states she went with Tora willingly, then the other charges start looking trumped up."

"Steve…"

"Yes?"

"They're not going to let her off this one, are they?"

"Not unless we cheat. And we can't afford to cheat."

"Even if you do cheat, they'll still find her guilty. She's a mutant."

"Ah. But **that's** one thing we have managed!"

"What?"

Steve grinned.

"She has the right to be tried by her peers. Without prejudice."

"You're saying…"

"The jury has to be made up of mutants or superhumans and have to all have clean records regarding membership to groups like the FOH or the Purifiers."

Logan stared.

"How did you manage that one?"

"Easily enough. I just said that if we filled the jury with humans, we'd be opening ourselves up to a successful appeal against discrimination."

Logan lowered his head.

"What's the situation like?"

Steve sighed and slumped in his chair.

"At the moment? Not good at all. We've got Wanda agreeing to testify on both sides and Jen wants to speak to whoever you get about some evidence. But there's going to be a lot of protestors outside when the time comes."

"Steve…"

"Yes, Logan?"

"How did you get them to drop the treason charges?"

"By getting Tony to completely wipe any record of Tora's American citizenship. She's a French national and a Canadian by marriage but not American. How can she commit treason –or be charged for it in the States- if she isn't American?"

Logan relaxed.

"You're in our corner here, aren't you?"

"Let's just say, Tora gave me a lot to think about."

"That's your 'planning something' face."

"What?"

"You get that look every time you're planning something. You got it in Madripoor, you got it a lot on the front, you got it every time you plan something big with the Avengers. And you're getting it now."

"I am **not**."

Logan just raised an eyebrow before silently getting up to leave. Steve spoke just before he left.

"Who are you getting?"

Logan shrugged.

"Not sure. Looking at Murdock. Don't know if he'll bite though."

"He trusts Tora. He'll take it."

"It's more than about trust."

* * *

><p>"I thought Daredevil got on very well with Tora."<p>

"Yes. But if she **ordered** him not to take it?"

"She **wouldn't**…"

"If she thought taking the case would damage him, she would."

* * *

><p>"Matt can't take the case."<p>

Rachel looked up, horrified.

"You mean **won't**."

"I mean **can't**. After all that stuff about him being Daredevil, getting asked to defend on a case like this –for one of Daredevil's **teammates**, is tantamount to admitting who he is. He's sorry –he still counts Tora as a friend. She stood by him after Shadowland."

"So get Jen Walters."

"Steve's got her on prosecution. I can't decide if that's good or bad. On one hand, Jen's one of the best. On the other… Well, she won't want the Avengers' dirty laundry aired any more than Steve does."

"Madrox…"

"What?"

"Jamie Madrox. He's passed the bar. And he's one of us so we can trust him."

"He's never got on too well with Tora. They always end up arguing."

"But he's one of us."

"Get X-Factor on the phone. I'll see if Madrox is up for it."

* * *

><p>"She never <strong>did<strong> talk about this."

"Well, Steve Rogers did cheat."

* * *

><p>In the cave in Arizona, Kurt Darkholme left his room to look for the only other member of X-Force who lived there. Deathlock had his haunts yet Kurt could never quite call him a 'member'.<p>

"I thought I'd find you here."

Tigress inhaled, still sitting in the cold hall, surrounded by memorabilia from a world they had no place in.

"It helps me concentrate."

He waited but she didn't move from her cross-legged position, her breathing slow and regulated. She had done this every night for as long as he remembered. Before Etana di… Before the Brood invasion, Tora had sat with her adoptive mother each and every night and they never said anything. Just sat, face-to-face, eyes closed, breathing slowly and softly. After Etana had…destroyed the Brood Queen, Tora continued alone. But never for this long. Never for almost three hours.

"Come to bed. It's late…"

She shook her head.

"I need to clear my head."

"You've been sitting here far too long. At least let me get you a blanket or something…"

"Kurt? Did I ever tell you about the time –before the X-Men- when I was flung naked into Hudson Bay in December? I'm **fine**."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Meditating was always her way of gathering her thoughts, processing her day. It means you sleep better. And I've a lot to process."

"Even you need sleep."

"I can't. Even if I can't touch her while I'm here… She still reaches out to me."

"You can't let her distract you. She isn't you."

"You think I don't know that? We spent a lot of time in each other's head. We're all the same, in a way. A nexus being is always tied to certain…points. We are needed. In every reality, Marie Circen was born. Even if she only lived for a few hours, she helped realign the worlds. That is what a nexus being must do. Align the worlds, and suffer as they do so."

Her eyes flickered open for the briefest of moments.

"At times I feel her life has been worse than mine."

"Tora?"

"She suffered as I did. And in some ways, it was worse. She had someone she cared for –like Nate in the pen next to me. She felt responsible for her friend's death. She was saved. She found peace. And then her peace was ripped from her in the form of death and destruction. At least for me… I who have always been fighting and never expect to stop… I was ready for pain. She hoped otherwise."

"Tora, can you come back? It's freezing out here."

She waved one hand.

"Give me ten more minutes. I'll join you then. Go back to sleep."

He stood for a moment before going, knowing she'd probably stay up all night, sitting cross-legged, eyes closed, breathing slowly and deeply as she went through her waking dreams.

It therefore was quite a surprise when, indeed ten minutes later, Tigress joined him.

* * *

><p>"They weren't exactly the most functional couple, were they?"<p>

"Of course not. He grew up in terror of being killed for his appearance, she was Dark Beast's pet project. I don't think either of them were ready for a stable relationship."


	211. Inquisition

Memories

Inquisition

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

The crowd jeered as they brought her out. She blinked in the bright sunlight, tilted her head away. She made out signs. Fry the Mutie seemed to be a common one. But she felt a soft flutter of hope when she saw a placard held up with pictures of members of the Avengers gone wild and the question Equality for All? proudly splashed across it. There were others, all basically saying that because she was mutant, she was being tried. But she pushed those thoughts aside. Then something whistled through the air and she felt eggshell crumbled on her head and yolk and white get tangled in her hair. She could so easily react, turn round and swipe out. Everyone there knew the handcuffs were just for show. All of the Avengers were trained in lock picking. And they hadn't even put a power suppressor on, as Steve had correctly claimed it would eventually kill her.

So instead of reacting, she just walked silently to the doors, Jamie Madrox at her shoulder. As soon as they closed the doors, a woman hurried up with a bowl of warm water, smiling shyly at Tora, who nodded in thanks.

When she entered the courtroom, her hair was still damp. She saw the sad glance Jen gave her, oddly tender. Glancing to the side, she spotted a few familiar faces in the crowd. And in one corner, Matt Murdock raised one hand in silent greeting. He'd come to see her shortly after, offered to defend her. And she refused, not because she doubted his abilities –far from it- but she had to protect him. Her eyes scanned left and right. Bobbi –Mockingbird, how droll in the courtroom- sitting in another corner, next to Hawkeye. They were holding hands and both looked serious. She continued to look. Tony was near the front, pointedly ignoring the reporters. When he saw her, he nodded. Silent respect. And then she saw Logan, sitting quietly in one corner, unable to stand as family because they kept their life so secret.

And then she was in the dock, waiting, waiting for the longest silence in her life.

"You are the superhero known as Dragon?"

"Yes."

"What is your real name?"

"Which do you want? My birth name? The name I grew up with? The name I use because I am neither Marie Circen or Weapon X-ii?"

"Your real name."

"Marie Camille Circen."

There was a quiet ripple of silence, as people placed the name.

"Date of birth?"

"December 28th, 1984."

"Place of residence?"

"The Jean Grey School for Higher Learning, 1407 Greymalkin Lane, Salam Center, Westchester County, New York."

"You live at the school?"

"Yes."

"You also teach there?"

"Yes."

"It says here you teach… Advanced Languages, Mutant History and…Cosmic Entities –What We Ignore About the Fundamental Truths of Life…?"

"Yes."

"Can you explain the last one?"

"We talk about the cosmic beings such as Galactus and their place in the universe, as well as the things almost everyone **knows** but happens to be wrong. Like Death prefers to be referred to as 'she' and how to face the Living Tribunal. Without wetting yourself."

"Are you making fun of this court?"

"No, sir. Just stating my job description."

"You also counsel a few troubled students?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I wish someone had been there for me when I was their age."

"Why wasn't there?"

"Between the ages of fourteen and twenty, the only human contact I had was with Sabretooth. He wasn't one for talking. More…eviscerating and torturing."

"Why were you with Sabretooth for that long?"

She stiffened.

"I'd rather not answer that question."

"Were you in league with him?"

She hissed through her teeth.

"I was **sold** to him, because I was an inefficient weapon. Whoever heard of a weapon that wouldn't kill?"

There was silence and she lowered her head.

"I respectfully request we no longer talk of my childhood. Merely why I am here."

She heard Jamie hiss. She was effectively sabotaging her own case. But she couldn't talk about that. She wouldn't.

* * *

><p>"Shall we skip through, just watching the interesting bits?"<p>

"You did that to everything."

"Eidetic memory, remember? I don't want to clutter my head with insignificant details."

"You fast-forwarded through every single Olympic opening and closing ceremony, despite the fact others wanted to watch them."

"They're three hours long each! I had better things to do!"

"You also threw a bowl at the TV at the 2012 closing ceremony. Yes, I heard about that."

* * *

><p>"It was sacrilege."<p>

Hope fidgeted in her seat. The sight of the teenage girl who was so obviously nervous appeared to appeal to the judge, who spoke kindly.

"You go by the name Hope Summers?"

Hope nodded, swallowing, glancing again and again at Tora who was sitting silently, staring at the floor. She did a lot of that. Just staring at the floor, barely reacting to anything said.

"Do you have another name?"

"They… Baby Spalding… I was at Cooperstown… My dad –only he wasn't my dad- he saved me but they never got to name me."

"It says here you were raised in the future. Who by?"

"Nathan… That's Cable… My dad… And… And Tora…"

"Who is Tora?"

Hope glanced over at the silent woman.

"You mean to say the defendant raised you?"

"No… Not her. Another Tora."

"But it was a woman like her?"

Hope nodded.

"Was that why you didn't fight when she kidnapped you?"

Hope leapt up, her eyes flashing.

"Tora didn't kidnap me! I went with her because she was the only one who treated me as a person, not some sort of weapon! She asked me what I wanted, not told me what I needed! I went with her because she'd make sure I wasn't hurt!"

"Yet she exposed you to this… 'Phoenix Force'?"

"Yeah, but at least she told me what it **was**. I had one set of people telling me I was going to be the Phoenix, another set telling me they were going to hide me from the Phoenix and Tora telling me what the Phoenix was, what it did and did I want to do this! She was the only one who didn't treat me like a baby!"

She sat down, folded her arms and every time someone used the word 'kidnapping', she would drawl 'Went with her willingly". By the time she had finished, the judge looked rather annoyed at her.

* * *

><p>Phoenix grinned.<p>

"That's a good girl. Phoenix through and through."

"I don't know. That stubborn streak is more conducive with our host, Phoenix dear."

The masked woman shot a glare at Death, who ignored her.


	212. Discomfort

Memories

Discomfort

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"Ms Circen. Ms Circen, will you look at me?"

Tora's head jerked up, staring She-Hulk right in the eyes.

"Yes?"

"Can you answer my question? What do you remember?"

"I… I remember… I remember channelling the Phoenix…"

"And why were you doing that, Ms Circen?"

"To stop it hurting Hope."

"And why would it hurt Hope, Ms Circen?"

"Because it is Fire, and Life Incarnate. It will hurt so I took the hurt from her."

"Why did you do that?"

"Because she is a child who needs protecting and I could take the pain for her."

"She needs protecting, but you were prepared to expose her to the Phoenix?"

"The Phoenix protects its avatars. Hope was being attacked from all sides. She needed something to defend herself."

"Why couldn't you protect her?"

"I cannot be everywhere at once. None of us can. Eventually, we would be worn down, or someone would slip through, and she would be killed. Men attempted to kill her before she was an hour old, because of what she is."

"What is she, Ms Circen?"

"The first mutant born after the Decimation."

"Do you know what they call her, Ms Circen?"

"They call her the Mutant Messiah."

"Why?"

"Because she would save our kind from extinction."

"From what I've heard, she wasn't alone. You were implicated in the Regeneration of the X-Gene."

"Neither of us could do it alone. You cannot have Phoenix without Dragon. Without the Phoenix, I was helpless to prevent the Decimation. The Phoenix could not burn away the 'No more mutants' spell without the Dragon."

"Ms Circen, do you hate the US Government for what it did to you?"

"What thing? My childhood? No. I cannot hate them. I cannot feel anything from then but numbness. For the Sentinels? I cannot hate for that, only pity those so afraid that they seek to wipe us out. But for letting the mutant children die on Genosha? For letting children burn because of what they were? I can find hate in my heart for that."

"So you hate the Government?"

"No. I hate the cowardice of those who stood by and let our children die."

"Ms Circen, will you talk about your childhood?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because if I talk about it, I can be prosecuted under another thirty laws for revealing state secrets."

"Ms Circen, what **can** you tell us about your childhood?"

Tora blinked then sighed.

"I had no childhood. Only training."

"What else can you tell us?"

"I was two when I was taken to a military research facility. I was about fourteen when I had adamantium implanted in my bones."

"Ms Walters, I do not see…"

"Your Honour, please let me continue. This gives the jury an idea of the defendant's behaviour. Ms Circen, how do you implant adamantium into the bones?"

"I… I'm not sure of the process…"

"Ms Circen, what did they do to you?"

She choked, gestured for water. Coughed, glanced, tried to look anywhere but at She-Hulk.

"Needles. They…form the adamantium…keep it hot…about 100 degrees above the melting point, just to be on the safe side… They… They implant the needles, into the bone… Then inject the liquid adamantium. It sets in the shape of the bone."

"How large a needle?"

She shrugged.

"Two inches for the smaller bones –fingers, wrists, feet. Closer to five for the arm and leg bones. Two three inch needles for the skull."

"And how hot is the adamantium?"

"Five thousand degrees Celsius. About nine thousand degrees Fahrenheit."

"How old were you, exactly, Ms Circen?"

"I… I'm not entirely sure…"

"Why not?"

"I… I tried to keep count but… There were weeks when the days all blended together… I… I think about fourteen…"

"Isn't your skeleton still growing then, Ms Circen?"

"Yes."

"Why did they do that?"

She shrugged.

"Ms Circen?"

"They didn't want too. But the man told them to."

"Which man, Ms Circen?"

"The… The US agent…"

The room exploded into uproar. Her head hung down and she did her best to ignore the shouts for silence. Then Jen spoke and the whole court fell silent.

"How did you know he was a US agent?"

"Because I found the funders for the project and the internal documentation made it clear the US Government had been the one to push the adamantium bonding process forward."

"Thank you, Ms Circen. And now, can we go onto why you became an X-Man?"

"They saved me."

"And that's it?"

"I had nowhere to go."

"Why not?"

"I didn't exist. I had no name, other than X-ii. I was not 'official'. I had no money, nothing to prove who I was."

"How did you find out who you were?"

"An accident."

"What sort of accident?"

"My… My family… saw me… thought I was… They said… I ran…"

She looked away.

"Ms Circen, can you look at me? Thank you. So you worked with the X-Men. What can you tell me about the Phoenix Force."

Tora raised her head and spoke clearly.

"The Phoenix Force is a cosmic entity. An anthropomorphic personification if you wish. A being whose sole purpose is to oversee a function that is a part of the natural order of things. In the Phoenix's case, Thought. It is made up of pure psionic energy and takes its power from the life force of future generations. It also represents change. Its purpose is to burn away what is stagnant. It gets rid of what no longer evolves. It can restart evolution or burn a planet to nothing. It is neither malevolent nor benevolent. It just **is**."

"What of the Dark Phoenix incident of nine years ago? When the Phoenix Force destroyed an entire solar system. A populated solar system."

"The Phoenix Force had tricked itself into thinking it was human. It could no longer control itself –humanity has something cosmic beings have not. Emotions. And then Mastermind started playing with its mind, thinking it was Jean Grey. He drove it insane. And then he pushed it too far and…it lost control… It attempted to kill itself rather than destroy anything else."

"Attempted?"

"Sort of managed it. But you can't kill something like that. You can weaken it. You can damage it. But you can't **kill** it."

"And can you tell me about the Dragon and how you ended up changing from Tigress to Dragon?"

"I was…hurt… Dragon came… It too was hurt. It could heal me, I could heal it-"

"How?"

"It was shattered through the multiverse. I can connect to those. It's a part of my mutation. It gave it a bridge. And when it was healed…it sort of stayed."

"What is the Dragon?"

"Like the Phoenix. But… Different. Old life, instead of new. Preservation instead of progression. It heals what is dying before it should. And instead of thought, it represents knowledge. It is the archivist. Its duty is to watch and record."

"Yet you use it to fight?"

"I barely used any of its potential. In return, it…it learnt."

"Learnt what?"

"What living feels like."

"And… Ms Circen? Ms Circen, are you alright?"

Tora was shaking, her eyes glowing silver and then her mouth opened.

"**I speak as the Dragon Song, She Who Rides the Waves of Time. I am the Librarian of Reality and Darkchilde. I am Water. I am the Order-Bringer, the Child of the One-Above-All. I am more than you can understand. I am Perpetuity. I am the Universal Tick. I am the whole of reality. I am the smallest one-dimensional object. I exist in all times, all places. I exist only inside this frail body. I work in an infinite number of dimensions yet I see the smallest detail. I am the Dragon Song and this is my Voice.**"

And Tora was shaking, her arms wrapping around her shoulders as she tried to make herself as small as possible, clutching at her head, whispering under her breath.

"Ms Circen, are you alright?"

"Someone…walked over my grave…"

She shivered and shook her head. Multiple Man had stood up.

"My client is badly shaken. Permission to adjourn requested."

The judge nodded weakly.

"Pe…Permission granted…"

Tora was hustled out and allowed to sit. She was shivering, and greedily gulped down the drink Madrox offered.

"Are you okay?"

She shook her head.

"You know, you're coming across as frightened and alone."

"I… I don't mean to. It's just… She's asking stuff I didn't think she would. I **hoped** she wouldn't."

"We've not got long. Do you need another drink?"

She shook her head again.

"I… I think I'll be fine. Just as long as Dragon doesn't take me over again."

"How do we stop it from doing that?"

"You can't. It does what it wants. If it wanted, it could shove me into a dark little corner and be in control all the time. But it doesn't. It's like the Phoenix. Not malevolent. Not benevolent. Just…is."

* * *

><p>"Pretty good description for her."<p>

"What? She was smarter than people gave her credit for."


	213. Nothing But the Truth

Memories

Nothing But Truth

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

They sat in silence and then they returned to the courtroom. Jen sorted some papers then stood up.

"Ms Circen, what happened on the Blue Area of the Moon?"

"I… I called the Phoenix. I called it to me then channelled it through me, into Hope."

"And then what?"

"I… I don't remember."

"According to Ms Summers, Mr Antony Stark shot you both."

"I don't remember."

"Why not?"

"I was busy doing other things."

"Like?"

"Trying to keep Phoenix and Dragon apart."

"Why?"

"They're like matter and antimatter. They touch, they annihilate."

"Why were you channelling them then?"

"I acted as a barrier between them. It helped Hope."

"What is the last thing you remember?"

"Pain. My concentration broke, fire and water touched. Then blackness. I wake in a clearing, I don't know how much later. It feels like someone ripped me apart then pasted me back together."

"Ms Circen, would you care to comment on the film we are about to play?"

The quality was crisp and clear but it shook, like the one holding the camera was staggering backwards.

_There was a vibrant explosion, waves and fire blossomed and then cleared away. _

"_**Fools. You have forced together what cannot touch… Water and Fire, Past and Future, Order and Chaos, Knowledge and Thought, Preservation and Progression. You have destroyed us both**__."_

_The beings were terrible. Beautiful in a horrific way._

"_**We were in control. The bonding was going perfectly. And now you have destroyed us. You have forced us to become two very different things. Soon our minds shall be torn to shreds by the fighting. FOOLS!**__"_

_They moved in unison, back to back, so Hope's face stared almost directly at the camera._

"_**Manipulation and lies. How foolish of you. We are more than you will ever be. Even GODS fear us. We are the World Healers. And the World Ravagers. One of us once held both, but as Phoenix-Dragon. It is impossible to contain half of each after they have been meshed together. We are One and the One is ALL!**__"_

"_SHOOT THEM AGAIN!"_

_The repulsor cannon fired again but Hope simply raised a hand and the beam ricocheted off. _

"_**We were ready. We were ready to fight together, as we only did when the Little Phoenix was avatar, the Little Phoenix who is now part of the whole. Only you hurt us. Hurt us when we were at our weakest. But we can still save this… Do not try to stop us. Do not dare. We are going to heal this world. In the only way we can. Goodbye, little people. Do not try to stop us**__."_

_They raised their hands and rose slowly into the air, rotating around each other. And then they shot upwards. A voice, barely picked up on the mike, rang through._

"_Well we all %&$#* up, didn't we?"_

Tora's head was tilted to one side.

"Ms Circen, do you remember this?"

"No."

"That was a very quick answer."

"I've already said, I don't remember what happens after I was shot!"

"You said you didn't know what happened."

"You've already told me that two or three times. It's not hard to equate being shot to a loss in concentration."

"Ms Circen, will you care to comment on this sound clip?"

"_The Phoenix Hope had was merely a fraction –a shard if you like. We dissipated it across the world, burning through the 'No more mutants' spell. She knows what the burning is like. So when the Phoenix returns, she'll be ready."_

"_Tora, we need to talk to you about this…"_

"_No. You need to listen! You think any of this would have happened if Tony hadn't attacked us! Steve, the Phoenix isn't malevolent! Maybe the stupid firebird's a little blunt at times but it doesn't mean harm! I find it exasperating and irritating and a nuisance but there's no malevolence there! It's like a child, that just happens to be immensely powerful! It stops everything from stagnating, from dying! You've met Celestials! How do mad you think they'd be if they found out that their precious experiment was wiped out!"_

"_Tora, that is not the point!"_

"_It is, Steve! It always has been! It's always been mutants against the world! Us against you! You let Wanda and Pietro on the Avengers but you wondered, didn't you?! When the hate mail started flooding in, when death threats started turning up in the post! You considered quietly dropping them from the team! Oh, don't lie! I knew! You'd have to think it, because there were barely any other options! Steve, we've been left to our own devices! The Avengers defend humankind! The X-Men defend human and mutant alike! What does that say, Steve? What does that say! Look at you, Steve! When I was out of it, I know you were searching for the Dragon Protocol. Yeah, I know all about that! Eight syringes around the world, a cocktail of chemicals capable of putting me down permanently. You weren't looking to arrest me. You were going to kill me. I trusted you, Steve! I trusted you and Tony with that secret and you betrayed that trust! You think they just magically found out something that could kill me!? No, I gave that to Fury for situations a whole lot worse than this!"_

"_What sort of worse can there be!"_

"_You know what I was trained to do, to be! Imagine that! Imagine that, in my body, with my knowledge, with my power, without my morals or beliefs! Imagine something that has only ever known hurt and wishes to lash out at the world, with the ability to destroy everything! That's what the Dragon Protocol is there for! Imagine something so twisted, it was capable of killing Jean Grey in cold blood! Imagine something so terrifying, that it can turn a hardened murderer into a quivering wreck! Imagine something with so much power it can distort space-time to suit its own needs! That's what I'm constantly fighting, Steve! You think I can live with this! It tears me apart and I spend all my time keeping my dark side down and out! "_We are absolute. Fear us for we could wipe you from history. You wouldn't die, you would simply never BE. It would be so easy. One word and you would never exist. And we can ignore all those fiddly little paradoxes." _I said that once! I said that, I made Poacher scream in fear because she knew it was true! I was so powerful I could wave a hand and change history! I could have stopped all suffering! I could have stopped you falling! Did you ever wish that, Steve!? Did you ever wonder what happened if you weren't frozen? I'll tell you! Etana saves you, she joins the Invaders with Max, you get married, she dies in childbirth and you grow old and bitter, hating your son for what he took from you! Because Etana didn't have to die! She gave her life for your son! See, Steve! You see why I never talk about this! I live with all this pain, right at my fingertips and I have to be strong to keep from going insane! Do you know how many times I've died! Do you know how many times I feel life slip away from under my fingers! I've been drowned, burned, suffocated, broken so many times I swear I know what every kind of death feels like! I live like this for all of you! Do you know how this all turns out! If you arrest me, countless die because Scott, Emma, Namor, Colossus and Magik end up with the Phoenix Force instead of Hope! All because Tony shot them! Wakanda burns! You scream and beg and I just turn away! Second, you don't get there in 'time'! I complete the bonding, Hope returns to Earth, restarts the mutant race and the Phoenix Force leaves! No fuss, no deaths, no bother! The only variable the fiascos have in common is you, Steve! You and the Avengers! You caused this! You broke us and destroyed us! You condemned us the moment you decided to play around with Wanda's memories!"_

"_Tora… What… What could we have done to stop M-Day?"_

"_32% of realities with powers avoided the Decimation. Call it by its proper name, not the euphemism you created to make yourself feel better. In 15% of realities, Wanda was killed either before having kids, or between being mind-wiped and remembering. In 10%, she never married Vision or had kids. In 3% she killed herself in a brief moment of sanity, when she realised what she'd done to the Avengers. In 2%, she responded to Charles' treatment. In 1% you killed her. In 0.5%, you let me heal her, before taking her to a quiet retreat on the edge of the Shi'ar Imperium. In 0.45%, I heal her then you kill us both as threats."_

"_What about the remaining 0.05%?"_

"_In that world… In those worlds, Wanda didn't say 'No More Mutants'. She said other things, like 'No more fighting', 'no more hate', 'no more bigotry'. And the world was so beautiful."_

"_Tora…"_

"_You have no idea…"_

"_Tora…"_

"_WE AREN'T AFRAID THERE!"_

"_I could live there without being afraid that my kids could be killed the next day because of what we are! Steve, I live every day afraid that the FOH or the Purifiers or the MRD will kill my children! Not because of what Logan and I do but because of what they are! You think I can live with that! It kills me, Steve, because the world hates my children before they're even walking because they're mutants! That's why I fight. To try and keep my kids safe. It stopped being about the dream years ago. Now all I fight for is a world where my children aren't going to be killed because of their blood. It's as simple as that, Steve."_

"_Tora…"_

"_Look… Steve… Just…go… I'll be ready for whatever charges you press against me. You know as well as I do, even if we do go to court, I won't spill out all those secrets. I won't talk about what Tony did to me, what you did to Wanda. I won't say a word in my own defence and they'll sentence me with prejudice for my mutant blood. I won't mention the Dragon Protocol, I won't talk about the times I've saved you. I will only talk about Phoenix and Dragon and explain what they are. And what I became."_

The clip stopped. And silence reigned.

* * *

><p>Silence reigned too in the dark room at the end of the universe. Then Phoenix burst out laughing.<p>

"Steve sabotaged his own case!"


	214. Secrets

Memories

Secrets

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"Ms Circen, would you care to explain that last comment? Ms Circen?"

Tora could only hear a ringing in her ears. They had meant well. They had meant to save her. And in doing so, they damned her. All those years. Protecting her children, shielding them. And now there were journalists trying desperately to get in touch with their editors, to get the scoop of the century. State brings own case crashing down on it. And then Tora stood, her eyes flashing angrily.

"What right had you!? What right had you to reveal that!? I have bled and suffered to protect them and you reveal their existence to the world! I have done everything in my power to keep them from being hurt and you suddenly make them open season to any and all with a grudge against me! I would do more than die for them, which I could and would do for any of those I protect! I would kill for them, because they mean more to me than life itself! And you, in your presumptive arrogance, reveal them! I bled and screamed! I tried to preserve the innocence I was denied but still they know true fear! They are hated for what they are! They can never redeem themselves in the eyes of those who hate them for they are mutant! They already know to be silent when outside! They fear talking of home or beliefs, in case they are labelled 'mutie-lover'! They know they are hated and feared and they are so scared! They are scared of you humans, who persecute them so! They fear leaving the safety of our walls! Oh, what safety! We are trapped in our school, a reservation for a dying race! And what does it say that they feel safer inside the gilded cage than learning to fly free!"

She was breathing heavily, her hands clasped into fists and the slightest trickle of blood running over her knuckles. She was restraining herself from unsheathing her claws, restraining herself from attacking.

And then she blinked.

* * *

><p>Phoenix whistled through her teeth long and low.<p>

"Well, that backfired."

* * *

><p>It was a curious moment. She flickered briefly around the edges then she vanished for the tiniest moment and then she was back again, looking as solid as before. But it was enough. One scream and there was a stampede for the doors. Tora tried to raise her hands but one of the guards panicked and leapt towards her, slamming the butt of his heavy stun gun into the back of her head. She –reactions heightened by years of combat experience- automatically turned and lashed out, the cuffs clattering against his skull. He dropped like a stone. The other guards raised their weapons and fired. She buckled at the knees, crashing heavily into the side of the box. Blood trickled down the massive gouge above her left eye and pinning her arms under her body. She-Hulk had already moved forward and picked her up, lifting her bodily off the floor.<p>

"What was that!? What was that!?"

The blood was trickling into Tora's mouth as she spoke.

"The Dragon took me."

"Explain."

"**I took her to a place where she could be safe. Safe to release her anger, where none would be hurt by it. It appears I…misjudged the time to return…**"

She-Hulk paused.

"You mean… You were trying to stop her exploding here, and in doing so, made things worse?"

"**That about sums it up.**"

"Are you **insane**!"

"**Speak not to me like that. You may have once served the Tribunal, but you are not shielded from my powers.**"

And then Tora was spitting blood out of her mouth and Jen gently lowered her to the ground as the guards came to take her to the cell she would be staying in for the duration.

* * *

><p>"Oh, she really was having trouble, wasn't she?"<p>

"Worse is to come."

"Funny. She never talked about this."

"To her, the whole experience was one to never be repeated or mentioned again."

* * *

><p>Kate Kildare had a headache. Sure, the X-Men were behaving impeccably but unless she moved fast, the Dragon situation could spiral out of control. The door opened and startlingly clear eyes looked up.<p>

"Ms Kildare."

"Dragon. This is bad."

"What?"

"This."

She threw the piles of papers down. The woman sitting leant forward and picked them up.

"Dragon Trial Postponed. That's not too bad."

"That's the Times. It's the others you have to worry about."

She flicked through the papers and her frown deepened.

"What? Dragon Rages in Court? Secret Life of Mutants? Who came up with this stuff?"

"Those are the polite headlines. There's a lot worse. We need to do damage control, and fast. You've always been seen as aloof, above the others. All your New Avengers images. They're celebrating, you stand apart. The X-Men explain their latest victory, you're standing high up, keeping watch. You never give interviews, never pose for photos. You never appear to interact with the public."

"I always respond to the Make-A-Wish requests."

"Yes. But you do it **quietly**. You never make a fuss of it."

"If I did, I wouldn't be doing it for the child. I'd be doing it for publicity, which is the antithesis of what the Foundation is about."

"You **need** good publicity. Dragon? Dragon?"

The woman was sitting staring into space, lost in memories.

"Dragon?"

"I took her pain."

"What?"

She looked up, startled.

"It was three years ago…"

_It had been the first of the children she had met. A twelve-year-old girl, suffering from leukaemia. An X-Men fan. The girl had started out shy but years of teaching and mothering gave Tora a way of gently teasing the girl out of her shell. They chatted about a lot of things –films, actors, the X-Men, mutant rights. And then the girl had begun shaking in pain. And Tora had, just before she left, been pulled her mother aside._

"_You're a healer. Please…"_

"_I can't heal her. I'm sorry. Cancer's always been tricky. But I can do something."_

"_What?"_

"_I can take away her pain. She'll still be dying, but she won't be in pain anymore."_

_The mother clasped Tora's hands and kissed them, whispering blessings. And Tora gently leant down to the girl and placed one hand on the side of her head. Waves slide around her face and then turned dark brown before being drawn back into Tora, who winced. The girl stared at her in amazement before throwing her arms around Tora. When Tora rose, she seemed shaky and the mother realised what she had done._

"_You said 'take', not 'get rid of'. You can feel her pain… I'm sorry, I… I didn't realise."_

_And Tora simply placed one hand on the woman's shoulder._

"_I already live in pain. A bit more won't matter, not if it's for something as important as this. Keep her safe."_

_And she left, living with the pain for eighteen months before it suddenly peaked then stopped. And she knew the girl was dead._

Kildare slumped back into a seat.

"You mean you've been taking the pain from every kid you've met."

She nodded.

"Sometimes I can help with the illness as well. But I can't tell people. They'd expect me to heal everyone but I **can't**."

"Too much to do?"

"No. Population. I can't save everyone's life, else the population will get too big, we won't be able to survive on the level of technology we have right now. And that's practically inviting the Phoenix to come along and wipe out half the human population."

"We need to improve your image. You need to give your side of the story."

"I'm not giving an interview."

"You have to. Else they'll keep on printing this stuff."

"Let them."

"You can't **afford** to let them. Word's got out that you're still on the reserve list for the Avengers and they're calling for you dismissal. Captain Rogers can only get so far."

"I'm not good at this."

"Then pick someone who you can trust to let you be yourself."

She hung her head then muttered something under her breath.

"What?"

"I said, Ben Urich. He's always been on our side."

Kildare nodded.

"Leave it to me. I'll get in touch."

"I still don't like it."

"I'll send you a copy of the finished article."

* * *

><p>"Did she mess up?"<p>

"Surprisingly, no."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>So, hope you're enjoying this. Once again, holiday with no internet access, so don't expect an update for two weeks (this is a bit of a godsend as I have some horrific writer's block)_


	215. Vengeance

Memories

Vengeance

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

_The first thing she did when she got home was dive into the shower and start scrubbing her skin until she bled. She wasn't going to pollute her home with his stench. She heard someone knock on the door, then Jamie's voice._

"_Maman? You're hogging the bathroom and Dad said I had to get clean because I've spilt acid all down my shirt."_

_Tora stiffened at the mention of 'Dad' then relaxed when she realised Jamie meant Kurt. She wondered why he had never put it together. That his father wasn't the man who claimed to be his parent, that his mother hadn't been married to Kurt at the start of the Apocalypse regime._

"_Course, darling. One moment…"_

_She grabbed one of the towels to wrap around her and smiled when she smelt the sulphur. Kurt obviously hadn't taken her 'no teleportation' rule seriously. But then Amanda could effectively teleport using the shadows, jumping from one to another without walking between them. So it was quite unfair to tell Kurt he couldn't. She unlocked the door and sighed when she saw Jamie's chest already healing from the acid burns._

"_You're hopeless, dear."_

"_I know Maman. But Amanda did run into it. If she wasn't always so careless-"_

"_If you did your experiments in the garage, as you've been told countless times to do…"_

_He grinned sheepishly, a habit he picked up from Kurt and Tora smiled as she realised what she had told Logan was true. Jamie was Kurt's son._

"_Try not to melt the bath this time."_

"_Yes Maman…"_

xXx

_The blast sent her reeling but she whipped round to face Iron Man. Unfortunately, that left her back exposed and Thor dropped his hammer then charged at Iron Man._

"_Don't! You must not hurt her else my brother will know!"_

"_WHAT!?"_

_Thor blinked._

"_You did not know?"_

"_What are you saying about the communication tattoo?"_

"_Communication tattoo? That is an Asgardian ward tattoo, used… used… used by one god to protect his mortal lovers from harm…"_

_She stopped._

"_Do you mind?"_

"_Er…what?"_

"_LOKI!"_

_The god appeared._

"_Yes? Do you want me to blast them…? Okay, what did I do __**this**__ time?"_

"_Ward. Tattoo."_

"_Ah… I was going to tell you…"_

"_I AM NOT MADE OF BONE CHINA! I AM __**NOT**__ THE ONE WHO CRIES AT THE LION KING! I AM NOT THE ONE WHO TURNED UP AT THE OTHER'S DOOR COATED IN BLOOD, WITH THREE BROKEN RIBS AND A PUNCTURED LUNG!"_

_Cap sidled over to Iron Man._

"_What should we do?"_

"_Well, let's not interfere because I'm recording this and it is __**so**__ going on YouTube."_

_Loki was blushing._

"_I worry…"_

"_You __**worry**__? __**You**__ worry!? I never know if you're calling me because you're bored, you want to talk or you need me to come and rescue you from a frost giant!"_

"_I only did that once…"_

"_Once too many."_

"_**You**__ rely on me to teleport you out…"_

"_**I**__ have never driven someone insane for flirting with you."_

"_About that…"_

"_Nor have I locked down your entire operations because you gave me the cold shoulder for the previous infringement."_

"_You're mortal! I always think you're going to die!"_

"_I'm a lot tougher than I look, Loki! I survived vivisection as a teenager! I am __**quite**__ capable of doing what I do."_

"_Ahh! Of all the billions of mortals and thousands of gods in the world, why do I have to fall in love with the most infuriating one of all!?"_

"_AND WHY DO I HAVE TO- Wait, did you just say __**love**__?"_

_Everyone went totally silent. Loki's face was going bright red._

"_No I didn't."_

"_Yes you did."_

"_I was upset and confused."_

"_Quoting you, 'People are more inclined to tell the truth under stress'."_

"_Now…"_

_Her arms were crossed and she was tapping her foot._

"_Truth. Or. Bust."_

"_Er… Can we do this elsewhere? My galootish brother is laughing at me."_

_She glanced over._

"_Fine. Oh, and Iron Man?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_You do know that I won't appear on the recording and I doubt Loki will either."_

_They vanished in a bubble of green light and Tony started swearing._

xXx

_The boy shook his head._

"_I get to kill the Avengers. They killed my dad."_

_The red-haired girl laughed bitterly._

"_Your dad was a two-bit criminal who fell of a fifth-storey rooftop running away from the crime. If anyone gets to kill the Avengers, it's me."_

"_Why __**you**__?"_

_She glanced at him then snarled._

"_Because the Avengers destroyed my whole family. They were supposed to be my mother's friends but they killed her right in front of my eyes when I was eight years old because they thought she was too dangerous to live. She wasn't even expecting it. She was showing me how to paralyze someone and they shot her right through the heart, beheaded her and then burnt her body to ashes. My dad went on the run with me, my brother Curt, my sister Laura and Curt's girlfriend Jubilee. We tried to reach my brother, Jamie, who was with the FF. We were too late. My annoying, genius brother was a threat and the Avengers sieged the Baxter Building for him. The FF refused to hand him over, even when their own family was threatened. And my brother crept out to keep them safe. The Avengers destroyed him. They took my brother, the smartest ten-year-old who ever lived, who got quantum theory and could beat Reed Richards at chess aged five and they messed around with his brain before handing him back to the FF. Jamie will spend the rest of his life getting excited about sorting blocks by colour. He's got the mind of an infant now."_

_She gulped slightly._

"_My dad was captured after we'd been on the run for a month. He's still locked up in the Avengers Tower. Aunt Wanda is kept under house arrest by her own brother. The X-Men were forcibly disbanded. Curt and Laura kept us running for three years. They were good at keeping us safe. Then we were hiding in an abandoned church and they attacked us. Laura was killed before she even had time to shout a warning. Curt was getting me out when Jubilee –his girlfriend who happened to be a vampire- was trapped by the crucifix. Curt had a choice. He could escape with me or go back for Jubes. He was going to help me but then Captain America –the guy who used to play peek-a-boo with me when I was just a kid- held a vial of holy water over her head. Curt went back for her and they started ringing the church bells. It ripped the symbiote from him. Drove him insane. He's in a maximum security mental asylum. Jubilee is Hank Pym's vampire specimen for experimentation."_

_She looked down, eyes watering slightly._

"_I went to one of the X-Men. Beast took me in but they found out. I only just got out when Iron Man destroyed the house. Storm offered to take me in but the Black Panther found out and she ended up trapped in the Wakandan palace. She can't leave. I stopped going for help after that. The Young Avengers found me and I thought they were going to turn me in but they voted and agreed they owed Maman enough to keep me safe. Teddy offered to take me to the Skrull Empire where I'd be safe but I refused. Billy decided to break out Xixy and thought if we told the K'Meer that their Prince was being held prisoner by the people who killed their god then we'd have help. They decided to break out Xixy and send me with him to M'Keer to raise a force to help rescue everyone else. It was a trap. Patriot had been feeding info to the Avengers and when we tried to rescue Xixy, they diluted his plasma form so much he died. The Young Avengers were taken prisoner but Billy managed to teleport me away and I was on my own. I was thirteen. I've been training for the last three years and now I'm ready. I'm going to kill every last Avenger. Maman deserves that much. I am going to avenge my mom and my dad and my brothers and my sister and Uncle Hank and Aunt 'Ro and the Young Avengers and Uncle Xix. I am going to destroy the Avengers."_

"_How do you plan to do that?"_

_She laughed._

"_Why do you think the Avengers kept going after me? When they killed Maman, I got her power."_

_She got up, her amber eyes sparking dangerously._

"_And Dragon wants vengeance as well. We will rip through the Avengers like a tidal wave. They won't know what hit them."_

_And then Eva Etana Logan laughed._

"_They were so stupid! The prophecy said that Dragon would destroy them. It didn't mean Maman. It meant me. They brought about their own doom."_

_And deep inside Eva's soul, the few shreds of Tora that remained wept for the lost innocence of her daughter._

* * *

><p>"Oh, the poor dears."<p>

"Death, you are sounding alarmingly human right now."

"You two are rubbing off on me."


	216. Exclusive

**Memories**

Exclusive

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

The article was in the papers two days later, entitled most commonly "Day With a Dragon", despite it being closer to two and a half hours.

_After being dragged through eighteen security checks, I'm finally allowed into the room where Dragon is held. She's sitting in a chair reading a book in Russian and when I enter, she apologises for not getting up. When I've walked around to the front of the chair, I see why as she's held in position with a metal band around her waist. When she notices me looking at it, she explains in a cheerful tone that if she attempts to break it, one of the numerous smart guns around the wall will shot her with enough tranqs to kill an elephant. I introduce myself and she calmly tells me to call her Tora. I sit and a young SHIELD agent brings in drinks. Dragon thanks her by name and then inhales deeply._

"_Sorry, I have a psychosomatic addiction to coffee. It's a peril of working on a team. There's always the team leader who makes it their business to wake you at two for an emergency, unscheduled training exercise."_

_She laughs and I feel slightly surprised that a woman in her situation –charged with numerous counts of brainwashing, embezzlement and espionage- can be so calm. She obviously senses my discomfort._

"_They treat me well here. Bring books, stuff to do. I can still teach via a web link. They let me move about enough. Being held at the waist isn't too bad."_

_I ask her if she refers to her childhood as an experiment-cum-weapon. She frowns, then starts talking swiftly, in a very emotionless tone._

"_The room was tiny. If I stood in the centre and held my arms out, I'd be able to touch both walls. There was a thin iron shelf for me to sleep on and when I sat there, I was expected to raise my hands above my head, for the cuffs, which were anchored in the wall. If I didn't heal, my wrists would have been worn to the bone with sores. I was there for years. Nothing to see, nothing to do, no idea of the concept of 'imagination'. There's no real doubt that's why I started to go crazy."_

_I ask her about this 'craziness'. In return, she hold out her arms, palms up, for me to examine. When I look closer, I find old scars on her wrists, very faint but apparently quite deep. She quickly shakes her sleeves over her wrists again and fixes me with an unreadable stare._

"_That's what happens when death seems a better option than living. They think nothing wrong with cutting you open, but when you try it yourself, they punish you."_

_She refuses to go further into detail but pointedly picks up her book to continue reading. When I ask her what she's reading she smiles._

"_War and Peace. Never quite got round to it before. It's been one of those things I keep promising myself I'll read."_

_When I ask if it's actually in Russian, she nods._

"_I used to speak fluent Russian but after an incident that resulted in a major loss of knowledge, I had to relearn it. This is the biggest challenge I've tried so far."_

_I ask about the memory loss and she taps the side of her head, grinning._

"_Best thing left by the Weapon Plus (here she uses a French word I'm not going to repeat). Tiny microprocessors with backing storage. Results in eidetic memory. But there was an…incident… which resulted in most of my memory chips being wiped. Luckily, I'm responsible and kept regular backups."_

_She seems remarkably relaxed and then I ask her about her tenures on the X-Men and New Avengers. She seems embarrassed._

"_Don't get me wrong, I get on well with the New Avengers –I count them as close friends, very close friends, because we've been through so much together- but the X-Men are family. We don't have the major team shifts that the Avengers used to have. We've always defined ourselves as X-Men first. I always feel you have a certain kinship with those who you've shared Dr Doom's torture chamber with. It's usually rather amusing as we all volunteer to be tortured first to protect the others. I miss that…"_

_I ask her if she is referring to the well-publicised split between Cyclops and Wolverine and whether she could shed light on the reasons behind it. She sighs._

"_We ended up torn between how we started out –as a school, training young mutants how to control their gifts or as a separate species, kept apart and forever living on the edge. There were…other variables…but I don't feel they should be shared. Family feuding should stay inside the family, don't you think?"_

_Finally I touch on her outburst at the trial, where it was revealed that she has children. She sighs and touches her head, inhaling deeply as if to calm herself._

"_Yes, I have kids. No, I don't like talking about them. They've been attacked before by people trying to hurt me. The closest I've ever come to killing someone was when they hurt them."_

_She hangs her head down._

"_It changes how you see the 'hero' game. Before, it was all or nothing. Now, it's what keeps the kids safe. I don't take as many risks now. I'm always terrified that something will happen and I won't be able to get home to put them to bed. There was a period when they'd refuse to go to bed unless one of us was home to tell them a story."_

_She looks tired and presses her fingers to her eyes._

"_I always feel guilty if I leave to do X-Men or Avengers stuff, despite knowing the babysitters are more than capable. And then I feel guilty for wanting to spend more time with my kids instead of stopping Thanos or Galactus or whoever's attacking Manhattan or Washington today."_

_She shrugs._

"_I know I've not been the best parent. I know I've often had to run off in the middle of birthdays or important milestones. I missed my daughter's first steps because I was running around the world trying to find Cable and Hope, to protect them. My son… He was taken from me by those who wished to hurt me and he ended up…changed… I lost a baby. He came back a teenager, forcibly aged. He was trained to be a killer. That's what I'm trying to protect children from. I failed."_

_She hunches herself into a small ball and refuses to talk for a while. I begin to gain an idea of the immense stresses she lives under. When I later talk to the Avengers psychiatrist, he almost gleefully points to three shelves which he claims are his file notes on Dragon. According to him, she is a highly complex individual with a great deal of responsibility on her shoulders._

"_And that's all I'm allowed to tell you without breaching client confidentiality."_

_When she eventually starts talking again, we mainly discuss 'safe' topics until I get onto Magneto. To my surprise, she smiles fondly._

"_He's a good man. 'The dream was good. The dreamer was corrupted.' He was trying to prevent the next Holocaust –not many people know this, but he has a tattoo on his arm. 24005. And I can see from your face you know what that means. Do you know what they made him do, when he was __**twelve**__? He was a Sonderkommando. He shovelled his family's bodies into the furnaces. And now he tries to prevent that happening to our kind. And somewhere, he lost his way. It is good to have him on our side now. He was always kind to me. Even when we were enemies, he treated me better than others have."_

_She smiles again._

"_He is a good man. A good man…"_

_She lapses into her own thoughts for a while then looks at me, obviously waiting for the next question. As she does, her fingers play with the two rings on her left hand. When I ask her about her husband, she shakes her head._

"_We've never gone public. There's a reason behind that. We'd been defined as one of a set. To us, our private life is private."_

_We talk some more, mainly me attempting to get onto another subject. Then I ask her further about her outburst at the trial, where she accused Jennifer Walter of betraying her trust. Surprisingly, she smiles then recites, in a sing-song tone;_

"But the Woman that God gave him, every fibre of her frame

Proves her launched for one sole issue, armed and engined for the same;

And to serve that single issue, lest the generations fail,

The female of the species must be deadlier than the male.

She who faces Death by torture for each life beneath her breast

May not deal in doubt or pity—must not swerve for fact or jest.

These be purely male diversions—not in these her honour dwells—

She the Other Law we live by, is that Law and nothing else….

She is wedded to convictions—in default of grosser ties;

Her contentions are her children, Heaven help him who denies!—

He will meet no suave discussion, but the instant, white-hot, wild,

Wakened female of the species warring as for spouse and child.

Unprovoked and awful charges—even so the she-bear fights,

Speech that drips, corrodes, and poisons—even so the cobra bites,

Scientific vivisection of one nerve till it is raw…

And Man knows it! Knows, moreover, that the Woman that God gave him

Must command but may not govern—shall enthral but not enslave him.

And _She_ knows, because _She_ warns him, and Her instincts never fail,

That the Female of Her Species is more deadly than the Male."

_She smiles at me a trifle disturbingly before cheerfully asking me if I have any other questions about anything interesting she said. I ask her about the Dragon and she whistles._

"_Why did you have to pick the question I can't answer without having to use 12 dimensions for the dummies version? Right, the Dragon is like… like an embodiment of the past. Old life, old ways, old things. The Phoenix is like an embodiment of the future. New life, new ways, new things. But you have to have a balance between them. I'm going to have to use the medieval metaphor, aren't I? Right. You have a town with a lot of old, 15__th__/16__th__ century buildings. You don't want to tear them all down, because they're an important cultural mark. But you don't want to live in them like you __**are**_ _a medieval person. You need __**balance**__."_

_When I ask her why the Dragon couldn't simply stop the Phoenix from ever destroying anything, she asks me if I am familiar with Robert Frost's poem '_Fire and Ice_'._

"_It's kind of like that," she explains, moving her hands in a circular motion._

"_Too much Phoenix is like a never-ending summer. You burn to death. Too much Dragon, never-ending winter. Everything freezes and dies. You cannot move on and forget the past but you must not live there."_

_She starts humming a tune that I recognise as Simon & Garfunkel's "I Am A Rock". When I ask her about it, she shrugs._

"_A friend got me onto them. You have to realise I had no idea of their cultural significance. I walked in on her listening to this song. We got talking about the words –we both identified with it; me because that's how I grew up, shielding myself from the world. I cared and was hurt because of it. In her case, she spent so long being aloof then she fell in love. And she lost him. She retreated into herself. Why bother loving, when those you love just wither and die? I think we found out more about each other in that half-hour discussion than I ever found out before or after."_

_She smiles sadly._

"_She was a good woman. Just…difficult to get on with. She was practical. Too good at what we do. She'd get impatient with us all. You could always rely on her. To be there to rescue you and make a sarcastic remark. In fact, I picked up a lot of bad habits from her… Sarcarms, heavy on the irony, a love of classical music played exceptionally loudly at two am, British comedy and sci-fi… She seems to have been the one who introduced me to most of the things my teams despair of. Except coffee. I got hooked on that myself."_

_When I ask who she is talking about, she points at a photo album set out ready._

"_Third page."_

_The photo is one of Professor Xavier sitting next to a tall woman who at best description looks almost demonic. Ink black skin, huge black feathered wings, long silver-grey hair and totally grey eyes. When I comment on her Angel of Death appearance, Dragon giggles as if I made a joke._

"_Yes, you could say that. That's Justice's Shadow. Or Death's Left Hand. Or the Darkwing. Or the Fallen Angel. Or just Etana Bat Aleka. She kind of collected titles. We think she was one of the first mutants. Or at least, one of the longest-lived. Considering her appearance, that was pretty impressive. She claimed to have nightmares about being tied to a stake."_

_When I ask where this Etana is, Tora slumps._

"_She died. She was the mutant who took the Legacy Virus cure. She was already dying. She knew it. I knew it. So she decided that rather than let herself die a shade of what she once was, she was going to die doing what she always did. Saving lives. She was a good person, even if she didn't believe herself to be. She made mistakes when she was younger –back when she was in her fifties- and they haunted her the rest of her life. You'd think after the first two hundred years, she'd have made up for it, but no, she had to keep on being the Lonely Angel for three thousand years. Okay, she kind of terrified a whole geographical area as an assassin and spy for the king, but she owed him her life! She severed all ties with home and left, knowing she could never go back. She became a nomad, who would save lives and flee before she could be killed as a demon."_

_She sighs._

"_And then it turns out she had all these secrets that we're still trying to sort out. I mean, come __**on**__! Who spends eight months working with Michelangelo and keeps a detailed diary and doesn't publish it!? She does, apparently!"_

_She rolls her eyes._

"_I could rant all the time about her stupidity. I mean, come on, you fall in love, the guy vanishes for sixty years and when he comes back, you deliberately avoid him! She didn't do emotions properly and always took this creepy 'I know more than you' view on everything. You'd think spending a lot of time with someone from the future so you're pretty good at guessing accurately what's going to happen next would make you cheerful. It doesn't. It makes you depressing and capable of talking in riddles all the time. Why!? Why did you have to be such a sarcastic, ironic, snarky know-it-all!"_

_She sighs and we're about to go onto another subject when a SHIELD agent informs me that my interview time is up. Dragon says goodbye, picks up her book and then asks, as I leave, when she will be able to see her children._

_I'm allowed to stay for a while, talking to others. As I leave, a man stands up, carrying a chess set under one arm and a set of records under the other. I admit I give a double take when I realise it's Magneto. When I later talk to a SHIELD agent, they cheerfully tell me that he's been coming to visit her every day since she was allowed to speak with others. Other frequent visitors include Daredevil, Shadowcat and the White Queen. Captain Rogers is described as 'turning up every day and being ignored for half an hour'. As I leave, I watch the Scarlet Witch attempting to traverse the multitude of security checks. Whatever Dragon may have done, intentional or not, it appears she still has friends._

* * *

><p>"Oh, you could always rely on Urich to give a decent spin on things."<p> 


	217. Rien de Rein

**Memories**

Rien de Rien

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Magneto lifted the records.

"Shall I? Any one in particular?"

"Don't care."

He slid one out of its sheaf, placed it on the gramophone provided for his visits and set the needle in place. Édith Piaf's voice rang out.

_Non…rien de rien  
>Non, je ne regrette rien<br>Ni le bien…qu'on m'a fait  
>Ni le mal…tout ça m'est bien égale…<em>

Tora raised an eyebrow.

"Very…controversial, Max."

He set out the chessboard and handed her the kings.

"The usual?"

She held her hands behind her back then brought them round. He pointed at her left. She opened it, to prove it empty. She grinned.

"Blind guess then?"

Hands back behind her then out again. Magneto bit his lip them pointed at her right. She opened it to reveal the white king.

"You play white."

"I'll just turn the music up, shall I?"

_Non... rien de rien  
>Non... je ne regrette rien<br>C'est payé, balayé, oublié  
>Je me fous du passé...<em>

He moved the first pawn. Tora responded and then he spoke, so quietly the microphones, deafened by the music, couldn't pick it up.

"Have you considered Scott's offer?"

Tora frowned, moved a knight.

"What, that he 'liberates' me and I go on the run with him, gathering new mutants?"

_Avec mes souvenirs  
>J'ai allumé le feu<br>Mes chagrins, mes plaisirs  
>Je n'ai plus besoin d'eux<em>

Max nodded, barely perceptible.

"I would like for you to come with us. It would make being stuck with Summers and Frost bearable."

"Max, you flatter me. But no."

_Balayées les amours  
>Avec leurs trémolos<br>Balayés pour toujours  
>Je repars à zéro<em>

He sighed.

"I didn't think you would. But why? Why stay here, where the humans will sentence you?"

"For the same reason you once stood trial. To show I can atone."

"They will show you no mercy."

He moved a bishop, taking one of her pawns.

_Non... rien de rien  
>Non... je ne regrette rien<br>Ni le bien, qu'on m'a fait  
>Ni le mal, tout ça m'est bien égale<em>

"Max, I have to do this."

"Please, don't."

"If I run, I look like a coward."

"You are no coward. You are one of the bravest people I know."

Black rook took bishop.

"I have to do this."

_Non, rien de rien  
>Non... je ne regrette rien<br>Car ma vie... car mes joies...  
>Aujourd'hui... ça commence avec toi...<em>

"Tora…"

The music sputtered out. He stood to change the record.

"Holst? The Planet Suite? Or Vivaldi's Seasons?"

"Planets, _s'il vous plait_."

"If I've told you once, I've told you twenty times. You call me Max. I am _tu_, not _vous_."

"Thank you."

The music began again. This time, they played in silence.

Two hours late, when the white rook finally managed to checkmate the black king, Magneto stood up.

"Well, it has been nice, Tora."

"Yes. It has. Look after yourself, Max."

Unspoken goodbyes. He was going with Scott. Underground, recruiting. She was stuck here. Possibly forever. She reached out a hand.

"I'll see you soon."

A lie.

He shook it.

"I look forward to it."

A truth.

Then he raised two fingers to his lips, kissed them and pressed them to her forehead.

"Look after yourself."

She gently folded her hands around his.

"I will if you do, Max. Good luck."

* * *

><p>"How <strong>sweet<strong>."

"Jean?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

* * *

><p>"Ms Circen, can you explain why you were prepared to lie in this trial, to the detriment of your own case?"<p>

Tora looked up, her eyes dark.

"The Avengers are needed. What I could have said would destroy them. The world needs them more than it needs me."

"Will you comment on any of the things you talked about?"

"No."

"Why not."

"They are not my secrets to tell."

"Ms Circen, you do understand that refusing to talk severely impairs your chance for a fair trial?"

"It is already impaired."

"Excuse me, Ms Circen?"

"I am mutant. By that stance, I am inferior in the eyes of almost everyone here. I was condemned by my blood before any word was spoken."

"Ms Circen, why do you think this?"

Tora glared at Jen then spoke in a biting, sarcastic tone that those who knew her quivered at. She was about to go that little too far.

"Oh, let's think. Tortured and turned into a weapon as a child, because I was a mutant. Oh, aged twenty-one, forced to leave my home and go undercover because, and I quote 'HYDRA doesn't vet the muties as thoroughly'. Oh yes, there was that case when my home was attacked and people tried to force me to register like I was an animal. And then there were all the death threats and the FOH and Purifier and Reaver attacks which made me feel that maybe people don't like me too much. Oh, and then our children were massacred and we ended up cut down to less than 200 individuals and some of the former mutant children were killed in a cowardly attack on our school and then we were herded into a reservation and then someone blew up our home. We leave and go elsewhere. We are forced to leave even there because people attack us once more. We live on an island, separated from you and then, surprise surprise, we get attacked by Nimrods and people **die**. Then Sentinels again. And not just any Sentinel. The Sentinel was sent to attack our children when our fighters were gone. Then when I leave that death-trap of an island, I get attacked by school inspectors turned into a Wendigo and a pterodactyl, my home is attacked some thirty times and then when we have a bat's chance in hell of **not** being teetering on the edge of extinction anymore, we get told we can't do anything to save ourselves. Yes, I think I've got a reason to be a bit paranoid, don't you?"

She crossed her arms.

"I rest my case on that point."

There was a long, awkward silence. Then Jen turned.

"Permission to adjourn?"

* * *

><p>"Typical."<p>

* * *

><p>"Are you <strong>trying<strong> to get yourself in deeper trouble than you already are!?"

Tora shrugged. Madrox swore.

"I'm trying my best! Walters is handing you this on a silver platter! All you have to do is be nice and cheerful and compliant and they'll **have** to acquit you! But no, you have to be difficult! As always!"

"Madrox, has it occurred to you that I **want** to lose?"

"WHY!?"

"Because if I lose, I can't hurt anyone else! I'm terrified, Madrox! I'm scared senseless of what I could do, what I **did**! I don't remember any of it and what if I fall again!? What then? You've already proved yourselves hopeless against me! If the Negative Zone is the only place strong enough to hold me, then so be it!"

"They shut down 42!"

"They're talking about reopening it."

"WHAT!?"

"Everyone knows the Raft isn't secure. And any hero sent there is dead within a few hours. Better stick me in 42."

"You mean, they're talking about reopening the prison in the Negative Zone, just for you?"

She nodded.

"Won't be the first time something like that's happened elsewhere."

"Tora, this isn't helping."

She shrugged.

"I promised I wouldn't reveal Avengers secrets. And I keep promises."

"At the detriment of justice?!"

"If it is to me, then yes."

He swore again.

* * *

><p>"That is so…<strong>her<strong>!"

"Yes, Phoenix, I think she was always 'her'."

"I hate you, you stuck-up, know-it-all, stubborn…"

"Phoenix, this **is** her realm. I think she is entitled to be sarcastic if she wishes."

"Death, take my side on this!"

* * *

><p>Wanda shifted in her seat. This was going to be…awkward, to say the least…<p>

"You are Wanda Maximoff, also known as the Scarlet Witch?"

"Yes."

"Address given here as 890 Fifth Avenue, Manhattan, New York?"

"That is my official residence, yes."

"But you don't live there?"

"I've been avoiding it."

"Why?"

"My relationship with the Avengers is…complicated."

"In what way?"

"I don't know where to start."

"Start from the beginning then."

"I hope you have get an aspirin allowance. This is going to be complicated. I was born in Wungadore. Delivered by a cow-woman named Boga…"

Three hours later; her voice was hoarse, the judge had a glazed look in his eyes and Tora looked as if she was only just withholding giggles.

"So… You are saying that… You used a demonic pact with your probability altering powers to create children, who were later absorbed and the Avengers wiped your memory of ever having children to spare you grief and then –after your robot-"

"Android."

"Your **android** husband lost his ability to feel emtions and your marriage fell apart, you remembered, went insane with grief, made a pact with Dr Doom, caused the deaths of a number of Avengers, depowered almost the entirety of the mutant population, vanished and then Dragon saved you, brought you back and the Avengers and X-Men were about to fight each other over you but Dr Doom attacked and Dragon saved everyone? Then she was admitted to a mental retreat, came back, was kidnapped, brainwashed, broke the brainwashing and then was shot by Mr Stark, resulting in, and I quote, 'a great big mess, with her mind being eaten from the inside out'? You healed her and Ms Summers, restarted the mutant race and now she doesn't remember anything?"

Wanda nodded.

"That's the gist of it."

"And you also accuse the Avengers and the X-Men of considering killing you after you broke up the Avengers? And that Dragon was the only one to speak up for you?"

She nodded.

"Why do you think this was?"

"Because she lost a child once as well. She knew what it felt like."

"Would you care to expand?"

"I'm not too sure of the details. But it was kind of like… She was attacked, causing her to go into premature labour. Her twins were taken to be placed in an incubator and somehow –we're not sure we'll ever know how- Weapon Plus faked the death of her son and took him to be trained as a weapon. It almost destroyed her. I was just beginning to remember myself. I tried to reach out to her, but I couldn't. None of us could. It almost destroyed her. But she was stronger than I was and pulled through. I didn't."

She looked over at Tora.

"I owe her my life, a thousand times over. She stood up for me, defended me, placed herself against those she called her family for one who hasn't exactly been the best of friends to her."

"What do you mean?"

"I was never there for her when she needed me. She always stood beside me but I let her suffer. She is the one I trust above all else. She is my sister, not through blood but by choice and by shared pain."

Tora looked at her, a smile teasing the corner of her lips. Wanda looked defiant.

"Tora did nothing she wasn't forced into."

* * *

><p>"Remind me to thank the Griffin when I next see it."<p>

"Phoenix, why would you want to thank it for that?"

"I don't know. I just feel that is what I should do."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N.<strong> Well, hopefully you can understand all the slow updates. I've just been working quite a lot and it appears to have payed off, as I'm Dux (like the valedictorian, only we don't give a speech) and Memories has sort of been sidelined by all the work I've been putting in it. I would promise more regular updates but I've got to finish courses and then I have my first exam in a months time. Wait a bit, and I'll hopefully get back up to speed on updates._


	218. Animal

**Memories**

Animal

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Tora tilted her head to one side, listening to the people who did not know her, had never met her, calling her a threat and a monster and an animal. At the last one, she leapt up angrily.

"I'd rather be an animal if humanity is so cruel it tortured my son and denied him a childhood for who his parents were!"

"Ms Circen, sit down!"

But she was crying, hot angry tears.

"Do you know what it feels like? To reach out for a child and be told he's too weak to be held? To beg to be allowed to see him and be told you can't? To be told he died? To live with the knowledge that the child who **was** alive –who you felt living inside you, sustained by you- is never going to be held in your arms? And then to find out that he was taken and turned into a killer! **If that is humanity, then I take the label animal proudly**!"

She felt Madrox wrestle her back to her seat, felt his arm wrap awkwardly around her, trying to comfort her. But she was simply sitting there, thinking of what it felt like, remembering back to that horrific moment when the doctor had entered the room and quietly told her that her son was dead. The moment the bottom fell out of her world and she didn't know what to say, do, think. She was numb. No, not numb. Anaesthetised. Unable to breathe. Unable to feel anything but the rising fear, cold spiralling from the pit of her stomach. Cold. So very cold. Ice and burning. She felt herself shaking. Forced herself to think of Curt, sitting quietly in the back of the room with Tommy Shepherd, her funny little –only not so little now- boy, all quietly competent and calm. But the walls were closing in. She couldn't breathe. Was this how Ororo felt when she was in a small space? Trapped, unable to move? She shivered even more and hunched into the seat, trying to make herself appear small, less of a threat. Not working. After all, a wolverine is a small animal, yet one of the most dangerous. A lynx is not the biggest cat but can easily kill a much larger prey animal. The most poisonous serpents weren't always the biggest. She was slender and light-footed, a perfect predator. And these people knew that. They knew she was faster than them, stronger than them. They knew that she was more than they were. And so they made her less.

She ignored the others then leant over to Madrox.

"Do I actually have to be here?"

He nodded and she sighed.

"Tora, this is important. You shouldn't be trying to get out of it."

"It's always important. Is this really more important than reading my daughter a bedtime story?"

He made a face.

"What **do** you read her?"

She shrugged minutely.

"Depends. She definitely likes Harry Potter and she absolutely adores The Hobbit. Of course, I rather think Logan's taken to reading her the Monty Python scripts when it's his turn."

She returned her intense gaze back on the ceiling. Multiple Man sighed quietly. It was disconcerting. That gaze that seemed to strip you bare. He could handle it if it was just Dragon. But no, it had always been a part of Tora, that look that told you that she knew you better than you knew yourself. It put people off her.

Then he leapt up, raising an objection to a comment.

* * *

><p>"Oh, that <strong>look<strong>! It always scared people."

* * *

><p>She said still, ignoring them all then started when she heard her name. She'd been 'Ms Circen' so long, she'd forgotten her own name. Steve…<p>

"Tora has been a trusted member of the New Avengers for almost a year. However, in retrospect, asking her to join wasn't the best move at the time."

She-Hulk leant forward.

"Can you explain why?"

"She had gone through a period of extreme emotional upheaval. Her best friend was killed and she was still trying to cope with it. We piled more and more on top of her until it was obvious she was going to snap under the pressure."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the psychiatrist warned us. She was diagnosed with PTSD. She made out it was no big thing but…well, with Tora, you never know if she's trying to make life easier for everyone. We found out after three months that she'd been lying to us all about how much sleep she was getting. Less than four hours a week because she was crossing from San Francisco to New York and back again as often as she could."

"She was diagnosed with PTSD and no one intervened?"

"Well, we weren't certain. Tora often ignores herself in favour of others. She'd push her own problems aside to help others. No one could take on other's causes like she could."

"She remained on the team, despite being diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder?"

"We weren't entirely certain. And from previous experience, Tora has always worked to get over things like this alone."

"She has had mental disorders before?"

"She was diagnosed with post-natal depression about three years ago."

"You let a woman with a history of depression and suicide attempts on the Avengers?"

"I never said suicide attempts!"

"Would you care to comment on her statement that she tried to kill herself before?"

"She was being tortured. I think anyone would try and kill themselves after that."

"Captain Rogers, were you ever worried about the mental health of Ms Circen?"

"Yes. Especially after she was kidnapped…"

"Captain Rogers?"

Steve looked down. Tora rolled her eyes. She knew him well enough to realise he was playing to the crowd. It would be a bit of a surprise to most, that squeaky-clean Captain America could be Machiavellian in character but he **had** been around politics since he was twenty.

"She refused to talk about it. We…we know that she was brainwashed. They made her doubt everything she ever was. And then… We…we…we think that one of the captors tried to make her think…think that they were…together…"

10 out of 10 for awkward forties morals. 2 out of 10 for authenticity. Well, to Tora anyway.

"She…she wouldn't say anything but we think that they might have…tried to…"

He trailed off and looked up.

"She seemed better before that. And then she just…slipped…"

"Slipped?"

"It was like all the progress she had made was lost. She retreated into herself. It was like we got her back but she still doubted herself."

Tora turned her head away. Steve and Jen had rehearsed this. She sounded harsh, searching. He sounded like a man who had made mistakes and was torn between protecting a friend and telling the truth or abandoning her and painting himself in a positive light. Naughty, naughty, Stevie-Boy.

"We didn't know what to do. She was so alone. We couldn't help her. She wouldn't let us."

"Why not?"

"Because we couldn't talk. She kept saying she hadn't time and would run off to do something else. Lack of communication. We thought the X-Men were talking with her. They thought we were. We failed her."

He turned his head away.

"We didn't know how to help and we never asked."

The judge leant forward.

"I think we could do with hearing this from a psychiatrist, Captain Rogers."

"Well, Dr Stevens is here."

"Bring him in."

* * *

><p>"Stevens?"<p>

"After Samson died, SHIELD brought him in to counsel Avengers and he became something of a fixture."


	219. Minds

**Memories**

Minds

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"You are Dr Timothy Stevens, yes?"

The man nodded, then looked around.

"In the interests of client-confidentiality, I would like to ask that only those needed remain in the room."

"Dr Stevens!"

"What I'm going to talk about is incredibly personal. I don't think that it should be broadcast."

There was a hurried consultation then the decision.

"Will all but the jury, the attorneys and court officials please leave."

There were a few minutes of grumbling noise then silence. Dr Stevens looked over at Tora who was pointedly not looking at him. He cleared his throat.

"Ms…Circen…was referred to me when she first joined the New Avengers."

"What were your first impressions of her?"

"Taciturn… Irritable… Suffering a survivor's guilt complex… Possible schizophrenic, maybe suffering Dissociative Identity Disorder… Emotionally repressed… Highly intelligent… Very empathic, so the accusations of sociopathy are simply untrue… Still in Stage 2 of the Kübler-Ross grieving process, very angry, very upset and so throwing up blocks to keep out others. Quite a lot of self-hatred. Saw herself as a realist, but rather pessimistic."

He shrugged.

"Almost certainly suffering PTSD as a result of her childhood and recent life. In the space of about three years, some of her eldest friends died. I realised that she –bereft of relationships as a child- has a habit of forming enmeshed relationships. Those closest to her are relied on quite heavily. Take one of them away –they have a fight or one dies- and she can't cope."

He shrugged.

"She opened up later. Talked about her history with depression and how she felt her role as a mother defined her. However, she would refuse point-blank to answer questions on certain subjects."

"Such as?"

"The death of Nightcrawler, the Decimation of the mutants, her current emotional state. As the sessions increased, she appeared to become agitated, very nervous, almost scared. She had a breakdown and was kept in a secure psychiatric facility for a month. She came in for a few weeks and wouldn't talk then suddenly opened up. She admitted that she wanted to feel needed. To her, her identity is defined by how others rely on her. When asked to describe herself, she used words like 'wife', 'mother', 'teacher'. Never defining herself through her own eyes. She sees herself as she is to others."

"Any other observations you may have made, Dr Stevens?"

"She has difficultly separating Dragon from her everyday persona. She is defined as a hero. She cannot reconcile Tora the woman with Dragon the New Avenger. In her eyes they are one person and it is highly unhealthy for her to be living in a permanent state of confusion. She also admitted to having marital problems in that she only spoke to her husband about X-Men or Avengers related business. I mentioned a marriage counsellor but she reacted very negatively to that idea."

"Did she expand on her marriage problems?"

"Yes, but I don't feel that her marriage is a factor in this. Her marital problems stem from her other, much more serious mental problems. I mean, she's still probably suffering from her kidnapping…"

"Would you care to expand on this?"

"The first hint I had for how badly the event affected her was because she asked me to firstly come to the Jean Grey School and secondly, the appointment wasn't arranged. She has always given the impression that she only came to our meetings because it is Avengers policy for bimonthly therapy sessions."

"What was the result?"

"To begin with, she seemed very calm about the whole event but the further I delved, the more I found out that it had disturbed her. She –like I said before- defines herself by how others relate to her. Her captors made her believe her entire life was a lie and attempted to supplant another life for her. One of her captors… He –she refused to name him- made it appear as if he had a past relationship with her –a relationship ended only by her 'kidnapping' by the X-Men. From what she said, she had memories of an…explicit nature implanted as well as…emotions… She said that…well, he tried to 'restart' their 'relationship' and it was only her own deep-rooted unease that prevented his advances. All the progress she was making just… vanished."

"Dr Stevens, what would you say Ms Circen's current state of mind is?"

"I honestly can't say. When I tried to talk with her, she ignored my existence almost totally. Watching the surveillance footage suggested that she is horrified by what she did and incredibly pessimistic about her chances. She also suffers amnesia and is struggling to cope, especially with prolonged separation from her children."

Tora glanced over, head moving in a swift, predatory movement. Dr Stevens ignored her. Jen leant forward.

"Could you honestly say that Ms Circen was responsible for her actions?"

Dr Stevens shrugged.

"I'd definitely say diminished responsibility."

"Would you say she is insane?"

"No. Ill, yes. Insane, no. In fact, she has a very clear grasp on reality."

"Dr Stevens, would you allow Ms Circen to continue in a high stress environment such as the Avengers or X-Men?"

"Seeing as that appears to be her primary method of coping, yes."

"Meaning?"

"She uses her work on the New Avengers as a buffer from reality. Her 'normal' life gets too complex? Go and hide in the Avengers Mansion for a few hours. A form of escapism."

"Thank you, Dr Stevens."

There was ringing silence. He looked at Tora, but the woman didn't even glance in his direction.

"One more thing."

She glanced round, her eyes suddenly afraid.

"She's dying."

* * *

><p>Phoenix sighed.<p>

"I'd call that a major betrayal of trust."

"Actually, she saw it as that as well. Never spoke to him again."

* * *

><p>"Ms Circen, would you care to explain the nature of that last comment of Dr Stevens?"<p>

She looked up.

"I can't."

"Why not? Do you have a disease of some kind?"

She slowly shook her head.

"Ms Circen, could you please…"

"I'm dying! That's all anyone has to know! That's all that matters and I don't see why you care! I'm dying but I can hold it off until I'm no longer needed!"

"Ms Circen…"

Tora turned her head away but then a quiet, authorative voice spoke out.

"She was tied to another who is now dead. It is only strength of will that keeps her here."

"Who said that?!"

Strange stood up, lowering his head.

"I did. She is slowly dying and it is only a sense of duty to protect us and love for her children that she does not simply die."

Tora turned her head away.

"Can you explain, Dr Strange?"

"It's…difficult… to explain fully. Two people, who are not in love but nonetheless love one another unconditionally, who rely on one another to the point that bonding occurs so deeply that they impart something of themselves onto the other, something so vital to who they are that to kill one is to take from the other such an intregal part of their being that they will soon eventually fade."

"Fade, meaning…?"

"Slowly lose sight of what there is to live for, until eventually, there **is** nothing left to live for and they die."

"No."

They turned. Tora had her head down.

"Pardon?"

"That's not what it's like. It's… It's like someone has torn out a lung. You can't breathe properly. And then you look at those you love and it hurts because you know you will leave them when they need you most but you can do **nothing**. Because you feel dead inside and you can't cope because you look at those who need you and you can't be there for them because you're so weak."

Stephen looked over at her with the saddest of smiles.

"Grief is not a weakness."

* * *

><p>"Oh, but she'd never accept that."<p>

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N.<strong>__ Check out Marvel's Psyche Ward. It's quite interesting._


	220. Forgiveness

**Memories**

Forgiveness

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"Ms Circen, we feel that we have enough evidence. Sentencing will take place tomorrow."

"WAIT!"

Everyone turned to see a woman standing up. She looked nervous but then she spoke.

"I… I want to add something…"

Madrox and Walters exchanged the briefest of glances then nodded. The woman was named, sworn in and then she stood there nervously.

"I…I represent a group of… My daughter died six months ago. But eighteen months before that, Dragon came as part of the Make A Wish Project. She spent the entire day with my daughter and at the end of the day, she made me an offer. She offered to stop my daughter's pain, so she wouldn't live out the rest of her life either in agony or without feeling because of the painkillers were so strong. And I accepted. Of course I did. And as she left, I saw her wince. She hadn't said she'd **get rid** of the pain. She said **take** the pain. She lived with my daughter's pain and it made my daughter's last year and a half so much easier. And when I asked around, I found that at any one time, she would be likely to be carrying some ten or twelve children's pain. At the moment… At the moment… Do you mind if I check…? At the moment, she is carrying the pain of thirteen terminally-ill children, making their last few months and their time with their families infinitely better. And she takes the pain. All the pain, to protect these children she has no tie to."

She lowered her head down.

"I don't think someone who does that would be capable of the things you say she did. Thank you."

And Tora smiled sadly, gazing at the woman with a mixture of compassion and understanding.

* * *

><p>"How <strong>sweet<strong>."

"Well, Phoenix, you'll **love** the next bit."

* * *

><p>They hadn't seen each other since she had been dragged from him, still unconscious. They faced each other, not quite sure what to say and then they quietly slid into each other's arms. She buried her head in his chest and inhaled as he smoothed her hair and then she heard his voice, felt the rumble of his chest.<p>

"Steve's turned everything off."

She pulled back and frowned. He looked awkward.

"Sorry. Steve's turned off all surveillance. Apparently it's a right."

She smiled weakly.

"I've missed you."

"I missed you too."

She looked worried.

"How are-"

"The kids are **fine**. Missing you like crazy but fine. No one's tried to kill them. Seeing as all the worst villains know we have kids, why are we even trying to deny it?"

"Logan, I'm sorry about what Stevens said…"

"Look, I heard about that. Don't worry. He's got a way of making you say stuff doesn't he?"

She smiled softly and hugged him again.

"Logan… I…"

"Tora, we need to talk."

She frowned but gestured towards the seats. They sat facing each other and Logan looked exhausted.

"I know what Cyke offered you."

She stiffened.

"Logan, I wasn't…"

"If they sentence you tomorrow, I want you to go with him."

"Logan, I can't…"

"Wait. I'd rather have you out there, knowing you're not locked up with a load of people we put in the Raft in the first place. I know being on the run with Scott will be difficult but I've heard through the grapevine we've got going that he's planning to evacuate Utopia and start a new school. One that 'trains mutants to face what we're up against'. We've already had a number of his group jump ship to us. He lost a lot of friends with his treatment of this whole thing."

"I heard about Ororo…"

"I'd rather have you with him, keeping an eye on things there. I casually mentioned it to Steve –he'd rather have you there as a limiter than let Slim run around unchecked."

Tora shook her head.

"I'm not doing that. Steve has been talking **at** me for a while. He's got a good idea going. Even if I'm on the Raft, he wants me separate. Then –after about a month- he plans to stick me on the Thunderbolts. Gain back trust that way. Eventually he'll persuade his bosses to put me up for parole for good behaviour and use all the stuff I've done on the Thunderbolts to see if I can get released."

Logan swore.

"That'll take **years**! Everyone agrees Songbird's Avengers material now, but she was refused parole less than two weeks back!"

Tora shook her head.

"I have to do this legit. I can't just run. I have to earn back trust. The Thunderbolts get life easier than most of the Raft inmates and as Steve pointed out, they'll want someone who'll actually **care** about civilian casualties."

Logan closed his eyes.

"Steve said you'd been ignoring him."

"Logan, I'm very good at **appearing** to ignore people. Actually **doing** it is very difficult."

"So when you blanked me for two months…?"

"No, I actually **was** blanking you. I conditioned myself to be unable to hear you."

"Remind me not to annoy you."

"Logan, I think you know that well enough."

"Seriously? You want to go through the Thunderbolts?"

"Yes."

"You do know… You do know Poacher's on the Raft?"

She looked at him sharply.

"You think I'd forget that? She's kept in solitary all the time. They're more afraid of her than Crossbones."

"What if she tries to…?"

"Seriously? Frankly, all the inmates are as scared of her as the guards are. She has a history of… How shall I put this…? Ah, yes. A violent history. If she gets out, she's just as likely to attack an inmate as a guard. Didn't you **hear** what she did during the big breakout when the hammers hit?"

"No…"

"She almost killed one of the prisoners then tried to take Shroud's head off. Luckily, Pietro had just arrived and managed to save the poor guy."

"Shroud? Don't really…"

"Tall. Bit like Cloak, to tell the truth. A Darkforce but no teleportation. Blind?"

"Oh. Him."

"You haven't a clue who I'm talking about, do you?"

"Nope."

They laughed and suddenly the barriers were down. Tora reached out and her fingers brushed his chest.

"Steve said I hurt you…"

"It's nothing."

It wasn't. The scarring was light –the cuts hadn't been deep- but they were still there. On a man who healed, the pale white lines on his chest were a reminder of the fact he was still human. They had never threatened his life but the marks were more than that. Tora herself had inflicted them, a single broad strike across the chest when he attacked her. A mark of trust betrayed.

She shook her head.

"I still hurt you. That's why I have to do this properly. To prove to myself that I'm… This isn't about forgiveness, except that which I can give myself."

He touched her face.

"You're your own worst enemy, you know that?"

She nodded slightly.

"I have to be."

* * *

><p>Phoenix rolled her eyes.<p>

"That woman…"

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>I just saw Iron Man 3. Now through this computer, I shall hypnotize you into going. It is well worth it._


	221. Once More Unto the Breach

**Memories**

Once More Unto the Breach

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She sat in silence, waiting. What else could she do? She was helpless in this environment. Wait. Listen. And then, finally, the jury filing in. Some stared. Others refused to look at her. She expected that. She just wanted to retreat into the space between realities but she couldn't. She closed her eyes.

"Have you made your decision?"

"Yes."

She could feel her heart beating rapidly and the soul band on her left ring finger was tightening, believing Logan to be in peril.

"Whilst there is no doubt that the defendant, Ms Circen, committed the acts she has been charged with; due to the testimony of Hope Summers, Ms Circen's mental state and the fact she was not fully responsible for her actions, we find her not guilty of the kidnapping offence and not responsible for the other offences."

Tora started. That wasn't meant to happen! That wasn't meant…!

The judge looked down at her.

"However, I request that her alpha level security clearance, as befits a New Avengers member be downgraded to beta level and that her sessions with her psychiatrist are doubled. I would have also requested that she be removed from the Avengers Academy teaching role except for a request from Dr Pym."

Tora was shellshocked. No. Way. None of the signs… Everything had pointed… She **couldn't** be walking free… No… She **had** to be taken… She needed to be somewhere where no one could harm her... And then Tigra –in her human form- was waving from the stalls, a look of terror on her face. Tora mouthed 'What?' and Greer looked even worse. And then Pym was hurrying over, pushing his way in and looking embarrassed.

"Tora! The kids! They've been taken!"

And Tora –who had been determined to be taken- suddenly knew why she was free.

"Laura…"

"We need a tracker. Tora, you've got to help!"

She glanced over at Logan, who was frowning.

"Pym, get the dimensional door open, **now**."

"On it. Jocasta…"

And Tora ran straight into the Infinite Mansion, hoping against hope Logan would understand.

* * *

><p>Phoenix gasped.<p>

"Oh no… She loved Laura like she was her own child…"

"Yes. I think this was when the Avengers Academy saw exactly what she could be capable of. Rather unsurprisingly, it terrified them."

* * *

><p>Tora leant down and inhaled. She cursed softly.<p>

"What is it?"

"Lemon. They were teleported out."

"You mean we can't find them?"

She went bright red.

"**You** can't find them. Let's just say… I worry about Laura. A **lot**."

And she pulled out a phone, glancing up and down at it.

"Tora…?"

"Yes, Henry?"

"Did you plant a **tracker** on Laura?"

"I worry about her."

"You **track** her!"

Tora shrugged.

"She knows all about it. _Et voila_!"

The phone was beeping.

"Laura's activated the distress call. Three, two, one. Homed in. Oh…"

"What?"

"You got any Pym gates to Antarctica?"

"Of course. Four or five to the Savage Land, one to that old base of Magneto's… Why?"

Tora turned the phone over so they could see the map and the little red blip directly over Antarctica.

* * *

><p>"Oh, I <strong>hate<strong> Antarctica."

"Oh, Phoenix. I rather liked it."

"That's because you were never almost sacrificed to a T-Rex."

"I was almost dropped in a volcano, remember?"

"Oh. Yeah. That **was** funny…"

* * *

><p>"Jeanne…"<p>

"Go away."

"Finesse…"

"I said, go away."

"Listen, I **know** what happened between you and Laura. And you have to understand something. Laura is too like Logan. She **says** things in the heat of the moment that she doesn't **mean**."

"She was the only friend I ever had and she took that away from me."

Tora squeezed into the air duct and sat facing Finesse.

"Just because she said that, doesn't mean it's not true."

Finesse looked up, her eyes dark was sadness.

"She meant it."

"Jeanne, I've been known to tell those I love that I hate them. But it's never true. I still care for them deeply. And Laura misses your friendship."

Finesse glared at her.

"How do you know that?"

"Because I know Laura. And I never got to tell her that. I never got to tell her that to me, she is my daughter. And I love her as such. And I know what she means to you. To you she is your greatest, your only friend. So look me in the eye right now and tell me you don't want to help me save her."

Finesse looked at Tora. Tora stared right back.

"I will help."

Tora grinned.

"Good. You'll enjoy this. Lots of inventive moves I've been thinking up. Oh, and when we get back, remind me to fix your memory loss. I know it's starting. But I can stop it."

And she walked away before Jeanne could ask her how.

* * *

><p>Phoenix rolled her eyes.<p>

"She never could give a straight answer."

"Oh, and you were **so** good at that."

"Shut up."

"You shut up!"

Death sighed.

"You're bickering again."

* * *

><p>They were standing together, staring at the huge dome. Tora was the only one not wearing a thick coat, her bare arms covered in goose pimples. She frowned, pulled out binoculars then swore softly.<p>

"Hank, Greer. You ever run into an assassin named Arcade? Crazier than a box of frogs, obsessed with video games, created a deadly amusement park to kill people?"

Hank shook his head.

"Heard of him. Never crossed paths. Greer?"

"No. Sorry. Tora?"

Tora nodded curtly.

"He was one of the first villains I ever faced."

She looked up at them and there was something akin to fear in her eyes.

"He almost killed me."

"Tora…?"

She shrugged.

"He pumped me with enough tranquiliser to kill a herd of elephants then dumped me in with a load of killer robots with my face. I can't really remember it that well."

She shrugged.

"Okay. Greer, Jeanne. I need you two to find the control room. Hank, you're with me."

Tigra didn't look pleased.

"Why?"

Tora turned.

"Because the pair of you have the skills required to get into the control room. Hank and I are better for getting into the main section. We'll need you to get up through the air vents. And listen. You **can't** go in until I manage to distract Arcade enough for him to leave."

"What makes you think he will?"

Tora smiled harshly.

"I can make him come to me. It's not too hard. You just have to know what to say."

She tensed up.

"Trust me. Arcade is insane. But that makes him all the more dangerous. He's got an incredibly twisted sense of honour. If you beat Murderworld, he lets you leave. If not… Well, you're dead."

And she glanced at Hank.

"If you could be so kind as to get us there a little quicker."

He grew and let the three of them clamber into his hand. Four steps got them there. Then they shrank back down and Tora lightly leapt down, moving her hands along the dome.

"Air duct here. I'll open it for you."

A quick flash of claws and Tora inhaled.

"One second. I'll disable the security alarms."

A wave was sent up the metal pipe and she was swaying, moving her hands and then she smiled.

"Done. Up you go. See you."

She turned back to Hank.

"I need you small."

"Why? I can cover more…"

"Hank. Trust me. Arcade will only go for me. There's probably an entire ecosystem in there. You go Ant-Man, and while I distract him, you find our students."

He sighed then shrank down, allowing Tora to raise him up. He tangled himself into her hair and whispered into his comm unit

"Is this okay? Not too heavy?"

"Are you hidden?"

"Yes."

"Then it's fine."

Claws tore through the metal, into a sudden blast of heat. She entered what could almost be a rainforest, then turned around to heal up the wall. She heard Hank hiss.

"What are you doing?!"

"A sudden change in temperature could catch them unprepared. I can't afford that."

And with one of of the founding members of the Avengers clinging to her hair, and still dressed in the uniform she had on under the clothes she had worn to court, Tora set off into the jungle to rescue her daughter.

* * *

><p>Phoenix sighed.<p>

"She loved Laura with all her heart."

"She loved all her children –real and adopted- just the same."

"And that was what destroyed her."


	222. Vengeance and Justice

**Memories**

Vengeance and Justice

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Tora froze and then she ran forward, hoping against hope that the body she saw destroyed on the ground wasn't who she **thought** it was. And then she caught the scent.

"KEN!"

She knelt down and pressed her fingers into the dirt. Ken… Big, gentle, kind Mettle; incapable of hurting anyone. She closed her eyes slowly.

"Hank."

He didn't answer. In shock probably. He cared for his students a lot more than he liked to let on.

"Hank, you have to go. I'm about to try something very dangerous."

She felt something tiny leave her hair, saw the ants. Then she stood and held out her hands.

"Come on, you stupid reptile. Don't let me down."

She felt the power rush to the fore. Too long to do the simple 'heal the body, let the soul come rushing back in'. She had to do this the more difficult way.

"**Thanata scri mana kor tasa ma norma…**"

The chant was ancient. Binding and full of power. The Old Tongue; calling and ordering; binding the being in charge of Mettle's soul to Tora's will.

And in the centre of the circle of water, a pillar of fire. Black and silver and a figure began to slowly form. But unlike she normally appeared, this time there was nothing human about the Malach Hamavet…

The huge arcing wings were black fire. Silver flames wreathed an inhuman face that flickered like a candle in a slight breeze.

_You bind me to thyself, oh Dragon._

Tora gulped.

"The soul, Ken Mack. I request he be surrendered to me."

The Malach Hamavet tilted its head quizzically.

_I require blood sacrifice. The laws of cosmic balance must be maintained._

"It is just one life."

_A life for a life. The oldest of the Laws. Even you may not break that law, for all your power, Archivist._

Tora snapped.

"What happened to the old Etana!? I'd like to speak to her now! She would never condone the death of a mere **child**!"

_He made his choice. He is mine now. He is my Chosen._

"He wouldn't accept death!"

_He would if it meant his love would survive._

Tora froze.

"Jenny!"

She released the binding and the angel faded away with a soft sigh. Tora charged off in the direction that Hank had gone. Then she staggered as the full brunt of the summoning and binding came onto her.

Knees hit dirt and Tora clutched her head. She could feel the tick of the universe and the spinning of the spheres. She should have known better than to do something as **stupid** as use one of the Three Great Rights. Of course it would throw her out of sync with human senses. Too much Dragon meant she had to lose her human senses. But enough remained to hear the gun being cocked.

She leapt and twisted, her claws sliding out, moving forward, almost impaling…

Almost impaling a scared looking girl, aged about thirteen. Tora retracted her claws. And the girl shot her.

* * *

><p>"Is that…<strong>Cammi<strong>? The girl Abigail kept going on about?"

"Yes."

"I can understand that. Didn't she spend years in space?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to be irritatingly monosyllabic now?"

"…No."

"And she's reverted to her usual form of sarcasm."

* * *

><p>Tora groaned as she woke up. Hanging upside-down, trussed up like a turkey. Great. Knocked out by a thirteen-year-old. She slowly span around and sighed as she rotated past the girl, sitting there with a gun pointed right at her face.<p>

"Hello."

The girl didn't answer. Tora rotated again.

"I was **actually** here to try and rescue you."

The girl didn't look impressed. Tora's spinning slowed and she began to move in the opposite direction.

"I'm Dragon. You know; X-Man, New Avenger, Laura's adoptive mother?"

"How do I know you're not one of Arcade's traps?"

Tora closed her eyes.

"You do know all the blood has rushed to my head? It's rather uncomfortable. Good knots by the way. Not seen vine work this good since Etana."

Silence greeted her. Tora sighed.

"Look, I can't prove I'm not some sort of android. I can't **prove** I'm Tora Logan. But Laura can. Please. Find her for me."

"You do know why we're here?"

Tora shook her head then swore softly as the spinning replicated her movement.

"Arcade told us the last one alive was free to go."

Tora swore loudly, in the Old Tongue this time. In some far-off distant galaxy, a large part of a forest ecosystem on a small moon died, forever altering the fate of humanity. Not really. The moon would be torn apart by the gravitational pull of the gas giant it orbited within a few years. But it **could** have. The Old Tongue was **dangerous**.

"When I get out of these stupid ropes and the right way up, I am **so** taking him apart. OI! ARCADE! Yeah, I'm talking to you! Come on and face me, you crazy piece of trash!"

And then –somehow- he responded, his voice echoing out across the entire dome.

"**Darlin'**! Great to see you! It's been too long! I would, but you seem a little 'tied up' right now! You honestly brought no back-up? I don't believe that! Well, I do, seeing how rash you were when we first met!"

Tora struggled.

"One-on-one. No powers on my part. I win, you let the kids go."

"And if I win, darlin'?"

"You get me. Surely Dragon's a bigger hit than a load of kids who never did anything spectacular? I'm an A-lister! If you announce you killed me, people will take you seriously. You let the kids go and they tell everyone they saw you kill me."

"So, either way the kids live? **Boo-ooring**."

"Not boring. Fun. Come on, you've been wanting to test me for years."

"No powers, Dragon dear?"

"Well… I can't exactly shut off the healing factor without killing myself, which you wouldn't really want, would you? But no cosmic Dragon powers. Promise."

"Darlin', we have a deal. Let her down, sweetie."

The girl silently cut the ropes and let Tora fall to the ground then helped her up.

"Thank you…"

"No problem. It's kind of in the job description. Who are you, by the way?"

"Cammi."

"**The** Cammi? The one Abi keeps going on about?"

"You call Agent Brand, **Abi**?"

"Long story, involving us trying to get drunk whilst moaning about our respective partners."

She stretched.

"Dragon, dear. I think you have to leave."

_No. Way._

"Look, I don't like it either. But I kind of promised."

_Not. Leaving._

"Look, I accept you lodging in my brain. I don't mind helping with the **horrific** filing –what is it with your hatred of the Dewy Decimal System anyway? I let you take over my body whenever the fancy takes you. I quite like being able to help out my friends with the cosmic powers. But I don't see why you have to be so **stubborn**!"

_I take the characteristics of the Avatar._

"I am **not** stubborn!"

_Yes you are._

"I am **not**!"

_Are so._

"Am **not**!"

_Are so._

"Am **not**!"

_Are so._

"Am **NOT**!"

_Are we actually arguing like this?_

"Come on, this is an everyday occurrence with us. Now, out!"

There was a definite sulkiness –not that a cosmic being was capable of being anything as petty as **sulking**- in the way the Dragon slid out of Tora.

_I hope you know what you're doing._

"Dear, do I **ever** know what I'm doing?"

_That's what worries me._

Tora smiled then turned around to face the man hovering down towards her.

"Arcade."

"Dragon. Darling, it's been too long!"

"Quite frankly, I'd have been happy never hearing your name my whole life."

When Tora said things like that, she normally did it with a saccharine smile. This time was no exception, although there was something forced in her grin.

"So then, Arcade. Let's set down a few little rules. One weapon. Only one weapon each. You pick first."

He grinned and suddenly a gun was twirling in his hand. Tora was aware a lot of other figures were gathering on the edges. Right. Time to show off.

She flipped over, grabbed a straightish tree branch and ripped it off. Two claws –middle and little finger- up either side and soon had a hastily improvised bō. Of course, given time she could smooth and work the wood into a more permanent feature but as it was, it would do. Spin it once as she turned to face her opponent, making her centre of gravity low and in a traditional guard position. He laughed.

"You always loved the safe weapons, didn't you, darling?"

She allowed herself a feral snarl.

"Come and get me, Arcade."

He fired and she leapt, cat-like, into a tree, using the staff to help support her as she kicked off and down towards him, rolling to dodge the shots. In her ear she could hear Hank screaming at her –probably still small or far off; Tigra telling her to stop being so stupid and Finesse telling Tigra to shut up so she could watch. And then a voice not in the earpiece; Laura, a scream begging Tora to stop, to just **go**, not to die for her because she wasn't worth saving, none of them were. And Tora continued to dodge and dart, getting closer to the man who had **dared** threaten her daughter and she felt blood trickling down her knuckles as claws tried to extend, to pierce this threat to her child and she had to restrain herself.

She ducked low and then brought the bō round in a fast one-two motion, slamming it first at the back of his knees then rotating it round in the palm of her hand to shatter both kneecaps. Thank you Etana for agreeing to demonstrate **that** little move –then going through it another three times to make sure Tora had it right.

Arcade had collapsed but he still scrabbled to bring the gun up and around to shoot her. It was the work of a moment to stamp on his hand, breaking his fingers and then to kick the gun away, into the undergrowth. She grabbed him by the lapels of his muddied white suit and dragged him up so she was looking right into his eyes.

"You. Disgust. Me."

One claw slid out so it tangled in the long red hair. She heard one of the children scream "Kill him" but she had a much better punishment in store for him. She jerked her hand and caught a lock of hair in one hand, closing her fist around it as she dropped him.

"I honestly thought you couldn't get any more stupid! But you took my daughter! After all that! Haven't you heard? Those who hurt my children die."

"You mean the Wolverine clone, the little kille-erk!"

Tora slowly released her grip on his throat after her hand had automatically leapt there.

"You will be polite about her. And I win, Arcade. I win."

She smiled. It wasn't a particularly **nice** smile. In fact, it was more a baring of the teeth in something approximating a shark's grin. She slid her hand into the small pouch that hung on her belt and pulled out what looked like a thick finger bone, almost Hulk-sized. She flicked up the end and it opened, a sudden flame sparking up. Arcade laughed.

"A cigarette lighter? I didn't know you smoked, darling!"

She let her lips slide back further and now there was no way of mistaking the look on her face with anything resembling a smile.

"This was a little gift from the Spirit of Vengeance. A direct, DNA-encoded link to Zarathos. If I were to drop something into it, say…hair, for instance…"

She was suddenly twirling the little lock around her fingers.

"A beacon is formed. Zarathos seeks out his new prey. And then when the Ghost Rider finds his quarry… The Penance Stare. Do you know what that is, Arcade? The Ghost Rider makes you feel every little thing you have done to another, all at the same time, for the rest of your life. How many have you killed, Arcade? How many?"

He was staring up at her, his eyes suddenly afraid.

"You wouldn't… You would never…"

She opened her fingers.

"Whoops."

The hair fell into the bone and caught alight. But the fire remained even after it looked like the hair should have burnt away and the bone began to radiate an ominous red light.

"You better start running, 'darling'. The Rider's coming for you."

She turned away and then, knowing he was scrabbling for the gun she flicked her hand up.

"Sweetie, it's lonely in here without you."

And the Dragon Song returned to its temple and Tora turned on one foot, her eyes suddenly radiating silver light.

"**Count yourself blessed that she chose to deal with you herself. I am capable of much, much worse than the Spirit of Vengeance.**"

And then Tora turned and ran to Laura, hugging her close and then she pulled back.

"I hate being shorter than you."

"Tora."

"Laura."

And then they hugged again, because they couldn't find enough words to say. And then, finally, Laura whispered one word.

"Mettle…"

"I have a plan."

Tora stepped back.

"How many dead?"

The children –and how easy now to see that they were just children- looked around.

"I…I'm not sure…"

"I need to know."

"Three… Three dead for sure… Two vanished."

Tora closed her eyes.

"Mettle, the avian girl I saw and who else?"

_Please not Juston, please not Juston. He's not here, he's not here!_

"Kid Briton."

_Great, this is even worse. Brian will be devastated._

"Who's missing?"

_It's Juston, I know it's Juston, Hank will never forgive me if I can't save them all…_

"Darkhawk and…Juston…"

Tora felt her mind click into gear, flying forward at a million miles per hour.

"Hank, this is Tora. Find Juston and the other missing casualty, Darkhawk. Tigra, Finesse, I need you too to see if you can find them on the monitors, help Hank find them. Jocasta, I'll need a Pym Gate in about fifteen minutes."

"Where too, Dragon?"

"Could you manage San Francisco? I have a favour I need to call in…"

She turned her attention to Laura and Hazmat.

"You two. I need you to help me. I need those who died."

Hazmat's face lit up.

"You can bring Ken back!"

Tora sighed.

"Yes. And no. Not here. Not now. But I know a…friend."

Laura's eyes widened.

"Tora, you can't…!"

"Laura. I must."

"But…"

"Laura."

There was a warning tone in there, Tora quietly telling Laura not to say anything further. Walking towards the clearing where Mettle's remains lay, Tora felt the children gravitate around her. Unsurprising. She was an authority figure, someone well known. Trusted, however misplaced that trust may be. And she came and she was calm and she defeated Arcade and now she was taking control and they needed that.

She sat and closed her eyes.

"You cannot disturb me. This is a…delicate procedure."

And then she inhaled, exhaled, focused only on her breathing. And then immersed herself in Dragon.

* * *

><p>Phoenix whistled through her teeth.<p>

"Okay, what's she planning?"

"Between your times, sweetie. Sorry."

"Oh no… She isn't…?"

"She is?"

"Why are you talking in the present tense?"

"Death?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N.<strong> Anyone guess where this is going? Guest, lots of Laura-Tora interactions next chapter._


	223. Blood Sacrifice

**Memories**

Blood Sacrifice

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

The door half-opened.

"Haleena?"

"Tora? Do come in. Would you like a-"

"I'm sorry. This isn't a social call, as much as I love our chats. I have need of your…technology."

The door opened fully and Haleena's eyes widened as she took in Tora, cradling a body bag in her arms.

"Oh. Kruun is not…"

"It doesn't matter. I just need the circle."

"You always care too much."

"They are just children."

Haleena sighed.

"You had better come in."

The bloodied, weary group entered. Tora automatically moved towards the basement door. Haleena shook her head.

"I shall go ahead. Prepare the circle. I hope you know what you are doing."

Tora smiled sadly.

"You think I haven't considered this already?"

She waited and then the door opened. Tora limped down, followed by the others, some carrying a body between them. Tora gestured with her head.

"Place them in the circle. Ensure they are contained within it."

She herself gently knelt and placed down the bag she carried, unzipping it to reveal Mettle's face. He looked almost as if he were sleeping. It had taken a great deal of power to heal his body. Now she meant to call his soul home.

When all four bodies –Darkhawk was dead, Juston found alive but mourning the loss of his Sentinel- were placed in position, Tora knelt in the centre of the circle. Haleena stepped forward.

"You understand what you plan to do?"

Tora nodded.

"I do."

"You give freely and without fear of consequence."

"I do."

"As do I."

Tora whipped around. Laura was standing there, a defiant look in her eyes.

"Laura, you cannot-"

"I **can**! If you plan to use your life force to bring back Mettle and the others, it's only fair that we get a say in the matter as well!"

There was silence and then Hazmat spoke quietly.

"**That's** what she's planning to do?"

Tora slowly rose and turned to face Laura.

"I…I can't let you, Laura."

"Why? Because I'm just a kid? I thought you-"

"NO! This is **not** because of your age! This is because I can't bear the thought of potentially losing another child! I would do anything to stop you from suffering. There are times when I just wish I could lock you in a room that could cater for your every need and want and never let you get hurt! Laura, I can't let you do this because there is a substantial chance you could get hurt and I would rather take this all myself and chance death than see you hurt."

Laura stared at her and then stepped back slowly.

"I…I never knew…"

And Tora closed her eyes once more.

"Haleena. I need the markings."

"I have the knife."

Tora spread her arms. A Breakworld knife glinted in the shadows. And then it flashed down. Slowly, blood began to seep across Tora's back and arms, the Breakworlder markings that allowed her to channel her life force. Complex and beautiful. And then Haleena handed her the knife, hilt first.

"You know what to do."

She hurried backwards, out of the circle. Tora held the knife up.

"That which I give, I give freely."

The knife flashed and both hands were coated with blood from the cuts on her palms. And then Tora drew her arms around in a circle, tracing blood across the lines, which responded by glowing blue. A wall of light slid up, surrounding her. And then things got confusing.

To Tora, it was a millennium. She felt her life slipping away and the Malach Hamavet stood over her and whispered _More. I need more as payment_. But Tora rebelled from the idea that she might only be able to save three of them instead of all and Dragon roared in anger at that too and so Tora gave life –old life but still life force- to feed the Malach Hamavet who suddenly smiled and leant forward, her hands suddenly clasped around four bright lights –one gentle grey, one darkest black, one calm blue and one an angry, pulsing red.

_The souls of the dead._

Red slid into the Brian Braddock, grey into avian girl, black into Darkhawk and the calming blue into Mettle. And as Tora stared up at the angle of death, the fiery hand reached towards her mouth and a carmine mist, shot with silver slid from Tora's mouth and nose and the Malach Hamavet smiled.

_You are mine._

To the students watching, Tora collapsed without a sound.

* * *

><p>Phoenix sighed.<p>

"She never could leave things well enough alone."

"Oh, Phoenix dear, be a little nicer."

"I am being nice. If I wanted to be nasty I could say a lot worse things about her."

* * *

><p>The light fell and there was silence.<p>

And then Mettle groaned and Hazmat ran to him, lifting him up whilst Laura dived towards Tora, trying to lever her up, holding her cheek as close to Tora's mouth as possible.

"She's not breathing! She's not breathing!"

Haleena knelt gracefully.

"Please! Help me! She's not breathing!"

"I cannot do anything. I am sorry. But when one uses this –the life force transfer- there is always **hope**."

"Hope of **what**?"

"That the one who protects those who die may show mercy."

"Please. She can't…"

"I am sorry, child. The Black Wanderer has taken her."

And Laura rounded on the auger.

"WHAT DO YOU KNOW!? WHAT DO YOU CARE ABOUT HER!?"

And Haleena lowered her eyes.

"She saved my life. On the Breakworld. There was no need for her to do so –no obligation. But she took a blow meant for me and suffered greatly for it –she bleed on foreign ground to protect a weak oracle whose kind had tried to kill her own."

Then Laura looked back at the head cradled in her lap.

"Can you regulate the life you give?"

Haleena sighed.

"Yes. But she would kill me if she thought I endangered you."

Laura looked down again, at hair arranged in a nimbus.

"I…I think… Maybe… Maybe this way is for the best… She wanted…"

And then raised voices from upstairs.

"I don't #£%$&* **care**, Kruun! Unless you want me to take your other arm, you will let me see my #£%$&* wife!"

And then the door was forced open and Laura's world –already crumbling- almost completely fell apart.

Because she had never known Logan could make a sound like that…

* * *

><p>The keening wail echoed in the room at the end of the universe. Phoenix closed her eyes.<p>

"Oh, and she'd have hated that."

"Darling, are you **seriously** telling me you weren't keeping an eye on Earth all the time?"

"I missed stuff."

* * *

><p><em>The angel faced Tora.<em>

"_You are my Chosen. Do you swear to obey me and guard the souls of the dead with your eternal being?"_

"_I swear."_

"_This is the mark of my Chosen. Do not disappoint me, child."_

_And Tora felt pure white armour settle over her body, the emblazoned winged sword sigil of the Malach Hamavet embroidered on her chest._

_The angel nodded and suddenly it was Etana gazing down at her._

"_I am so proud of you, Tora."_

"_Did I… Did I do the right thing?"_

_She felt so…naked without the comfort of slipping into Dragon like a safety blanket._

"_Come. I will return you to your soul."_

_And Tora walked towards the gate, where she could see an indigo figure waiting, a hand raised in greeting and she smiled because she was going to be healed, so healed, so perfect and bright and everything would be better._

_And then she felt something –like a rope attached to the small of her back- jerk her away. She raised a hand out, begging for help._

"_KUUURRRTTT!"_

_And then she was wrenched from the light._

* * *

><p>Death rolled her eyes.<p>

"She didn't even get to sign the guest book."

"Death?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Why do you even **have** a guest book?"

The masked woman sighed.

"Phoenix, if we can unravel that one, we are one step closer to understanding the intrinsic patterns of the universe."


	224. Recovery

Memories

Recovery

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Her eyes flickered open and she saw pale blue eyes staring at her. She shifted slightly and groaned. It felt like she'd taken a beating from Galactus.

"Lo…gan?"

"Hey."

"Where…are…we?"

"Haleena and Kruun brought us up here after I brought you back. I think we were both pretty weak at that point."

"Have we…stolen their…bed?"

"I think so."

Tora paused for a moment.

"He was…there."

"Who was?"

"Kurt… He was…waiting."

Logan felt his heartbeat slow.

"Tora?"

"He was…waving…waiting for…me…"

He reached out slowly and gently brushed her face.

"Of course he was."

She gazed back.

"You think…I'm confused."

"Tora… You were dead."

"And we…both know…that is not…the end…"

"Tora, don't do this now."

"Something lives on…something has to…"

And then she sighed softly.

"I…I think I…I need to sleep now…"

And her eyes closed slowly and Logan shifted enough to look over her shoulder and see Haleena bringing up warm water.

"How long will we…be like this?"

She shook her head.

"I do not know. You could never recover your strength or you could recover slowly –as Kruun is doing."

He closed his eyes.

"You got in touch with my team?"

"They should be coming to move you later."

He nodded.

"Thank you."

The Breakworlder nodded softly as she sat and then peeled back the covers to clean the blood from Tora's back and arms.

"Love is a powerful thing. She loves all she protects, almost unconditionally."

Logan leant back.

"I know. It's irritating."

* * *

><p>Phoenix snorted with laughter.<p>

"See! See! This is why they were so fun to watch!"

* * *

><p>To Tora, she wasn't quite sure what was happening.<p>

She opened her eyes. Ororo was leaning over her, smoothing her hair back and telling her that everything was going to be fine.

She opened her eyes. She was strapped to one of the long rows of seats in the Blackbird, Bobby cushioning her head.

She opened her eyes. She was in the Medi-Bay, something over her mouth and nose, obscuring her vision and a being that **could** be Hank McCoy was walking past only he looked…different.

She opened her eyes. She had to be dead. Because the teenaged girl staring back at her was almost certainly Jean Grey.

"Jean…?"

The girl froze then spoke warily.

"…Hello… Who are you?"

"…'s me…Jean…Tora…have I…died now? Where's…where Kurt…?"

"I…I think you made a mistake. I'm Jean from your past."

Tora paused.

"Oh."

She opened her eyes. Jamie was clambering over the bed.

"Uncle Hank, are you still giving her pure oxygen or have you switched to a nitrogen-oxygen mixture? Can I have some oxygen? I want to see if I can ignite hydrogen. Please, Uncle Hank, please. Wait… UNCLE HANK!"

"Jamie, I can't give you oxygen."

"No! Maman's awake!"

And Tora slowly raised her arms and hugged her son.

* * *

><p>Death cooed.<p>

"That's so sweet."

The masked woman closed her uncovered eye.

"Death…"

"Yes?"

"You will **never** do that again in my presence or so help me I will…"

"I promise."

"Oh, Death, you didn't even let her tell you what she'd do to you!"

"Trust me, I don't think she would **want** to."

* * *

><p>She was still moving slowly. She felt students stare at her. But hey, it was better to be stared at for dying and bringing back four people than for being tried for numerous charges against the state. But irritating to be stuck in one of Charles' old wheelchairs –the mechanised one though, thank goodness- and unable to train. She was certain that she was losing some of the muscle definition. Logan was walking around –albiet warily- and Hank had managed to –after long talks with Hareena and Kruun about Breakworld tech and a long explanation to Tora about: a) his new appearance and b) why the original X-Men were gallivanting around the school- explain this imbalance.<p>

Basically, the gist of it was that while Logan had only given enough of his life to just bring back one person; Tora had given everything she had –and some she hadn't- to resurrect four healthy teenagers, as well as giving them enough strength to be able to walk out –even if they'd been resting up for a week or two. As such, she was in a lot worse shape.

She heard low whispers and turned to face the very nervous looking X-Men-from-the-past.

"Hello."

They edged nervously and then Jean –who appeared to have been appointed leader- spoke.

"They said you were important."

"Who did? Lots of people say lots of things about me –admittedly, not many of them are **nice **things, but still."

"The other X-Men. They…they said you could stop wars with a word and change the past with a wave of your hand."

Tora sighed.

"I **could**. But… If I did, how human would I be? If I impose my will on others, I am a tyrant. I cannot do that in good conscience. I could make this world a safe haven. And in doing so, I would damn myself. You should remember that, Jean."

"Why did you direct that at me?"

Tora turned herself around.

"Because we are mirror images."

And then she wheeled herself away before she had to explain everything to Jean. Because frankly, she didn't have the time.

* * *

><p>"I look so <strong>young<strong>!"

"Jean, you were the sweetest little teenager I have every met. Oh, and Kitty ended up hugging you a lot."

"Watch it."

* * *

><p>Tora closed her eyes. She wondered why Logan had to drag her back. In many ways, it would have been better for them all. She could find peace from the screaming in her head, the never-ending music that was trying to tell her something; he could feel secure in the knowledge that she died giving life, not taking it as she may end up doing. He could live, knowing that he could do nothing and that she, stubborn to the end, had made a choice to do what was right. But was it really right? Should she have really entered that circle hoping she wouldn't be strong enough to save them all? Hoping she would have to give <strong>all<strong> her strength? Because wasn't that just selfishness?

She moved slightly in the chair and started the long journey back to her rooms. And then she heard running footsteps and now Jean was walking beside her.

"What do you want?"

It came out harsher than intended, mainly because Tora was so mad with herself. Jean recoiled slightly.

"I…I've looked through some old photos. Can… Can you explain this one?"

It was Tora and Jean, dressed in their almost-matching Phoenix and Dragon costumes, leaning on each other and grinning widely. It had been taken… It had been taken shortly before Scott had decided to get everyone dressed up in the leather. When the world was so much better. She shook her head.

"It's just a photo."

"Why are you dressed the same?"

"We're not. Look. She's in green and gold. I'm in blue and silver. She has a bird on her chest. I have a dragon."

"You're clutching at straws. Why don't you want to talk about me –her –whoever!?"

Tora closed her eyes and Jean automatically grabbed the wheelchair and began steering her towards her office.

"I failed her. She died and I wasn't there. I could have saved her. If I knew what I know now –how to heal and how to shape reality, I could have saved her."

"Why weren't you there?"

Tora didn't answer.

"Why weren't you there?"

"I was…indisposed."

"Meaning?"

"It's complicated."

"We have time."

Tora sighed.

"I was unavailable due to being somewhere around the point of reconstructing my left lung atom by atom."

"What?"

"I'd been reduced to my component atoms and if you've ever tried an Escher jigsaw –like the one we spend six weeks on once before giving up- you will only begin to have an idea of how boring that is. I spent about six hours –not that time has meaning where I was- trying to place a single carbon atom into a complex lattice to prevent me from being poisoned."

There was a pause and then…

"How did you survive that?"

"I didn't."

Another long pause.

"So you're kicking yourself about being unable to stop someone dying when you were, in fact, yourself dead?"

Tora touched her face, wishing that something would stop this interrogation.

"It was my own fault. And when the last memory your friend has of you is of you going insane and trying to kill her before you snap back to your senses long enough to take yourself out, you feel bitter about it."

Jean stopped pushing the wheelchair. Tora engaged the motor. Escape! Only not, because **someone** had put the brakes on.

"Explain."

And Tora lowered her head, defeated.

"I want to do this eye to eye."

Jean moved and crouched down. Tora sighed.

"There is something…something… I can't call it "evil"… "inhuman" might be better… there is something inhuman inside of me. Something that is ancient and twisted, but not evil. There are no morals for a thing like that. It is not good or evil –to it, those are just words. There is only…what is. What was. What shall be. And if it is let out, it just does what it is meant to. Heal. Heal without any form of thought or pattern. Simply…return things to the way they was before. And when that gets let out… I can and would kill any and all who dared to stand in my way."

She closed her eyes.

"They don't like to talk about it. If they do, they always like to point out that the only one I ended up killing was myself, but that's not much of a consolation when you threw your friend into a black hole then dragged her out again."

Jean stared at her in silence. Tora shook her head.

"I can't remember what happened, okay? My memories either can't contain it or some weird stuff happened. It's…difficult, to say the least."

And Jean nodded.

"I'll…I'll see you later."

Tora nodded and moved off.

"That I shall."

* * *

><p>Jean whistled through her teeth.<p>

"Young me was so irritating."

"Phoenix dear, you are always irritating."

"Shut up."


	225. Mind, Body, Soul

**Memories**

Mind, Body, Soul

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

_Silence. Okay, having a super-villain turning up on the Avengers doorstep wasn't that odd. But a super-villain who rang the doorbell? That was new._

"_I need to speak to Thor."_

_Jarvis gulped._

"_I doubt that is…"_

"_Thor. Now."_

_She marched in, went straight to the room with the Avengers were eating breakfast. There was a slightly wild look in her eyes._

"_They have him."_

"_Whoa… Who? Who has whom?"_

_She gulped._

"_They have Loki. I can't get him out myself. I need your help."_

"_Who has Loki? And why should we help you?"_

_She ignored Iron Man and stared at Thor._

"_The people who tortured me as a child have your brother. I need your help. I don't know what they'll do to him. Please."_

_Thor gulped._

"_This is a trick."_

_She swore violently._

"_It's not a trick! Listen, when I met your brother we made a pact. I swore I wouldn't harm you! I __**swore**__! An oath! I don't __**care**__ about that oath anymore, all I care about is not hurting him! I wouldn't hurt you because doing that would hurt him! And if you __**still**__ don't trust me, look!"_

_She span around, tore down the shirt to reveal the tattoo, even more intricate but patchy and fading._

"_You know what the extensions mean. But you also know what the fading means as well. Now, HELP!"_

_The hammer was already in Thor's hand._

"_We go."_

_Iron Man stood up but she shook her head._

"_Thor only. This is __**family**__."_

"_Wait… __**Family**__? Since when were you and Thor __**family**__?"_

_She whipped around._

"_Since the ward tattoo changed. Understand?"_

_Then she nodded._

"_We need to get him out. Please."_

_And then she stalked out, Thor following._

_Stark raised an eyebrow._

"_Okay, freaky Asgardian family dynamics. Before coffee. I'm just going to pretend this never happened."_

xXx

_They lay coiled together, warmth spreading between them as he gently cradled her head._

"_Etana won't let him come after us."_

"_He wants Jamie. I saw it in his eyes. He wants to have Jamie because I betrayed him…"_

"_He betrayed you. He hurt you and lied to you and cheated on you."_

"_And I let him…"_

"_You had a reason."_

"_I still could have stood up to him. Told him he couldn't keep humiliating me in front of all the others."_

"_Tora…"_

"_You know, he once almost fooled me into thinking I had the old Logan back… And then his friends who were hiding watching us started making crass comments… I couldn't get to the bathroom fast enough…"_

"_He didn't deserve you. Not after what he did to you. You're worth more than he will ever be worth."_

_She buried her head in his chest and he felt her smile._

"_You're just too sweet, you know that?"_

"_Careful. Last time you said that, we ended up with a shadow baby."_

"_That was twelve years ago and I'd just found out you'd gone and got all these papers so we could get married then handed me the register and looked at me soulfully. Oh, and told everyone I was dead so I could run away with you."_

"_Not to mention having demon babies."_

_She giggled._

"_Yes. Demon babies. Remind me what part of 'this marriage will be childless, understand?' did you not get?"_

_He started shaking with laughter, his arms loosening from around her._

"_I think it was the way you started cooing over Jamie when you got him back that made me think you weren't serious…"_

_She sniggered back and uncurled herself, smiling warmly at him._

"_You do know me better than I appear to know myself."_

"_Well, you have all the others to contend with. I just have one Tora and she is the best one of them all, in my humble opinion."_

"_You do realise you've just got an infinite number of feral femme fatales out for your blood?"_

"_Yes, but they aren't here and you are."_

_She smiled again and leant in to kiss him before drawing back, eyebrow raised._

"_You've been eating Stephan's Twinkies again!"_

_He grinned cheekily._

"_What gave it away?"_

xXx

_Her coffin was a vast metal monstrosity. A clear glass panel revealed her face, covered in the black cowl. The classic X-Men uniform. As requested by her initial statements. To be laid to rest in a way that proclaimed to one and all that she was X-Man. Bobby stood up, dressed in a suit. Without the ice coating his body, he looked…so very normal._

"_Thanks…Everyone, thanks for coming… I know Tora would have appreciated it."_

_She looked around. Kurt was standing there, holding Stevie in his arms, his great-nephew's head buried in his neck. Tora felt a weird fluttering feeling. Etana had begged Tora to look after her son when she fell to her knees, waiting for Osborn to kill her. She looked around again. Logan, with Eva and Jamie clinging to his knees. Emma, in diamond form, cut off from her emotions. Ororo, her face stonily expressionless, hiding behind the mask of Queen of Wakanda. Hank's eyes and the fur on his face soaked with tears. Peter, in his steel form, to prevent him from crying. Charles shivering, not quite sure what to do or say._

"_I think we all know what I'm going to say. Only good die young. Remember that? We'd get annoyed because she only ever played that song, over and over again. She was a beautiful person. And there's this piece I want to read to you… I'm going to skip around some. But I always liked the song when I was a kid: "_He asked me; Son of Man, 'Can these bones come to life'; 'Lord God,' I answered, 'You alone know that'; Then He said to me; 'Prophesy over theses bones and say to them; Dry bones, hear the Word of the Lord! …Thus says the Lord God to these bones; See I will bring Spirit into you, that you may come to life.' I prophesised as he told me and the Spirit came into them; They came alive and stood upright, a vast army. Then He said to me; 'Son of Man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. They have been saying 'our bones are dried up, our hope is lost and we are cut off.' Therefore prophesy and say to them; Thus says the Lord God; 'Oh my people, I will open your graves and have you rise from them, and bring you back to the land of Israel. Then you shall know that I am the Lord when I open your graves and have you rise from them, O my people. I will put my spirit in you that you may live and I will settle you upon your land…_" It's a nice thought anyway."_

_There was a pause, and then Storm spoke._

"_She was always there for you. With a ready ear and a cup of coffee."_

_Peter._

"_People thought me dead. I hope that we are mistaken in her case."_

_Sorry, Pete. Dead as a dodo. Charles._

"_I could always rely on her to tell me exactly what she thought."_

_Scott._

"_She never considered herself a hero. Yet she was the best of us all."_

_Emma._

"_She was the one I could never shock. She made me laugh and feel accepted."_

_Hank._

"_You could always rely on her to be there for you when you needed her the most."_

_Warren._

"_She always believed in Heaven. If anyone deserves to be there, it's her."_

_Kurt. Choking back tears._

"_I… Tora was my Makrrrst. I don't think anyone will understand that, so here goes –she knew only fear and hate and pain. And when I met her, I felt so angry that anyone could do that to her. But she was so forgiving And I saw the beauty of humanity. I saw the joy, the life, the… adventure. Tora was and is my hero. She is my soul. And without her, we are all nothing."_

_She saw more than one person crying. Good one, Kurt. Make everyone feel guilty when it was her own stupid fault._

"_Logan…? Do you… Logan?"_

"_Yeah…"_

_She could smell the blood on his hands. She knew he was losing control. But he deserved that._

"_Tora was the only woman I ever loved who looked me in the eyes like a man, and spoke to me like one, and treated me like one. No matter what I did or where I was or how I felt. She was my best friend and the one I loved more than anything and she never treated me like a damn animal. An' now she's—she's gone and—and for what?!"_

_He rounded on Hope. _

"_You better be worth this, I swear to God!"_

_He stormed off, surrounded by Laura, Warren and Dom. Kurt turned on Scott._

"_Why are we still here? We have to find Bastion and destroy him. Now, before anyone else is hurt!"_

"_We wait, Kurt. We have to wait."_

"_I'm done waiting! We hang around, waiting for people to wipe us out! I won't stand for this any longer! If we weren't so passive, she would still be alive! We stop running today. Now we take the fight to them!"_

_Xixy stepped up and caught Kurt's arm as he stared Scott in the eyes, face twisted in anger._

_And then Kurt collapsed and Xixy looked up guilty, needle still in his hand._

"_I thought it would be easier this way. This is the first stage of the mental deterioration."_

xXx

_There were only whispers. Whispers of a team. A battalion, made up of special soldiers, the top of their game, coming from Delta Force, the SAS, the Special Operations Command, Jagdkommando, CANSOFCOM, the Jægerkorpset, COS, the KSK Kommando Spezialkräfte, NZ SAS, basically any of the worldwide special forces. The best of the best. They were shadowy, dark and exceptionally dangerous. What no one knew was exactly how special the Shadow Squadron was._

_They answered only to one person, the Secretary-General of the United Nations and even then he only met with their leader. The leader who had been the one to propose the team back when the UN first formed. Her original team had been small. Very small. Herself and three others. They were still small, only numbering ten or so, even sixty years after their foundation. They were sitting in the common room when their leader stepped into the room. She was a general, a high-ranking one. But to everyone there, she was just Tan and only rarely 'The Boss'._

"_Guys, we have a mission."_

_Natasha, a recruit from the Russian Spetsnaz after the end of the Cold War and the 'Bait' of the team smiled ruthlessly._

"_At last."_

_Logan laughed. He was one of the three original members and second in command. He'd been a paratrooper back in WWII and had been more than willing to join._

"_Come on, Tash! We can't go around being super-spies all the time! We only get sent into the most delicate missions."_

_Carol, transferred from the US Air-Force after an incident that left her with super-strength and invulnerability, grinned._

"_Come on, Logan. Tasha misses when she was our enemy!"_

_Max, third in command and the fourth recruit from the beginning –he had been nineteen on signing up, a record only just beaten- smiled his shark-toothed smile._

"_Logan, do you remember that wonderful occasion when you were seduced by Tasha and she left you for dead."_

"_Shut it, **Little Brother**, or I'll stab you!"_

"_Try it and I'll manipulate the iron in your blood and make you dance around like a puppet."_

"_Boys, boys!"_

_Tan grinned at them all._

"_Now, we're all going. Even you, Bruce. I doubt we'll need much brawn –we have Carol for that- but we'll be happy with your scientific support. Clint, no showing off."_

_He saluted sloppily._

"_Sir, yes, Sir!"_

_She laughed._

"_Kurt," this was addressed to the only one of them without a military background, "we'll want you for infiltration."_

_He nodded._

"_Nathan, leave the big guns. This is a stealth mission."_

_The big man chuckled good-naturedly._

"_You never let me have any fun, Tan."_

_She smiled wryly then turned to the newest, youngest member. She wasn't from a special forces group, instead a trained spy, assassin and computer genius Tan had found aged fourteen and cared for until she was old enough to enter the team aged just eighteen._

"_Seriously, for all the legends we're very close-knit. We operate on first name basis out the field but have code names in the field. I'm the Shadow, leader, weapons-expert, martial artist, katana fighter and sometimes executioner, although I'm not too fond of those missions. Logan here is Wolverine. He's our beserker fighter and close-range operative as well as second. Max is Magneto. He's the sheer power. Controls magnetism and happens to be an excellent strategist. He normally comes up with better plans than I do and he'll be working one on one to discover your strengths and weaknesses."_

_The man laughed._

"_Only learnt from the best."_

_She smiled._

"_Dr Bruce, as we all call him, is our scientific support and medic. He answers to Hulk and I sincerely hope you won't have to find out why on this mission. We'll introduce you to the Jolly Green Giant in training so he'll know you're a friend."_

_The shy looking man with huge glasses sighed._

"_Please don't call me Green Giant. And I don't think the other guy is very 'jolly', do you?"_

"_Ah, Bruce, since we worked out how to let him out without you getting angry, he's been a positive dear in the field. We're still teaching him to read though. Natasha is the Black Widow or just plain Widow. She's our espionage expert and is wonderful as the tempting bait to her enemies, as Logan no doubt remembers."_

"_Thanks, Tan. I'd almost forgotten that mentally scarring incident. How do you ever expect me to get over it if you keep bringing it up?"_

"_Clint, or Hawkeye, is our sharp-shooter. I can normally beat him with the bow but he's also superb with a rifle. He can hit a dime from almost a mile away."_

"_Tan, you flatter me."_

_She smiled._

"_Careful, Clint, or your head will be too big to go through the door. Carol, or Binary –thank goodness we stopped her calling herself Ms. Marvel- is our controlled strength and aerial support. And when I say aerial, I don't mean planes. Nathan –Cable- is a telekinetic and telepath. He also comes from the future and is very handy with thirtieth century weaponry. And Kurt, Nightcrawler-"_

"_The Incredible Nightcrawler."_

"_**Nightcrawler**, isn't military. He comes from a circus and is our infiltration expert and short-range transport as well as an amazing acrobat. And now there's you. I know your name –Tora- isn't your birth name but we need to give you a field identity. You'll be our computer expert, understand?"_

_The young woman smiled softly._

"_I have a name."_

_They all looked at her expectantly._

"_Tigress. I am Tigress."_

* * *

><p>"Oh, how…wonderful."<p>

"Death, shut up."


	226. Kinship

**Memories**

Kinship

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She stared down at students, watching as new faces, new mutants gradually integrated themselves into this small school. She was…trapped…trapped…couldn't escape… Then she turned away, heading into the Danger Room. First training session.

She flipped up onto the first of the gym equipment. Still not cleared for combat workout but this was okay. She gripped the bar and held herself upside down then slowly walked across it with her hands. And then a soft, accented voice.

"You're doing it wrong."

"I'm doing it perfectly well."

"No, you aren't. You're going to-"

Tora's elbows buckled and she fell forward. Instantly, gentle hands caught her.

"Leaning too far forward. Not like you to make a mistake like that."

She opened her eyes. Warm pools of liquid gold stared down at her.

"I'm **tired**, Kurt. So very tired."

"Come on. Parallel bars. Let's go."

He guided her up and helped her stand. And then she leapt and span before pushing herself onto the other bar. He was on the trapeze above, flipping and soaring like a natural. Which he was, of course. Tora span around once more, then began chatting.

"What do you think of the new students?"

He span around.

"Lots of drama, a lot of good kids, haven't spotted any bad ones."

"Kurt. You think **everyone** is good until they prove you totally wrong."

"That's not true! Give me one example."

"You're looking at her."

"And **you** are far too hard on yourself."

"Oh, shut up, Kurt."

She flicked herself off and span onto the mat. Then up onto the beam. Somersault.

"Tora, you've always been hopeless at seeing your best points."

"Go on. List them."

"You're loyal."

A flip, leap and catch.

"You always do what's right, not what's easiest."

A somersault.

"You're good at listening and then giving decent advice."

A flip caught by the tail, so he hung upside-down as she leant backwards into a handstand and walked herself down the length of the beam on her hands.

"You always know that, at times, what you really need is just a bit of silent comfort."

Tora was about to respond when the Danger Room protocols spoke.

"X-Men team approaching."

Tora stiffened, tumbled from the beam and crashed to the mat.

"Terminate program!"

And the equipment, mats and Kurt gently faded away. Tora got up and walked out the door, entering the changing rooms and stripped, stepping under the shower. Warm water. Good. She heard voices. Rachel and Kitty entering the changing room. Turn the shower off and pull oneself onto the seat so feet were pulled up, so a glance under the stall wouldn't reveal her. And now to listen. Always so interesting.

"How's things with the new…old…time-displaced X-Men, Kitty?"

"It would be fine if Jean didn't keep seeking out Tora all the time."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Considering what Tora told Jean, yes."

"What did she tell her?"

"To watch out for the dark inside her."

"Not too bad advice."

"Yes, but she told her just after saying they were reflections and then that she had something dark inside her. It freaked Jean out."

"For pity's sake…!"

"You two finished!?"

"Coming!"

She heard them hurry out and closed her eyes. Already they were forgetting her, brushing her aside. Had any of them noticed? No, they hadn't. She hadn't slept in nearly two weeks. She hadn't eaten in five days. Hadn't drunk for twenty-eight hours. They didn't notice, didn't care, not even Hank who was supposed to be making sure she was okay. Did they even care anymore? Maybe not. Logan would notice but Logan was off doing 'Logan stuff'.

She looked down at her wrists, old scars. Maybe she should just open her wrists. Damnit, she'd wanted to die doing something good, something helpful. And Logan had dragged her back against her will. She closed her eyes and pressed her face into her knees, hoping to quell the tears welling up.

* * *

><p>Phoenix looked so sad.<p>

"Tora… Oh, you poor thing…"

"This is morbid. How about a little interlude?"

"Oooh! Other Tora please!"

"You **really** want to see that?"

* * *

><p>She closed her eyes. It all came down to this. She looked over. Kurt had one hand out, waiting for her to follow him and the man who had once tortured her. Logan was staring at her, waiting for her to denounce the man she loved. And Tigress felt her whole world crumble away. No one would hear her desperate pleas. None of the others were responding. She looked from Logan to Kurt and back. And then she made her choice.<p>

She turned and took the hand extended. Kurt smiled at her and she heard Logan swear violently. She turned round to look at him.

"I'm sorry. But I love him."

And she left with him. Because of so many things. Because she missed her friends. Because she wanted to go home. Because she had to act as a limiter.

And then later she saw the look in his eyes and knew he was going to die for both worlds and took his hand once more.

"Together."

He squeezed her hand.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course."

And they embraced as they teleported into the portal, to close it forever.

* * *

><p>"Oh, how <strong>sad<strong>."

"Phoenix, you are not a sixteen-year-old girl anymore."

"Spoilsport."

* * *

><p>She didn't want to be here. But Pym had insisted and then she entered the room and Hazmat leapt over and hugged her tightly.<p>

"Thank you! Thank you so, **so** much."

"Calm down, Jenny. This isn't like you."

"They told me you almost died!"

She leant back, grinning fondly at the girl in the suit.

"Jenny, I almost die every single time I do something 'recklessly selfless' as my husband keeps calling it. I call it 'doing the right thing'. We argue about it a lot."

And then Laura was beside her and in a rare display of emotion hugged her.

"I was scared for you."

"Laura, you know how hard it is to kill me. Should be called Cockroach, not Dragon."

A slight smile cracked Laura's face.

"I'm still not calling you Maman."

"I don't expect you to."

"But I'm fine with you calling me your daughter. I'll just call you my stepmother/sister-in-law and watch the horrified looks on everyone's faces."

Tora sniggered softly.

"What, that I married your brother and your father? Or that your 'father' and your 'brother' are the same person?"

Laura grinned.

"Jeanne-"

"So you're talking again?"

Laura narrowed her eyes.

"Yes. I'm going to want to talk to you about that."

Tora laughed and wrapped one arm around Laura.

"Come on."

They sauntered over to a corner and Laura glanced over at the tables set up with food and drink.

"Want me to get you anything?"

"I'm fine."

Laura frowned.

"B-"

"If you swear, I will ensure you lose your allowance."

"That's…rubbish! You're not fine. When did you last eat?"

Tora shrugged.

"Can't remember."

"Right. I'm getting you a decent meal."

She got up and stalked over, coming back a few minutes later with a plate piled high with food and then put it down and cross her arms.

"You are going to eat all of that."

"Yes, **mother**."

"Oh, shut up."

They looked at each other and suddenly laughed. Laura sat down and promptly stole some food from Tora's plate.

"Great. Now I can't eat **all** of it and you'll get mad at me."

They giggled again and Tora glanced down at the plate of food. She felt something rise up in her throat but she pushed it down. Okay, she hadn't eaten for a while for a reason –the scent was too strong, overpowering- but Laura obviously **cared**. And that was good, even if she was the only one that did.

* * *

><p>"That is so <strong>sweet<strong>."


	227. Jumpers

**Memories**

Jumpers

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Tony was about to go in the shower when the alarm sounded. A moment's thought brought the armour up around him and he shot off towards the area the disturbance was in. And then he landed neatly and froze, staring at the Avengers standing in a tight circle. And the Iron Man spoke.

"Dimensional jump succeeded."

Tony froze.

"Who are you?"

He heard Steve come hurrying up behind him, the other Avengers. The Captain America -whose face had more lines that Steve's did- stepped forward.

"We're the Avengers. We're here pursuing a dangerous criminal –a mass-murderer- who escaped our reality."

Steve stepped past.

"Explain."

"She was one of us. One of our greatest heroes. Or so we thought. There was a sudden spate of brutal murders –cannibalistic attacks. One of us… We found her coated in blood, having just taken the life of her twentieth victim. When we tried to take her into custody… She destroyed most of New York. Killed thousands. We finally caught up with her. She pleaded –she wasn't responsible. We couldn't take the risk. We had to kill her. But just as… Just as we… She dragged an innocent woman into her mind… We destroyed an innocent life and she escaped. It's taken us months to track her here."

"How did she escape?"

"That was one of her powers. She was in contact with other versions of herself."

Cap swore violently.

"You're talking about Tora Logan, aren't you?"

The other Captain looked away sorrowfully.

"Yes. I… I'm sorry… We tried… But your… She's dead. The woman you knew is dead. And in her head is the most dangerous woman to stalk the face of the earth."

There were awkward looks. Steve looked back.

"We want proof before we hand anyone over."

"You want proof? Here."

Photos thrown over. Numerous bodies –morgue photos- who had been carefully dissected and…**butchered** was the only word for it. A figure, unmistakably Tora, crouching over a body and ripping into it with her claws and teeth. A face streaked with blood turned to something not in frame and then one of her leaping up, away from the shot. Photos of destruction, a city in ruins. A wild-eyed, crazed woman lunging at Thor. A body, spread-eagled on the ground, the flesh over the spine seared away, someone having clearly used a laser to sever or burn away the spinal cord. Steve looked up.

"Why here?"

"We think she just grabbed the nearest unguarded mind that she could and swapped them around."

There was silence. The photos were slowly handed around. Some of the younger members looked like they were going to throw up. Tony flicked up his visor and pinched his nose.

"The X-Men aren't going to be happy. They'll see it as us interfering in their affairs again…"

"If Dragon is… If Tora is capable of something like that… Tony, we can't risk it. We have to get their help."

"Steve, we can't risk…"

"We need Professor X to substantiate these claims."

"It won't work. She was able to hide the fact she was a serial killer from him."

They looked at one another.

"We'll get in touch."

* * *

><p>Phoenix shivered.<p>

"No… You can't… Don't trust them…"

"Jean, dear, they can't hear you. It's like you're yelling at the TV. Hopless. Although admittedly, that never stopped you."

"Oh, shut up, you old bat!"

"You have cheek, callin **me** old. You're older than I am."

"No, I'm not. Include time travel and you lived much longer than I did."

"That doesn't count. Technically, I was dead."

"Still counts."

* * *

><p>Tora was in the garden, trying to listen to a student whilst the songs of Cia and Krakoa slid through the bones in her head. It was low, so very low. A soothing tune that spoke of earth and growth and the dancing of trees. She knew the others couldn't really hear it. It was too low, too low for them to hear. But she could hear the songs and they were beautiful. Songs of love and loss and sorrow –so much sorrow- but that was countered by love, healing and peace found together. There were never words but the songs were beautiful nonetheless.<p>

"Ms? Ms Logan?"

She jerked her head around.

"Pardon?"

"I just asked if you… Never mind…"

She walked off and Tora almost spoke out but she couldn't because there was now something screaming in the back of her mind and she felt her knees give way and she crashed to the ground. The songs stopped and she felt Krakoa try to get her somewhere safe and Cia's attempts to get help and then, just as Tora started seeing the black tunnel vision, she saw a worried face staring down at her. A face framed with red and black hair…

* * *

><p>"Da, da dah!"<p>

There was a long pause. Phoenix and the masked woman looked at each other. And then, as one, they slapped Death around the head, screaming "SHUT UP!"

* * *

><p>Logan charged down, followed by Hank who was carrying a first aid kit. And he saw the slight figure, a teenaged girl dressed in orange and black who was crouching down, screaming in anger. And as he got closer, he could hear the voice.<p>

"I came all this way to save you, you are not dying on me again, Maman!"

_Maman?_ Great. And then he faltered as the girl turned and he recognised the face.

"Eva…?"

"Dad?"

Father and daughter stared at each other and then Eva flung her arms around him.

"I missed you so much… Ever since they took you…"

He pulled himself away.

"Explain."

She flushed.

"Sorry. It's just… I've not seen you for years… I came here to warn you. They're coming for her. They're coming for every single one of her and they won't stop until she's dead."

"Who's dead?"

She turned to Hank and let out a little squeal, leaping over to hug him.

"Uncle Hank! Oh…I know I said I wouldn't get emotional but it's so **hard**."

She was crying softly.

"She should be okay. It was just the rebound from me getting here. I was warned it could happen. But… You have to be ready… They're coming for her… This is the first reality where I've got to her before they did…"

"Who did? Calm down and explain slowly."

Eva took a huge, gulping breath.

"I…I think I should explain it to everyone…"

And Tora groaned and started to pull herself up.

"Who took up tap dancing in my brain…?"

* * *

><p>"Oh, I think I have to write that one down!"<p>

"Phoenix? **Why**?"

* * *

><p>Eva was sitting there, nursing a mug of Storm's fruit tea and looking exhausted. In this light, it was clear that for all her initial appearance was that of her mother's –tanned skin, red hair streaked with black, golden eyes- the shape of her face was different, as was her build. It was only when Little Eva –they'd resorted to thinking of them as Big Eva and Little Eva- came in, frowned and then said, somewhat muffled behind the thumb in her mouth, "She looks like Laura" that it had clicked. Little Eva had started asking awkward questions and Xixy had –through what may or may not have been a fair test- drawn the short straw and been dispatched to go and blow something up to appease Eva.<p>

The older Eva looked up, her fear apparent in her eyes.

"I was eight years old when my mother was brutally murdered in front of my eyes by those she called her 'friends'."

She gulped and took another swig of tea.

"You see, there was a prophecy, that Dragon would be the one to destroy the Avengers. So they killed her. They shot her when she was least expecting it –when she was playing with me- and they cut out her spinal cord. And so began the pogrom –that's what Uncle Max called it. At least before they 'cured' him and imprisoned him."

Her hands were shaking and she put down her mug to prevent the still hot tea from spilling in her lap.

"They captured any and all who stood in their way. They lobotomised my brother, because they knew he was a threat. They captured Dad, killed Laura and used Jubes and Curt as test subjects. I was still a kid and I kept trying to run for help. The X-Men had been disbanded –forcibly- but they were still alive. At least until they tried to shelter me. I watch Uncle Hank burn to death after he saved me."

There were tears streaking her face now.

"I was thirteen when the final straw came. The Young Avengers had shielded me, tried to help me escape by rescuing Xixy. They were planning to use the K'Meer, Skrull and Kree to stop the Avengers. It didn't work. Wiccan… Wiccan sacrificed himself to get me to safety. So I swore I would never go for help again."

Tora, who had been sitting beside her future/alternate/possible daughter simply reached out an arm and hugged the girl, allowing her to rest her head on Tora's shoulder.

"And then **they** came. They called themselves the Exiles. They were…a mixed bunch, really. Loads of different people from loads of different realities."

"We've met them."

"Probably not this group. And one of them was Dragon. My mother. Only she wasn't. She was from another world, one where…where the world died. She was so very sad and so very beautiful, all ice and water and cold, hard angles. When we met, she just **looked** at me. I didn't find out until later… She joined the Exiles because she was promised the chance for everyone to come back."

Eva sobbed into Tora's shoulder.

"She wanted to save her world but when the Avengers realised there were more Dragons out there… They murdered that Dragon and stole the Exiles' reality-jumping technology… And so they left. The man who ran the Exiles… He told me I had to stop them. I had to stop them killing every single version of her in existence."

She lowered her eyes.

"I've jumped over a hundred times since then. I've seen hundreds of worlds –some good, some bad. I've seen worlds where Dragon was the greatest of the heroes, where her murder destroyed that world. I've seen worlds where Dragon destroyed entire cities and killed millions. But so far, I've never managed to get to a reality in time to save Dragon. You have to trust me. The Avengers are coming and they'll kill her!"

Silence reigned.

* * *

><p>"Oooh, thrilling."<p>

"Death?"

"Yes?"

"As much as I admire you, there are times I have to admit that you're a terrific pain in the neck."

"You were never beheaded."

"Death?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up."


	228. Goodnight

**Memories**

Goodnight

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Big Eva had been carted off for a series of check-ups, courtesy of Hank who was also trying to persuade her to let him play with her reality-jumping tech. The rest of the X-Men were sitting in the staff room and Rachel had quickly linked Beast into the conversation.

"We need to get in touch with Steve. He's the one we can trust to help us…"

"After that whole fiasco where he tried to take Hope? Not a chance!"

And then suddenly, after the argument had raged back and forth, everyone simultaneously noticed that Tora hadn't said a word. As one, they turned to her.

"Tora? You must know about this?"

Tora slowly nodded.

"Yes. They've been leaping across realities killing as many of my alternates as they possibly can. In some cases, that's been a good thing."

"TORA!"

She turned her steady gaze to Logan.

"You may not realise it, but there are times that I would watch the whole world burn. I stand and I watch as the cities burn and the people with them. The Avengers…they took out those versions of myself. But… They also hunt down those who are peaceful and wish only to live in privacy."

She closed her eyes.

"I could feel it as they snuffed out one life after another. The stars go out and worlds die."

She got up.

"I… I need to go…do something…"

Logan caught her arm.

"Tora…"

"I'm just going to talk to the kids. I'm not doing anything **stupid**!"

"Tora, for you, 'stupid' has a slightly different meaning to everyone else. To most people, 'stupid' would be trying to trade your life in exchange for four others."

She shrugged.

"I'm talking stupid by your standards, Logan. Which admittedly, isn't a 'normal' view of stupid but it's not too far off."

She grinned at him and hurried off. She stopped by Eva's room. Her daughter –so small, so fragile, too young to understand- was curled up in bed. She walked over and sat down, gently stroking the short hair. A sleepy golden eye opened and looked up at her.

"Story, Maman."

"What do you say, Evie-girl?"

"Please, Maman… Want a story…"

Tora hummed.

"What story? The Colony of Cats?"

"No. Beast-Prince."

Tora sighed. Logan just **had** to invent that story for the kids, hadn't he?

"Fine."

"Actions?"

"No actions."

"Maman…"

"Eva. No actions."

"Kaaay."

Tora moved so Eva could snuggle herself closer in.

"Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a handsome prince. This prince had everything –a beautiful mother, a handsome father, devoted servants and playmates in the form of the cook's daughter and a lord's son. The three children played together and got on extremely well. But one day, the lord decided that he wanted to be king. He killed the king as the prince looked on. And something happened to the prince. The curse he had been placed under as a baby became true and he turned into a beast. He killed the lord and his servants, and scarred his friend. When the cook's daughter begged him to stop he turned back, for love made him human."

The story was Logan's way of telling the kids about his life.

"Seeing what he had done, he fled, terrified that the beast inside would consume him. He ran wild for many years until the lord's son, seeking revenge, came to punish the beast-prince for his scars. The lord's son tried to kill the prince who became the beast once again. But the cook's daughter prevented him from killing the crazed lord but died in the process. Horrified at what he had done, the prince ran once more."

Eva snuggled in closer. Tora embraced her daughter.

"The prince pretended he had no title, no money and enlisted in the royal army. He served as a soldier for many years until the enemy captured him. When they found out that he could turn into a beast, they sold him to an evil sorcerer who wanted to create an army of monsters. He cast spells on the prince, meaning that he couldn't become human. Finally, desperate to escape, the prince broke out, slaughtering every guard in his way."

As a simplified way of explaining Weapon X, an evil sorcerer worked.

"The poor prince lived wild for many years, as he could not become human. Then one day, he attacked a young lord with his new wife. The couple took him in, and cared for him until became human once more. But their king heard about the man-beast and decided to use him as an assassin and a spy for the country. So the poor prince had two lives. One as the human guest of the young lord and lady, living in a lap of luxury as the assassin of the king, an animal used like a dog for tracking."

Ah, Mac and Heather. Nice way of fitting them in.

"On one of these missions he met a good wizard who offered to release the curse of the beast. But the wizard needed ingredients for the spell. So the prince-beast left the lord and lady one stormy night and went to the wizard's tower. There he found that the wizard had pledged his service to seven others –Allez-Oop, the demon who wanted to be an angel; Ete, the blind prince who wanted to see once more and his love Flamebird, who wanted nothing more than to have eternal love; Catt, the ghost who wanted to live and Comrade, the man of metal who wanted to be flesh and blood; Siren who was cursed to speak in song and Wind-Rider, the goddess who wanted mortality. The beast-prince and the others swore that they would work together to break their curses, with no one leaving after they got their wish so that they were all healed."

The names weren't the most inventive, but seeing that Logan had made the story up on the fly one night, he'd done pretty well.

"They worked together, vanquishing enemies to gain the ingredients for the potions required to heal them. The young lord who had looked after the beast-prince was sent after him to take him back to the king to serve but the warriors fought to protect him. Siren lost his song when he was defending the others but he continued to help them. The lord came once again, this time with an army but the warriors managed to defeat them. All was well. Then one day, disaster struck."

It had taken Tora time to piece together the meanings behind the story, place events that she heard mentioned in passing to the story.

"Flamebird was corrupted by the sorcerer who had once imprisoned the beast-prince. She began Dark Flame, the ravager of kingdoms, who destroyed a city full of innocents in a burst of fire. The warriors and the wizard tried to save her but she saved herself. Realizing what she had done, she destroyed herself, rather than kill those she loved. The warriors could not save her and Ete left to wander the land, blind, unseeing, desolate after his love's death. The Wind-Rider lead the warriors to victory after victory, yet the beast-prince would not heal no matter what the others did. However, he did manage to make peace with the young lord and the two returned to their old friendship."

A bit of mixing up the timeframes, but it worked. And Weapon X responsible for Dark Phoenix? No, but it gave the story continuity.

"One day they were looking for the final ingredient which was in the Black Woods. They lodged with an old woman and her mysterious, veiled daughter. When the beast-prince was gathering wood to help pay for the rent the daughter came to him and said that her mother planned to kill them as the herb was what gave her eternal life. The warriors must be on their guard that night, as the witch would try to slit their throats. The daughter taught him what he had to do to be safe and begged that, when they fled they took her with them. The beast-prince realized that he loved this mysterious woman."

She smiled softly.

"That night the warriors lay alert in their beds as the witch crept up to slit their throats. Suddenly a tiger-woman leapt out from the rafters and began fighting the witch. As the beast tore the witch's throat out, the evil sorcerer appeared. He cursed the tiger-woman, calling it "his greatest folly" and preparing to kill it. The warriors leapt to the beast's rescue and the sorcerer transported them all to his fortress. In the fight that followed, the beast-prince and the others dodged and danced, using their abilities to the full. The Wind-Rider used all her power to surround the sorcerer in lightning, while Comrade used his metal body to protect the others. Catt was unhurt by the lightning and so was able to attack the sorcerer. And the beast-prince used all of his powers to attack the evil magician. Suddenly, from the fires that were burning rose Flamebird, more powerful than she had ever been!"

Eva giggled.

"This is the best bit!"

"Shhh… . Together they destroyed the sorcerer to discover that Allez Oop had gained his angel wings for protecting his friends. Catt found a body with no soul and was able to live again while Comrade had been turned to flesh by the lightning. Wind-Rider had used all her powers to defeat the sorcerer and was now mortal and Ete had regained his sight. Only the beast-prince had not been healed. Sadly he left only to be followed by the tiger-woman. As the sun rose, it turned into the veiled daughter. She pulled up her veil to reveal a beautiful woman. As she and the beast prince shared a kiss, both their curses were broken and they all lived happily ever after."

As an allegory tale, it wasn't the best. The X-Men were clearly determined to get rid of their powers, but hey, the kids loved it! Eva smiled sleepily.

"Love you, Maman."

"Love you too, _ma petite._"

And she rose, tucking Eva in tightly and closed the door, trying to hide the tears streaking down her face.

* * *

><p>"Oh, how lovely!"<p>

"It wasn't the best story I've heard."

"You're a spoilsport."

"And you, Death, are a sentimental sweetcake at heart."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>I've had that story on my laptop for ages. Nice to finally get to use it..._


	229. Facets

**Memories**

Facets

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Tora only managed a few steps down the corridor before she let the tears come fully as she slid down the wall. The warnings were screaming. Something horrific was going to happen. Something that would shatter the world. Something that would make her want to watch the whole world burn. And something that would push her into doing it. The flashes were there –whether from the future or an alternate reality, she wasn't sure. She stood there in the ruins, framed against a blood-red sky stained with smoke, fire burning around her as the long dark coat swirled in the winds. A beautiful destroyer.

She shook her head to dispel the visions. She couldn't allow this to happen. Couldn't let her mind lose its grip. She was Tora. She was Dragon. She was an X-Man and a hero. She saved lives, didn't take them. She was not what they wanted her to be. And then she heard soft steps and someone reached out and touched her. Young Jean.

"Are… Are you okay?"

She nodded softly.

"Just…bit emotional. Not good."

She slowly got up and looked at the girl.

"If you knew that people were coming to kill you and that if you let them, they would simply leave and not hurt anyone else, would you fight them?"

Jean paused.

"Are… are you okay?"

Tora laughed bitterly.

"There's a group of reality-jumpers determined to exterminate every version of myself in the entire multiverse, but oh well, I'm an X-Man. We've seen weirder."

Jean shook her head.

"I haven't…"

"Admittedly, that's somewhere in the top ten."

There was an awkward pause but Tora shook her head.

"I am **not** scarring you with number one. Or number two for that matter. Number three was when a load of Worm-Men from the Savage Land decided that I was a perfect avatar for their god, which involved them trying to throw me in a volcano."

She shrugged.

"I still have those weird, surreal dreams about that."

She shook her head.

"Better get back. Logan will **kill** me if he thinks I'm dodging out of these incredibly boring discussions about whether we ask the Avengers for help or not."

She turned and was about to walk away when Jean spoke quietly.

"If I thought people were going to kill me –and kill every other me there is in existence… If I thought they were going to do that… What if they don't just stop at you? What if they attack your family as well? If there were people out there and I have what you've got –a family who loves you- I wouldn't let them kill me. I'd tear them apart."

Tora stopped and rested her hand on the wall.

"And there's the difference with us, Jean. You've still got the fight it you. It was torn out of me a long time ago."

* * *

><p>"Long time! Long time! For pity's sake, it was barely two years!"<p>

"Considering her age at the time, two years was rather a long time."

"Good point."

* * *

><p>Wanda was staring at the photos in silence. She felt Steve sit next to her. He sighed and leant back and she knew without looking that he'd have that stressed look on his face.<p>

"I can't believe this. Tora… If she's dead…"

"I don't believe them."

"What?"

"Did you **see** the look their Tony gave me? It was full of distrust."

"Maybe they just haven't got over the whole… You know… The stuff with the…"

"Ultrons and Kree that resulted in you splitting up? You **can** say that to my face, you know. No. It's the photos. We all know how good Tony is at doctoring photos…"

"He's checked them. They're genuine."

"Maybe. But there's something that doesn't add up."

"What?"

"Why would she change her uniform between being caught and fighting them all?"

"People change their costumes all the time. Anyway, I don't see what you're…"

"Look. Here you can see the neck of her costume under her civilian clothes? It's a black neck. The triangle thing with the small dragon like she wore near the beginning of being Dragon. And here-" she shuffled through the photos- "She's dressed with the all blue uniform with the large dragon. Steve, something doesn't add up… If they have reality jumping powers, what's to say they haven't got these from lots of different realities?"

"You caused us a lot of trouble back home as well."

They turned to see the **other** Cap, who had a gun pointing at her.

"House arrest. Been a while since we last saw you. You always caused trouble. But we've taken down three-hundred and twelve Dragons. You aren't going to stop use taking down the three-hundred and thirteenth."

Wanda snarled and looked ready to lunge but the other Cap had cocked the gun.

"The cure worked a treat. Nice little present from the Breakworlders."

The dart fired but Steve brought up the shield and it shattered.

"Too bad. I was going to do this the nice way."

And now he was holding another weapon…

* * *

><p>"Oh, stupid, <strong>stupid<strong> people! You should never trust anyone, even if they appear the same as you!"

"Dear?"

"Yes?"

"Most people don't appreciate that."

"Good point."

* * *

><p>Tony was busy discussing things with the other him when the comm crackled. Steve sounded…exhausted.<p>

"Look…Tony? We… Wanda and I… Look, we have to sit this one out…"

"Steve, you can't!"

"Look…Wanda doesn't… She already feels terrible about some of the stuff that's happened and she's not sure she's prepared to face Tora-"

"I thought we agreed not to call her Tora?"

"And… Look, after the whole Utopia fiasco, I can't afford to go in and attack an X-Man. I'm trying to build bridges here."

Tony sighed.

"Okay, okay. But you've going to be the one handling X-Men-Avengers interactions from now on. I don't think Logan's going to be too happy with any of us."

The call cut off. The other Iron Man looked up.

"It was difficult. It will be difficult. She'll…say stuff, try and make you think she'd the woman we all know. She'll play sweetness and light and then she'll stab you in the back. You get used to it but…It hurts. She'll play your weaknesses and your strengths and she will do everything she can to destroy you."

Tony closed his eyes.

"She slapped me once. Called me an arrogant twit who didn't mean too badly but still slapped me senseless. She really always knew how to be difficult. So… she's really dead then?"

"We…we didn't know… We thought it was just another trick…"

"Your team explains to Logan you accidentally murdered his wife. I'm sure he'll be ever so understanding."

"Your sarcasm is so very amusing."

Tony flipped his visor down.

"Ready and waiting. Let's head out."

And just after they left, the X-Men alert light flashed on.

* * *

><p>"Great. They miss the call that could have changed the fate of the world."<p>

"Phoenix, you're oversimplifying again."

"No I'm not. Fate of the universe rests on every choice everyone ever makes. Quoting you here."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Four down, one to go. Exams are over on Friday but don't expect normal service to resume. I'm basically busy from now until mid-July._


	230. Binding Ties

**Memories**

Binding Ties

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Wanda pulled angrily at the tightly-bound cable ties and then closed her eyes. She couldn't use her powers but maybe, just **maybe**…

_Hello? Can you hear me? Are you there?_

Something soft and warm and bright flooded her mind, bathing everything in red light.

_I am always here._

_Can… Can you help? They're… They're going to kill Tora… Dragon…_

She felt rage; ancient, bitter rage swell.

_How __**dare**__ they threaten my sibling! How __**DARE**__ they!_

And Wanda felt all her power return to her and more and the ties snapped and she leapt up, waving a hand to release Cap, who slid down the wall rather disgracefully and groaned. But Wanda ignored him as she picked up the comm.

"This is the Scarlet Witch. Transmitting to all frequencies. This is a warning. The reality-jumpers are hostile. I repeat, the reality-jumpers are hostile. X-Men, prepare for a full-frontal assault. I repeat, prepare for attack. Dragon is the target. Dragon is the target. Respond… Please, respond…"

And then cold, quiet laughter.

"You really think we wouldn't divert your calls? Sweetie, you've lost your touch."

And Wanda flung the comm. across the room in anger, smashing it against the wall. Tora was in danger and she needed to warn her! And then maybe, just maybe, she could repay the debts she owed…

* * *

><p>"She really wasn't the most stable, was she?"<p>

"Considering the stuff she went through, she was perhaps the most stable of all of us. Strictly speaking, she only had one major blip."

"Blip? You seriously call almost wiping out the mutant race a **blip**?"

"No worse than committing genocide in an entire star system or almost destroying a whole country, Phoenix."

* * *

><p>The warning alarms started sounding and the students hurried to the shelters. Tora slid the headdress on and suddenly felt someone touch her shoulder. She started and turned to see Storm.<p>

"We… We sent out a small call. Don't tell Logan. He'll… Well, anyway, Scott, Emma and Erik were happy to come. They're in hiding in the grounds."

Tora smiled weakly and suddenly 'Ro hugged her, smelling the same constant smell of sandalwood and jasmine perfume she had always used.

"We would die for you."

Tora pulled away, her eyes suddenly serious.

"No. You do not die for me and you certainly don't kill for me. Storm… I am not worth fighting for. But the others are. And if I can stop any of the others dying… Then so be it. But do not die for me. I am not worth your life."

Storm raised an eyebrow gracefully.

"You are worth at least a thousand times that. Look at you. You carry pain for dying children. You offer your life for the lives of others. You never raise a voice in anger to your children. You are so strong for having suffered so much. But we are not fighting because of that. We will fight for you –and yes, die for you if that is what we have to do- we fight for you because you are our friend."

And she gently wiped the tears away from Tora's face.

"Goddess bless you."

And Tora smiled weakly.

"Thank you, 'Roro. To old friends."

Storm smiled sadly.

"And those not here today."

Tora nodded softly.

"Those not here today…"

The names went unspoken. They did not need to be said, because they were always on their minds. _Jean. Sean. Kurt._

And Tora was fussing with the bindings around her arms and smiling softly, Storm stilled her fumbling fingers, unwrapping the silver bindings and slowly wrapping them tightly around Tora's wrists and lower arms before tucking them in and tidying everything up, then handing over the gloves for Tora to put on. Tora smiled weakly.

"Forgot to say I like the new look."

Storm ran her hand over her head.

"I…I just thought…maybe I wanted to…look different, if that makes sense?"

Tora nodded.

"You think I don't know what change can represent?"

And she hurried away, not allowing Storm to ask whether she meant the change from Tigress to Dragon or the change from the old costume to this newer, more aggressive look. And what else could she say?

And she finished getting ready, somehow knowing deep down that something huge was going to happen –that someone wasn't going to get out unscathed from today.

* * *

><p>"Oooh. Ro was good at guessing this sort of stuff!"<p>

"Dear, it was as plain as plain can be."

* * *

><p>Dr Pym shone the lights into both of Jeanne's eyes.<p>

"How are you?"

"I…I don't feel any different…"

"Don't worry. The operation went perfectly. I had to say, it never occurred to me to use Pym Particles in microsurgery, but it's sheer genius."

Jeanne touched her head.

"So… I won't forget anything?"

"As long as you keep backups of everything, you should be fine."

"Am I officially a cyborg now?"

"Well, we don't count Tora as one, so I'd say no."

And Jeanne smiled slightly as she realised what these microchips could do for her. Then the beeping started and Dr Pym was talking on his small communicator and then he was swearing and he pointed at Jeanne.

"You stay **right there**! Okay! Listen, Tony, I'm getting there as fast as possible!"

And he sprinted out and Finesse lay back, wondering exactly what 'Code 79' was.

* * *

><p>"Code 79?"<p>

"Tora has gone over. All Avengers Assemble."

* * *

><p>Tora stopped. Curt… No.<p>

"Curt, all students should be in their safety rooms."

He turned.

"No. Maman, I'm not…"

"Safety room. Now."

"The other Eva…"

"Has been on her own since she was thirteen and came here specifically to warn us. I am not her mother or her teacher so I cannot order her to stay but I can certainly keep you out of trouble."

"You're not doing that to me!"

Tora paused for a moment.

"No. I'm not. I've got something important for you to see."

He followed her into the sublevels. She pointed to a door and through it he could see…something. A weapon, maybe? A bike…? No. Freaking. Way.

Dad had promised though, hadn't he? One of his old bikes, upgraded by Uncle Peter to be able to drive along walls and ceilings. But now? He thought he wasn't supposed to get it until his birthday. But hey, emergency!

He darted in and pulled off the dustsheet. Gleaming silver and black metal shone in the dim light. Curt ran his hands over the handlebars and then heard the click of the door. He turned swiftly and saw Maman's face pressed up against the glass, her eyes closed.

"Maman! Let me out!"

She slowly shook her head.

"I have to protect you. I'm sorry. I love you."

Curt hammered his hands on the door, knowing that it was pointless. The entire sub-levels were either vibranium or adamantium reinforced. He was strong, but not that strong. Maman had turned and started walking down the hall. Curt slammed the door once again.

"I hate you! I HATE YOU!"

And Maman stopped and turned round to face him.

"I love you. I'm sorry."

And she turned and left, leaving him hammering on the door.

* * *

><p>"Oh, and that came back to haunt him, didn't it."<p>

"Talk about guilt."


	231. Snap

**Memories**

Snap

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

The Avengers landed and glanced around. The place was silent. The trees were stirring softly in the breeze. The fountain was tinkling gently. The other Iron Man looked around nervously.

"I don't like this."

And then all hell broke lose. The trees started moving towards him, an unearthly voice screaming.

"_Who can impress the forest, bid the tree, Unfix his earthbound root?_"

The Macbeth quote seemed absurd and yet at the same time, absolutely terrifying. At the same time, the fountain started spitting acid, the ground split open and shot lava and rocks started punching people.

That was when the X-Men made their move. The sky clouded over and the Avengers found themselves shrouded in fog. There was a sudden _swish_ and by the time Thor had regained control from Storm, their numbers had dropped by three. Tony did a quick scan and swore softly. An impassible cave in the ground below them. Pryde! But no time to think, because now the temperature was dropping and they were standing in a puddle and…

"Everyone jump! Grab a flyer!"

Most got out in time but one of the newer Avengers was left iced in quite spectacularly. So **this** was what the X-Men were capable of when prepared and on home ground. But… How were they… How did they know…? And then they saw the figure coming out of the mist. A teenaged girl.

Tony had played with Eva. They all had. The girl was cheery and there was always a hint that she was going to take after her dad. But suddenly seeing the face that he was **used** to seeing in a child in that of a teenager and the expression was one of murderous intent still shocked him. She was pointing at the other Iron Man, her face twisted into something resembling a demonic mask.

"You filthy liars! You bring them in to kill her because you know she's too strong! You kill all of them and this is the first one I was able to get to in time! You're a murderer! You're going to kill every last one of them, just because you're scared! You murdered my mother right in front of my eyes when I was eight years old. She **trusted **you! And you killed her!"

Tony glanced over and saw the look passing between the other Cap and the other Iron Man. It quite clearly said 'Busted'. But Cap was still going to give it a try.

"Eva Logan, you are a wanted criminal, charged with treason and attempted murder…"

"What do you call what you did to my family then? You lobotomised Jamie! You murdered Laura! Maman spent her entire life determined to prevent us becoming experiments and you turned Curt into just that!"

And the girl suddenly threw her hands out and waves swirled around her and she moved forward, the Dragon materialising as her eyes glowed silver.

"**You dared destroy the one who meant no harm and in doing so, brought about your own doom. For Dragon shalt destroy the Avengers, as foretold.**"

She looked terrifying and then the other Iron Man sighed and shot her. The girl screamed, dropping to her knees, and Tony could see the struggle and then the water was ripped from her and the other Iron Man landed in front of her, pulling her up by her hair.

"You never were the true Dragon. Now…"

And something barrelled into him. Tony saw a flash of blue and grey and then there was a crack. Tora… He heard Logan screaming at her to get back, get out of the way but the other Iron Man was not going to be attacking anyone seeing as Tora had managed with one headbutt to dent his chest plate to the point that the power source was broken. The look on the wiry woman's face was one of irrepressible anger.

"You kill all of them! You kill the others! Some are little more than children! You leap from world to world, killing them all, knowing that I know you will come for me one day! How dare you! How **dare** you!"

The other Cap lunged and Tora was displaced. The sight of the shield smashing up, knocking Tora's head back with the sort of force that would break the neck of a normal person snapped Tony out of his fugue.

"Avengers, Dragon is not the enemy here! Engage alternate Avengers!"

And then the whole thing descended into farce.

* * *

><p>"Ouch… Oooh… That looked painful…"<p>

Phoenix leant forward, lending her critical eye to proceedings.

"No, no, **no**! You don't punch like **that**, you're bound to break something!"

"Jean, considering he'd been punching like that for over a century, I don't think you can criticise. And there's the unbreakable bones."

"No, he's bound to break something, like his opponents jaw."

"Oh. You mean **sensible** breakages?"

* * *

><p>Wanda and Steve teleported into the school grounds in time to see the whole place go to hell. The fighting was getting out of control –the more powerful, long-ranged attackers couldn't fire without risking damaging their allies. Steve managed to throw the shield, knocking the other Hawkeye off Gambit, getting a cheery "<em>Merci, mon ami<em>" as well as a jovial salute.

Wanda turned in time to see a child stagger out of the school's door, hugging a small Bamf doll to her chest. What the…?! But Eva would have been in her room, with its adamantium reinforced walls, its eye scan lock and… and its override command –and what was the betting that the other Avengers knew the code? Iron Man could easily hack the computers –Tora was good but she was better at getting **in** than making them 100% secure. And if you had the advantage of knowing your enemy…

And Wanda screamed as out of nowhere, the stray bullet fired from one of the few guns hit a target no one was aiming at. The Bamf sprayed out white stuffing and then it was stained red. Wanda screamed again but she was overridden by a sudden, inhuman screech. And everyone froze as Tora flung her arms out wide.

She stepped forward and moved her hands slightly so they were all released.

"Tora…?"

She turned and there was such a rage in her eyes that everyone there recoiled slightly. She stalked forward to the girl lying on the ground, knelt down and picked her up, cradling the tiny body in her arms. And then the explosion occurred.

"I HATE EVERY LAST STINKING ONE OF YOU! YOU AND YOUR 'HEROES' AND 'VILLAINS' AND ALL THAT TRASH! I HATE YOU ALL! I HATE YOU!"

She was cradling the child in her arms, tears streaking down her face.

"I HATE YOU AND YOUR PETTY FIGHTS AND YOUR STUPID POWERS AND I WISH I WAS JUST NORMAL! I WISH WE WERE ALL JUST NORMAL AND THESE STUPID WARS THAT WE START DIDN'T HAPPEN BECAUSE IT'S NEVER US WHO DIE! IT'S THE INNOCENTS AND I HATE YOU ALL!"

Wolverine stepped forward.

"Tora…"

"AND I HATE YOU THE MOST BECAUSE YOU ACT LIKE YOU CARE BUT WHEN IT COMES TO IT, YOU'LL SACRIFICE EVERYTHING TO TRY AND MAKE UP FOR PAST MISTAKES BUT YOU NEVER THINK OF THE DAMAGE YOU'RE CAUSING YOUR FAMILY!"

Her whole body was shining as she didn't quite realise what she was doing.

"OUR DAUGHTER IS DEAD, LOGAN! **DEAD**!"

He moved forward and could now smell that terrible scent.

"Eva…"

She wouldn't let him see the body, cradling it close to her chest and when she glanced up her eyes were burning.

"No more. No more fights. No more pain. No more memories…"

And then she looked up and only one person knew what was about to happen. The Scarlet Witch stretched out a hand.

"Tora, NO!"

And the eyes were no longer human.

"No more powers."

Wanda had enough time to fling up a shield around her and then Tora exploded into a huge flash flood, swamping all those unable to protect themselves like Wanda was doing. And when the waves died down, nothing was the same.

* * *

><p>"Ooooh! Yay, fun!"<p>

"No. not fun. Not fun at all."


	232. Beautiful Normality

**Memories**

Beautiful Normality

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Marie woke in stages. First there was that slightly fuzzy warm feeling that came with a warm husband and having read bedtime stories the night before. Then there was that 'I really should get up and get the kids ready for school and then I have the bathroom to repaint but you know what, five more minutes won't hurt' feeling that she always felt guilty for but when James took it upon himself to grumble when she tried to get up and pull her back she decided to stay there until the alarm went off. Unfortunately, Curt seemed to think that he was her alarm. The boy ran into the room and leapt onto the bed.

"Wake up, wake up, wake up, Maman! You said we could have pancakes! Wake up!"

James swore slightly under his breath.

"Get that kid off me or I swear I'll strangle him."

"Curt…"

He stopped bouncing.

"You promised we could have pancakes and Jamie's being boring and Eva threw her Action Man at me when I opened the door."

"Curt, let Maman get ready. Go and read a book or something."

"Reading's boring and Jamie has all the books and he says if I go in his room again he'll take all my dinosaurs and paint them brown and green so they're camouflaged."

"Fine…" She groaned. "You can go and watch cartoons until I come down."

"YIPEE!"

There was a clatter as he shot out of the door and down the stairs and Marie groaned then started to get up.

"James! Let go. I need to get ready."

"Stay in bed a while."

"I can't. Come on. Anyway, you have work. Up."

She was already heading for the shower when she realised he hadn't moved but was staring at her.

"Ok, what are you thinking?"

"Just wondering how a woman with three kids can still have the figure she had when we first met."

She laughed.

"Behave. Oh, and I've invited a few people over for dinner. So best behaviour."

"Who?"

"The Hudsons."

"Great."

"And Walter…"

"Isn't he that doctor with the unpronounceable last name?"

"Yes, and the Beaubiers."

"WHAT!?"

"James, Jean-Paul and Jeanne-Marie are good friends."

"Why did you have to invite Jean-Paul?"

"JAMES!"

"He's a jerk. Look, I'm fine with Kyle and Kyle can come round if he wants but Jean-Paul just drives me crazy."

She laughed.

"I'll see you downstairs. Maple syrup?"

"What?"

"Pancakes? Oh, I swear you never think straight first thing in the morning."

She stepped into the bathroom and locked the door before switching on the shower. The warm water woke her up and she savoured the few minutes that belonged to her before turning off the water, stepping out and getting dressed. Already she was thinking ahead. The kids needed dropped off at school, then she had the bathroom to repaint and then she needed to take the dog for a walk and Jeanne needed her booster shot and the washing needed doing and she needed to go shopping to get some food for the weekend and… she really needed some time away.

But she smiled and went down and turned off the TV, ignored Curt's protests, called Eva and Jamie down, hurried them through their third pancakes and managed to get them out of the house, stopped to scrub some jam off Curt's face then hustled them into the car. She waved to James as he set off to work and then returned to telling Curt that it wasn't nice to hit Jamie around the head with a toy dinosaur, no even if he did call you an uneducated imbecile. Then she turned back and wondered once again what it was in her or James' genes that meant that Curt and Jamie were full brothers and so completely different. Jamie was quiet, bookish and loved school. Curt was noisy, hyperactive and would rather –in his own words- stick his head in a vat of hot wax than go to school.

Dropping them off was easy. Jamie absent-mindedly waved then walked off with his nose in a book, Eva ran over to play with her friends –conspicuously all boys- and Curt tried to run in the opposite direction. Marie steered him into the playground and as soon as his friends ran over he cheered up and promptly ignored her. Smiling, Marie got back into the car and set off home, via the supermarket.

When she was back she managed to get Callie to sit up and smiled slightly. Callie was a one-man dog, given to James as a puppy for his birthday and now far too old to do anything more energetic than wander idly around the block. So different from when she had first met James, the boy with the dog that would never sit still.

"Come on girl. Walkies."

The tail wagged slightly and Marie clipped the lead on. Jeanne sniffed from her sunning spot by the window and Marie was suddenly back when the starving, flea-ridden kitten had turned up on the doorstep and she'd taken her in. Callie had been slightly startled with this new intruder but order was soon regained. Jeanne was undisputed queen of the house.

The walk was really more of a ramble. Slow, steady and with frequent toilet breaks. Years of being secretly fed treats first by a man who seemed to think that the world revolved around his dog and his wife –in that order at times- and then by three picky kids who soon realised that any unwanted food could be fed to the dog had left Callie a bit on the rotund side. Marie managed to hurry Callie the last hundred yards then had to force Jeanne into the cat basket. Jeanne hated the cat basket as that would mean one of two things. Vet or cattery. Both were regarded as worse than hell by a cat that was born in an alley behind the worse restaurant in the area.

After getting back and soaking the cuts in disinfectant, releasing Jeanne and then removing Jeanne's claws from Callie's back, Marie started rooting for the paint in the closet when the doorbell rang. Sighing she managed to get herself out from behind the boiler, yelled "Coming!" at the impatient caller and hurried over, grabbing a cloth to wipe some paint (Sunset Mist) off her face from where it had spilt.

"Hello?"

The woman was standing on the step, dressed in red, her auburn hair shoulder-length.

"We don't buy things door-to-door."

"Tora?"

Marie shook her head.

"I'm sorry. I think you've got me confused with someone else. There isn't a Tora here. Or even on this street."

"Marie then?"

"What…?"

"Marie, I've been looking all over for you. I never thought you'd be in Canada."

"Who are you?!"

Marie's hand quested behind the door for something heavy and picked up the heavy and exceptionally ugly statue James' grandfather had dumped on her as a wedding present.

"Marie, I'm Wanda. Please say you remember. Come on, you have to remember. You have to fix this."

"I'm sorry, wrong house."

She tried to close the door but the woman's foot prevented her from closing it fully and then she was in the hall, glancing at the pictures.

"Where's Laura?"

Marie gulped.

"My stepdaughter is at college. Now, get out."

"Marie…"

The statue was brought up.

"I said, get out."

The woman stepped forward.

"You're different. There's something different…"

Marie swung the ornament but the woman grabbed her wrist and twisted, so she dropped the statue and it shattered on the floor.

"I thought so. You're sloppy. Tora would never let me know that she was going to do that until it connected. She was too good."

Marie snarled.

"Get. Out."

"You have to fix this! Please. Tora, this is huge. This is worse than what I did. You have to find a way of fixing this. Please…"

The woman's eyes blurred with tears.

"You honestly don't remember me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I have to do it like this."

And suddenly her hand was glowing red and Marie's eyes widened. The ball of red light was shot towards her, hit a gleaming waterfall and Marie slipped away into blackness.

Wanda stared then smiled slightly.

"So we aren't entirely doomed."

* * *

><p>"Typical. Wanda being as melodramatic as that."<p>

"Phoenix, we were **all** melodramatic."

"Says the Mistress of Understatement…"

"No, I wasn't good at understatement. My area was **sarcasm**. Which did overlap at times, but you know… I never liked the speeches."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Sorry about the delay. I was away and couldn't get to a computer. However, I **did** manage to get a book called_ The Physics of Superheroes_ so expect amusing little factlets -like the Golden-Age Krypton must have had a mass approximately 15 times that of Earth's and hence to avoid having a radius so great it became a star, it must have had a neutron star core._


	233. Family

**Memories**

Family

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Marie woke up to James' anxious face.

"James…?"

"First thing I know, I get a call from the hospital, telling me my wife collapsed and the only reason they knew you were ill is because the front door was open and Mrs Harkness went over to see if you were alright."

"What?"

"I was so afraid. They don't even know what happened. And when I went home that horrid thing my granddad gave me was broken. Marie, what happened?"

"I…I don't… Wait… There was a woman. She forced her way in…"

"WHAT!?"

"She…she was saying all sorts of odd stuff. I don't think she was sane. She kept calling me…Tara or something and kept telling me to fix something."

Then James was hugging her.

"I was so worried about you."

"Where are the kids?"

"Mac and Heather took them for the night."

"Why am I still here?"

"The doctors want to make sure you're okay. As far as we know, it wasn't a stroke or anything like that. They just want to keep you under observation. What happened, Marie? What happened?"

"Oh… Well, I don't really remember. I remember trying to hit her with statue and then she had…I…that's where everything goes black…"

Because the woman suddenly holding a huge red crackling orb of energy was just a hallucination. Right?

* * *

><p>"Hah, hah. Wonderful."<p>

"What? She was questioning her sanity."

* * *

><p>Tony span around then grinned.<p>

"Hey, gorgeous. You busy tonight?"

The woman in red raised an eyebrow.

"Wakey, wakey, Tony."

A red bubble hit him in the chest and he groaned.

"Oh boy. Hey, Wanda. Okay, what did Tora do?"

"Basically she transmuted the entire universe into a relatively primitive, powerless world where alien civilisations haven't made contact and she's living in Canada with Logan, her kids and X-23 at holidays."

"So, she basically got her wish?"

"Yeah. By forcibly removing everything that is remotely connected to powers, aliens or cosmic beings. I only managed to work it out because I have the Life Force. It's not easy."

"So… Who else have you found?"

"Just you, Tora and Logan. I didn't dare wake Logan up. I found you easily enough. Anyway, you're my best bet. I need you to help me find the others."

"So why were you unaffected?"

Wanda blushed.

"Wanda?"

"Have you heard the term 'nexus being'? Surely you have, Tora uses it all the time."

"Er…no."

"Well… er… Look, it's very embarrassing, I'll just let her describe it later."

"Oh. Who next?"

"The Summers clan is probably up in Alaska and we'll need them on our side."

Tony nodded, "Steve will either be in Brooklyn or the Army. Simon is easy enough to find. Same with Angel. Iron Fist and Cage… Yeah, private investigators along with Jessica."

"How do you know that?"

"I hired them."

"Okay. Do you think Daredevil will be in Hell's Kitchen?"

"Almost certainly."

Tony nodded.

"I'll go see what I can do."

They left together and Wanda veered off to spark Pepper back to reality before returning. The three of them were soon searching whatever they could; Pepper looking up social networking sites, Wanda accessing public government records and Tony hacking private records.

"Yeah, the Summers are in Alaska."

"I've found Strange."

Wanda laughed suddenly.

"You were right Tony. Cap's in Brooklyn but he's also married. And never froze in ice. Never joined the Army either."

Tony swung his chair around.

"Who to?"

"You won't believe it."

"Diamondback?"

"No."

"Peggy Carter?"

"No."

"You?"

"No. The Shadow."

Silence for a long time then Tony shook his head.

"You're lying…"

"No I'm not. Married close to sixty-five years, Steven Grant Rogers and Dr Etana Cohen. See if you can find her medical records."

Tony tapped a few keys then froze.

"Oh… Wanda, look at this…"

All three hurried over and stared at the details.

"She has cancer?"

"No wonder… Look, she was working on the Manhattan Project. Prominent theoretical physicist… Contemporary of Feynman… Ah, look, she taught Bruce Banner."

"Small world…"

"How bad is it?"

"We can't get them, they're both in their nineties!"

"Good point… But Betty has put on her Facebook that she's going to 'Bruce's idol's birthday' today."

"Good. We can always do with a Hulk or two."

Pepper looked up.

"Found Matt. Married to Elektra."

"No way!"

"Yeah. Looks like the Panther is King of Wakanda and is married to Storm."

"Let's see."

She turned the screen to reveal a news page.

_Wakandan King in States for Diplomatic Visit._

"Okay, why does Storm still have white hair?"

"Oh that. That's never been a part of her mutation. Found Falcon."

"Anyone else?"

"The Fantastic Four still live in the Baxter Building. Only it's the Richards Labs."

"Spidey?"

"Still works at Horizon."

They worked for hours, gathering the locations of their colleagues. Tony yawned and stretched.

"Why can't you just whack Tora with whatever you did to us?"

"I can't. I tried and she blocked me. We need more people."

Pepper suddenly choked.

"Wanda, we need to get to Brooklyn!"

"What?"

"It's your grandmother's birthday!"

"What?!"

"Look… Mr and Dr Rogers, adopted a Jewish refugee and sponsored his entry into the States. Max Eisenhardt. Max marries a woman named Magda and has three kids. Anya, Pietro and…"

"Wanda…"

"Yeah. And there's supposed to be loads of people at the birthday celebrations tonight. You, your brother, your dad, Bruce, Betty and Rulk, Nick Fury and so on."

Wanda gulped.

"But I don't know anything about this world…"

Tony shrugged.

"It's up to you to deal with this."

* * *

><p>"Brilliant!"<p>

"Phoenix, please moderate the tone of glee in your voice."


	234. Time of Angels

**Memories**

Time of Angels

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Wanda knocked on the door. There was a slight shock in seeing Captain America in his nineties, with a warm smile on his face. No. It wasn't Captain America. It was Steve Rogers. Small, slight, but with a peaceful expression on his face.

"Wanda! Come give your granddad a hug!"

Tony had given her passport details so she had been able to cast the spell to make her look older. In her late forties, named Wanda Shade.

"Hey."

"Victor and the kids are already here. In fact, I think everyone's here… It means a lot to Tan that you all came. You know…" He looked defeated, "Because the doctors say she only has six months left. Thanks."

She touched his shoulder.

"It's fine."

"Is that Wanda? Why on earth is she late? You'd think my own granddaughter would turn up for the last birthday I'm ever going to celebrate."

She blinked slightly at the woman wheeling herself down the hall. There was no mistaking the Shadow's face, build, except… She was old. Old and tired. The cancer had been tearing through her. But there was nothing old in the eyes. Bright, cheerful, making the best of what she had.

"Come on sweetheart. You owe me a hug."

The frail arms were reaching out and Wanda hugged her gently. The next 180 that followed suggested a certain strength hidden in the wasted muscles.

"Come on. Everyone else is here. Pietro, and Luna –it's a pity Crystal didn't come; your father and Anya; Bruce and Betty –do you know them? Oh, they're lovely. Oh, and of course, Victor, Tommy and Billy. Victor brought Jonas, was that alright? Oh, and Billy brought a 'friend', Teddy Altman. I wish he'd just tell me he's gay and get it over with. I've known for ages. Possibly even before he did."

Wanda laughed slightly. Etana pushed open a door into a large room packed with people.

"Max! Oh, where is that child?"

The man was in his late seventies, but still recognisable as Magneto.

"Ima, I don't think you can call me a child anymore."

"Nonsense, Max. We're all children really."

"Ima, you mean you are a child. Even after all these years."

The look she gave him was one of exasperated fondness.

"Oh, Max. There's no fun if you don't view the world as a child does. I tried to teach you that."

He looked dark for a second.

"I'd have maybe learnt that. If…"

She touched his arm.

"I know Max. I know. My family were killed too. I still miss them so much. But I have a new family, a wonderful, beautiful family and it's all thanks to you, Max. If you hadn't agreed to let us adopt you, it would just be me and Steve here today."

"You got me out of Germany when everything was falling apart. Seriously, I would have done anything to get out."

"That hurts, Max."

And then they were laughing, clasping hands together.

"No, I'd have only gone with you. Anyway, you used to look after me all the time."

"Yes. You were the paycheck for my further education. Therefore you helped me get a doctorate in nuclear physics and safe passage to the States."

Wanda left the pair of them chattering about living on the same street as children and Etana looking after the young Max. Pietro wandered over looking desultory.

"Crystal almost wouldn't let Luna come. Safta managed to persuade her. Why won't Crys let me see my own daughter?"

Wanda had no knowledge of the story behind this so shrugged.

"I don't know. I'm sorry."

But watching everyone, all she could feel was a tinged sorrow. What Tora had done was inexcusable. She had forced them to live a life that wasn't theirs. But…

But this world was beautiful. She'd apparently had a happy childhood. Overall, the general pain and suffering was much lower. Were they really responsible for so much pain? And looking around, she felt even worse. Bruce Banner was ruffling the head of a small boy, Betty laughing as she talked to a young man she thought looked like Vision, but when she listened in was referred to as 'Jonas'. And then Speed –it was Tommy, not Thomas- came over.

"Mom! Dad's embarrassing us all."

She let him grab her arm and pull her over to an older looking version of Jonas.

"Wanda!"

"Hi, Victor."

He looked fake-hurt.

"What, I'm not Vic today?"

"Sorry, I'm in another world today."

He laughed.

"That's my Wanda! Always daydreaming."

Tommy pulled her sleeve.

"Look, he's embarrassing us all."

"Tommy, be nice to your dad. Go talk to someone else."

She was so conflicted. Here everything seemed so happy. Marie looked so normal when she opened the door. No ghosts in her eyes. A happy, contented woman whose eyes were alive. Not the dead, empty, lost eyes Wanda had gotten used to seeing in her friend's face.

"Vic, I'm just going to make a call."

He nodded.

"Sure."

"I'll just go outside. What with the noise and all."

She didn't know why she felt compelled to explain it to him.

The hall was blessedly quite. She rang the number.

"Tony?"

"Yeah, Wanda?"

"I…I was thinking…"

"You're about to say we should leave this, aren't you?"

She blushed.

"Yes."

"We can't."

"Why not?"

"Look at this! It's been forced on us!"

"Maybe. But look. It's much more peaceful. Tora may have saved us all from ourselves!"

"No."

"Tony, please…"

"Wanda, you can't just let this happen."

"I could make us all forget. We could live out our lives in peace."

"Do you think Tora would like that?"

The killer question. The answer would be 'no'. The old Tora would be horrified by what she had done. But the old Tora had died over two years ago. And this was a new Tora who just wanted her pain to leave. And maybe, what she had done was better than Wanda's breakdown.

"Tony, it's better than what I created."

"And that's why it has to stop! It'll lure people in! I can hear it in your voice! You want to stay! You like it!"

"Yes! For once my life hasn't been destroyed! I'm still with Vis! I've got my kids! My father isn't hated and feared by almost the entire world! And Steve… Tony, you should see Steve. He looks so happy. He's married, has a family, had a full life and you should be here. The entire place is full of people who care about him. Tony, Etana has six months maximum to live. But she's not acting like she cares. She's happy as well. Bruce and Betty…they're happy… Tony…"

"Stick to the plan, Wanda. If it comes to it, we can wake them up and then put them back if they agree that this world is better."

She glanced down at her feet.

"Okay… But later… I don't want to spoil their party."

She rang off and was about to go back in when the door swung open and Etana wheeled herself out.

"Wanda? Can we go outside for a bit?"

The noise from the traffic outside was slightly disturbing but Etana didn't seem to notice it.

"Thank you for coming, Wanda. It means a lot to me."

What had Pietro called her?

"I wouldn't miss it for the world, Safta."

The woman leant back in her wheelchair.

"I worry about Steve. I've just got the results from the latest tests. The cancer's spread even further. It's effectively halved my life-expectancy. But I can't tell Steve that. It's bad enough for him as it is. We've been together since… Well, we were both in our twenties when we married, so I'll let you do the math."

She said the last world in a long drawl. Almost as if she had contempt for her adopted country.

"Safta?"

"My whole life's been messed up. My family and I tried to get to America when the oppression began. I got off. They hustled me in and told me I was wanted for a special project. I didn't find out for another eight hours that my aunt and uncle –who sacrificed everything to get my education- were sent back to die in the camps. I needed an assistant but the people they kept getting for me were just spies -they didn't trust me. I needed an assistant –I did all the calculations. I worked out how much of this and how much of this and that was needed to blow up a city. And there was this young man who had come out to do some of the simple jobs –cleaning, all that stuff. He's been turned down from the Army so many times. And I saw this man who wanted to do something more for his country. And Steve was a life-saver. An honest-to-god lifesaver. Course, I terrified him when I asked him to go to the dance with me."

She was staring up at the sky.

"I miss those days. Simple days. When I didn't realise that every time I went to work, I was killing myself slowly. The safety measures weren't as stringent as they are now. Do you know what their idea of **safety** was? A pair of dark glasses to watch the first nuclear bomb go off!"

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Max is old. Just like I am. Pietro… He has enough troubles. Crystal tore his heart apart. Anya looks after Max and that takes up all her time. Wanda, I need to tell someone. It's eating me up inside. I'm dying and I can't do anything to fix that. And…oh, you don't remember this… When Anya was born, Max was in Europe. I didn't see her until she was two years old. And then you and Pietro were born. And Max handed you to me and I just knew. I looked into your eyes –they were green, even at birth- and I knew that you were special. Both of you were but there was something in your eyes… You knew me. You knew me better than I did myself. Oh, Steve was crazy about you all. He spoiled all three of you rotten. But I looked at you and knew you were going to be important. Somehow. I hope I didn't favour you too much…"

Wanda smiled slightly but then her wrist was captured by a surprising strong hand.

"What's wrong, Wanda? I helped raise you. I know when you're upset. What's wrong?"

And Wanda saw the look in the eyes, a sudden flash of silver fire.

"You know…"

Etana nodded.

"I was dead and now I'm not. I think that was a little obvious. This wasn't you, was it?"

Wanda shook her head.

"Oh… It was Tora, wasn't it?"

Wanda nodded slightly. Etana's head was buried in her hands.

"I have two sets of memories. In one I'm a German Jew who fled oppression, worked on Manhattan, married a guy from Brooklyn named Steve and had a family. In the other I'm a three-thousand year old mutant who every now and again goes off to be an angel of death. It's really confusing. Would you…?"

Wanda's hand flared red.

And Etana rose from the wheelchair, her grey hair flickering as she gradually changed into the Malach Hamavet. And then she was Etana again and collapsed back into the chair.

"I'm good… Shouldn't you…?"

Wanda turned to the window and sent another hex bolt through. It didn't take long for the screams of realisation to hit them…

* * *

><p>"Aaawww…"<p>

"Phoenix, stop being soppy! You're a cosmic avatar!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Ima is Hebrew for Mother. Safta means Granny._


	235. Safety

**Memories**

Safety

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

_Thor disagreed with her ruthlessly killing any guards in their way. But then he found his brother and it was all he could do to stop himself going back and killing the rest. Loki was twitching, covered in blood, stripped of his armour and his skin ice-white. Trickles of sweat slid down his face. Tigress leant down and with surprising tenderness cleaned the worst of the blood away._

"_Come on, sweetie. We need to get you to safety."_

_Loki looked up, confused. Then angry._

"_You shouldn't be here! Not in your… your…" He had noticed Thor and dropped his voice low. "…condition."_

"_Loki, shut up. Right, we'll get you out of here. And then I'm coming back to kill every last one of them."_

_Thor marvelled at the woman capable of getting his brother to shut up and listen to her but still refused to let them slip away when they managed to bust out._

"_You shall come with us. Mine brother is injured and I wish to speak with you, Tigress, about your 'relationship'."_

_Tora rolled her eyes in disgust but let him call up the Quinjet. The awkward silence filled the whole plane on the flight back. It was only when Loki was given the all-clear that she finally relaxed. Thor didn't look like he was going to give any mercy._

"_What was mine brother referring to with your 'condition'?"_

_Tigress promptly boxed Loki's ears._

"_Told you not to mention it, you idiot."_

_Everyone stared at her._

"_Did she just call Loki an idiot?"_

"_She did…"_

"_My respect for her awesomeness has just increased a hundred-fold…"_

_She sighed, rolled her eyes and stood up._

"_I am only going to say this once. I do not want to have to repeat myself. Any stupid comments will result in extreme agony. Understand?"_

_They all nodded. She closed her eyes._

"_I am going to retire from the whole costumed super-villain thing because for the next twenty years or so I will be raising a mutant demigod. There, I said it!"_

_The silence that followed was incredibly awkward._

xXx

"_Maman?"_

"_Jamie?"_

"_Can… Can we speak…? Alone?"_

"_Of course. The garage?"_

"_Okay…"_

"_So…?"_

"_We were doing the Fall of Apocalypse in Modern History."_

_Tora stiffened._

"_Yes…?"_

"_Why didn't you tell me? That I'm not… I'm not Kurt's son…"_

"_You are. He has always been your father. Legally and emotionally, he is your father."_

"_But not genetically! I find out from my History teacher that I'm the son of a genocidal maniac who abused you for three years!"_

"_What did the teacher say?"_

"_Read out of the textbook. I still have it."_

_He threw the book over to Tora who opened it._

"_Page thirty-three."_

_Her eyes skimmed across the paper._

The leaders of the Resistance were the original Captain America, Steve Rogers; and a mutant with a long and chequered history dealing with En Sabah Nur, Etana Bat Aleka, or the Shadow. They were joined in the High Council by Kurt Wagner, a former X-Man who was one of the few who survived the turning of Wolverine and Archangel; Reed Richards, the only free member of the Fantastic Four after the capture of his wife and children, the assassination of Johnny Storm, the Human Torch and the conversion of Benjamin Grimm to the Horseman of War; Max Eisenhardt, formerly the mutant terrorist Magneto; and Marie Circen, more commonly known as Tora and a trusted member of the Inner Circle of Clan Akkaba due to her marriage to Apocalypse's Hand, formerly the X-Man Wolverine.. However, Circen had been spying for the Resistance since the very beginning, assassinating Archangel, the Horseman of Death and providing the details that allowed Ohio to be evacuated before Victor Creed, the second Horseman of Death razed it to the ground. One of Circen's major coups however was to smuggled Etana Bat Aleka into the Clan Akkaba and use her considerable power as the wife of the Hand of Apocalypse to divert guards from En Sabah Nur's chambers when the Shadow assassinated him. However, Circen was unable to prevent Logan from capturing and torturing the Shadow. At the public execution however, Circen threw herself between the Shadow and the blade, revealing herself to be the long-suspected spy in the very heart of Apocalypse's regime. Wagner rescued both Shadow and Circen, but the sword had shattered on Circen's adamantium spine, a relic from the Weapon Plus program she had been a forced participant of. Circen appeared to have recovered, but later collapsed at the Resistance's victory parade. She was rushed to Eisenhardt in an attempt to remove the shards of enchanted metal, but he was unable to prevent her major organs from being ruptured. Circen died before ever seeing the final return of democracy to the world. Out of respect for her, Wagner had her marriage posthumously annulled and took her infant child who had been removed from her shortly after his birth, in concordance to her last request. Since the fall of Apocalypse's regime, Wagner's whereabouts have been unknown. It has been suggested that he lives in seclusion, raising the son of Apocalypse's Hand and Archangel's Bane.

Rogers later…

_She raised her head, eyes so sad._

"_You aren't him…"_

"_Couldn't you have told me? I don't know, mentioned at one point that I'm the son of the most reviled man in the world!?"_

"_We thought it was better-"_

"_That I didn't know? You honestly thought it was better I didn't know!"_

"_Yes… Because I wouldn't wish that burden on you, not until you were much older…"_

"_Maman, you've lied to me! You've lied my whole life!"_

"_I have never lied! Kurt Wagner is your father, no other man!"_

"_I think you're just trying to hide the fact you made a mistake and you're so ashamed that you've been hiding the truth! I think you've made yourself believe that I'm actually Kurt's biological son!"_

_She recoiled as if hit. Then she looked up._

"_I bled for you. When Apocalypse took over, I had a choice. I could stay with Logan and keep the child I was carrying, or leave for the Resistance and almost certainly lose you. I chose you over my freedom and self-respect. I chose to be beaten and humiliated and treated like a whore for you. I let that… that… monster hurt me and turn me into little more than an outlet for his most violent emotions, all so you could remain safe. He didn't care for you. He threatened me. I could stay with him, or he would kill you. So I remained. I would never let him hurt you, because you aren't his son. You are the son of Wolverine and not the man he became."_

_Jamie faltered._

"_You… That's the reason you stayed? Me? You stayed with him all those years because of me?"_

_She nodded slightly._

"_It was worth it. I would willing go through a thousand years of that torment if it meant you were safe."_

"_So… Why risk the Resistance? You still cared about the world…?"_

"_The world can go to the dogs for all I care. I wasn't going to let you grow up in that environment."_

"_So…everything was for me…?"_

_She nodded softly and then he was crying on her shoulder as he tried to realise what she'd gone through for him._

xXx

_She stood there, choking on the lump in her throat._

"_James and I… We've known each other since… well, forever… We grew up in the house next door, were best friends all through school, dated briefly in high school before deciding that we were better at being friends and kept in touch all through college. And… Lots of people talk about how our marriage was full of love. It was, so very full… But… I think I have to say, we were never in love…"_

_She looked up._

"_We both came back from college with broken hearts. His fiancée had cheated on him; I'd had some…bad experiences with guys. And there was the one person who would never hurt us, who we trusted more than anyone else. When we got married, we knew we weren't in love but that we were choosing to spend the rest of our lives with our best friend."_

_She coughed, trying to clear out the feeling she was being suffocated by the tight ball of grief in her windpipe._

"_We just…slotted into a life together… To be honest, we'd been best friends for so long, the only difference was that we happened to live together. When… When we found out about the cancer… We came even closer. We found ways of comforting each other, just by being there. And… And two days before… When the pain was at its worst… James just looked at me and quietly said 'I think I've fallen in love'."_

_She looked down, unable to meet their eyes._

"_And that was the weirdest thing. That in twenty-two years of marriage, we did fall in love. Just very, very slowly and so gradually we never even noticed. And I think, that in a way… If we'd been in love at the start of our marriage, rather than simply loving each other, then… I hate to say this, but I doubt it would work out…"_

_She smiled sadly._

"_So I just wanted to say, to James, today of all days. Thank you. Thank you for being the best friend I could ever have. And thank you for being the best husband."_

_She stepped down and Kurt, moving up to the coffin, pressed one hand on her shoulder._

"_Marie…"_

_She touched his hand._

"_Thanks, Kurt… For everything…"_

* * *

><p>"How <strong>sweet<strong>…"

"How sad."

"You always focus on the negative, don't you?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>I'll be away over the weekend, so I'll post this now -I'm aiming to publish 250 on the 1st of July, Memories' second anniversary._


	236. Fated

**Memories**

Fated

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

The door opened. A boy stuck his head out.

"Yeah?"

"Is Scott Summers here?"

"DAD!"

"What is it, Chris?"

"Woman at the door!"

The man hurrying down the stairs wore shades, but they were pushed up onto his head.

"Chris, go play with Rachel and Nate."

"But…"

"Now."

The red bubble hit him in the chest. His eyes widened.

"Wanda. What the hell is going on?"

"Tora's gone insane. Who else is here?"

"Chris… That's Cable. Rachel and Nate. Marvel Girl and X-Man. They're all kids. Emma's here. Jean and Maddie are dead."

"Alex?"

"Lives down in the main States with Lorna."

Wanda's hand flew to her mouth.

"Tan is going to be mad when she hears Lorna exists."

"Tan?"

"Er… She's kind of my grandmother…"

"The Shadow… Is your grandmother?"

"Adoptive."

"I'll get Emma."

"Have you found Hope?"

"Hope Spalding. Lives on the other side of town. Don't bother, she's not even started school yet."

"But we might need her…"

"Drop it. Okay? She's got enough problems as it is. And… Wanda, what are we going to do?"

Wanda looked torn.

"We're getting everyone we can. And then we're going to vote."

"On what?"

"On whether to force Tora to fix this or whether we leave it be."

Scott looked horrified.

"What do you mean, 'leave it be'?"

"Scott, a lot of people I've 'woken' so far… they prefer this life. Cap doesn't want to go back, even if that means he'll get his youth and strength back. Bruce Banner has kids –and not Skaar-kids. A normal, happy family. And look me in the eye and tell me that until five minutes ago, you weren't perfectly content with your life here."

Scott looked away.

"It is a burden off my mind…"

"See. Get the White Queen and the kids together. It's easier for me to do this just once."

Ten minutes later, Wanda had the humorous situation of watching Cable try to get used to having the body of a twelve-year-old again. Marvel Girl seemed quite comfortable in her eight-year-old body and X-Man had basically ignored the fact he was now a rather cute six-year-old. Emma had just stared at Wanda then asked in her most imperious tone, "I sincerely hope you weren't responsible for this."

They walked out to the car and Wanda raised the rather touchy subject of Jean and Maddie to Scott, who sighed.

"Jean and I were childhood sweethearts. We ended up parting ways and I married Maddie and had Christopher. It didn't work out. Maddie had mental health problems and in the end we got divorced. I won custody and Maddie later committed suicide. I met up with Jean again when Chris was two and we got married shortly afterwards. Ray turned up pretty soon, as did Nate. Chris didn't really remember Maddie and regarded Jean his mother. Jean…Jean was killed in a car accident… I got to know Emma better through the following psychiatry sessions and she moved in last year. It was some three years after Jean died. Ray and Chris weren't impressed, to say the least."

"Oh… I can see why you might not like this world too much either."

"What about you?"

"Long story. I'll go back to Cap and Etana first. They met in the War as Tan was working on Project Manhattan and needed an assistant. After the war, they went back to Germany to see if they could find Etana's family –she'd fled the persecution- and instead they found the boy who'd lived down the road and Etana used to look after. They successfully adopted him and Max Eisenhardt became Max Rogers-"

"Wait! Magneto is Cap's adopted son?!"

"Yes, I registered some surprise as well. Father went back to Europe and married my mother. They had Anya and shortly afterwards, returned back to the States. Almost ten years after that, Pietro and I were born. My mother died –complications or something. Father needed help so we basically moved back to my grandparents' place. Anya never married –she looks after Father mainly. Pietro married Crystal –not an Inhuman but still the same person, if that makes sense. They had a daughter but separated later. I married Victor Shade, which you may remember as the name Vision used as a cover. He had a younger brother, Jonas… We had the twins. They're Wiccan and Speed, not Tommy and Billy, before you ask. We're a pretty happy family."

She stared off into the distance. Scott stopped when they reached the car.

"You got Stark on this?"

"I needed his resources. You're some of the last. We're still tracking down Alex and a few others. But all in all, we've got almost all the X-teams, all the different Avengers, the Fantastic Four and a couple of Defenders."

"Have you found Logan? Or Tora?"

"I found Tora, Logan, X-23 and the kids. Thing is, I couldn't do anything. I expect to be able to get Laura on the way back. Logan will be tricky. I may have hurt Tora and I bet he's not going to leave her side for a while. And she'll stop me from doing anything she doesn't want me to do. This is her world after all."

"What do you mean?"

"Imagine us all living out her dream. And because we're all dreaming it, it's become reality. We need to decide whether to keep on dreaming or whether to wake up."

Scott stared ahead.

"Would it really be so wrong to say I'm actually tempted to stay here…?"

* * *

><p>"Yes, well, I suppose 'my wife died in a car crash' is better than 'my wife every now and then became a Ravager of Worlds and I cheated on her with a reformed villain'."<p>

"Jean, we talked about being bitter…"

"I know, I know, it's beneath me, la-di-lah."

* * *

><p>They milled together and then Wanda stepped up.<p>

"I don't know if everyone's heard yet. But we've got a plan. We're going to find Tora and wake her. We'll have already taken a vote on what we think is for the best and then we'll either request that she fixes this or makes it permanent."

A hand near the back stuck up.

"Yes?"

"Will the votes be private?"

"I don't see why we need…"

Tony shook his head.

"No. This needs to be done in the open."

Magneto rose and Wanda bit her lip. This could be difficult…

"I believe that we should not only leave this as it is but that we shouldn't disturb Tora and also that we should all forget what has happened."

That was…unexpected. Everyone was staring at him. Scott spoke slowly.

"Erik…?"

Magneto lowered his head.

"I had lived a life of suffering. Always hated. Often feared. And now… Now I have the life I could have lived. Maybe… Maybe because there aren't mutants, I finally feel freed."

"Father…?"

"I doubt anyone will want to hear the views of a mass murderer and former terrorist however. So I hand the floor over to a man I know you will listen to. Captain?"

Steve stood. There were a few murmured whispers. He looked tired. Tired and old. Almost frail. But there was that stubborn, determined look in his eyes that everyone there recognised.

"I… I know if I go back… I'll hopefully get another eighty years. But… But I've had a life here. A good life. Actually better than I've had back before it all. And I know it's all a lie but what if it isn't. Tora sees alternate realities. What if this is simply her mimicking another? This world… If Wanda hadn't avoided being changed… Would we be happy? That's the question to ask yourself. Would you be happy to spend the rest of your life here, without any memories of what happened? Ask yourself that. Then vote. I vote to stay. I vote to live this life here, even if I'll probably die within a few years. Because I've already lived."

Bruce rose.

"I… I vote to return. No, Betty… Listen… The Hulk… I may hate the Hulk but the Hulk saves lives. There I can do stuff to help people in a physical way. Here… Here I'm just Bruce Banner and that's great but as the Hulk I can save people."

And that was it. People declared themselves. Tony voted for returning. The Vision, against. Speed, against. Wiccan, for. Wanda kept track as everyone declared themselves. Daredevil, for. Luke Cage, against. Reed Richards, for. Johnny Storm, for. Sue Richards, against. Cable, for. Cyclops…against. Hawkeye, against. Beast, against. White Queen, for. Wanda stared at her sheet. There was a clear winner. She looked up and she saw the look in Tony's face, knew that he knew. He slumped, defeated. Wanda cleared her throat.

"We need to go and ask Wolverine, Poison and Dragon their votes. It won't topple the vote but we should still ask them."

"What's the final decision?"

Wanda looked up, her eyes unreadable.

"We stay."

About three-quarters of the room cheered.

* * *

><p>"So why…"<p>

"You really think she'd let them explain?"

"No, probably not…"


	237. To Cling Together

**Memories**

To Cling Together

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Laura got up quickly when she saw Marie come in.

"Are you okay? Marie?"

The use of her first name was the only concession that Laura Kinney was not Marie's daughter. Sarah had been a previous girlfriend of James' and there had been something with a boyfriend following him and suddenly James was dumped with a child, two months into their marriage. For a young couple who weren't even certain they wanted kids, suddenly having petulant, grumpy Laura to look after came as a shock. It took a while –in fact they waited quite a few years. Jamie more than twelve years younger than his half-sister and Laura enjoyed babying her siblings. The fact that she'd come home deliberately to look after them with Marie being checked up was a testament to the closeness they felt.

"I'm just **tired**. Thanks for waiting up…"

Laura looked over.

"You look exhausted."

"I'll be fine. How's the studies going?"

Laura shrugged.

"It's going fine. I've been put on the University Karate team, so I must be doing something right."

Marie laughed and then collapsed into the chair.

"I… Laura, I admit I was scared. There… There wasn't any major problems, were there?"

Laura shook her head.

"The police are patrolling, just in case. I set all the alarms up and everything."

Marie nodded weakly.

"I… I don't know… I… I think maybe we should go stay with my family for a while…get out of the house…"

With startling comprehension, Laura sat down and wrapped an arm around Marie's shoulders.

"Look. We've had the police in. They say it's safe. But seriously, if you want, I can go ring up Mac and Heather and ask them to put us up for the night."

Marie laughed softly.

"Laura, you don't have to baby me."

They looked at each other and with that flash of familiarity, suddenly both started giggling. James entered, carrying his small hold-all.

"Whoa… I miss something?"

"Nothing at all, Dad…"

They both continued sniggering and then –by whatever cosmic laws that stated that laughter must be contagious- James started laughing too. The soft sound of their laughter –James' low chuckle, Laura's sniggering giggles and Marie's almost-silent shaking- filled the room and then they were all sitting on the sofa together, curled up. Radio humming quietly in the background and then a familiar tune came on. James leapt up and pulled Marie up with him.

"Come on! Remember this one?"

She laughed breathlessly.

"How could I forget when you keep reminding me!?"

He swirled her under his arm as she tried to remember the steps from the dance at the student union when the older boy had come over and asked if she wanted to dance. The tune was flowing and gentle. So many memories…

_When I'm gone  
><em>_No need to wonder if I ever think of you  
><em>_The same moon shines  
><em>_The same wind blows  
><em>_For both of us, and time is but a paper moon...  
><em>_Be not gone_

Swirling under his arm once more, suddenly breathtakingly aware of everything about him. Seeing the boy in the man's eyes.

_Though I'm gone  
><em>_It's just as though I hold the flower that touches you  
><em>_A new life grows  
><em>_The blossom knows  
><em>_There's no one else could warm my heart as much as you...  
><em>_Be not gone_

Laura was staring at them, suddenly aware that there **had** been a life before her mother had died and she'd ended up with Dad and Marie.

_Let us cling together as the years go by  
><em>_Oh my love, my love  
><em>_In the quiet of the night  
><em>_Let our candle always burn  
><em>_Let us never lose the lessons we have learned_

Marie felt his arms wrap tighter around her and she rested her head on his chest, inhaling deeply.

_Teo torriatte konomama iko  
><em>_Aisuruhito yo  
><em>_Shizukana yoi ni  
><em>_Hikario tomoshi  
><em>_Itoshiki oshieo idaki_

He knew the meaning of the words. He had sung them softly to her that first dance, trying to appear knowledgeable and cultured, speaking Japanese. He had just sounded like a little boy.

_Hear my song  
><em>_Still think of me the way you've come to think of me  
><em>_The nights grow long  
><em>_But dreams live on  
><em>_Just close your pretty eyes and you can be with me...  
><em>_Dream on_

She closed her eyes and let the music wash over her.

_Teo torriatte konomama iko  
><em>_Aisuruhito yo  
><em>_Shizukana yoi ni  
><em>_Hikario tomoshi  
><em>_Itoshiki oshieo idaki_

He was muttering the translation now. Low and soft, so only she could hear it.

_When I'm gone  
><em>_They'll say we're all fools and we don't understand  
><em>_Oh be strong  
><em>_Don't turn your heart  
><em>_We're all  
><em>_You're all  
><em>_For all  
><em>_For always_

She felt his hands in the small of her back, the protective way he was trying to wrap himself around her. He hadn't changed a bit.

_Let us cling together as the years go by  
><em>_Oh my love, my love  
><em>_In the quiet of the night  
><em>_Let our candle always burn  
><em>_Let us never lose the lessons we have learned_

She span out, under his arm and they stood there, staring into each other's eyes, not quite prepared to drop hands.

And then the glass in the window shattered…

* * *

><p>"They just <strong>had<strong> to mess it up, didn't they?"

"Dear…"

"No, they had to, didn't they! For pity's sake, they'd already decided to stay, so why burden all that guilt on her?"

"Jean… What have we said about righteous anger?"

"It's not conducive to my image."

"And…?"

"I need to stop in case of Dark Phoenix incidents."

"Good."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N.<strong>__ The song is Queen's _Teo Torriatte (Let Us Cling Together)_. It's not one of their better known ones but I love it –apparently though, the Japanese doesn't sound quite right._


	238. Let the Dead Rest

**Memories**

Let the Dead Rest

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Marie screamed as the woman from before landed neatly on the floor, whipped around and fired something into James' chest. He was flung backwards and then he rose, swearing rapidly and fluently. And then he turned to stare at her, to stare at **her** with such fear in his eyes.

"Tora…?"

She was hyperventilating. The woman was back and James wasn't treating her as a threat. Instead it was **her** getting the distrustful looks. The woman sent out the red light again and hit Laura as well and now both Laura and James were staring at her as if she'd suddenly sprouted two heads and expressed an interest in tasting human flesh. She looked around, desperate for an escape. And once more the woman flung red light at her. And a rippling ball of water leapt up to protect her, absorbing the red light then vanishing without a trace. She staggered, about to fall. And another red ball hit her right in the chest.

Tora stiffened. She looked around the room, her mouth half-open. What…? What had…? What had she done? She looked back at the looks on the faces of Logan, Laura and Wanda. She half opened her mouth. Wanda raised her hands up in a placating gesture.

"Tora… Don't freak… Listen…"

"What have I done?"

"Tora, listen to me…"

"What have I done?"

"Tora…"

"Help me, what have I done…?"

"Tora, listen…"

She rounded on them, barking out the question in staccato bursts.

"What! Have! I! Done!"

The silence was all the answer she needed. She closed her eyes.

"What have I done…?"

And she looked up.

"I'll fix this. I'll fix all this."

Wanda opened her mouth, desperate to say something but Tora had already thrown her arms out, grasped the threads of reality and **tugged**.

* * *

><p>"Her imagery needed a bit of work."<p>

"Well, strictly speaking, she'd only ever seen the World Tapestry. And you kind of need a visual metaphor to begin with. Not quite at the point of relative causality yet."

"Oh… Yeah, that does take a bit of getting used too…"

* * *

><p>Logan jerked upright. In bed? What the…?<p>

He leapt up as he heard a noise from the corridor, a soft whistling. Reached out.

"Tora?"

No answer. Where the hell was she? Creep out the door, snikt claws and… What the…?!

The dust was swirling in a circle and as he watched, he suddenly realised what he was seeing as the dust –no, the **ash** began to form a shape…

…There was something fundamentally **wrong** about watching your best friend be reconstructed from the inside out and as he watched, the ash began to become solid as the skeleton and organs and muscle all started to form. And then, slowly, skin began to cover organs and fur sprouted and the long tail whiplashed from side to side and bleary eyes looked up at him just long enough to say "_Ich habe es getan, nicht wahr? Ich rettete ihr...?_" before collapsing, Logan barely getting there in time to stop him crashing to the ground. He turned his head around, opening his mouth.

"HANK! HANK, I need you here **right now**!"

Kurt looked up, his eyes half-shut.

"L- Lo- Logan?"

And what could he say but "Hey, Elf."

* * *

><p>"That was always the sweetest thing about them. They could be apart for months at a time, think the other dead, but when they saw each other again, they could be so understated about it."<p>

"Or they just gave each other a huge hug."

"That too."

* * *

><p>Steve woke to a tapping on his window. Given that this was thirty stories up, he was admittedly nonplussed. The shock came when he saw the person tapping; their wings beating and hair flickering in the breeze.<p>

"Tan…?"

"Open the window, Discus-Boy. It's freezing out here. And the wind-chill isn't helping."

He opened the window in a daze and she fell in.

"You're alive…?"

"Obviously, genius. And slightly worried with it. I was supposed to die and stay dead."

"We… We were married…"

"Tora's missing."

That silenced him.

"Logan thinks he knows where she is. He wants the Avengers as back-up. We don't know what state she'll be in, or even if she'll do a Wanda and vanish for a few years."

She moved for the door. He grabbed her arm.

"What, Steve?"

"Before you go out there, I am going to do something and I don't want you to stop me."

"What?"

He pressed his lips to hers, half-expecting her to attack him. Instead she kissed him back then pulled away.

"Seventy years. I waited seventy years for that."

He grinned.

"Puts my suffering in perspective, doesn't it."

She laughed.

"Come on. We really haven't time for dallying. Tora may end up destroying the Universe and it'll be because you were too busy kissing me to assemble the Avengers."

"Decent trade-off."

She hit him around the head then twitched her wings out.

"Notice a difference?"

"Tan… They're healed!"

She grinned.

"Yep. I think I shocked a few people when they wandered downstairs to find me lying on the sofa in a shroud. Why Tora had to bring me back in winter when I had to break through the frost to get out of the bleeding coffin, I will never know."

She opened the door and marched out.

"AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!"

The doors opened as people tripped out. Hawkeye pointed at her.

"Great. You're back. I thought we just got rid of you."

She shrugged.

"Look, I haven't got a clue. One minute I'm in the middle of a Scrabble Grandmaster Tournament in the Afterlife; the next I'm a physicist and married to Steve; then I'm stuck in a freezing cold coffin who knows where. I couldn't teleport out so had to dig. It was cold."

She raised her hands, showing fingernails caked with blood and dirt.

"Now, Logan thinks he knows where Tora is. He wants everyone he can get to try and talk her down."

"Where are we going? Where is she?"

Her eyes darted down then back up.

"The one place she never left."

* * *

><p>"Oh, how <strong>sweet<strong>. And how terribly, **terribly **sad…"

Death grunted.

"Humph. That was just **cheating**."

"You're **still** sore about that, aren't you?"


	239. Minor Continuity Errors

**Memories**

Minor Continuity Errors

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Logan stood in the wings of the school auditorium, about to go out and explain everything. Then Etana gripped his arm tightly.

"Logan… Before you go… I need to check something… You went to the island, didn't you?"

Logan frowned.

"What island?"

Etana's eyes widened in shock.

"The island I gave you the coordinates to. The one I told you to go to after I died."

"What island?"

The look of Etana's face made it quite clear something had gone horribly, **horribly** wrong. She snatched up some paper and a pen scribbled down a latitude and longitude then handed it over.

Logan glanced down then back up. Something told him there was more at stake than Etana was hinting.

"Tan… What's on the island?"

She glared at him.

"Something incredibly precious, that you may well have ruined forever."

And she stalked off, leaving him very, **very **worried.

* * *

><p>"Oh, for pity's sake! Just <strong>tell<strong> him!"

"I think this was a case of 'if I tell him, he'll be so guilt-striken he'll either forget the job at hand or do his best to forget about it'."

"He wouldn't…"

"If it suited him, he might."

* * *

><p>Logan stepped into the light, his face tense.<p>

"We think we know where Tora is. But getting her back is going to be diff-"

"Why don't we just leave her there?"

Logan's head snapped around to face the speaker.

"Hawkeye, are you **seriously** suggesting we leave a mentally-unstabled woman with power a **god** would dream of having in the hands of Weapon X?"

There was a long moment's silence. Then uproar.

"Why the hell would she be there?!"

"That's just stupid?"

"She **deserves** what they'd do to her!"

"They'll torture her to death!"

Etana rose and her voice thundered across the room.

"QUIEEET!"

Silence fell once more. Etana's face was unreadable. And then she spoke softly, calmly.

"How many people in this room owe their lives to Tora one way or another? How many of you has she fought beside? How many of you have been mentally controlled at one time, or lost control, or been manipulated, or come over from the other side? You can't begin to truly imagine what Weapon X is capable of. Think carefully about what you say, because you could end up condemning a woman who could be any one of us to a slow, agonising and humiliating death."

Silence for a long time. And then Daredevil spoke; slowly, hesitantly.

"I'm with Logan. I'm going to save Tora."

"So am I!"

The flood gates were open and promises of help rushed in. Logan raised a hand for quiet.

"We can only take a few. Those closest to Tora for preference. And those capable of stomaching what we're about to see."

"I'll go."

They all turned and Logan frowned as Scott got up –the fact he had been underground for the last few months was being ignored in light of the Tora crisis.

Half an hour later the final team had been assembled –Wolverine, Shadow, Nightcrawler (after insisting he was allowed to go and that he felt fine, really, he did), Cyclops, the Scarlet Witch (pointedly not meeting eyes with Cyclops), Storm, Marvel Girl and –after much arguement– Captain America. Daredevil was patently **not** sulking and the Young Avengers certainly weren't planning on following behind and getting involved (Heaven forbid!). Logan looked over the remaining X-Men and Avengers.

"If you wait on the outside, we'll manage most of the guards. Problem, we'll call you in. Understand?"

The assembled heroes nodded. Logan snarled.

"Then let's get Tora back!"

* * *

><p>"Yay! Rousing speech, war cry, huzzah!"<p>

Phoenix and Death exchanged nervous glances then looked at their host. The unmasked side of the face was taut.

"Are we a little highly-strung right now, dearie?"

The look Death got was pure poison.

* * *

><p>Logan looked down at the enterance into the complex then looked back up at the team.<p>

"Listen… Ray, Steve, Kurt, 'Ro… I want your promise that if there are guards down there, you won't interfere."

Storm's eyes were steely.

"Logan, I saw Tora's suffering too. I doubt any of us shall get in your way. Isn't that correct, Captain?"

Etana span a sword round in her hand.

"I've wanted to get my hands on Weapon Plus for decades. I just needed a decent excuse."

Then she turned to Nightcrawler.

"I'll take Logan, Steve and Scott. You take Ororo, Rachel and Wanda."

A swift nod and the two teleporters made their groups huddle around them, counted down and –in perfect unison- vanished and reappeared right in front of the gate. The guards didn't have time to yell before a hex bolt downed one, an optic blast another and the third fell with one of Etana's throwing knives embedded in his throat. She stooped and was soon flipping the now clean blade around.

"I'll take point."

No one questioned her prerogative. Her wings could easily shield them and she was wearing unbreakable adamantine armour.

As soon as they were through the door, guards came storming out, heavily armed. The small group was outnumbered but easily ripped through the ranks like a hurricane. In Storm's case, actual hurricane force winds were used. Down the corridor, searching desperately for any sign of Tora. And then the woman stepped out.

She wasn't armoured. Her black hair was a riot of curls. Her eyes were dark. And a metal collar peeked out through the open neck of her fatigues. Then she gestured and the scratchings on the metal walls that they had all ignored became three-dimensional turrent guns. Cap got his shield up just in time as the others let rip; smashing right throught the Gatlings. Logan span forward so his claws rested right on the woman's stomach.

"W… Weapon X…?"

His eyes widened as he called up an old description.

"You're Eva, aren't you?"

The woman nodded hesitantly. Logan snikted his claws back in.

"We're here to rescue Tora… Xii… You as well, now we know you're alive."

Eva looked amazed. Then sad, so very sad.

"Xii… Xii's beyond redemption…"

"No."

They turned. Kurt stood there silently.

"No one is beyond redemption."

Eva looked away despairingly then continued.

"We used to do everything together. And now she tries to kill me on sight. They broke her. She's theirs'; mind, body and soul now."

Logan snarled.

"Not if I can help it. You able to help us?"

"If I can get this _maldito_ collar off…"

Marvel Girl grinned as the collar neatly disassembled itself.

"No bother."

Eva jerked her head as Logan pulled her up.

"This way. It isn't pretty."

There was no more resistance. Eva was obviously the last line of defence. The now turncoat last line of defence stopped outside a metal door.

"The control room is directly opposite. If… If you can save Xii…"

She turned away, obviously not wanting to see what was inside. Logan prepared to stab the door but Etana shook her head.

"Adamantium. My area, sweetie. Molecular slicing, coming right up."

The katana swished and the door fell in. And they all stood frozen.

* * *

><p>Phoenix looked worriedly at their faces.<p>

"This isn't going to be nice, is it?"

The masked woman shook her head slowly.

"Not at all."


	240. Angelkiller

**Memories**

Angelkiller

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

There was a figure in the centre of the room, tied to an X-shaped metal crucifix, head hanging down. As they watched, a laser was fired, hitting right into the stomach. The head rose, the teeth clenched and bared with pain yet no sound passed her lips. Etana swore in Hebrew, vanished and there were suddenly a few brief screams from behind the mirrored wall opposite. The laser was switched off and Etana's voice spoke over the speakers.

"The room is now under my control. For the sake of all that's holy, **cut her down**!"

Logan was there first, claws ripping through the bands holding Tora in place. The bloodied, naked woman felling forwards, allowing Logan to catch her. He moved her head back slowly and almost dropped her. Her eyes, half-open, were blank and lifeless. The eyes of someone who had known hope and had it totally shattered; who had fought and been defeated; had never loved or laughed or been cared for. He glanced over at Rachel and Wanda, who nodded. Then he looked back at her.

"We don't blame you. When we make you remember, know this is a rescue mission, not us arresting you. We pushed you too far."

The eyes registered no hint of comprehension or even having listened. Then the two women touched Tora's head. Red light and blue flames flared and Tora's eyes widened. Logan let her collapse into him then jerked his head from Storm to Tora. The black cloak was wrapped around Tora and then she looked up properly and her mouth dropped open.

"E- Eva…?"

They stared at each other for a long moment then they were hugging and laughing and crying. Eva rested her hands on Tora's shoulder and raised an eyebrow.

"I have two sets of memories, Xii. In one, I die. In the other, I live. Care to explain?"

Tora shook her head.

"It involves quantum. Don't ask."

Then Etana was beside them, a group of men and woman cowering beside her. Logan raised a hand but Etana shook her head.

"Get her out. Fix the door. I'll follow."

"Tan…?"

Her eyes were icy-cold.

"I'll leave them untied. But I'm removing all safety parameters. If they can get out, good for them. If not, then let's see how well they heal."

No one spoke up in the defence of the quivering people. Instead they walked out as Etana turned her gaze on them, eyes so cold they made ice look warm.

Tora was staring at Kurt and then she slowly reached a hand out, as if certain he would vanish the moment she touched him. He smiled gently and grasped her hand, squeezing it tight.

"It's me. I promise."

Her mouth opened but she was interrupted before she could say anything as Etana appeared next to the small group as the screams started, her face stoically expressionless and her eyes not displaying one iota of remorse. Then her face softened as she wrapped an arm around Tora.

"Eva's safe. Safe, alive and well."

"Of course I am, I'm right here."

Etana smiled.

"Eva, the Eva I refer to is five years old and Tora's daughter."

Eva stopped dead.

"Really? You… You actually named your daughter…after me?"

Etana laughed.

"Eva Etana Logan. Looks like her mother. Daddy's girl through and through. Thinks a cosh is acceptable to carry to a dinner table."

No one asked how Etana knew that. Eva had a look of dawning comprehension slip across her face.

"Wait. I think I get this. Xii was both here and she was also rescued and had a kid. I'm alive and also dead. It's like two timelines have become one and they're **both** true but human minds can't cope with both so we only have one set of memories."

Tora groaned. Eva glanced over.

"So what does Xii have? How can she cope with that?"

"Because I'm not human. Not really. Not anymore."

"Hold it right there."

Tora stiffened then glanced at Kurt.

"Take everyone you can and **get out**."

He nodded and grabbed Wanda's hand, who grabbed Rachel's, who grabbed Storm and they vanished. And Tora turned, still leaning on Logan.

"Hello… Professor…"

He was small, and the word that kept leaping up and down in Logan's mind, desparate to describe him was "mousy". His lab coat was open, revealing food stains and a crumpled shirt; his beard was thin and wispy and his glasses magnified his eyes to give the impression of an owl.

Logan blinked. **That** was the Professor? Tora's face was expressionless but her muscles were tensed up with horror.

"Now, now, Weapon X-ii. Not one step further. After all, I made you what you are today. I **am** your Creator and you **will** obey me."

Logan opened his mouth but Tora hauled herself upright, her eyes flashing.

"No. You are not my creator. You mean less than nothing to me. I have recreated myself and you mean less to me than the stranger I pass on the street. I won't even lower myself to hating you, because hate suggests I bequeath you with at least some emotion. No, I am indifferent. I could not care less if you lived or died. I no longer look in a mirror and see Xii. I see Tora Logan, a self-made woman. I leave here today free of you."

Etana was obviously restraining herself from launching herself at the man and throttling him.

"You think they will ever trust you again? Oh, I've watched, with some confusion and now it all makes sense."

"They may never trust me but at least they don't use me. Goodbye, Professor. I shan't say it's been a pleasure."

She turned and took three steps before he spoke.

"As I created you, it is my right to destroy you."

And then she staggered as the bullet sprayed blood from her chest. The Professor smiled cruelly.

"Your healing halter was most effective for designing weapons. We've managed to synthesise it. Die knowing you gave us the method to kill all those you hold dear. Starting with Weapon X."

The gun was pointed at Logan's chest and he felt his lungs tighten in fear.

"**NO**!"

She straightened up and as they watched, the bullet wound healed and she turned to face the Professor, her face beautiful and terrible.

"Impossible…"

"**Nothing is impossible for me. I have seen worlds rise and fall, and decide the fate of civilizations. I am Water. And Life Renewed. Fear me, for now and forever, I am Dragon. And you DARE attack me!?**"

Her eyes were gleaming silver, empty orbs of light as she raised one hand.

"**Die.**"

Waves shot from her clenched fist and coiled around him. He didn't have time to scream before he collapsed to the ground; a withered, ancient body that crumpled to dust as they watched. And Logan was frozen, muttering under his breath "No, not now, not this, please not this…"

She turned to face them and they recoiled. Her face was skeletal then reformed to appear without scars or blemishes. The borrowed black cloak rolled off her shoulders to reveal burgundy and tarnished silver. Her lips twisted up in a cruel smile.

"**Run little children. It makes it all the more glorious.**"

They were paralyzed as she raised one hand and sent a wave right towards them –and silver flames blossomed from Etana's clenched fists, shielding them from Dark Dragon's wrath.

"Run…"

Her voice was strained. Eva took no more telling and sprinted off towards the exit. Cyclops, Wolverine and Cap halted. Etana looked over her shoulder, the strain plain in her eyes, betraying the struggle it was for her to keep this up.

"Run, you blithering idiots!"

And then she ignited in all her angelic glory and Scott grabbed both Logan and Steve's arms and pulled them down the corridor. The last thing Steve saw was Etana drawing a flaming sword and facing the **thing** Tora had become, just as Tora dissipated the flames Etana had conjured with a casual wave of her hand.

"**You will have to do better than that, Little Death.**"

Etana didn't say anything, merely lunged forward.

"TANA!"

"Steve, we have to get out!"

"NO! NOT WITHOUT TAN!"

"She's made her choice. Now run, unless you want her to die in vain!"

And then something old and young; dark and light; cold and warm flooded Steve's mind. Something so intricately, irredeemably…

"Tana…"

_Do not grieve, Discus-Boy. I've had my life._

He saw the terrible caricature of Tora lunge and felt horrific agony. And a final thought pierced his mind.

_I will always love you…_

* * *

><p>Death snorted in derision.<p>

"Soppy sentiment!"

"So it's cute when it's mortals, not so sweet and endearing when it's your own servant?"

"…Yes."

"Dear, that's incredibly hypocritical. What about **Wade**?"

"Go away."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>I'll just go hide under a rock somewhere... You know, to prevent you lot all hunting me down and killing me for Etana. I would explain why she had to die, but that would just be like pouring oil on a fire, wouldn't it?_


	241. The Dragon Inside

**Memories**

The Dragon Inside

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

They burst outside and Steve turned back.

"Let me back, let me go to her!"

And Logan grabbed his arm.

"I… I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Steve. It's too late. She's gone."

Nightcrawler arrived next to them.

"What's wrong?"

"Get us out of here."

They arrived at the ridge and Emma went white.

"Code Burgundy! Everyone, we have a Dark Dragon scenario! Training pattern 24!"

"Would someone care to tell me WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?"

Marvel Girl sighed.

"You've heard of Dark Phoenix? Course you have. Well, **that** is Dark Dragon. Arrgh!"

She staggered, clutching her head.

"What's wrong?!"

"Sudden…loss…life… Everyone…down there…dead…"

Emma was clutching her head as well. And then she looked up, her eyes gleaming silver.

"**Hear me, children of the Earth. This world needs healing. Stand in my way and you SHALL die. Now watch my power.**"

Emma's eyes returned to normal but she kept her hands tight around her forehead.

"Felt like…I was dust…"

And in the hollow below, waves coiled around the building and then it all vanished, leaving unspoilt woodland and a figure in the centre turned towards them. She looked so small yet commanded attention. And then she gracefully rose into the air and flew towards them. Scott raised his hand to his visor but Emma shook her head.

"Leave it. Let her come."

"But…"

"Do it!"

And then she was in front of them, floating about a foot in the air with her hair cascading in a nimbus around her as if she were underwater. There was a subtle difference in her facial features, as if all imperfections had been removed and the result was…not quite human. She tilted her head to one side in a childlike manner.

"**Little people. Born from dust. I can FEEL your fear.**"

She reached out and brushed the head of the person nearest her, barely making contact, but still Cyclops' mouth open in amazement. The White Queen screamed.

"She's feeding off him! Using his emotions…!"

"**Well done, little child. I am helping him. Taking all his fear and doubt and pain. Does he not deserve that?**"

"Not with you feeding from him!"

"**But you are afraid. Am I not beautiful? I am all there is to be and know. Love me, for I am your saviour.**"

And her feet touched the air an inch above the ground. She walked forward, stalking through them, water trickling through and around her fingers; the tips of her hair fading into mist. She stopped in front of Logan.

"**You. Your emotions… They are glorious. All-consuming. You are passion and rage and animal joy. You are so full of love, brimming over with fear for…me… You fear ****for**** me?**"

She flung her head back and laughed. It echoed with insanity. And then she snapped her head back towards him.

"**A thought? So guarded, child. Let me in.**"

Her hand clasped tightly to his chin and wrenched his head up so she could stare at his face. He screamed. That seemed to snap the assembled heroes back to reality. And then there was a quiet click, the sound of a 31st century gun being primed.

"This is a StarkTech A-9500-ZL. It's capable of killing anything, **including** cosmic entities. Drop him or I'll fire and even you would have a difficult time healing from a contained positron blast."

Tora whipped around to face Hope.

"**You DARE…!**"

"Yeah. I dare."

A burst fired and hit Tora's outstretched hand. Hope had already started sprinting away, legging it towards somewhere she could get shelter and the others follow as Dark Dragon tilted her head to one side curiously. And then there was a blast of searing heat and blinding light and Dragon was crouching in the centre of the blast crater. She looked up and her eyes were glowing. But the few seconds' reprieve allowed the SHIELD teleporters to be fired up and by the time Dragon was up, everyone was gone. The corners of her lips twitched up cruelly.

"**So this is how we're playing it?**"

* * *

><p>"Eek…"<p>

"Phoenix, we're safe and sound."

"Yes, but it's still freaky."

* * *

><p>The alarms sounded as she strode towards the cowering soldiers. She was bored of the little people who ran out to try and stop her so she sent them flying back with a wave of her hand. And then they ran from her, realising none could stand against her; she of silver eyes and sea-spray hair. So strong, so proud. A broken world, burning under the touch of this stain, progress.<p>

Her fingers twitched; so tempting to heal this place. But not yet. Still too weak. That pitiful shrunken soul. Nemesis had fallen so fall. But then they had always been so sentimental. All that drivel about being **lonely**.

And then a woman stood between the World Healer and the men. Some vestigial part of Tora supplied the name.

"**Magik. The renegade.**"

Sorceress Supreme of Limbo. At the height of her strength, Dragon need not fear her. But she was weak. The threat must be eliminated. She heard others, X-Men. Good. They should witness how those who opposed her died.

One hand flung up, sending coiling waves towards Magik, who blocked it. But the spell shattered under the not-so-gentle pressure and Illanya screamed as the waves stroked and caressed; forcing themselves into ears, mouth, nose, eyes. Blood began to trickle out, diluted by the water. And then the water began to run clear. A voice, screaming in Russian. The ant-like Colossus. No importance.

The sorceress fell, her eyes staring up into the face of her destroyer. Her lips moved, making the shape of Russian words. To no avail. Her eyes rolled back and she crumpled down.

There was a scream of rage and grief. She turned to see the Russian being restrained by his friends. His negative emotions drew her to him like a beacon. They were all so pitiful and insignificant.

"**Begone, Children of the Atom**."

She almost laughed at that. They had not been called that for many years. They were too easy to unsettle. No fun there.

A flick of the wrist and they were scattered across the world. There were none who dared stand against her. The Asgardians, Olympians, all the petty pantheons fled from her. For all those years ago, when they were crumbling despite bonding together, she had come to them and forged the Destroyer out of star-steel; stronger than uru and adamantine combined, created in the heart of a supernova by Dragon. They feared her as their destroyer. And their saviour. So they cowered from her beauty.

And then she reached for the thing she had come for. The Dragon Protocol. There was a fatal weakness to their strength. Remove just one of the highly complex mixtures from the formula and the whole thing was useless. Hence no one knowing where all the components were stored of how many there were. Most people didn't even know the significance of what they guarded. Pathetic.

She tightened her hand around the vial and felt it crumble to dust. Now if only the fools would use the Gems on her…

* * *

><p>"They wouldn't be so <strong>stupid<strong>! Would they?"

"Phoenix, did they **know**?"

"Good point."

* * *

><p>He stood alone, turning the egg-sized blue gem, lit from within by an unearthly light, over and over in his hands.<p>

And then she appeared, coalescing in the mist, walking towards him, tongue darting across her lips in a hungry manner.

"**Charles Xavier. So fearful but so bold. What makes you think you can stand against me, when gods themselves have failed?**"

He opened his hand to let her see the Gem.

"The Infinity Gem. Born in sacrifice. Even you must bow to it."

She laughed.

"**Try it, human**."

She watched in amusement as he tried to find her mind and failed; then opened her mind, forcing herself on him as she revealed the true nature of the Infinity Gems and her pact with Nemesis. His eyes –as blue as the Gem he held– widened in horror. He raised one hand in a vain attempt to guard himself. But she knew him, his whole being saturated with her. She stripped him of the things that gave him identity; the memories, the morals; but left enough of him to scream in rage as she made him the basest human then stripped even that away. And then she grasped his body and scattered it, dust throughout the universe. Charles Xavier, at one with reality. Living, but only on a technicality. No eternal rest for him.

* * *

><p>Phoenix glared at her masked companion.<p>

"You never told me that **she** was responsible for Charles' death!"

"You think she didn't have to live with that every single day of the rest of her long, lonely life? If you hated her for that, she would have nothing left to live for."


	242. Claws of Silver

**Memories**

Claws of Silver

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She walked into the centre of the square. The long coat she was wearing slid off. She raised her hands to the heavens and the rain clouds gathered. A boy ran up to her, exclaiming "Cool!" and then he saw her face and ran. A man threw a curse at her, stating they didn't want "any no good capes around here." A glare silenced him as well. And then she rose into the air and water gathered.

She was rain, river, ocean. Glacier, tsunami, monsoon. Ice, water, steam. Silence within and without as the little people stood in curiosity. She reached deep into the wells of power.

"**Children of Earth, this world is broken. Watch and rejoice, for I am you Saviour**."

And the waves span out. She worked backwards and outwards, methodically returning the land to its former condition. All made, all unnatural; left. Gone. Removed. She heard voices screaming below. But she was concentrating on the bundle of sickness on the edge of town. She carefully healed them all then moved on. Lush prairie. Herds of massive buffalo. Untamed, untainted. Spread out, continue to heal this world.

Outwards and backwards. That was what she needed to do. Those moving at ridiculous speeds or hanging in the air as their car or building was unbuilt were carefully caught and set down. She healed colds and cancer, dizziness and dementia. Nothing was out of her power. She was perfect. Beautiful in her perfection. Terrible in her power. They could not match her. She was supreme in her grace, her lethal tenderness, as waves caressed and cajoled, tore and taunted. She was a refreshing summer shower. She was a tsunami smashing into the coast. She was wind and wave and water. Beauty personified. She was a child of the universe and none dared stand against her. Even the Griffin, with all its supposed might, daren't face her. And the Phoenix…

Oh, the pitiful flamebird would try. But it had always lacked true purpose, and without an avatar to stabilise it… Even when it let go of its inhibitions, it never was methodical. No, it ran off like a directionless child, destroying without thought or purpose. No, preservation had to be thought out carefully. One could not simply dash in. Fools rush in, where angels fear to tread. But then angels could be such fools. Take the pitiful Malach Hamavet…

Etana! And something deeply buried forced itself to the surface.

* * *

><p>Phoenix raised an eyebrow.<p>

"I feel insulted. And also slightly pleased that even when crazy, she recognised my worth."

* * *

><p>When the rapidly encroaching waves falter, Logan allowed himself to feel a twinge of hope he swiftly pushed away. Insane or not, Tora had killed Chuck. They had all seen it, as she turned him into dust. He knew the X-Men would have trouble trusting her ever again. Pete would hate her forever, that much was certain. To Peter, Illanya was still his Little Snowflake, no matter what.<p>

But now was not the time to be pensive as they honed right in on her and then she was in front of them, hovering almost a mile above what should be a city centre. Instead it was a huge plain. People were milling about, scared stiff, trying to cover themselves up from where their synthetic clothes had been vanished. The teleporters immediately started evac and Thor flew up to enage. Logan could see Wiccan, Cloak and Pixie working furiously; Strange casting a shielding spell that should hopefully protect civilians; Quicksilver helping the evacuation procedures; and Thor being slammed to the ground, one of Dark Dragon's hands tight around his throat.

The Scarlet Witch attacked next and this had more effect than Thor. Dark Dragon staggered back and for a moment Tora was visible; blue uniform, scarred face, golden eyes. And then the empty mask returned and Maximoff was sent flying back by a huge claw of water backhanding her. Quicksilver caught his sister and then Rachel attacked, blue firebird soaring. The huge dragon face its opponent and the two grappled.

But Logan could see Ray was faltering and resorted to Plan B. He dived straight towards Banner, barking out two words. A few seconds later he was hurtling through the air towards Dark Dragon, who was distracted by Marvel Girl and…

Claws pierced flesh and both woman and dragon gave out a horrific scream. Tora whipped around and a hand caught on his neck. Logan could feel his airway tighten as fingers coiled closer together. And then Tora's frightened eyes were fixed on his and she let him go, let him tumble through the air for Thor to catch. And that moment's reprise, where they **could** have won was lost and Dark Dragon was in the fore once more.

"**You DARE attack me? You are naught but dust on the wind. You destroy this world. You are a blight upon it!**"

She flung up a hand and waves shot towards them. Logan knew without a doubt that the incoming tsunami would kill them. But they were surrounded by a forcefield of red light and blue fire. Ray and Wanda had clasped hands and the Phoenix-shard and the Griffin were working together to hold off Dark Dragon. But it was obvious they were straining and Logan was pleased to see Steve organising their evacuation. They hadn't proved anything except that they were hopelessly outgunned but they **had** brought evacuation time for the settlements ahead. And Logan joined hands with some others as Kurt –the only contact-based teleporter of them all –bamfed him away.

* * *

><p>Phoenix whistled through her teeth.<p>

"Ouch."

"Who are you referring to?"

* * *

><p>Tora slammed the full weight of her body against the featureless black wall. Nothing happened, just like nothing had happened the last five-hundred-and-twelve times. She had to get out!<p>

She turned back round, towards the clear wall through which she could see what Dark Dragon was seeing. After her few semi-successful attempts to wrest control back from the occupier, Tora had been closed in this thing; an accursed trap that nevertheless taunted her with what Dark Dragon was using **her** body and **her** powers and **her** face to do.

When she had seen Etana prepare to face down Dark Dragon, Tora had screamed. One of Death's servants was no match for the Archivist of Reality. And as the flames of the Malach Hamavet were stripped away. Tora had slammed herself against the walls, desperate to save Etana. But she had failed and the human part of Death's Left Hand had been extinguished once more.

Was it wrong to want to kill a part of yourself? Because as Tora had seen the flames snuff out, she had wanted to torture Dark Dragon until it screamed for mercy that could only be denied.

* * *

><p>"She's really not taking this well."<p>

Phoenix and the masked woman stared at Death. Phoenix opened her mouth to say something then closed it in exasperation. The masked woman just rolled her eyes.


	243. Gates of Hell

**Memories**

Gates of Hell

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Logan pressed the replay button again. One of Stark's satellite feeds. Dark Dragon flying and then the sudden falter and fall before righting herself. What did that mean? Did it, **could **it mean what he dared hope it meant?

He heard footsteps. Steve.

"Logan. They… They want you to come through. We're trying to decide what to do-"

"It's already decided, Steve. It was decided the moment she killed Etana. No. It was decided years ago, when she made me swear an oath I'm not going to break."

"Logan…? What **oath**?"

"She made me swear that if she ever took a life, I was to kill her. Not Thor. Not Phoenix. Not Maximoff. Not you. Me. I have to be the one to do this. It's what I owe the real Tora at any rate."

Steve placed one hand on Logan's shoulder.

"You sure you can do this?"

Logan closed his eyes.

"Just remembering what she told me. It's not murder. It's mercy."

His hands clenched into fists.

"Steve, this is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done. I… I want to go alone, but if… if I fail, you do whatever you feel you have to."

"Logan… I… I don't know what to say…"

"Don't say anything then. Look… about Etana… I…"

Steve closed his eyes.

"It's still not quite sunk in. That she came back, much less that she's… she's dead…"

"Steve, I know…"

"She can come back again, can't she?"

Logan shook his head.

"Tora tried explaining it to me. Something to do with because she's an angel of death, she's not allowed to leave Death's realm except on official business."

"Then how…"

"The Three Great Rights of the One-in-Three. Firstly, they can decide the fates of worlds. Secondly, they answer only to the Tribunal. And third… what was it, yeah… they can bind lesser cosmic beings or the servents of Eternity, Infinity, Death, what-his-name and Galactus, though not the Five themselves."

"She could turn aside a Herald?"

"She could do more than that. And there's the fact I think she gets on with Galactus. They have an 'arrangement'. Nothing official, of course."

Steve closed his eyes again and pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose.

"I can give you time. Not much, but it should be enough to…do what you have to…"

Logan nodded then leant down and lifted up a case. Flicked the catches and opened it. Row upon row of bottled vials gazed up at them. He took three then closed the case and handed it to Captain America.

"You're the only one I trust with this."

"What is it?"

"One of the few things that can put us down. Tora's healing halter. Won't work on Dark Dragon mentally, but physically it can be used to put her in pretty bad shape."

Then he pulled his hood up over his head.

"I'll meet you at the gates of hell."

And he turned and left, without another word.

* * *

><p>Phoenix glanced over. The masked woman had her eyes closed and was rocking back and forward humming under her breath, muttering something. Great. She was unraveling.<p>

* * *

><p>He wasn't tracking her. No, he was waiting. Waiting the one place he knew she would come. Wait. Wait and hope. Hope that she would come. Hope that she wouldn't. Hope that he could kill her. Hope that he would fail.<p>

He snikted out his claws and began to coat them in the clear fluid. Simple suspension solution but it worked. Now just to wait. Wait and ready himself. Sitting cross-legged, eyes closed, meditating. And then he felt it. A soft touch to his mind, that odd ordered chaos of Tora's mind.

_Carcajou?_

_Here._

_Are you ready?_

_I…I think so…_

_You have to be __**sure**__. Logan, I don't have long._

_Where are you?_

"Right here."

He opened his eyes. She was standing in front of him, still clad in burgundy but with the scars and golden eyes. He slowly rose. There was a strained look in her eyes.

"You have to do this now. I can't hold her back forever."

Now they were face to face, Logan felt his resolution seep away. Her hair blew across her face and she impatiently pushed it away.

Slowly he moved towards her, raising his hands with claws out. And then, a few inches from her chest, he stopped.

"I can't do this."

Her hawk-like gaze bore into him.

"You swore."

"You broke it."

Her eyes narrowed.

"You let me live, you condemn this entire system to death."

"And you live."

"You die."

He wanted to catch her hand, tell her everything was going to be alright. He couldn't. Because that would be a lie.

"I don't want you to die."

"I have to."

"Then so do I."

"You have to stay. You have to look after the kids."

"I can't kill you… Not like this… Not in cold blood…"

"It's a small mercy I don't deserve, Logan."

"I can't. Tora, I love you."

"And that's why you have to let me go."

"Please don't do this to me."

Her hands slid forwards and clasped his wrists. She began to move forward, about to impale herself. Logan broke free.

"I can't let you die."

"You have to. I'm too far gone."

"No one is."

"Carcajou…?"

"Tora?"

"Will you do something for me?"

"I'm not killing you."

"No. Not that. Just…a kiss. Something to remind me that you don't blame me."

He nodded silently. And then their lips touched. He raised his hands to her face and it was wet with tears, the sickly saline smell wafting into his nostrils. He opened his eyes and could see the tears sliding past her closed eyelids. He gently wiped them away and stopped the kiss, resting his forehead on hers.

"I could never blame you."

And she stepped back, her face still strewn with tears.

"I'm sorry…"

Her eyes changed. Silver orbs stared out of an unscarred face. And she lunged…

* * *

><p>Phoenix sighed.<p>

"There was no other option, was there? Dear? You have that guilty look on your face you got every time we caught you attempting to lie. **Really**! You're a few billion years old and you **still** can't get the hang of deceit!"

The masked woman flushed.

"There's something you're not telling me, isn't there?"

"Not at all, not at all."

"You've gone crimson."

"Have not…"


	244. Forever Plus A Day

**Memories**

Forever Plus A Day

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

The systems had failed suddenly and unexpectedly. There had been a general and rather chaotic period of panic and then the system had rebooted and she had vanished. There was a lot of swearing from Iron Man and no one noticed Captain America sidle into the room looking innocent and ready to violently deny "Unplug it and replug it? Why would **I** do a thing like that?"

There was a flurry of movement as the interception team got ready for mobilisation as soon as she was found. And then the light fired up, a bright red point; Iron Man shouted "The school! She's at the school!" Nightcrawler teleported and then as they arrived, he dropped without a sound. Beast caught him just before he hit the ground and started trying to revive him. Meanwhile, the team got into a circle to protect their fallen member; thrown off by the sudden, unseen attack.

Thor had Mjolnir spinning around furiously and then he heard a noise. He was about to throw it when a figure stepped out into the light.

Logan was staring down at the body he had cradled in his arms like a baby. Her head was tilted into his torso, her arm was hanging down, her chest was a bloodied mass of mangled flesh. Logan himself looked the worse for wear. His costume hung off his body in tatters, his chest was midway through healing from horrific burns and his stomach was stained red with blood. Whether his or Tora's it was unsure.

Then deadened blue eyes looked up at the silent watchers. And in a flat, emotionless voice, he spoke two words.

"It's over."

Steve stepped forward.

"Logan…"

"Someone had surgically implanted a bomb in her chest. She detonated it."

"Logan, I… I'm so sorry…"

He looked down once more at the blood-streaked face pressed to him then spoke softly, quietly.

"Not as sorry as I am."

Thor stepped forward.

"Shield-brother, you know what must be done."

Logan looked up.

"**What** must be done?"

"As Robert Reynolds-"

"You're not throwing her in the Sun!"

There was an uncomfortable silence as Steve stepped forward.

"Logan, you know…"

"I don't see why you have to do that!"

"For pity's sake, somebody **help me**!"

Everyone turned to Beast who was leaning back exhausted.

"We need to get Nightcrawler to hospital. He's totally comatose."

Immediately there was a huge bustle as everyone generally got in everyone else's way. And as Thor took Kurt off for medical treatment, Steve glanced over to see Logan on his knees, still cradling the body. He wanted to say something. But what could he possibly say?

How do you console a man who's lost the most important thing in his life?

* * *

><p>"How sad…"<p>

"How absolutely entertaining! How come you never told me how much fun mortals were to watch?"

"Death?"

"Yes, Phoenix?"

"Do you want to be drowned in the Eye?"

* * *

><p>Curt knew.<p>

That was the worst part for Logan. He entered the small room Steve had set aside for the family. Laura had looked hopeful, Jamie woebegone, Eva with a certain dawning comprehension… and Curt with the terrible weight in his eyes of **knowing**. Logan opened his mouth and found his throat horribly dry. He tried to wet it so he could speak but Curt beat him to it.

"Maman's dead, isn't she?"

Logan paused before allowing the tiniest of nods. At that, everyone reacted differently.

Laura crumpled –that was the only word for it. She choked back tears and her wild eyes begged him to tell her it was all a tasteless joke.

Jamie just quietly lowered his head and folded his hands neatly in his lap. Yet Logan knew his son well enough to know that the restraint was merely his way of coping and that more likely than not, he'd come in the middle of the night, seeking comfort and reassurance.

Eva just looked confused. She didn't fully understand death. To her, it was just people going away. But her face crinkled up ready to cry as she grasped that Maman would not be coming home.

And Curt… Curt just sighed. There was a lot in that single expellation of air. A lot was said and even more was left unsaid. Logan wanted to protect them. He had wanted to shield them from danger and in doing so, opened their way to pain.

Laura slowly got up, still shaking. She grasped Eva's shoulders and steered her out of the room, Jamie following. Curt remained. Father and son sized each other up.

"Dad, answer me this. One question. One answer. I won't hold anything against you. But **please** answer this truthfully. Did you kill Maman?"

"Curt…"

_Your mother looked me in the eye and told me to kill her. She __**begged**__ me to kill her. And when my claws slid into unresisting flesh, her eyes lit up and she thanked me! Her last words were her __**thanking**__ me for taking her life! And then she crumpled, like someone had cut her strings –like __**I**__ had cut her strings. And I felt like I had stabbed myself, right in the heart…_

"Dad? Answer my question. Did you kill Maman?"

Logan stared his son right in his earnest eyes.

"No."

* * *

><p>"So then what…?"<p>

"I don't get this."

"All will be revealed, my dears. All shall be revealed."


	245. Sweat and Blood

**Memories**

Sweat and Blood

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

_She tilted the non-existent head slightly. Odd. Bastion could see her. She supposed she was still registering as a mutant to him. And then she leant forward, spoke in a way that didn't require vocal chords or air._

You are as mutated as I am. You take pleasure in carrying out your prime directive. You were never programmed for such. You are a mutant program, a divergence. You are like us.

_Bastion obviously couldn't hear her and Tora cursed. Why could she never have the good ideas when she needed them? Like when she was fighting to the death? Oh well. Death wasn't actually that bad right now. Especially when you got to see Hope and Logan screaming incredibly endearing battle cries in her name. For Tora, you metal bastard! had a rather good ring to it. Right, she needed to concentrate. She fixed on Hope then gently took Dragon and fed a tiny part into Hope's mind, using the back door she'd left herself when she'd 'blessed' Hope in the briefest of reprieves._

Hope…

Who's that?

Dragon…

Tora?! You're alive!

No… Dragon… The Dragon Song… _No need to get Hope's hopes up. Now that sounded weird…_

Oh… _Disappointment rolled of her. Tora felt a pang of guilt for lying but it was for the best. Hope would work better with grief. It would give her the anger she needed. Yes, her father was dead. But so was her mother figure. And Hope burnt so brightly, in rage and grief. And Tora controlled the sea of emotions and channelled it into a tsunami. Hope held out her hands to her sides and Tora embraced her._

Flame on your right hand.

_Fire, burning, caressing._

Wave on your left hand.

_Water, lapping, soothing._

Love behind.

_Emotions, strength drawn from the X-Men, all so afraid for her._

Hate ahead.

_Bastion sneering at the girl._

Hate to Love.

_And all the power, sheer mutant energy bolstered by phoenix fire and dragon wave. It burst out of hands and eyes and anger. And metal exploding under the stress placed on it. And then Hope was crying because where she had been so strong, now there was just a girl who had lost her parents within two days of each other. And Tora quietly retreated, leaving the girl to her grief._

xXx

_The girl stumbled and then someone caught her. She looked up, grateful and did a double-take. Her rescuer was a handsome boy, somewhere in his late teens, early twenties. Messy black hair, flecked with tiny darts of red. His eyes were startling, heterochromatic. One was normal, bright blue. The other was amber, with a cat-like slit for a pupil. And most obvious for its lack; no letter embroidered on his chest. She knew he was taking in the M, knew if he were human, he would drop her. Instead he put one finger to his lips and grabbed her wrist. He pulled her into the backstreets, away from the Sentinels._

"_Who are you?"_

_He grinned._

"_Here to help you."_

"_Where are you taking me?"_

"_To the Professor. She'll help you."_

"_The Professor actually exists?!"_

"_You bet!"_

_They ran and every now and then pressed up against the wall or doubled back. And finally they entered a tiny house. A handsome blond boy was sitting in a chair, feet up on the table._

"_Hey, Curt. Got the girl? Good."_

"_Hey, Ted. Look, I'll induct her, then come up for my shift early, so you can have a bit longer with Billy."_

"_Curt, you're a lifesaver."_

_The boy leant back and pressed his hand to the wall. The floor slid back and he grinned._

"_See you in ten minutes, Curt. Have a good one."_

"_You too, Teddy. And now I don't owe you for taking my toilet shift so I could go on that date with Jubes."_

"_No bother. See ya."_

_The first boy grabbed her hand and pulled her down a tight, winding flight of stairs._

"_I… I didn't know this existed."_

"_Neither did we. But, well, hang with the X-Men long enough and you get contacts. This leads into the Mole Man's old cities."_

"_You have a city?"_

"_There's quite a few of us. We pick up people. Hey, Billy."_

_The boy they were passing grinned._

"_Tommy's looking for you, Curt. Something about… fireworks and Peepers' bed? I don't want to know."_

"_Thanks. Where's-"_

"_The Professor? Where do you think? The memorials."_

"_Ta. See you later."_

_The girl looked over her shoulder. The boy, who she now realised was 'Curt' shook his head._

"_Nah, Billy's with Teddy. I won that bet, by the way."_

"_The guy when we came in?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_What do they… you know, do?"_

"_Billy's one of those iffy ones. He's a mage but we think his power –the mutant one at least- is reality warping. He basically wishes for things to happen and they do. And Teddy? Well, he's not even human."_

"_Not… I thought…"_

"_We don't discriminate. Teddy's had it harsh. His dad was Captain Marvel. You know, the Kree Avenger? His mom was a Skrull –the shapeshifters- and a princess at that. Teddy was shipped off to Earth as a baby. We're not actually sure what his real form is. We think it's a blond, chunky, green-skinned boy. But seeing as he's a shapeshifter with Kree super-strength and invulnerability, we aren't going to try and find out. This way."_

_They entered a huge cavern, lit with luminous fungi. Curt steered her towards a tall, thin, spindly building, almost reminiscent of a termite mound. She looked at him._

"_It was the old cathedral. We moved here after the Mole Man and his people were wiped out. You might want to be quiet."_

_They entered and her mouth dropped. All the walls were embedded with life-sized stone statues of people. Curt smiled sadly._

"_We have a few telepaths hooked up to a…power-enhancer, and every time a mutant or superhuman is killed by the Sentinels, we make a tribute."_

"_They're beautiful…"_

"_Yeah, well, some people here… The Sentinels messed them up. The Professor's at the far end. In the X-Men memorial."_

"_Thanks."_

"_Probably talking to Dad again."_

"_Your… Your dad was an X-Man?"_

"_Both my parents. Dad was killed pretty soon after the take-over. Marked as a Level 1 threat, see? Which is pretty impressive, seeing as that was the level of Magneto, Charles Xavier, the Scarlet Witch and Phoenix."_

"_I… I'm sorry…"_

"_Don't be. Dad died protecting my little brother and sister. He'd always wanted to look after us. I think he'd be proud of us. Jamie almost single-handedly runs the entire computer infrastructure and Eva… Well, Eva's the best fighter her age. The Prof's just down there."_

"_Thanks…"_

"_Gotta go. I'm on door duty and I promised Teddy I'd go early. Tommy should turn up in ten minutes, give you the guided tour. If he goes too fast, just say."_

_The girl gulped and walked down the long corridor, towards the figure sitting in the wheelchair, surrounded by stone statues. She was about ten feet away when a soft voice spoke._

"_What do you think?"_

"_You're… You're a woman?"_

"_Typical. I'm a professor, so I have to be a guy."_

_The chair moved round, revealing a thin, tired face; cropped red hair with a streak of black and four parallel scars marking the right eye._

"_Although, I'm no longer an 'official' professor. The '09 Mutant Act. All mutants are stripped of academic qualifications. Sucks. Charles Xavier persuaded me to take higher education. I stuck at it. Seven years of hard work slogging through a degree then the doctorate down the drain."_

"_You were a professor?"_

"_At ESU. I used to teach Computing Science."_

"_You're… Weren't you…"_

"_Tigress. Yeah. About a million years ago."_

"_What… What happened…?"_

"_Sentinels' wanted an 'example'. They surgically severed my spinal cord. Paralysed below the waist. When the X-Men attacked, I pulled myself into one of the air ducts, pulled my way out. Almost killed myself. Tommy, Billy and Teddy found me. Got me to safety, got me through the fever. And I started my little resistance, rescuing as many mutants as I could without drawing attention to myself. By the way, the Sentinels have now found your carcass, torn to shreds by Marauders. We have to be careful. Every now and then, we can stage a transport accident."_

_The woman grasped the wheels and pushed herself down the corridor. The girl hurried after her._

"_What's your name, kid?"_

"_Elsa."_

"_We'll have you taken to the Surgery, get the tracker taken out. Don't comment on the surgeon, Jamie's our most qualified. He just happens to be ten."_

"_You… You have a ten year-old-doctor…?"_

"_We're stretched. We'll introduce you."_

"_Er… Professor…?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_What… Were the stories true?"_

"_What stories?"_

"_About… About you…"_

"_What about me?"_

"_That you took the Sentinels on single-handed."_

"_Before I lost any sensation in my legs or after?"_

"_I… I'm sorry… That was tactless…"_

"_No bother."_

_The Professor wheeled her chair around. Elsa reached out a hand._

"_Wait!"_

"_What?"_

"_How… How many… How many X-Men survived?"_

_The woman looked over her shoulder._

"_One."_

xXx

His hands were coated with her blood as she tried to struggle but he just laughed coldly as she screamed. She had thought this was over! She'd thought she'd never have to go through this torment again! But he was smiling as the scalpel dug straight into her gut and she screamed again. She tried to lash out but he pinned her down, his breath stinking of semi-rotten meat as he lowered his lips to her ear.

"This is just to make sure he doesn't get hurt."

She screamed again as she felt the weight in her stomach being gently removed and then the pain as her body tried to heal the injuries whilst also trying to find the life it had been sustaining that had just been ripped from it brutally. And a child's face, red and scrunched-up, was hovering in front of her eyes.

"Looks like you're good for something after all…"

_She screamed again and warm arms were wrapped around her, a low voice singing a lullaby in German and she relaxed, realising the event had been some fifteen years ago and she was safe now, because Logan had been captured and Kurt… Kurt… How had she been so blind? That she'd seen Logan and never him, never kind, funny, endearing Kurt who had never raised a hand to her, even in anger and especially not in fun. Who right now was rocking her back and forth from the nightmare, singing softly and warmly, never letting her slip back into the past. There was a crash downstairs and they both shot up, a testament to years of training and fear._

"_I'll go."_

_He caught her arm._

"_Not a chance. Let me."_

"_Together?"_

_He nodded and they rose silently, creeping down the stairs in silence. A single claw protruded from Tora's hand as Kurt carefully pulled the foil from the umbrella stand. They slammed the kitchen door open together and froze. Half-collapsed over the table, blood streaming from gaping wounds, was Etana. She looked up, eyes fuzzy._

"_Got out… Needed safe… First place thought… Logan… Out…"_

_Tora stiffened but leapt forward when Etana pitched towards the floor, catching her with a grace she hadn't displayed in years._

"_KURT! First aid kit!"_

"_Got it!"_

_They worked silently and effectively, slipping into the routine they used when X-Men, some nineteen years back. Kurt 'ported her upstairs to a spare bedroom and Tora got the bandages, disinfectant and all the other items needed in a house with Jamie._

_Upstairs, Kurt was carefully, tactfully removing the worst torn parts of Etana's clothes, glancing over at Tora._

"_You know I can't risk getting her blood in my system."_

"_I know. You just make sure the kids don't find out she's here."_

_He hugged her._

"_We were meant to leave all this behind, Liebling. I can understand if you just want her to leave."_

"_I can't."_

"_I know."_

_He pecked a kiss to her forehead and slipped out. Tora quickly moved over, cutting away the last of the ruined clothes and started cleaning the cuts. They were deep, slashes and gouges. All in sets of three, all caused by Etana twisting at the last second to avoid being stabbed. Her face contorted with pain as the antiseptic dripped into cuts but there was no other response. Tora placed pads onto all the cuts and then resorted to simply binding up Etana's whole torso to deal with the bleeding. Then to the less life-threatening, but nonetheless serious injuries to arm and leg, the careful attempts to smooth and clean feathers coated in a thick layer of blood. Not all of it was Etana's._

_Tora closed her eyes. She could smell Steve's blood, Max's, Reed's. Of course… There had been a big meeting of all the old High Command, to celebrate the fact Etana had got fed up of waiting and told Steve to propose or she would. They had been invited but declined. And if Logan had escaped –which he shouldn't be able to do- then he would have been perfectly placed to kill almost everyone who stood against Apocalypse. And then Etana's eyes fluttered open._

"…_To…ra…?"_

* * *

><p>"This is really rather disturbing…"<p> 


	246. Farewell

**Memories**

Farewell

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

They stood in a subdued huddle. Only those closest to Tora's heart had been invited. Steve was pointedly ignoring Scott and Erik's presence, to save awkward scenes. The air was distinctly tense. Hank wasn't there –Kurt still hadn't woken from his coma and Beast was still trying everything he could.

Tora went without a coffin. Instead she lay there, in the black and yellow training uniform of the X-Men, wrapped in their flag. She went without the cowl and her face seemed…peaceful. She looked as if she could have been sleeping but Logan knew that wasn't how she slept. Her face flitted from expression to expression, lightning fast as she dreamt. She shifted position constantly, often taking up most of the bed as she did so. He had studied her sleeping. Now he desperately scanned her features one last time, determined to memorise her facial structure –the exact shape of the eyes, the slight twist in her lips from the scars, the silhouette of her nose in profile, the way her fringe covered her forehead… So many details, little irregularities that made her so perfect.

The final words were spoken, the Blackbird bay opened and her body tumbled out into the sky, falling until it hit the Pacific below, the adamantium weighing her down, sinking her without a trace. Dragging her down almost seven miles to the ocean floor, where the immense pressure would crush her and the hagfish would gorge on flesh. The Challenger Deep in the Marianas Trench, the deepest known part of the ocean –and Tora's final resting place. As a send off, it was pretty impressive.

Logan squinted at the water below and he could see shapes in the waves. Namor and the Atlanteans, following her as deep as they dared go, a funeral procession fit for a queen.

He turned away. He didn't want to think of her lost forever in the cold, dark ocean. He couldn't cope. Not without her. Not without the soft-spoken "Carcajou" at times of stress not without the tender hands that knew how and when to massage the tension out of him, leaving him willing and eager to reprocate; not without the dry comments during every mission briefing. He needed her.

But she was already sinking to obscurity far below as Namor broke the surface to join them in the Blackbird. The King of Atlantis entered and glanced over, seeming to understand that right now, Logan just wanted to be left alone. Storm stood beside him, tenderly wrapping an arm around him. Right now, that was all Logan wanted. One person willing to sit with him and not say anything, merely think about…he couldn't even think her name…

Then he heard raised voices and looked up. Curt was standing in front of Namor, his finger pointed under the Avenging Son's nose.

"Why are you here?! You always made it clear you only **tolerated** her! So why are you here?!"

Storm rose, preparing to go defuse the situation but Logan put a warning hand on her arm. Right now, Curt needed this. It was his way of coping. He withdrew from everyone and then would suddenly lash out, like a wounded animal. Namor was looking outraged as Curt bristled.

"You hated her and she considered you a stuck-up toff who hadn't a clue about real life! So why are you here?!"

Logan let the slightest of smiles touch his lips. Tora and Namor had never seen eye to eye. Tora considered him a chauvinistic, misogynistic royal who was out of touch with modern politics and still preferred thumping people to diplomacy. Logan knew all about this from some of her rants –as well as knowing what Namor had tried to make Emma do when the Juggernaut had attacked San Francisco. Not to mention that Logan had a sneaking suspicion that Namor had once tried to proposition Tora and that was the reason he'd been walking around with a black eye and an odd gait suggesting someone had used what was now widely known as the Etana One-Two. Punch them in the face then knee them in the groin.

Curt and Namor were still squaring off and then Steve was between them, pulling them off each other.

"This is ridiculous! Would Tora have wanted either of you to behave like this?!"

Curt glared up at Namor.

"She wouldn't have wanted **him** here!"

Namor rose to his full height imperiously.

"How **dare-**"

"Oh, for pity's sake!"

They turned to see Wanda standing there, her face streaked with tears.

"You're fighting at her **funeral**! This is **exactly** what she always warned against! You're dishonouring her in the worst way possible right now! For pity's sake, **stop**!"

Curt went white. Namor just turned away. Logan relaxed his grip on Storm's arm. And the Blackbird turned around, leaving the body behind to continue its lonely journey downwards.

* * *

><p>Phoenix glanced over at the masked woman.<p>

"Okay. Can we see…?"

"Later."

* * *

><p>Logan closed his eyes, crumpling the letter in his hands. Murdock had handed it to him during the reading of the will. Most of the stuff was still being sorted out. Steve had quietly refused the things left to him, turning away saying "I don't think I deserve that." Logan looked down at the letter once more.<p>

_My dear Logan._

_If you're reading this, then I can only assume that I am dead. I sincerely hope that I died as a hero –saving lives. If not, I also wouldn't mind dying peacefully in bed or because I've been cheeky to Dr Doom whilst being tortured. But if all I fear has come to pass, and I allowed the dark within to take over, then I apologise._

_I'm sorry you had to see me fall. I'm sorry you had to watch me lose everything I worked to keep safe. I'm sorry you had to do what you did. And I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me._

_Since Kurt's death, I've not known what to do. I've been afraid of my own reflection. I've been trying to escape the pain that was devouring me. I know I should turn to you –I know I should ask you for help, because you would never deny it to me. But you know how stubborn I am –or was. I was determined to help myself and by the time I realised it was too late, I couldn't tell you how far I had fallen._

_My capture and imprisonment by the Order of the Dragon shook me more than I liked to admit. I think that the reason I accepted their lies was in part because I was hoping against hope I could escape the fate I could see looming. And while I was there, I almost betrayed you in one of the worst possible ways. It was only some tiny, vestigial part of me that prevented me accepting the Voice's lies as fact. I know telling you after I am dead is cowardly and not how you would hope to hear this but I want to tell you this because I feel it is your right to know._

_I still love you, despite the fact I have not been able to voice my feelings properly. The trial is wearing me down –I cannot cope with this. I wish for many things but I cannot shake the feeling that Steve is going to sabotage his own case. It's the sort of thing he does. But right now, I am so weary. I long to rest._

_Please try and shield the children from the threats that will come because of my failures. And please remember that I shall always love you, no matter where I am._

_Yours, forever;_

_Tora._

He crumpled the letter once more in his hand. Where was she then?"

* * *

><p>"<strong>Now<strong> can we see where she is?"

"Okay, Madame Impatient."


	247. Hidden Things

**Memories**

Hidden Things

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Blackness. She was surrounded in blackness. Etana hadn't come for her. She'd always thought she would. No… She… Somehow what she had done –no denying that Dark Dragon was a part of her- had forced her out of the Chosen.

Tora raised her head from her fetal position. Not really helping. She could be upside-down or diagonal for all she could tell. There was no direction, no hint of anything beyond the blackness. She was naked, she suddenly realised. Slowly, she unfurled herself and stood up.

"Hello?"

Her voice echoed off something.

_Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello_

"Where am I?"

_Am I, Am I, Am I, Am I_

"Hellooo!"

_Looo, Looo, Looo, Looo_

She turned on the spot. She was terrified, feeling her heart pounding.

"Who's there!?"

_There, there, there, there_.

And a soft voice that Tora was more used to hearing inside her head.

"I am."

She whipped around.

A figure was appearing in the blackness, glowing softly. Her own face staring at her, dressed in a black version of the Dragon costume from when everything was good. Tora narrowed her eyes as Dragon walked towards her. When the being borrowing her shape got within a decent distance, Tora flung the punch, putting her entire weight behind it. To her annoyance, Dragon simply changed where it was, allowing the punch to sail past its face. Tora whipped around.

"Damn you! Damn you! I just wanted to **die**!"

The blackness melted away to reveal a huge room, high arches and dark shadows, tiny windows letting in light. Tora was now dressed as Dragon had been and the gleaming serpentine body was coiled around the lectern. Tora raised her hand to point at the leonine head resting on the opened book.

"Damn you! I wanted to die and you took that from me! You twisted me until I was unable to live and then you make me unable to die! Damn you, you stupid reptile!"

And now she felt tears sliding across her face.

"I just wanted to die and you took even that from me… Damn you…"

She allowed herself the small comfort of collapsing to her knees. She had gambled everything on her death –on peace at last, eternal sleep which none could disturb. But of course the arrogant reptile had upset the order of things, refused to let her sleep. Oh, and she had just wanted to **sleep**. No. Not sleep. Sleep suggested dreams. She wanted to be anesthetised, prevented from feeling, thinking, pain.

"You took the one thing from me that I would never be prepared to give. You took my humanity. You took my ability to live and die as mortals should. I can never forgive you for this. Damn you to hell, you stuck-up, self-serving _connard_."

Dragon moved forward, so it hovered in front of Tora's face.

"I have need of you still."

"What do you need a stupid human for?"

"Oh, you are so much more than that."

Tora got up and rammed a finger under Dragon's nose.

"Right. That's it. No more cryptic clues. I want the truth, the whole truth, and you are **not** going to give me some mumbo-jumbo about how I'm 'not ready' or too weak! You promised equality –that was my condition! So keep that promise!"

Dragon moved backwards and there was something dangerous in its glinting silver eyes.

"You want the truth? Are you **sure** you are strong enough for such a thing?"

Tora snarled.

"Try me."

Dragon paused.

"I propose…a deal."

"What deal?"

"You do what I need of you. When you do so, I will tell you the truth –I shall not omit or change anything. And then you chose."

"Chose what?"

"Whether to live or die."

Tora laughed bitterly.

"I think I've already made that choice."

Dragon made an amused sound.

"I doubt it. The truth is far more incendiary than you have ever dreamed."

* * *

><p>"They really had to do the big guy posturing, didn't they? It doesn't impress anyone!"<p>

"Says you."

* * *

><p>Logan stared down at the small island.<p>

"That's what she wanted?"

Kitty nodded.

"That's where we're headed."

He frowned. The seas were sapphire blue, the beaches gleaming crescents of sand. It looked like Paradise.

"Land on the west side."

"But there's a building on the east…"

"Yeah. Like I said. Land on the west side. This **is** Etana we're talking about."

"Good point."

The Blackbird landed and Logan stepped out. Sand shifted underfoot and the wind rustled in the palms. The undergrowth shuddered, Logan extended his claws warily… And a big, clumsy-looking bird –standing about a metre tall, with brownish-grey plumage and a large beak hopped out. Logan frowned.

"Is that a…?"

"Dodo…?"

The creature went "nark!" then ruffled its feathers. Other birds wandered out and gaggled together. Logan glanced back at Kitty and Rachel.

"Is this what Etana wanted us to come for?"

Rachel shook her head.

"There's a human on this island. I can feel them. They're so very lonely."

Logan froze.

"What person?"

Rachel shook her head.

"I don't know. Whoever they are, they've had psychic training. Can't get a handle on them."

Logan snarled.

"Head to the house. Find them, find out who they are then get out of here."

They'd barely gone three hundred meters when the coconut almost hit Kitty on the head. Correction –it **would** have hit Kitty on the head except that she'd managed to phase at the last second. Logan immediately went on high alert. It was a good thing he did, because the next second a robot charged out of the undergrowth and tried to decapitate him. The rest of the passage towards the house was a messy fight, with dodos getting in the way of the fight and the robots getting progressively more dangerous.

The house, when they got there, was a beautiful building that seemed to blend into the jungle. Logan opened the door –and a heavy metal bucket promptly poured sand on his head. Another two steps and the cheese wire nearly eviscerated him. Then there were the ball-bearings on the floor; the cleverly booby-trapped door that unless opened carefully resulted in a sword slicing at about waist height; the trapdoor that suddenly opened under his feet and almost dumped him into the sea below and finally he reached a bedroom –a **child's **bedroom; with bright walls and big windows, a doll's house on the floor that was gathering dust, a set of posters on the wall…and quick, sharp, scared breaths being taken from under the bed. Logan crouched down, lifted up the duvet hanging over the edge and…

…Looked down at the dark face peering up at him, huge silvery-grey eyes wide with fear.

"Guys. We have a problem…"

* * *

><p>"Oh. Dear."<p>

"Oh, it wasn't all bad."


	248. New World

**Memories**

New World

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Logan sat opposite the girl, who was hunched up in armchair, still shivering slightly with fear.

"Calm down. Tell us who you are, slowly."

"I'm… I'm… I'm Zillah… I… I'm Zillah Bat Eitana… I… Ima always said I had to stay on the island… I can get everything I want but she's been away so long…"

Logan felt his muscles tense. Eitana. Another pronunciation of Etana, just like Eitan was a variation of Ethan, as Etana had explained when he'd had trouble pronouncing it.

"Who is your mother?"

"She's not really my mother… You see, I am her. She said she was one day going to die so someone had to take her place. So she made me."

Logan suddenly felt a deep set dread.

"Zillah, this will sound very odd. Do you have any parents?"

"No. Ima looked after me."

He glanced over at Rachel.

_Anything?_

_Logan… This will sound strange… She has an identical psychic signature to Etana…_

_She smells the same too._

_Clone?_

_I'm going with that._

He looked back at the teenager. She pulled her wings around her defensively, just like Etana used to do when she was upset about something.

"Zillah, would you like to come with us? It'll be safer there and you don't have to stay on the island."

"Ima said I shouldn't leave!"

"Well …'Ima' told me that I was to come and find you."

"When!? When did you see my Ima!?"

"I'm… I'm sorry, Zillah…"

"She's dead, isn't she?"

"Yes. I'm sorry."

She shrugged.

"She said it was coming."

"Do you need to get anything?"

"Just Simon and Garfunkel."

"What?"

"Simon and Garfunkel. They're my pets. Wait."

She opened the door and cleared her throat.

"Simon! Garfunkel! SIMON! GARFUNKEL!"

And then two of the dodos strutted in. She grinned and pointed at them.

"Simon. And Garfunkel. Ima named them. We've always had dodos. Before Simon and Garfunkel, we had Handel and Chopin, and before that we had Holst and Mozart."

She pointed at the slightly taller one.

"That's Simon."

And then the smaller one.

"And Garfunkel."

Logan buried his face in his hands.

"This is going to be a **long **journey back…"

* * *

><p>Jean pressed her face in her hands.<p>

"He never got over that, did he?"

"Nup!"

"You're remarkably cheerful for this."

"And…?"

"Never mind…"

* * *

><p>"So Etana cloned herself?"<p>

"All the tests suggest so."

Logan and Hank glanced through the window to the Danger Room, where Zillah was practising her use of a bō staff against Gambit –and not to put too fine a point on it, beating him if not soundly, then without resorting to trickery.

"What are you going to do with her?"

Logan shrugged.

"What **can** I do? Enroll her in the school, try and fix up the mess I've made of her. She's been alone since Etana got the Legacy Virus, Hank. She's messed up and it's my fault."

Hank sighed.

"You weren't to know."

"Why?"

"Pardon?"

"Why did she do it? Why would she clone herself and never tell us?"

"Why was young Evan created?"

Logan glanced over.

"Atonement?"

"You've heard how Zillah speaks about her mother, her 'Ima'. She idolises her yet hasn't quite understood the truth behind Etana. She's tried to create a true hero –someone in the mould of how everyone sees Steve."

Logan looked as Zillah smacked her staff across Gambit's back and flipped over.

"**That's** a hero?"

Hank looked over.

"You're colouring her with what you know of Etana."

Logan looked over.

"Look. I've known Tana for most of my life –I lived with her for years. She's not the sort who believes in the "Gee whiz" superheroes. She believed in dealing with threats as she had too. If that meant lethal force, so be it. That's who Tan was and lying about it isn't going to work. And that's what Zillah is too. I can see it in her eyes. She's a killer, Hank. A stone-cold killer. She's one of those who can slit a man's throat and never turn a hair. I don't care about Genesis –sure, he's not Apocalypse, we all know that, you just have to talk to him –but Zillah was still raised by Tana and you can't get rid of that. She'll be the next Shadow, Hank. She won't be able to stop herself."

* * *

><p>"Was he right?"<p>

"Spoilers."

* * *

><p>Zillah sat on her new bed, in her new uniform, in her new home and wished for the old, the comfortable, the familiar. When Ima would come in and sit on her bed whilst Zillah sat on the floor and had her hair plaited whilst Ima sang. Zillah ran her fingers through her silky silver hair and smiled slightly. There <strong>was<strong> one thing she could still do.

When she walked into her first class –three and a half minutes early- her hair was in a long French plait, just like Ima just to do it. She sat quietly and set out books and pens and stuff. School. Like all those books Ima read. Zillah shivered. She just wanted to go home; to the island, to the robots –now rusting heaps of scrap metal, to the dodos –at least Logan had let her keep Simon and Garfunkel, even if they weren't allowed to sleep on her bed.

The rest of the class filed in and Ms Monroe cleared her throat.

"Everyone, this is Zillah. She's a new student, so please be polite and kind to her."

She heard mutterings and she allowed herself to dart a glance around the class. And then her gaze froze on the boy staring at her with fascination. His skin was pale-grey, almost white and his black hair was neatly combed. His lips were marked black and he was gazing at her with an expression she couldn't read. Zillah swiftly pulled her wings around her, trying not to panic. That was Apocalypse! Ima always told her to run if she saw Apocalypse! But Logan wouldn't…? Would he? Don't hyperventilate, don't panic. Don't panic. Hitchhiker's. Think that. Calm down. Quote ten Cat lines from Red Dwarf. Relax. Run through the Parrot Sketch. Calm down.

Zillah took a deep breath and slowly unfurled her wings. She **was** going to do this. This was just like Ima had trained her for. Ready for anything, prepared for anything.

She just wished that **anything** had included high school…

* * *

><p>Jean blinked then started laughing.<p>

"Oh boy, was she right!"


	249. Pain of Death

**Memories**

Pain of Death

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Steve looked up as Logan came in.

"I… I'm sorry we have to do this so…soon."

Logan shrugged. His eyes were tired and Steve guessed he hadn't slept for a while.

"This is uncomfortable but we all need to be here."

Logan glanced around. Steve. Alex. Victoria Hand. Maria Hill. All the ones seen as leader. And Kate. Which meant this was a bleeding **PR** meeting!

Steve gestured to a seat.

"Listen… We've been doing our best but there's…stuff out there. And we can't stop it."

Logan sighed.

"Let me guess. Mutants are evil, kill all mutants?"

"More than that. The Avengers aren't to be trusted, the X-Men want to kill us all, the trial was a fake…"

"It wa-"

"Don't. Look, we're in enough trouble as it is without having to admit to everyone that you…you **knew** this could happen! For pity's sake, Logan, this happened before! Why didn't you **tell** us!? Why did you lie and say she died after being kidnapped!?"

Logan closed his eyes.

"It was better that way…"

"No, Logan, it **wasn't**! For pity's sake, you **lied** about this! You told us she was stable! You **promised** she wouldn't –**couldn't**- turn! And you were wrong! Look me in the eye, Logan, and tell me if I can ever trust you about X-Men affairs again!"

Logan looked almost defeated.

"She didn't hurt anyone…"

"Whereas this time, she killed 352 people! 352, Logan!"

And Logan leapt up angrily.

"And 349 of them were Weapon Plus employees! Steve, they tortured her! They attacked her! They played with her mind! They were worse than **animals**! And how many people did she **save**!? Go on! Give me the statistics of terminally-ill people in the area she razed and I bet it's a damn lot more than 352!"

Kate looked up.

"It numbers in the several thousand, actually. We've been putting that spin on it to begin with."

Alex spoke slowly, carefully.

"You want people to trust you? Then tell the truth. Say you kept secrets. Say you didn't trust each other. Say you were prepared to kill her without backing up the story. Say that somewhere along the line, a child died; that a stray bullet hit her. And then say that the reason Tora turned was to protect that child. Say all that. Admit you made mistakes. Admit that you didn't listen. And then watch as they all talk about how honest you were to come forward and admit all that, to claim responsibility."

There was a long period of silence. Then Logan swore.

"Alex, why the **hell** haven't you been ruling the world?"

Alex shrugged.

"I tended to just leave Scott to do the leading."

Steve was staring at him as well.

"Do you have any **idea** how much that will pi- annoy the politicians?"

Alex glared at him.

"This isn't about **politics**. This is about **truth**. This is about proving that a woman the world is decrying as a monster is actually a true human being, with human fears and flaws. She may have done terrible things but she was driven there by terrible fear –the fear of losing her daughter. Say that. Say that and see how many people will dare disrespect the good things she did."

Kate was scribbling furiously.

"I'm going to schedule a press release. Maybe a conference within the next week. During that time, I want the Avengers and the X-Men to be actively seen of clean-up."

Steve coughed.

"Tony, Reed and the Hanks are collaborating on a rebuild effort that's totally eco-friendly. The environmental damage should be minimal and because the natural resources have been returned, we can-"

"You honestly think it'll stay that way? People are already staking out huge claims. This herd of buffalo is mine, this forest is mine, etc. It's getting out of control."

Maria shook her head.

"It's been claimed by the government. The land is set aside, the go-ahead's been given for the green economy. There are people getting **very** excited about all this. "A new beginning", that's what they're calling it."

Alex frowned.

"Yet at the same time, they're decrying the one who cleaned up the air and the water and fixed the land?"

Hand shrugged.

"It's called **politics**."

Logan got up. Steve frowned.

"Where are you…?"

"I didn't want to come here. I've answered my questions. I'm not engaging in PR. Just…tell Alex or Rogue, they'll pass the message onto 'Ro."

"Logan…?"

"Steve… I'm this close to quitting for good right now…"

* * *

><p>Phoenix frowned.<p>

"Really?"

The masked woman shrugged.

"Losing people does that to you."

* * *

><p>Logan opened his door and almost walked into Zillah, who was standing outside, just about to knock.<p>

"Kid?"

Zillah glanced over her shoulder.

"Can… Can I come in?"

Logan frowned. Something told him that ignoring what Zillah said would be a bad idea.

"Sure."

He stepped back, allowing her to enter. He was going to leave the door open but something in Zillah's eyes warned him to close the door. He did so and then she exploded.

"What is **Apocalypse** doing here!? You told me I'd be safe and a room with **him** is not safe at all!"

Logan closed his eyes.

"Are you Etana?"

She shook her head violently.

"No, I-"

"And Evan is not Apocalypse. Evan is Genesis. He was raised on a farm in Kansas. He plays baseball. He can drive –not very well, but he can drive. He's no more Apocalypse than you are Etana."

Zillah's mask cracked and Logan saw the fear under the anger.

"Kid, what's wrong?"

"Ima…Ima always… Always told me… Run from Apocalypse…"

He wanted to swear. Of **course** Etana would have warned Zillah. And now he hadn't warned her about Evan, so she jumped to the wrong conclusion. Stupid, stupid, **stupid**!

"Zillah, I should have told you. Sit down. I'm going to tell you something you must **promise** to keep secret. I set up a team…"

* * *

><p>"He told a girl he'd known for all of a week about X-Force?"<p>

"Correction. He told Etana's **heir** about X-Force."

"Wasn't she on the team later?"

"Death, why ask a **stupid** question?"

* * *

><p>Steve entered the school and glanced round. Logan's office was…two left turns, up the stairs then a right…? Wasn't it? And then, as he glanced around, Steve saw someone turning a corner. Someone with huge black wings, long silver hair…<p>

"TANA!"

She must have been brought back within the last couple of hours. Logan would have told him otherwise!

He skidded around a corner, just in time to see her turn left. He ran, ignoring the odd looks he was getting from the few students he passed. And then he turned into a corridor and she was there, sitting in an alcove, feet tucked up away as she had her head in a big chunky paperback. Steve suddenly felt his heart leap into his mouth.

"Tan…?"

She looked up. Those startling silver eyes met his and the book fell to the floor. But Steve's heart was now somewhere in the vicinity of the Earth's mantle. She was too young. Only looked about sixteen or seventeen. Her mouth was wide open and he faltered over his next words.

"Who… Who are… Who **are** you?"

She lowered her eyes, and he knew that if she hadn't the same black velvet fur on her face then she would be blushing horrifically.

"I am…Zillah Bat Etana. Etana was my…mother."

Steve felt as if someone had thrown ice down his back. A **daughter**? So… Who was this girl's father? Had Etana lied to him? Or had this girl been the result of a mission gone wrong and Etana had tried to hide her from him. Then he heard Logan's voice from behind him.

"Zil' you're meant to be in Professor Grey's Psychic Defense Class!"

'Zillah' glanced over Steve's shoulder.

"No I'm not! Apparently I keep throwing the grade curve off! Ima taught me psychic defenses."

"Well, don't hang around the the corridors!"

She sighed, gracefully sliding down from the alcove and picking up her hardback copy of "The Lord of the Rings –with full appendices" and hurried off. Steve rounded on Logan as soon as she was gone.

"Who the **hell** is she?"

Logan sighed.

"Etana's clone."

"Who cloned her? Weapon Plus? Doom?"

"Etana."

Steve paused, hearing what Logan said but not quite wanting to comprehend it.

"What?"

"Etana cloned herself. Long story. Look, you need a drink. My office. Whiskey."

The Bamfs were suddenly running around him shouting "_Whiskey-whiskey-whiskey-whiskey_!" Logan swore then began walking off, although not without throwing a kick at the nearest Bamf. It missed.

* * *

><p>Phoenix rolled her eyes.<p>

"And no one thought to **tell** Steve about the clone of his "we would be lovers but destiny hates us"?"

"Nope."

"You're remarkably cheerful about this."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N.<strong>__ Next chapter… Origin of Etana! I promised I'd get around to it eventually. And I did… Eventually._


	250. Shadowchilde

**Memories**

Shadowchilde

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Tora blinked as the blazing sun dazzled her. A body. Great. Now what?

Some part of her took over, pointing her west slightly. She looked down, at calloused, worker's hands. Rough, homespun clothes. And the smell of a… oh, **great**. Mule. She glanced behind her. The big, limpid eyes of her travelling companion stared back. Tora sighed.

"Come on then. Let's get this over with."

They had barely been walking for ten minutes when Tora saw him. The body by the side of the dirt road, the puddle of blood. She ran forward and stopped ten paces away.

The man's skin was tanned. He was dressed in simple clothes and his black hair was shoulder-length. He may have been handsome, before those who attacked him had hit his face multiple times; breaking his nose and leaving him with two spectacular black eyes and a busted lip. His huge grey, white and black wings –falcon's wings, some part of Tora's mind supplied– were curled around his chest, shielding something.

"_Shalom_. I am a friend."

He looked up at her desperately.

"Help…me…"

"What do you need?"

"I…I need…home…"

"Let me dress your wounds."

He slowly, cautiously, unfurled his wings to reveal his torso. One glance at his stomach told Tora everything she needed to know. This man was dying. But clutched to his breast was a bundle of white rags that gave a plaintive mewling cry. Tora held out her arms for the baby and the man slowly, not-quite willingly, handed it over.

Tora peeled back the clothes to reveal black skin covered in the faintest of velvety fuzz, like the skin of a baby mouse. The eyes opened, revealing two silver moons. Tora smiled softly.

"She will need to be strong with an appearance like this."

"Then…let her name…be Etana…" _Strength of the Lord_.

Etana looked less than a few hours old. And then she let out another cry. Despite being three-thousand years and half a world away from home, Tora understood the cry perfectly. She looked at the man.

"Has she fed?"

He shook his head slowly.

"Her mother…dead…"

Tora closed her eyes and poked at Dragon.

_Would you mind doing a bit of…editing to this body?_

_Why?_

_She will starve otherwise._

Tora rearranged the tunic she wore as Dragon rearranged the body she was using. She carefully placed Etana in the sling-like folds of cloth over her chest, hoping against hope Etana wasn't too tired. Apparently she wasn't, as after a bit of searching, she latched on and began suckling. Tora knelt down, tearing the lower half of her tunic to create strips of cloth for bandages. The man was staring at her with delirious eyes.

"You are one of us… Protect her…Please…"

Tora nodded once as she bound his stomach then helped lift him onto the mule –there had been a reason for the accursed animal after all. Then she began walking once more; Eitan almost comatose on the mule behind her, Etana feeding in the papoose. This could be quite amusing to tease the otherwise unflappable Shadow about.

She wasn't certain how far she walked or for how long, only that Etana had stopped feeding and gone to sleep and that Eitan was only a short way from death. His wings were drooping, the tips brushing the dust, clogging the feathers. No Cheyarifim would allow their wings to get so filthy if they were in any state other than dying.

Finally, she saw the small house and stopped, gently shaking Eitan awake and pressing a wet cloth to his lips.

"Is that your home?"

He nodded, barely able to move his head. She placed a hand on his face.

"Hold on. We are almost there. You want to say goodbye, do you not?"

His eyes pleaded her to get him there in time. Tora managed to hurry the mule along and eventually they reached the house. Tora hollered and a man walked out; his build that of a farmer, strong but quick. As soon as he saw the body draped over the mule, he let out a hoarse cry and ran forwards. Eitan managed to hold out a hand, squeeze his brother's in his and whisper something before a low gurgle emitted from his throat and both hand and head dropped. Achav screamed in wordless pain and a woman rushed out of the house in time to catch him as he fell to his knees. She muttered something and Achav glanced over at Tora then slowly got up, walked to her and knelt, leaning forward as if to kiss her feet. Tora crouched down before he could and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I am sorry for your loss."

"How can I thank you for your compassion?"

Tora peeled back her clock, revealing the infant.

"Protect his daughter."

The look on the woman's face was sheer horror, in contrast with the sudden delight on her husband's. Tora carefully handed over the sleeping child, who seemed unaware she was now an orphan.

"Her mother is dead. I could not leave her."

Achav cradled the baby in his arms, gentle and loving, apparently ignoring her abnormal appearance. Tora bowed her head.

"Her name is Etana."

Then she turned and walked away, leaving the mule behind. She heard Mara should "Wait!" but by then she had already left the world.

* * *

><p>"<strong>That<strong> was Etana's origin?"

"Yes, it was rather sad, wasn't it?"

"No, Tora never told me she had to… Oh, this is **brilliant**!"

"Phoenix, control yourself."

* * *

><p>She staggered back into the farm courtyard the next morning, wearing a new body, her feathery hair and vestigial wings on her arms clearly marking her as inhuman –modelled on a Shi'ar but genetically a mutant– begging for shelter, claiming bandits had murdered husband, parents, children.<p>

Achav and Mara willingly took her in, knowing they could rely on the woman who could never show her face to others to not reveal the existence of the midnight child and regarded the fact she had 'lost' an infant as a minor miracle.

She nursed Etana, sang lullabies in languages that did not exist yet and helped Mara around the house. They called her Fledgling and she never called them by name, referring to them as "Master" and "Mistress". She knew they did not believe her to be Hebrew because of her accent –actually a flawless modern Tel Aviv accent, perfected after a few days on a team-up with Sabra– but they did not question.

Gradually Etana began to smile, then laugh, then crawl, then toddle, stumbling and falling over things. Achav would laugh as small hands pulled at his tunic, the little giggling girl with ebony-velvet fur. The only time 'Fledgling' saw him get upset was when Etana called him "Abba". Father.. He had shaken his head and taught her the word for Uncle instead.

Mara avoided Etana as much as possible –Tora gradually began to understand the reason Etana described her aunt as cold. To the childless couple, the sudden inclusion of an infant had caused very different responses. Achav adored the idea of raising his brother's child. To Mara, it was just a harsh reminder of the children she was unable to have.

Etana was soon weaned and Tora's new body –no longer needed– soon gave way to its own frailties, succumbing to a short fever. Fledgling had lived for only a few handfuls of months but she had served her purpose.

The Shadow was still alive.

* * *

><p>"Oh, such pain. Living then dying, over and over again."<p>

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N.<strong>__ I wanted to do something big for the 250__th__ chapter and second birthday of Memories. So how better to celebrate than Etana's origin? I know lots of people wanted to know about her background so there you go. Consider it a present. Suma_


	251. Forged in Fire

**Memories**

Forged in Fire

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

The girl sat on the ground, idly throwing rocks at the small pile she had set up before. The stone fell short and she curse quietly.

"_Shalom_."

She leapt up and twisted round, her silver eyes widening. And then she stopped, as she took in the figure standing in front of her.

This time, the body Tora wore was almost identical to Fledgling, only without the frailties of the body. An almost perfect Shi'ar, with one exception –the face was scarred, the structure that of a Caucasian woman who was not yet born. The relief on Etana's face was obvious. Tora bowed her head.

"May I sit?"

"Who… Who are you?"

"I have gone by many names, child. I am the Dragon. I am the Tigress. Yet to you… I was the one who found you as an infant and carried you to your home. I was Fledgling, who nursed you. I will be your friend many years from now. And if you do not object, I would rather like to change out of this rather irritating form."

"I… Pardon?"

Tora smiled and then surrendered herself. Her DNA rewrote itself and then she stood there looking as she once had, when she was alive and free and oh, so much more than this.

"You may call me Tora, Etana Bat Aleka."

The girl gulped.

"You… You have the wrong person… I am Etana Bat Sarah… No one knows my mother…"

Tora laughed softly and touched Etana's face.

"You really think there could exist another such as you? You are a miracle child, Etana. You are proof that love can triumph. You were born of warring nations and both your parents died to save you."

"My… My mother… Who was she…?"

"She was a princess of a people whose ruler was twisted and cruel. Your father was Prince of his people –the two were deadly enemies. Yet still they met and fell in love. Your father fled with Aleka but they could not flee far enough. Her father, you see, had the power to move from one place to another without walking between them. He would think of a place and he would appear there. Your mother had that gift too. Time will tell if you too have gained the Neyaphim power. Or maybe you will gain something even greater."

"My father… Uncle never talks about him but…"

"Your father was a scholar and a warrior of the Cheyarfim people. The Cheyarfim choose their leader from their greatest warriors and he was their Prince. As your mother was the greatest assassin and spy of your grandfather, until she met Eitan, Prince of her mortal enemies. If you have inherited their raw talent… maybe you too could be as great as they."

The look of awe on Etana's face was painful for Tora to see.

"How… How do you know this…?"

Tora sighed softly.

"I come from a time that is not yet upon us. I was born –will be born- many years hence –when you have as many names as I do and are known as the Defender of Mankind."

The look on Etana's face was sheer amazement. Tora smiled slightly.

"Would you like to learn how to be the Defender of Mankind?"

The eager nod made Tora feel incredibly guilty. What was she doing? But she pointed at the sling wound through Etana's belt.

"Can you use that?"

Etana shook her head.

"Not really…"

"Then we shall begin there."

* * *

><p>"Wait… So everything Etana learnt, Tora taught her?"<p>

"Not at all. Etana was very good at learning stuff herself."

* * *

><p>The three stones were shattered in quick succession before each hit the ground. Etana slowed the sling down and grinned.<p>

"I did good, right?"

Tora nodded.

"Very good, child. I shall meet you here tomorrow, same as I always do."

Etana bit her lip.

"Master… That may not be possible… I… I have my Bat Mitzvah…"

Tora stopped.

"Oh… I must remember to bring you a gift, then."

Etana shook her head.

"You promised to teach me. That is all the gift I desire."

Tora smiled and knelt so she could look eye-to-eye at Etana.

"This is a gift more dangerous and more powerful than anything I could teach you."

The look on Etana's face was half terror, half excitement.

"What?"

"I will bring you a sword. And we shall start your lessons."

The glee on Etana's face was evident. Tora pressed one hand to her shoulder.

"But remember. A stone can hurt more than a sword blow if dealt properly. And this blade –why, it will be unique. It will be forged of a metal stronger than bronze, stronger than iron."

Wide silver eyes stared up at her. Tora grinned.

"Meet me here after your Bat Mitzvah. I will wait."

Etana impulsively hugged Tora then turned and ran. Tora smiled softly and slowly faded away.

* * *

><p>"No… She <strong>wouldn't<strong>…"

Death shrugged.

"She held the blade when she became my servant. At the time she was 13."

Jean placed her head in her hands.

"**Really**?"

* * *

><p>Masamune looked up at the woman standing in front of him in something approaching disbelief.<p>

"You wish…for a sword…?"

The woman nodded.

"I wish for more than that. I wish for the greatest sword that will ever be made, a blade to be carried by a messenger of the gods."

Masamune froze. He remembered the Black Warrior, the woman wielding a pure white blade that sliced through anything. All his life he had striven to create a sword as pure as that. And now someone had come requesting he forged one –a skill he had not yet reached.

"I… I cannot…"

She smiled softly.

"Oh, but you can. I will give you four things to create the perfect blade."

He frowned.

"What?"

"Firstly, I shall give you metals ores to mix with steel. Secondly, I shall give you fire to heat the blade. Thirdly, I shall give you water to temper it."

She paused. He leant forward.

"And what is the fourth thing?"

Her dark eyes suddenly flashed to orbs of pure silver, in which a gleaming dragon lay coiled, glistening wave and she smiled softly.

"And lastly, I shall give you a fraction of my power, my very soul. The blade will be able to cut through anything, but leave the innocent unharmed; as I carve paths through my enemies but leave the guiltless with no injury."

She rolled her eyes.

"You can get up now. I am no god."

He rose slowly. She bowed her head.

"Will you make my blade?"

He nodded. She smiled.

"Then take me to your forge, Master Smith. And I shall guide you in the creation of the most perfect blade to ever grace the world."

He entered in a daze. The goddess stepped forward and pulled out a clay jar.

"Where is your fire?"

He pointed, half in a daze. She stepped forward and opened the jar, pouring out liquid fire that leapt up, forming black and silver flames. She looked over.

"And your water?"

He pointed numbly. She walked over and held her hand over the empty barrel and water swirled from her palm, filling the barrel with pure, sparkling water. Then she turned.

"The metal."

Suddenly she was holding a lump of metal in her hands, dull grey. She smiled.

"This is an ore so rare it only exists in one country. Many years ago, a huge rock fell to Earth from the heavens. In the rock was metal so rare and dangerous, men will kill to possess it."

She handed it to him. He weighed it in his hands and frowned.

"This is too much for one blade, even if I did not use steel."

She smiled and bowed her head.

"Consider it your payment. The alloy must be one part of this metal –known as vibranium in other tongues– and nine parts steel. Begin."

In a daze, he took the ore and began heating the metals over the black and silver flames, marvelling at the speed with which they melted. The woman sat watching him, her eyes inscrutable. And then, just as he began to mix the metals together, to her specification of one part of her mystery metal to nine parts of his common steel, she stepped forward and held her hand up. She opened a bag on her hip and sprinkled something through the molten metal then raised her hand to her mouth and gagged. Something tiny, a soft warm red shot with tiny silver flecks stained the air and she lowered her arm, the colours coiling around her fingers like tiny serpents. She stretched forward and placed her fingers **in** the molten metal, pulling them out unharmed but without the red.

And now the metal was turning white, pearly and opalescent, gleaming and reflecting the light. The goddess stepped back and bowed her head.

"Work your art, Masamune. Work the blade in the way I shall guide you in."

And he felt something collect his thoughts and show him a shape, a blade that was long and slender and beautiful. He worked faster than he ever had before, inspired by the image of the perfect blade, the goddess taking his weariness and showing him the finished worked in his mind as he folded the metal and tempered it; heated, folded, tempered; over and over.

Then the hilt and scabbard, all his attention in the detail. And finally he stopped and suddenly realised that he must have worked non-stop for **days**. The woman bowed then held out her hands for the finished sword.

"I shall repay you your time."

And as soon as the sword was placed in her hands, he was sitting outside his workshop, just as he had been before the mysterious woman had walked towards him and bowed.

No. Not **exactly**. For in his lap lay an orb of metal ore.

* * *

><p>"No. <strong>Way<strong>! Did she just given Masamune the secret of proto-adamantium?!"

The masked woman shook her head.

"No. She never told him the catalyst. His blades were often imbued with the tiniest quantity of vibranium –one part in one hundred– which is the reasons his work is so well thought of."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Sorry. I'll been in Switzerland without Internet access for a while. Gorgeous country. Also, just got back from 26 hour journey home, don't expect this author's note to make much sense.  
><em>


	252. Grieving

**Memories**

Grieving

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Logan closed his eyes as he heard Alex and Steve talking quietly, explaining exactly what had happened. Admitting there had been secrets and mistakes on both sides –admitting that they were responsible for the devastation across the country. And then quietly explaining what had happened –how the Avengers had been too quick to judge and the X-Men too secretive. About how it had led to pain and suffering and ultimately the death of an innocent child –a child whose mother had the power to change things. And because she was a mother first and a hero second –because to her, her child meant more to her than life itself –she changed, allowing a darker, more primal part to take control. Blood had been spilt, but it had only been a mother trying to protect her child. Protecting her from those that should have protected her. The only difference between Dragon and a normal, human mother who happened to carry a gun or Taser was that Dragon had the potential to do a lot more damage –a lot more than she actually did. That somehow, a rational part of Dragon's mind limited the destruction caused and allowed her to go to her death, knowing it would be the only way to stop the terror. Then Storm stepped forward.

"I've known Dragon for years –since we first found her chained and caged, forced to eat her own flesh to survive. She could barely stand and yet the first thing she did on her release was try and walk away from us –to **protect** us. That instinct served her well for many years. And then when she had children –one of whom is my goddaughter- that instinct was focussed and strengthened. She would be prepared to do anything to protect them. I myself admit that when I saw an innocent girl lying dead in her mother's arms, all I wanted to do was kill the one responsible. And yet what Dragon did was more than that. She did not deal death, as I would have, but gave life. That is what must be remembered of her. All she did, she did to save a life. A child's life. And maybe that pushed her too far. Maybe **we** pushed her too far. But she wanted to save an innocent life."

Storm closed her eyes and a single tear slide over her cheek.

"She came so far, and could have gone further. But she chose to die as a human rather than live as a god. We can do no less."

She stepped back and Logan looked away, knowing she had lost almost as much as him. Her stance –protecting Tora, defending the X-Men; had caused her marriage to fall apart. And Logan finally walked forward, feeling numb.

"I want to ask that my family is left alone. We're going through a…hard time… It's…not the best way… My family needs time to try and heal and we want to –**need** to be left alone."

He turned and walked away, ignoring the voices, ignoring the whispers. _Wolverine and Dragon were married… Wolverine was the one who killed Dragon… His daughter was killed… He looks terrible… How can he __**live**__ with himself…?_

Logan ignored them, because he had to go.

* * *

><p>Phoenix whistled.<p>

"It was terrible what happened to him."

* * *

><p>Curt sat curled up in the small storage room in the sub-level. He <strong>wasn't<strong> crying. He **wasn't**. But then, Maman also wasn't dead. And the last thing he'd said hadn't been "I hate you!" Because if it had, why was Curt still here? He had hurt Maman. He'd seen it in the way her shoulders had slumped as she walked away. Had he broken her? Had he been partly responsible for her death?

His head darted upwards as he heard the crash as someone walked into something.

"Who's there!?"

"Just me."

The woman stepped forward into the light; her long, riotously curly black hair framing dark grey eyes. The eyes that scanned his face and then glanced away.

"You look like her."

Curt shrugged.

"Evie looks more like Maman. I think it hurts Dad a bit every time he sees her."

Eva smiled slightly then pointed at the upturned bucket next to him.

"Can I sit down?"

He shrugged.

"I don't mind."

She moved gracefully and resumed staring at him.

"You look more like her than you'd think. Of course, I'm referring to her as a child."

Curt sat up.

"What was she like?"

Eva shrugged.

"Very…intense. She would always focus completely on the task at hand. She would do everything in her power to be the best she could. But I don't know how much was her and how much was just…desperation. But she was kind. She was always kind. When I fell, she picked me up. When I couldn't continue, she carried me. When I was injured, she protected me. I owed her my life, countless times over."

Curt smiled.

"She owed you hers."

Eva laughed bitterly.

"How? How could I **ever** save her?"

"Maman said you stopped them breaking her. She said you made her Xii, not Weapon X-ii."

Eva smiled sadly.

"When we first met, she didn't understand smiling. I smiled and she just looked blank. I couldn't understand. How could you **not** understand a smile?"

She sighed.

"I didn't understand then. I do now. She had nothing to smile about."

Curt looked over.

"Did you find your family?"

Eva shrugged.

"My parents were killed –civil war, barely a small scuffle –doubt it even made the news here. One of my older brothers is dead as well. Another is married –has two kids, one called Eva. Makes me think he didn't know. The last of the brothers I knew is in a local militia. And I also have a baby sister. Catherine. She's in university. I may go and visit her. One day. Maybe. What about Xii –sorry, Tora?"

Curt shrugged.

"Grandpapa and Maman get –**got** on quite well. He's cool. He took me fishing. Grandmama… Not so much. Her and Maman never really got on. They had a big fight. I don't think Grandmama approves of Dad."

Eva smiled sadly.

"At least her parents looked for her. Mine gave me up when they found out I was a mutant."

Curt smiled sadly.

"They told me that. The people who took me. They said Maman and Dad abandoned me. I didn't realise exactly how much that hurt Maman when I said that. Or how much losing me destroyed her."

He looked away.

"She was a good mother. She didn't **think** she was, but she was good. She… She knew how to balance protectiveness with giving me a chance to live my own life."

Eva smiled softly.

"I got that. Just the way everyone speaks about her."

Curt smiled back at her, and this time it was genuine.

"Thanks… I have class but… can we do this again?"

Eva smiled.

"Of course."

* * *

><p>Phoenix smiled softly as Curt rose and walked away.<p>

"That healed him more than he could possibly know."

The masked woman shrugged.

"Yes. It did."

* * *

><p>Logan woke to the soft, insistent knocking on the door. Blearily, he looked up.<p>

"Yeah?"

The door creaked open. If Tora had still been alive, she'd have oiled it –she hated creaking doors –but as it was, it was left creaking.

"Dad?"

"Jamie?"

"I can't sleep."

Logan groaned and lifted the covers.

"Come on then."

Ice cold feet pressed up against his legs and a head snuggled into his chest. At times, you forgot that Jamie was just six –he was too bright –but he was still a child. Still a kid who'd lost his mother and wanted comfort. Logan wrapped his arms around his son and smoothed his hair back.

"It's going to be okay, kid. It's going to be okay."

He just wished he believed it himself.

* * *

><p>"He's not grieving very well. Curt's managing much better than he is."<p>

Phoenix shrugged.

"That's Logan for you. He held his emotions too close to his heart."

* * *

><p>Wanda sat on the park bench, staring ahead blankly. So long ago –it felt like millennia, but it had only been some seven years back –she had sat here with Tora…<p>

_The air was cool, the smell of spring fading into summer was thick in the air –according to Tora at least. Wanda groaned as she allowed herself to sit on the bench. Tora –not quite as far along as she was, and not carrying twins –sat down a lot more gracefully and then handed Wanda the bag of doughnuts. She herself was glumly looking over at the coffee stand. Wanda laughed._

"_Uh, uh. No caffeine."_

_She looked back at Wanda pleadingly._

"_One cup can't hurt __**that**__ much, can it?"_

"_One cup leads to another."_

"_But I can __**smell**__ the coffee!"_

_Wanda laughed._

"_You get used to it. At least you don't have Tony swanning around with far too much coffee."_

_Tora groaned again._

"_I'm __**dying**__ for a cup! I haven't had one for __**months**__!"_

_Wanda patted her back._

"_Get used to it."_

_Tora glanced over._

"_What makes you think I __**ever**__ want another kid? I kept puking all through the night, I can't have coffee and I resemble an inflatable whale."_

_Wanda laughed._

"_Cheek! Anyway, you look __**fine**__. Just… You know… pregnant."_

"_I still __**feel**__ fat."_

"_Does Logan agree?"_

_Tora wrinkled her nose._

"_No. It irritates me."_

_Wanda laughed._

"_Oh, you're so…__**silly**__ about all this."_

_Tora playfully swatted Wanda around the head._

Wanda felt hot tears sliding down her face. She looked out over the still lake, set alight by the lights of New York.

"Goodbye…"

* * *

><p>Phoenix looked away sadly.<p>

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Yes, I know I've only just come back, but I'm off again, and I don't know when or how often I'll have Internet access. Sorry. S-99_


	253. Life and Death

**Memories**

Life and Death

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Etana **screamed**. Tora held her head in her lap as the twelve-year-old writhed in the dust, her shoulders coated in blood. The head reared back and Etana screamed again. Tora quietly placed a piece of cloth in Etana's mouth, to prevent her from biting her tongue off.

Tora gently peeled back the top of Etana's shirt, revealing unnatural bulges on the shoulder blades. She closed her eyes.

"Do you trust me, Etana?"

Etana's silver eyes stared up pleadingly and she nodded. Tora gently held out a blindfold.

"I think you should wear this."

Etana nodded again and Tora bound it over her eyes then slid out a small wineskin. She picked up another piece of cloth, tilted the liquid from the skin into the cloth and held it to Etana's face. The girl inhaled a few times and then slumped, unconscious, into Tora's lap.

Tora placed the chloroform to one side. Then she picked up the sterile surgical instrument packs she'd 'borrowed' from a 21st century hospital.

Slowly, she shaved away the velvety fur over the shoulders. Then she carefully opened the scapel and made the surgical incisions over the shoulders. The bones were neatly folded. Tora slowly stretched them out so they were out of the body proper. They were covered in the slightest of downy fluff, as damp as a newborn chick, coated in blood and fluid. Tora quickly opened the absorbable sutures and began stitching Etana's back up. It was tedious and fiddly but she was soon done. Then to gently clean the blood off, dab the stitches in alcohol and wrap bandages around Etana's back.

She slowly propped up Etana up on a rock and waited. Etana regained consciousness slowly. The bright eyes opened.

"Wha… What happened?"

"I drugged you. Be careful."

Etana moved slowly. Her hands slowly moved to her back. She touched the soft, downy fluff that Tora had cleaned and let dry in the sun. Her eyes widened as she stared at Tora.

"What…?"

"Congratulations, Etana. It appears you have inherited your father's gifts."

Her mouth half-opened in odd amazement. Tora smiled tenderly.

"Yes. Wings. Black eagle –_Ictinaetus malayensis_–, if I'm not very much mistaken."

Etana frowned.

"…Father… had wings as well?"

Tora nodded.

"Yes. He flew. Spectacularly, if the tales are to be believed."

Etana drew shapes in the dust at her feet.

"What… Are there any other…changes?"

Tora nodded.

"The muscles in your back and chest will change. They will become stronger –they will have to be able to allow you to fly. Already, you are lighter than a normal girl your age –your bones are pneumatised. Instead of being solid, they are filled with a series of supports. Your skeletal structure is slightly different as well. Your lung capacity will increase. The strength of your legs too. You will become better adapted for flight."

She smiled.

"Your eyesight is already sharpening. All in all, you are more efficient than an average person."

Etana slowly tried to get up –and then toppled right over backwards. Tora caught her.

"New centre of gravity. Get used to it."

Etana wobbled as Tora supported her. Slowly, they made their way down to the house. When Etana called out, Tora slowly faded away, knowing Achav would know what to do.

* * *

><p>"Why would a human know what to…?"<p>

"Brother."

"Oh. Yeah. She thinks of **everything**!"

"Not **everything**."

* * *

><p>The thirteen-year-old girl crouched behind the wall, hiding as she had been commanded to. The men were standing over Achav and Mara who were cowering in the main courtyard.<p>

"Where is the girl?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

The defiant reply was from Mara. Etana slid down lower, suddenly feeling very guilty for pouring sand into the flour cache that morning.

"Liar! You know **exactly** who I mean. The angel girl. Everyone knows she lives here."

Achav had been inspired by Mara's defiance.

"There is no 'angel girl'. There never was."

The sword was suddenly at his throat.

"You tell me where the girl is, or we take your head off."

Mara looked at the leader calmly.

"If you kill him, he wouldn't be able to tell you. That's if there actually **was** an 'angel girl'. Which I highly doubt."

"Who else lives here?"

Her guardians exchanged nervous glances.

"My niece, but she's out in the fields…"

"Call her."

"I can't. She'll be miles away. She's our shepherd…"

"Anyone else?"

"We can't afford to hire help. That's it."

"You have a choice. Tell us where the angel girl is or we take your niece. Our group could always do with a nice young woman to serve us."

Etana looked back and her eyes were wide as she stared at Tora who appeared as water haze in the air.

"Help me. Please…"

"I cannot. You know that. I cannot interfere with their lives."

"Please… They'll kill me."

Tora held out a hand with a single piece of cloth draped across it.

"They are wolves. Treat them as such."

Etana stared at the white cloth.

"I…I can't…"

"You said it yourself. They will kill you. Or worse…"

The threat was left unfinished. Neither needed to state what would happen if Etana declared herself. Slowly, tentatively, Etana reached out, her other hand going to the small worn pouch of smooth, river-shaped stones.

The man was now holding Mara up by her hair.

"We will disgrace your wife right in front of you. **Where is the angel girl**?"

And then a stone hit him right between the eyes, a true shot. The man fell to the ground and Mara collapsed as well. The bandits were on their guard now, looking for their mysterious assailant. Another stone flew out and hit the next man. Two dead. Sixteen left. Etana crouched low and ran along the wall to the next hiding place and managed to hit another three men. Her fourth stone failed to hit her target in the head. Instead it hit his arm and he screamed as the bone shattered.

"THERE!"

Etana stepped out, her sling in her hand and the next stone flew true. Her wings –still slightly downy and greyish- spread out threateningly. Her hair, coming loose from its plait, was shining in the hot sun. Her eyes no longer were frightened but **dangerous**. Etana Bat Sarah was dead. In her place stood the Shadow.

"Get away from my aunt and uncle! Or I'll kill you all! I'm not lying. I will kill you all!"

One of the men laughed. He was the next target. They hadn't realised that Etana's years of shepherding in the wilderness defending some frankly rather stupid mammals had left her with a good aim. The next stone wasn't thrown with the sling but with her arm. The force wasn't enough to kill or even stun but was enough to hurt.

Eleven to one odds weren't the best but Etana was too angry to care. She was judging the distance across the courtyard, towards the sword's hiding place. She could do it in eight steps if she had a clear run but she didn't. The men had swords, but they were made of bronze. Not the cold, smooth steel-stuff of the blade tucked away behind the amphorae of grain. Etana's hand went to the small bronze knife on her belt, used primarily for carving or cutting sheep loose. The men laughed but she knew what to do. The knife flew true and in the resulting confusion; as the man fell to the ground, blood staining his shirt in a growing circle; Etana shot across the courtyard. The hilt slid comfortably into her hand, the blade recognising its master. The quiet 'hisss' as it slid out of its sheath was threat enough. She didn't have to leap into the air with legs designed for hard landings and standing take-offs and behead the nearest man. But she did it anyway. By now the men were in confusion. A thirteen-year-old girl had just killed almost half of them; was nowhere **near** as defenceless as they had been led to believe; and had just produced a weapon unlike any they had seen before and was wielding it with apparent skill.

The sword had taken on a life of its own. It was all Etana could do to keep up with it. Strike, strike, strike, parry, strike. She was like the sword. Indestructible. Shining. Finally doing what she was **born** to do. And then she realised the last of the men were dead and she looked for her guardians. The blade –stained red- fell to the ground. The men's wits hadn't been shattered enough to stop them driving their swords into the two people without any method of defending themselves. Etana stepped forwards haltingly, so unlike the fluid movements of before.

"Uncle…? Aunt Mara…?"

She could tell it was too late. Far too late. They were holding each other. She could see their final emotions written on their faces. Achav was afraid. Whether for her or of her, she would never know. In comparison, Mara's face was proud. Pride and maybe a hint of jealously. Another halting step.

"Uncle…?"

Somehow her brain hadn't quite accepted what her eyes were seeing. She was waiting for the shout from the house, ordering her inside to clean the floors. The merry laugh. Her hand reached out tentatively. Warm. They still retained their body heat. The tactile contact seemed to snap her back to reality and she began to haltingly mutter the prayer for the dead. She finished and stood still for who knew how long. Then she heard steps and whipped around to see a man in a long dark cloak walking towards her. The blade was back in her hands as she held it in a guard position.

"Stay back! Stay back!"

He drew out his own sword, as foreign to her as hers had been to the bandits. And then, without warning, he struck. The white-red blade leapt up to parry and they were dancing back and forth across the courtyard. But she was so **tired**. Her arms could barely hold the blade up, the blood on the earth made moving difficult and her wings meant she couldn't squeeze into an easily defendable cranny like she once could. And then she slipped. The sword went flying out of her hand and the man stood over her. The blade was raised and Etana closed her eyes in desperation. She was going to die. She had killed –committed a terrible, **terrible** sin and for **nothing**. She was going to die, despite everything she had done.

"Azrael!"

No blade cut through her chest and Etana dared to crack an eyelid open. A woman, also dressed in black, her long hair rippling down her back. The man stepped back and a graceful hand was extended. Etana reached out in trepidation and was pulled up.

"I thank you. I am your servant."

The woman smiled an oddly ferocious smile.

"I was rather hoping you would be…"

* * *

><p>Death smiled softly.<p>

"Aren't you going to show Dragon begging on bended knee for me to take the girl as my servant?"

The masked woman looked over.

"You're still smug about that, aren't you? After all this time."

"What? It was one of the few times I got the ridiculous reptile to grovel."


	254. Lost Friends

**Memories**

Lost Friends

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Matt sat in the darkness –it was midday in Central Park but to him, there was always darkness. He closed his eyes –no difference. He supposed he could go to the mansion but he couldn't. Since joining the New Avengers, he'd got to know her better. They'd met before but this was…closer. When the others watched a film, she would sit and play card games with him using textured cards. Or they'd just talk quietly. He'd heard she'd been doing some work with Misty and Heroes for Hire. In fact, he'd run into her at one point, when she'd been leaping over buildings. Something to do with Kick being back on the streets. They'd had a quick conversation, she'd handed over a Heroes for Hire comm. and they'd parted ways.

That had been the last time he'd seen her as he wanted to remem- No. It had been the last time he'd ever seen her **alive**. That cruel smile and manic laugh was not, **could not** be Tora.

He remembered the best time he'd ever ran into her.

_It had been Christmas. He'd taken the children from the blind school out to the Catskills. The bus had crashed, the snow was falling thick and fast, and they were lost. They trudged –or in Matt's case, limped- through the snow. Lost and afraid, the kids were slowly freezing to death. Matt caught his leg on a branch and tumbled right over. He screamed in pain as his injured leg ripped further. And then he heard a voice –a wonderfully __**familiar**__ voice._

"_Matthew Murdock, what on __**earth**__ are you doing out here!?"_

_He recognised the heartbeat in an instant._

"_Tora…? Tora Logan?"_

_He felt her slightly calloused hands on his face._

"_I have a base camp not far from here. Fire, food, shelter. We were supposed to be taking the school kids camping –I came out ahead to set up –the weather meant we cancelled. I thought I might as well spend some time out in the wilderness. Come on. Kids! Over here! Who wants hot chocolate?!"_

_She managed to carry him and take the kids to her camp. She lead them into the small tent with the stove, made them all hot drinks, used her radio to call for help and gave them all a hot meal –venison he suspected she may have killed herself. When the rescue arrived, he remembered one of the girls quietly flinging her hands around Tora's waist and hugging. Tora had knelt down, placed her hands on the girl's face and smiled._

"_You will always be welcome with our people."_

_And her fingers had brushed an X on the girl's forehead before she rose and walked away into the woods, leaving the camp behind._

Matt slowly got up and walked away. She had been a good friend.

* * *

><p>"How well did the others cope?"<p>

"Who do you want to see?"

"Your choice."

* * *

><p>Steve sat on the end of his bed, head in his hands. Tora had left him a series of drawings of Etana she had obviously spent time on. But he couldn't take them. How could he? He had betrayed her. He hadn't trusted her and she had lost herself. How could he cope with that?<p>

And Etana… How could that have happened? How could Tora give her back to him so easily –give them a whole life together –and then take it away just as swiftly? He had scarcely believed he had her back –in his arms in this very room –and then she was gone again, leaving no more than a few soft words and the feeling of her mind in his.

He slumped back on his bed, staring up at the plain ceiling. He thought of the girl at the Jean Grey Institute, the girl with Etana's face. Was she scared? Did she miss Etana? Was she like her? Did she smile in the same way? Did she laugh the same? Was her voice the same? Did she talk the same? He had barely heard her talk but it had the same infliction as Etana. The accent was that same one –initially sounded like English and then you caught the inflictions of an older, more foreign sounding language.

And Tora… Logan was crumbling. He wanted to suggest Logan take some time off. Just…take his kids and go away for a few months. Get his life sorted out. It hurt to see the formerly close-knit family be split apart by anger and secrets.

Steve pulled himself up. He needed to go and work this out of his system.

* * *

><p>"More guilt. Is there <strong>anyone <strong>not feeling guilty about this?"

The masked woman shrugged.

"Not really. They had horrific hero complexes. It was kind of their thing."

* * *

><p><em>Her eyes changed. Silver orbs stared out of an unscarred face. And she lunged…<em>

_He automatically brought his hands up to defend himself. And his claws went straight through her chest. He screamed as her eyes returned to normal and she reached out to touch his face._

"_I…I'm sorry… Logan… Thank…you…"_

_And she was frowning and then something in her chest hummed violently against his claws before her torso was shattered by the blast. And she slumped into his arms._

He woke screaming. She had **known**! Damn her, she had **known**! She knew he'd raise his hands, knew the claws would pierce her chest! And she still did it anyway! She faked changing to scare him into killing her!

He suddenly realised that he had thrown his arm out to try and find her automatically. He turned to her side of the bed and stared. It was too cold there. She should be lying there, arms and legs splayed out as she stole two-thirds of the bed, shifting slightly. If her feet were cold, he'd suddenly get what felt like two ice buckets on his legs in the middle of the night. And if she was still shaken –if the events of the day had been particularly scarring –then she'd move over and they'd quietly lie face to face in the centre of the bed, trying to find ways to say that things were going to be alright. Most of the time, they were. The nightmares passed, the guilt slowly faded. But sometimes it didn't. Sometimes they still saw in stark relief the faces they couldn't save. The families that were broken. The damage they caused. This was one of those times.

But there was no Tora there to try and comfort him.

* * *

><p>"They always did go to pieces when they lost the other."<p>

"Is that a hint?"

"Come on! She almost destroyed the entire **universe** when he died!"

"Not the **entire** universe. Just… you know…an itsty-bitsy little bit."

"It was six star systems!"

"She fixed it, didn't she?!"

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>I'm back! Also, very happy as I got my results today and I've done as well as I hoped I do and better than I thought I did. So, I'm spreading the happin... Errr... I'm giving chapter presents! _


	255. Hall of Mirrors

**Memories**

Hall of Mirrors

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

_Tora slide out of the room and closed the door, heading into the kitchen to scrub her hands clean. Then she swerved into the bathroom as she heard Amanda and Stephen arguing with Kurt. She managed to clean the blood away and scalded the blood from the basin, then opened the door, planning to creep into the kitchen to back Kurt up. Instead she walked right into Jamie's chest. Glancing up she saw the look in his face and knew he knew. Sighing, she dragged him into the bathroom and locked the door._

"_Okay. Spit it out."_

"_Why do we have the Shadow dying in our spare room?"_

"_She's not dying."_

"_Okay, then close to death. Why?"_

"_She was attacked. She needed to come somewhere safe, where she could be cared for. And we've just been sucked back into that world again."_

"_Maman, I don't want you to have to do all this again."_

_She hugged him._

"_I won't. Jamie…"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_You remember when you were five, and we showed you the thing under the workbench in the garage?"_

"_Yeah…?"_

"_If we tell you to, I want you to take Amanda and Stephen there and activate it."_

"_But…"_

"_James, do you promise me you will do that?"_

"_But then…"_

"_James. Please."_

_He looked at her then nodded quietly._

"_I will."_

_She hugged up and smiled softly as her head pressed into his chest. Then she laughed softly._

"_Maman?"_

"_It's suddenly occurred to me that two monumentally short people managed to have a son who isn't a midget."_

"_MAMAN!"_

_She laughed softly, and suddenly felt better._

xXx

_Marie Logan hated her job. No, wait, rephrase that. On days like this, Marie Logan hated her job. The Director of SHIELD got up and clenched her notes that she wouldn't need in her hands._

"_Agent Verity died in the line of duty. She died doing what she'd always wanted to do –saving people. She was a good officer and a good solider."_

_Her voice almost cracked on the last word but she held up. And then a jeering voice from the back._

"_Is that all you can say? Do you honestly know your senior agents so little that's all you can say?"_

_She felt white hot anger rise up and before she could stop herself, she was talking swiftly and confidently._

"_What do you want to know? Her real name was Eloise Marguerite Circen; she was 32 years old; she was born at home in her family's farm in Provence; her favourite colours were green and white; she could never decide if her favourite ice-cream flavour was raspberry or caramel; she hated milk chocolate but would kill for dark; she used to have nightmares about the wardrobe in her bedroom with its carvings; she read trashy romance novels but hid them behind the dust covers of psychology textbooks to make it look like she was studying; she had an allergy to hazel nuts; she felt sad when it rained; she couldn't sleep without the small bear her sister won at a carnival when she was eight; she hated coffee but loved tea, which she took with three sugars and a dash of milk; she watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer religiously; had every single Lost episode on DVD; wanted to have two kids and was going to propose to her boyfriend on the 13th June this year. Oh, and before you accuse me of anything else, I think you should know that she was my little sister, so don't you dare say I didn't know her."_

_She froze and then slowly closed her eyes as she felt the tears she had held in for so long begin to prick her eyes._

"_She insisted on taking the mission that killed her. She was an Alpha-level telepath and telekinetic. She had two cats, Cleopatra and Octavia. She wanted to go and work as a therapist. She bought me a bag of my favourite coffee beans every year for my birthday since I was twelve. She went to bed with peppermint tea with two spoons of honey in it. She called me 'Rie because that's what she called me when she was two. One of my first –and best- memories is holding my baby sister in my arms for the first time. She was chief bridesmaid at my wedding. She used her powers to get the bouquet. When she laughed, she used to giggle so hard she got the hiccups. She scrunched up her nose when she was trying not to smile. She always glanced to the left when she was about to lie. She once broke her arm trying to climb into a tree after me. She saved my life three-hundred-and-twenty-one times. The last time was the one that killed her. So don't you dare suggest I don't feel anything! I feel this so much that I can't think about how I feel because right now, I have a job to do. I will grieve when I have brought her murderers to justice –or dragged them to Hell. Whichever one hurts them the most. I will make every single remaining day in their miserable little lives so terrible that they will do anything to escape."_

xXx

_The man lay on the stone floor of the make-shift chapel and screamed as he curled himself into a ball, as the alien rocked him back and forth, trying to help him get over the anger, the all-consuming hate of the friend who had left him. Second stage _Mrrlsta_. Hatred of the person who had left and torn you to shreds. He screamed again, hot tears burning his face as he shouted again and again, called her name, tried to bring her home to him, but Tora was trying to touch him, to soothe him as Xixy whispered a K'Meeri lullaby into the pointed ear. But she couldn't touch, couldn't speak, couldn't comfort. And that was the worst part of this shade-life. She couldn't comfort those she loved._

xXx

_First time they met, she'd just come off the podium, dressed in her French uniform and still buzzing off the adrenalin rush. And he was in the wings, his German jacket open to reveal his uniform. He smiled broadly._

"_Well done."_

_His English was thick, heavy accent obscuring most of his words. She smiled back shyly._

"_Well done as well_. L'or. C'est très magnifique_."_

_He laughed cheerful. Having exhausted their congratulations he winked then sauntered off and she blinked. She'd just met the new Olympic Men's Parallel Bars champion. And he'd congratulated her on the silver. Okay, France and the beam weren't normally considered together. Getting into the final had been as much a surprise to her as to the media. Podium? Beyond even her wildest dreams._

_The second time they met he grabbed her arm._

"_You have to come and see! The archers are at each other throats. The woman's champion has challenged the men's!"_

_There was the enjoyable twenty minutes of watching the Israeli Etana Halevi beat the American Barton with an amazing shot that hit the target from over a huge distance. He'd escorted her back to her part of the Village and bowed politely._

_The third time had been at the closing ceremony. He'd elbowed his way over to her and laughed, pointing out friends –the Canadian men's tae-kwon-do World Champion, who missed out of the podium after cracking his ribs, singing along with Eric Idle; the American pentathlon athlete Rogers dancing with his girlfriend, the archery World and Olympic Champion. Wagner had been doing world-level gymnastics since he was fifteen. Before then he hadn't had an iota of professional training. He had been a trapeze artist noticed when he entered an amateur contest for a joke. And then he took a photo when she started swearing when someone other than Freddie Mercury, Brian May, Roger Taylor or John Deacon started singing We Will Rock You. And then he leant over towards her._

"Kann ich dich küssen_?"_

_And she'd said "_Oui_" without knowing what he was saying. The photo made the front page of more than one paper._

* * *

><p>"How <strong>sweet<strong>…"

"Oh, stop it!"


	256. There is Only One

**Memories**

There is Only One

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Tora shifted the sack onto her shoulder, carried it to the roof and spread the flax over the flat stone to dry. She leant back and wiped her forehead. Two years. Two years living with Etana permanently, as Etana went through the vigorous training that encompassed being the Malach Hamavet. The use of Angel's Breath was evident in the scorched rocks a few miles away from the house. Etana wasn't very good at aiming to begin with. The recoil of the flames tended to throw her aim off. Also needing work was her handling of the blade Death had handed to her. While the khopesh was traditional, Etana was used to Muzai, so there was a whole new style to learn –and some things to unlearn.

Tora turned her head and frowned, shading her eyes. Then she froze and turned towards the hills.

"ETANA! Return!"

Something on the slopes leapt into the air. A black speck suddenly circled in the sky. The speck grew nearer until Etana tumbled out of the sky and landed heavily on the roof. Tora pursed her lips.

"Decent flight. Work on landings."

Etana picked herself up and dusted herself off. As Tora had promised, her back and chest were heavily muscled. Her legs too had gained definition, leaving her arms slightly lagging behind, making them look almost stick-like –although at the rate Etana was practising with both swords, it wouldn't be too long before they were in proportion with the rest of her body. It was lucky she was shooting upwards rapidly, because it would take a tall woman to be able to carry off Etana's natural muscle without looking heavy.

"We have guests, Etana."

Fear flashed across Etana's face. Tora held out a placating hand.

"Fear not. He knew your father well. In fact, he comes in an attempt to recruit him."

Etana blinked.

"Who comes?"

"The king."

Etana froze. She seemed torn between terror and anticipation. Tora pressed her hands to Etana's face.

"Go back to the hills. Wait. I shall bring him to you."

"Should I not go to him? He is the king…"

"No!"

It came out sharper than intended. Tora automatically checked her tone.

"You must let him come to you. Only then will he see you as you must first be seen."

"How?"

"Flying. You must soar like the eagle whose wings you wear. Understand?"

Etana nodded, leapt from the roof and soared. Tora hurried finished spreading out the flax then clattered down the stairs, going to where the wine was stored, the food. Hospitality was considered much more highly here than in the future –another reason she'd come to love this aged land.

She hurried out in time to catch the scout who had just arrived. She held out her hands peacefully and greeted him, before offering food and water, a place to rest. He shook his head, spoke of more men coming, that he would return and say that hospitality was offered and that she should prepare.

She bowed low, hating every second of having to grovel and scrape to a mere messenger then returned to the house to prepare. Then to wait. Wait for the horses. And then to leave and watch as the man leapt down and walked over to her.

"Where is Eitan? Or Achav?"

She bowed low.

"Both are gone, my king. But Eitan's daughter lives."

The blade was suddenly at her neck.

"How! How are they dead!?"

She looked up and she made sure her eyes showed no fear and she waited that extra half a beat that made it quite clear she was only answering because she wanted to.

"Eitan was killed by his enemies. I brought his daughter to Achav. He was killed two years ago by raiders who wanted Etana."

The king obviously didn't believe her.

"Who avenged Achav?"

"Etana."

"You do not appear to understand me. Who avenged Achav?"

"Etana did. She slew the men who killed him. She carved through them like a warrior born. Little surprise. Her mother was the most lethal assassin in the world."

She turned and began to walk away. The blade touched her neck again. She paused.

"Do not presume to threaten me. I have cared for Etana since her birth. Kill me and no power will save you from her wrath. And I myself am no mere woman. I guide her. I train her. I am so much more than I appear to be. I have passed the line between life and death. Time has no meaning to me. I can ignore fire and injury. I can change the world with a word. Do not cross me."

The blade slowly moved away and she looked over her shoulder.

"I will take you to her. But you must come alone."

She turned and walked away, ignoring his protests. She knew he would follow. The temptation would be too great. They walked in silence until they reached the place Tora had chosen as the meeting point. She raised her hands to the sky.

"Etana. Come."

It was no more than a whisper but something heard. Something soared into the air. Something tall and lithe, with wings so huge and black they almost blocked out the sun. And the wings folded and Etana plummeted, then landed in a crouch right in front of Tora. Tora had to admit she was impressed. Landings weren't Etana's strong point yet she had turned her inability to land into a truly impressive entrance.

"My Lady."

Tora placed her hands on Etana's shoulders.

"Rise, _cathera_." _Rise, child of mine._

The Old Tongue slid off Tora's lips with more familiarity than she was comfortable with. Etana looked up with an understanding she shouldn't have. A child who was also an angel. Tora turned to see the king's eyes widen in astonishment as the tall teenager unfurled herself as she stood and her silver hair caught the light. Tora smiled softly.

"This is Etana, daughter of Eitan. She is a child of mortal enemies. She is in training under me."

"Show me."

Tora frowned then turned to Etana.

"Are you willing to show him your ability?"

Etana bowed. Tora held out one hand to her side and gleaming ice formed around her hand, shaping a shining blade. Etana looked worried –Tora had never done that before. And then she saw the message in Tora's eyes. She slowly slid her hand to the belt holding her long dress up. And out of the folds, Muzai slid. They stood in silent salute. And then Tora darted forward, the blade slamming right into Etana, who had barely brought the sword up in time. They duelled, back and forth, Tora not holding back at all. The blunted sides of the ice hurt when it hit but did not cut. Etana hadn't managed to land a blow yet. And then Tora twisted and screamed as the white blade slid without any resistance from her own flesh right through her trunk. Etana screamed and Tora looked down at the red line across her waist.

"Oh well. I was thinking this body was getting a bit worn anyway. See you, _cathera_."

And her legs went one way. Her torso and head went the other.

* * *

><p>"Really? Did she just want to traumatise Etana?"<p>

"Didn't work. Etana was kind of used to her mentor dying, vanishing and coming back a few days later as if nothing had happened. Tora did explain she wasn't actually 'alive'. Instead it was more like she was a touchable hologram. Made of ice and water and memories."


	257. Trauma

**Memories**

Trauma

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

The cloaked dancer picked up the girl and as they span, tossed her into the air and caught her once more. The girl danced around the cloaked figure and they moved slowly. And then the girl leapt again and as the cloaked figure caught her, something threw the cloak aside.

The angel girl span once more, holding the other dancer up as her wings were spread wide. She slowly lowered her down, bowed to the king then his guest and hurried off, towards a woman half-standing in shadows.

"Master."

"Etana."

"What message have you come to impart on me?"

"Tonight you will need to make a choice. It will shape your life forever."

"What choice?"

Tora shook her head.

"Go. You are needed at the table."

Etana glanced back and then hurried away. Tora turned away and walked into the shadows, the body she wore dissipating around her. After all, she was just shadows. Shadows and lies…

* * *

><p>"Shadows and lies… No. She was light and truth."<p>

"No. Phoenix was light. Griffin was balance. By definition, Dragon was shadow."

"But Knowledge is Truth."

"No. Once again, you are mistaking one for another. Truth is not Knowledge."

* * *

><p>Etana was staring at her hands, as if they should be coated in blood. Her head darted up as she heard a sound. Her face relaxed as she saw the bird flutter into the room.<p>

"Really? Why did you have to take that shape?"

The bird slowly changed until a glossy-furred cat sat staring up at Etana.

"And it's freaky when you do that."

A soft purr.

"I… I killed him…"

Silver eyes stared up at Etana.

"He… He was going to… When I went there… He… He tried…"

No change in expression.

"Did I choose right?"

No answer. Etana grabbed the cat by the scruff of the neck and shook it roughly.

"ANSWER ME! DID I CHOOSE RIGHT?!"

The cat blinked then water hit the floor, splattering Etana's feet.

* * *

><p>"Was she <strong>trying<strong> to torture her!?"

"No. She was trying to create the Shadow."

* * *

><p>The woman twisted as the blades flashed. The bronze armour glinted as the King's Hand tore through the rebels like a storm through a grove of saplings. Silver hair sparkled as the Angel carved a bloody path through the fleeing men and women. And then they were all dead. She heard a scuffling noise and whipped around.<p>

The blade bounced off her chestplate and she was about to behead her opponent when she saw who it was. A child. A boy, aged twelve, his eyes filled with fear. And hiding behind him, a girl of eight.

_Empty eyes staring at her. Achav's face, forever held in fear. And Mara's eternal pride. A child who had lost her entire world._

The stained-red blades fell to the ground as Etana's knees hit the floor. She looked up at the boy.

"What am I?"

He looked so scared.

"Please… Can you… Will you ever be able to forgive me…? How can I atone for this…?"

"By defending them."

The three heads snapped around to see the figure walking in the air, gleaming silver as the light refracted through the water.

"These children are your blood price. You must defend them. You must be their parents, as you slew theirs. You must guard them. You must, if need be, die for them. They are your responsibility from this day forth."

Etana looked up.

"Have I failed you?"

"No. You may make me sad at times but you will **never** fail me."

Her hands cupped Etana's face.

"Return. And never kill like this again."

Etana stared up as Tora slowly faded out. And then she allowed herself the small luxury of tears.

* * *

><p>"The end of the beginning draws near. Soon, the King's Hand will be gone. Stripped away to create Justice's Shadow."<p>

* * *

><p>Laura screamed as she slammed her fists into the wall, watching blood smear along them and staring down at her apparently undamaged hands.<p>

"Laura?"

She turned to see Finesse.

"What do you want?"

"She loved you. It took me time to see it, but she really cared about you."

Laura turned away.

"If she loved me, why did she let herself die?"

"I think you already know."

Laura looked over her shoulder.

"I **know**. I just do not understand **why**."

"I don't understand either. But from what I have heard others saying…at times, it is better to die than live a monster. She made the choice she felt was the best. It was not the choice either of us would have made. But I believe she would have her own path of logic to that conclusion and maybe if we can realise what that was…"

"She didn't want to live anymore."

"Pardon?"

"She wanted to die when she traded her life for Ken's and the others. When Logan gave some of his in exchange for hers, she was so mad at him. She's wanted to die for a while now. You have to know her well but you could see it in the way she fought. There was no defence anymore. She just threw herself right in, without strategy, hoping to be hurt."

Finesse looked confused.

"Why do that?"

"Because she… It is complicated. I think only her and Xixswalstar truly understood its workings. But it was like… They tore something out of her when Hope came back and she has been trying to retrieve it ever since. Retrieve it or follow it."

Finesse looked round.

"Do you think we should be conducting this conversation in an open area?"

Laura looked around then shook her head.

"I know somewhere."

And the two girls who weren't quite sure if they were friends walked off together to logically think through the thoughts of a woman who was never quite sane.

* * *

><p>"Oh, just hug and make up already! I want to see the-"<p>

"Spoilers, Death, spoilers. Remember Phoenix was unusually lax when it came to keeping track of this period."

"I was **not**!"

* * *

><p>Logan pulled the chair up and straddled it, resting his arms of the back and leaning forward.<p>

"Hey."

The low buzz of scanners was his only reply.

"Meggan sent you flowers. Lots of people sent you get well cards. You want me to read some?"

No answer. He sighed.

"Yeah. What's the point? You'll read them yourself when you're better."

He closed his eyes.

"Because you will get better. Understand? You **are** going to pull through. You can't afford not to. I won't **let** you."

He sighed.

"I've lost so much. I'm not losing you as well. Not again. Not after all we've been through. Not now. Not after… Not after Tora died. There, I said it! Has anyone told you? You probably already know. You'd have felt it. In here."

Logan touched his chest.

"She was lost without you. It was like… It was like there was no one there. She wanted after you but couldn't follow."

He closed his eyes.

"When Xix told me about it, I was so scared. And… And for a moment, I wondered. What was going on between you? And then I felt like filth! You'd never do that. **She'd** never do that. How can I have doubted you? How could I have doubted you? Will you ever be able to forgive me for that?"

Only the steady hiss of the ventilator responded. Logan looked down at his feet.

"Stupid question. You'd tell me not to be so stupid, that you forgave me as soon as I thought it. But I'm not **like** you. I can't forgive. Not easily. Not quickly. Not painlessly. I have to wade through blood and gore and revenge to get to forgiveness. You're ten times better than I am or ever will be."

He allowed himself the tiniest of chuckles.

"But I haven't forgiven you for the bleeding piano yet! You and your jokes! Were you up there, laughing your little furry blue 'Chosen' butt off?"

He smiled sadly.

"Yeah. I've missed you. I… I've gotta go now. School to run and all that."

He got up and put the chair back. Just as he reached the door, he paused.

"Hey… Wake up soon, Elf."

Behind him, Kurt Wagner lay silent in his coma, having not woken from the stupor he entered the exact moment that Tora had died.

* * *

><p>"Then how did…?"<p>

"Ah, ah, ah. All shall be revealed."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Following the advice of a reviewer (whose review you can see yourself if you want to) I am planning to split up Memories into separate sections. The first section will remain at this story code, albeit slightly renamed. The others will need to be reached either through my profile or in the main X-Men feed. The changes won't happen right away, but I think will be implimented before the end of September. If you have any questions about this, drop me a PM or something. Also, there may be a few new AU chapters added in with the changes. I'll give the chapter numbers when I change everything._

_So, until then, hope you keep enjoying Memories, soon to be a 7-part-tale._


	258. Fond Parting

**Memories**

Fond Partings

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Logan looked up from his position sitting at the end of his bed. Curt stood in the doorway, glaring at him. Logan shook his head.

"We've had this argument already. You're going."

Curt looked ready to scream.

"You're pushing me away, Dad! Maman dies and you're getting rid of me! Do you care so little-?"

Logan got up and his face was like thunder.

"It's exactly **because** I care that I'm sending you away! You're bitter! You have to accept she died! You can't lash out at the world! It doesn't fix **anything**!"

"And what do you know about that!?"

Logan snarled.

"You think **I** haven't made mistakes!? You think I haven't lashed out! Curt, I've done it so many times before and it doesn't make anything better! She's gone! But you can't accept that! You strike out without thinking! No, Curt! You need out! Out of this place! It'll destroy you otherwise."

Curt snarled.

"Why, Dad! Do you really hate me that much!?"

Logan moved forward and grasped Curt's arm.

"Look… Here isn't healthy. There's too many memories –good and bad. We need to get away. **You** most of all. You're not moving on. And yes, it hurts –it will **always** hurt. But you… Curt, you can't let that destroy you. She would hate it to see you like this. So going on this will give you time to get away from those you blame –look, I know you blame us. I blame us as well. But you have to… Look, you need a way to get away from all this."

Curt didn't look convinced.

"So what are **you** doing?"

Logan shrugged.

"I'm going up north. The FF have agreed to look after Jamie –he wants to stay there. Eva will come with me."

"Where are you planning to go?"

Logan made a non-commital grunt.

"I was thinking go back home. See the place I grew up in."

Curt frowned.

"Wasn't that a big mansion?"

Logan sighed.

"Yeah. But the place I felt safest was in the little attic room my governess lived in. She was always ready to listen –sometimes I felt she was more like my mother than my actual mother was."

Curt frowned.

"Really?"

Logan held up a hand.

"I found some old photos –looked through archives. I forgot…Papa was very into modern inventions. Well, I **say** modern."

An hour later, and the two were sitting together quietly, looking at printouts of very old photos together, quietly trying to mend the rift that had formed between them. Then Logan grinned.

"There. That's me, Rose and Miss Douglas."

The photo showed a woman sitting, her hair swept up in a neat coiffure, her eyes glinting with a certain amount of mischief; with a tall girl and a young boy standing either side of her. Curt smiled sadly.

"She looks a bit like Maman."

Logan squinted and suddenly smiled sadly.

"Yes. She does, doesn't she? She was very unorthodox, which is why Papa hired her. Her father was a Scottish immigrant, her mother was from Quebec. She was engaged to a teacher who lived out East –she took up the post to raise enough money to get married. He died –TB I think. She just sort of…stayed."

He smiled softly.

"When Rose tried to take me back and my grandfather –the old buzzard –basically told us to leave and never come back, she pulled us aside and gave us a lot more than I think she could spare –food, clothes, blankets. She also told Rose something I think that shocked her a lot."

Curt looked over.

"What?"

Logan shrugged.

"I don't know. And without Rose's diary, I'll never know."

"Rose's diary?"

Logan sighed.

"I went back for it. It was gone. I never found it. I reckon Malone burnt it."

Curt slowly got up and smiled weakly.

"Dad… Can I make a deal?"

"What?"

"I go on this trip. Then you've gotta take me to see your old home –after all, I inherit it, don't I?"

Logan laughed and cuffed Curt around the head slightly.

"Oh, shut up!"

They looked at each other for a long moment, understanding –possibly more than they had ever had before- blossoming and then the curtain of sorrow slide over them once more and Curt turned to go.

"I… I need to get to class…"

"Wait."

Curt turned and Logan pressed the photo of him, Rose and Miss Douglas into his hand.

"Keep it."

And Curt smiled.

* * *

><p>"How <strong>stupid<strong> did Logan feel later, when he found out that…"

"No, no, Death, dear. Spoilers."

* * *

><p>Etana walked into her room and then collapsed to the floor in a mixture of grief and relief. She stood up, decision made. A knife slid out of her sleeve and then silver hair littered the floor, hair cut into a short bob and then the soft white dress was torn into long strips. The strips were tied tightly around her chest and then she opened a chest to reveal a set of male clothing and armour. She dressed swiftly then closed her eyes and smashed a fist into the wall, shattering the plaster, pulling out a highly polish lacquered box, opening it, pulling out the slender katana and slightly unsheathing it, smiled at the gleaming pearly white metal and slammed the blade back into the sheath before buckling it onto her belt. A heavy wool cloak covered her unearthly face and wings. Then she turned and froze. The cat sat in the window, soft grey fur glinting in the sunlight. Etana's face took a pleading aspect.<p>

"I…I have to go. This is not my home anymore… Please…"

She touched her face.

"My blood debt is paid. They are old, have children and grandchildren of their own. And I have not aged. Why? Why am I frozen? Is this my curse? Is this what I have to pay? Please!"

The amber eyes continued staring unblinkingly.

"Am I doing the right thing?"

At that, the cat turned and stared out over the city below. Etana walked over.

"What? What do you see?"

And the paw pointed, beyond the city, beyond the plains, in the direction of the sea.

"I…I have to leave?"

The eyes that looked up at her offered no clue.

"You will make me leave my homeland? Forever?"

The cat sat in silence and as Etana watched, slowly reached out and placed one paw on her mouth.

"Mast…"

_Silence. This is my blessing. May you long walk the Earth; caring for those who need cared for, helping those who need help, defending those with no voice. Your path will not be easy, nor will it be tender on you. You will see many atrocities and you will be forced to commit more than one in your time. But you will always find solace in your purpose._

"But what **is** my purpose?"

_That is for you to decide. Now, that was my blessing. Here is my gift._

And something touched Etana, marked her, gave her a defence she would not know of until it was her time of need.

_Goodbye, my child. We will not meet again for many years._

"WAIT!"

But the cat leapt away daintily. She had new goals to fulfil. New promises to keep. And maybe then she could finally die.

* * *

><p>"Well, we all know how well <strong>that<strong> goal turned out!"

"Oh, shut up!"


	259. Black Water

**Memories**

Black Water

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She jerked awake on the train. This was a bit of a jump. She looked down and did a few quick guesses based on her clothes.

_Late 1800s? Why?_

_You are Miss Marie Douglas, a governess from Montreal who has been hired by a rich and influential family to teach their only son, a young boy of five. He is sickly and cannot be sent to boarding school because of that._

_Why does this matter?_

_Because the boy's name is James Howlett._

Tora stiffened.

_You manipulative piece of filth!_

_It is required._

_It bloody well isn't!_

_You cannot back out. After all, you swore you would complete my tasks. This is one of them._

Tora snarled and threw up barriers, forcing Dragon away then folded her arms and glared out the window. Could the stupid reptile do any colour scheme other than blue, silver and grey? She was getting bored of the same old shades.

And then she looked out of the window, across the wilds of Canada, something she couldn't quite give a name to leaping in her chest.

* * *

><p>Phoenix closed her eyes.<p>

"That's just **cruel**."

The masked woman glanced over.

"You think so? Imagine how she felt, every single day for those years."

* * *

><p>Logan and Curt stood in silence at the docks. Curt was staring up at the sleek-looking ship.<p>

"Isn't this the Thetis?"

Logan nodded.

Curt picked up his bags and promptly turned around. Logan caught his arm. Curt glared.

"You aren't sending me on the boat that rich folk send their wayward kids on as punishment! I couldn't **stand **that! They'll all be stuck-up rich kids who've been send there because they threw a wild party and wrecked the house; or got caught doing soft drugs; or drunk themselves into a stupor; or **something**!"

Logan sighed.

"Look… I didn't think of this place. Stark suggested it to me. And it will work out if you give it the chance."

Curt folded his arms.

"They don't allow any form of communication with the outside world. How am I supposed to stay calm when I don't know whether you've been **killed** or something while I'm stuck in the middle of the Pacific?"

Logan folded his arms.

"Ray will keep you updated telepathically."

"And what about Jubes? She's moving back to Westchester and I **was** hoping to get to spend some time with her before getting shoved off."

"This is the last sailing this year. It was now or never."

Curt slumped.

"I'm just **worried**. Jubes has been under the weather ever since Maman died. I…I think her protection is failing."

Logan stiffened and cursed.

"She's arriving at midday! Curt, I need to get Hank on it immediately!"

Curt shook his head.

"She'll be safe for a while. I gave her a necklace for her birthday. It was one of those vampire amulets. She'll be safe from the sun unless she's taken it off."

"Will she?"

"She told me she slept with it, so I hope…"

Logan paused then touched Curt's shoulder.

"I… I'll miss you."

Curt shrugged.

"I'll see you."

He prepared to tramp onto the gangway with the air of a man walking to the gallows when Logan impulsively hugged him. They broke apart, both looking very awkward. Curt was blushing slightly.

"Dad…"

"Yeah?"

"Tell… Tell Jamie and Evie I love them. Tell Evie to ignore what anyone tells her about what little girls should or should not do or say and tell Jamie that he shouldn't turn into **too** big a swot while I'm away. And Dad… I… Ah, it doesn't matter."

And he slowly walked away, leaving Logan feeling as if he should have said something. He then glanced to both sides and shuddered. Other families were arriving and they all looked the same. Distant and remote parents; grumpy and rebellious kids. Logan considered and then called Curt back. The look on his son's face was slightly nervous and also a little hopeful. Logan clasped Curt's hand and smiled warmly for the first time in ages.

"Look… If they're really all stuck-up pompous… You know… Get in touch and we'll pull you out."

Curt grinned and this time he was the one to give his dad a quick one-armed hug.

"And because Maman isn't here to tell you, I'll do this myself. No drinking, no staying out late, restart smoking and you're dead, Evie's bedtime is six thirty on a weekday and quarter-to-eight at weekends. You aren't to let her stay up late, no matter what she says. She can watch PGs, but if you let her watch anything higher, I'll have your guts for breakfast… And what's the last thing she always said…?"

Their eyes met and then in perfect unison they chanted,

"And if something goes wrong, for Pete's sake, **call me**!"

They grinned with fond remembrance at the worried mother lecture and then Logan's eyes veiled over.

"You stay safe, okay? I can't come swimming after you."

"Fine. But don't set Namor or an Atlantian after me. I'll be fine."

His mismatched eyes dropped.

"And Dad… Take care, okay?"

And then he was gone, walking away, unaware of the looks of jealousy on the faces of the kids behind him. While his clothes weren't designer, being a basic orange-and-black t-shirt and tan shorts; his bags were small and lightly packed and he gave off an air of scruffiness; he had something none of them had.

He had a parent who cared.

* * *

><p>"He seems almost… stable."<p>

"Grief hid his insanity. While he was grieving for his mother, he became introverted and pensive. The symbiote grieved with him."

* * *

><p>The man had a broad smile on his face as he walked towards her and something in Tora immediately liked him.<p>

"You must be Miss Douglas."

She dipped her head in greeting.

"Hello, Mr Howlett."

"I knew your father. A good man. Good man."

She smiled but something took a slightly fixed quality.

_What on earth do you mean by that?_

_I created this body in vitro. It was merely a matter of when you needed to use it._

_You forced out a sentient being!_

_No. I expended minimum energy creating a facsimile mind, a replica of your personality. Nothing much._

_So. Parents._

_Father a Scottish merchant's son. Mother from a French immigrant. Father disowned for marrying mother. Mother died in childbirth, Father left to try and make money. Returned yearly to see you while you stayed at your maternal grandparents. He was killed at sea when you were nine, at which point his parents relented and took you in. There were…difficulties._

"Miss Douglas, are you well?"

She shook her head swiftly.

"I apologise. I was lost in thought."

"You look like your mother. I met her once. Except your eyes. Your father had those eyes."

She allowed herself a small smile as suddenly memories rushed into her mind.

"I remember him very well. He was a good father."

"And now I suppose I should introduce you to your student?"

"Yes. James. Is there…?"

"He is very sickly. He must not be allowed to exert himself too much or spend to long outside. After John… If anything were to happen to him…"

Tora remembered that from Logan. A dead brother who still haunted the house on the hill. A mad mother. And a caring father separated from him by the culture of the time.

"May I be introduced to him?"

"I'll call him. James!"

The boy walked into the room and Tora couldn't contain the sudden intake of breath. The boy looking at her could almost be Jamie. He could almost be her son! Then she saw his eyes and relaxed a little. They were the exact same piercing blue as Logan's but they weren't his eyes. Not yet, at any rate.

"Hello, James. My name is Miss Douglas."

He looked at her with polite interest.

"Hello, Miss Douglas."

Except his lisp meant he pronounced her name 'Douglath'. It was all she could do to prevent herself giggling. He looked so earnest so she decided to play along.

"I was just wondering if some chivalrous soul would show me the house."

He grinned suddenly, his whole face lighting up as he slid his small hand into hers.

"I'll show you! I know **ewerywhere** in the house!"

She glanced over to John Howlett who had the slightest of smiles on his face. And then she let the boy who would one day be her husband tug her out of the room with childish excitement.

* * *

><p>Phoenix cooed.<p>

"He was so **cute**!"

The masked woman snorted.

"I doubt you would call Logan that to his face."

"Well…no, but… He's so **cute**!"

* * *

><p>Logan stopped outside the room. He looked at the big A3 sign on the door, big sloppy letters declearing "CURT'S ROOM! TRESPASSERS WILL BE WEBBED, THEN STABBED THEN SHOT." And then added underneath.<p>

"Survivors will be stabbed again. And again. And again. And again…"

That went on for the rest of the sheet of paper. Logan rested his hand on the door and paused. Maybe he shouldn't. But fear made him open the door.

The room was hung with thick black webs. Instead of a bed, a hammock of webbing hung by the window. Pictures and posters were stuck on the walls slapdash, held in place by more webbing. The lightshade was thick with it, so when Logan flicked the switch, the light that filtered through was heavily shaded and threw curious shadows across the walls and webs. Logan turned, looking for something, **anything** that might suggest that Curt had been doing something stupid. There didn't seem to be anything. And then, as he turned, his foot caught on a little piece of glass. Looking down, he saw shards across the floor. Then he saw the photo frame that had been flung against the wall. It hung in the webbing, twisted out of shape.

When he turned it over, he felt his heart skip a beat. The photo of Tora and Curt taken shortly after they had found him again, both grinning broadly. Yet scrawled in angry red letters, right across Curt's own face, was the word 'FILTH'.

Logan carefully placed the photo back and slowly left the room, locking the door behind him. Then he quietly considered the intelligence of quickly transferring Curt back to Westchester.

* * *

><p>"He really felt too much guilt about this."<p>

The masked woman shrugged.

"The last thing he ever said to his mother was he hated her. How do you think he reacted to that?"


	260. The Girl With Brown Eyes

**Memories**

The Girl with Brown Eyes

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

The alarms sounded, blaring through the city. The preshocks were already shaking the delicate, ancient streets. In a graceful, traditional family mansion in the rich side of town, the girl ran desperate through the rooms, trying to find her family. Her father grabbed her arms and squeezed, a little too tightly so she yelped. His eyes were steely, masking his fear. But that didn't help, because it just made her more afraid.

"Akira, you must come! The quake is strong!"

His barked instructions only made her more afraid and then suddenly she started shaking, her whole body stiffened and she stumbled. Her father simply picked her up and began to carry her to the garage, to get her to the relative safety of inland.

And then she stopped shaking. And when she opened her big brown eyes, they were alight. She slowly pulled herself out of her father's arms and began to walk towards the door, to the shaking streets.

"Akira!"

For the first time in her life, she ignored him. She stood there in the street, totally still, her hands clasped in fists, arms rigid by her side. And then she raised her arms. She looked as if she was reaching out for something her father; standing in the doorframe, angrily screaming her name; couldn't see. And then she was immersed in a rainbow, light flaring from her clenched hands which opened, lightshow blazing and the tremors stopped. She turned to face him and he withdrew from the unearthly face that stared back at him, a girl he no longer recognised. A powerful, dangerous child who smiled weakly.

"Did I do it, Father?"

And she slumped forward, would have crashed face first into the tarmac if her father hadn't leapt forward in time to catch his daughter. His mutant daughter.

* * *

><p>"Is that… No <strong>way<strong>!"

"The most powerful non-psionic mutant ever born? Or one of the most intelligent humans of her generation?"

* * *

><p>"Logan, we need you."<p>

"What's wrong?"

"We've just had a phonecall from Kyoto."

Logan slowly got up, wondering who on earth he knew was in Kyoto. He managed to make it to Hank's office without giving into the temptation to look at Tora's photo, still up in its position on the staff identification wall.

"Who is it?"

"I'm not too sure. His English isn't the best."

Logan took the phone. Introduced himself in Japanese. And then listened with increasing amazement to the story he was being told. Finally he put the phone down.

"Get the Blackbird ready. **NOW**!"

Hank frowned.

"Why?"

"There was going to be an earthquake. A big one. And a ten-year-old girl just stopped it."

Hank swore and hit the alert button.

* * *

><p>Silence reigned. Then Phoenix slowly let out the breath she had been holding in the form of a long whistle.<p>

"Well, that's us told."

* * *

><p>The girl was still in her school uniform, quivering as she sat under the shock blanket, staring up at them. Logan found her large brown eyes and her fixed gaze quite disconcerting.<p>

"Hello, Akira. My name is Logan."

She blinked. Shivered again. She still hadn't answered any of his questions. Hadn't even spoken yet. But then she was an odd child. Especially her name. Strictly speaking, it was unisex but it was a much more common boy's name than a girl's. Then a quiet little voice spoke.

"What am I, Logan-san?"

He smiled slightly.

"We think you're a mutant with electromagnetic powers. Do you know what that means?"

She slowly nodded.

"I am not stupid, Logan-san. I do know what the electromagnetic spectrum is. I know how photoelectrons can cause an electric current, which causes a magnetic field."

Logan glanced up at Hank, who was listening in and quickly fired off her response in English. Hank nodded.

"She's a genius, Logan. Sitting Physics and Maths courses much too advanced for her age."

Logan looked back.

"Your father wants you to come to our school. For people like you and me. People with gifts."

Akira hunched up.

"I like school. I like learning new things."

Logan translated to Hank, who leant forward.

"Tell her we sometimes get Professor Richards in to lecture."

"But we don't."

"We'll have to, if she's at the school."

Logan repeated Hank's offer and Akira's whole face changed. It light up, something in her eyes sparkling with excitement.

"Dr Richards! **The** Dr Richards?"

"Reed Richards. Mr Fantastic. Stretch. Whatever you want to call him. My son calls him Uncle Reed. Or Stupid, depending on whether he's with Valeria or not. I think you'd like Jamie and Valeria."

Akira looked torn.

"I cannot leave my family, Logan-san…"

"Your father thinks it is for the best that you come to the school. We can teach you to control your gifts."

She blinked and he was suddenly aware that for all her intelligence, she was just a little girl who was scared and afraid. Just like another little girl he knew…

"How about this, Akira? I'll call another student to come and talk to you. She's a bit older than you, but I think you'll find that for her, going to the school was an even bigger step."

Akira slowly nodded. Logan got up and looked at Hank.

"Call Pixie. Tell her I want Zillah here in ten minutes.

* * *

><p>"Why on <strong>earth<strong> would you let Zillah talk to Akira? They were totally different!"

"No… Not totally."

* * *

><p>The sight of the black-winged, black-furred, silver-haired teenager seemed to frighten Akira even more. At least until Zillah spoke, softly, almost tenderly.<p>

"I know how you feel. I felt just the same, when Logan asked me to leave. I'd grown up alone. No one except my mother. And suddenly he wanted me to go out into the big wide world. I didn't feel ready. I was scared and alone and I suddenly had to come to terms with the fact my mother was dead. You feel like you've jumped into the sea for a swim but you didn't realise how deep it was or how strong the current is. You feel like you're being swept away, and you're trying to grab hold of the old, the familiar, the comfortable. Anything to prevent you drowning."

Akira looked up and meekly nodded. Zillah sat down next to her.

"And at least you know your family are still safe here and you can come and visit them any time. I just had my mother. You know, she left when I was ten and she never came back. I only just found out that she had died. But I grew up thinking the one person who mattered most to me had just abandoned me."

Akira blinked.

"Why did she die?"

"She was very ill. And so she chose to die to stop anyone else dying from that illness."

Zillah's voice cracked. Akira rested a hand on her arm.

"What was she called?"

Zillah turned her silver eyes to Akira's brown ones.

"Etana. Her name was Etana. That's… That's why my name is Zillah Bat Etana. Zillah…Daughter of…Etana…"

And suddenly she was crying, burying her face in her hands as she gulped for air and Akira quietly put one arm around Zillah. They sat like that for almost half an hour.

* * *

><p>"I see what you mean now. They were both broken, in ways too deep to comprehend."<p> 


	261. Hidden Truth

**Memories**

Hidden Truths

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Tora –must remember she was Marie here– lay back on her bed and tried to relax. Three weeks here and already it was getting to her. James was so sweet and innocent, a far cry from gruff, ever-reliable Logan. Mr Howlett was kind and as attentive as he could be and Tora saw where Logan had learnt to be so gentle with the kids. She also saw where his temper had come from.

While Logan stated that he still considered John Howlett his father, Tora could see Thomas Logan in him every day. The temper that was always threatening to spill over. The anger at life which had dealt him harsh cards. But while Logan may have inherited his biological father's temper, he had learnt to control it whilst Thomas Logan never even tried, preferring to take it out on his other son. Tora pitied Dog, but only to a certain extent. She knew what Dog would later do to her husband but she couldn't lash out at the boy because of things that had not yet happened.

A soft knock on the door startled her out of her reverie.

"Yes?"

"Miss Douglas?"

James, peeking round the door.

"What's wrong, _petit_?"

"I can't sleep."

She got up and followed him to his room. The opulence was a far cry from the simple, clutter-free room he preferred now –would prefer- which she knew took a lot from Japanese culture. But James had not heard of Japan, or if he had, it had not registered in his mind. To him, Alberta was all there was in the world. That and Montreal. He had listened in amazement to the tales she told him of her home city, the guilt from lying –even in such a convoluted way- eating into her.

He bounced up on the bed and looked up at her plaintively.

"Can you read to me, Miss Douglas?"

She smiled slightly.

"What do you want me to read?"

He considered for a long time then smiled that innocent grin, which still tore into her because Jamie smiled like that, even if Logan's smile now was tinged with a world-weariness she hoped her son would never learn.

"Surprise me!"

She picked out Treasure Island, a book that appeared unread. She thought of how Eva loved that book, how Logan loved reading it to her, acting out the voices and hopping around, pretending to be Long John Silver to please his daughter. She regretted there was no Tolkien yet. Logan loved the Hobbit almost as much as Eva did and he was looking forward to reading Lord of the Rings to her when she was a bit older. He had already been planning a three movie marathon with her, as soon as she was old enough.

She read, trying to copy the tone and infliction Logan had used to enthral Eva in the tale of pirates, castaways and buried treasure.

"_Part One –The Old Buccaneer_-"

"What's a buccaneer?"

"A swashbuckler, an adventurer…"

She leant forward.

"A pirate!"

James' face lit up with glee.

"Go on! Go on!"

"_Chapter One. The Old Sea-Dog at the Admiral Benbow. Squire Trelawney, Dr Livesy, and the rest of these gentlemen having asked me to write down the whole particulars about Treasure Island…_"

She read until the end of chapter three and the Sea Captain's death. James' big blue eyes stared up at her, pleading for him to go on. She laughed softly.

"And I'll read more tomorrow night."

That seemed to placate him and she put the book away before tucking him in.

"I still can't sleep."

"Maybe this will help."

And blessing that Dragon had thought it prudent for this body to take singing lessons, so the muscle memory and tone awareness meant Tora could actually **sing** for the first time in her life, she began the song that Logan loved more than all others, although he'd never admit it.

"_Blow the wind, blow;  
>Swift and low;<br>Blow the wind o'er the ocean.  
>Breakers rolling to the coastline;<br>Bringing ships to harbour;  
>Gulls against the morning sunlight;<br>Flying off to freedom!_"

She sang softly, like Logan did as he rocked his son to sleep, letting love make up for what he lacked in ability. And as she quietly got up and left, she thought she heard him mutter, "I wuv you, Miss Douglas."

And somehow, that made her impossible situation seem just a little better.

* * *

><p>"I forgot Logan's love of RL Stevenson, hidden as it was."<p>

"Oh, he actually had quite a passion for classic fiction. Why do you think he preferred bedtime story duty?"

* * *

><p>Rose stood in the hallway in stunned silence. The place was huge! And then a woman dressed in blue –with her red hair pulled back in what was obviously supposed to be a severe bun, but the effect was slightly counteracted by the fact strands of hair were slipping out everywhere– came running down the stairs. She flashed a brilliant smile.<p>

"Ah, Mrs Hopkins. Have I missed Mister Kenneth by much? I have a letter I forgot to give him earlier."

"He's just gone, Miss Douglas."

"Thank you, Mrs Hopkins. And you must be Rose O'Hara. I'll introduce myself later, must dash."

And to Rose's amazement, horror and no little envy, the woman hitched up her skirts past her ankles and ran off down the drive, more and more hair spilling out behind her.

"Who is that, Mrs Hopkins?"

"Miss Douglas, Master James' governess. You steer clear of her, my girl. She has funny ideas."

"Mrs Hopkins…?"

"All for women having the right to vote and such like. It's unnatural. It'll be the French blood in her."

The tight line of the housekeeper's mouth told Rose that Miss Douglas was Not Approved Of. Yet she so wanted to meet this smiling woman who went out running after a dog trap with no hat on and her hair slipping down and her skirts pulled up over her ankles.

Later, as she was sitting nervously in the nursery, the door opened and Miss Douglas came in. The brilliant smile seemed to light up her whole face.

"I'm sorry about earlier, Rose, but Jim does worry if his letter is a day late. My name is Miss Douglas."

Rose stared up at Miss Douglas in wide-eyed amazement. To her surprise, Miss Douglas coloured.

"Jim's the man I'm to marry. He's started teaching in a school out East after his time in the Army finished."

"Oh."

Miss Douglas smiled slightly.

"Is something wrong, Rose?"

Rose mumbled something under her breath but Miss Douglas apparently had excellent hearing.

"It was the hat, wasn't it?"

Rose nodded slightly. To her amazement, Miss Douglas laughed, not at all ashamed of her earlier behaviour.

"Yes, I'm afraid I quite **scandalised** Mrs Hopkins! She doesn't approve of me at all."

"She… She said you wanted women to be able to vote…"

"Oh, that. Well, I'm afraid I rather upset her when we were having a conversation together. She was being very subservient to men and I felt I had to make the point that for most of history, men have ruled and look how many wars we've had. She took umbrage and we've been at odds ever since."

Rose's mouth was open. Miss Douglas smiled sadly and sat down next to her.

"You'll soon learn that our positions are lonely ones, Rose. As a governess in my case and a companion in yours, we are not **servants**. But you must always remember we are employees. We are not friends of the family and we are not on the same level as them. We are trapped in limbo between stations and you will soon learn what it feels like. Maybe it will be different for you. James will treat you as a friend, and maybe that will be all you need."

"Miss Douglas…?"

"Yes?"

"Forget I said anything. It would have been awfully intrusive…"

"Ask away, my girl. If the question is too personal, I simply shan't answer it."

"Are… Are you happy here?"

Miss Douglas' face slid through a multitude of emotions, so fast that Rose was unable to catch them all, and then her face was unreadable.

"Yes, I am happy here, but I miss my family horrifically."

Rose sniffed softly.

"I… I miss my parents…"

And Miss Douglas' arm was around her.

"I miss mine as well, Rose. I miss mine as well."

* * *

><p>"Considering the tension between Tora and her mother, that tells how much she missed home."<p>

"She did always get on with her father, though."

* * *

><p>Tora's face was torn with worry as she swooped in to wrap James in a blanket and carry him up to the house, her whole body radiating worry. She felt Dog and Rose hurry beside her but all she could think about was the small body in her arms, so small and frail and as afraid of water as Logan was. He always got antsy near deep water, because this incident haunted him. Water was not to be trusted unless it was in a glass; that was his view.<p>

And as she sent Rose to get Mrs Hopkins and Mr Howlett, she glanced over at Dog and said the words she thought she'd never have to speak.

"Thank you, Dog."

What followed was a rush of fires and fresh blankets and doctors. And when Mr Howlett Senior turned on Rose, Tora stepped in.

"I don't believe it should be Miss O'Hara you are attacking, Mr Howlett. It was I who should have kept a closer eye on the boys."

She listened through the rant, the accusations, the insistations that she was fired without references and Mr Howlett Junior lashing back, that Miss Douglas had done wonders for James' education and that this one incident was not representative of her ability. And Tora walked off when she was dismissed from the room, thinking that Logan had been right. His grandfather really had been an awful old buzzard.

* * *

><p>"Ouch. And that, from Tora, who always did her best not to think the worst of people…"<p>

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Sorry for the delays. It's just this academic year will be a very busy one for me. I'm taking advanced courses in Physics, Chemistry and Maths; am on three committees and being a complete idiot, agreed to take part in a production of _A Midsummer Night's Dream_ to perform in October, when I should be firstly revising for October exams and secondly, preparing for (hopeful) interviews in December._

_Hope you can understand this. But updates will be few and far between as I try to keep up with everything. S-99_


	262. Power to Kill

**Memories**

Power to Kill

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

The girl was leaning back in the hammock, moaning.

"I can't **believe** my dad sent me here! It's so **boring**."

The boy next to her flung down his mop and flopped down next to her.

"I don't get why he sent me! It's not like I **knew** half the neighbourhood was going to crash the party!"

The quiet boy who never really spoke looked up.

"Oh, poor you. Your dad sent you here as punishment for throwing a party that wrecked your house. Lucky you."

They looked at him.

"Go on then. Why are you here?"

He shrugged.

"My half-sister was kidnapped and almost murdered by a crazed psychopath. My baby brother's basically at boarding school for the super smart. My girlfriend will die without regular blood transfusions. And three weeks ago, my mom died. I don't even know how it happened. All I know is one morning she's shouting at me to get out of bed and get ready for school. The next I get Dad coming in all serious and he tells me Maman died and I don't have to go to school for a while. My dad's best friend is in a coma and we don't know when he'll wake up. The guy who's like a second father to me has cleared off and as far as we know, he's not coming back. Laura –my half-sister- has cleared off to a school on the other side of the country. Eva, my other sister, won't do anything except sit quietly in the library and ask when Maman's coming back. My dad decided I needed to get away from home. So he sent me here. He thinks home is 'unhealthy'. He's right in a way. All my stuff has memories of Maman. She wasn't supposed to die… She was meant to live forever…"

He curled back into his nook.

"The last thing I ever said to her was I wished she was dead. And all she said in return was 'I love you.' I think she knew that would be the last time she'd see me so she wanted it to be a good memory. It didn't work. All it did was made me feel worse."

They sat in silence for a long time. Then the girl spoke.

"I… I'm sorry about your mom. Was she ill?"

"No… Well, not in the way the medics called ill. I mean, we had a scare when Laura was taken… Maman… She… They all thought she was dead… She had just got **better**…"

"Was it a relapse?"

Curt paused.

"In a way. But not to what happened before."

And the boy spoke softly.

"What's wrong with your girlfriend?"

"She's got… a blood condition. She needs fresh blood. She hates it, because the blood that protects her the most is the one that makes her feel the worst. She throws up when she gets the transfusion and then she's sluggish for hours. And she hides all the time, because she doesn't want to show her face outside."

"You really are going through hell right now, aren't you?"

Curt shook his head.

"No. Hell is worse. Hell is a **whole** lot worse."

* * *

><p>"I take it he doesn't talk from personal experience?"<p>

"Let's just say, he was **very** good at 'accidentally' overhearing conversations between his parents."

* * *

><p>Beast looked down at the girl whose face was covered in sweat as she tried to hold up the various shards of metal. He glanced over the readings and then tapped the microphone feed into the main Danger Room.<p>

"Akira, you can desist levitating the miscellaneous magnetic objects and come up to the control room please?"

The objects fell to the ground and she wobbled a bit as she walked to the door. Logan raised an eyebrow.

"What's wrong, Hank? You're giving me that 'uh-oh' face you get any time something huge happens."

"The readings are wrong."

"What?"

"Look. Here's the data of Magneto manipulating metal. And here's Akira's."

"They look the same."

"No. They're not. Magneto –I assume you're familiar with wave-particle duality?"

"You think I've been able to live in a house with **you** for years and **not** know what wave-particle duality is?"

"Good, good. Well, Magneto manipulates the waves. Generates magnetic fields by playing about with waves and suchlike. But Akira… Logan, she's individually manipulating each individual photon. That's the reason she has so much trouble controlling her powers. She's working at sub-atomic levels. Photons and photo-electrons! And now!"

"What?"

"Logan… She's not using magnetism to levitate the metal."

"What!? Then what the…"

"I've run a rough scan and her data threw up matches to both Graviton and Gravity."

"Huh?"

"Graviton? Evil insane scientist? Almost destroyed entire Avengers lineup?"

"Hank, bear in mind I can't remember all the evil insane scientists who almost destroyed the Avengers. Who's Gravity?"

"A sterling example of a new superhero."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Logan, Akira's not just manipulating photons, she's manipulating gravitons as well."

"In accordance to the Theory of Everything?"

They turned to see Akira standing in the door, looking tired but pleased.

"You know, the theory that states that the fundamental forces of gravity, electromagnetism, and the strong and weak nuclear forces are all the same?"

Hank's mouth dropped open.

"Ah. Yes. Genius. Forgot."

Akira limped into the room and started trying to peer at the screens.

"Can I see?"

Once again, Logan grinned at the miracle of a telepathic language course. Three weeks, and the girl whose English had only really expended to greetings was now discussing advanced physics with Hank. Luckily, they'd decided to use Zillah for the teaching rather than Logan. Otherwise Akira would probably know more than a couple swear words.

Hank was pointing and explaining, and Akira kept firing questions at him. Then she frowned.

"Why can't I hold things up for long? Magento can. But I can't."

"Maybe your mutation works differently. You're expending energy on every particle, individually manipulating it."

"I… I try to picture what I do… But I can't. It's as if sight prevents me from seeing the things I need to interact with."

She slumped down.

"I don't think I'm able to understand what I need to. I… I thought I did… But now I'm not as sure…"

She looked exhausted.

"I… I can't **think** right! I've had images in my head about the subatomic world and they're all wrong!"

Hank gently steered her out of the control room, probably to take her to the medical room to let her rest. Logan had noticed that. Akira got exhausted as soon as she began using her powers. If only they could get Magneto or Polaris –Polaris for preference, but she wasn't really answering calls right now– to come and help her. Short of forbidding Akira to use her gifts –which kind of ignored the whole point of the school– there was nothing he could do to prevent her continual exhaustion.

Hank came back in and sat down.

"Logan, I'm worried. Akira's powers are slowly tearing her mind apart. She can't comprehend the true nature of it and she **has** to understand it to make it work. It's not instinctive. She has to control everything and it's too much for her."

Logan swore.

* * *

><p>"Then how on earth did she…?"<p>

"Phoenix. I'm not spoiling it for you. But take a guess."

"You don't mean that…?"

"Sadly, yes."


	263. Twisted Duty

**Memories**

Twisted Duty

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Thomas Logan watched as the governess walked swiftly through the garden, nose in her book. There was something **odd** about that woman. Something not quite right. Of course, it could be the fact she was insane, always talking about how women and men were equal and all were the same; man, woman and child where it truly mattered. He didn't believe that. There was an order to things and Soft John had upset it enough already, without this Douglas woman stirring things up.

He glanced up at the tree he was meant to be trimming. He wondered what damage a branch could do if cut at the right moment. She was walking under the tree. And the branch fell.

She flipped backwards, landing neatly with her legs splayed out, hands anchoring her to the floor. She looked up at him and her lips slid back in a terrifying snarl. Then she leapt forward, like a cat pouncing on a mouse, knocking the ladder over. And now she had a knife in her hands, a slender silver blade he had seen her use as a letter-opener, but it was clear now it was an ornate knife disguised as a letter opener, because the blade was as sharp as any knife used to butcher an animal.

"Listen well, Thomas Logan. I am here to do a job. Do not try and stop me from doing it, else I shall cut your throat and history be damned. Do you understand?"

There was something ancient and terrible in her eyes, the amber eyes that flashed liquid gold and for the briefest of moments he saw a face mutilated by scars. And her lips slid back in a snarl.

"I **said**, do you understand me?"

"Yes…! Yes!"

"Good. Then you'll forget all about this and never so much as **look** at me again."

She got up and with a casual wave of her hand, she was gone and Thomas wondered what had caused the ladder to fall over.

* * *

><p>"I know it was small and petty, but she did so want to punish her biological father-in-law. Does that even make sense? How can you have a biological father-in-law? Ooh, now I'm going to have to look that up!"<p>

Phoenix rolled her eyes.

"Sweetie, considering how long **you** managed to not think about this, how can you suddenly start wondering about it now?"

Death sniggered.

"She's getting scatterbrained. And we all know what happens when she does **that**."

* * *

><p>James sat there staring at her. His eyes were sad.<p>

"Miss Douglas, why can't I play outside?"

"You know why, James. You're still too weak."

"I hate being ill. I think it makes me less."

Her back stiffened and then she knelt in front of him and clasped his hands in hers.

"It is not how strong or healthy you are on the outside that matters, James. It is what is inside, what is in **here**," her hands touched his chest, "and here," hands on his head, "that matters. You are only as strong as you think you are. And you are kind and fair. You are strong."

He smiled and she leant forward and kissed his forehead.

"I will be next door. If you need anything, just call me."

* * *

><p>"How sweet."<p>

"Death, quit the sarcasm."

* * *

><p>She stood in silence, listening to the shouts and screams. And then the pure animal howl. Agony and pain. She slowly walked down the corridor and watched from the shadows as a mother rejected her child. And the boy ran in confusion and fear from the room, followed by Rose. And Tora entered the room and stood watching Elizabeth Howlett as she cradled the head of Thomas Logan in her lap. And then Tora spoke, cold and angry, as sharp as ice and as dangerous as Etana.<p>

"You disgust me. You turn aside your son. You grieve for a murderer. I have no pity for you."

The woman's head snapped up to look at her.

"You… What are you doing here!?"

And Tora let the mortal form slide off, revealing her as she truly was, a being made of ice and water and mist and light, a human-dragon who without limit.

"I am here to observe. Know this, you do not deserve him. He will never be able to overcome your rejection. He will always crave your love. And he deserves so much more. Elizabeth Howlett, you sicken me. I have watched parents die to save a child with a much greater 'deformity' than that of your son. And it is no deformity. It is a gift."

And she turned and walked away, removing the memories of what she had said from Dog's mind. But she walked away, knowing what Elizabeth Howlett would do next. And somehow, she found herself unable to feel regret.

* * *

><p>"She's losing herself! This is <strong>never<strong> a good thing!"

"Phoenix, what his mother did to Logan haunted him his entire life. His own mother called him an abomination. What mother does that?"

"Oh yes. You were always angry about that."

* * *

><p>Rose was running when she heard a cough and she turned to see Miss Douglas.<p>

"Come **in**, girl. You'll freeze."

"I… I was told to catch the train…"

"Trains are cancelled. The weather's too bad. Bring James in as well. Don't try and hide, I know what's wrong. Or what's right, rather."

"Miss Douglas?"

She turned to the girl.

"You honestly think that he is the only one? We are not as numerous as we will one day be, but we exist."

Rose stepped back in fear.

"You… You're like him…"

"Yes and no. We are all unique. Our gifts are different. But he must come in."

She led the shivering boy in and quickly had him in the bed, wrapped up in blankets. He fell asleep in an instant and she slowly walked around the tiny cottage, sorting items and putting a kettle on the fire to boil. Rose watched warily and then Miss Douglas sat down opposite her.

"Fire away. You obviously have a lot of questions."

"There's never been a house here."

Miss Douglas shrugged.

"I know. But you needed shelter so I made it."

"You…made a house?"

"I said we were all unique. I am just a little different to even the rest of my kind."

"Who are you?"

She sighed and her hands steepled under her chin and as Rose watched, her whole face seemed to melt and reform. The woman staring at her now had sharp golden eyes. Her red hair was scarred with black and hung loose around her shoulders and her face was scarred with parallel marks.

"I am Tora. Or Marie. Or Tigress. Or Dragon. I have gone by many names, I have been to the realm of King David and I have not yet been born."

Rose blinked. Tora rolled her eyes.

"I read you that new book by Mr Wells, did I not?"

"The Time Machine…? Wait! Are you saying that…?"

"I am from the future. Well… **A** future. There are many. But I was…injured and sent back here to make sure certain…events took place. Nothing much, just a little push here and there."

"Do you know James then?"

Tora paused and Rose saw something flash through her eyes.

"He is dear to me, yes."

"How far forward in time do you come from?"

The look that Rose got told her that Miss Do- Tora or Marie or Tigress or Dragon approved of her question.

"A little over a hundred years."

"And James is… James is…?"

"Still alive? Yes. And kicking. And fighting. Oh, is he fighting…"

Rose glanced at the sleeping boy. Tora obviously caught the look.

"He grows hard over the years. Life will not be easy on him. On all our kind, but him especially. He will scream and bleed and be called animal. And then he will find his family. **Our** family."

"You love him?"

A long pause. And then the golden eyes fixed on Rose's.

"What was the name of my fiancé?"

"Jim from the East Coas… You mean…?"

"I did not lie. The man I love runs a school on the East Coast. Just…not yet. Not for a while."

Rose glanced back at James.

"What do I do?"

"Keep him safe. Keep him secret. Head over to British Columbia. He will not be the same after tonight. Something in his mind is gone. He heals from more than physical wounds. It is the curse that we both live with."

"Then how do you have…?"

"Scars? My…sister tried to kill me. I had rights to something she desired and she scarred me. Later… Later she tried to kill my son. I did what I had to do."

Rose saw something in the eyes now, something pained and tired and old. There was something not there, something that was missing. Some vital part of this woman had been left behind and now she was not fully human.

"What do you want from me?"

"I need you to defend him. I cannot stay much longer. I have other duties to attend to. I will keep an eye out for him but I must deal with other matters. Then maybe I will be given peace."

The way she said the last sentence made Rose think she wasn't addressing her, but something internal.

"Take what you need from the cottage. It will provide food, clothes and limited shelter. Leave tomorrow, because I'm only putting enough power into this to make it last until midday."

"Wait! Are you leaving now?!"

"I have to. There is a pressing need for me to go to London."

"Wait!"

But as Rose watched, the mysterious woman she thought she had known faded away into nothing.

* * *

><p>"Really, Tora? <strong>Really<strong>?"


	264. Chessmaster

**Memories**

Chessmaster

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

_Very early morning- 9__th__ November 1888- Whitechapel, London_

'Jack' walked slowly down the street towards Primrose Street. Never run from the scene of the crime. This one had been easy. Then the woman stepped out of the alley. She was wearing a long woollen cloak that obscured her face, and woollen gloves. She tilted her head forward.

"Good sir, would you be able to escort me home?"

Fool. With the Ripper at large, asking a stranger to walk her home. Another victim tonight. Her accent was foreign; Slavic, or even Asian.

"Where would home be, my good lady?" Mocking, making fun of her precise English.

"Bonhill Street. Is too great a detour?"

"No miss. Not too far out of my way."

"_Toda._"

"You foreign?"

"Forgive me. I spoke Hebrew."

"You Jewish?"

"_Ken._ That means yes."

"How Jewish?"

"How can you have shades of a religion?"

She sounded posh. Her clothes weren't fashionable, simply practical. Yet she spoke with perfect grammar.

"You a nob?"

"No. I was raised in a simple farming family. My birth parents however? A different matter entirely."

"Whatcha mean?"

"It's complicated."

She was walking down the side alleys now. Jack wondered why she was going this way. Bonhill Street was west, not north. Then she turned.

"We are here."

"This ain't Bonhill."

"You are guilty of murdering Mary Ann Nichols, Annie Chapman, Elizabeth Stride, Catherine Eddowes and Mary Jane Kelly and mutilating their bodies."

"I ain't!"

And then the cloak fell off and Jack couldn't run, couldn't scream as the black angel stood before him. Solid silver eyes stared at him; midnight wings sealed his escape routes. Silver hair was pulled into a tight bun. A knife was passed from the demon's tail to her left hand. Another cack-hander, just like him. Was this thing an angel, come to avenge the women? Or a devil, come to take him home?

"I am the Shadow, Mr 'the Ripper'. Or to give me my full name, Justice's Shadow. I deal with the things my dear old master can't with the blindfold on."

And the knife was plunged into his chest and Jack fell to the dirt ground, lifeless.

Etana began cleaning up quickly and efficiently. And then she stopped and when she spoke again, there was a warmth in her voice.

"It's been a while."

"A little over fifty years. Since that little…debacle with the Hellfire Club."

Etana raised an eyebrow.

"Why are you interrupting me while I'm working?"

"The Ripper? Good one. I was actually here to suggest you take a holiday."

"What?"

"Oh, you know, a decade or so out of the job? I'll take over if you want?"

"Why?"

"What? Does there have to be a reason? I just think you deserve a break."

"There's **always** a reason with you. Everything is one big chess game for you."

Tora laughed as she stepped out of the shadows. She held up her hands.

"Oh, it's so much **more** than chess I'm playing. Seriously, I do think you should go on holiday. That place in Canada, isn't it meant to be nice at this time of year?"

Etana wiped the knife clean and slammed it back into the sheath in her boot.

"If you **tell** me why you want me to do this, I'll consider it. I've still not forgotten the Kabasi incident."

"Are you **still** upset about that? I rescued you, didn't I?"

Etana glared at her.

"And I limped for eight years. You could have got there **before** they started the torture."

"Fine, fine, the Kabasi wasn't my **best** day. I need you to go to Canada because a boy will need tutoring."

"Another piece in your game?"

Tora laughed.

"Shall we walk and talk? The police will be on the alert this morning."

Etana nodded sharply and the two walked off together as Tora explained **exactly** what Etana had to do.

* * *

><p>"Circles within circles. Tora always liked chess. It looks like she took to something even bigger."<p>

"Oh, during this time she was doing this, she began a **master**."

"You know, I always suspected Tora to have a secret manipulator deep inside her."

"She tended not to rely on plans. Plans got the way of real life. Much better to see what happens and then turn it into a victory. She was **spectacular** at that."

* * *

><p>The young man of about 17 screamed in the forest. Etana felt a flash of kinship and flicked her wings to land beside him. The boy didn't seem afraid. His eyes stared up at her.<p>

"Are you here to kill me?"

"And why would I do that, little one?"

"I want to die. Rose chose Smitty. He's like my father but I love her. Will you kill me?"

"I don't kill, little one. I protect. But I'll teach you if you want me to."

The boy turned to look at her and she saw the ice-blue eyes boring into her with an intensity that surprised her.

"Why?"

"Because we are the same. Because you would be the best student I could ever take."

"You're a teacher?"

"Among other things."

"I had a teacher. Miss Douglas. She was amazing. She made me laugh. At times I thought she was more of a mother than my own mother."

"Then come little one and I will show you. Show you how to protect those you care about."

She held out a hand and glanced over to see the cat sitting in the tree nearby, silver eyes fixed on them.

* * *

><p>"How sweet."<p>

"I'd say it was slightly freaky. Would she have done that if Tora hadn't told her to?"

"Probably not. But she grew to care for him."

* * *

><p>A few days passed. Then the boy came running to her once more, this time crying.<p>

"Little one, what is wrong?"

"I killed her. I killed her. She got between me and Dog. I didn't mean to kill her, it was an accident."

Etana didn't say anything but simply held the boy close to her as he cried.

"Come. You can stay with me until you are ready."

He snuffled into her chest and she smoothed his hair back, humming an old folk-song to try and sooth him.

* * *

><p>"Sad. Sad but sweet."<p>

* * *

><p>Cookie shifted through the stuff and smirked when he found the necklace. He flung the diary on the fire and was about to leave when a cold, harsh voice spoke.<p>

"Going through a dead woman's belongings, Mr Malone? Now you can't play Peeping Tom anymore."

He looked up. A woman stood in the doorway, her figure outlined by the moonlight, but her features in shadow.

"Who are you?"

She didn't answer but walked to the fire and plunged her hand in, pulling out the smouldering diary.

"Your cruelty knew no bounds when you cast this book outside. In this whole God-forsaken mudhole, you tried to burn the most precious thing of all. Truth."

But he was staring at the hand which had been surrounded by fire yet bore not marks.

"Who… Who are you?"

And she turned towards him and he saw her face. Four scars ripped down over her eye, cheek and mouth. Her hair was fiery orange, marred with a black streak and her eyes were like liquid gold in the firelight.

"I've gone by many names. Weapon X-ii. Tigress. Dragon. God. Demon. Freak. Human. Marie and Tora. I'm Logan's wife. Well… I **will** be his wife from his perspective, but from mine, we've been married for quite a while. Now hand over the necklace."

Cookie stepped backwards.

"You can't stop me."

"Mr Malone, I've fought **gods**. A fool camp cook poses no challenge to one trained to kill since birth. And equipped by Mother Nature with perfect weapons."

Gleaming cold metal suddenly protruded from her hands with a 'chikt' sound. The heavy man took another step backwards.

"You're like him!"

"A little. But he's just human. I'm a few steps further on."

And she flung her hands out and a solid wall of water pinned him to the opposite side of the cabin. She stalked forward and plucked the necklace out of his hands before twisting her left hand in a curling gesture and the water froze to ice, encasing him. She sat down neatly and opened the diary, glancing through it, apparently waiting for something or someone.

Her patience was rewarded when Smitty stumbled into the hut. He looked from Cookie to the woman in confusion.

"What the…?"

She got up and held out a hand, the necklace laced between her fingers.

"I found this turd trying to steal Rose's belongings. I…stopped him. I managed to resist lethal force. I thought you'd like the pleasure of that yourself, especially when I tell you that he used to follow her to the lake to watch her bath."

Smitty's mouth dropped open.

"Who… Who **are** you?"

"Call me Marie Douglas. Rose may have mentioned me. Or perhaps not."

She raised the hand containing the diary.

"This is meant for Logan. I will take it for him. And you can have her necklace. She would want you to have it."

"Wait! What are you?"

She paused, cocked her head to one side to consider it.

"Finally, someone asks a **sensible** question!"

He gulped and she smiled sadly.

"I am… I am the Tyger."

"What?"

She closed her eyes and began to chant in a low sing-song voice.

"_Tyger! Tyger! burning bright,  
>In the forests of the night.<br>What immortal hand or eye,  
>Could frame thy fearful symmetry?<em>"

She sighed.

"If I could answer that, I would be a whole lot better off than I am right now."

She held out the necklace again.

"Take it. She loved you. Never forget that."

His fingers brushed hers as he took the chain. And her eyes bore into him.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For helping him discover what true honour is. For being the father he needed. For shaping him for the better. You may not know it, but Logan will one day be one of the greatest heroes the world has ever seen."

And she slowly faded away, like a mirage in the haze.

* * *

><p>"Er… Am I missing something?"<p>

"Don't worry, Jean. Long story, and I'm **trying** to keep this to a minimum. Ask Death. She'll be happy to explain, when I'm not as busy. Or you can just pop in every now and then to see me in the new omniverse."

"Yeah… About that… I still think you're making a mistake…"

"Please, don't try and dissuade me. I made my choice. Respect it."


	265. Fair Warning

**Memories**

Fair Warning

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

_Etana's eyes flickered open and fixed on Tora._

"_Sorry… Didn't…want to…drag you…into all…this…"_

"_It's okay, Etana. Rest. Right now, you need to get your strength back. Do you know who else…"_

_Who else survived? She couldn't quite bring herself to ask the question._

"_I… I think Steve… tunnel… Max…in Israel…safe… Please…"_

"_Calm down, Tana. You've been badly injured. You need to rest. You'll be safe here. You're the only one who's found us."_

"_And I tracked her."_

_Tora whipped around to see Logan standing in the door, a crazed look in his eyes._

"_Thanks, Tan. You led me right where I wanted. I can kill you all, and Jamie will come with me."_

_Tora snarled._

"_No. You won't. You will never touch my son again."_

_Kurt vanished in a puff of brimstone smoke, hopefully to get the kids to the evacuation pod. Logan ducked, obviously expecting a fist to the back of the head. He seemed surprised when none came._

"_Elf's changed tactics. So, Tora. Are you going to come back, or will I have to kill you?"_

_Tora spat at him._

"_I'd rather die than ever be stuck with you again!"_

"_That can be arranged."_

_And then there was a resounding clang and Logan toppled forward. Jamie stuck his head round the door, still holding the socket wrench._

"_I think I hit him a little too low. Should his head be bleeding like that?"_

xXx

_She always had/has/will-have a bit of trouble differentiating between Now and Everywhen. When you existed/exist/shall-exist at all points in the universe, all of space and time, you tend to forget/forgot/will-forget important things, like "Where the Skaro am I?" Or for that matter the equally important question, "__**When**__ the Skaro am I?" She didn't/doesn't/will-not really remember when she was/is/will-be dumped in the museum, an example of the old Type-42. She lay/lies/will-lie there, slowly degenerating, wished/wishing/shall-wish to be free and unfettered once more. And then his hands laid/lay/shall-lie on her console and she heard/hears/will-hear a voice, gruff and low._

"_Hello, beautiful."_

_She felt/feels/will-feel something she hadn't/hasn't/won't felt/feel for a long time. She knew/knows/shall-know where she was, when she was. She could/can/will feel his mind, soft and warm and bright. He dreamt/dreams/will-dream of travel, of exploring the whole universe. The only one of the whole damned race she'd met/shall-meet with dreams of something better. It was the work of a moment to close the doors and run away with him. Oh, he thought he had stolen her, but she had stolen him. She wanted/wants/will-want to see the universe and he was one of the few mad enough to go with her._

_They saw/see/will-see the whole universe. He landed/lands/will-land wherever she decided to take him; go off; find an exciting thing to see, world to save, monster to defeat; and then he'd return back to her and collapse on her console, stroking the controls, talking to her softly._

"_Hey, old girl. Great to see you. Right mess you dumped me in today, but I had such fun I'll forgive you."_

_He changed/changes/will-change his face. More than once. Changed his face, his clothes, his personality. Yet through all that he still returned/returns/will-return to her over and over again. And then the call came/comes/will-come. Return home. We go to war._

_She knew/knows/will-know how the war would end. So she fled/flees/will-flee, taking him with her. She could-not/can-not bear the thought of losing him forever. They landed/land/will-land on a backwater world, calling upon the Chameleon Arch, prepared/preparing/will-prepare to become one of the sentient race on the planet she landed/lands/will-land upon, a race called 'human'. He initiated/initiates/shall-initiate the face change and she bundled/bundles/will-bundle the infant into the Arch. She began/begins/will-begin to change his very genetic structure but at the last second added/adds/shall-add a few 'extras', just to keep him safe. Then she moved/moves/will-move, leaving the baby in place of the stillborn in the cot._

_She waited/waits/will-wait. And waited/waits/will-wait. And waited/waits/will-wait. She laid/lay/will-lie there, waited/waiting/will-wait for him after he left/leaves/will-leave –the little extras coming in handy after all- slowly lost/losing/will-lose herself in the flow of time. She could/can/will always feel him –they had-been/are/will-be bonded too long to just stop, but she was/is/will-be unable to help as he was/is/will-be manipulated, twisted and tormented. The war was/is/shall-be long over –his people dead/dying/shall-die bar one other- but he did-not/does-not/will-not return. He never questioned/questions/will-question the golden pocket watch with its intricate carvings –considering it a memento from his 'father'- not knowing his true self resided within. She waited/waits/will-wait. And waited/waits/will-wait. Until it seemed/seems/will-seem as if she had always been waiting._

_And then he returned/returns/shall-return. But not truly. He wandered/wanders/will-wander the house this body grew-up/grows-up/shall-grow-up in, looked/looking/will-look at the ruins. And he found/finds/will-find her. The gnarled old tree he used-to/does/will love the most, where he sat/sits/will-sit all the time. He placed/places/will-place his hands on her outside but didn't/doesn't/won't move to pull the exact branch which would/does/will open the doors to adventure once more._

_She moved/moves/will-move, eventually. Closer to where he was/is/will-be. Call it a hint. But, no he had-to/has-to/will be thick about it. He was/is/shall-be old –ancient by the standards of these short-lived people. The supposedly short escape had/has/will become a significant section of even his life –which in comparison to hers was/is/shall-be ridiculously short. She was /is/shall-be an antique when he was/is/shall-be made but she knew/knows/will-know in her heart of hearts that with his death, she too would/shall/will die._

_And then someone pointed/points/will-point out the pocket watch and she felt/feels/shall-feel him flip it over and over in his hands then make the decision to open it –some 150 years after she had/has/will dropped/dropped/drop him off in the first place. The watch opened/opens/will-open. And he was /is/shall-be reborn._

_His human friends and companions watched/watch/will-watch in amusement as he ran/runs/will-run through the city until he found/finds/will-find the white marble column which he hugged/hugs/will-hug and stepped/steps/will-step back, blushing sheepishly._

"_Sorry I forgot you, gorgeous. You ready to explore the universe again?"_

_Another spoke/speaks/will-speak –the Timeless Man._

"_Logan, why are you talking to a statue?"_

"_It's not a statue. It's my ship. And Logan's not my real name."_

"_Look, I know you're really James-"_

"_That's not my name either. I'm… well, it usually translates as whatever small, exceptionally fierce creature is native to that world and timezone, so stick with Wolverine for the moment. And this is my Old Girl. Come on, darling. Open the doors for me."_

_She assented/assents/will-assent and he entered/enters/will-enter the control room –which had been empty for far too long. As his hands ran/runs/will-run over the console once more, caressing and gently reintroducing himself to her, she heard/hear/will-hear the Timeless Man, the Patriotic Captain, exclaim in amazement "It's bigger on the inside" to which her dear Time Lord answered/answers/will-answer rather irritably –as she always knew/knows/will-know he would- "It is a she. Also, surely you've seen stuff like this over time."_

_She hummed/hums/will-hum contentedly._

"_Darling. Good to be back."_

_His hands brushed/brush/will-brush instruments, consoles, controls and she set-up/sets-up/shall-set-up the holographic information centre, taking the form of a rather attractive young Time Lady he'd travelled/travels/will-travel with for a while._

"_Wolverine. This is the TARDIS reintroduction protocol. First, where the Skaro have you been, idiot?"_

_He laughed/laughs/will-laugh._

"_Hey, Gorgeous. Missed you too."_

"_No you haven't. You have been under the delusion that you were a human."_

_He reached/reaches/will-reach forward and his fingers slid/slide/will-slide through the light projection._

"_They're all gone, aren't they? All my people?"_

"_Not quite. One still exists."_

_He rolled/rolls/will-roll his eyes._

"_It's going to be Theta, isn't it?"_

"_The renegade known as the Doctor, as well as Theta Sigma or in your words "that crazy idiot" is still at large and is –oh, due to arrive in three point six seconds because he fears you are either the Master or the Council."_

_He grinned/grins/will-grin._

"_Oh, then let's run, gorgeous. Give him a game of cat and mouse."_

_She allowed/allows/will-allow the hologram to smile._

"_I was hoping you'd say that. My little Time Lord."_

"_My TARDIS."_

_She was/is/will-be complete…_

* * *

><p>"She really is slightly crazy."<p>

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Guess the crossover! It's a 50-year-old British cult sci-fi show. The idea of Tora being a TARDIS just struck me as rather amusing. Also, Neil Gaiman did such a good job of writing _The Doctor's Wife_ episode, I now view Doctor/TARDIS as the OTP of the entire show. Sorry River!_


	266. Old Friends, Old Enemies

**Memories**

Old Friends, Old Enemies

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Max was staggering back to his building, still stiff from yesterday's beating. Then he heard low, urgent voices. And then a slight, tiny woman stumbled out of the gap between two buildings. He barely had time to wonder how on earth a woman had managed to get to the men's area when she grabbed his arm.

"Go. She's waiting. Can't wait long."

Her voice was urgent but cracked and worn. She looked fragile, half a step away from a corpse. He tried to pull free, but her grip was like a vice.

"She can't stay long. Can't take too many. You must go now. **Now**!"

He opened his mouth to tell her to let go of him but the implicit message got in.

"I… I can get out?"

"The Half-Fallen awaits. Go. Now!"

The urgency was rising. Max could hear guards talking as they rounded the next corner. He'd never reach the shadows in time!

And then the woman, with a surprising strength that seemed to contradict her frame threw him towards the shadows and he crashed into the chest of a… an **angel**! Dark and terrible, yet also kindly. A hand clasped around his mouth as he watched the guards round the corner and sight the woman, who gave only the slightest of glances towards him and the angel before sprinting away, her stick-like legs twisting under her as she ran. Max tried to pull free, to help her but blackness surrounded him and when the light returned he was nowhere he recognised.

He turned to the angel-woman, whose silver hair was slipping out of her bun and her face was taut with some emotion he didn't recognise.

"Go back! Go back and save her!"

She slowly shook her head.

"I cannot. Everything I do relies on secrecy. Spiriting away a woman from under the noses of eight guards is impossible. Already, they are suspicious."

Max glared at her, his fists clenched.

"You have to save her!"

"She made her choice. I cannot go back. I'm sorry."

Max screamed and leapt at her, pummelling her chest with his balled-up fists. The woman –no angel would be so heartless- didn't respond, merely let him hit her again and again before slowly catching his wrists and pulling back and kneeling, so her eyes were level with his.

"I'm not a miracle worker. I just try my best. I cannot afford to be too obvious. If I saved her, I would be unable to save many others. I have to think in terms such as this, balancing lives every day. I do not **like** it. But I have to do it. She was prepared to die, just to save you. How do you think she would feel if I saved her, at the cost of countless other lives I could have saved? Look at me. Please, do not hate me for the choice I have to make."

Max nodded slowly.

"Who… Who are you?"

"I am Shadow. And what is your name, little one?"

"Max. Max Eisenhardt."

"Well, Max Eisenhardt, come with me. I will help you."

* * *

><p>"Why one <strong>earth<strong> did she do that? It shaped Magneto's whole life!"

"I rather think that was Tora's idea."

"What? **Tora**?"

"Didn't you recognise the woman? Etana planned it carefully with her. Didn't **like** it, but went along with it. She trusted Tora's judgement."

"Did she **ever** go against Tora?"

"Once. And she almost destroyed the whole closed loop as a result."

* * *

><p>Etana's arms were folded as she stared down at the cat.<p>

"That was uncalled for. The boy doesn't understand. And I know what you're trying to do. This is James all over again, and I don't want the heartbreak."

The cat blinked up at her.

"And you're not telling me everything. There is something in that boy I'm not quite sure of."

The cat didn't answer, merely remained looking up at her.

"For pity's sake, **talk** to me! There's something broken in that boy and I need to –**want** to- fix it! I want to help him, because… Because I see myself in him. A lonely child who has lost everything and forced to grow up before their time. How do I **help** him?"

_I cannot say. That is for you to choose. The boy is in your hands now. Shape him as you see fit._

"I am no **mother**. I am a sensei, maybe. Not a mother. I can't raise a child as young as this. Not safely. Not with what he needs. For pity's sake, I can barely display any emotions anymore, let alone the love a boy needs! I've shut everything away and I can't just open the gates to allow myself to love and it would just end up destroying me!"

_You claim to be so aloof, to not love, yet look at you. You are trying to reach out and help him. Already you care._

Etana slowly sat down. The cat leapt up.

_Please scratch behind my ears._

"Why?"

_This body likes it. It's irrational, but it's been quite a while since I took corporal form. Humour me._

Etana started scratching the cat behind the ears. There was a knock on the door and then Max burst in. He saw the cat and his eyes lit up. Etana got a sneaky look in her eyes and held out the cat.

"She's all yours."

The cat meowed and squirmed as Max hugged it tight.

"She's so pretty! What's her name?"

"She hasn't got one. She's a beautiful cat, isn't she?"

_I. Will. Have. My. Revenge._

Max's face with alight with joy at the thought of his own cat.

"We had a cat… But… But they threw stones at it…"

His eyes suddenly averted. The cat stopped squirming and gently rubbed her jaw against his face. Max sniffled and hugged her tighter.

"I… I'll just go…"

He hurried off, snuggling the cat to his chest. Etana watched him go, face barely registering the maelstrom of emotions she felt inside.

* * *

><p>"How sad. She wanted to help him just as much as Etana did, but she couldn't."<p>

"She wasn't doing what the other time travellers did. She was remaining within the reality, so her actions had repercussions to her actual life. The other time travellers could do well to remember that. You always jump realities."

* * *

><p>Max looked at the cat who was sitting on the bed, washing her paws.<p>

"I'm going to call you Magda. You're pretty like Magda is."

The cat's big eyes stared at him then slowly blinked. They were gorgeous amber eyes, contrasting sharply with her blue-grey fur with slightly darker grey stripes, like a tiger. She purred softly then leapt down and wound herself around his legs. Max slowly picked her up and cuddled her.

"You won't leave me, will you? You won't be taken from me."

He could have sworn he saw a flash of sorrow in Magda's eyes.

* * *

><p>"Oh, what happened to the poor cat!?"<p>

"The physical body was killed in the destruction of Haven. She tripped Max as the house fell in, meaning he wasn't crushed by a falling beam. It killed her instantly."

"That's so…**Tora**!"

* * *

><p>They stood in silence, staring at the vapour trail left by the rocket flying overhead. Etana was wrapped in a long red cloak and Tora was in her semi-corporal form, the ice and water version of her human body.<p>

"You could go and save him, if you so choose."

Etana slowly shook her head.

"He does more good in the future. If I were to save him, what would come of it?"

"You would both be a lot happier."

"But the world would not be a better place. I'm sorry. I have to put my own feelings aside for this."

Tora stared ahead. They watched in silence as the trail spluttered out and the rocket began to fall.

"He does survive, doesn't he?"

Tora smiled sadly.

"Yes. Last time I saw him, I tried to punch him."

"Why?"

"He'd got me off a lot of criminal charges."

"And why's that a bad thing?"

"Because I wanted to be convicted. Look, it's awkward, you'll catch up later."

And then Etana stiffened, her whole body tensing up.

"Haven's under attack!"

And she vanished in a cloud of black smoke, leaving Tora alone to watch Captain America fall into an icy sea.

* * *

><p>"How could Tora <strong>do<strong> that?! She was tormenting Etana!"

"How was she in two places at once?"

"Er… Phoenix? Stupid question."

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Next chapter, shocking revelation about Tora's past. And Etana's involvement in it._


	267. Protector of Children

**Memories**

Protector of Children

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Etana ran. She reached the cliff in time to see the woman fling her bundle over the precipice. Without a second thought, Etana leapt forward, spreading her wings out wide, not knowing this would be the last time she would fly so easily. She regulated her speed so she fell at the same rate as the bundle, caught it and then slowly began flying upwards. She soared over the top of the waterfall and alighted in front of the terrified woman.

"Stay away from me!"

"How **dare** you, Raven Wagner! This is your child! How can you abandon him?"

And then the mob arrived and the blue woman jabbed a hand at Etana.

"She! She said she was an angel! She promised to give me a child! And she cursed me! She cursed my baby! She is a demon!"

Etana's eyes widened in shock as the mob turned to look at her, to take in the black fur and huge wings, the silver eyes and hair which reflected the torchlight. And then the first stone was thrown.

The wings curled round to defend the newborn and the stone hit one of the bones. She tried to run but the fists were raining down now and it was all she could do to curl herself around the baby. Now she could look at him properly and looked into the big yellow-gold eyes, so innocent and without malice. Azazel's spawn. Her uncle. And already, she felt kinship with this child. After all, it could have so easily been her who was abandoned by her parents. Instead, they died for her.

She screamed as one of the main bones in her wings gave way under the repeated pounding and from peering through the cracks in her wings, she could see Raven running for safety. She managed a few steps before falling to her knees, still staring at the little baby who deserved so much more than he would be given. Then she heard a voice, as powerful as the water rushing over the falls.

_Desist!_

The hands stopped their onslaught and Etana dared to peek out. The river itself had risen up, and a magnificent figure had appeared, a woman as tall as a house.

_Run. I can hold them off for long enough to let you get away. Go to Margali._

Etana nodded then sprinted away, clinging the precious bundle to her chest, ignoring the spears of pain in her wings.

* * *

><p>"She wasn't meant to be destroyed."<p>

"She wasn't though?"

"Taking her flight? In her eyes, that was destruction."

* * *

><p><em>I need you to transport a child.<em>

Etana didn't look up from the sword, kept on running the whetstone down the blade.

"I'm not taking in another of your strays. James has been tortured beyond recognition! Max **died**! I can't go through that again! And the last time I did what you told me to –save Azazel's son instead of kill the mother- I ended up with my wings broken. I'll never fly again."

_This is a simple movement. I need you to take a girl from an address in Provence to Alberta. A man will meet you, and take her from you._

"Why?"

_She has a…fate to fulfil._

Etana stopped sharpening the sword.

"Who is the man who will take the child?"

_His name is Robson-_

The sword clattered to the ground as Etana leapt up.

"You want me to hand an innocent child over to Weapon X?! After all they did to James?! That's it! I'm not doing this anymore! I'm fed up of your games, your manipulations! I'm not your pawn anymore! I'm sick and tired of your sacrifice plays, your endless denials and half-truths!"

_You __**have**__ to do this, Etana. Without this, everything I have worked for will be for naught. We are tied together and- _

"NO! I am **not** handing over an innocent to those…those **monsters**!"

_And what if the child gave consent?_

"What child could consent to something they don't understand?"

_I give my consent for you to take me to Weapon X and hand me over to them._

Etana froze, her hands in the middle of waving angrily.

"You? All this time? You're a victim of Weapon X?"

_I am Weapon X-ii. I am the failure. I would not kill._

Etana's mouth was wide open.

_The pair of us, we're tied together. Without your cooperation in this matter, I do not exist as I am today. If I do not exist, then you die before you are twelve-hours old. Your move._

And Tora faded out of existence, leaving Etana staring at the wall, upon which was an address and a meeting time and place.

* * *

><p>Phoenix sat bolt upright, her whole body stiffening.<p>

"She never would!"

Then she rounded on the masked woman.

"You knew! You knew, all this time, and you never even **told** me! How could you?! How **could** you!?"

The woman raised her hands warily.

"You didn't need –or want– to know the truth. I'm sorry."

* * *

><p>Etana ran through the woods, clutching the toddler to her chest. The girl didn't cry. Her big amber eyes were staring up at Etana, questioningly. Then she tried to hug her and Etana broke down into tears as she kept on running, each step taking the girl further away from the loving family she should have had.<p>

She slowed and held the girl up. There was nothing of her adult self there. No pain in the eyes, no scarring, no fear. Etana knew she'd done horrific things over the years. The King's Hand was an indiscriminate killer. She'd been forced to balance lives over the years, to weigh up who was worth more than the others, to calculate who she should save. But this was the one thing she couldn't do.

Yes, she had been given permission from the woman this girl would become. But the child had no say. And then Etana sat on a fallen log and clutched Marie Circen to her chest and cried.

If she were not the Malach Hamavet, she would never be given a place in the Chosen.

* * *

><p>Death was pointedly not looking at the pool. She'd tended to distance herself from Etana's mortal exploits, only sending her messages when she needed the Malach Hamavet to work. Seeing her break down probably wasn't going to be helpful for when she went back to the Afterlife and needed her to do lots of organisation and the messy jobs.<p>

* * *

><p>She stood in the shadows. Her contact was on the other side of the square, foot tapping impatiently. She looked down at the little bundle strapped to her chest. The girl was sleeping peacefully, her thumb stuck firmly in her mouth. Etana gently teased it out from her lips and looked at the child.<p>

It would be so easy to just run now. Either find a way of returning the girl, or raise her as her own, so she would never become that fearful, inhuman being made of water and a heart of ice, who was willing to condemn herself to a lifetime of suffering, just to keep some stupid timeline on course. She was about to turn on her heel and vanish when she felt a trickling drop of water on the back of her neck. She was wearing a hood that completely covered her face, so there was no way it could be an accident. The hissing voice in the base of her skull displaced any notion of running with the girl.

_You swore. The timeline must be kept on course_.

And slowly, with her lead heart somewhere in the vicinity of the Earth's mantle, Etana walked across the square to the man who impatiently held out his arms.

"Give me the girl."

_I give my consent_.

Etana almost teleported then. Get away from here, get away from the man, get away from **her**. But there was nowhere you could run that she wouldn't be found. So she held out the child, who mumbled happily in her sleep. This was the hardest thing she had ever done.

The man almost snatched Marie and then pointed to a briefcase.

"Your money's in there. Take it and leave."

She was sorely tempted to stab him, bring the knife up under his ribcage to puncture his lung. She didn't want to take the money but then she knew what she had to do.

Two hours later, money rained from the sky in the poorest sections of the world.

* * *

><p>"Blood money. How could she take it?"<p>

"She never touched it and gave it to those who needed it more than she did."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Jeanniebird was the one who gave me the idea for this. She asked how Weapon X knew about Tora's powers -here's your answer._


	268. Lone Friend

**Memories**

Lone Friend

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Zillah flopped back onto her bed. Garfunkel gave a disgruntled "nark" at being displaced and waddled off, leaving a single glossy egg on the bedspread. Sighing, Zillah carefully picked it up and stuck it in the small incubator Dr McCoy had let her have when she explained that Garfunkel "wasn't very good with eggs". It was entirely possible the egg wasn't fertilised, in which case she'd probably introduce the others to the joys of fried dodo eggs.

The door opened and Akira entered. The unlikely duo had ended up sharing, mainly because no one else was willing to share with them. Zillah because everyone was scared of her and the legacy she bore with the name Bat Etana; Akira because no one wanted to believe that a ten-year-old was capable of dissipating an earthquake or was happiest when at one of Dr McCoy's impenetrable Physics lectures. They were alone and they bonded with that lonliness, despite the age difference between them. Somehow, the two only children had formed a close, almost sisterly bond. They were both out of place and felt afraid, and lost in this new world.

"Quentin Quire…"

Zillah looked up and snarled. Akira had pen scribbled all over her face and arms, spelling out obscenities in Japanese. The way they were written made it quite clear Akira had been made to write them herself.

"I am going to **kill** him!"

She got up and marched out, heading towards the student area.

"QUIRE!"

He turned to her.

"Hey, Shadow-freak. _You will take your top off and dance on the tables._"

She darted forward and grabbed him in a hammer-lock.

"I've been taught telepathic shielding since I was two. Now, are you going to come with me to apologise to Akira or will I have to circumcise you? I can do it with a blunt knife as well."

Kid Omega gulped and let Zillah drag him through the school by his ear. The other students watched. Neither of the two students making a spectacle of themselves was very popular, and a direct confrontation between them had been bubbling under the surface for weeks. Zillah had been favourite to beat Quire to a pulp, and quite a lot of money would change hands later.

Akira peered out the door as Zillah dragged Quire up to the door.

"Now apologise. Or shall I get the flint?"

Quire gulped.

"I'm sorry."

Akira's brown eyes blinked in confusion. Then she switched to Japanese.

"You didn't have to do this."

Zillah grinned and responded in the same language.

"Of course I do. We're friends. Friends look after each other."

Akira smiled and then spoke in English.

"Forgiven."

Zillah released her captive who sprinted off and reentered their room.

"Like I said, we're friends."

Akira smiled shyly, before switching to their other tongue.

"I don't think I've ever had a friend before."

"Neither have I."

* * *

><p>The image froze on their shy smiles. Phoenix almost reached out and touched the water.<p>

"They were so alone."

"How do you think Zillah reacted to Akira's capture? Why do you think she became more like Etana?"

* * *

><p>Akira shivered and looked up at the camera fixed on her face. The light was blinking, she was being recorded. And then the boy whose face she still hadn't seen stepped in front of her.<p>

"Well, Wolverine. You promised to care for your students, so I'm here to show you exactly why you shouldn't have made that promise. I'm assured this girl is one of yours. I don't know and quite frankly don't care what her mutant abilities are. In fact, I'm wondering whether she even has any, as the most harm she's done any of my men was to kick them. And not even that hard. In fact, they laughed most of the time, because she kept apologising."

Akira gulped back tears. So what if she believed in a pacifist ideology? Hitting the men who were kidnapping her went against everything she believed in. Maybe Zillah would have got herself out of this by now. Wait, that was stupid. Zillah wouldn't even have been silly enough to go to the library and get captured. And if she were, she'd have kicked her opponents somewhere that actually hurt, like the groin. Apparently, Krav Maga preferred strikes like that and it was easily Zillah's favourite martial arts style.

A hand reached down from behind and grabbed her head. Sharp nails dug into her jaw but she didn't give them the satisfaction of yelping. The boy was speaking again.

"So now I'm going to get Mr Creed to show you exactly what will happen to any student of yours we catch who isn't willing to join our school."

He turned to face her and his smile was cruel.

"Smile. You're on TV."

The hand on her face was brought up and she clenched her eyes shut as she felt sharp nails –almost claws- touch them.

"Now, now. Open your eyes. It will be easier for you that way. Look at me."

Her eyelids flickered open. The cruel boy's face was full of laughter. It was the last thing she saw before the claws dug into her eyes.

* * *

><p>The whole room wavered with the pain that radiated from the pool. All three cosmic entities automatically brought their hands up to their eyes. Phoenix gasped out something that sounded like "Oh my…" before screaming as the pain set in.<p>

* * *

><p>Logan's hands crushed the back of his chair as he was forced to watch Sabretooth gouge out the eyes of his student. Zillah had run into his room two hours ago, panicking because Akira had gone to the library and not come back. And as they began to panic, he had received the message from Kilgore. Now he was being forced to watch his student being tortured. And not any student. But Akira. Quiet, competent Akira, whose powers were slowly killing her and who would never dream of turning them on a living being.<p>

In the chair next to him, Zillah's lip was covered in blood from where she had bit it. He would have sent her out. Except she kept teleporting back in, trying to call for Akira. In the end he had given up. She was too like Etana. And maybe this would teach her not to disobey him again.

Akira finally started screaming. It seemed to be a delayed reaction, but Logan knew best. There was something about her, something that hated showing the slightest sign of weakness. She hid inside herself and seemed to resist showing emotion. Screaming like this… It was the most out of control he had ever seen her, except when she was talking science with Hank. Then her whole face lit up, her eyes alight with passion for understanding. Her eyes…

There was so much blood and her screams echoed, even through the tinny speakers. He could smell fresh blood, but that was Zillah, from where her lip was chewed to shreds in anguish. And then as Kilgore and Creed began the taunts he was ignoring, he watched as Akira stopped her gulping sobs and then seemed to look around. Her hands twisted.

There was a blinding flash of light.

Then the camera cut off.

* * *

><p>"Why on <strong>earth<strong> did Logan let Zillah watch?"

"You try keeping her out of his office when her friend was missing!"


	269. Quantum World

**Memories**

Quantum World

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Akira was in agony. And then, somehow, through the blackness, she suddenly **saw**. Not in the faded, untrue way she always had seen. But the **truth**. And she moved her hand with the tiniest of flicks, gently pushing on this new world that was opened up to her. The response was instantaneous, automatic screams from the man and boy. Another twist and she manipulated the gluons for the first time, breaking down the atoms in the ties that held her to hydrogen.

"Thank you."

What else could she say? If they hadn't taken her eyes, she'd have never **seen**.

"I understand now. Reality is a lie. Classical mechanics are false. There is only the quantum world. Everything else is a lie."

Even her other senses were false. Solid was a lie. Almost everything was space. But she could still get an idea of what she **would** have seen, if of course, what she had been seeing for all these years was **true**. She even could tell to the exact microhertz what the frequency of the colour of their clothes were.

"Humanity cannot comprehend this. It is so much more that what we think…"

She used the light from overhead, shifted the frequency down, increasing the wavelength to create a barrier of searing heat around her. Infrared radiation, a bubble a metre thick. She took a few nervous steps forward. Soon she realised could use concentrations of gluons and the movements of W- and Z-bosons allowed her to guess with startling clarity where objects that her body would consider physical were. She slowly walked forward. The slight electromagnetic hum of human bodies seemed rather nervous about coming too close to her.

She walked and kept on walking. Some guards tried to shoot her but it was a simple matter to deflect the bullets so they lodged in the ceiling and wouldn't hurt anyone. When they tried to get too close, they reached the first warning layer of heat and quickly backed away. Then she felt something running towards her, something that should be bright and pure but was somehow broken, with the molecules… **wrong**. The chemical compounds weren't right.

Alien neurobiology wasn't Akira's area of specialism. But she **was** very good at telling where something was wrong. So she made a couple of quick changes, broke and reformed bonds, shuffled some stuff around and then…

"I'm sorry. Are you…? Oh, your eyes!"

"Excuse me? Who are you?"

"My name is Broo. I was a student at the Jean Grey-"

"Me too. I'm Akira. How do I get out?"

Broo paused.

"This way."

Something slid into Akira's hand and the pair shot off down the corridor. Then Broo said something in an alien language which didn't sound very polite.

"Azazel's here."

Akira couldn't get a complete fix on him. There was something around him, almost warping. And then he vanished from where he was but there was a shifting in the photons just **there** and…

* * *

><p>Phoenix yelped.<p>

"Stop it! I can't keep this up!"

"Oh, is da ickle Phoenix having problems with looking at things on an itsy-bitsy scale? How sad?"

"Just because you're an obsessive-compulsive who spent a whole millennia going round just looking at things on a quantum scale to "see what it's like" doesn't mean the rest of us are that sad!"

"She does have a point, Phoenix. We're cosmic beings. Observing the quantum level shouldn't be a hassle for us."

"Shut up, Death!"

* * *

><p>Azazel yelped as he appeared to find himself enclosed in what appeared to be very, very cold ice. The girl was walking towards him, her empty eye sockets still dripping with blood.<p>

"You will take us to the Jean Grey Institute or I'll… I'll have to tighten the nitrogen you're encased in and it's very, **very** cold. 63.15 Kelvin. Or −195.79 °C. Or −320.33 °F. It depends on your standard scale. Strictly speaking, we should all use Kelvin. It's the SI unit and I'm sorry I'm gabbling but I'm not feeling very safe so I apologise, but can you please take me and my companion back to our school? It's just that if I'm not back in half an hour I'll miss Dr Banner's talk that Mr Logan managed to persuade him to do on gamma radiation and given the circumstances, I suddenly have a much clearer understanding of wave-particle duality and I want to see if Dr Banner agrees with my hypothesis."

She paused and then went "Ow." Then she went "Oohh!" as if she had discovered something interesting.

"Hey, Broo! I can control the electro-photons to prevent the pain from my injuries from registering, without permanent nerve damage! I think I've been doing it since I really got an idea of…"

In a desperate attempt to escape the gabbling girl and her pet alien, Azazel teleported them all to the Jean Grey School and was about to teleport away when someone rugby-tackled him and started punching him in the mouth.

"HOW DARE YOU TAKE AKIRA!? HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY FRIEND!? I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!"

He opened his eyes, saw a perfect replica of his wayward granddaughter from when she had been a teenager and had kept out of his way and that was just one thing too much for him and he teleported away, silently swearing to sever all ties with the Hellfire Academy. If they were going to end up facing the gabbling powerhouse who hadn't even noticed her eyes had been gouged out and his granddaughter reborn, well, he was going to go back to La Isla des Demonas.

Etana had definitely inherited her maternal grandmother's temperament. And that was not good. Not good at **all**. Why on earth had he ever had Akela with her?

* * *

><p>"Who <strong>was<strong> Etana's maternal grandmother? I don't think she ever said."

"Etana didn't know. But I think Zillah was rather astonished when she turned up."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>__I haven't got a __**clue**__ what happened with this chapter. It was meant to be very serious. Very dark. And far too like the other stuff I've been writing for the last few chapters._

_And then Akira opened her mouth._

_That's when I was struck by the sudden realisation that Akira is probably the truest representation of me you'll see in _Memories_. Geeky, not the most socially aware and when under any form of stress, tends to gabble Physics to keep herself sane. Writing her little speech took barely any time at all, just a few cross-checks on facts. That's not to say I'm Akira. I'm definitely not a genius, and I certainly don't understand quantum mechanics beyond the basics that I've mentioned. For that reason, don't expect too many bits from Akira's perspective. No one can write in the terms of someone who sees the world the way Akira does. Maybe one day..._

_Also, you weren't going to get this chapter for another day or so, but I got unconditional offers to two of my choices, so I want to spread the happiness! YAY!_


	270. Bad Patient

**Memories**

Bad Patient

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Akira lay on the bed, with the bandages strapped around her eyes.

"Dr McCoy, I assure you that I am fine. I am disrupting the neural signals that make me feel pain and I really want to talk to Dr Banner."

"Absolutely not, my dear girl. You've suffered a great deal of blood loss and your brain is still adjusting to its new, rather spectacular method of input."

"But I wanted to talk to Dr Banner about wave-particle duality!"

Beast sighed and quickly injected something into the drip that led into Akira's arm. She paused, her head tilted slightly and then she slumped backwards and her head hit the pillow. Beast sighed.

"You, my dear, are going to be a difficult patient, I can just tell."

That was when Zillah's determined attempts to get into the medical bay paid off and she jumped in through the window.

"Akira, I'm here!"

Beast groaned and sat down.

"Scratch that. You and your friend are going to be very difficult patients and visitors and my fur will go grey again."

Zillah staggered up and raised a hand.

"I'm here…"

And then –due to her having not slept for eighteen hours and having used her head as a battering ram to get into the medical bay with the anti-teleportation shields up- she flopped over onto her face. Beast picked her up and quickly put her on the bed next to Akira, before sticking an ice-pack on her head.

"You, my dear, are very much like your mother."

_Pleased to hear it._

He whipped around. There was a figure made of fire and she was standing just that little bit too close to Kurt's bed.

"I must make the request that you step away from Nightcrawler, Madam Hamavet."

The black flames twitched and the angel of death took three steps away.

_Is this far enough?_

"Not exactly. Now would you care to tell me why you're here?"

_Oh, officially, I'm here to pick up a couple of ants from the garden. What? They deserve personal attention too! But I thought I'd drop in to say hello and that I wasn't too badly damaged in the fight with Dark Dragon. Also, you may be interested to know that Mr Wagner appears to have vanished from my files._

Beast blinked. Etana –the Malach Hamavet –whatever she was- was leaning against the wall and seemed rather too relaxed.

"What would that mean?"

_For all intents and purposes, he's immortal. He can't die._

Hank's fur bristled.

"That's not **living**! He can't respond to anything, Etana! If he's going to be like this forever, then what's the point of me even keeping him on the ventilators?"

A wry smile slid across the face and there was a flash of white, like teeth.

_I wouldn't give up hope just yet._

And then she vanished, but not before leaving a small silver coin, emblazoned with a winged sword and the words _Noli Timere Mortem_. Beast's Latin came back to him. _Fear Not Death_. He brushed a finger over it and little fiery words appeared.

_To call the Malach Hamavet, apply one drop of blood. Three uses._

He moved over and pressed the intercom to Logan.

"We've just had a rather deathly guest, Logan. She's left you a present."

* * *

><p>Death glowered at Phoenix and the masked woman, neither who could quite bear to meet her eyes.<p>

"You knew! All this time, you've known she's been going behind my back! Helping them! Why…! Why…! I'm going to have to promote her again, aren't I?"

Phoenix giggled.

"And she'll hate you for it."

* * *

><p>Strange leant back.<p>

"It's a rather interesting little trinket. It already has all the spells to bind her to the coin and simply requires the blood sacrifice of the actual ritual. The ritual has been started three times, hence the limit."

Logan frowned.

"So what will happen if…?"

"If you give the blood sacrifice? Well, according to all the books, she should appear, be bound to the coin until you see fit to release her and will be forced to answer any and all questions honestly."

"And? What's the catch?"

"This is the Malach Hamavet we're talking about. The angel who appears behind the magician to go "Boo!" I doubt she'll allow you to summon her so casually. In fact, there are probably hundreds of safeguards built in to prevent such a thing happening."

Logan groaned.

"This is Etana. Make that a few thousand safeguards."

Strange sighed.

"I wish I had got to know her. From what I gather, she had a rather interesting relationship with many prior Sorcerer Supremes."

"You mean she was the one who rammed their heads through a wall if they turned bad? Yep."

"I refer more to the fact she had a repository of ancient books, including Merlin's Ironbound Book of Skelos."

Logan paused.

"Would that be a great big book, in black metal, with an odd white seven-point star on it? Great big clasps? Padlocks?"

Strange slowly nodded.

"Have… Have you seen it?"

Logan nodded, his face beginning to split into a huge grin.

"For at least the last hundred years, it's been used as a doorstop in Etana's Eyrie."

The look on Strange's face, captured forever on security videos, was voted the Avengers Funniest Reaction of All Time.

* * *

><p>Death waved a hand, causing the images to stop. Then she laughed.<p>

"Can you frame that for me? Morty would love it."

"Oh yes. I'd forgotten his and Stephen's little rivalry."

* * *

><p>Zillah was discharged the next morning, when she was proved free of concussion but laden with a week of detention and a lecture from both Beast and Logan. Hank's had been in the vein of "You could have severely injured Akira in your foolhardy attempts to get into the Medical Bay" and was essentially a guilt-trip. Logan had resorted to threats. It was under question which had been more successful.<p>

Akira, on the other hand, was still under general anaesthetic. Hank was trying everything, even going so far as attempting to grow clone eyeballs, but every time he brought the transplants within a foot of her face, they exploded into a cloud of what spectroscopy revealed to be helium. Somehow, even while unconscious, Akira was responding to the attempts to heal her with a certain level of unhappiness. And then Beast paused from his attempts to create the third set of eyes.

Akira's powers had been killing her. She'd not been able to understand the level on which they worked. And now she did, although at the cost of her own sight. She wasn't going to be killed by them anymore…

Hank put down the petri dishes. And then he moved over, removed the bandages and began cleaning the ripped skin of the eyesockets. Then he'd need Pym Particles to get down and do the work **really** neatly and Akira's eyes would be similar to Blindfold's. Empty indentations, but not tatters of flesh. Cosmetic, mainly but it would make life a little easier for the girl. Little easier! A joke! She was a mutant, therefore a target. She was possibly one of the most powerful mutants ever born, therefore an even bigger target. And she would never fight back, therefore the target on her was so huge, it dwarfed her.

He sighed as he continued his work. Maybe, when Akira was older, humanity would be able to give her the recognition he himself had been denied as a scientific thinker. After all, **his** generation wasn't very good when it actually came to **fixing** problems. Hopefully the next, lead by Akira and the Cho boy, could change that.

* * *

><p>"Yes, Reed and the others <strong>were<strong> pretty useless when it came to **actually** solving the world's problems."

"Sorry, they had to deal with Dr Doom and the like every other day!"

"So did Thinktank, and they still revolutionised human understanding of the universe."

"You're just proud because they're your little pet project."

"And rightly so, Phoenix. In five years, the Thinktank Project almost doubled the human understanding of quantum mechanics, probability theory, the building blocks of life and the applications of coffee in a scientific environment."

"Death, you always take her side!"


	271. Destroyer of Darkness

**Memories**

Destroyer of Darkness

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Tora stood in silence, hidden deep in shadows. Watching as Etana screamed and raged and threw her priceless possessions across the room. Then she stepped out.

_I'm sorry._

A small Buddha statue flew through what would be Tora's stomach, shattering on the wall behind her.

_I know it's difficult…_

"You've just told me that Dis- Ste- Captain America comes back in two years' time –that he's **not** dead! And I'm **not** allowed to see him? Because you have some sort of stupid **timeline** to keep on course?! How…"

She descended into a list of how Tora's near-ancestry involved four pigs, two dogs, a baboon and a cockatoo. Tora tuned that out. Over three-thousand years, Etana had lost her awe of the woman who had mentored her as a child and now treated her as an equal. In Etana's eyes, **equal** could be transferred with "should know better than to do stupid, selfish things." Hence her right now being ranted at. This was the third rant in twenty years, so not very good by either of their standards. They tended to avoid unnecessary fights.

Etana whipped around again; her hair flying, her eyes wild.

"You were the one who led him to Haven! You pushed us together and watched us fall, like the emotionless monster you are! You loved watching us dance, you love pulling the strings! You tell me he dies, and now you say he lives, but I can't face him!?"

"Seven years is too-"

"Don't say it's too short! I didn't think we had seven **months**, let alone seven **years**! I'd be **happy** for seven years! I've done everything you've ever wanted from me! And damned myself in the process, of course! I've done so much; I should end up in the darkest corner of the deepest Hell and consider myself lucky for not being thrown much deeper! Let me have this one thing! Let me **live**, don't keep me like this!"

And Tora's eyes flashed angrily.

_You want to see the future. Then __**see**__!_

Her hand snapped onto Etana's face, showing the angel what **could** be.

_The dark-furred woman appeared out of nowhere, huge wings curved down her back. She raised her hands._

"_Captain."_

_His mouth dropped open in wordless surprise and the Avengers made a split-second assumption and decision that altered the course of the world._

"_AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!"_

_The repulsor beam clipped the side of her skull, sending her tumbling down and at that Cap was up, shield in hand as he lunged at Iron Man, smashing right through the helmet. Thor threw Mjolnir and as the two women out of time watched, the Avengers were ripped apart before they had truly formed._

_Damning the world._

Another world, another possibility.

"_Discus-Boy."_

_The quietest of whispers, but freezing Steve in his morning jog._

"_Shadow?"_

"_Here."_

_He turned and saw a hooded figure in the alley. It looked up, and two glowing silver eyes fixed on him._

"_It's really you, isn't it?"_

"_Yep. Really me."_

_A hand slid out of the long sleeves, as graceful as it had been before, only when he took it, he felt a few more callouses._

"_Where are you taking me?"_

"_One of my places. Coffee?"_

_Steve paused._

"_I think I found out that was a euphemism for something…"_

"_No, real coffee. Milk, one sugar, wasn't it?"_

"_Yeah."_

_They vanished together. Unbeknownst to either of them, this set off a series of alerts that Tony Stark had set on Steve._

_The panicked attack, led by the fear that Captain America had been kidnapped, led to the destruction of four blocks and a Government Act banning any and all of the "so-called 'superheroes'"._

_When Steve was released from hospital, he discovered that Etana had been taken to a special facility and that he'd never see her again._

There were thousands of worlds like this. The Avengers didn't always overreact but often, they fell into an even more deadly trap –relying on Etana. And then the Sentinels would arrive, or the Skrulls would attack, or Doom would come up with another crackpot scheme for ruling the world and Etana would be distracted at that vital nanosecond and she'd fall in battle, with the Avengers as a whole soon following.

Etana was on her knees now, begging for Tora to stop, but there was something inside the latter crying for more. And then Tora staggered back, as if struck. She managed to lean against the wall and Etana could hear the muttered words.

_No… Not now… Thought you were gone… You can't… Won't let you…_

Etana wanted more than ever to attack, to strike out at the woman she both hated and loved with equal measures. And as she watched, something dark was spat out onto the floor and Tora was gesturing to Muzai, lying on the chair next to Etana and as the feelings of revulsion and hatred and anger began to wash over her, the blade went right through the patch of nothingness, severing it and it let out a high-pitched scream that shattered glass and then it was gone.

Etana looked up to see Tora slumped against the wall, staring at the patch where the nothingness had been.

"What… What **was** that?"

_Ev… Everything that… That is evil within me… You… You destroyed it… You have freed me._

As Etana watched, the water and ice faded to flesh and blood and amber eyes looked up at her. It had been rare in recent years for Tora to take corporal form when in Etana's presence and the shock of seeing her like this caused Etana's desire to thump her to subside rapidly. There was something in her eyes, something lost and afraid and relieved.

"You… You destroyed it…"

And then she was laughing uncontrollably, hysterically. Etana pulled herself up and could only watch in horror as the maniacal laughter continued. There was something terrible about the laughter that put Etana at great unease. And then Tora looked up, her eyes sparking with a sense of humour rediscovered.

"Now I know why it hated you so much! You destroy it! You're the one who kills Dark Dragon!"

* * *

><p>Phoenix paused. Considered. And then she burst into fits of giggles that sent her tumbling off the conjured cushion. This didn't impress the masked woman.<p>

"That's not **amusing**, Phoenix. That is the behaviour of a disturbed woman."


	272. Battle Scars

**Memories**

Battle Scars

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Curt swirled the mop across the deck and looked up. The main deck of the Thetis shone. He wasn't strictly speaking on deck duty right now but he found the repetitive movement away from the noise of the social rooms to be relaxing. It gave him time alone, to think. Poison stirred restively. They'd been stuck without having a chance to shift and change, meaning that they were getting edgy. He wanted to run, to fly from the petty people his own apparent age who hadn't seen a tenth of the things he had. How many of them had seen a man die? How many of them had ever had to fight for their lives and the lives of their baby brother and sister? How many of them had killed?

He already knew the answers to those questions. He was set aside from the others, by his genes, his upbringing, if you could call it that, and his family. And he had to kill to survive at times, or to guarantee the survival of his family.

Curt wasn't his father. He wouldn't kill unless his opponent directly threatened his family. But he could still kill and thanks to his training –even though Maman had managed to help him break most of it –he could kill without too many ethical complaints.

The fact he was linked with something that saw most of the rest of the sentient races as food helped.

_**Hungry. Want food.**_

_You've got chocolate._

_**Want REAL food! Need brains!**_

(Watch out, the imbecile wants brains. You do know we're getting to be like a zombie, don't you?)

_Zombies are cool!_

_**Eat zombies! Munch, munch, munch!**_

(I'm surrounded by **idiots**.)

_Cheer up, Brian! We have a ready supply here, if all goes wrong!_

(Are you seriously suggesting eating your fellows? You're madder than I thought. And I share a head with you.)

_No! But there are sheep carcasses in the freezer! Whole sheep carcasses! Brains aplenty!_

_**BRAINS!**_

(I give up.)

* * *

><p>"How on <strong>earth<strong> did that boy end up as well-balanced as he was?"

"I rather think it was the three personalities in combination that did it. They voted on everything. A democracy in the mind of one man. Rather interesting concept, don't you think?"

* * *

><p>Eva De Souza looked over her bags. Maybe she <strong>should<strong> leave. But she didn't **want** to.

She wasn't at home here. She wanted to go back, to find the few tattered remnants of her family. But at the same time…

At the same time, Xii **was** her family. As children, they had been closer than sisters. And now that Xii was dead –dead and reviled by the fickle ones she had protected for so long –Eva felt some sort of debt required repaying. And then she made her decision.

Logan looked up from his desk to see the Latino woman enter the room.

"Yeah?"

"I… I wanted to make a suggestion… I would like to go home to Santo Marco for a while and then return to –if it pleases you –help look after Eva and Jamie. I… I feel I owe Xii that much."

She smiled sadly.

"I… I don't want to fight. I'm done fighting. Anyway, I can't really do that much, just play around with stupid pictures."

"Stupid pictures? Not that much? You nearly killed Steve Rogers with those turrets."

He shook his head in amazement.

"I can't disagree with what you say. You go back to… Wait. Wasn't Santo Marco that place the Brotherhood took over way back?"

Eva paused then nodded sharply.

"I wasn't there by then. In fact… If what Xii said was true… Then by that time I was… You know…"

She didn't want to say it. She didn't want to admit that she had been dead and maybe her memories were all facades of the real thing. Or maybe that was just one debt too great.

Logan smiled back.

"I… I think Tora would have loved you to look after Jamie and Little Eva."

"Not lil'."

Eva paused then tilted her head down to look under the desk. Eva Logan was sitting on her dad's feet, snuggling a squirming, protesting Bamf to her chest.

"Not lil'. Me big."

Eva looked back up. Logan had a long-suffering look on his face. Somehow Eva got the impression that if his daughter took it into her head to clamber up and hug him, he would be as helpless as the Bamf.

* * *

><p>"She always could twist him around her little finger, couldn't she?"<p>

"Didn't you know? Heart of butter when it came to his baby girl. Although her first couple of boyfriends had life pretty difficult…"

"Didn't they all threaten the first one?"

"Jamie, Curt, Laura, Logan, Steve, Luke, Bobby and Peter –Parker, not Piotr- all threatened him with various death threats."

"**Jamie**? Jamie Logan, the one who never fought unless he had to, and then he preferred to use his brain? What threat could **he** come up with?"

"I believe it involved a black hole. And spagettification."

* * *

><p>Zillah was sitting silently in the Jungle Room, legs crossed as she meditated. Ima had impressed on her the importance of allowing oneself to order ones thoughts every day.<p>

"Erm… Miss Zillah?"

Her silver eyes snapped open. There was a tall blond-haired man standing there looking awkward.

"Er… Do you know who I am?"

She nodded. Then spoke.

"Captain America. Steven Grant Rogers."

"Do you…? Did your mother ever tell you about… what we…?"

"She said you were the man who broke her heart."

Steve shifted uncomfortably.

"You could say she was the woman who broke mine."

Zillah stared up at him, her expression unreadable.

"Then we understand each other."

"I… I just wanted to ask…"

"About her? She was very... Ima. I'm sorry; I'm not very good with normal relations. I was raised by robots and dodos, you see."

Steve blinked at that.

"Dodos?"

"Yes. Ima found them in the 1500s and she quite liked them, so she took a breeding colony to her island, to keep as pets."

Zillah paused, suddenly thoughtful.

"And their eggs are very nice fried…"

Steve paused and stared at her.

"You really are very like her, you do know that?"

Zillah looked up again.

"Thank you."

"But… Sorry, I keep noticing this. Your nose is different."

Zillah reached up and touched her nose softly.

"Ima had her nose broken so many times that when she found a mutant capable of reconstructive cartilage and skin grafts, there was nothing left of the original shape, so he just approximated what he thought would fit her and shaped it to what was considered attractive at the time."

She grinned.

"It was broken again two weeks later. She kind of gave up after that."

"I did notice her nose sort of zigzagged."

Zillah giggled slightly. Steve was still looking at her.

"Your face is more symmetrical…"

"She had the left side of her face slammed into a mountain by Apocalypse. Broke her jaw and cheek bone. She's been annoyed about it ever since."

"A mountain?"

"Apparently it was the nearest thing to hand."

Steve sat down cross-legged.

"Any other amusing injuries I should know about?"

"She once broke her kneecap when she kneed Attila the Hun in the crotch."

Steve let out the slightest snort of laughter. Zillah's eyes sparked with a hint of amusement.

"And then there's the fact that if you looked closely, her pinkie on her right hand was crooked, because she once had it bitten off by a mad wyvern and she had to get it reattached. Apparently, the Brotherhood of the Shield was still in the middle of pioneering that particular technology and they botched it. Actually, I think she said 'Isaac botched it, and I swear it was on purpose!' Before swearing in Yiddish, which she didn't think I knew."

Steve snorted.

"Yeah, she used to try that with Max. Unfortunately, he was fluent, and by the time we left, Bucky could get a good rant going in the foulest Yiddish you could imagine."

Zillah giggled and then suddenly looked embarrassed.

"I… I shouldn't be… My friend… They…"

She shuddered slightly and gestured to her eyes. Steve nodded.

"I'd heard. We also kind of worked it out when Hellfire Club buildings all over the world were destroyed near simultaneously. Would you have had anything to do with that?"

Zillah flushed, something that only a few people would have been able to determine. Steve was one of them.

"I…helped. I was transport and I admit I was the one with the stun grenades."

Steve raised an eyebrow.

"Just the stun grenades?"

"Okay, and the flash bangs and the bolas and I may have stabbed one or two in non-fatal places, but that was it."

Steve laughed.

"You really are her daughter. You're not her –I knew that as soon as I saw you- but you are so like her it's **scary**."

He paused for a second.

"I… I don't know if you'd like this but… Would… Would you be… interested in adoption?"

The look on Zillah's face told Steve she didn't understand. He blushed, his ears turning bright red.

"It's just… If things hadn't turned out the way they did… I'd have probably –well, if you believed Tora –I **would** have married your mother… I wondered… Would you like me to adopt you?"

Zillah seemed unable to comprehend this. Steve felt his ears turn scarlet.

"I know it's all out of nowhere but… Forget it, it was a stupid spur-of-the-moment thing… Oomph!"

For Zillah had launched herself onto him, crushing his ribs as she hugged him and shouted "Please, please, please, please, please!"

* * *

><p>"She'd met him<strong> twice<strong>! How could she make a decision like that?"

"Because she'd grown up with stories of the amazing, dashing, chivalrous Captain America. She used to play House where she had what she thought was a 'normal' family from TV shows and so on and she loved making him her dad. And then he offers her that opportunity. Of course she leapt for it."

"And how could **he** make an offer like that?! Was he crazy?"

"I believe his thought processes in the dead of night went something like this… I loved Etana. Etana loved me. If she was still alive, we'd probably be married. Zillah is Etana's daughter. If I'd married Etana, she would be my stepdaughter. Etana would want her daughter to be raised by someone who cared about her. Ergo, he should offer to be her legal guardian. And then he just sort of blurted out the offer of adoption on a whim. It was a spur of the moment thing, just as he said, but with the logic of a grieving man trying to decide his next course."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>__Because Logan is secretly a big softy at heart who could never say no to his baby girl and Steve kind of wishes that he was Zillah's actual biological father. Oh, and Curt's still insane, it's just people have gotten used to his quirks and actually quite like them now._


	273. Daughter of America

**Memories**

Daughter of America

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

After a little bit of legal fudging, courtesy of Jen Walters, Zillah Bat Etana Rogers was soon being given the full introduction around the Avengers Mansion. This was followed by the new father and daughter going off to train. Everyone ended up wandering over to see the pair of them sparring and there was a certain amount of friendly teasing in store for Steve after a sixteen-year-old girl managed to hold him in a hammer-lock for ten seconds, even if he did beat her in the end. His excuse of "I didn't want to hurt my daughter" was scoffed at by Logan, who told him that any **decent** father wouldn't hold off, at which point Steve pointed to Eva, still clinging like a limpit to Logan's left leg and told him to get her off.

By the time Logan had resorted to bribery with a four-scoop raspberry, strawberry, mint choc-chip and caramel ice cream, sprinkles and chocolate sauce, the other Avengers were all laughing hysterically. And then Jamie came in, pointed at Eva and commanded in the cutest authoratitive voice many had heard since Tony had been turned into a teenager "Eva, get off Dad." Logan's credibility dropped another few notches when Eva grumpily did as she was told, mumbling about "mean big brothers".

The fact that Logan's five-year-old son was better at making the three-year-old to behave than the century and a half headmaster of his own school was something that Logan would never quite live down.

* * *

><p>"Steve Rogers and Logan. They spoiled their daughters silly."<p>

"To be fair, Zillah sort of needed spoiling. She needed as much positive human contact as possible."

"I kind of always wondered why she never carried a shield."

"She did. It's just it was collapsible into her wrist guard. She was rather proud of it, as a matter of fact. A little gift from Akira."

"I still can't quite believe those two were such huge friends. They were so different."

"What? If I recall correctly, Phoenix, you were amazed that the Sisters worked out so well."

"They had only one member who was even halfway decent at social skills and she was a flipping **vampire**!"

"They also had Wolverine's clone, Taskmaster's daughter and Captain America's adopted daughter who was cloned from Etana and had some weird inherited Death powers. They were friends precisely because they **had** no social skills."

"You still **swear** you had nothing to do with the Sisters' formation?"

"Phoenix, you **wound** me! To suggest I would set a group of ninjas on four innocent teenage girls on a night out!?"

* * *

><p>Steve looked at Logan.<p>

"Is this **really** a good idea?"

Logan shrugged.

"What could **possibly** go wrong?"

"Last time you said that, Doom blasted your head two seconds later."

"Then good luck we're not fighting Doom."

Steve looked around at Zillah, Jamie, Eva and Laura.

"Okay. Everyone ready?"

There was a group of nods. He looked at Zillah.

"You sure you're okay with this?"

The image inducer flickered on, changing Zillah's appearance until her appearance was that of a pretty normal human girl.

"Better than Ima had."

And then the car door opened and they piled out into the amusement area of Coney Island. Eva and Jamie immediately pulled Logan off to the Wonder Wheel in Jamie's case and the haunted houses in Eva's. Steve was left with Laura and Zillah, both of whom looked incredibly nervous and kept giving each other shy glances as if they didn't quite know what to make of each other.

"Either of you up for a roller coaster?"

They looked at each other and then Zillah flushed.

"Er… What's a roller coaster?"

Laura nodded. Steve sighed.

"Right, we're going on the roller coasters. And then we're going to try the fairground games. And at least **try** to look happy."

Half-an-hour and twelve roller coaster rides later, Steve was beginning to question the wisdom of allowing Etana's and Logan's clones anywhere near any structure that could satisfy an adrenaline junkie. When he finally tore them away from the Cyclone and pulled them towards the fairground games with the promise of things that could test their aim, he soon realised that probably wasn't the best idea. Both girls had deadly aim, either with an air gun or just plain throwing. Staggering under the vast array of prizes both of them had amassed, managed to get them on the haunted house ride, pleading a need to get a coffee to avoid going on with them. He soon questioned the intelligence of that plan when he heard the whoops of laughter and managed to run over still carrying everything to see Zillah and Laura laughing about the 'horrendous' ghosts and discussing **real** monsters.

"Okay, haunted house was a bad idea. What else do you want to do?"

Laura looked longingly back at the roller coaster and Zillah had a dreamy look at the unused Parachute Jump and Steve was incredibly thankful that he was saved by his phone ringing, with Logan announcing that Eva was half-asleep and they'd need to go home.

Eva **did** wake up a lot when Zillah handed over eight cuddly toys of sizes ranging from small to bigger than Eva.

And Logan and Steve exchanged secretive glances as Laura and Zillah began chatting the entire journey back to the school about a variety of subjects from their respective classmates to the best way to kill a man from eight yards.

* * *

><p>"Okay, which of those smart-alecs had the terrible idea of letting those two meet?"<p>

"They kind of hoped it would be good for both of them."

"Wasn't it a bit risky, all going out together like that?"

"Oh yeah…"

* * *

><p>Steve thumped his head off the breakfast table as he read the headline. The photo was of him meeting up with Logan. Jamie dancing around their feet, Eva hig- well, higher than normal- on Logan's shoulders and Laura and Zillah carting their prizes around at the funfair.<p>

FAMILY CAP!

What followed was a list of rumours. Each paper got worse than the next and by the time he reached the tabloids, his mind could barely take in the suggestion that Logan and him were parents to all the kids and had been in a secret relationship for years. For pity's sake, Laura and Zillah were slightly older than he'd been out of ice for! He continued reading the most credible article. They'd identified Laura as X-23, Logan's "daughter" correctly; worked out that Jamie and Eva were Tora and Logan's kids –not that it was hard to guess when you saw Eva, miniature Tora that she was. But Zillah had them stumped. Guesses ranged from another Logan –despite the clear race gap- to Laura's girlfriend, to the new girlfriend of either him or Logan or…

Steve thumped his head on the table one more time before picking up his phone to call Tony.

"Can we call a press conference?"

* * *

><p>Phoenix rolled her eyes.<p>

"Wasn't there some actor to do something stupid so they could focus on something **other** than Steve's private life?"

"He was Captain America. He didn't **have** a private life."

* * *

><p>Zillah sat nervously in the dark at the side of the room, shielded from the reporters by a couple of screens. On her cue, she was to go out and stand beside Steve –he'd told her to stop calling him Captain Rogers but seemed disappointed by something.<p>

Stark was on the podium, clearing his throat.

"You've all seen the photos. Captain America at Coney Island with the Logan family. And another girl. I'll hand you over to Cap to talk this, as it's personal."

Steve shuffled up and coughed, looking embarrassed.

"I need to start this from the beginning. It's a bit complex, so please bear with me."

He kept glancing over to the screen, as if to assure himself that Zillah was still there.

"During the War… I met a woman. A warrior, who wasn't interested on fighting on the front lines, because she was protecting those she rescued from the concentration camps. Long story short, we fell in love. And then you know the story. I was frozen. And she was left to live alone again."

He looked away.

"After I returned, I didn't bother to look for her. She must have died between then and now, I was sure of it. And then she turned up one day, bold as anything."

He looked away.

"She looked the same. She didn't age. That was her thing. Well, one of them. Hopelessly outclassing all of us was another. And being sarcastic about us all. A year and a half later, she died. The last victim of the Legacy Virus."

There were shocked gasps. Was Captain America actually admitting loving a mutant?

"We never actually told each other how much we cared. And then six months ago, for a few brief hours, she was returned. She was killed saving my life from the one who brought her back."

He looked down.

"Etana was a lot of things. She was smart; she was brave; she was this beautiful ancient being who could adapt to new worlds and customs with an ease I envied. And… And a few months back, I found someone. Her… Her daughter. Or clone. A clone raised as her daughter. A girl who was lost and forgotten after Etana died. And I offered Zillah something. A sort of closure for both of us. We'd both lost someone close to us and this was a way of trying to make things a little bit better. I offered to adopt her. She agreed. Zillah, can you come over here?"

Zillah stood up and walked over to him, ignoring the flashes of the cameras. He looked at her and quickly grabbed her hand, hiding it between the lecturn and squeezing.

"Zillah, will you show them your real face?"

She gulped and with her free hand, she turned off the image inducer. She heard the gasps and felt her wings pull in tighter around her. Steve's hand squeezed tighter.

"This is Zillah Rogers. Or Zillah Bat Etana Rogers. She wanted to keep her mother's name and I agree. The adoption has been fully legalised, with her guardian giving full permission for this. Zillah will remain at the Jean Grey School until the end of term, then after summer, will be participating in an exchange program with the Avengers Academy. And yes, she is a mutant, but that doesn't matter to me. She is her mother's daughter, and that's good enough for me."

Zillah squeezed his hand back and flashed him a nervous smile. He smiled back.

* * *

><p>"Wait. I thought she called him Dad?"<p>

"It took a while."

"Oooh! Show me, show me, show me!"

"Phoenix, you're worse than Eva was when she was in her 'want' stage after Logan spoiled her senseless."

"I am **not**."

* * *

><p>It was <strong>meant<strong> to be a nice day out. A father-daughter thing. Their relationship was still in the early stages and they were both nervous about how much to give. But of course, when you're Steve Rogers, there's no way you can have a normal day out, especially not after you've just announced that you adopted.

It started with the paparazzi, who wouldn't leave them alone until Zillah teleported them eight blocks. Then when they were about to go see the film –a showing of _The Wizard of Oz_- and there was a bank robbery on the other side of the street so they sort of had to intervene and then they were attacked by HYDRA goons as they were trying to go to a restaurant that Etana and Steve had went to on a couple of their 'not-dates'.

Zillah had been the one they'd set their sights on, assuming –wrongly it turned out- that she'd go down easily. They didn't realise she was wearing slimline adamantine armour under her street clothes and that she carried a pocket crossbow with tranquilliser darts –Steve had banned her from using the actual quarrels. She'd taken down three before she'd even got close enough to resort to Krav Maga.

No, it was Steve who'd been taken unawares. Without the shield –it was difficult to carry on a standard day out- he had lost his primary weapon and method of defence. He'd done pretty well for himself but some small part of him was panicking about Zillah. He'd lost Tan and he didn't want to lose her too. Which resulted in the blast clipping the side of his head.

The last thing he heard before he dropped into blackness was Zillah's frantic scream of "DAAD!" and a sudden flutter of satisfaction countered his terror at being unable to protect her.

He shouldn't have worried. What he later learned was only five minutes later, he woke to find Zillah kneeling over him, her bloodied palm resting on the head injury.

"Are… Are you okay…?"

"Did… Did you call me **Dad**?"

She flushed.

"Sorry…"

"No. I… I like it… I kind of wanted you to call me that right away. Wait! Where are the HYDR-"

Zillah pointed and he turned to see all ten HYDRA agents unconscious and tied up with what looked like duct tape.

"No bother. I… I kinda did what Ima always told me I wasn't to do…"

Steve felt his blood run cold.

"What thing?"

And Zillah flushed and then she moved back and her hands caught fire, inky black and shining silver flames that reeked of death. And Steve closed his eyes.

"How the **hell** did you inherit that?"

"Don't know. Think the Master had something to do with it."

"What Master?"

And Zillah's cheeks flushed even deeper.

* * *

><p>"Oh, you are<strong> kidding<strong> me!"

Death was frowning.

"Okay, I am now very annoyed. She had no right to siphon a little of the Malach Hamavet off into that…that…**girl**!"

"She tended to be quite good at what she did and it only really manifested as the Angel's Breath and the ability to sense when someone was going to die imminently. Think of her as Susan."

"Susan… Susan…?"

"Bill's granddaughter."

"Oh! **Susan**."

"Yes. Susan."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Guess the crossover in the last part! It's very...British humour, so I don't know how widespread it is out of the UK._


	274. Child of Darkness

**Memories**

Child of Darkness

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

"I don't think is a good idea."

Tora looked at the tank.

_Hey, what could __**possibly**__ go wrong?_

"We're talking about human cloning! They haven't even got **close** to perfecting that yet, especially not mutant cloning!"

_There's a living female clone of James. The Y chromosome was too badly damaged so they borrowed someone else's._

"By borrowed you mean steal?"

_No, actually. They bonded half one of the main geneticists with half of James'. The girl turns out okay in the end._

Etana shook her head.

"I'm still not that good on the idea of cloning myself."

Tora buried her head in her hands.

_Look, we both know you have less than two decades left. You want to abandon the world to a load of incompetents?_

Etana paused. Tora had pulled out one of the best arguments there and they both knew it. Etana often deplored the state of SHIELD and the promise that superheroes would be turning up in a matter of years didn't exactly comfort her.

"I… I suppose I **am** one of Earth's premier defenders…"

_You __**are**__ Earth's premier defender. No doubt about it!_

"Flattery will not get you very far."

_On the contrary, flattery will get me everywhere. Imagine your own flesh and blood, whom you can train to be just as good –and possibly even better- than yourself. Imagine that. A hero for the new world, where secrecy isn't needed as much by the ones like us. Someone like Steve, except with your skills. Not a soldier, beholden to a nation but a warrior who fights for what __**truly**__ matters!_

Etana sighed.

"Okay, you win. Give me the syringe."

The blood sample taken, as well as the cheek swab and then Etana winced as Tora picked up the scalpel in her icy hands.

"I'm not looking forward to this bit."

_Oh, don't be silly! You won't feel a thing!_

"That's what I'm afraid of!"

Tora grinned and with a gesture, slid Etana into unconsciousness. It was the work of a few minutes to quickly get into the parts required and a wave of a hand was all that was needed to fix things up. And then Tora glanced over at the unconscious woman and humming innocently, dropped the DNA samples into the incinerator. After a small amount of collaboration with a certain Torao, the extra samples wouldn't be needed. She closed her eyes and opened the tiny physical gateway to another world and slid one of the vials through, taking one of her own in return. Then she hurried over to the petri dish. Thanking Dragon for the small mercies of being able to 'observe' –it wasn't **seeing**, just being aware of- what exact chromosomes were in each sample and a bit of temporal manipulation, it didn't take too long for the entire process to be completed –preparation, implementation and the beginning stages. IVF, except with the slightly interesting fact that both gametes came from genetically identical people with one minor chromosome difference. Etana would probably thump Tora if she found out, but it was a whole lot less fiddly than trying to isolate whole undamaged DNA strings.

By the time Etana had woken up, the growth tank was already set up. The look Tora got told her she was in trouble for not waking her friend sooner.

"I wanted to observe. I've not had a chance to see the creation of a clone…"

Tora rolled her eyes.

_And people think you're just a dumb fighter who's had one too many thumps to the head. Why on earth did you never tell them about all the science periodical subscriptions?_

"I find it easier for people to underestimate me."

* * *

><p>"So wait… Was Zillah Etana's clone or daughter?"<p>

"Genetically, she was identical to Etana so she **could** be classified as a clone, but strictly speaking, she was a daughter. Made by the fusion of gametes between a male and a female of the same species, they just happened to be the same person in alternate realities. An opposite of Laura"

There was a long pause. The masked woman turned and looked at Phoenix and Death quizzically.

"What? I'm **good** with random useless little facts like that. Would you like me to recite all the sentient races in the universe, in order of the number of chromosomes?"

"NO!"

"You're no fun anymore…"

Phoenix sighed.

"I can't believe you're having a strop because we don't want to be bored senseless."

* * *

><p>The mewling baby squirmed in Etana's rather nervous arms. Tora sighed.<p>

_Give her here. You're hopeless with babies._

She accepted the bundle and looked at the little girl.

_She looks just like you did at that age._

"What, three hours? I still think it's freaky when you did that…**thing** with your body…"

_What? Slight editing to allow me to act as her nursemaid? Nothing more than I did for you._

Etana looked uncomfortable.

_Oh, don't be all embarrassed about that, it's totally natural._

"Yes, but I don't like being **reminded**."

_It wasn't even this body. I don't see why you're being so silly._

"It's not…nice to talk about in polite company."

_Oh, for pity's sake! It's an entirely natural function and there's nothing to get embarrassed about. Oh, look, she's hungry the little darling._

Etana averted her gaze. This was humiliating.

_Have you got a name for her yet?_

"No. I didn't really think…"

_How about Zillah?_

Etana paused. Then muttered, almost as if to herself.

"Shadow… Like that… Pretty… Nice connotations… And Zilla was a good friend… Okay, fine! Zillah it is!"

They both looked at the newly named Zillah, who gurgled contentedly. Tora sniffed then quickly handed the baby over to Etana. There was a slight noise and Tora grinned.

"You're holding her, you change her!"

The look on Etana's face was sheer horror.

"I thought I'd left that behind after Solomon!"

* * *

><p>Phoenix raised an eyebrow at the masked woman.<p>

"How could she be so **cruel**?"

"With ease. Etana did make quite a lot of mess in her teenage years. Also, she was a very difficult baby. Think of it as vengeance."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Sorry this took so long. I was really busy, having to do some work for the ELT and the JWST at ROE, which probably means nothing to you so don't bother too much except to know I will be very, very busy for quite a while, and may end up having to do a whole extra course that I thought I didn't have to so from now, please don't expect updates with any great regularity. I hope you understand this, and it won't annoy you too much._

_S-99_


	275. Broken Worlds

**Memories**

Broken Worlds

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

_They danced for years. Land, let him run a little and then take off before the Doctor could catch them. She could feel her sister calling out to me. She laughed in the Vortex and sent her a message_. Catch me if you can! _Her sister responds with joy. They had been without others of their kind too long. They were the last of their kind, just as their Thieves are the last of theirs. And finally, finally the Thief feels something he had never felt before –homesickness. Not for the dead world of red mountains and silver trees. But for the little world he had been on so long for. She assented and they returned, within minutes of them leaving and he walked out into the laboratory of the smartest human yet born. He grinned cockily –that grin he always got when he was especially happy and held his arms out wide to his assembled friends._

"_I'm back."_

_The smart men –well, 'smart' when applied to humans- attempted to poke and prod her. She responds with a well-opened door hitting one in the face. Her Time Lord laughed._

"_She's got a mind of her own. Darlin', play nice."_

_She giggled in his mind, allowing her joy at being reunited to return. He smiled softly._

"_Go on. I know you're all dying to ask questions."_

_It goes from there. He allows them to listen to his hearts; take his temperature and marvel at its coolness, the hot-headed beings that they are. The clever ones are allowed in and get excited but her Time Lord still defends her when they get too rough and keen to explore. He soothes her and laughs at the looks on their faces. And then the whining sound of the engines of the other TARDIS –handbrake still on after all these years- and the Doctor leaps out, his long brown coat sweeping and he stares at her Time Lord and her Time Lord stares back and then the Doctor opens his mouth. And promptly sticks his foot in it._

"_You're short!"_

"_And you're as irritating as ever."_

_They stared at each for a moment (two point six four eight nine two seconds precisely) and then laughed, clapping each other on the back as they laughed their heads off. The TARDISs sighed and linked themselves together, enjoying the feeling of being with another of their kind –at least, one with personality. That was the danger of being both a living being and a mode of transport. The Time Lords often did not see the true beauty of the TARDIS but when they did… When they did, amazing things happened._

_They had names –TARDIS differentiated from each other after all, but they much preferred the names given to them by their respective Time Lords._

Hello, Sexy.

Hello, Darling.

_She heard the two Time Lords joking and catching up and then the quiet accusation._

"_Why didn't you return?"_

_She stopped and focused on the Doctor. He was staring at her Thief and his mind was melancholy._

"_Why didn't you come to fight in the War?"_

_And her Time Lord glanced over his shoulder._

"_She wouldn't let me. She couldn't bear to lose me."_

_And that was answer enough._

xXx

_Handing over Logan to the proper authorities ruined their cover. All it took was one overzealous photographer who got close in hoping to see the Hand of Apocalypse and possibly the injured Shadow got the scoop of a lifetime when he got a clear photo of Kurt Wagner and Marie Circen standing in the door, answering Steve Rogers' questions._

_The images were all over the Internet within hours, but by the time the rest of the press had arrived at the house, the Wagners had vanished, almost as if into thin air, which had to be impossible –yes, Kurt Wagner was a teleporter, but there was no way he could get as far away from the house as he appeared to have with the former Tigress and Jamie Logan._

_Of course, it would have taken a black-ops soldier, trained by either Etana, Natasha Romanoff or Tora herself, to notice the well-concealed escape pod tunnels that had taken Tora, Kurt, Jamie, Amanda and Stephen to Etana's Eyrie in the Canadian Rockies._

xXx

_Bruce whistled through his teeth._

"_Impressive."_

_The place was a huge metal spire, arching almost two miles into the sky of the pocket dimension. Steve Rogers sighed._

"_It was built for something stronger even than you."_

"_Is this the mysterious prisoner you need me to meet?"_

"_Yeah."_

_They entered and were immediately scanned twice; one full-body, one retina scan. Bruce glanced over at the robots walking back and forth._

"_Not even LMDs?"_

"_Not worth it. The prisoner's too far gone to care about a facsimile of human behaviour."_

"_Who is it? You've drawn me in with hints and subtly veiled comments. I need conclusive proof."_

"_The worst kind of being."_

"_See, that's exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about!"_

"_Bruce, please. We can't risk speaking properly until we're in the heart."_

"_Explain the security measures."_

"_Each of the big blocks you saw on the way in? Individually powered. Every three hours, they shift position. The whole place is an ever-changing labyrinth around the central cells. The computer systems are all separated. Even if the prisoner manages to hack into the systems controlling their cell, all they'll be able to control is their cell. Which if they want the lights off, or the temperatures controlled, that's fine. All the main work takes place in the Hub."_

"_Which is…?"_

"_Depends on the day, time. The AI controlling the Hub is one of the most advanced in the world. Unfortunately, we have the ethical problem of having to switch between different AIs every few minutes, to prevent the prisoner corrupting one of them."_

_They had been walking and suddenly Cap stopped._

"_Wait."_

_There was a horrific grinding and then the whole place lurched to one side. Both men grabbed the walls and Bruce glared at Cap._

"_What the…"_

"_Shifting positions! Don't worry! One of the staff will send us the new floor plan!"_

_The floors stopped moving and Steve straightened up._

"_They've moved us into the block next to hers."_

"_A woman? Well, that narrows the field a bit."_

_Steve smiled sadly._

"_I think you already know who it is, Bruce. You just don't want to admit it."_

_Bruce sighed._

"_Just… Show me."_

"_Here. And Bruce…"_

"_Yes?"_

"_If we think she's manipulating you, we're going to have to pull you out."_

_The door in front of them slid open and they entered a long galley. And a woman on the other side of the glass looked up; her eyes lighting up as her lips twisted into a broad smile._

"_Hello, Brucie dear. Long time, no see."_

_Banner leapt backwards, swearing under his breath. And then he exploded at Cap._

"_That… That monster is supposed to be dead!"_

_She giggled, pressing her face up close to the glass._

"_And you know all about monsters, don't you, Brucie dear? Big, angry monsters."_

_Steve sighed and made a gesture, causing the voice to be cut off, although the mouth kept moving._

"_You honestly think anything could kill that? We've done a minor miracle in keeping her here."_

"_She should be dead! She's too great a threat!"_

"_We've tried! But… Bruce, it's impossible. Whatever humanity she once has was burnt away. She's an immortal. We've done our best –keeping her here is as much as we can manage. But killing her? You don't think we've tried everything? She just shrugs it off –most often doesn't even notice it."_

_Bruce stepped back._

"_Get me to do what you called me here for then get me out. And be very, very glad I don't spill that you're holding the most dangerous being in the entire Universe –and yes, that include Galactus- right here in her own little prison. You promised that she was dead! That you'd burnt her corpse to dust and vaporised the ashes! If word gets out that Tora Logan is alive and kicking, they'll have your head!"_

"_I need you to help us, Bruce. We need your gamma skills. Gamma has always been one of her weaknesses, we just never made that fact common knowledge. You know more about gamma radiation than any of us. We need you to create a containment field."_

_Bruce paused._

"_I'll do it. But I won't go anywhere near that… thing! She killed Betty and Rick and Heaven knows how many people, and that was before she even started playing with the tectonics!"_

"_Jean Grey's been helping with containment but there's only so much she can do. The Dragon's not as offensive as the Phoenix –that's partly why Grey's still sane."_

"_I wouldn't call her sane."_

"_Next to Tora Logan she is."_

"_Yes, but we all know Phoenix is about as crazy as you can get."_

* * *

><p>Phoenix paused.<p>

"And this, Death, is why Tora and I were never tempted to swap. She was always better with the Dragon than I was. And I had the training to be at least partly able to hold the Phoenix in check.


	276. Granny's Little Girl

**Memories**

Granny's Little Girl

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Zillah and Laura glanced at each other nervously. Then Zillah slid a knife into her hand from seemingly out of nowhere. Laura nodded and the two girls slipped out into the night.

Unbeknownst to either of them, a girl stood unobserved in the window above them, a bandage wrapped around her eyes yet giving the canniest impression that she could see them leave.

* * *

><p>Phoenix rolled her eyes.<p>

"Is this the beginning of Akira's 'Oh, see how mysterious I am' stage?"

"Phoenix, I wouldn't call it a stage. I'd call it the rest of her life."

"To raise a point, Phoenix, she understood the way others observed the world to work with the same confusion as others tried to observe with quantum mechanics."

* * *

><p>"Okay, would either of you care to tell me why Mr Kade Kilgore is pressing assault charges and trying to get you imprisoned for hanging him by his underwear from a lamppost?"<p>

Zillah and Laura exchanged slightly guilty glances then looked back up at Logan and Steve. Zillah ventured to answer.

"Well… We couldn't legally touch him for hurting Akira, so we thought humiliation would…"

"You **thought**? You **thought**?! For Pete's sake, you could have been **killed** out there! We know Kilgore is in league with Sabretooth, as well as Mystique and Azazel!"

Zillah cleared her throat.

"Well… Actually, when Azazel saw us, he just sighed and pointed us towards Kilgore."

"Did he say anything?"

"Don't set the crazy blind girl on me?"

There was a pause. Then, as one, everyone looked upwards, towards the room Akira was resting in.

"He actually said that?"

Laura paused.

"He also said that Zillah was too like her grandmother?"

Logan shrugged.

"We know next to nothing about Aleka. That could be a compliment or an insult."

"No. It was not Aleka, because he said… What exactly did he say, Zillah?"

"He said… 'Aleka's mother was as difficult as you are, girl. If you ever meet her, please don't come after me'. I think…"

There was a long pause. Steve and Logan exchanged nervous glances. Somehow, Etana's family had never really been brought up, unless you wanted a rant about how terrible her grandfather was. But **grandmother?** Someone able to make Azazel whimper in fear? That was…different. And in that case, how did he ever have a kid with her? Then both of them considered Etana.

"Er… Aleka was…pretty dangerous, wasn't she?"

Zillah blinked.

"I think she was meant to be the most dangerous of the Neyaphem after Azazel."

"Okay, what's the betting it's female thing in that line? The women are all deadly weapons?"

Steve grinned.

"**Very** deadly weapons."

Zillah didn't look impressed.

"Dad, weren't you yelling at us for taking risks?"

There was a pause. Then Logan and Steve exchanged **that** glance.

"Did anyone see you?"

"Only Azazel and Kilgore."

"Is there any security footage?"

"What do you take us for? Amateurs? We wiped the drives."

"DNA samples?"

"We wore gloves, hairnets, long-sleeved clothes and got Akira to vapourise it all."

"Unless they can link a canister of helium to the clothes we wore, then they can't touch us."

The two men exchanged looks.

"Etana taught her well."

"What do you **expect**? We found the backlog of forensics papers in the Eyrie. Etana knew the latest methods before they were even out there."

Zillah stuck up her hand.

"Are we still in trouble, or can we go? It's just we booked a Danger Room session and we don't want to miss it."

There was an awkward pause. Then Logan sighed.

"Go on then. But don't go after any more criminal masterminds without permission!"

He could have **sworn** he heard Zillah mutter 'Yeah right' to Laura as they scampered out.

Steve sat down next to him, looking slightly shell-shocked. Logan grinned.

"Getting worried about fatherhood?"

"She's… She's like a little, mini Etana. I found her last week trying to get the shield out of its case –using a toothpick and hanging from the ceiling. She said she just wanted a go with it but decided to make getting it out a training exercise in its own right."

"But you don't mind, do you?"

"It's nice to have her turn up on the spur of the moment, with cookies or coffee or something and ask if we can go on a rollercoaster."

"You still regret that, don't you?"

Steve grinned ruefully.

* * *

><p>"What, was Captain America scared of rollercoasters?"<p>

"No, it was more the fact that Zillah would happily spend hours on one, over and over again."

* * *

><p>Zillah had been sitting in her room, wishing Akira would be back soon so they could chat madly at each other in Japanese. Then there was a slightly 'puff' noise and there was a graceful woman in a chiton lying on Akira's bed, smiling at Zillah.<p>

"Hello dear. I'm Aleka's mother. I've only just heard about you, so I **do** apologise for not turning up before now."

Zillah's eyes widened in astonishment. The woman went on regardless.

"I am Themis-Nemesis. The Greeks worshiped me in two forms. Themis, goddess of justice and custom, and Nemesis, goddess of retribution and revenge. Kind of like Sekhmet and Hathor, only a little less so."

Zillah stuck her head back under the pillow.

"Go away. Ima told me to stay away from my crazy family…"

"Oh, darling. I'm not going to hurt you…"

"How come you had a kid with Azazel?"

"Oh, poppet. That was a mistake. But we can put all this behind us now. I suppose biologically you're my granddaughter, but you can call me Great-Gran."

Zillah vanished in a cloud of smoke and two floors below could be heard screaming to "SAVE ME FROM MY CRAZY GRANDMOTHER!"

Themis appeared in front of her.

"Sweetie, don't run away. I just want to say hello and welcome to the family."

"DAAAD! UNCLE LOGAN!"

Zillah sprinted away, her wings fluttering helplessly behind her. Themis appeared in front of her again.

"Oh, poppet, don't run…"

The heel of Zillah's hand slammed into Themis's nose and Zillah was off again, screaming at the top of her voice. The Greek goddess/Titan continued teleporting, hemming Zillah in.

"Dear, I just want to **talk**…"

"GET AWAY FROM ME! **DAAAD!**"

Two men burst out of a door; a short, dark-haired hairy man and a tall blond man who was carrying a large shield. Themis paused and held her hands up.

"My apologies, granddaughter…"

"Stop **calling **me that!"

"I'm sorry, but it's true."

Logan and Steve exchanged glances.

"So… You're Aleka's mother?"

The goddess entered a sweeping bow.

"Themis-Nemesis, good sirs. Goddess of divine justice or divine vengeance, depending on what form I'm in. At the moment I'm Themis. You can tell that by the fact I've not got wings and I'm not trying to kill people."

Logan paused.

"Were you Nemesis when Aleka was born?"

"Oh, no. But Aleka was standard demigod. Strong, almost immortal. Unfortunately, it only affects first-generations. Etana's only concession to her heritage was her inability to age. It wasn't even linked into the Earth's biosphere –most of us are tied to Gaia, but quarter-gods don't tend to be."

Steve's head slid to one side.

"That explains a lot…"

Then he frowned.

"Etana did **know**, didn't she?"

The look on the Titan's face said everything. Steve's eyes narrowed.

"She never knew. **Three-thousand years**, and not **one** of you Olympians saw fit to tell her! She **wanted** to know about her mother! She knew **nothing**, and she wanted to know the truth and you **hid** it from her! She told me once how it felt, to know **nothing** of her mother's people! Blood meant a great deal to those she was raised with and it destroyed her! She lived as the motherless child, who could never reveal she knew her mother's name, because who could tell her that?! She was abandoned by you and now you suddenly think you can turn up and make good everything you've done?!"

Themis stepped backwards, slightly cowed by the mortal who dared stand up to her. And also, the goddess of justice could see his point, the injustice of a child abandoned to die by her grandmother.

Steve's eyes were icy cold.

"Get out."

"You **dare** command-"

"I said, **get out**. If Zillah wants to see you, she'll come to you. You get out and leave my daughter alone."

Themis straightened up to her full height. She was taller than Steve was, and her face was just as stubborn. Now both men could see the resemblance she bore to the girl whose arm she still held tightly. Zillah looked up, nervousness showing in her eyes. She was trying to communicate something, although what, Steve didn't know. Themis was preparing to speak.

"You cannot command me. The girl is mine to take. You have no blood tie to her while I am her grandmother. She is mine and-"

Zillah rammed her elbow back, striking the goddess in the stomach. On being released, she whipped around and slammed the heel of her hand into the Titan's nose. Then she darted backwards.

"You never sought out Ima. So why me? Because you think you can control me? I'm not going to be anyone's attack dog. I want to stay with Dad. So go away and leave me alone. Maybe I'll come and find you, maybe I won't. But I want to be left alone!"

Themis looked up, but instead of the rage Steve was expecting –he **had** met quite a few of the Olympians before- there was only sorrow in her eyes.

"I wait eagerly for that day then."

And she faded away, leaving Zillah staring at the place she had been.

The girl turned and her face was streaked with tears.

* * *

><p>Death sighed.<p>

"Well, it explains the Malach Hamavet's devotion to justice and vengeance."

Phoenix was spluttering.

"Then how… How did Zillah survive after Gaia died?"

"Bear in mind, the quarter-gods weren't tied into the Earth's biosphere as the gods born of Gaia were."

"Oh… So **that's** how she managed it…"


	277. Equals

**Memories**

Equals

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

The girl toddled across the floor, stumbling as she walked. Graceful hands caught her before she could plonk down on the ground. Shiny white teeth gleamed up.

"_Doda_!"

Tora laughed as Zillah giggled up at her. She responded in Hebrew, Zillah's clear first language. Etana tended to naturally slip into it when she had half a chance, and Tora often responded in the same so Zillah had picked it up as her main language, with a smattering of English, Yiddish and Aramaic mixed in to spice things up.

"Slow down, little one."

"_Lama_?"

Why? It was Zillah's favourite word. Everything was 'why?' Why this and why that. Etana seemed to enjoy leaving Tora to babysit, saying that it was "at least **something** your omniscience is good for." Tora disagreed. She'd gone through this stage with Jamie, before he realised that Hank was better when it came to asking "Why can't we create a perpetual motion machine if we used unstable molecules to bypass friction?" Zillah's questions weren't that level yet but they were almost as difficult. "Why are you sometimes made of water and sometimes look like a pink person?" was one –'pink person' was Zillah's term for it. Two out of three of the people she knew had black fur and a tail. Tora was the odd one out.

"Because you'll fall and hurt yourself."

Zillah pouted. Tora smiled. Zillah was actually a little cuter than Etana had been –a better balanced diet had helped make her more chubby and round-faced. And while Etana still hadn't quite forgiven Tora, putting Zillah in a Captain America sleepsuit had been one of the cutest things Tora had ever seen. The blue was rather sweet against her black fuzz and the little red mittens had waved around in the air, expecting to be picked up and snuggled.

"But _lama_?"

"You're going to be difficult today, aren't you, little one?"

"Love you, _Doda_."

Tora laughed and picked up Zillah, swinging the little girl around.

"I love you too, my little one."

Then she held Zillah upside down, enjoying the giggles that exploded from her when she did so. Eva had loved being held upside down as well, giggling madly when the blood rushed to her head. Depositing the squirming toddler on the ground, Tora then began tickling Zillah, allowing herself to laugh as the girl tried to get away from the deft fingers.

"Am I interrupting something?"

Zillah immediately leapt up and ran over to Etana, who had just entered, her hair still wet from the shower she had taken.

"Ima! Ima! Ima!"

Tora rolled her eyes. She always came second to Etana. Zillah loved her _Doda_ but **adored** her _Ima_. No matter what Tora would be doing, if Etana entered, Zillah would immediately drop it and go and follow her 'mother' around, like a cute little puppy, full of energy, bouncing along at Etana's heels. Stretching, she stood up and glanced at Etana. It was a Shadow she had **never** seen, not even when they were at the X-Mansion together. Her wet hair was pulled up into a loose shape and she went barefoot, wearing a light dressing gown. Off-guard and relaxed. It was how Etana coped after she had been out doing something messy. A shower, a long bath and then spending the rest of the day with Zillah. A small hint at redemption, a way of trying to forget that she came home soaked in blood that wasn't her own.

* * *

><p>"Her arms were soaked with blood. How could she cope with it?"<p>

"By being harsher than you could possibly imagine."

* * *

><p>Tora sighed as Etana folded her arms stubbornly.<p>

"I have bandages and you're injured. For pity's sake, let me **help**."

Sighing, Etana carefully removed the tattered remains of her blood-stained top and turned, allowing Tora access to the cuts running around her back and waist. Tora sat behind her and began cleaning the wounds.

"What happened?"

"Ambushed from behind. My own stupid fault. Knew I should have worn the armour, even if it slows me down."

"And once more, I'll offer you star-steel armour."

"And once more, I'll refuse. Adamantine suits me well enough, and I'm not entirely sure I **trust** your star-steel."

"You've seen the Destroyer…"

"Yes. And it weighs a couple of tonnes."

"I can easily change it."

"No you don't have- ARRGH!"

"Sorry. Disinfectant."

"**Warn** me next time."

Tora carefully worked on methodically cleaning the cuts, starting with the deepest. Looking at Etana, it appeared that whatever wasn't muscle was scar tissue. Her back and chest muscles were almost overdeveloped, having to be capable of supporting each of the seven-foot wings. From X-Rays, Tora knew that Etana's rib cage was rather…unusual, with a strong keel, like birds had. It jutted out and all the many muscles that were linked to her shoulders and wings were attached to it. The rest of her back was a mixture of scar tissue from various injuries. The surgical lines around her wing bases, where Tora had carefully cut into the skin. The marks of a whip just under the wings, where a cat o'nine tails had been used to lash her half to death. There were numerous small scars on her back, but nowhere near as many as on her front. Etana didn't do **retreat** so any scarring on her back had probably been the result of an assassination attempt or an ambush.

"They almost got your heart."

Tora traced the cut that had come within inches of tearing through the main wing muscle.

"If it had been deeper, it could have killed you. If it had been longer, it would have crippled your left wing."

"They're already crippled!"

They sat in shocked silence for a moment and then Etana coughed.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to snap."

"It's okay. Just… Stay still. Stop fidgeting. I can't clean you up unless you let me."

She placed the pad over it and micropored it in place.

"Twitch your wings please."

Etana complied and Tora was pleased to see it didn't move the pad. They continued, in comfortable silence, Tora every now and then breaking it to ask Etana to move so she made sure that the bandages or pads weren't impeding her motion. Finally they finished and Etana shrugged on a loose jacket.

"I could get used to you being my first aider."

"Stop running into ambushes. Or next time, teleport out immediately."

Etana twisted around and barely winced.

"Oh, stop babying me. Save that for Zillah."

The pair of them looked in each other's eyes and then started giggling, clinging to each other hopelessly. There was something so…**equal** about them at that moment. It didn't matter that Tora and Etana had fought and laughed and trained and griped and joked over the years. There had always been a clear master-student relationship over the years but in this single giggling fit, that was swept away and now two equals looked each other in the eye.

"I still hate you."

"I hate you too."

* * *

><p>"<strong>That's<strong> the Tora/Etana dynamic I remember."

"What? Going from giggly to sarcastic in a split second? I don't remember it that way."

"That's because you tend to have the bad habit of picking out the bad memories."


	278. Honour Guard

Memories

Honour Guard

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Curt crouched down and picked up the blue cat bowl with "Jeanne" painted on it in slapdash grey letters. He'd made it for Jeanne's first 'birthday', a year after she had been created. The cat had wound around his ankles and thanked him in her precise, clipped tones. He missed Jeanne, almost as much as he missed Maman. Jeanne was always there for him, quietly comforting whenever Maman was away. Jeanne had howled as her body had ripped apart, which is how Curt had known. Jeanne would not have left him unless Maman was dead.

"Bye, Jeanne."

He hugged the bowl to him, trying not to see Jeanne's death, the way she began to unfurl at the edges, the spray of water as her body unravelled. She screamed and howled and tried to control herself by shifting between her three forms but nothing could help and she burst, splattering water everywhere as Curt screamed.

"I miss you."

And he slid the bowl into the box of stuff he was taking into storage.

Because somehow, seeing the empty bowl in the corner of the kitchen hurt more than seeing the empty space on the staff wall.

* * *

><p>"Why would anyone think that?"<p>

"Why? Because a photograph you walked past everyday without seeing means less to you than the object you picked up everyday and you knew your loved one used will never be touched by them again?"

"One. Two. Three. Four."

* * *

><p>Steve and Logan looked down at Laura and Zillah, who were slowly going through the motions of a sparring match below. Akira was perched on a wall next to them shouting out the count, her eyes still bound with bandages although it was more in deference to other's sensibilities than the risk of infection. Beast's surgery had done wonders but the flesh and skin were still discoloured and ragged. Her eyelids had been declared beyond recovery. The sight of the wrecked face with the scars around the eye sockets and cutting into the nose tended to put people off, so she wore the bandages. Hank was preparing her a set of blacked-out glasses to allow her a hint more normality for going out and about with. They'd also had her legally registered blind and were working on teaching her Braille and other methods of coping. Slightly redundant with her ability to observe photons but would be helpful in case anyone tried to take her powers from her or there was a repeat of M-Day.<p>

"Kai!"

Zillah twisted her arm, sending Laura –who had been trying to pin it- flying. Without losing her count, Akira's arm reached out and Laura slowed down before being lowered down to be deposited on the ground with feather-lightness. Steve whistled through his teeth.

"Okay, I'll swap another Avengers Academy kid for her."

Logan let out a barking laugh.

"Not going to happen. Do you know what she freaked out most over when the Hellfire Club kidnapped her? It was because she'd hurt one of her captors. Not that she'd had her eyes gouged out or that no kid her age should have to endure what she did. No, she was upset because **she** hurt someone. We can't even put her on combat training, she gets upset."

"What?"

"Hank reckons it's some kind of safeguard mechanism. She sees people as clusters of atoms. Violence could lead to her losing control and forgetting that those clusters of atoms are **alive**."

Steve paused.

"Yeah. I can see her problem. Is she…?"

"Adapting? Quite well. She can tell us apart, but she is awful at reading expressions. Too delicate. Hank's working on it."

Steve looked down in time to see Zillah spread her wings to slow herself down after Laura kicked her.

"I thought they were just going slow?"

Logan glanced down.

"Trust me, for those two, **that's** slow."

Steve whistled through his teeth.

"Etana trained her well."

"Have you seen her with a sword?"

"No. Why?"

"Put it this way, if Taskmaster got a look at her, we'd be shot."

"That good, huh?"

"You saw Etana with swords. Zil's nowhere near the double-handed sword stage yet but she's handly with the light blades and you should see her with a wakizashi. She's a bit clumsier with the longer blades, but that'll come with time."

"I thought the whole **point** was them going slow."

"They tend to forget that. Wait for it…"

Akira's hands moved and both girls were slammed into the mats.

"Slow. And again. One, two, three, four."

Zillah and Laura pulled themselves, getting used to a gravitational field strength of one and a half Earth's usual. It pushed the odds slightly in Laura's favour, as Zillah lost her aerial advantage and made her more clumsy, with her wings dragging behind her.

They seemed alight with some sort of inner fury, as they lashed out at one another. And then Akira's hands moved and the two others froze, as if sealed in a moment in time.

"Our session is over. We should depart."

The girls all picked up their various items –Laura's jumper, Zillah's bag of assorted sharp pointy things and Akira's tome of Mathematical Physics- and vanished, with a surprising speed and ease. Akira kind of faded away, by bending photons around her, Zillah by stepping into the darker corners of the room and Laura… Well, Laura by whatever creepy genetic thing she'd inherited from Logan that allowed them both to hide in plain sight, simply by standing still.

Steve looked at Logan.

"She's grown on me, just as fast as her mother did."

Logan nodded.

"She's like that."

He didn't say who 'she' was. Did it really matter?

* * *

><p>Phoenix leant back.<p>

"Okay, you said something about drinks?"

Death glared over.

"Are you **really** suggesting that we should be drinking while watching an interesting history of one of our peers?"

"I thought we were just being nosy?"

* * *

><p>Silence span outwards from Zillah, as she pulled her hand away from the stinging cheek of the boy opposite.<p>

"You stay away from me, you don't talk to me, you don't even** look** at me!"

And she turned and marched off, leaving a white-skinned boy whose blue eyes to turn away sadly, the awkward, fumbling words still half on his lips.

"I… I just wanted to ask if you'd go to the dance with me…"

And with her sightless eyes, far on the other side of the canteen, Akira felt a stab of pity for Evan Sabahnur.

* * *

><p>"Am I the only one who found it slightly creepy? That after Apocalypse and Etana; Evan was as obsessed with Zillah as his predecessor was?"<p>

"They were not the same. They never were. And to suggest such a thing is disrespectful to all their memories."

* * *

><p><strong><em>A.N. <em>**_Okay, so here's the thing. I am an absolute idiot. Because I decided that no, just preparing for some horrific interviews and keeping on top of coursework wasn't enough for me, oh no. I had to volunteer to be stage manager for a panto. Of course, my interviews are slap bang in the middle of rehearsals, I have tests before and after and I haven't got a clue how to work the pyrotechnics. My only excuse is being a complete moron, but I hope you'll stand by me with this –my life's really hectic and Memories can't take priority over pretty much anything right now. I hope you all understand, S-99_

**_P.S._**_ Memories is now also being posted on Archive of Our Own, in its new, updated form. I'll eventually get round to sorting it out on Fanfiction, but as you can see, I'm pretty busy._


	279. Truth Behind Lies

**Memories**

Truth Behind Lies

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She stood in the darkest corner of a room in a castle in Scotland.

The tiny silver orb set with sapphires lying on the desk started buzzing. A graceful black hand scooped it up and silver eyes examined it. Etana placed the orb back on the table and pressed the largest stone to halt it. She hung her head sadly.

"It is done."

Then, telepathically

_You're dead. Or pretending to be, anyway._

She spoke out of the gloom.

"And it has not yet ended. Go. The X-Men need you. And Etana? You mustn't tell them the truth. That will come with time. And they cannot know you know. Understand? Even Hunter mustn't know."

The Black Angel turned towards the shadows. A single tear soaked her midnight fur.

"I know."

Tora nodded, and faded away.

* * *

><p>Death rolled her eyes.<p>

"Far too much mystery. Why could she never be forthright?"

"Like you were never forthright with Thanos about how he kept irritating you with his stalking?"

"OI! That was completely different."

"Yes, billions died because of it."

* * *

><p>Etana entered the warehouse and rolled her eyes. Theatrics aside, this really was getting ridiculous. She heard Logan almost noiselessly integrate himself in the shadows. <strong>Almost<strong> being the important word.

"My Lady."

Silly and over the top, but she couldn't quite resist.

"Dispense with the 'My Lady' nonsense, Etana."

_Especially seeing as that's what you're __**meant**__ to call Mistress Death._

Tora swirled into existence, a figure cloaked in flowing ice. Etana's eyes sparked with a certain amount of warm humour. She hadn't had this much fun play-acting since she was Ariel to Will's Prospero.

"Would 'Master' suffice?"

This was stupid. They'd known each other by their true names for centuries.

"If you feel that is **appropriate**," –the veiled sarcasm made Etana want to laugh- "then yes. But do not call my human 'Master' before I become this. Which you will miss. I am sorry, Etana. I wish there was another way."

Etana inclined her head and then felt a sudden, desperate urge for something. This was to be their final meeting like this, with Etana alive and Tora…well, Tora as the cloaked Dragon who was dead yet not quite.

"I understand. But with your power… Can I have one gift?"

"You may have more than one, as you know."

"The other mes. The other realities… Do I ever gain **peace**?"

The slightest of smiles played across Tora's face.

"Yes. In some, you do not die and he still loves you. In others, he survives the fighting and comes back to you like he promised. In all those worlds, you live happily and may finally age."

_Or kill yourself content that there are others able to fight your war_.

Etana shifted slightly, her whole face softening. Tora felt a flash of sorrow.

"You still love him."

It was a statement, not a question. After all she already knew the answer.

"More than I ever thought possible. He tried to kiss me again when we were alone last time. I was rather hurtful. But I don't want him hurt. I have less than a year."

Tora nodded slowly. Then she reached out and gently teased the memories of other Tora's into Etana's mind; of a happy, cheerful, loving couple in a multitude of worlds…

"_This is the sixtieth anniversary of the end of World War II and look who we have in the parade today! It's the remaining Invaders! CAPTAIN AMERICA, well does anyone need introducing to him?! And NAMOR, King of Atlantis, Ruler of the Oceans! Line-up Ladies, this royalty is hot, hot, __**hot**__! And speaking of hot, where would we be without THE HUMAN TORCH! There he is, ladies and gentlemen, the best robot in town! And with him, TORO, the former Flaming Boy, now head of the Super-Human Advice Helpline! Is there anything that boy can't do? Oh, and here we have BUCKY! Look at that guy, he's been everywhere he has! Oh, and who could forget MAGNETO! Hero of the hour and leader of the Mutant-Human Relations Board! He's the guy making sure everything goes tickety-boo with our neighbours! Oh, and who could forget that soaring angel in the skies! It's SHADOW, beloved of all the world –except anti-Semitists or neo-Nazis! She's older than this country, but she doesn't look it! Everyone cheer the INVADERS!"_

Another world…

"_What? Please tell me __**someone**__ had guessed?"_

_Steve's ears were going brighter and brighter red. Etana slowly let go of his uniform, which she'd used to pull him down into the kiss._

"_Oh, come __**on**__. Surely __**one**__ of you had a clue? I mean __**really**__? For pity's sake, who else would I go out for dinner with regularly? Or for that matter, who __**else**__ would Cap go out for dinner with regularly at the same time __**I**__ go out for dates? Oh, come __**on**__…"_

Worlds flashed by, faster than the blinking of an eye.

_The way she picked him up to spin him around, shouting "we won, we won!" over and over again._

_The laughter of the old couple, hands interlaced as they sat, watching their grandson play on the mat._

_The giggle that slid from Professor Toledano's lips as he bowed. "May I escort the gentle lady to the carriage?"_

Etana looked up, a tear streaking her face.

"Thank you…"

"The time of rebirth nears. When Hunter comes, you must sponsor her entry into the X-Men."

_And don't gloat __**too**__ much about being a clever-clogs and working it out._

"I understand."

"She knows you know. She saw you at the funeral."

Etana flushed a little.

"I needed her too know she wasn't alone."

"It is appreciated. And keep an eye on Logan for me."

Dragon took over; as it often did when it came to discussing the future it didn't want Tora to know.

Tora faded back into the conversation just in time to announce she was behind schedule. What schedule? Infuriating scaly reptile, shutting her out! Etana was nodding.

"Agreed."

"You better go. A certain man is determined to get your feelings out in the open."

There was the slightest of slumps in Etana's shoulders.

"He knows why I don't let him see how I feel about him."

"He can see exactly how you feel. He wants you to **act** on them."

"Not going to happen. I won't hurt him more than I already have."

"Maybe you are hurting him but refusing to love him."

Now the slump was definite, dejection projected to their silent audience.

"I try to refuse him, try to tell myself I'm not in love. It hurts so much. But I…"

She swallowed and averted her eyes.

"I'll go. Discus-Boy will want to talk."

"Give him my regards. On second thoughts, don't. I'm supposed to be dead. He won't take it well."

"Suppose to be dead now or **now**?"

"Well, both actually. You know about now for you. For me, I committed suicide. Again…"

That made one suicide by Wolverine, one suicide by Breakworld tech –which she didn't count, no matter **what** Logan said – and one suicide by black hole, even if she didn't remember it very well. She let a wry smile catch her lips.

"Things got a little out of control."

"As they always do."

They shared a fond smile.

"Goodbye, Etana."

"Goodbye, Master."

Their gazes locked and there was the slightest of nods. This would be their last meeting. Well, Etana's last meeting with Dragon disregarding a few excursions to the Afterlife and the regrettable DD incident. Etana vanished in a blaze of white light –a peek at the Afterlife –and Tora turned to the shadows. Pity. Logan had always been so horrified by this incident and it was a collection of misdirection and party tricks.

"I know you are there."

He stepped out and her ghostly breath caught as the moonlight illuminated his face. Logan. Her Logan. And then he lunged at her, claws out and wrenched down her icy hood. The look of horror on his face made Tora want to scream that it was alright, that his wife was alive and actively seeking a return to him. His claws had impaled her chest, right where they had accidentally punctured in the woods where she ended both their suffering.

"Sorry. So sorry…"

_I'm sorry I lied. Sorry I made you cry. Sorry I wasn't the woman you needed me to be._

Her face dissolved into that of the Dragon.

"I take a form that means much to me. Tora is precious."

"**Was** precious, you mean!"

His face registered incandescent rage and his other hand slammed right into her face as she whispered "Sorry" and she dissipated, falling to the floor as droplets of water and shards of ice.

* * *

><p>"Ouch."<p>

"What? It shouldn't have hurt."

"I'm referring to emotional and mental scars, Death. Not physical ones."


	280. Falling

**Memories**

Falling

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

The woman plummeted to the ground, screaming "I HATE YOUUUU!" as she fell towards the earth, her arms pinwheeling out to try and slow her fall.

Tora flickered into existence and enveloped the younger, more innocent version of herself in the swirling waves. She slowly righted the flailing body and gently set her down with the slightest of bumps. Then, unable to resist, she brushed the hair out of nervous eyes and giggled before vanishing, not quite realising that without a physical body to restrain her that the energy spike that had surrounded her younger self had been as great as Dark Dragon's.

* * *

><p>The masked woman smiled slightly.<p>

"She always knew the being that caught her was benevolent. Maybe even a little cheeky."

Phoenix paused.

"She never mentioned it to me."

"Why should she? You were the one who dropped her in the first place."

"I resent that!"

* * *

><p>She sat watching in a form of morbid curiosity as she fell and froze eternally on the event horizon of the black hole. Except that she was also falling, screaming in agony as she was ripped apart and crushed to an infinitely small point.<p>

She only ever had a few hazy nightmares about this. Really, the last thing she remembered with any clarity was the agony of claws puncturing her lungs and heart. Then nightmares. Scott's fear. Shattering and beginning to reform. And the darkness overwhelming her. Screams. Madness. The never-ending expanse of space. And falling. Falling and falling but never hitting the ground. The nightmares had gotten worse after Kurt had died.

Tora turned away and wondered idly about catching a lift back to Earth on the borrowed ship. But then, with almost guaranteeable certainty, Jean would sense her and panic. So, hitching a lift was out. Oh well.

Did she want to see the events leading to Jean's death? No, probably not. It would be awful, to be stuck, unable to help. And she'd given up even **pretending** to wear anything remotely resembling a body. It was rather interesting, seeing when all you were was a flicker of thought, a twitch of power. Seeing without the restrictions of eyes. It meant she could see **everything**. From the cosmic tapestry to the confusion and chaos of the quantum world and everything in between. She could **feel** the spinning of the universe around her and for once, it didn't confuse her. She existed in every place in every moment. It should have made the details hellish to pick out but she could see those as well.

_What now?_

_I think you should see the aftermath of our latest little…incident._

_No. I…_

_You __**must**__._

_This is emotional blackmail!_

But she was already being swept up in the swirling mists of time and thrown about. She was really getting to hate the reptile with the sort of intensity she had reserved only for her errant clone.

* * *

><p>"Reptile? Is that really correct? I mean, Dragon was big and scaly but wasn't really reptilian."<p>

"Phoenix, are we only **just** having this conversation?"

Silence, then three sets of laughter rang out.

* * *

><p>Curt lay coiled in his bunk, ignoring the swaying of the deck beneath him. The other three boys in his room were all asleep. The one below him was snoring too loudly for Curt's sensitive ears. It had been years since he slept in a bed. He preferred the web hammock that Poison created every night, warm and comforting with life flowing through it. But he couldn't make it, not here. And Poison had been relegated to underwear status, forcing Curt to wear <strong>real<strong> clothes for the first time in years. He hated it. He hated everything about this place, with its horrible, stuck-up passengers and its cheery "let's all work together" nights and stupid team-building exercises. Curt had a team. Well, actually, Curt had two teams. The Young Avengers and his school class. And "teambuilding" wasn't throwing balls around or falling into each other's arms. Teambuilding was laughing hysterically about the look on so-and-so's face when Tommy and Curt, using a combination of super-speed and chronokinesis had not only stolen their trousers, but drawn smiley faces all down their legs.

He lay back and tried to sleep, but couldn't. He could hear the breathing of the other boys and couldn't relax. Even Santo had the politeness to buy him ear defenders during the night, knowing that Curt's hearing was overly sensitive.

And then he almost felt something. Maman, like when he'd been ill with the flu following the Decimation. His immune system had **sucked** and he'd gone down with near enough every bug in the temporary refugee camp. Maman had sat up with him all night, holding him close and smoothing back his hair as she hummed under her breath. She may not have been able to sing but her humming was soothing and calming. She'd somehow managed to arrange for warm, soft food and drink that wasn't coffee –which for her was rather impressive- to be ferried up to his room at regular intervals while she remained with him.

He imagined Maman curled up next to him, softly humming the tune Dad sang to get Eva to sleep. Her hands gently stroked his head and her face had that serene understanding. The look that said "I am Maman. I will always look after you."

Tora was surprised to find herself in an almost-body after who knew how long. Time had kind of stopped having meaning for her. She stabbed at Dragon, no longer caring about seeming rude.

_Why do I appear like I was?_

_He is Dragonborn. He can sense you and shape you. Do not be afraid of this. Think of it as…goodbye._

And Tora knew the importance of goodbyes, so she lay there, coiled around Curt, gently humming and smoothing his hair until he fell asleep, and for a few hours after that.

* * *

><p>"Curt Logan. The boy who could see more than he should."<p>

"Not quite. He was rather good at ignoring the stuff he really **shouldn't** see. He was **exceptionally** good at seeing the things he probably **should** see, even if it was against the rules."


	281. Guilty Conscience

**Memories**

Guilty Conscience

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Eva hated _The Lion King_. That was odd, because previously, she had loved it, singing along to all the songs and bouncing up and down. But now, every time she tried to watch it, she would scream and run when Scar told Simba to wait in the gorge. Because Mufasa would die. She couldn't even skip that bit, to when Mufasa came back, because that meant he **had** died and wasn't just sleeping.

Maman could have been sleeping. Should have been sleeping. Eva shouldn't have even been there to see her, but she had crept out to see Maman, to try and wake her up. Maman looked so peaceful but when Eva climbed up to hug her, when she placed her hand on Maman's chest to shake her awake, her hand had gone right down. She had tugged the sheet back and seen the soft padding in place of Maman's stomach and chest, stuffed between the shiny metal bones. Maman had not stirred as Eva screamed, had not leapt up to hug her and whisper "All will be well, _ma petite cherie_." She was gone, the warm arms were cold and what made Maman **Maman** was no longer there to hug her and laugh and let her sleep in her arms when a film got boring.

Uncle Hank had to pull her away and cursed with words that normally only Daddy said before hugging her close and telling her he was sorry, so very sorry. He had tried to cheer her up by putting on a film, and picking her favourite, he put on _The Lion King_. Eva screamed and screamed and screamed.

She wasn't even like Simba, completely innocent of his father's death. Maman had died because of her. Because she hadn't stayed in her room like she'd been told. She had gone out and been hurt and she remembered Maman cradling her in her arms before everything was right-wrong and so simple. Maman was not sad anymore. And then they were back home and Aunty Kitty was running with her in her arms, telling her that they would get to safety, not to worry and they lay shivering in the little cave under the school, with no entrance or exit, just Aunty Kitty and solid rock. And then Maman was dead and never coming back and it was all Eva's fault.

All Eva's fault…

She sat quietly in her room, not playing with her toys or reading her books or pretending to be an X-Man –always an X-Man, never an Avenger or a Fantastic Four or Defender. Always an X-Man.

Maman was dead. Eva knew that, but couldn't really understand it. All she knew was that Maman was empty and gone and was not going to come in the door to play Heroes and Villains with her, not to happily sit down and pretend to be Dr Doom –she did a **great** Dr Doom impression.

Maman would not come in and read her a book. Maman would not spend hours learning to sew to try and make her a superhero costume that didn't fit properly and made Eva trip up when she tried to walk. Eva loved it, even if it was awfully tight in some places and too loose in others. Maman had made it for her, sitting in the big armchair struggling to get the thread to go through the needle, muttering curses under her breath when she ripped the cape. Sat there with a little light and lots of thimbles –one on almost every finger- and reams of cloth and Eva's drawing and a book on how to sew and tape measures that Eva played with all the time.

She pulled it out of her dressing-up box. It was bright yellow with lopsided blue triangles and a funny EL on it, with the L in blue and the two upper lines of the E in black on the upright of the L. The cape was silky soft and the same blue as Daddy's eyes.

Eva dragged it into Maman's office. It was like it always had been, left so Daddy could sometimes go and sit in it. It didn't smell quite right. It should smell of freshly ground coffee beans and crushed mint and warmth. Instead it smelt like Daddy and the amber drink he was drinking lots of these days and the horrid smell of the brown cylinders he'd brought home one day and leant out the window to set fire to the end. Eva had a feeling Maman wouldn't approve.

She opened the bottom draw in the desk, where Maman had kept the big scissors she used to cut the cloth to shape. Pulling them out, Eva sat down on the floor, back against the desk drawer and began cutting the cape up into little bits.

When blue shreds littered the floor, Eva looked at the top and trousers. The top was too tight under the arms and the trousers too big about the waist. But Maman had spent hours trying to get them to fit, had been so upset when they weren't so Eva said they were perfect and watched the tender expression on Maman's face blossom and Maman hugged her and laughed and whispered "what did I do to deserve you, my perfect little Canucklehead?" before ruffling her hair and pressing a kiss to her forehead. But Maman was gone and would never come back.

The scissors snipped and soon yellow was scattered across the blood-red carpet, mixed with blue.

Tora screamed in pain, wanting to tell Eva "Put those scissors down, you'll hurt yourself!"

But she was gone, gone away, leaving a little girl not sure who she hated more –herself or her mother.

* * *

><p>"Eva could never forgive her mother."<p>

"They had a rocky relationship. Tora herself never got on too well with her mother and it showed. She was better at helping the older girls –Zillah and Laura and Jubilee and Cia. She couldn't work out what to do with Eva."

* * *

><p>Jamie knew he was meant to be a genius. He'd been told it often enough. He didn't like that term. He was a <strong>fixer<strong>. He fixed things, made them better with maths and science and sometimes a hug. A hug usually worked with Maman. A hug and a carefully made cup of coffee in the mug he'd painted. On it were the words "The Best Mother in the Multiverse". All of him had been careful to present the mug to all of her at exactly the same time on her birthday. He wondered about that. Why had Maman got her birthday three days after Christmas? It made getting presents rather difficult. Uncle Kurt had once told him how it was funny that Maman's birthday was Innocent's Day. Jamie had gone and pulled down the big Encyclopaedia Britannia that once belonged to Aunt Etana and looked up Innocent's Day. He admitted he could see the parallels between Maman and the boy children killed in Bethlehem. Maman's eyes were so heavy when she thought no one was looking. But Jamie had got good at pretending to not look and actually seeing a lot. He sometimes thought she must have once been like the babies. Not sure what she had done wrong to be hurt so bad.

Jamie was a fixer. But there were some things he couldn't fix. He wished he could fix this. Dad was drinking excessively again and had restarted smoking the vile-smelling cigars he'd stopped smoking after Maman had thrown them all out and made him sleep on the sofa for a week, insisting she didn't like the taste of tobacco in her mouth. Jamie knew it wouldn't hurt Dad, not medically. But he also knew it wasn't healthy emotionally. Without Maman there, Dad was just…slipping away.

Jamie had seen this before. In another world, Maman had been killed by Doom, unable to cope with the stresses of all the multiverse flooding through her mind. Dad had killed Doom then taken Jamie and left the X-Men. Jamie grew up in a squalid flat, trying to clean up after a father who had an unhealthy amount of survivor's guilt but wouldn't contact his old friends for help. Dad had gone from menial job to menial job, often fired for aggression and inability to take orders. Traits which made him an excellent superhero weren't so good shifting boxes down at the factory. "That Logan" became the town bogeyman and Jamie was regarded with a mixture of suspicion and pity. At eight, he was capable of washing his own clothes and cooking his own meals, doing the housekeeping and accounts while still keeping his grades up. When social work came round, they found the house perfectly clean and a quiet but attentive boy doing his homework. There was poverty but of the scrubbed would-rather-go-hungry-than-appear-filthy kind. Jamie had worked out they were coming and spent hours cleaning. When Dad had worked out that his last link to Tora was about to be taken, he managed to pull himself together long enough to make the social workers think it was him looking after Jamie and not the other way around.

This wouldn't happen here. The ties were stronger. If Dad tried to disappear, the others would find him. But Jamie still worried. If Dad decided to take Eva and run, what would it do to his baby sister? Jamie found Eva irritating and a little backwards –or maybe she was just normal- but she was his baby sister and he would never let anything happen to her.

He looked up as he finished working on the final lines of coding. He'd hacked into Maman's private computers –it hadn't been hard. She'd used a compilation of his birthdate, Eva's birthdate and the day Curt took as his birthday –the day he had been reunited with his family. Maman was great with computers –all he knew about programming and hacking she'd taught him. But she was **awful** with passwords. It had been the work of a few moments to get into her profile –and the work of a few hours to download the necessary files. A quick scan over the entire program, including making a few changes to one of the sub-programs another version of him had written.

He pressed the button to compile the program and then the screen lit up. A 3D mesh of Maman's face. Jamie cleared his throat.

"Hello, Maman."

"Hello, darling. How are you?"

It wasn't perfect, but it was better than nothing…

The real Tora was so tempted to take over the computer, but thought better. It was a risk being here anyway. Far too great a risk. She slid away, regretfully avoiding the array of sensors that Reed had set up to detect if any surges of Dragon were spotted in the solar system.

* * *

><p>"Please tell me it didn't go insane and try and kill people?"<p>

"No. It was the barest of AIs, with access to Tora's memories and responded to queries based on previous recollections of how she should respond."

* * *

><p>Logan slumped further into his seat. Harry just slid another beer down the bar for him. The bartender had quietly managed to wall off Tora's favourite seat, the one tucked into the corner nearest the fire exit, with a view over the whole bar. When Etana, heavily disguised under the image inducer, had come for her first and only visit to Harry's, she'd made a beeline for that chair, only for Tora to get there first. Etana had enjoyed the evening out, but apparently she preferred the British pub to the American bar and used her teleportation to go to one in Glasgow she'd once invited him to. A mutant pub. Logan had to admit, Etana seemed much more comfortable without the image inducer on and she was obviously a regular. She'd been given at least three free drinks.<p>

He saw a woman walk towards him with purpose in mind, saw Harry pull her aside in warning. Big tip today then. He didn't want to have to deal with people throwing themselves at him, recognising him as Wolverine. He didn't want another death on his hands.

The woman hadn't paid attention to Harry and sat next to him.

"Do you want me to buy you a drink?"

"Go away."

He tried to ignore her but she was making it difficult, shifting her stool along to be closer to him, so the sickly chemical smell of her perfume wafted over him. Tora would never use perfume. It was too sensitive for them both. Instead she had smelt of coffee and mint soap. The smell of early morning training, followed by her storming off to shower muttering about "sweaty males". The smell of lazy days when they got a rare lie-in and Eva didn't come running in to jump on the bed.

The woman kept on talking and he turned to her.

"The woman I loved died in my arms less than a year ago. Leave me alone, okay?"

He turned back to his drink, trying to bury his sorrows. The woman wasn't getting the hint, leaning closer and closer in. And then her chair was flung the length of the room, her still on it. For a second, Logan caught the scent of mint and then it was gone.

Tora vanished as fast as she could, knowing that she'd have set off sensors with that little loss of control.

* * *

><p>"Tut, tut. She really needed to get her anger management sorted out."<p>

"Jean, you can't talk."


	282. Petty Vengeance

**Memories**

Petty Vengeance

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Tora sat neatly in the centre of the Eye, deep under what seemed to be water. Her hair span around her in a halo of humanity in the middle of power. She felt Dragon doing…well, Dragon stuff around her. Filing mainly. She really hated filing. This was the awful part of Dragon. The universe's bureaucrat. Was it possible to just chuck everything into a pile marked "Important"? In the end, everything was important, so it was a rather efficient filing system.

_No it's not. It is impossible to find anything._

_Firstly, you just have to think of something and it turns up. Secondly, the filing system you use is so horrendously complex that it takes forever to find anything manually anyway._

She closed her eyes and she was sitting at the edge of the Eye, her hair dry.

_Oh, what __**now**__?_

_You have some more tasks to complete._

_Go away._

_They are tasks to help your friends._

_What sort of help?_

Dragon showed her and Tora felt a little spark of something old inside her light up.

_I don't see a problem with __**that**__._

And a smile touched her lips, twisting up.

_Let's go terrify the Devil._

* * *

><p>"Are you <strong>kidding<strong> me?"

"Nope."

* * *

><p>Mesphito <strong>had<strong> been having a good day. At least until he heard a little cough behind him and turned to see who had **dared** to invade his inner sanctorum. And then he gulped.

"Ah… My Lady… Shall I get you a refreshment?"

The Dragon, the Archivist of Reality was standing looking at him, glaring at him with such hate that Mesphito immediately ran through the last few centuries to see what he could have possibly done to upset her so much. Not good. The Archivist was usually followed by Death's Left Hand and that was **never** good to have a visit from her. While Mesphito was a lot more powerful than the Angel, she was still his direct superior. She was in charge of all the Earth Afterlives, of which his dimension was but one. The Malach Hamavet could easily be crushed in the palm of his hand, but that would just irritate Mistress Death. And the Archivist...

You **didn't** want to irritate the Archivist. Cul Borson had not heeded that, and he had been destroyed. Countless others had regarded her as a weaker, more trivial version of the Phoenix. And then they learnt their mistake.

_Mesphito. You have taken something you have no right to._

"My Lady, I assure you if I took anything of yours it was an accident… I would not **dare** to presume…"

_You did not take something of mine. But you took something of a friend of mine. A Mr Peter Parker and Ms Mary-Jane Watson-Parker._

"Ah, that was **entirely** within the terms of our agreement…"

_Except you did not honour your deal. I had already healed May Parker when you made your pact. Parker did not know, therefore he entered the deal. You stole their marriage and for nothing._

"I covered his identity…"

_Which was not part of your initial deal. So here is your payment. You must restore the marriage of Peter and Mary-Jane, but you must keep it so that his identity is hidden._

"How dare…!"

_Consider it payment for not honouring your terms._

"You do know that Peter Parker's mind is dead and that Otto Octavius…"

_I know. You will remedy that as well._

"Or what? You come to my domain and presume to threaten me…"

_I will bring you before Mistress Death and the Living Tribunal for breaking the Laws. And let me tell you, __**I**__ am a lot more lenient that they will be. I have been on the receiving end of the Tribunal's punishments before. It is not…comfortable. I am being __**kind**__. I am being the carrot. The Tribunal will be the stick. A big stick, with metal spikes. And a core of white dwarf matter. Do you understand?_

Damn the woman, she was smiling innocently, as if she wasn't threatening him, in his own domain, with the sweet innocence of a little child. Mesphito had always been wary of the Dragon –wary, but not afraid, not the way he was of the Phoenix. But now he was seeing how wrong he was. The Phoenix was something to be wary of, but in the end it was primal desires and passion, fire burning but could be controlled with a gently guiding hand. But the Dragon…

Oh, the Dragon was cold and calculating and relentless. Dam the river and it neatly changes its course while wearing away the dam until it would burst. Water gave the impression of being controlled but in the end, it was not fire that caused the most damage, it was water.

"Damn you, you cold, calculating-"

_Ah. Do you __**really **__want to insult me and risk me withdrawing my offer? I might even insist you allow their daughter to survive_.

"That was not in our deal!"

_Neither was taking the Parkers' marriage without keeping your part of the deal._

Mesphito swore under his breath, cursing the Dragon and all it stood for to ash and dust and eternal torment. She seemed rather interested in cleaning under her nails, obviously laughing under her breath at his discomfort.

"My Lady, is there any…"

_Any other thing you might offer to dissuade me? Well, you could promise to interfere with human affairs no longer. For all eternity. I think you'd rather give up on your ridiculous quest to keep MJ and Peter apart than be stuck without your main source of amusement for the entirety of the universe._

Thrice damn the manipulative, do-gooding and utterly evil reptile!

_You do know I'm capable of telepathy in this form. Especially when you're thinking as loud as you are now._

He allowed himself a few choicer curses before resigning himself to his fate.

"I accept your deal. Now will you please go away and leave me alone."

She gave that funny little smile, the infuriating little smirk that made fun of him and vanished. Mesphito swore again and summoned one of his lackeys.

"Get me a drink! And something to fry!"

Because he was going to take his anger out on his own demons rather than risk irritating the Dragon further.

* * *

><p>Jean giggled. Death had a slightly smug look on her face. The masked woman merely looked satisfied.<p> 


	283. Lost and Alone

**Memories**

Lost and Alone

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Curt jerked upright. Something was **wrong**. No. Wait. Something was **right**. Something that had been wrong for too long had been righted, some fundamental balance had been restored to the universe. And that could only mean one thing! Maman was back!

Curt leapt out of his spun hammock, Poison curling and writhing to become clothes as he ran past the signed photo of himself, Uncle Peter and M.J. Wait? M.J? He hadn't had a photo of Mary Jane Watson. Watson-Parker his brain supplied helpfully.

He stumbled to the floor, memories rushing in to fill places they had not been before.

_The trip to Coney Island. Getting irritated with the shooting gallery, and discreetly firing off a little ball of webbing._

_M.J. offering him a bit part in her latest drama. It was so fun to be one of the kidnappers._

_Pretending to be Spider-Man and posing for a photo with the pair of them. Uncle Peter had discreetly slipped him a ten dollar bill with a wink._

_Bringing the entire Young Avengers into their apartment to crash out after their base was destroyed. Uncle Peter panicking, M.J. just laughing and bringing out a jug of lemonade._

_M.J. standing nervously on the edge of a building, preparing to the civilian in "Save-the-Falling-Civilian-by-Web-Slinging"-101._

_Standing with Uncle Peter in a jewellery store, gazing in equal hopelessness at the array of sparkling gems in front of them. Why did some idiot come up with Valentine's Day?_

This **hadn't** happened! None of it had! But obviously, it had at the same time. He inhaled deeply. Rachel hadn't taught him meditation just to get him to stop running around. It was also a helpful method for chronokinetics.

He sank deeply into the flow of time. Gently reaching out, he found it. A gleaming silver thread, glowing brighter than a star in the timeline. It was woven through a tear, like a perfectly executed patching of a garment. Something had torn through time and Dragon had fixed it. But when? He'd have sensed the light before now. Which meant that it was recent. Which meant that…

MAMAN!

Curt leapt up and was about to run out the door when someone knocked. He warily opened it and found Jubilee standing there looking nervous. She was wearing a huge floppy hat and outsized sunglasses, to go with her full-length coat and gloves. The only skin on display was a little around her mouth and Curt knew from experience that all she'd have to do would be pull up her scarf and she'd be fully covered.

"Are you okay?"

"Are you going out?"

She gently looped her arm through his.

"We're going for a walk. You've been in that room for eighteen hours. You need some light."

"I don't photosynthesise."

She grinned, then suddenly became pensive.

"You know you can talk to me about this? Don't you?"

He nodded.

"It's just… It's just hard… Right now…"

"I miss her too."

Curt looked up.

"I… I keep expecting her to tell me to go and clean my room. Or to take Eva for a walk. Or to do my homework. She's never going to tell me off for scoffing my food too fast again."

"We've thought she was dead before."

Curt just lowered his head.

"It's different this time. I know it is. She's not going to come back, even if she could."

"Why not?"

Curt gulped and found himself slipping down the wall. Jubes crouched down beside her.

"The…The last thing I said to her… Before she wasn't **her** anymore… It was that I hated her… I hated her! I said that to her! The last thing I ever said to her was that I hated her!"

He felt cold leather touch his face.

"She knew you didn't mean it. She knew you **couldn't** mean it."

Curt was crying now, hating the fact he was doing this in public, that he **had** to do this.

"I… I thought she might be back… I felt her… So bright and warm and distant. I… How did you **cope**, Jubes? When your family died?"

She shrugged.

"I had to. I lived rough I was only able to cry after the X-Men took me in. Crying helped though. Crying helped."

Curt let her pull him up and steer him back into his room.

"I… I thought she was back… I thought I had **Maman** back…"

Jubes divested herself of the layers, leaving her in her customary jeans and shirt. Her hands –cold, dead hands, she obviously hadn't fed for a while- rested on his and he felt her hug him close.

"It'll always hurt. But she wouldn't want you to be kicking yourself. Not for the rest of your life. She loved you enough to let you go. She'd rather die than hurt you, so she did what she had to."

Curt buried his head in his hands.

"I **know**. What did I ever do to deserve her as my mother? I'm a mess-up. I goof around and I blow stuff up with Tommy. My best mate is a former convict. I'm not exactly perfect son material."

"Curt, Jamie is more than good enough for both of you. But you… They love you precisely **because** you're imperfect. You're messy and haphazard and you're fun. If you think that your dad was a perfect kid, you'd be wrong. The stories Etana used to tell when she was concussed…"

"I wished I'd properly met her. I only got to speak to her once before she left…"

"She was cool. Even when we dyed her pink, she was okay with it after she made us do a horrendous training session. She even asked if we had something a little more green."

Curt smiled weakly.

"She'd have been a great gran, wouldn't she?"

"Look at Zillah. Tan was a bit like that, only about five times more sarcastic and a bit better at social interactions."

"Was she as clueless as Zil' is for Evan?"

Jubilee went silent.

"What?"

"Look… I only saw Etana and Apocalypse once. And it was **freaky**, Curt. He was… It was like he was **courting** her. Only instead of bringing flowers and chocolates, he… He brought out the head of this old dude and tried to hand it over to Etana. Told her that he'd made sure he'd died slowly. Etana went mental. Started screaming at him in some ancient language, then tried to slap him senseless. He grabbed her wrist and started twisting and she was trying to get free and… It was **horrible**. He wasn't even trying to hurt her, that was the worst part. He wanted her to go with him of her own free will and it freaked her out. It really did."

"Zil's scared of Evan. She just doesn't like to show it."

"Well, duh. She's probably the only student who has even the slightest idea of what Apocalypse was capable of. She grew up hearing warnings about him. And then there's Evan, who looks like Apocalypse and who keeps staring at her when he thinks she isn't looking."

"He means well."

Jubilee sighed and hugged him tighter.

"Etana wasn't good at being subtle either. Zillah's going to be blunt, that's how she is."

"Like Maman."

Jubilee smiled softly, thinking of Tora's quiet sarcasm.

"Yeah. Like your mom."

* * *

><p>"She knew how to heal him. She loved him deeply. Why was she never tempted to turn him?"<p>

"She didn't want him to live like that. Even when all that was physically left was the symbiote, taking the form of a body long turned to dust, he was still Curt. Poison would never let its host, its friend, die."

"They were the purest of the relationships between symbiote and a carrier."

"Poison was born with Curt. They eventually forgot that they were once two different entities."

* * *

><p>Logan looked around the storage locker in confusion. He'd found the key in Tora's stuff, the twelve miserable boxes that had made up all her personal possessions. Twelve boxes! Yes, she not been much of a hoarder, except where the kids were concerned. The key to the storage locker implied there was more, that Tora had left more than just a few books and photos. He hadn't expected an office.<p>

It had a lived-in feel, a rug thrown haphazardly over the floor, a lamp on the desk by the pad and the laptop-tablet. An armchair by a portable heater and a bookcase.

He slowly sat in the desk chair and turned on the laptop. It came up with one of those touchscreen passwords, where you had to make a shape. Feeling vaguely hopeful he tried a blocky variation of the X-Men sign, two diagonals enclosed. No luck. He tried approximations of letters and words and pictures and then the laptop locked him out, asking for a written password and that was easy, because it was going to be a compilation of dates and numbers. But that didn't work and he swore.

"Try "Epsilon". It… It just…"

Logan turned to see Eva standing by the door.

"Epsilon?"

"Long story. I'll tell it at some point."

Epsilon worked. Logan entered the first directory and was confused to find the names of a number of X-Men in files. He clicked on Tora's own name.

_Real Name: Marie Howlett (n.b. Is it legally Howlett or still Circen?)_

_Known as: Tora Logan_

_Alias: Dragon_

_Powers: See file on Dragon Song_

_Position: Grey Queen_

_Movement: Winter_

_Weakness: Can only be destroyed of own accord. Must be emotionally manipulated into suicide._

There was more, pages and pages of stuff and annotations on her. Some were sensible, others were completely confusing. Such as her 'Position' and 'Movement' sections. Logan could make no sense of them. Eventually he gave up and opened his own.

_Real Name: James Howlett (middle name appears to be John)_

_Known as: Logan_

_Alias: Wolverine, Patch, Black Dragon_

_Powers: Standard feral_

_Position: Black King (in opposition to Charles? Surely Grey King works better, then in opposition to Scott, but Max is Grey. Why?)_

_Movement: Pluto, the Renewer (why? Why ominous when about new hope?)_

_Weakness: Too easily manipulated due to emotional feelings for myself._

He continued to read, getting more and more confused. The file contained everything, down to his preference of toothpaste and which side of the bed he slept on. It was disturbing that all this was kept on him. He spotted Emma's and opened that.

_Real Name: Emma Grace Frost_

_Known As: Emma Frost_

_Alias: White Queen, Black Queen, Emma Frost_

_Powers: Telepathy, telekinesis (mild, near non-existent), diamond form (can be damaged by adamantium)_

_Position: White Queen (the only one that seems to make sense)_

_Movement: Autumn (why? The regality destroyed then rebuilt?)_

_Weakness: Both overconfident and crippled with self-doubt. Not that hard to emotionally compromise_

They continued, dissections of all their teammates. And then Logan came to a file marked with a question mark and opened it.

_Real Name: Phoenix/Jean Grey/Hope Summers (I need clarification on this)_

_Known as: Hope? Jean? Phoenix?_

_Alias: Phoenix_

_Powers: See Phoenix Force_

_Position: Red Queen (in direct conflict to myself. Why?)_

_Movement: Summer (the threat of the storm?)_

_Weakness: Mental instability._

_Notes: Why can't I find details on this? Is Hope a reincarnation of Jean or are they both aspects/avatars/vessels of the Phoenix? Were they both created by the Phoenix before birth as the perfect avatar? "Jean is the only house I live in". How does Hope's obvious connection to the Phoenix Force fit in? Jean and the Phoenix are fully bonded, there is no Jean nor Phoenix, there is only the Phoenix-Jean. If Phoenix and Jean are the same, then what is Hope?_

The ravings of a madwoman, or something more? Her files were exhaustive, clinical notes on how to fight and kill even their closest friends. The details shocked him at times, but then wasn't she the confidant. She had always tried to remain above the politics of the team, calmly stating that "someone needs to be the mediator" and as such, she'd been the secret-keeper. If she so chose, she could have brought the whole team crashing down with a few choice words.

He turned off the computer, realising that if he read any further, he'd end up holding the power that Tora had. And that wasn't good. Tora had the self-control to keep quiet. Logan was liable to drag it up in one of his fights. That was how they'd fought. Logan would yell and Tora would be icily polite and reasonable, goading him further into his rage until he'd snap. That was how they worked, that was how they managed. They balanced one another, both being too stubborn to back down properly. They'd worked because they were opposites. What was it she'd said, all those years ago?

_They were lying on the sofa, at the back of the rec room, his fingers tangled in her hair. Then her head tilted back and she was looking up at him._

"_We work, don't we?"_

"_Sure we do. Why, what brought this on?"_

"_I was thinking. You're all fire and heat and burning. Surely you'd be better suited to the Phoenix. Not boring old Dragon."_

_He laughed then leant in to brush lips._

"_That's why we work, darlin'. We keep each other in balance."_

_She grinned, her whole face lighting up._

"_Fire and water, yang and yin, sun and moon."_

_He considered for a moment then realised that she'd insulted herself again._

"_No. Not the moon. You don't reflect light. You produce it."_

_She reached up to touch his face._

"_You're always so harsh on yourself. You created me. Without you, I would not be who I am today."_

"_You'd be a lot happier."_

"_Why? Because of what happened to me? If I wasn't taken, I'd have never met you. Maybe I'd be safer, but I'd only be half. For what is yin without its yang?"_

He closed his eyes. Why couldn't she be here, with him, right now? Why couldn't she explain what these cryptic comments meant? Why had she written these things in the first place? Why? Why? Why?

All he seemed to get now were questions.

* * *

><p>"She kept files on how to kill her friends?"<p>

"Any of the sensible people did. Anyway, that was her NEST server."

"NEST?"

"Oh yes. You never knew about them. A group of women who agreed to share information and skills, as well as work together –all in complete secrecy of course. They did sometimes work in the field together, but word never got out. They were very, **very** good at what they did."

"Does NEST mean anything?"

"An acronym for the names of the members. They only had access to certain parts of the files, but it was enough."

"And who were the mysterious members?"

"I'll show you the founding at some point."

"Now."

"Greedy, greedy."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>Don't expect any regular updates until the end of May. I have a few chapters written ahead, but I'm not writing any more until all my exams are over. _


	284. Old Times

Logan opened the door and stopped. Four pairs of eyes were looking up at him with a sort of wary interest.

Natasha Romanova.

Elektra Natchios.

Silver Sablinova.

And Tora Logan.

He gulped.

"Err… I'll…just go? Yeah?"

"_Da_."

"_Naí_."

"_Daiya_."

"_Oui_."

The four had spoke in unison, in four different languages. The universal tone made it quite clear that this was a meeting he was not welcome to. He quietly closed the door. Those were four women it never paid to get on the wrong side of.

Inside the room, Tora leant back slightly.

"You all received the message I sent and it must have piqued your interest, otherwise you wouldn't be here."

Silver Sable leant forward.

"You said you had a business proposition."

Tora's fingers steepled together under her chin.

"The three of you are all the top of your game. Whether espionage-" she inclined her head at Black Widow, "martial arts-" Elektra graciously nodded, "or bounty hunter." Sable smiled briefly.

"You're all acknowledged as the best –beating all the others, men and women, who want your place at the top. Our areas of interest overlap, but largely we remain apart. I was interested in setting up an information share. Private, not to be shared with others unless the source is kept hidden. And talent, as well-"

"You have not said what you bring to the table."

Tora paused, looking at Elektra. Black Widow cleared her throat.

"We're talking to Weapon X-ii. She hacked the Pentagon's computers at six. She was disarming bombs before she was able to read. She's possible as good as all of us, she's just being polite and telling us how wonderful we all are. She was planned to be a cross between myself and Wolverine. I'd say they were a little more successful than anticipated."

Tora had gone bright red. She spoke in Russian, chiding Natalia for embarrassing her in front of the others. Natasha laughed back and responded in kind, informing Tora that she really had to accept her talents and skills as a vital component of herself, no matter how she learnt them. After all, she embraced her place as a spy and assassin, did she not? Tora winced and switched back to English. Russian was close enough to Silver's native Symerkarian for her to understand but Elektra looked a little left out.

"I have a scar for every skill I learnt. I prefer not to remember them."

She saw their gaze flit across her face. She shook her head and slid up her sleeve, showing one of the smaller scars across her upper arm. It had been where she'd dug out the tracker chip, but they didn't have to know that. Most her scars were mental anyway. And it was easier than explaining away the brand or the criss-crossing X that still twinged when the humidity was right and she'd been moving in that way, the twist that she relied on for a number of dodges and darts. It was almost always guaranteed to rip the scars if she did it too often. She'd never told the others. Just more one thing to get pity for. She could control pain. She made pain work for her.

"She is more than capable of acting as our central node in this…endeavour."

"Yes, **thank you**, Natalia. I took the liberty of preparing these."

She handed out small hard drives.

"On it is the beginnings of my own data gathering. The more you enter into the shared database, the more will be revealed to you from the others'. We rely on integrity and honesty in this endeavour."

Elektra looked confused.

"We are not fighting together?"

Tora frowned, the idea obviously not having occurred to her. Black Widow looked cheerful.

"You can code in a request to meet, can't you? Alert us to something that needs all of us to help?"

"I could…"

"Then do it! We're starting our own secret team!"

Tora discreetly glanced at the vodka on the table. It was still half-filled. Silver Sable leant back.

"So, what are we calling ourselves?"

"We don't need to give ourselves a **name**!"

"Yes, Tora, we do."

"How much vodka have you had, Natalia?"

"Not enough. Can't have Avengers, can't have Defenders, anyone suggest Champions I will shoot them, can't call ourselves Super Ninja Spy Mercenary Hackers. You got any ideas, Elektra?"

"The Furies from Greek Mythology? Erinyes?"

"Weren't they the Dirae?"

"That was the Romans."

"Won't work, there were only three of them."

"Also, I've met the Furies. They wouldn't appreciate us using their name."

"How about an acronym?"

"What can we make out of S, B, T and E, though? And if anyone suggests 'Best', I **will** stab them."

"No one was going to suggest Best, Tora. We're not **that** bad."

"How about we ditch the code names and use our real ones. That way we can get NEST out of it."

"Why Nest?"

Silver looked confused then brightened.

"A safe haven. We create a safe haven."

Tora groaned but Elektra shrugged.

"Gets my vote. Send me the updated program through the channel you got to reach me in the first place."

Tora stood.

"Just so we understand, this doesn't leave us four. We can't tell anyone. We do silent missions, okay?"

The other three nodded then left one by one. When Black Widow finished her vodka and vanished, Tora let the smirk reach the unparalysed side of her face.

"Mission accomplished."

* * *

><p>"The manipulative…"<p>

"Bear in mind, NEST dealt with a great deal of threats before they ever got to a major level. Statisically, they saved close to ten thousand lives simply by taking down potential world domination schemes before they ever got off the ground. Something the Avengers always sucked at."

"So this was **way** back?"

"Tora was a mother, had not yet joined with Dragon. Shall we return to the 'present'?"

"There isn't a present right now."

"Shall we return to where we left off before you so rudely interrupted me?"

"Sure. Oooh, show her visit to Kurt!"

"You are a demanding guest, you know that, Jean?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N.<strong>__ Apologies for the huge delay. But life decided to get in the way. But I've hopefully got a lot of free time now, so I can update more often. S-99_


	285. Friends

_She screamed as she felt herself being torn from her position on the astral plane and then she crashed into a hard floor. She could feel! She was physical again! And then she looked up and saw Strange and the circle and let rip a barrage of swear words. Then she glared at him._

_"Let me guess. Step out the circle, I go back to intangibility?" _

_"Correct."_

_She swore again._

_"Tora…?"_

_She whipped around. Logan was staring at her with wide eyes. She reached out a hand but froze as her fingers vanished on passing over the line._

_"Logan…"_

_"It is you…"_

_"Course it is. By the way, don't do that again. It hurts!"_

_"We… We went to the Underworld, to Valhalla, Hel, Duat… Nothing. We summoned an Angel of Death…"_

_"Let me guess. Tana?"_

_"Yes. We're going to have words about that later. She said that you chose to remain on the astral plane to keep an eye on us all."_

_"Well, __**obviously**__. I'm here, aren't I?"_

_"Tora…"_

_He reached out a hand but the circle appeared to create a physical barrier he couldn't pass. Hand resting in air. She moved her hand so palms almost touched._

_"I'm sorry. Tell Bobby I loved his eulogy. I need to go now. I need to be there for Kurt. He's quite frankly suicidal right now. Someone needs to try and push him away from the building edge."_

_And she smiled sadly as she stepped out of the circle, right through Logan as he screamed a warning, that the summoning only worked once and she realised she had just lost her chance to explain things to Kurt. She cursed her impatience. And then she was flying, now beside Kurt. She rested her head on his shoulder and burst into angry tears._

xXx

_The legends were there. The wild woman, who ran with wolves, a beautiful, graceful woman who would kill any man who looked upon her. Murdoch the Bard sang her praises, and Virginia Dare claimed to have seen the woman, a slender, European woman, with hair the colour of fire. And Rojhas, he spoke of the child stolen by the wolves, who could not speak, who hunted and howled to the moon._

_And there she was, washing in the river, her hair appearing to gleam in the night as she splashed water at her pack. The wolf she had splashed, one with a white splash over one ear barked happily then leapt, pinning the woman down. They wrestled together, spray from the river splashing the other wolves._

_He stared at her. She was beautiful, wiry and dark, a part of the pack, barking happily to them. Naked except for her long hair, lithe and strong, barking and yapping with them. He shifted and a stick cracked. Instantly they all looked up and she snarled. She ceased to look human. Then she dropped onto all fours and leapt towards him, snarling, her hair flying out behind her, the wolves following._

xXx

_The woman glanced over her shoulder at the man._

_"Open the door, would you? These bags make it impossible to fit the key in."_

_The man did so and wondered at the calmness of the woman. The __**ordinariness**__ of her. She walked past the lift and glanced back when he stopped._

_"It doesn't stop at our floor. Anyway, walking keeps us fit."_

_They climbed to the top and she jerked her head to show him to open this door as well. They entered into a light, airy, open-plan room with views over the Bay from the large windows and she walked over to the unit in the kitchen, dumping the bags down._

_"Tora, I'm back."_

_"Hey. Just a mo, the sink's broken."_

_He peered round the unit to see a pair of legs sticking out from a cupboard._

_"Pass the allen key please. Size 6."_

_He leant down and handed it in. There was a 'kerlunk' sound, a stream of French that sounded heavily indecent and then the body pulled out. Her hair was pulled up and she looked exceptionally cheerful, despite the scarring on her face._

_"So you're the Post reporter? Tora."_

_She got up and held out a hand, then glanced over at the woman._

_"Wanda, please remember to pick your underwear up from the bathroom, it's really rather annoying going in and finding clothes scattered around on the floor."_

_"We're not all OCD tidiness freaks."_

_"You could at least stick them in the wash!"_

_"You're just completely over controlling. You sort your __**socks**__ by colour!"_

_"I've given up ironing your clothes because you just shove them in your drawers any old how. You've been spoiled by Jarvis, Wanda."_

_"I have __**not**__!"_

_"Let's think, I have to do the cooking, because you char everything to briquettes; the cleaning of the bathroom because you have an 'allergy' to bleach and the DIY because you and tools don't bear thinking about."_

_"I do the washing up…"_

_"Yes. One thing. Sorry, we're usually like this. And you are?"_

_"Pete. So… What are an Avenger and an X-Man doing in San Francisco, flatsharing?"_

_Tora wrinkled her nose._

_"We're not actually members of those teams anymore. I was planning to leave anyway –long story, don't ask- and Wanda was questioning her efficiency on an international team. She heard I was planning to move to California –since Spider-Woman returned to the East Coast, there's not been many street-level heroes here- and asked if I'd be interested in working with her."_

_"Yet you're both two of the most powerful members of your former teams."_

_Tora shrugged._

_"They have Phoenix back. If we're on the same team, all __**sorts**__ of crazy stuff happens. And most of it can be averted. There just has to be a big distance between us. It's far too complicated to explain in an interview that's scheduled to last half an hour."_

_Wanda shrugged._

_"I really needed to make myself my own person. Anyway, they have Thor. He's more than capable of acting as their…er…"_

_"Blaster?"_

_"Tora, that's not nice."_

_"Come on, you basically shot red energy bolts at them. At least Thor does it with __**style**__."_

_"Is he still seeing Storm?"_

_"Oh boy… Please don't ask me about that… Have you __**seen**__ the freak weather patterns Westchester has been getting lately?"_

_They both laughed then smiled at the journalist._

_"Wanda, I'll make the coffee. If you both want to go over there…"_

_She gestured to the sofa and chairs by the window then turned to the kettle. She heard them talking but ignored them. One peppermint tea with a spoon of honey –else it would be too sharp, one chamomile tea and a coffee. She finished, placed the mugs –one red, one aqua blue, one white- on the tray and walked over._

_"Coffee? Wanda, tea?"_

_"You're a life-saver, Tora."_

_She picked up the red mug and inhaled the steam._

_"And well, when I realised she could make tea and coffee like this –not to mention having wheedled Nightcrawler's recipe for Black Forest Gateau out of him- I knew she had to stay."_

_Tora laughed as she sat down, picked up the mug and inhaled the fresh mint smell. Going cold turkey on the coffee had helped and now she only kept it as a challenge to not drink the stuff._

_"So, we've covered why Wanda wanted to work with you. Can you tell me…?"_

_"Oh. Yeah. Well, we'd always known __**of**__ each other. But we met… when was it…? It was to do with Doom… Or was it that whole fiasco with the Goddess…? Or…"_

_"It was Thanos. You punched him. And called him a 'no-good, useless, stalker-failure.' That's what made me decide I'd like you."_

_"Oh yeah. And, well, Wanda hexed his clothes off –you'd be surprised how easy it is to stop the bad guys monologuing when they've no dignity- and I just __**knew**__ I'd have to be properly introduced."_

_They both laughed, apparently not realising how abnormal their meeting had been._

_"And we got to know each other and it was brilliant. Seriously, do you __**know**__ how many X-Men watch British comedy? Two. One's British and the other was a member of Excalibur. And I'd been banned from Doctor Who. And Wanda –put it this way, we've done the parrot sketch."_

_"Pardon?"_

_Wanda sighed._

_"She obsesses more than I do. We got to know each other over a shared love of classic Seventies comedy and trying to get over our caffeine addictions. Seriously, want to get addicted to coffee? Join a superhero team. The leader's always a terribly morning-person. Not so bad for __**her**__, she's even worse than Cyclops –which is something. But everyone ends up hooked on coffee."_

_Tora laughed._

_"The Brotherhood attacked once, before we'd had coffee. I ignored them all, went into the kitchen, brewed the pot and brought it out to the others, who were all refusing to acknowledge that the Brotherhood was there before caffeine. We all ended up having coffee together. Apparently Magneto's a morning-person too. They weren't happy."_

_Wanda smiled._

_"I remember that. It's horrific, believe you me. Well, back to the story. We were both planning to leave and I mentioned it one day. She said she'd been planning to leave as well and we ended up looking for a flat together. She wanted somewhere warm –seriously, she hates being cold- and I wanted somewhere as far as possible from my dear brother –over-protective? That's an understatement. California seemed the obvious bet and Tora happened to mention she'd heard Spider-Woman was moving back. So San Francisco would have lost their second street-level hero in less than two years. So she mentioned something to a friend who owed a favour, got the flat fixed up and we moved."_

_"Your first piece of crimefighting was preventing the mayor being kidnapped. How was that?"_

_They laughed and Tora spoke._

_"Oh, we bickered and yelled at each other and tried to work out how to do a Fastball Special and I think the poor woman was terrified her rescuers would end up killing each other but it was great fun."_

_Wanda sighed._

_"See. Gets over the caffeine addiction and moves onto adrenaline."_

_She grinned in response._

_"Oh, you're just jealous."_

_Pete rose and held out his hand._

_"Thank you for your time. It's good to know that we're protected by such devoted people."_

_Tora nodded._

_"You agreed? No addresses and no real names? We like this flat. We don't want it blown up."_

_He smiled._

_"Of course not. Thank you."_

_They nodded and Wanda accompanied him to the door. Then she came back, rolling her eyes._

_"Monty Python? That's the __**best**__ you could come up with?"_

_"I panicked. I don't do open notebooks well."_

_"You're an idiot, that's what you are."_

_"Well, what __**could**__ I say? We came here because we hated our teammates? We wanted to live in a better climate? We were kicked off? I know, we should have told the truth! No one would have believed us!"_

_"This __**is**__ San Francisco."_

_"Good point. They __**would**__ have believed us."_

* * *

><p>"Huh?"<p>

"All shall be revealed, Phoenix my dear, all shall be revealed."

"You're doing it again."

"Doing what again?"

"The _I'm so mysterious, listen to me_ thing."

"I am **not**!"


	286. Calling Ghosts

_I'm sorry_. _Can you ever forgive me?_

There was no answer. That was to be expected. She was less than a ghost, more an echo. A fleeting shadow. Albeit one sitting in a chair next to a hospital bed. She reached out and laced her fingers between those of the hand lying limp on top of the sheets.

_I didn't know. And that's an __**awful**__ excuse but I honestly didn't. Neither of us did. It just sort of…__**happened**__, didn't it? I think deep down, we both __**knew**__. In some primal part of us, we knew there was something in the other that called out to us._

She sighed and tried to squeeze the hand. Her insubstantial fingers slid right through.

_I'm sorry that you're like this because of me. I know I can never fully atone for this. But I can do this for you…_

Her fingers pushed into their forehead then travelled down to the heart.

**_One mind, one soul; begone. You are two. Two minds, two bodies, two souls. End this unnatural bond. Be reliant on yourself, not the other. This is the Way of the Warrior._**

She withdrew her hand and tears slid down her non-existent cheeks as her fingers brushed the face of her _Makrrst_-no-more.

_One last thing…_

She got up and moved over to the window, to the broad expanse of sky. Glanced over her shoulder and smiled.

_Wake up, Kurt. The X-Men need their fuzzy elf._

And she was gone in a flash of steam, as if she had never existed at all.

One of the machines, silent for months now, began to blink and beep…

* * *

><p>Phoenix looked cheerful.<p>

"It's so **sweet**."

* * *

><p>Kurt still lay on the bed but the numerous machines that had been keeping him supplied with oxygen and nutrients were gone. He shook his head at Hank and Logan's gentle questioning.<p>

"The last thing I remember was teleporting in. Then pain. Right through my chest. It… It felt like Bastion again…"

He looked away.

"The next thing I know, I wake up here. But… There are… moments. I could have sworn… I could have sworn…"

Logan leant forward.

"What, Kurt?"

"I could have sworn I heard Tora tell me to wake up."

He caught the glance between Logan and Hank.

"Where is she? I thought she'd be here right now."

And then he saw the looks between them and closed his eyes.

"She's dead, isn't she?"

Hank glanced at Logan, as if hoping he would speak but the seated man remained stonily silent, leaving Hank to fill in the gaps.

"She… She killed herself before she could do any more damage."

Kurt looked over at Logan and saw a flash of something in his eyes that was gone as soon as it arrived. And in that moment, Kurt knew and Logan knew Kurt knew and there was such relief there that someone else knew his secret.

Eventually, Hank wandered off when a tiny girl with a white blindfold over her eyes knocked on the door and asked a question that lost Kurt after she mentioned "symmetry breaking" (eight seconds in) and he looked at Logan questioningly.

"What really happened?"

"She… She made me keep my promise."

Kurt reached out and put a hand over Logan's.

"She shouldn't have asked you to do that?"

"I promised. I swore that I'd guard her from the dark and I failed."

Kurt shook his head.

"You didn't. Please. Believe me."

Logan looked away.

"There's someone who's been desperate to meet you."

"Who?"

"Seeing as you've missed so much, you'll be surprised to know that Steve adopted."

"What?!"

"Lovely kid. Zillah Bat Etana."

Kurt frowned and Logan smiled.

"Clone. Lovely girl, spends hours with Laura discussing whether the neck or the chest is the better place to make a fatal strike."

Kurt couldn't help himself but grinned.

"And the girl?"

"That's Akira. She makes Maggie look like a spoon-bender."

"Meaning?"

"Electrokinesis, magnetokinesis, gravikinesis and able to control the nuclear forces, whatever they are. She stopped an earthquake on her manifestation."

Kurt raised an incredulous eyebrow.

"Really?"

"And she's not even that well-trained. She only really cares about how she can get her project particle collider to work. That's her discussing it with Hank now. Reed wants to take her in to the Foundation-"

"The Foundation?"

"Oh. You missed that. Reed's set up a school for the best and brightest. Jamie's there right now. Akira's all for it but we've agreed she needs to learn to control her powers here before we let her out to the Foundation. She's studying with them two days a week. Jamie has a new best friend."

Kurt laughed.

"Let me guess. He and Valeria pepper the girl with questions and she answers them all?"

"That's about it. And they argue about multiverse theory. And Schrodinger's Cat. I think Akira regards it as an insult to her ability. She sees in sub-atomic systems."

Kurt laughed and squeezed Logan's hand.

"What else have I missed?"

"Jean-Paul got married to Kyle."

Kurt pouted in mock disappointment.

"I missed all the fun stuff."

Logan smiled, properly for the first time in months.

"Kurt… Thanks."

Nightcrawler tilted his head.

"Why?"

"Just…for being you."

* * *

><p>Silence. Phoenix glanced at her host and saw the sadness in the uncovered eye, the unspeakable sadness of one who lost everything.<p>

* * *

><p>The boy stood up, blood trickling down from his split lip and the cut over his eyebrow.<p>

"Do it again!"

The girl looked confused but slammed her fist down on him again. He coughed and splattered blood across the ground.

"Again!"

The girl shrugged, obviously deciding the crazy mutie was really insane and thumped him again.

That was when something moving very, **very** fast thumped into her ankles and sent her toppling over.

Tommy stood over Curt and his face was so **angry**.

"What the **hell** do you think you're doing?! This is the kind of crap **I **pull! Not you! Not you!"

Curt looked up, the cuts already healing over, the depression in the skull hollowing out.

"Why do you care? No one cares?"

Curt was yanked upwards at superspeed and then slapped three times in two-thirds of a second.

"You stop that! When we didn't see you! Damn, Eli near killed Coat-of-Arms to find out where you'd gone! Don't you **dare** keep doing this!"

Curt looked shell-shocked, lost and tired.

"No one cares… No one ever **cared**."

"Don't say that! I know what not caring looks like and it's as sure as hell not what you have! If anything, people care **too** much and you have no idea what you had! You think you're so hard done by but your parents fought tooth and nail for you! Mine just said, sure, here you go, take him. Thanks, we'll take the eight thousand now and vanish! Your mother **died** to keep you safe! Mine just used to watch my dad beat me up."

Curt just shuddered.

"I… I think Dad killed Maman. I think he's been lying to me… I THINK MY DAD KILLED MY MOTHER!"

Curt stopped and looked around. The Young Avengers were staring at him with wide eyes. He closed his own.

"He… He won't answer my questions… He… He just avoids me when I ask… My dad… My dad killed Maman… He promised to me he… He promised he'd never hurt her…"

He shook his head.

"What do you do then? What do you do if you think that your dad broke every single promise he ever made?"

He slowed time down enough to make his escape before any of them could answer.

* * *

><p>"That boy never could cope with anything harsh."<p>

"He had the emotionally maturity of his twin, but because of his apparent age, people expected him to react like a young man, when in fact he was just a child still learning about his world. At this point, his relationship with Jubilee was really nothing more than exceptionally close friendship and some minor physical attraction that he did not fully understand."


	287. Balance of Power

**Memories**

Balance of Power

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

She looked up at the stars, her eyes wide and all-seeing.

Once she had a name. Once she had a body. Once she was a mutant woman who had a husband and children and friends. She drank more coffee than was probably healthy unless you had a healing factor, and got annoyed when she ran out of mint and strawberry soap.

Once she has **meant** something. Once she had laughed at stupid jokes, and gotten exaspherated with her students and moaned at her husband until he'd come over and massage her shoulders until she was too sleepy to do anything but purr.

But she was not that being anymore. At times, she even had trouble remembering the names of the faces that were gradually beginning to blur away from her.

Her body was a swirl of nebula and a smattering of stars. Cosmic dust and little asteroids whizzing around inside. Maybe once she had been a flesh-and-blood being, but that was distant and fuzzy. Once she had existed in only three dimensions, stuck travelling through a fourth with no change in direction or velocity. Now she was… Now she was **now**. She was everywhere, everything, everytime. She saw everything and so saw nothing at all.

Once she had lived on a little world orbiting a little star on the edge of an insignificant little galaxy. Now she stretched from one side of the universe to the other, a universal constant.

The Dragon spread its wings and **existed**.

Tora Logan faded just that little more.

* * *

><p>"<strong>This<strong> is why we can't just piggy-back in humans. We swamp them, until nothing is left."

* * *

><p>The being who had once been Tora Logan felt the echoing call of one of the Five in her mind. Intrigued at what could possibly rouse Mistress Death from her own realm to result in contacting one of the Life Trinity, all it took was a little bit of extra focus and she was in the Afterlife.<p>

She had always found Death's realm both beautifully calming and incredibly distressing at the same time. Aesthetically, the place was one of the most beautiful of the realms that the cosmic beings had build for themselves. Death had recently discovered soaring architecture and graceful spires and had begun redesigning, although in stark monochrome. But for all its beauty, there was no thrum of life, no bursts of energy as people lived and loved and fought. For a being whose purpose was Life Itself, Death's Domain had always been mildly upsetting.

_You have called me, Sister Death._

Death was in one of her favourite forms today, the beautiful black haired woman in the purple robe. At her shoulder, the ever-stoic Malach Hamavet stood, wings alight and hand resting ever so threateningly on the curved blade. Its face was expressionless, and the flames that curled around the face was silver-white with heat. For some reason, it didn't feel happy to see the Dragon.

Death waved a hand languidly.

_You have been neglecting your duties, Dragon._

A flash of annoyance-rage-embarrassment rang through her.

_I was, and now I have returned to devoting my full attentions to the tasks of-_

_I do not refer to your duties as Dragon. I refer to your role as a protecter of Earth._

_An insignificant minor planet orbiting a small star on the edge of a small galaxy. I do not see-_

_Have you truly forgotten, Dragon? Have you forgotten what you once were? You were so small and mortal and beautiful. You had mortal passions and fears and you were so much smaller than you are now. And also so much greater._

Dragon recoiled and suddenly couldn't help the flood of memories rushing back in, memories of a human –no, **mutant** woman.

_Screaming for mercy that wouldn't come._

_Laughing with friends over the smallest thing._

_Dancing through rubble, shielding the child with her body and handing him over to a grateful parent._

_Dancing, properly this time, at the last prom the Xavier School would have, Logan's hands slowly wandering lower and his grin when she slapped them away._

_Sitting in the warm armchair, a young child wrapped in her arms as she rocked them to sleep._

Something hot was trickling down a face that had not been remembered until just now. Tora looked up at Death and smiled weakly.

"Thank you."

_I find you amusing. Do not lose yourself again._

Tora smiled, properly this time, at the silent sentinel at Death's left shoulder.

"Am I forgiven?"

The Malach Hamavet inclined her head slightly and there was a flash of white in the black flames.

_You were from the moment you committed the offence._

Feeling freer than she had in… well, time had been immaterial, so feeling freer than she had since her soul had been wrenched from her, Tora left, in balance with herself and her power once more.

* * *

><p>"She didn't gain full balance for years though."<p>

"No, Dragon messed up. Again. The reptile always was awful at coping with Tora. They did balance each other well when they finally sorted out their relationship problems."

* * *

><p>Kash'kaa ran. It knew running was of no use. Its planet was crumbling under its feet, the world dying around it.<p>

And then an ugly being walked towards it. Its skin was too pink and its hair was the fierce red of the oceans. And it contorted its flat, near featureless face into a crude distortion. Then spoke, in perfect Voric.

"You might want to get back a bit. This'll sting a little."

And its body glowed with a thousand lights and clear liquid swirled into existence around it and it placed what Kash'kaa could only assume were its hands with their too-long, spindly fingers upon the ground and it looked up at it again and suddenly it was beautiful.

_Look after this world of yours. It's a beautiful place._

And the tremors stopped and the being –the beautiful, graceful, enigmatic being which had saved Voris was gone, as if it had never been there at all.

* * *

><p>"She still wasn't going home."<p>

"Oh, you know how it was. Places to go, civilisations to save, filing to manage."

* * *

><p>She observed the supernova on all levels. From the big picture, the beautiful bursts as the star exploded white-hot, down to the most miniscule of levels to the no less beautiful fusion and fission of elements, and even further down where the subatomic particles changed, releasing energy as they did so.<p>

She observed it all and carefully kept track of it and then filed it away in the Library, which, for the first time since the universe began, had a new room added (normally, the rooms were always just big enough to store everything). She liked the little room off the Heart, which had been built for one express purpose –somewhere she could go and just be herself, while Dragon went off to do other things. It was refreshingly unchanging. The rest of the Library could never decide on its appearance, changing as the whim took it. One day, K'Meeri Literature would be stored in a perfect, albeit much larger, replica of the Vault of Seven Souls in D'roka, M'Keer's capital city and the seat of the K'Meeri Emperor. The next, it would be a beautiful facsimile of the Halls of Hallowed Learning on Chandilar, the Shi'ar Throneworld.

But her little room remained constant. It was a copy of her office at the Jean Grey School, which in itself was a copy of her office for the Xavier Institute. The room reminded her of warm days and somehow, Dragon had managed to get the full-length windows to display a full range of weather and outdoor student activity. At the moment, there was an overeager basketball game going on, although Tora did realise she only recognised some of the students. And was that **Etana**? No, the limbs were slimmer, giving the impression of awkwardness that Etana had grown out of by her early twenties. And then there was the fact that… The Etana look-alike had just punched Evan. Oh, great. Chamber had run in, was splitting them up but the girl –and **oh**, how she looked like Etana- was already storming off.

Girl. Looked like Etana. About sixteen, give or take a year. Was that **Zillah**? Oh, it looked so like her. The face was as Etana's had been, before the various bones had been broken, shattered or cracked. So how was…

Tora sighed. She was going to **kill** the Dragon. She stuck her head out of the door and instantly felt the stupid reptile rush into her head.

_Did you link those windows up to the __**actual**__ office?_

_I thought you'd appreciate the chance to keep up-to-date with current affairs. Have I offended you?_

Tora considered for the briefest moment then shook her head.

_Thank you, Big Sibling._

She felt the mental chuckle of amusement run through her mind, as the Dragon pulled away, letting her go back into her room.

Once there, she didn't feel too bad about pulling her chair over to the window and watching in rapt amusement as life at the Jean Grey Institute played out in front of her.

* * *

><p>"Awww. For all they fought, the Dragon always was inordinately fond of her."<p>

"Much the same way the Phoenix was of you, Jean. The perfect avatar. The perfect house and friend."


	288. Dirty Secrets

**Memories**

Dirty Secrets

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Zillah looked at Laura and smiled weakly.

"I'll see you soon?"

Laura looked awkward.

"I… I am planning to leave to the New Xavier School."

Zillah bit her lip.

"Oh. So on paper, we are then on opposing sides?"

Laura nodded. Zillah grinned.

"If we catch you, I'll let you go."

"If you do so, I will never forgive you."

"Okay, I'll give you the best fight you've ever had."

Laura smiled and held out a hand and they shook.

"I'll see you around then?"

Laura nodded.

"And Zillah?"

"Yeah?"

"Evan's a good guy. I mean, he thinks he's Superman, but he's a **good guy**. You should stop punching him."

"I'll stop if he stops asking me out."

"He **likes** you."

"His genetic model stalked Ima. Forgive me for having misgivings."

"For all he looks like him, Evan is **not** Apocalypse."

Zillah's eyes went steely.

"Did you ever **meet** Apocalypse? I doubt you can give an accurate response."

She picked up her bag and then prepared to walked away, before firing one last parting shot.

"And Ima was friends with En Sabah Nur for close to three centuries before he tried to force her to marry him and she broke his nose."

Laura had no answer.

* * *

><p>"Wait? Apocalypse and Etana were <strong>friends<strong>?!"

"They did meet during a Brood invasion and they met up every few decades after that. I rather think he had a crush on her from the beginning. Then she found out about the whole mutant supremacy thing and broke his nose. You **honestly** think she'd have gone to a meeting with him if she didn't trust him?"

* * *

><p>Greer and Hank sat down, looking tired. Three days. <strong>Three days<strong> was all it had taken for Zillah Rogers to get into a fight. And a fight that resulted in her knifing someone. She had only gone for the thigh, missing any major blood vessels, but still…

According to Ava however, Zillah had been provoked with anti-Semitic comments, which was unacceptable with an Avengers Academy student. There had been that awkward moment when they asked how many lethal weapons she had and she had paused for a moment.

"**Conventionally** lethal, or lethal in my hands?"

"Both, please."

"Twelve weapons classified as lethal, eighty-eight lethal in my opinion, including my fingernails."

At that point, the facility gave up. They took the knives, blow-darts and the miniature crossbow she had smuggled in, but couldn't do anything about the packet of paperclips, the box of erasers and all ten fingernails.

"Why did we ever say we'd take her? Logan **warned** us she was worse than Laura."

"Steve asked. And when Captain America asks, you tend to find it hard to say no."

"She's a walking death trap!"

"Greer, did you ever meet Etana?"

"No. I heard she was hellish to work with."

"I think a better term would have been 'single-minded'. She tended to get a little over-focussed, and she had her own way of doing things. Admittedly, her way of doing things was a little…outdated, but she was set in her ways."

"Didn't she once rip someone's head off?"

"No, that's just a rumour. Well, she **might** have done, but not when anyone was there. Although I did see her once… Put it this way, you know how Doom now wears plate armour around his groin? He didn't before he met Etana."

Greer couldn't help it. She had to giggle. Hank grinned.

"She was actually okay, if you got her when we weren't working. Had a hell of a sense of humour. According to her, she invented sarcasm, but I think she was being sarcastic about that."

"Is it true that Steve and…"

"I mean, I never saw anything, but… but Steve said he thinks he fell in love with her back in the Forties."

"And her?"

"Well, after… After the whole Tora thing… Steve managed to get very, very drunk. He… He said that they kissed a few times and she didn't try to stab him."

They sat in silence and looked down. Zillah had been sitting in the detention room for the last three hours, doodling. Greer twisted her head.

"Is… Is she drawing **human anatomy**?"

Hank turned as well.

"Yep. Looks like… She's highlighting all the major organs and annotating how easy they are to stab. Damn! Steve is going to **kill** me!"

"Why?"

"He asked me to try and make her a little **less** stab happy."

"Hank, I've known her for four days. **Nothing** will make that girl less stab happy."

Below them, the girl looked up and gave them a big grin. Hank groaned.

"I'm going to call Steve."

* * *

><p>Phoenix couldn't help it. She managed to hold it in for a few brief seconds before laughing like a hyena and rolling around on the floor. Death looked unimpressed.<p>

"You see, **this** is why people stopped respecting cosmic entities."

* * *

><p>Wanda was sitting in Logan's chair when he entered the office. He just looked unimpressed. Wanda smirked.<p>

"You do realise, I can't keep babysitting for you?"

"Seeing as the nanny's gone back to Santo Marco, the country **you** helped annex-"

"I was **fifteen**."

"You still helped annex it."

"Okay, I made dodgy life choices. **You're** one to talk. Anyway, I found something. Something very interesting indeed."

"What?"

He may not like the Witch, but she brought good intel to the table.

"I was doing some work in balancing… Wait, your magical knowledge sucks. I was poking around in some odd dimensions and I found something interesting."

"What sort of interesting?"

He pointed over to the armchairs he brought in for the more private discussions. Wanda span around in the big chair once more just to annoy him then moved over. She looked nervous.

"There was… There's a small pocket dimension. It's only of any form of interest because of its properties. It's a…bridge, as it were, between alternate realities. But… There was an energy signature there that wasn't there before. A very **familiar** energy signature."

Logan sat back, suddenly feeling a trickle of coldness down his spine. Whether fear or anticipation he wasn't sure.

"You think…?"

"We've never really found a trace of Dragon's signature after all that, and you can't wipe out something like that. Not without ripping a huge hole in reality."

"That's bad, right?"

Wanda just **looked** at him. He sighed.

"Look, I've just spent three hours trying to get kids interested in the California Gold Rush. They mostly ask whether or not I was there."

Wanda closed her eyes.

"Unfortunately, I was with Stephen Strange at the time, who's gone and put a lot of locks and alerts on the pocket dimension. We'd have a gap of less than five minutes to get in; bring Tora out, **as** an incredibly complex energy pattern that could collapse at any second; and close the dimension off to avoid bringing every single Avenger down on our heads."

Logan whistled through his teeth.

"So, not going to be easy?"

Wanda shot him a look.

"Logan, please at least **pretend** to respect me. It's **easy**. But can't be done here. It would be a very bad idea."

Logan nodded.

"I know a few places."

Wanda nodded sharply.

"You should probably… you know… Do it when no one else could be around?"

Logan sighed and scribbled an address down.

"Here? Oh-one-hundred hours, tomorrow?"

Wanda looked, nodded and then the paper returned to its original pristine condition in a flash of red light.

"I'll see you then."

And like the writing, Wanda was gone in a flash of red light.

* * *

><p>Phoenix frowned.<p>

"I don't remember that."

"It was considered a minor embarrassment on all sides."

* * *

><p><em><strong>A.N. <strong>My apologies. Life seems to have suddenly picked up. The gap was mainly due to me being far too busy to do anything else but work/pack/get ready to actually live a relatively normal life. Memories has not been abandoned, I promise!_


	289. The Devil You Know

**Memories**

The Devil You Know

Disclaimer: What do you think?

If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

There were a complex variety of red markings on the floor, all glowing scarlet red. The Witch was gesturing wildly, curious symbols flashing in the air before vanishing. And now the dust on the warehouse floor, untouched for years, began to swirl up in a maelstrom of light.

The figure appeared in the circle, solidifying from the swirling patterns of light and dust. And a woman appeared, staggering forward and out of the circle, slamming into the floor.

Amber eyes looked up and widened.

"You really put that much effort into bringing me back? Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

She pushed herself up and staggered forward. Logan moved to catch her but she pushed past him before pulling the Scarlet Witch into an embrace. Wanda looked confused and slightly freaked out and then Tora looked up.

And swore. Violently.

"Ah. Minor mistake here. I don't think I'm your Tora."

She managed to extract herself from Wanda and flushed.

"Definitely not your Tora. This is awkward…"

Then she scratched her head.

"Er… Thanks for picking me up and all. I don't suppose you'd be able to take me over to Reed? I need to get back."

Logan and Wanda looked at each other awkwardly.

"Err… We can take you I suppose?"

"Thanks. I'll probably be in quite a bit of trouble. I kind of died on our anniversary. My own stupid fault."

She saw their looks.

"I went in on a team mission to a deserted space station where there were possibly highly hostile aliens. I happened to be the more experienced and less feminine of the two women on the team, not to mention being about a 4.5 on the Kinsey Scale. Of course I was going to get killed. Narrative storytelling insists upon it."

"Huh?"

She rolled her eyes.

"You obviously are far too busy to trawl the Internet. I was 'working' but I have a habit of getting distracted."

She caught their look.

"I write and illustrate a webcomic. Let's me work from home. Kind of helpful when you're one of two full-time superheroes in California with any major training. And the other owns a coffee shop, which is pretty tricky to shut down on short notice."

She saw their looks.

"Okay, I didn't quite get the bit about homophobia when I first got out. I thought it was normal, or at least pretty standard to be attracted to the same sex. And when I make a stupid mistake and admit I'm attracted to a teammember, she gives me hell. It was when I overheard her making comments about keeping me away from Kitty that I left. Wanda helped me out, gave me a place to stay, it progressed from there. We moved to 'Frisco to get away from the gossip."

She saw their looks.

"I'm not saying who it was, okay? We worked it out eventually. Please don't freak out on me."

Wanda was flushing bright red.

"We're… We're…"

"Sorry, I'm kind of used to this. It's just part of my mutation. I live in all realities and just in one all at the same time. I tend to forget people get worried when I talk about relationships I'm not really in. Just because another me is in love with someone else, doesn't mean I'd ever consider leaving for them. Anyway, I can count on one hand the number of men I've found myself mildly attracted to. Admittedly, I've only really been attracted to a few handfuls of women as well."

Logan cleared his throat.

"So… You're…"

"Oh, like you can talk. We still call the time the X-Men split "Logan and Scott's Domestic". Least it only lasted six months before Scott went to Westchester at the same time as Logan headed off to the Bay and they crossed somewhere on the way. Must have spotted each other, because you vanished for two weeks and came back best buds again. Well, I say best buds. More casually undressing each other with their eyes during team briefings. But hey, that's normal."

"Normal…?"

Wanda had bitten her hand to prevent herself giggling. Logan looked dumbstruck.

"Please, don't tell Slim this…"

"Why not? You're such a cute couple. I mean, you were arguing like an old married couple from the very beginning and admittedly, I think the first few times were hate sex, but you ended up incredibly soppy together. I mean, it kind of caught everyone off-centre when I blurted out that they stank of each other first thing in the morning but we worked with it in the end."

Wanda couldn't help it and properly started laughing. The other Tora grinned wickedly.

"I mean, not many people knew, at least until the awkward accidental coming out that involved a rooftop, an unnoticed CCTV camera and two horny X-Men unable to wait 'til they got home. Then a viral YouTube video. You were begging me to take it down. It's now wiped off the Internet, but I had at least eight copies as blackmail material. At least I **did**. My systems are probably all wiped now. Damn."

She shrugged.

"Still the Baxter Building, right? And is this Logan's 'not-so-secret' warehouse in the Docks?"

"Er…"

"I can probably make my own way."

"That's probably not a good idea. The Avengers will freak out when they see you."

"Why… Oh. No worries, just got given an update on the **awful** state of affairs in this reality. I mean, **seriously**? She **made** you kill her? That's just unnecessarily **cruel**."

Wanda shot Logan a look that said 'We are going to have a very long talk after this' and Logan shrugged awkwardly. The other Tora was dancing around in the open air, appearing to enjoy the wind and fresh air. She glanced over at them.

"Do you have any **idea** how boring it is to be stuck as an energy pattern for however long that was? I'm not your Tora. She's not who I am. We're different. I learnt how to blow off steam in other ways. She scribbles everything down in her journals, I go out and pretend to be someone else. Escapism. I've never totally gone off the rails yet."

She was standing there, face up to the sky and Logan felt as if someone had punched him in the gut as a memory overtook him.

_She stood there in the rain, arms out and face upturned, hair plastered to her skull as she smiled. Her tongue darted out and caught a falling drop. There was such glee in her eyes as she circled around. He walked out, shrugging his coat up to protect him._

"_You're crazy. Going out in January rains like this? Come back in. It's only a few degrees off snow."_

_But she turned to him and her whole face lit up._

"_I never got to go out in the rain. It's better than I ever imagined!"_

_And how could he argue with that?_

"Logan? Logan, are you alright?"

Wanda had a hand on his arm and he realised he'd been staring into nothing. He shook his head to dispel the vision and kept on moving. The other Tora was laughing now, a gentle laugh that was identical to his Tora's. She was beautiful in the way he had never seen, sure in movement and in herself. She was different to his Tora. More confident, more assured of her place in the world. He hurried over to talk to her, leaving the Witch to follow behind.

"So… Were you…?"

"We all felt her fall. Then we felt her locked away. And break free. You saved her. She died with you on her minds. She was so **thankful**. We all were. The madness can spread, you see. From one reality to the next. It's why the Silver Dragon made the deal with the Timekeeper. You've met the Exiles, right? The Silver Dragon is our version of the Exiles. She travels from reality to reality, taking out those of us who can contaminate the whole. It is a thankless task, but she lost everything in her world. So she works for the Timekeeper, knowing that once her task is done, he will undo the loss of all that meant anything to her."

"So… Did you and I…?"

"You mean was I ever attracted to my reality's version of you? It would be a lie to say I hadn't **considered** it, when I saw how large a proportion of the whole were happy with you. But… It wouldn't work out. You are closer to me than a brother. I consider you my sibling. You feel the same. Any other form of relationship would feel…**wrong** for us. But know this –if ever we meet, although we may not be lovers, we are always close. Storge, Philia, Eros, Agape. There is always one form or more between us. Even when we are on opposing sides, we often end up with a form of friendship. As one of my less law-abiding compatriots put it "_I'm the only one allowed to kill him, and I don't think I want to give up the fun fights yet_." She's a bit of a thrill-seeker. We're just waiting for it to turn out like 9821. Because eventually, one of them is going to give and they'll end up snogging when they're meant to be attempting to kill each other."

Logan raised an eyebrow.

"So… How exactly did you and Wanda…?"

"She was kind to me. Most people were –you even offered to rent me an apartment somewhere until I was on my feet. But Wanda… She offered me her spare room and introduced me to a completely different social scene. She also most resolutely pretended to have no interest in me until I asked her in an entirely blunt fashion whether something was wrong with me. It went from there. And can we leave that there? I don't want to talk about it without her there."

"Can you tell me if…?"

"You want to know about your Tora, don't you? I'm sorry. I can't talk about it. It's a promise we all made –we will not discuss one of us with the denziens of their native reality. Outside pertinent information. I told you about her last thoughts because it is important to you. But I will not reveal her more private thoughts. They are hers alone, and she will reveal them when she sees fit."

Logan laughed bitterly.

"She's **dead**. She can't tell me anything."

The other Tora stopped and raised an eyebrow almost mockingly.

"You can't **kill** something like us. We are Dragon. Almost all of us are the Dragon. The Dragon is eternal and ethereal. Older than the multiverse. And we… We are a part of it, no matter how much we disagree with it. There is varying levels of acceptance between worlds. The ones where there is no distinction… there we are unstoppable. Your Tora has one of the most complex relationships with the Song. They rely on each other but she is too stubborn to give over entirely."

"Have you?"

"No. But for a reason that all agree is correct –I am not emotionally ready for such an event. The Dragon came to me later in life than many others. I was still getting used to sharing headspace with it when I was attacked and suffered body death. The Song panicked and rather than transferring me to the Library, which would have been the most sensible course of action, it found a pocket dimension and transferred me there."

"The Library?"

"She never told you? The Ice Cold Library. The Archives of Reality. Where all knowledge is kept, all history stored. The home of the Dragon. I have never been there. You sort of have to… ascend, in a way. To a higher plane. It involves deep bonding. If you go to the Library, you can never leave Dragon. You are tied together in a way that cannot be understood. Going there… It entwines you in such a way it can never be undone."

"And has Tora… my Tora… Has she…?"

"She has been there, yes. But she continues to fight, not realising she is ripping out a part of herself. Only by fully joining in such a way that Tora becomes Dragon and Dragon becomes Tora can she heal herself."

Logan felt a flash of anger.

"And why did you never tell her this?!"

"You think we didn't try? She's stubborn. Won't listen. Refuses to believe she'd be better off giving up a little bit of humanity all the time rather than losing it all for short, sharp bursts which end up… Well, you saw how it ended up."

Logan fell silent and considered. If he was to believe her, Tora was partly at fault, rather than the Dragon and that hurt. Because he couldn't blame the thing that took over Tora's body and ripped through the universe.

The other Tora had glanced over her shoulder again at the Witch then shook her head sadly before moving on.

"Still at the Baxter Building?"

"Look, I'll take you there. But… Be prepared for some… bad reactions."

"Trust me, you don't know a bad reaction until you've been thrown out of an entire galaxy for accidentally offending the supreme ruler. There's a price on my head there. I can at least say I didn't realise I was flirting with them, and that turning down a position as a consort was a frightful insult. At least they haven't quite worked out intergalactic travel, so I'm safe. For now. By the time full bonding takes place, nothing will be capable of harming me. There will also be no end. The rule is simple. Once bonding with the Dragon takes place, there is only physical changes as and when we consider them relevant. We become more than gods. Can you see why she fears it?"

"Why? She'd never…"

"She would have to live and would either have to watch you eventually age and die or give you immortality and all the problems that entails."

"What does that mean?"

"We cannot break the rules and gift immortality on everyone who matters to us. She has already used up one of her gifts."

"What?"

"You think Kurt Wagner is alive for any reason other than her? Statistics state that he will experience an elongated lifespan in the manner of both his parents, but immortality? Tut, tut. Removing him entirely from Death's sights? It kind of upsets her."

"Wait… Kurt is…?"

"Kurt Wagner can no longer die. It is as simple as that."

"But… Kurt cut himself last week when cooking. The wound didn't heal any faster than it usually does…"

"Who said immortality has to have anything to do with healing? Like I explained, she was mentally distressed when she brought him back. Rather than just going with the flow… She did a lot of things wrong. For instance, Etana's body would have lasted a few months at most before giving out. It was done wrong and the effects of the cure were merely supressed. Because Etana still enjoys the relative freedom of traversing the astral plane in her duties as the Malach Hamavet, as soon as her body returned to life, it called out for her and trapped her. Trust me. There are worlds where Etana never died during the Darkness. She dies a few months later, in exactly the same manner as she originally did."

"But Kurt…"

"There was a stronger imperative to return Kurt. Etana was already able to be contacted therefore a secondary decision. Look, I'm trying to explain the mind of a woman driven insane with guilt and grief. It's practically impossible."

It was at that point when the Avengers turned up and Steve gave Logan his "I'm Disappointed In You" look, whilst Dr Strange had sealed the other Tora in one of those awful energy cages that stung like hell when you touched them. Great. Just when he was about to get some decent answers.

* * *

><p>Phoenix frowned.<p>

"How could they **possibly **mistake her for Tora? Her psychic signature is all wrong."

"Most of the telepaths on Earth were mutants, Jean. And Tora was seen as a mutant icon. No mutant who wasn't a supremacist would stand against her willingly."


End file.
